Things No Longer Allowed Involving Shipgirls Continued
by queenpearl
Summary: Picking up where CV12Hornet left off, the shenanigans of these girls are endless!
1. Rule 6524

_Rule courtesy of AngryAmerican_

6524e: Especially not for eating!

6524f: 'Snuffles' can be visited at the Tokyo Zoo. Rides are available with prior arrangement.

The summoning chamber was cold. Akagi rubbed her hands together for warmth as she went over the list of items and procedures for her plan. With any luck, she would soon have a massive supply of a meat that no one had eaten fresh in more than 500 years.

The candles and incense were burning, the circle was ready in the center of the floor, and she had the effigy prepared. Akagi added the ingredients one at a time, a bowl of snow, a bit of ivory, a clump of hair, and the sliver of real bone, courtesy of Hibiki. She rubbed the effigy for good luck, then set it in its proper /Instantly, the world went white. Akagi was flung away from the circle by the mystic energies. She felt herself slam into a wall, not super painfully, but enough to probably leave a sizeable dent in the wall. She blinked furiously to clear her vision. Then something touched her.

The carrier looked up to see a massive, hairy trunk. Attached to the trunk was a wooly head, that was attached to a wooly mammoth. "It worked!" Akagi looked around her the dart gun that she had ready to dispatch the creature when it rubbed her head with its trunk. It made an inquisitive noise.

Suddenly, Akagi felt a pang of guilt. She had brought a massive creature back from the dead, and here she was getting ready to kill and eat the thing. She stood up and looked into the mammoths surprisingly intelligent eye. "Aww..." Akagi reached up and scratched the mammoth's ear. "Well, I'll have to find something to do with you now…" She laughed as it rubbed her head with its trunk.

The next morning, Goto looked out his office window to see Tenryuu and a dozen destroyers riding on the back of a mammoth. Akagi was walking alongside, passing pine branches to the creature which ate them happily. Goto half turned and shouted, "Ooyodo, call Tokyo University. And a zoo. We need some experts here."


	2. Rule 1526

**1526c. Also, do not argue about Parsecs with her. We do not want to hear the arguments about it.**

After having had to listen to yet another argument about measures of distance versus time, space shuttle Enterprise, as opposed to the trio of carriers or innumerable smaller ships (at least 23 between Britain and America alone) or the Star Trek sextet – so far. Instead, she had decided to speak to the source of the arguments, or as close as they could get since said source was actually a fairy.

Running a hand through her blonde hair and tugging it off the shoulder of her NASA uniform, she made her way through the halls to the canteen where the Millenium Falcon, a brown haired kanmusu who looked like she was older than her form or face indicated, sat poking at what looked like a bottle of something alcoholic. "Mind if I join you?"

Falcon looked up from her drink and shrugged. "Sure, I guess," she replied. She watched as Space-E took a seat opposite her. "So what can I do for you?"

"I was wondering if you could clear something up," Space-E started, getting a raised eyebrow from the light freighter. "Something that's been going back and forth for years apparently is that your last captain mentioned making the 'Kessel Run' in less than twelve parsecs, but we normally use parsecs as distance here so there have been arguments over it for a while."

Falcon nodded, taking a sip of her drink. "Technically parsecs are distance, the thing is our hyperdrives? Well any good sized mass shadow will cause them to cut out; it's a safety feature to stop ships hyperspacing into the middle of a planet, particularly an inhabited one. Bad things happen when even something my mass hits a planet at those sorts of speeds, add in that we rely on armour and particle shields to deal with things in our way and anything big enough or fast enough will do a lot of damage, even to oversized fear boats like Executor and her sisters." She paused, sipping her drink as she frowned slightly.

Space-E nodded slightly, a slight frown on her face as she listened. "So how does that equate to Han Solo's boast?"

"Well, the 'legal' route to Kessel and its mines is along the Pabol Sleheyron from Formos to Zerm, then up the Kessel Trade Corridor. That route is the 'safe' route, which of course means that whichever government is in power will have at least a few ships along it to look for smuggled goods and such." Falcon explained, cocking her head a little as she consulted her navigation computer database. "You're talking probably about twenty to twenty-five, maybe as high as thirty or forty parsecs to run that route, distance, not time, since you also have four systems along it, any of which could have police ships or military ships ready to scan your cargo and board you if there's anything untoward. The Kessel Run itself is eighteen parsecs in length, maybe a bit more, but it's roughly straight from Formos to Kessel through the Maw Nebula."

"I take it Han managed to pull something or there's something in the nebula that causes issues," Space-E guessed, getting a nod from Falcon.

"The Maw… the nebula hides a group of black holes, something that 'The Ones' created as a prison, along with the Pitt, a nasty set of asteroids and that's without the nebula making you sensor blind. They're the main reason why it takes eighteen parsecs to run the Kessel Run along the 'safe' path." Falcon sipped her drink again. "Han… he took me close to one of those black holes, used it as sort of a slingshot which meant there was less distance and it took less time. The time he boasted to Luke, he'd managed to get the run down to eleven and a half parsecs straight, but the only two ships that really managed to do so, or to actually do better, were me and an Infinity from my universe, and I did it twice, the second time beating my previous record and Infinity's record, which had beaten mine at the time."

Space-E nodded thoughtfully. "Well, if nothing else, at least I can knock my sisters upside the head about that argument. Thank you."


	3. Rule 2500

**Rule 2500 - Fubuki, Zephyr, William D Porter and Naka, Birmingham, England**

It was rare for those ships that were born human to manage to get time off, particularly with all their various other responsibilities, getting time off as a group was almost unheard of, which was probably why a small group of them were currently sitting around in the outdoor seating area near Birmingham's Bullring.

"So," Fubuki started, swirling her drink in its cup. "Two and a half thousand rules, how did we even get that many?"

Zephyr shifted, leaning back in her seat. "I think it's mostly the fact most of us are summoned, yeah those of us who are born have rules pop up and I'm sure I'll be joining that soon with how things go, but our summoned sisters?" She shrugged and let out a breath, looking over at the near two century old church, watching the horde that moved past them. "By the time this war is over, it's likely we'll have a tome."

"Some of mine… I don't even know _how_ we're sisters apart from the fact the US seemed to love the Fletcher design," William D. Porter pushed her food around her plate for a moment. "At least you three don't have too many sisters, nor have to put up with Iowa when she's three sheets to the wind." The girl shuddered at the memory of the last time she had seen Iowa _that_ drunk.

"Eighty-one 'kids'," Fubuki muttered into her drink.

"Most of the wood hulls are rum guzzlers," Zephyr added, shaking her head slowly. "You would not believe how much protest there is whenever a new one shows up and we have to tell them the rum ration got done away with over forty years ago. I don't even know how they like the stuff myself. Of course _then_ there's the fact my twin sister took over from our great-granddad as Plymouth's karas recently, supernatural up the ruddy wazoo." She looked over at the last member of their little group. "What about you, Naka? You ever have trouble with your sister ships or do you drown them out with working as idol for the combined fleets?"

The dark haired girl looked up from her meal, a prawn sticking out of her mouth. Like the others, she was out of her usual outfit, hair done up in a ponytail instead of odangos and simple jeans and t-shirt over the usual orange dress. Sucking the prawn into her mouth, she frowned as she chewed and swallowed it. "Well… if I wasn't having trouble, I don't think they'd be my sisters, though," she stopped, looking up at the sky for a moment. "Sometimes I wonder about things."

"The whole night battles thing Sendai-san loves?" Fubuki asked, after swallowing a bite from her chicken 'karage' curry.

Naka nodded. "That and trying to get Jintsuu-oneesan to accept being touched, I know she didn't have a good time as a ship but sometimes I'd like to just hug her without worrying she'll lock up on me."

Zephyr snorted in amusement. "We've all got issues, heck I've seen Myngs jump more than once if there's a low flying plane, even though we're outfitted with triple-A." She shook her head, closing her eyes as she remembered some things. "Then there's the reception my sisters and I got coming back. Kinda want to see Zodiac again though, she was with me and Zest in the 29th and the Home Fleet, though I was more often a convoy escort and…" she trailed off as a beeping interrupted her.

"Sorry, that's mine," Willie apologised, pulling her phone out of her pocket and wiping her hands off. A quick check of it had her blinking and snorting in amusement.

"What's up, Willie?"

"Well," Willie started, flipping the phone around. "You know how we all started with the two and a half thousand rules thing?" She got nods from the other three. "It seems some of the girls over in the States decided it deserves a party. Iowa is up a flagpole, naked and there's a pile of people collapsing or bumping into things from it."

Leaning over the phone, Fubuki, Zephyr and Naka blinked as a video, probably taken by one of the Fletchers, played, showing an obviously drunk off her screws Iowa hanging off a flagpole at a naval base, starkers but fortunately not showing things to the camera, before panning down to show several naval personnel and shipgirls ending up face planting or walking into things as they spotted Iowa.

After several minutes of laughing, the four managed to calm down enough that those around them weren't staring at them. "Oh jeeze, Iowa's going to blow a gasket if she finds that happened and people recorded it," Zephyr muttered.

"Hai, desu!" Naka exclaimed, slipping back into her 'idol of the fleet' persona. "Though I've heard being naked isn't unusual for Iowa-san."

Willie shivered. "Last time Iowa got that plastered that I know of, she ran up to me naked, hugged me and ran off." She shivered again, nodding to the other two destroyers when they squeezed her hands. "They found her with one of the abyssal princesses."

"Yikes! Though at least she's not as bad as some of the rumours I've heard about the subs."

Naka and Fubuki shared a look, "Iku—."

Cocking her head slightly, Zephyr looked at the two Japanese shipgirls. "How bad is she? I've seen a number of rules relating to her, but never had the 'pleasure'" – she air quoted the word – "of an encounter."

"She petitioned teitoku to open a number of businesses, all of them required members of the public to remove their clothes, tried to claim there was such a thing as 'accidental magnet-induced sixty-nine' and tries to get naked more often than anyone at Yokosuka, even around destroyers who, for the most part, don't even know what's going on with that." Shaking her head, Naka sighed at the antics of the best known 'lewdmarine'.

"Makes me glad I general only have to put up with the hamandcheese brigade, usually you hear them coming so you can throw something at them to shut them up," Zephyr muttered, shaking her head before turning to Willie. "Oh, thinking about it, you mentioned you had some ideas about that SNAFU with the attempt to do a destroyer battle line before you headed back to the States last, did anything come of it?"

Willie nodded.

"What SNAFU?" Fubuki asked.

"Fletcher got this idea into her head to try doing a firing line on an abyssal attack force… it did basically nothing," Willie explained. "It turned out though, while a lot of the girls _did_ need lessons in aiming, it wasn't entirely our fault. Something gave us all mark 15 torpedoes with mark 6 detonators."

Zephyr blinked several times. "Those were the ones that constantly failed, weren't they?"

Willie nodded again. "Yeah, we managed to land about four hundred hits, but they were all duds. Nicolas wanted to go back in time and give the designers a torpedo enema."

All three girls flinched. "Are they really that bad, Willie-san?" Naka asked.

"Mark 6 exploders failed seven times out of ten on a direct strike until about two years into the war. We porcupined an abyssal Ta-class, but didn't manage any explosions."

"Wow… just, wow. That has to be some sucky set up that the day Fletcher decides to try that every torpedo on a Fletcher is one of those useless hunks of scrap." Zephyr shook her head at the ridiculousness of that timing. "Though given everything we've been having the last few years…."

Fubuki nodded, leaning back slightly. It was certainly a weird few years since the abyssal had shown up, especially with all the ships from everywhere showing up, drinking contests, ghosts, her friends and everything else that had been happening.

Taking a sip of her drink, Naka blinked as she noticed the time on her watch. "Aren't we supposed to be going to see the new movie in twenty minutes, Zephyr-san?"

Checking her own watch, Zephyr nodded. "Yeah, you girls done?" Getting nods from them, she gathered up their rubbish to toss it in a bin before pulling her phone to check where the cinema was. "Might as well head up, it's pretty much straight up there and on our left so we shouldn't get lost," she said as the others got to their feet and gathered their things, getting ready to spend a couple of hours relaxing in front of a big screen.


	4. Rule 3314

3314\. When undertaking a road trip, please make sure to have the capability to summon help in an emergency.  
3314a. "Don't count on a ghost trucker to give you a lift." Takao.  
3314b. "Wat?"  
3314c. "Yeah, he was very nice. Kinda cute too." Choukai.  
3314d. "Ghost trucker? Cute!? What the hell happened to you four?"  
3314e. "Just try not to think about it, sir." Maya.

"I knew we should've taken that left turn at Albuquerque."

"Atago, I'll be honest, your Buggs Bunny imitation leaves a lot to be desired." remarked Takao.

"Especially considering we're in Washington and not New Mexico." added Maya.

"You two are no fun at all. Though seriously, I think we made a wrong turn somewhere."

"I've been following the GPS. Though you would think it would be able to find a more direct route than this to Seattle."

"We probably would have been there already if it wasn't for Miss Shortcut." grumbled Maya.

"Hey! I looked up the route before we left, and it said we've shave almost an hour off the trip." said Atago.

"Will you two chill?" sighed Chokai. "Look. How about we do this. Nee-san, you saw that sign for a town up ahead?"

"Yes."

"Why don't we get lunch there, and before we leave, we ask for directions?"

"Sounds good to me. What about you two?" said Takao.

"Fine by me." said Atago.

"How far until we get there?" asked Maya.

"Looks like a couple miles after this turn up ahead. We should be there in no time."

Right as Takao said that, a loud bang sounded in the rental car's engine. As soon as she pulled over, the engine rattled and then stopped, right at the crossroads.

"Murphy really enjoys his job, doesn't he?" muttered Atago.

 _Fifteen minutes later  
_  
'Well, do you want the good news, or bad news?" asked Maya.

"Good news first, please." said Takao.

"I know what's wrong with the car."

"The bad news?"

"The alternator's completely shot. No way we can fix it. How's that tow truck coming?"

"No service." said Chokai.

"Great. Anybody got an idea?"

"Well. It's only two miles to this town. I'll walk to town and call a tow truck. Shouldn't be too long." replied Takao.

As if he had a quota to fill, Murphy struck again, as the heavens opened up with a flash of lightning.

'Okay, let's wait for the rain to stop. It shouldn't last long." said Atago.

 _Two hours later_

"It shouldn't last long, huh?" grumbled Maya.

"Hey!"

"Ever get the felling we're dealing with five-year olds, nee-san?" whispered Chokai.

"Oh, yes, all the time. Look, it's only one o'clock. If it's still like this by two, I'll walk to town and call a tow."

"Walk, in this?"

"We were designed to handle the ocean. I think I can handle a little rain."

Before she could say anymore, a pair of headlights came over the hill, and over the sound of the downpour the four of them could hear the semi's air brakes come on as it pulled over. They watched as tall figure stepped out of the cab, flashlight in hand, and walked up to their window.

"Car trouble?" the driver asked.

"Yes. You wouldn't happen to be able to call a tow truck, would you?" asked Takao.

"Sorry miss, but I don't have a cell phone. I could give you all a lift into town though."

"Are you sure, we'd hate to be a bother.." said Atago.

"No problem miss. I'm going there anyway." the man replied.

"Okay then." said Maya. "Let's go!"

The five of them raced to the semi, where the driver opened the passenger door. Chokai, Maya and Atago got in the sleeping compartment while Takao got into the front seat.

"We don't know how to thank you, Mr..."

"Joe. Joe Crawford, ma'am."

"Well, thank you, Joe.' said Atago.

They rode in the cab for about ten minutes, talking, until the lights of a diner came into view.

"Well ladies. This is your stop. Linda will have a phone you can use."

"Thank you, Mr. Crawford"

"It's just Joe, miss Chokai. By the way, when you order something, tell Linda to put it on my tab."

"Oh, no, we couldn't. You've been so kind already." Takao protested.

"I insist. Now, you all best get into the diner before this rain gets any worse."

Joe waited for them to get in the diner before driving away, waving. Atago, Maya, and Chokai settled into a booth while Takao went to the counter.

"Excuse me, but could I use your phone? we had car trouble and we need to call a tow truck."

"No problem darlin'. Phone's right over there, and the garage's number is the third on the list next to it."

"Thank you."

After calling, Takao joined her sisters, and the waitress at the counter came by to take their orders. "So, where did you break down?"

"At that crossroads a few miles back."

"You didn't walk here in the rain, did you?"

"No, a kind truck driver gave us a lift."

"Who? Maybe I know him."

"Joe Crawford."

The waitress froze, than glanced at them. "Order whatever you want girls. It's on the house."

"Why? Is Joe from around here? We'd like to thank him again."

"Tell me girls. You see that line of photographs on the wall over there?" After they nodded, she continued. "See that one in the middle?"

They looked, and were all stunned as they recognized the man in the old photo was their rescuer. "But, how?" stammered Atago.

"Joe died at that crossroads back in 1984. But ever so often, someone, like you four, will get stuck there, and he'll show up and give them a ride." the waitress replied.

"Wow." said Chokai.

As the rain continued, and as they ate their food, the each took glances out the window, towards the road, pondering.

AN: Please critique. Took me all weekend to find this rule


	5. Rule 3929

Rule 3929: welcome back Haguro, Atago, Maya, Mogami, from their biking trip in the U.S. They will be showing the helmet footage in the lounge after vetting from the Admiralty and a private showing with their classes. Thank you.

"Wait, I'm confused," began Kumano. "You four were gone for a month and a half. Yet there's only an hour of footage."

"This is just the highlights." replied Mogami. "The footage from all of our helmets combined totaled around forty-eight hours. And I've only been able to edit half of that so far."

"Ah."

"We're all looking forward to that." said Haguro. "Now, everyone ready?" Seeing nodding heads, she continued. "Alright, let's get this party started."

 _Video_

"Okay, everyone's camera's are on, right?" said Mogami.

"The little red light's flashing." answered Atago.

"Good. Now, who's got the map again?" asked Maya.

"Right here. And, good news! I found us a short cut that should take about an hour off our trip." replied Atago triumphantly.

"We're doomed." groaned Maya.

 _Lounge  
_  
"Really, you added this part?" asked Atago while Maya snickered.

"Yep."

 _Video  
_  
The four were riding through a two-lane highway in a forest. It was scenic, but they could see that Haguro was glancing at her watch before signaling them to pull over.

"It's been six hours, shouldn't we be in L.A by now?"

Atago shrugged. "I don't get it. We followed Route 128. We should have arrived already."

"Let me see that map." said Maya.

Atago handed the map to her sister, pointing at a line on it. "See? Route 128 direct to L.A."

"Atago, that's Route 12 _0_ not 128. The zero's got a stain on it."

"Oh, oops."

"So, we're lost." said Haguro.

"Not completely." said Atago. "We just took a wrong turn. We just need to ask directions."

"From who? We haven't seen a car or town for forty-five minutes." groaned Maya.

Before she could continue, a car rounded the bend, driving towards them. "Never mind." said Maya as she walked onto the shoulder, waving. Instead of stopping, the car sped up, honked, left them behind. "Jerk." Maya grumbled as she walked back to them, just in time for the sound of another engine rumble from behind the bend.

"I got this one." said Atago as she took off her helmet and started waving. The engine in question belonged to a police Charger. The dark blue car flicked on its lights and u-turned, pulling up behind them. Before the cop got out, Mogami started giggling.

"What's so funny?" asked a confused Atago.

"Look at what's written on the car."

Three words, plain as day, were inscribed on the Charger's side: OREGON STATE POLICE

"Isn't Oregon north of California?" asked Haguro.

"Yep." grumbled Maya. "Which means we've been going six hours in the complete wrong direction."

 _Lounge  
_  
Atago's face was now a very deep shade of red.

"Nee-chan, I think it's time to ask Akashi to look at your navigation system.' teased Takao.

"It was a simple mistake." stuttered Atago.

"Shh, my favorite part's up next." said Maya.

 _Video  
_  
Back on track, the four were now cruising though a very beautiful valley, each of them taking the time away from riding to admire the scenery. Haguro's camera showed her signaling all of them to slow down as they came up to an intersection. A CHP Crown Vic and a motorcycle were sitting at the stop sign, waiting for them to pass. The cops had just passed Haguro's field of view when suddenly an engine revved beside her. Out of nowhere, a black Audi roared over the double yellow, cutting Haguro off only about five feet in front of her. She veered to the right and slowed to avoid the sedan, before getting back into the middle of the lane, shaking. About thirty seconds later, just as the Audi disappear, the Crown Vic passed her, lights flashing, followed by the motorcycle. The bike cop pulled up alongside her, asking if she was okay, to which she nodded. The cop pulled ahead to join his four-wheeled counterpart, and all four of them laughed as they passed the Audi receiving a ticket.

 _Lounge_

"Hah!" laughed Maya. "Karma, sucker!"

"You okay, Nee-chan?" asked Nachi. The three older Myoko's had seen Haguro's trembling hands after the Audi had pulled that stunt.

"Oh, yes." answered Haguro. "I must admit, I may have had a small heart attack after what that idiot did, but that karma made up for it."

 _Video.  
_  
"Well, we leave tomorrow, anything any of you want to do until then?" asked Atago, back in the barracks.

"Well, said Haguro, "there's something I've wanted to do since we got here."

The video then cut to the four of them on their bikes again, riding on the Golden Gate Bridge. On one end, they saw Alcatraz and the skyscrapers of San Francisco casting shadows along the bay, while the other saw the sun slowly disappear over the calm Pacific.  
 _  
Lounge  
_  
As the video ended, the eight shipgirls in the room looked to their sisters and started clapping.

"Wow, that was funny.' said Suzuya.

"And very beautiful." added Chokai.

"So, Mogami, when do you expect the whole footage to be edited?" asked Ashigara.

"About a week or so." was the reply.

"Great, because I want a copy." said Takao, grinning. "This would make for fine blackmail material."

Atago simply blushed and tried to sink into the couch.


	6. Rule 4836

4836\. While we understand that Haguro _did_ get a date from it, don't expect every downed pilot you rescue to do the same.  
4836a. And just because we know most of you too well, ****DON'T SHOOT DOWN ALLIED AIRCRAFT TO GET A BLOODY DATE!****

 _Yokosuka  
_  
"You know sis, you're better off without that jerk." growled Ashigara.

"I'm fine, nee-san. Tonight wasn't that bad." replied Haguro.

"The nerve of that scum! To stand you up for four hours! When i get my hands on him I'll.."

"Do nothing." Haguro abruptly stooped. "Ashigara, I'm fine. Yes, it's unfortunate that the date didn't exactly go as planned, but I still had a good time. Good grief, you're making a bigger deal out of this than I am, and _your_ date was the one that showed up. No offense, Sosuke."

"None taken." said Yonehara.

As the three of them reached the Myoko's dorm, she continued.

"Look, it's late, and I'm beat. Thank you, both of you for inviting me along. I'm gonna get some sleep."

"Night sis." said Ashigara.

She and Yonehara waited for her to leave, then sat down on the couch.

"Well, that date was a disaster." Ashigara groaned.

"At least Haguro did enjoy herself. And she didn't say no to my offer of throwing darts at his picture."

Ashigara put her head in her hands. "Why is it so hard to find her a date? She's the nicest, kindest person in the world. Men should be _lining up_ for her!"

"I know. The problem is that for some reason none of the men either on the base or in town can see that."

"Even I didn't have this much trouble."

Yonehara knew that tone, that almost suppressed sigh. It took a lot to get Ashigara depressed, and it looked looked like tonight had really gotten to her. He wrapped his arms around her and held her close.

"Don't worry _saihai._ Haguro won't be dateless for too long. I'm sure of it."

"It's just, I want her to have somebody, especially now." mumbled Ashigara.

"Why now?" he asked.

"We've been together for over a year now. And I've never been happier. But before that? I was hopeless when it came to dating. Myoko was still in overprotective mode, and I don't think Nachi had any plans for dating till after the war. Haguro was the one who picked me up when I was down, had dinner with me when my date didn't show. She gave me a shoulder to cry on, and she's the one who encouraged me everyday, told me that I would find someone, and I did." she said, smiling at the last part.

"And now I feel like I'm the luckiest girl in the world. But then at the same time I feel guilty. Myoko's engaged, Nachi's seeing that lieutenant from the motor pool, I've got you, but Haguro doesn't have anyone. And I know she doesn't think this at all, but I owe her. For all that's she's done for me, she deserves someone, and i want to make sure that someone is perfect."

Yonehara hugged her again. "You know, Commander Myaki down in Personnel owes me a favor. I could ask for some files to see if anyone looks a good match."

Ashigara's eyes widened. "You will?"

Yonehara nodded, and kissed her. "Off course love."

 _Marine Air Station Futenma  
Two weeks later...  
_  
Captain John Sheppard, USMC, took one last glance at his instruments before gently nosing his F-18 into the air, his squadron following.

"Futenma ATC, Redeye Flight lead, we're in the air. What's the sit-rep?"

"Friendlies resquesting positive support now at 32 miles from 090. Be advised Redeye, they report 234's with 262's on escort."

"Redeye Lead, acknowledged." He then switched his transmitter to his squadron. "Redeye Flight, we're cleared to commit bearing 090. Time to save the Navy, again."

"You know boss, at this rate we'd better start charging." his XO joked.

"By hour, or by kill?" one of his wingmen asked.

"By kill, definitely. We splash 'em too fast for an hourly to work."

"Alright, people, pipe it down. Remember, we Marines are supposed to be professionals." sighed Sheppard, as he tried to contact the convoy's escort. "Redeye flight to Sierra-Oscar nine, respond."

 _The convoy.  
_  
"I ever tell you how much I hate jets?" grunted Ashigara.

"I'm sure you mentioned it once or twice, nee-san." replied Haguro.

"Well, I'll say it again. I hate jets." she said has her AA splashed a low-flying 262. "This isn't fair at all."

"I thought were a great believer in unfair fights." joked Haguro.

"Only when it's unfair to them."

 _"Redeye flight to Sierra-Oscar nine, respond."_ Ashigara heard over the radio, followed by Myoko's terse reply.

 _Great, the cavalry's coming._ She thought. But any positive thoughts were banished when Nachi's warning went out.

"Ashigara, Haguro, watch it! Looks like ten bombers have broken for the _Patuxent."  
_  
Someone on the oiler had seen the planes coming on radar, but the massive tanker was slow to maneuver.

"Okay, Haguro, here's the plan. I'll go starboard and take them head one, and you go port and catch any that break and try for the other side. Got it?"

"Got it"

The two girls separated, taking up positions alongside the oiler. Ashigara's AA knocked two of the bombers out of the shy when the remaining eight scatted. She stared in confusion at the aircraft before two bright streaks of light found their marks, disintegrating one Arado instantly while the other spiraled into the water missing a wing. She than watched as seven Hornets burst out of the cloud, breaking formation to chase the bombers.

 _Gotta love the Marines_ she thought.

Captain Sheppard scanned the sky around him. Either the Abyssal escort had run when his squadron showed up, or they were to busy to notice that their bombers were being swatted like flies.  
He was about to set himself up on another Arado when he caught movement below him. Squinting for a closer look, he saw them. Three blue 234's skimming the water, heading straight for a tanker's port side. Seeing only one shipgirl on that side, he swung around and readied a Sidewinder.

Haguro's guns were busy lighting up a 234 when suddenly one of her 25 mms started firing behind her. Turning, she saw the three bombers heading straight towards her. Eyes widened, instinct kicked in, and every gun that could bear went to rapid, desperate fire. Seeing the two bombs under the engines of each plane, a part of her mind gave a short, cold calculation.

 _The lead plane will hit you, and if you somehow survive that, the other two will sink the Patuxent and nail you in the explosion._

Analysis complete, it prepared her for the end, when suddenly the lead two planes vanished in twin fireballs, causing the third to break off to avoid the wreckage. Haguro then saw what looked like bright rained slam into the last one, cutting it's wing clean off. An f-18 roared through the carnage, blue wing tips cutting the air like a knife. She watched in wonder as the sleek fighter banked back towards the convoy, then was stunned when a dark shadow appeared behind it.

Sheppard knew when he first saw the planes that he didn't have a lot of time. Yanking his aircraft into a high G turn, he fired off a Sidewinder at the lead lead Arado then painted the other one for his remaining AMRAAM, relying on the two missile to fly true. It wasn't conventional, nor was it easy, but he pulled it off, and while his first two kills hit the water a short burst from the cannon sent the last one to join its friends. He was about to look behind him when suddenly his cockpit filled with sparks.

The Abyssal 262 was the escort's leader. It had been the only one to notice that the bombers were in danger, and while it was to late to save them, the force that controlled the jet reckoned that avenging them would suffice.

Sheppard banked hard, diving for airspeed, frantically trying to figure out where the fire was coming from. The sparks and smoke from the destroyed avionics were not helping.

Cmdr. Theodore "Teddy" Douglas, Redeye Flight's XO, saw his leader getting lit up by a 262. Running through the motions, he targeted the Abyssal, locked on, and pulled the trigger. The AMRAAM surged from his plane, straight for the 262, hitting it dead center.

"You're clear boss. I got him"

"Yeah, but he got me."

"How bad?"

"Avionics are fried. Rudder's sluggish, and I'm losing fuel. Looks like I'm gonna have to take the boat back."

Douglas was about to respond when he heard Sheppard curse. _That_ was a bad sign. "What is it, John?"

"Ejection's a no-go."

"Can you make it back?"

"Nope. Guess I'm going for a swim."

"I'll alert the convoy. Want me to stay on your wing?"

"No, get the squad formed up and on the way home. Besides, ditching worked for Sully, right?" Sheppard chuckled at his joke. "See all of you soon." he said as he readied his plane, aiming for a calm stretch of water near a tanker.

Haguro scanned the sky, looking for any other Abyssal planes when the radio crackled. _"Redeye Two to Sierra Oscar Nine. We got one bird torn up, and his ejection seat isn't working He coming in to ditch."_ Haguro saw the plane coming in, trailing smoke. It lined up with the water, leveled out, then hit only a hundred feet from her. She raced to the plane, coming alongside the cockpit. The pilot wasn't moving, and she could see that the fighter was starting to sink. Grabbing on to the canopy, ripped ripped it off of it's hinges and pulled the pilot clear.

 _Futenma Infirmary, three days later._

A nurse led Haguro to one of the rooms. "I'll go tell him you're here."

A minute later, she gestured them in. Moving past the door, she saw the pilot she had saved sitting up in the bed.

"Um, you wanted to see me, Captain?" she said nervously.

"At ease, Miss Haguro. Nurse, could you give us a minute."

The nurse complied, leaving the two of them alone.

"How's the arm?" Haguro asked, pointing to the cast on Sheppard's right arm.

"Looks worse than it is. Doc said I'd be back in the air in no time." he paused. "He also said I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for you. Said you pulled me out of the plane."

"Oh, it was nothing, really." Haguro squeaked.

"I wouldn't call it that. I asked you to come by so I could thank you in person." he offered her his hand, and Haguro took it.

"Thank you, Sir."

"No "Sir", please. Colonel says I'm off duty till I'm discharged. Call me John."

Haguro was confused. Normally this was the part where she would freeze up, or blush, or have something else go wrong, but for some reason she felt at ease. "Only if you call me Haguro, John."

"Off course, Haguro. So, how long are you on the island?"

They talked for a long time, to the point where Ashigara was starting to get worried. Right before she was about to start searching, Haguro walked in, a huge grin on her face.

"How did it go, Haguro?" asked a surprised Ashigara.

"Oh, we talked." Haguro said mischievously.

"And?" prompted Ashigara.

"I have a date tomorrow in the mess hall."

Ashigara took one second to process that, and then she fainted.


	7. Rule 5038

5098\. There are some unspoken rules that all shipgirls obey, no matter how crazy, insubordinate, or antagonistic they are, so it figures that some of our human personnel need this explained to them. If two shipgirls say they are family, they are. Remember, to shipgirls, family is everything, and next to no warships ever sail alone. Those who disagree with this rule, you have two options. Make an apology, or we'll let the pissed off older sisters deal with you.

"So, what's this inspector supposed to be doing?" asked an irate Goto.

"He is, and I quote, "Ensure that the Kanmusu currently stationed at Fleet Activities Yokosuka are displaying proper respect to authority, as expected of assets critical to the defense of Japan." said Ooyodo through gritted teeth. 'Sir, one question."

"Shoot."

"How the heck did Okida get anyone to vote for him? He's a snake."

"He's not the first snake to win votes, and unfortunately he probably won't be the last. Let's just make sure this one doesn't get anywhere near the magazines, rigging storage, or fuel tanks."

"Yes sir."

As she turned to leave, Goto called her back. "Wait, who's he interviewing again?"

"Uh, let's see. It just says any Kanmusu above light cruiser class. So, that adds to Taiho and Hiyo for carriers, with Soryu and Hiryu in a hour or so once the convoy comes in. Nagato and Yamashiro for battleships, and Nachi, Haguro, Maya, Chokai, and Mogami for heavy cruisers. Not counting Astoria and Canberra, though."

"Alright, well as long as he doesn't piss off Nachi this might be a quiet day."

 _Later  
_  
Taiho looked up from her book as Hiyo walked out of the conference room, gesturing her in. She sat down across from the inspector and smiled.

"Aircraft carrier Taiho, I presume?"

"Yes sir."

"Good, first I would like to get some background on you, as my file seems to only cover the basics."

"Okay. Where do I start?."

"From your summoning."

"Alright. Well, I'm the first and only carrier with an armored flight deck currently stationed in Japan, as well as the only on in the JMSDF. I can carry up to 85 planes in my air wing, though for normal operations it is usually around 65-70. I have two sister ships, Shoukaku and Zuikaku, and I'm usually deployed either with them on convoys or with Ryujo guarding the northern fishing fleet."

"That's enough, Taiho. Although, I am a bit puzzled by something you said."

"Which part?"

"You said you had two sisters, correct? Carriers Shoukaku and Zuikaku?"

"Yes."

"But you are of the Taiho class. Is that a sub-class?"

"Not exactly. When I was designed, my architects incorporated many features used in the previous class of fleet carrier, which were Shoukaku-nee and Zuikaku-nee."

The inspector groaned, shooting her the look of someone dealing with stupidity. "So, you're not a sub-class, yet you still refer to the Shoukaku class as your sisters?"

"Yes."

"Taiho, just because you share a engine part or door frame does not make you related to someone. As a Kanmusu, your "family" consists solely of members of your class. Are there any other Taiho class?" he asked, completely oblivious to Taiho's rapidly paling face.

"No." she quivered.

"Then there's your answer."

Taiho just looked at him, shaking, and then she abruptly stood up and walked out.

 _Carrier dorms  
_  
"So when does this inspector want to talk to us?" asked Soryu.

"Well, Taiho's talking to him now, so it probably would be best to go there as soon as possible." answered Hiyo.

"There's goes a nice relaxing lunch. Come on, sis, let's get this over wit.." Hiryu trailed off as Taiho stormed past them, entered her room, and slammed the door.

"Ok, that's not a good sign." said Soryu.

"Hiyo, go get Hosho. I got a feeling she's going to be needed." said Hiryu.

Hiryu and Soryu went up to Taiho's door and opened it. Taiho was hunched over on her bed, staring blankly at the nightstand with a picture of her and her sisters on it.

 _Two days later.  
_  
"Has she gotten any better?" asked a frantic Shoukaku.

"She still hasn't said anything, not even to Hosho." said Ooyodo as they ran down the hallway.

Taiho was still on the bed, completely still despite Hiryu and Hosho trying to get her to even acknowledge them.

Shoukaku kneeled down in front of Taiho while Hosho gestured to Hiryu to give them some space. As the door closed, the two carriers were alone.

"Taiho-chan, tell me what happened." Shoukaku said, but the younger carrier remained still, her eyes staring blankly.

"Imouto-chan, please." Shoukaku pleaded.

Taiho blinked, and suddenly seemed to notice her. Shoukaku watched, waiting for Taiho to do something when the younger carrier grabbed her in a fierce hug and burst into tears.

"Shh, shh. It's okay now, Imouto-chan. I've got you, and I won't let you go." said Shoukaku as she held her sister tightly.

 _The next day.  
_  
"I fail to see the point of your anger."

"You took one of the girls with the lowest self-esteem on the base and managed to convince her that she didn't have a family." grated Goto, visibly trying to resist the urge to throttle the inspector.

"She doesn't. She's the only one in her class." the inspector was about to continue when an arm clamped down on his shoulder.

"So, from that I guess you won't be apologizing for making my sister cry?" asked Shoukaku sweetly.

"Apologize for the truth? Hell no."

"In that case, Admiral, I'll take it from here."

Goto left the room just as the screams started.


	8. Rule 5381

**Warning: The following contains spoilers for the season 3 finale of Star Wars Rebels. Those that have not watched the episode yet, watch it and then read it. You have been warned.**

5381\. To all shipgirls that were in Thrawn's fleet at the Battle of Atollon, no, the girls of Phoenix squadron are not going to your base to get revenge.  
5381a. Interdictor Constrictor(made up the name since Rebels doesn't name Imperial ships), Phoenix Home isn't going to crash into you again. You can stop hiding behind Chimera now.

Vandenburg Air Force Base

Chimera woke up to the sight of the Sun rising over the Rocky Mountains. Vandenburg might not exactly be ideal for housing the spaceshipgirl fleet until their orbital base was finished, but she had to admit, the view was beautiful. She was about to get up when she felt a hand grab her. "Aah!"

"What? No! Phoenix Squadron's come back for revenge!" she heard a familiar voice wail. Chimera looked back on her cot, and sure enough, Constrictor was there, doing her level best to hide under the covers.

"Constrictor, why are you in my bed?" asked Chimera irritably.

"Sabre and Resolution said that Phoenix Squadron just got summoned."

"Yes. Still not sure how that explains anything."

"Well, they said any of the girls that were at Atollon should be on the lookout in case the Rebels decide to get revenge."

"So you're hiding in my bed so.."

"There isn't a single ship in the Rebel Fleet that can get past you. Not even that crazy carrier." Constrictor said, paling.

"New Republic, not Rebel, Constrictor."

"Same thing, they're still scary."

"Constrictor, you trust me, right?"

"Of course, you're the fleet flagship."

'Then trust me when I say that no New Republic ships are out to get revenge on you, okay?"

Constrictor nodded, though Chimera could tell she was still unsure.

Later...

"You know, just when I think everyone's put the war behind them, some new summon shows up and we go back to "Down with the Empire" and 'Rebel Scum." No offense." added Chimera hastily.

"None taken Chimera. I feel the same." said Liberty.

"Got any idea how we can get these ones to let go?"

"Actually, I might. You and Admonitor are taking those Atollon ships out for maneuvers, right?"

"Yes, to P3T-1354, why?"

"Well, Profundity is taking Phoenix Squadron out for training tomorrow too."

"Oh, this should be good."

The next day...

"Um, Chimera, Admonitor? Why haven't we started the training yet?" asked Sabre.

"Because we're waiting for the others to get here." said Chimera.

"What others?"

"You'll see. they're almost here."

As soon as Chimera finished talking, Sabre saw two capital ships, Mon Calamari by the look of them, emerge from hyperspace with about a dozen or so smaller ships in tow. Ships that looked very familiar. Sabre gaped in horror as she recognized the markings of Phoenix Squadron. The Rebel ships seemed to recognize her and the others at the same time, and all at once the two fleets had shields raised and weapons armed. Aside from the four instructors, of course.

"Sabre, Resolution, Celeste, Rampage, stand down! That's an order!" barked Chimera.

"Phoenix Squadron, same goes for all of you." said Profundity.

"But.." the two fleets remarked.

"But nothing." said Admoniter. "Regardless of who was on what side during the war, we're allies now."

"And if any of you disagree, Alliance or Imperial, we'll Executer's commander deal with you." said Liberty in a menacing voice.

Seeing that all the rookies were now suitably terrified, Chimera spoke. "Alright, let's proceed with the training."

Later...

"This is going a lot slower than I thought it would." grumbled Admoniter.

"Patience, young Padawan." remarked Chimera dryly.

Admoniter, Liberty, and Profundity gave her an odd look. "What?"

"It is so weird hearing those words come out of your mouth." said Liberty.

"Hey! It fit the moment."

Before any of them could speak, their communication channels were filled with the sound of alarms.

"What the.." Sabre trailed off as she saw the looks of surprise on their trainer's faces turn to horror.

"Beacon 47 just went to emergency." said Liberty.

"Looks to be about six, seven ships." added Admoniter.

Just as soon as it started, the transmission stopped abruptly.

"What was that?" asked Ghost.

"One of our perimeter beacons just got destroyed." said Profundity.

With Abyssal stealth systems as effective in space as they were on Earth, a line of beacons had been deployed along the outskirts of friendly space to act as an advanced tripwire. Whenever it detected a ship leaving FTL without broadcasting IFF, it sent one challenge, and unless the ship had the correct response, it promptly screamed its head off to anything that could hear it.

"Looks like a fast battleship with a pair battlecruisers, with a minimal destroyer screen." said Admoniter. "Daedalus reports she's responding."

"But she's the only patrol ship in this sector aside from us. D's good, but she's not that good." said Chimera. "Admoniter, Liberty, Profundity, with me. Celeste?"

"Yes?"

"You're in command till we get back."

"That goes for all of you." Liberty added before they jumped, to the consternation of Phoenix Squadron.

When the four of them got there, Daedalus was already in the thick of it, laying into a destroyer with her plasma beams while her F-302's harassed one of the battlecruisers. "It's about time! I thought for a moment I'd have to do all the work myself."

"Better late than never, or so I've heard." remarked Liberty.

TIEs, X-wings, A-wings, and Y-wings join the 302's on their attack runs, while one of the battlecruisers began faltering under the combined fire from all five Kanmusu.

"This shouldn't be too long." said Daedalus.

"Don't jinx it." said Profundity.

Just then, the battleship, the undamaged battlecruiser and the remaining destroyer jumped to FTL.

"Their going for P3T-1354!" yelled Admoniter.

"Daedalus, Profundity, you two are the fastest. Get to the system and cut them off."

"Already there."

"Roger."

Chimera watched as the two went to hyperspace, and were immediately dragged back to normal space. "They got an interdictor here somewhere!" yelled Daedalus.

"Liberty, send your bombers to look for it. Me and Admoniter will handle the Abyssals."

"Got it."

Meanwhile...

"So we got three hostiles coming to us?" asked Celeste.

"Yes, and until we find that interdictor, we can't get to you."

"We'll be ready Chimera." said Celeste as she cut the transmission. She looked onto the ships around her. "Okay, you all heard Chimera. Sabre, Resolution, Rampage, defensive formation theta. Phoenix Squadron, position yourselves between us for anti-fighter support. Phoenix Home, go to the rear line with our interdictors and stay there. Any questions?" There were none. "Good, let's get to it."

The Abyssals jumped out of FTL into a firestorm. The battleship found itself under fire from not only the star destroyers, but from the Nebulon-Bs as well. Any fighters launched by the battlecruiser were hacked out of the sky by the flak batteries of the corvettes, while the a-wings, Y-wings and TIES had almost free reign on the battlecruiser, which quickly succumbed to its wounds. When the battleship tried to retreat, Constrictor's gravity wells entrapped it, and when the Abyssal destroyer and surviving fighters tried a last ditch strike to knock her out, Phoenix Home's fighters tore them apart. Its escape blocked, the battleship lasted only a few more minutes before its reactor went critical and it exploded, scattering debris in all directions.

By the time Chimera and her group returned, the wreckage had cooled, and to their surprise, instead of exchanging nervous glances at each other, the rookies were actually celebrating their trial by fire together.

"Although this isn't exactly what I had in mind, at least they put the war behind them." said Liberty.

"And they got more experience here than they would ever get in a training exercise." added Admoniter.

"I think it's safe to say we don't have to worry about these girls anymore." endedChimera


	9. Rule 5447

5447\. We know nothing we say is going to keep you girls from spying on your little sister's dates, but please, try to keep a low profile, and not completely ruin them.

Okinawa

"Nachi, what are they doing now?" asked Myoko.

"Still just talking, wait, no, the waiter just spilled something again."

"That's the second time in less than an hour."

"At least this time it was just an empty tray."

"Before Myoko could reply, the two heard someone walk up to their bush.

"You sure this is still a good idea? After this morning I'm a bit unsure." they heard a man ask.

"It's a perfect idea. Look, you know as well as I do that the Captain is hopeless when it comes to dating, se we-what the heck!?" another voice exclaimed as he entered the bush and came face to face with Nachi.

"Who are you?" she asked menacingly.

The man in the bush simply looked her in the eyes and said, "Ladies first."

Seeing the signs of impending combat, Myoko and the other man quickly got in between them.

"Whoa Matt, relax!"

"Nachi, you'll give us away. Quiet!"

The crisis over, the four looked at each other. "I'll ask again. Who are you?" said Nachi.

"Hi, I'm Lt. Bryan York, and this is Lt. Matt Chance. We're with VMF-282 stationed at Futenma. And you two are?"

"Heavy cruisers Myoko and Nachi, JMSDF."

"Nice to meet you. I am sorry we interrupted you two, but could we barrow that bush? We're spy-I mean observing our CO's date."

"Sorry, but we're using it at the moment. We're observing our sister's date."

"Your spying on a date here too? Wow, talk about coincidences, right Matt?"

Lt. Chance's eyes narrowed. "Who's your sister on a date with, if you don't mind me asking."

"Oh, the leader of a Marine fighter squadron..." Myoko trailed off as the realization hit her.

There was a brief moment of silence before the accusations began.

"You're spying on our sister's date!" the two cruisers yelled.

"You're spying on our CO's date!" the Marines retorted.

In the other side of the restaurant, the couple in question surveyed the scene, shaking their heads.

"Well, so much for peace and quiet." groaned Haguro.

"At least there's no flying sushi this time." replied John.

"Or a runaway table umbrella."

"You know, when you told me about how your sisters react to you dating, I thought you were joking."

"Nope." Haguro sighed. "Any ideas on how to get rid of them this time?"

"You know, I think I just might." grinning, he flagged down the waiter. "Check please."

Later...

'Where ae they?" asked Nachi as they searched the base.

"The guard said they went to the hanger." said Matt.

" York, Chance, looking for something?" the Marines stiffened as a familiar voice spoke up behind them.

"Oh, Myoko-nee, Nachi-nee, what are you two doing here?"

The quartet turned around and saw Ashigara and Commander Douglas leaning against the hanger door.

"Oh we were just.."

"Spying on Haguro's date again? I thought we agreed that would come to an end, Myoko."

"I know, its just, we don't know anything about him and.."

"Myoko, I'm not angry with you or Nachi."

"You're not?" the two cruisers asked in wonder.

"No, I think Takao has had that covered since I told her what you were doing." Myoko's eyes widened, and she hung her head in defeat.

"As for you two jokers," Douglas spoke up. "What did I tell you about spying on the Captain?"

"To not to, sir."

"Good, you're lucky he's a lot more forgiving than I am. This stops now, is that clear?"

"Yes sir."

"Good."

Nachi glanced around, confused. "Wait, if you two are here, than where is Haguro and her date?"

Ashigara grinned. "Look behind you."

The four looked back just in time to see an F-18 roar into the night sky, banking towards the ocean.

In the F-18...

"So, now that we have some piece and quiet," said Haguro. "please, tell me more about how you fell out of a helicopter."

"Only if you tell me about that road trip prank." John answered.

"It's a deal."


	10. Rule 5453

5453\. Crash a wedding, it's your funeral.

Yokosuka.

"Atago, can I open my eyes yet?" asked Takao impatiently.

"Nope."

"Can you at least take the blindfold off? I'll keep my eyes closed."

"You promise?"

"I promise." Takao said emphatically.

"Answer's still no, sis, and honestly, you are a terrible liar. Have you learned nothing from me?"

"But I wanna see." Takao pouted.

"Relax, I'm almost done."

Yokosuka chapel

"Ok, from the top. Myoko, you're up." said Ashigara.

Myoko stood up and took her place at the altar beside Ashigara.

"Alright, Nachi, Haguro, start walking. Sosuke, music."

As the room filled with "Here comes the Bride", Haguro walked down the rows escorted by Nachi. Ashigara glanced back towards her older sister. "Myoko, remember, keep calm, smile. You're about to marry the love of you're life, focus on her and her only."

Myoko nodded, and it looked like this time everything was going to be fine, but just then Myoko went to hold Haguro, and while she was doing that, she tripped and toppled over, taking Haguro with her.

Glancing at the tangled mass of heavy cruiser, Ashigara sighed. "Here we go again. Myoko, we have got to do something about these wedding jitters. Preferably before Haguro gets a concussion."

"How though?" asked Myoko. "I've tried smiling, deep breaths, thinking good thoughts and simply focusing on Tak-Haguro, and nothing's working. Hell, if I'm this bad at practice, how bad will I be at the actual wedding?"

"With that kind of attitude, horrible." said Haguro. "Look, let's rethink this. okay, right now, you're imagining me as Takao, right?"

"Yes."

"Then don't. At least, not yet. Right now, just view me as me." at Myoko's confused expression, she continued. "Look, if you can hold onto my hands for five minutes after I walk down the aisle a couple times, you can do it with Takao once. The trouble is you aren't relaxing, so for right now, don't see this as you getting married, just see this as you holding your sister's hand. Alright?"

Myoko nodded, and everyone resumed their places.

Cruiser dorms

"Atago, can I see now. Please?" pleaded Takao.

"Soon."

"But you said that half an hour ago."

"Patience is a virtue." Atago said in a sing-song voice. "And done!"

"Yes, now I can take this off!"

"Not yet, I want Maya and Chokai to see this. Be right back."

Takao heard the door open and close behind. She was about to give into the temptation to peak when the door opened again, followed quickly by two gasps.

"Oh, my." Maya stuttered.

"It's beautiful." said Chokai in wonder.

"Now, sis, close your eyes while I remove the blindfold." Takao closed her eyes and felt Atago's hands gently grip the blindfold, pulling it off. "Okay, now open your eyes."

Takao's mouth dropped to the floor. Her dress had a classic V-neck, with and elegant mix of satin and lace forming a wave pattern from top,

"Well, do you like it, sis?" asked Atago hesitantly.

Without speaking, Takao turned around and gripped Atago in a fierce hug. "Thank, you thank you, thank you, thank yo-..."

"Can't breathe!" coughed Atago.

"Oh, sorry." said Takao sheepishly.

The chapel, the next afternoon.

"Final pre-wedding checklist." said Ashigara.

"Guests?" asked Atago

"Check. Chaplain?"

"Check. Reception?"

"Check. Bridesmaids?"

"Yep." said Atago smugly.

Ashigara looked at her hesitantly. "What did you do?"

"Nothing, I just got Nachi and Maya in dresses."

"How did you do that?!"

"Let's just say that I deployed the one force on the planet no Kanmusu can resist." said Atago with a grin. Seeing that Ashigara was still confused, she added. "I had Chokai and Haguro give the puppy dog eyes. You should have seen how fast Maya melted."

"Why did I never think of that?"

Atago simply shrugged. "Anything else on the list?"

"Oh, yeah, security?"

"Covered."

"Good."

Outside the chapel.

"Come on, just let me in. It's not like I'll do anything." pleaded Iku.

"Iku, stop playing dumb. It's you. You're always doing anything." groaned Kamikaze.

"Aww, you're no fun. Look, I'll make a deal. You distract Takao, and I'll take some pictures. What do you say?"

"No."

"Ah, well. If you won't let me in, I guess I'll let myself in."

"I think not." said Kamikaze, blocking her path.

"I've sunk a carrier. An old destroyer like you is nothing." said Iku, glaring.

"You're right. I alone couldn't stop you. But, funny thing is, I'm not alone."

Iku felt movement behind her, and she turned to find herself surrounded by an even dozen other destroyers. "Atago and Ashigara promised ice cream and bedtime stories to whoever volunteered. Girls, get her!"

Before Iku could escape, they were on her, and the world went black.

Meanwhile, in the chapel.

The small room filled with "Here comes the Bride" once more, and Myoko was stunned when Takao walked in, escorted by Atago. They made their way to the altar, and Takao took Myoko's hand.

"You look amazing, _saihai_ ," said Myoko.

"So do you, love." replied Takao.

The base chaplain began his speech, the vows were taken, and the line that marked the beginning of a lifetime of happiness for countless others around the world was uttered.

"You may kiss the bride."

Tears flowed freely in that room as Myoko and Takao kissed, and the chapel was filled with rousing applause as the couple made their way to the reception.

Later that night, at the reception.

"Not that I disapprove, but, Kamikaze?"

"Yes, Ashigara?"

"What did you do to Iku?"

"Oh, that."

The harbor.

Iku had dreamt of her being in chains before. That part, she was alright with. Being chained by a bunch of destroyers and left dangling in the middle of the harbor, however, wasn't.

"Well, I don't see how this could get any worse."

Then, the shark arrived.


	11. Rule 5568

5568\. Next time anybody has biohazard materials, put it in the proper disposal, not a coffeepot.  
5568a. By the way, when will the fear toxin wear off on Nachi?

Akashi knew something was amiss from the moment she walked into the lab. The two Yubaris were staring at the computer, with a mixture of depression and glee.

"Okay, what's up, wrong, or about to explode?" she asked, ready to summon the EOD team.

"Nothing, just one of our experiments didn't pan out the way we wanted it to." one of them replied.

"Well, we did get the emotion down, it just doesn't seem to work on the abyssal tissue we have." the other added.

"Huh?"

"Oh, we made a toxin that when exposed to Abyssals, makes them endure their darkest fears, which should make them easier to both kill or capture, not to mention interrogate."

"First of all, that is not only unethical and disturbing, but I'm pretty sure that violates about half of the Geneva Convention, which brings me to my question. Where is it? Please tell me you disposed of it."

"Sure, I put it in that biohazard bag over there.. Uh, me, where is the biohazard bag?"

"We were out, so I put it in that coffee cup."

"What!"

"Relax, it's not like anyone's gonna drink it."

Just then, a very drowsy looking Nachi walked into the lab, which was bad. For Nachi, a late riser if there ever was one, required at least a pot of coffee to get going, and considering her level of consciousness, she'd managed to mistake the lab for the mess hall. No matter, she thought, for she saw the coffee pot on the table, and before anyone could stop her, she drank the whole pot. Almost immediately, instead of the familiar rush of caffeine, she heard a loud whistling sound. One which made her look up. A blue Corsair was diving straight for her, guns blazing. She dropped the pot and dived behind the table, screaming.

"Well, crap." said Yubari.

 _Later_

"How's she doing?" asked Akashi.

"Sleeping, for now. Ashigara and Harguro are with her. How long until this wear's off?" answered Myoko, with worry in her voice.

"The Yubaris are working on it. They think no more than twelve hours until it filters out of her blood stream."

" In that case, I'll kill them in thirteen hours."

While the two of them were talking, Ashigara and Haguro were looking at Nachi with increasing worry. Almost as soon as Myoko had left to answer the door, she'd started tossing and turning.

"No, no plane go away!" she mumbled in her sleep.

"Shh, Nachi, it's okay. You're safe." Haguro tried to calm her, just as the pony-tailed cruiser bolted upright, her head slamming into Ashigara's, who fell down in a daze. Haguro was unsuccessfully trying to hold Nachi from ducking under the covers.

"Hey, sis, a little help?" she asked, turning towards Ashigara, eyes going wide. Ashigara was in a fetal position, tears starting to form. Caught between one cruiser doing her level best to dig a hole through the bed, and another starting to bawl her eyes out, she did the only thing she could think of. "Onee-sama! Help!"

 _Later, again_

"How did Ashigara get it?" asked Nachi, the cruiser in question bracketed between her three sisters.

"Best guess is, when you awoke from your nightmare and hit her in the head, your lips made contact, and some of the toxin passed into Ash's system. Luckily, since her dose was a lot smaller, it should wear off in the next few hours."

"Good, because as soon as she does, I'm still killing the Yubaris."


	12. Rule 5647

5647\. Just because Plongeur was the first mechanical submarine does not mean that all modern submarines are toilet plungers.  
5647a. That means please pull Iku out of you-know-where. Don't forget she's an important asset to the fleet!  
5647b. "It means diver. DIVER!" –Plongeur  
5467c. And do not confuse her with the American Plungers.

"ZEPHYR!" The shout made the destroyer blink and look up from where she was talking with Fubuki about the latest round of escort runs, this set between England and Japan via the Med and Indian Ocean to see a short girl dressed in a sleeveless wetsuit and Royal Navy trousers run up and dive behind her to get away from what looked like one of the heavy cruiser girls, almost spinning her to the ground.

Sharing a look, the two destroyers sighed, wondering what new madness had occurred. "ATEN-HUP!" Fubuki snapped out, making the cruiser skid to a halt and snap into a salute, revealing her to be HMS Cornwall, one of the newer Royal Navy heavy cruisers. "What, exactly, is going on here?"

The shorter of the two new girls, still clinging to Zephyr's back poked her head up. "Cornwall managed to block the head," she shivered. "Iku and I went in to…" she blushed. "Business. And Cornwall grabbed and shoved her into the toilet, ramming her down there." She swallowed hard. "I don't want to be pushed into a toilet; I know what goes down there."

Zephyr sighed. "Cornwall, explanations?"

"Ma'am, I needed a plunger, ma'am," Cornwall snapped, still holding to ridged attention.

Fubuki blinked, several times. "Plunger? Iku? I know she's annoying but…"

"No, I think I know what happened." Zephyr sighed, shaking her head slowly. "Cornwall's a new summon, she probably knows basically zippo French so she thought that Plongeur meant plunger, probably due to someone's accent."

"How does that even work?"

Zephyr gave Fubuki a flat look. "How many times has Ooi thought someone was calling her specifically when someone's said 'oi'?" she asked before snorting. "English is the language that drags other languages into dark alleys, beats them over the head, steals just about everything they have on them and then gives them a going away present that'd make Iku proud, plus, Britain, we've got more regional accents and dialects per square mile of land than any other English speaking nation as far as I know, and that's not even getting into tech speak." She turned her attention back to Cornwall. "Okay, Cornwall, say it with me. Submarines are _not_ plungers. Just because something sounds similar doesn't mean it's one in the same." She waited until the heavy cruiser repeated her words. "Right, one, you are coming with us to get Iku out of the loo before things get too foul in there, two you are apologising to her and helping her clean off, though no sexual stuff, and then you're on dish washing duty for the rest of our tour here. Understood?"

"Yes ma'am!"

Zephyr sighed, looking over at Fubuki. "The joys of command, huh? You want to come with and make sure Iku's not too bad off?"

Fubuki shook her head. "I'd better, if only to stop her putting a torpedo somewhere it's not supposed to go. That said, how are we reporting this incident?"

Gesturing at Cornwall to lead, Zephyr sighed again, wrapping an arm around the subgirl that had brought this to their attention. "I don't know, but I get the feeling when Plongeur finds out, she's not going to be impressed that someone was stupid enough to mix her name up with a tool to unblock the head. Maybe we ought to make Cornwall learn French at minimum, the amount of world travelling we all do." Feeling a shiver as they entered the base's toilet block, Zephyr squeezed the sub's shoulder. "It's alright, Umbra, no more heads are going down toilets." The glare she sent at Cornwall's back promised rather a lot of pain.

Several minutes later, Iku was dislodged from the 'porcelain throne' and managed to finish emptying her stomach of its contents even as she glared at the sheepish heavy cruiser across the admiral's office from her as Fubuki and Zephyr explained the situation.


	13. Rule 5659

5659\. Shoukaku, Haruna, until you two come up with some way to visibly tell your cars apart, please refrain from parking them next to each other. Or one of you re-key your car so that both keys don't work.

Yokosuka

"Haruna, repeat after me: "I will not go more than a hundred miles an hour on the way to the mall."

"Oh, Hiei, you're no fun." groaned Haruna.

"I'm serious. You know as well as I do that the only place you're allowed to drive like that is on Mount Haruna, not the middle of the city." Hiei admonished.

"Fine."

"Good." satisfied, Hiei hugged her little sister. 'Now, have fun."

"Don't worry, I will."

Haruna walked to the parking lot, and immediately was faced with a problem. Instead of the one silver Toyota AE86, there were two. In what had to be an outstanding coincidence, Haruna and Shoukaku had managed to buy the only two AE86's for sale in the entire city, meaning on many occasions someone mistook one for the other. Haruna grimaced as she remembered the one time Shoukaku's car had broken down, and the tow truck had taken hers instead.

Shaking away that memory, Haruna walked up to the first car, tried her key, smiled when she heard the familiar _click_ , and hopped in. As she pulled away, she noticed something weird on the rear-view mirror, a set of tacky dice. _Hiei must have had a decorating spell or something,_ she thought as she drove off.

 _Fifteen minutes later  
_  
"Ready, Imouto-chan?" asked Shoukaku as she and Taiho walked to her car.

"Yes. I have my permit, my logbook, the insurance information, and my written test results." beamed Taiho.

"And I got the car. Let's go." Shoukaku said as she started the car.

 _An hour or so later  
_  
Haruna was worried. She'd been driving for a while now, and she could tell that something was wrong with her car. There weren't any warning lights on, and the car sounded fine. In fact that was the problem. It sounded fine, yet it had taken an age to get up to fifty-five. Haruna concentrated on the road ahead. She could take a look at it when she got back.

 _Meanwhile  
_  
Shoukaku waved as Taiho left to go pick up her instructor, before reassuring herself that Taiho was ready. _Calm down,_ she told herself. _you managed to pass, and Taiho's a better driver than I am._ The pep talk did wonders, though at the back to her mind, she felt a little bit on unease about her car. During the drive to the DMV, she had noticed it was accelerating faster than she'd ever noticed, but she chalked it up to having one of the motor-pool mechanics give it a tune-up before Taiho's test.

Taiho sighed in relief as she pulled out of the parking spot. The part of the test that worried her the most, parallel parking, was over. Now it was on to the road-test.

"Take a right here, and merge into the flow of traffic." her instructor said. "Than accelerate to the speed limit."

"Okay." Taiho said as she pulled up to the exit, and seeing she was clear, turned and tapped the accelerator. Instead of the light boost she expected, the car took off. Before she knew it, she was already passing sixty, and frantically, she put on the brakes, bringing the car to a screeching halt. Taiho looked across to her instructor. The man's glasses had fallen off when she braked, and his face was white with terror.

"Okay," he said, stuttering. "How about I drive us back to the office."

Later

Shoukaku and Taiho pulled into the base's parking lot, the young carrier's head low in defeat.

"Cheer up, Taiho. Quite a few don't make it on the first try." Shoukaku reassured her. "You'll pass next time."

"I just don't get it though, when I tapped the pedal, this thing just took off. It got to sixty in less than two seconds. I didn't even know this thing could _do_ sixty!"

"I know, I'm gonna have the motor-pool look at it again. It's been acting weird all day."

They pulled back in to the parking spot they had started from in the morning, right next to Haruna and Hiei, who were standing in front of Haruna's car with the hood raised. Hiei was looking worried, while Haruna was looking livid.

"We got to call security, the police, somebody!" shouted Haruna.

"Again, why?" asked Hiei.

"My engine's been stolen!"

"It's right in front of you!"

"That's not my engine! My car has an engine that I custom-built. That thing in front of me is a lowly four-cylinder weed-wacker!"

"Um, hi Hiei, what's the problem?" asked Shoukaku.

"Oh, Haruna's upset that her car isn't going fast." groaned Hiei.

"That's funny, Nee-san's car's been going _too_ fast today." said Taiho.

"Huh?"

"During my test, I tapped the gas pedal and the thing just took off. It actually made it to sixty without breaking down." replied Taiho.

The four were silent for a few minutes, taking those words into consideration while looking at the cars. If both had the hoods lowered, it'd be impossible to tell them apart.

"You don't think?" asked Haruna.

"But, that's impossible. My key worked!" said Shoukaku.

"Well, there's only one way to find out." Hiei took out her own set of keys and hit the panic button. Both car alarms immediately went off. Stunned, Haruna went up to Shoukaku's car, and tried her key. Everyone's jaw dropped when the door opened. She then got in the driver's seat, and turned it over. Instead of the normal stutter that Shoukaku had come to expect, the car roared to life , Haruna revving the engine as high as it would go.

"Nee-san, try your keys on Haruna's car." said Taiho.

Shoukaku complied, and with the same results.

"So, that means that I've been driving around in your car all day?" asked Haruna in wonder.

"And that Taiho took her test in yours." finished Shoukaku.

The first to break the silence was Hiei. "Well, I see a re-keying in one of these car's futures."


	14. Rule 5701

5701\. Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II is not the natural born incarnation of the battleship Queen Elizabeth that rumour dies here and now.  
5701a. Ask Valiant Warspite and Malaya what happens when you try to get anywhere near the Queen without being vetted first. Those MI6 people are scary Valiant.  
5701b. All royal palaces are now off limits since the W and Z class boats where found wandering the halls of Winsdor castle off hours.  
5701c. To those boats where Princess Elizabeth was present during your service you must go along proper channels to meet with her majesty.  
5701d. Even you Vanguard.

5702: The queen is also not the early incarnation of the Queen Elizabeth class aircraft carrier.  
5702a. Thou shalt not speak of her Majesty's corgis.  
5702b. Thou shalt NOT speak of her Majesty's corgis.  
5702c. The Queen's corgis are not PT boats hiding their riggings.  
5702d. The MoD officially denies that the Queen's corgis are not boats that hides weapons and gadgets as if they came out of Q's labs.  
5702.d.i. That means they don't hide under the Coldstream guards bearskin hats as a surprise to any daring intruders that is sufficiently competent and equipped.

"Is it true that Queen Elizabeth is a battleship?" one of the younger looking W-class destroyers asked as the flotilla made their way through the public parts of Windsor Castle.

Zephyr sighed. "No, she's not. The ship was probably named after the last Tudor queen, not after our current one and I'm fairly sure they were around at the same time," she explained, waving her military ID at one of the MI6 agents hanging around. After what she had heard from Warspite, she wasn't risking their wrath. "And before you ask, she's not the incarnation of the latest fleet carrier either, they didn't even start building the carrier Queen Elizabeth until a few years back, a couple of decades at most, Her Majesty has been on the throne since… I want to say somewhere in or near the Second World War, but I need to check."

"Ma'am, are you responsible for this group?" the agent asked as he took her ID to check.

"Unfortunately. There should be three groups around, sir," Zephyr replied, turning her attention to him. "My Commander, Lauren Glenn should be around somewhere with some heavy weight kanmusu, as should HMS Minotaur with the medium weights."

"And how many people in your group?"

"Should be sixteen, unless my twin shows up, she said she was hitting museums though," Zephyr replied.

The agent narrowed his eyes as he looked around the room. "Then why do I only see four?"

Zephyr grimaced, turning around to look. Myngs was standing around in a pale blue blouse and skirt, looking over one of the paintings on the wall, Zenith, the first summon, wearing their usual combat clothing a medium blue shirt with dark blue trousers and beret – standard naval uniform – was crouching next to what looked like a corgi and Wessex, who was too busy staring around like someone had let off a flashbang in her face, a look completed by the frazzled, windswept blonde hair sticking out in all directions.

Zephyr groaned, raising her hands to her face. "Bloody impatient kids," she sighed, turning back to the MI6 agent. "Sorry about this, most summoned kanmusu tend to act younger than they look, particularly destroyers."

The agent arched an eyebrow at her. "Then how are you not acting that way?"

"You have my ID, sir; I know it includes my learner driving licence, which says that I'm eighteen, as does my passport. I do use it when I do go drinking and as a naturalborn I do know a bit more than most." Pinching the bridge of her nose, Zephyr sighed. "Look, can you just radio your colleagues; let them know about the others. Hopefully they'll have stuck together so we can grab a batch at once."

The agent gave her a flat look as she turned to organise the few remaining destroyergirls. "Oh, for the record, Her Majesty ascended the throne in 1952."

"Hey, maybe there's something cool down here," Whirlwind said, pointing out a random corridor to her sister Whelp, both brunettes having slipped away from their group a few hours ago at St George's Gate to explore the palace.

Whelp giggled as they slipped into the Military Knights' Lodgings, looking around at the weapons hung on the walls. This could be fun.

"Eep!" Wizard yelped as she dodged away from a corgi, barely managing to evade it as it ploughed into a bearskin hat that one of the guards had left out and disappeared. "Phew. What is with these PT boats?"

"Err, sis?"

The question from her sister Wager made Wizard turn around to see the other destroyer, red hair sweat soaked from their flight. "What is it, Wager?"

"I don't think they're PT boats?" Wager replied.

"Really? Huh?" The black haired destroyer frowned cutely. "Why do you say that?"

"Well, they don't have rigging for one thing, and I don't see anything to hide it either. PT boats can't summon rigging like us." Wager pointed out.

Wizard cocked her head. "Well… maybe they came out of Q's lab? I mean that one jumped us from under a hat. Maybe they were doing experiments or something."

The redhead just sighed, placing one hand to her face. Now she was beginning to see just how much of a problem Zephyr always had with them since Wizard was summoned after her and hadn't seen normal dogs before. "No, they aren't. I'm pretty sure they're just normal dogs… well, as normal as they get given they're raised to be the Royal Family's personal pets, particularly the Queen's. You just got unlucky and that dog liked bearskins or something."

"Oh," Wizard murmured, looking around. "Where do we go now? I'm lost."

"Uh…"

Kempenfelt and Zodiac sat on the rim of the fountain in the northern gardens of the castle, the pair of girls having spent several hours wandering, now watched the sun start to creep down beyond the castle as evening fell.

"It seems so peaceful here," Kempenfelt sighed, watching the shadows creep across the carefully tended garden, "So far from the war, the abyssals, and everything."

Zodiac nodded. "Yeah, kind of hard to think about it with this quiet, I…" she trailed off, looking over at her sister ship, well, closer to half-sister. "Kem?"

"Mmm?"

"What do you think will happen after the war?" Zodiac asked.

Whatever Kempenfelt might have replied was cut off as a pair of hands grabbed both of them by the ear, making them both yelp in pain. "I don't know about after the war, but you two are in trouble now," Zenith growled as she hauled the two wayward destroyers up by their ears. "Commander Glenn specifically said that we were supposed to stick to our groups and now Zephyr's pissed because you lot not only ran off, but also have been causing a ruckus in Her Majesty's home and we were supposed to leave three hours ago."

"Ow, ow, owowowow… siiiisss~!" Zodiac whined.

"No, you can explain to Zephyr why you left her in the lurch, now let's move." Zenith pushed the pair towards where Wessex was waiting somewhat nervously near the door.

Cringing near the door to the receiving room, Zealous, Zebra, Wakeful and Wrangler watched, wide eyed as a team of MI6 agent forced the much heavier Vanguard to the ground. While they had managed, mostly through being cute, to at least see the Queen through the crowd, the battleship had attempted to go up and greet her. MI6 had taken exception to that; even though the battleship was rather well known given she was one of Britain's last.

"Arrgh! Let go of me!" Vanguard snarled. "All I wanted to do was greet Her Majesty. There's no need for this."

"Oh you have _got_ to be kidding!" Zephyr's voice drew attention away from the kerfuffle on the floor to her. "My apologies, Your Majesty, it seems some of my comrades either didn't get or completely forgot the memo sent around when we planned this trip." She curtsied in the direction of the Queen before turning to Vanguard. "Vanguard! You are a member of Her Royal Highness' Navy, act like it!" The snap in her voice was enough to bring out Vanguard's ingrained training enough that she stopped fighting the agents.

Turning to the others, Zephyr snapped a salute as she noticed Commander Glenn coming forwards, "Commander, HMS Zephyr reporting mission successful on locating the W- and Z-class destroyers." She narrowed her eyes slightly at the four cringing shipgirls. "My apologies for the mess, they're very much like young children, vanishing the moment you're not watching them."

"At ease, Zephyr, we'll sort this mess out when we return to Plymouth and get in touch with Admiral Collingwood." She turned to look at Vanguard, who was fiddling with her clothes, finally realizing just what a mess she had made, even as she lay on the floor, developing bruises showing on her face. "As for you Vanguard, I'm aware that you once carried Her Highness on your hull, but that doesn't give you any privileges regarding seeing her again, understood?"

"Sir," Vanguard responded.

Glenn narrowed her eyes briefly as the agents let the battleship up before turning back to the Queen and saluting her. This was going to be a long night.


	15. Rule 5809

5809\. No, Myoko does not need therapy to deal with her sisters dating. She's come a long way from being way too overprotective. Just, no one mention Haguro's last date until after she's figured out what Haguro meant by "Home run".

"I thought you said you're happy with how Haguro's relationship was going." said Takao.

"I'm happy with the relationship itself, yes. What I'm worried about is the progress of said relationship." Ashigara told her sister-in-law.

"What's the problem?" asked Atago.

"They've been dating for seven months, and they haven't even kissed yet!" said Ashigara.

"So? Me and Myoko went five months before we kissed for the first time. It could just be that the two of them want to take it slow."

"It's not just taking it slow, though," Ashigara said, sipping her tea. "Haguro's _never_ kissed anybody. Every single date fell apart before it came to that, and she's terrified of trying to push it."

"Maybe we should tell Sheppard to make the first move." quipped Atago.

"Tried. According to Commander Douglas, Sheppard's track record is not just as bad as Haguro's, it's worse. He hasn't been on a date since senior prom."

Both Takao's and Atago's eyes widened. "I take back everything I said about pilots getting all the girls." said Atago.

"Okay. So, what's the plan?" asked Takao.

"Well, in two days, Sheppard and Douglas will arrive on leave from Futenma. Now, the plan is, me and Sosuke will take them on a double date to Hosho's. Now, Takao, I want you and Myoko to come too."

"You sure that's a good idea?" asked Atago. "No offense to Myoko, but she didn't exactly take either you or Haguro dating too well."

"I'll make sure she doesn't do anything rash. Continue." said Takao.

"Alright, while the six of us are talking, Atago, since you're good with music, I want you to go to the jukebox and find something for us to dance to. Something slow and romantic. With any luck, they'll kiss and realize they can take it to the next level."

"I'm in!" said Atago.

"Same here." added Takao.

 _Two nights later.  
_  
"Nee-san, are you sure about this dress?" asked Haguro hesitantly.

"Off course I am. Have I ever steered you wrong when it comes to fashion?"

"Well.."

"Don't answer that. Come on, we're late."

 _Outside  
_  
When it came to his girlfriend's plans, Sosuke had to admit, this one was one of the craziest. Which, he mused, meant it probably had a good chance of working. Providing that Sheppard could stop adjusting his bow tie nervously every five seconds. He would have found it funny that a fighter pilot who battled literal demons would be nervous about a date, but then he remembered that Haguro was an actual warship who was just as nervous about dating.

Just then, the door opened, and Sosuke swore everybody's jaws dropped. Ashigara was in her favorite red blouse, looking as gorgeous as ever, but the real shocker was Haguro. Her normal uniform was gone, replaced with a bright violet dress ending at the knees.

"Alright, everyone's here. Let's go!" said Ashigara as she took Sosuke's hand. "How's the plan going?"

"Atago and Theodore got a song ready, and, judging by the looks those two are giving, they're made for each other."

"Let's hope it works."

 _At Hosho's  
_  
The night was going well. Everyone was enjoying themselves, and Myoko had even warmed up to Sheppard a little. Or, she had noticed the small glare Takao had given her. Ashigara caught movement in the corner of her eye. turning, she saw Atago and Theodore by the jukebox, waving.

 _Now's the time,_ she thought to herself. "Hey, anyone for dancing?"

Takao nodded. 'Sure, come on Myoko. Let's go."

Haguro and John both looked hesitant. "Do you want to dance?" asked John.

"Oh, um, yes." stuttered Haguro.

With that, she took the Marines' offered hand and joined everyone else on the floor. Atago pressed the button on the jukebox, but instead of a slow melody, sounds of disco piano filled the bar.

"What happened to slow and romantic?" whispered Takao.

"I don't know. Just roll with it." said Ashigara.

 _At the jukebox_

"Oh, What a Night?" questioned Theodore.

"December, 1963, actually." grinned Atago.

As the roomed filled with the voice of Frankie Valli, Haguro and John's eyes stayed locked onto each other. As they danced, something inside both of them _clicked_.

A bit later, both Sosuke and John went to dispose of their food, leaving the four girls to themselves.

"Ashigara, could I see that for a minute?" asked Haguro, pointing to Ashigara's beer.

Confused, Ashigara passed it to her. "You're gonna spend the night with Sosuke, right?" Haguro continued.

"Yes, why?"

Instead of answering, Haguro watched as her date came back to the table. Before he sat down, she chugged the beer, stood up, and kissed John on the lips. Everyone else at the table sat in stunned silence as she held the kiss for ten seconds, before parting, breathless. "My place. Ten minutes. Be there." With that, she turned and left the bar.

John stood there, staring blankly at her retreating form, when suddenly, Sosuke nudged him. "Don't just stand there! Go get her!" John nodded, and quickly followed his girlfriend out the door.

The first to break the silence at the table was Ashigara, who summed up what everyone was thinking. "What the hell just happened?!"

 _The next day  
_  
Everyone was eating breakfast in the mess the next morning when a _very_ satisfied looking Haguro walked in.

"How did it go, imouto-chan?" asked Ashigara as she sat down at the table.

"Home run." Haguro said dreamily.

As Ashigara hugged her sister with glee, Myoko looked confused until Takao whispered in her ear, after which, she paled as she spoke. "So, you're not a, a,"

"No, though speaking of that, Ashigara?"

"Yes?"

"How do you avoid breaking the hips?"

The words hung in the air for barely a moment before Ashigara blushed and Myoko fainted.


	16. Rule 5844

5844\. Don't leave World of Warships playing in the summoning room.  
5844a. On that note, please welcome aircraft carrier Hakuryu to the base.

 _Yokosuka  
_  
"Well, we got the supplies, the sensors, and the data from when we summoned our rigging. What's next?" Yubari asked her twin.

"Now we need to find a Kanmusu bigger than a light cruiser to compare the data to."

"Who's available?"

"Kongo, Tosa, Nagato, Mutsu, Ryujo, Taiho, and the Mogamis'."

"That's it?"

"Remember, RIMPAC's going on. A good third of our heavies are in Hawaii, and the rest are out on patrols."

"Oh, yeah. Hey, why aren't we there? We haven't been to Hawaii for a while now."

"Because the state of Hawaii banned us. They really didn't like being included in your "End the World" device."

"Now I remember. back to the experiment." Yubari paused, musing over the list of names. "Let's go with Taiho. She's the least likely to either shoot us, or report us to the Admiral."

"Good idea."

The two light cruisers reached Taiho's room. Yubari held up her hand to knock, only for her twin to grab her.

"Wait! Don't you hear the music?" both girls were silent, and sure enough, the sound of a violin could be heard from the other side of the door.

"Crap. We can't ask Taiho. She'll kill us if we interrupt her practice."

"No, she won't. Besides, it's not like we have another option. Sure, Mogami's gullible enough, but her sisters are getting too good at keeping her from getting caught up in these experiments."

"But, remember what happened to Kasagi?"

"Look, she was annoying as heck. We'll be fi-"

"Can I help you two?" A new voice cut through the conversation like a knife, and the two cruisers jumped back as the door opened to reveal a _very_ irritated looking Taiho.

"Oh, hi. We didn't know you heard us." Yubari stammered.

"Yubari, people heard you in _Tokyo_. What do you want?"

"We just need you to come down to the summoning room and summon your rigging while we record you."

"Huh?"

"South Dakota came up with the theory that different ships emit different energies when summoned, depending on displacement. She hasn't had time to experiment, so she gave us a call." one Yubari started.

"We've already recorded ourselves summoning our rigging, so we want to see it there's a difference where a Kanmusu with a larger displacement summons hers." the other finished.

Taiho looked thoughtful. "Just summon my rigging? No crazy rays or big red buttons?"

"Just summon it while we record you, and then de-summon it. Shouldn't take longer than ten minutes."

"Fine. But if this goes south, the two of you just volunteered to be target practice."

"Sure, let's go."

 _The summoning room.  
_  
Taiho looked over the sensors and monitors, wondering if she had made a mistake. "These do what, again?"

"They'll monitor the energy output when you summon your rigging. What frequency, wavelength, etc."

"Then what's with the World of Warships?"

"Oh, that's mine." one of the Yubari's said, sheepishly. "I had some down time earlier."

"Let's get started. The sooner we're done, sooner you can go back to your violin."

Taiho stood in the middle of the chamber, closed her eyes, and summoned her rigging. The usual blinding light and flying sparks filled the area, but as her rigging manifested, a huge bolt of lightning shot out from Yubari's computer and struck the cache of supplies that were housed in the room. Taiho barely had time to raise her flight deck to shield herself before the room filled with smoke.

"Darn it, Yubari. You said there'd be no explosions!"

"I don't know what happened!? Everything was fine when we did it."

"Well, at least nothing's on fir-, hey girls, we were the only ones in here, right?"

"Yeah, why?" asked Taiho.

"Then, why am I picking up something in the summoning pool?"

The three shipgirls looked to the pool, dread rapidly overtaking them as splashing was heard from the smoke.

"Get help. **NOW!** "

One of the two cruisers bolted, while the other crouched behind the desk. Taiho raised her crossbow, and taking a deep breath, stepped into the pool. The smoke was blinding, but whatever had appeared was making more than enough noise for her to get a fix on its position. Suddenly, a silhouette loomed out of the smoke, but before Taiho could fire, it jumped back with an _Eeep!_

Taiho looked down as the smoke cleared, revealing a young woman sitting down in the water, trembling. While she was pale, she clearly was no Abyssal. Taiho lowered her crossbow, just as all four battleships on base burst through the door, rigging summoned and weapons ready.

'Wait!" Taiho yelled, standing between the battlewagons and the newcomer. "I think we're good."

Seeing that the mystery girl was not an Abyssal, they lowered their weapons, while Taiho knelt back down to face her.

"Hello, my name's Taiho. What's yours?"

The girl looked at Taiho, and stammered 'Aircraft carrier Hakuryu reporting for duty."

 _Later_

"So, how did this happen?" asked Goto as Taiho and Ryujo showed the new girl around the base.

"I had an open tab on my laptop, and MSSB must have done the rest." answered Yubari.

"Taiho and Ryujo are gonna look after her until Hosho gets back from Sasebo." the other continued.

"Very well. Though next time, keep the computer games in your room."


	17. Rule 5820

5820\. Do not use a shipgirl's personal vehicle without their express permission. Don't let what happened to Nachi happen to you.

Yokosuka.

The missile surged through the air, slamming into it's intended target. It was followed once, twice, then three times, and to one heavy cruiser's consternation, they all landed in the exact same place.

"Four for four." said Maya, smirking.

"How?" asked Nachi.

Maya merely pointed to her eyes. "American fire control, honey. I love this new radar."

Nachi scoffed as she downed her sixth beer. "Lucky shot. Nothin' more."

"Yeah?" boasted Maya. "I like to see you top that. Hosho, another round."

Nachi emptied her mug, trying to think of a way to put Maya back in her place. Normally, she'd take her time and come to a logical decision. But, with seven, soon to be eight beers in her, she instead came to what was to be a very rash, and later, painful decision.

"You're good on a bike, right?" asked Nachi.

"What about it?" asked Maya, surprised.

"Can you do a wheelie?"

"Oh, yeah." said Maya. "Only one I know who can do it better is your sister."

"I bet you 2200 yen I can do a better wheelie than you." said Nachi, slamming her mug down.

Maya's eyes narrowed. "Since when do you have a bike? Or, ride one, for that matter?"

"Never ridden a bike before in my life, and I don't have one."

"Well, you're not riding mine, and Atago's out of town."

"Don't worry, I know where I can get one."

It took a moment before realization dawn on Maya. "You can't do that. The only things Haguro likes more than that bike is her boyfriend and the four of you."

"Relax, Maya. Haguro doesn't take her daily ride till sunset. It'll take me ten minutes tops to beat you."

A few minutes later, Nachi and Maya were standing next to Haguro's bike, where they had run into a slight problem.

"Where's the key?" asked Nachi.

"There isn't a key. It's a kick start." said Maya.

Soon, Nachi had started the bike and pulled out of Haguro's spot, ready to go. Maya was about to start her off when she heard some familiar voices behind her.

"Why are we doing this again?" asked Myoko hesitantly.

"Because both me and Ashigara-chan think you need to get out of your shell." answered Takao.

"Face it, Nee-san. You need more drama in your life." added Ashigara.

"I already have too much drama. I'm your sister," she said, pointing to Ashigara. "and I married you."

Both Takao and Ashigara glared while Haguro giggled. "Don't worry, onee-chan. Riding a motorcycle is perfectly safe.."

Before she could finish, Nachi, through with waiting for Maya, took off, racing down the parking lot. Feeling she was going fast enough, she leaned back and performed a perfect wheelie, for all of two seconds. She went too far back, and fell off the seat. Haguro's bike, now rider less, continued on for another twenty feet before it fell on it's side and skidded to a stop.

"Nachi!"

"Are you hurt!?"

"Say something!"

As everyone rushed to her side, Nachi opened her eyes and stood up. "Did I do a wheelie?"

"No," said Maya. "You fell off the bike. Speaking of which, how is the bike?"

All heads turned and saw Haguro kneeling by her bike. The front fender was dented, the handlebar was bent, and the paint on one side was completely ruined.

"My bike." said Haguro slowly, turning her gaze towards Nachi.

"Oh, sis. I didn't know you were going to ride your bike early."

Haguro didn't say anything as she slowly advanced towards the group.

"It was really fun to ride. I can see why you like it so much." said Nachi, color draining from her face.

Haguro simply glared at her.

"Would it help if I said I was sorry?" she asked lamely.

"NACHI!" Haguro roared. "I'M GONNA KILL YOU!"

"Eeep!" yelped Nachi as she ran, her little sister hot on her heels.

"A part of me says we should intervene." said Myoko.

"A good point." replied Ashigara.

"But another part of me rather enjoys living."

"Also a good point."

"Where are you going?" asked Takao as Maya walked away.

"Back to Hosho's. I'm way too sober for this."


	18. Rule 5853

5853\. Due to last week's incident during the commissioning ceremony for JS Mutsu, USS Ira Hayes, and USS Cole, the following shipgirls are now banned from Ingalls Shipbuilding.  
5853a. Darter, Iku, and Aoba, you all know what you did.  
5853b Scratch Aoba from the list above. She was just in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Yokosuka

"Oh, Mutsu, go right on in, the admiral's been expecting you." said Oyodo as she beckoned the battleship into the office.

Instead of the expected wall of paperwork, the room looked surprisingly tidy, and aside from Goto, Nagato, and an American officer, almost empty.

"Admiral, you wanted to see me?" asked Mustu.

"Yes, Mutsu, please sit down." Goto gestured to a chair. After she sat down, he continued. "Mutsu, this is Admiral Benjamin Ravencroft, commander of the Seventh fleet."

"Pleased to meet you," he said, offering his hand.

Mutsu took it. "Thank you, Admiral Ravencroft."

"Now, Mutsu, what do you know about the Flight II Zumwalts?"

"They're modified versions of the Zumwalt with AEGIS, facilities capable of supporting a modest Kanmusu detachment, as well as improved AA and ASW."

'Did you know that the JMSDF is buying some?"

A look of surprise came over her. "I did not sir. I thought JMU was still working on the last two Mirais."

"They are. Thanks to material shortages, both Satsuma and Settsu won't be complete for another three months and eight months respectfully. And since all of our other shipyards that could handle a Zumwalt are committed, the first two of the class are being built by Ingalls in Mississippi. Afterwards, production will be handled by JMU."

"When will those two be done, sir?"

'The first of class finished sea trials last week, and will be commissioned at Ingalls in two weeks with the USS Ira Hayes along with the recommissioning of the USS Cole. Her sister ship should be commissioned by the end of the year."

"That's great news, Admiral. Though I must admit I'm a little lost as to why you're telling me this in your office instead of at a normal assembly."

"I was hoping you would ask that. Nagato?"

Mutsu watched as her sister handed her an envelope, barely able to suppress a smile. Mutsu opened the letter and did a double take as she read it.

 **You are invited to attend the commissioning ceremony of USS Ira Hayes and JS Mutsu.  
**  
Mutsu barely had time to process that sentence before Nagato grabbed in a huge bear hug.

"Congrats, sis!"

'I don't what to say. How?.."

"Do you remember a battle roughly two years ago? When the first Flight II Zumwalt, the Francis E. Brown, paid a courtesy visit?" asked Goto.

"And the convoy got jumped by a task force a hundred miles out of port? Yes. I towed the Brown back after a freak hit to her propellers." said Mutsu, still confused.

"There were a lot of Ingalls employees on the Brown, so when they heard that the first two JMSDF Zumwalts were being built in Mississippi, they asked that we change the name from Zao to Mutsu."

"Besides the commissioning ceremony, the employees on the Brown wanted to thank you, personally."

"I'd be honored to, Admiral." Mutsu stammered.

"Good, now, get some rest. You earned it."

 _Pascagoula, Mississippi, two weeks later._

Mutsu had been to several Japanese shipyards since her summoning, and although all had been busy, nothing came close to matching the flurry of work at Ingalls. On one end, the distinctive superstructures of JS Ishizuchi and USS Morton were dwarfed by the massive hull of USS Belleau Wood as the three ships neared completion. On the fitting out pier, yard hands worked furiously to recommission USS Bunker Hill and finish her younger consort, USS Frank E. Peterson, Jr. Finally, in the middle sat the three stars for today. JS Mutsu sat at the pier alongside her sister, USS Ira Hayes, while across from them sat USS Cole, just out of overhaul and ready to be returned to the Navy. All three ships were decorated to the hilt with ribbons, flags, and streamers, and their paint shined in the Mississippi sun.

While Mutsu and Nagato admired the scene, others had more, shall we say, risque plans. Harder had somehow managed to wrangle a pair of invitations to the ceremony, and knowing that plenty of the shipgirls attending had rather large fuel tanks, she and Iku decided some fun was in order.

"Okay, do you want to start small, and go with New Orleans or Augusta?" asked Harder. "Or do you want to go straight for the battlewagons?"

"Do you really need to ask that?" replied Iku with a suggestive look on her face. "Let's go for Nagato. She''l be fun."

"You want to go for Nagato?" said a surprised Harder. "She's a tough nut to crack."

"Which is why we distract her. You go up and fake a pass at Mutsu. While their both distracted, I'll go in for the money shot."

"I like it. Though, let's do it about an hour before the commissioning ceremony. There'll be enough people in here for us to hide in, but not enough to block any escape."

 _Later  
_  
The plan was in motion. Harder ducked in behind Mutsu's seat, while Iku stood ready to strike. Everything was going perfectly, but right as Harder made her pass on Mutsu, drawing both battleship's eyes towards her, Aoba and Kinugasa walked in between them, cameras in tow, trying to find a place to film the commissioning. Seeing her window closing, Iku opted for speed instead of stealth, lunging towards her target, only for Aoba to get in her way. The impact sent both Kanmusu stumbling backwards, right into Nagato's lap.

The raven-haired battleship stared at them for only a moment before a scowl appeared on her face. She grabbed the two by the scruffs of their necks and flung them into the river.

Peace returned to the pier, and soon the shipyard was filled with the sounds of "Anchors Aweigh" and the Warship March. The three sponsors stood on the podium together, and in both English and Japanese, spoke the eight words that signaled the start of a ship's service to her country.

"Man our ship and bring her to life!"

The crowd cheered as the crews of JS Mutsu, USS Ira Hayes, and USS Cole manned the rails, standing at attention as the Rising Sun and Star and Stripes were raised. At dawn, the three ships would leave for the Panama Canal, and onward from there to Yokosuka, to join both the Kanmusu and their steel-hulled counterparts against the Abyss.

A little while later, Nagato and Mutsu watched as Aoba got a sling for her bruised arm. The arm would heal in a few hours, so there was no need for the heavy cruiser to go to the docks, but the doctors wanted the sling to keep is still until then.

"Aoba, I can't tell you how much I'm sorry." said Nagato sheepishly.

"Don't worry about it. I'll be fine before the day's out, Kinugasa managed to record the commissioning without me, and Harder and Iku are now guests of the Coasties. There's really only one thing left."

"What?"

"Can I count on the two of you for an exclusive?"


	19. Rule 5902

5902\. Shoukaku is not obsessed with rain. She just likes it.  
5902a. Seriously, how do all of you come up with these ideas?

Yokosuka

"Why are we in this storm again instead of our nice, dry quarters?" asked Sakawa.

"Someone has to check the storeroom, and we drew the short straws." answered Yahagi.

"Yeah, and all the bigger ships get to stay inside. Two hundred Kanmusu assigned to this base, and we're the only two out in this deluge."

Before Yahagi could reply, the sound of humming could be heard over the rain. The two cruisers stopped in front of the carrier dorms, watching as a figure in a yellow rain coat skipped, _skipped_ , out the door. The figure spun and twirled as if the rain didn't exist. They watched as the mystery girl pulled of her hood, revealing herself to be Shoukaku. The carrier closed her eyes, smiling as she stood in the rain, apparently basking in the downpour.

When Shoukaku left, Sakawa and Yahagi looked at each other. "Ok, that was weird." said Sakawa.

Later that week.

"Um, Mother?" asked Kaga(DDH).

"Yes, Kaga-chan?" said Zuikaku.

"Is Shoukaku-obasan obsessed with rain?'

Both Zuikaku and Kaga(CV) blinked, momentarily wondering if they'd misheard their daughter.

"Obsessed with what?"

"Rain. Sagawa saw her twirling in the rain earlier this week, and all the other destroyers think she's obsessed with it."

"Kaga-chan, Shoukaku-nee is not obsessed with rain. Now, she does like rain more than most people, but that's it."

"But, why was she dancing in the rain? That's kinda odd, right?"

Zuikaku pondered that for a moment. "Actually, I don't know about that one."

"Why don't you ask her when she, Taiho, Tosa, and Akagi come over for dinner?" said Kaga.

That Night.

"So, anything interesting happen while I was gone?" asked Tosa.

"Well, actually, Kaga has a question for Shoukaku-san."

"What is it, sweetie?"

"Earlier this week, Sakawa and Yahagi saw you dancing in that thunderstorm, and all the destroyers in class are saying you're obsessed with rain, and I wanted to know if that's true or not."

Shoukaku looked bemused. " Oh, it's not an obsession. More like a hobby. Back when I was a steel-hull, I got caught in a thunderstorm on my shakedown cruise, and for whatever reason, I've enjoyed the rain ever since."

"That's it? No strange happenings or weird superstitions? You just like rain?" asked Zuikaku.

"Yes." replied Shoukaku. "Sakawa and Yahagi really need to work on that imagination of theirs. The things those two come up with never cease to amaze me."


	20. Rule 5952

5952\. After numerous failed attempts to figure out how two female Kanmusu are able to conceive, we give up.-Akashi, the Yubari's, and a whole boat-load of doctors.

Yokosuka.

"That the new magazine?" asked Takao.

"Yes, I was just leafing through it." said Myoko. "Here you go."

"Thanks. Did you look at the Zushi house yet?"

"No, not yet. I'm still looking at the one in Miura. The one on the hill."

"That one was nice, but a bit too small. Sure, two bedrooms, one bath is fine for now, but it probably won't be down the road."

Before Myoko could reply, the door opened with a click, revealing Ashigara and Atago.

"Hey lovebirds, how's the house-hunting going?" asked Atago cheerfully.

"Pretty good. Who knows, maybe this magazine will have the right one." said Takao.

"Well, while you do that, I'm gonna get some water, any of you want anything?" cut in Myoko.

"Some water, please, nee-san. Air conditioner went out in the classroom again." replied Ashigara.

"Nothing for me, thank you." added Atago.

Takao was about to open her mouth when Myoko spoke. "Let me guess, more celery, right?"

"Yes, please."

Atago gave her sister an odd look. "I never knew you liked celery, sis."

"It's the strangest thing. I woke up this morning and wanted celery for some reason. I guess Maya's latest fitness routine is getting to me." she paused, clearing her throat. "So, Ash, the AC broke again?"

"Yep. Figures. The old one worked fine, and it gets replaced by that nightmare. Me and Haguro are seriously considering having class outside. Can't be any hotter."

As the three of them talked, Myoko grabbed a pair of water bottles out of the fridge. She was about to get the celery when she began to feel dizzy all of a sudden. She stumbled for a second, bracing herself against the fridge. The room began to spin, and she felt herself losing her balance. The last thing she saw was the floor coming up to her.

A loud _THUD_ broke the conversation in the living room. The three cruisers looked towards the other room. "Hey Myoko, you ok?" asked Takao, with worry in her voice.

All that could be heard was a low groan. Takao, Ashigara and Atago walked in to find Myoko on the floor in a daze.

"Myoko, what happened?!" asked Takao, immediately by her wife's side.

"I don't know, I just felt woozy all of a sudden."

"We should get you to Akashi." said Ashigara.

"Relax sis, I'm fine." said Myoko as she tried to get up, only to slide back down. "On the other hand, you might have a point."

A few hours later..

"Well, what's the verdict Akashi?" asked Takao.

"She's perfectly fine. All the bloodwork came back normal, and there's no concussion from the fall." the repair ship paused. "She's a little anemic, but that's normal."

"It is?" said Myoko.

"In your condition, yes."

"What condition?"

Akashi blinked in surprise. 'You mean, the two of you don't know?"

"Know what, Akashi?" asked Takao irritably.

"Well, you're expecting."

"Expecting what?"

"A baby. " At the couples shocked expressions, she continued. "You're pregnant, Myoko. From what I can tell, you're ten weeks along."

Myoko was about to reply when she heard a loud thud behind her. Takao had fainted, and was now sprawled on the floor next to her and Akashi.

A few hours later, Akashi was laying out what was to come in the next few months as well as scheduling future appointments.

"You're not letting the Yubari's handle any of this, right?" asked Takao, leery to let her wife and child be in the hands of the base's two mad scientists.

"Just the lab work, don't worry. The experience with Enterprise and Yamato means that they aren't coming anywhere near your kid. Now, back to what to expect. You may start to have strange cravings, if you haven't already.." she stopped at Myoko's confused look. "What is it? Have you been having cravings?"

"I haven't, but Takao has."

"You don't think.." Takao trailed off.

"Well, there's only one way to be sure." said Akashi. "Back to the exam room."

An hour later, Akashi came back, folder in hand.

"Well?" asked Takao hesitantly.

"Well, I'm not sure how, but, it looks like the two of you will be having at least two bundles of joy in about six months."

"Seven months! That's not enough time! We got to tell our families, tell Admiral Goto, baby-proof our room, stock up supplies, and.." Takao was stopped when Myoko gently gripped her hand.

"I know, _saihai_ , I know. Relax. Everything's going to be alright, I promise."

Six months later

"So, any closer on how Myoko and Takao conceived?" asked Admiral Goto.

"Well, after months of testing, experiments, and frankly, praying, all we got is one word." said Akashi

"MSSB. We still have no clue how either Takao and Myoko or Yamato and Enterprise were able to have kids." Yubari's added.

"We had hoped that by being able to observe a pregnancy earlier along, we might find something we would have missed with either Yoshino or Hope, but aside from the fact that both their parents are female, they developed exactly like any normal human baby." the other Yubari finished.

"Honestly, that doesn't surprise me. So, how is the happy couple?"

Just then, Oyodo burst into Goto's office, breathless. "Akashi, Myoko's water just broke!"

"There's your answer, Admiral." said Akashi as she ran out the door.

A month later...

Myoko smiled as she rocked quietly in their bedroom, careful not to wake anyone. In the cradle next to her lay Ami and Makoto, her twins, sleeping soundly, while on the other side, Takao slept in their bed, exhausted from the previous day. And below in Myoko's arms lay Hotaru, who they had just brought home from the infirmary. Her lavender eyes gradually closed as she swayed in her mother's arms, and then Myoko gently laid her in the cradle with her sisters. As she snuggled next to Takao, Myoko thought about all that had happened over the previous months, and smiled as she let sleep take her.


	21. Rule 5971

Harder snuck around Yokosuka naval base engaging in her favorite past-time, trolling Japanese destroyers. It was time for the usual ASW exercises and it was up to Harder and *shudder* Mingo to serve as target ships. Of course, Harder had vigorously protested this duty but after the incident with a repair bucket, a chainsaw, and five ounces of nails she didn't really have a choice. Her hunt didn't get off to a good start when she found out that the target was Heywood L. Edwards. She didn't know what it was but she especially _detested_ that destroyer going full weeb. She decided to just settle for a death glare before Heywood turned around and said, "May I help you?"

Harder's response was to just run looking for her next target. She got her wish in the form of a bespectacled destroyer that was clearly a Yuugumo-class talking with Hatsuharu. Sometimes she really loved how the new shipgirl forms significantly simplified silhouette spotting, even if she _still_ couldn't tell the difference between Ikazuchi and Inazuma. The Yuugumo-class destroyer finished, "Th... Thanks. I'll... make sure to get this to the... commander." She then walked off to turn out all alone, perfect. Harder almost immediately jumped out at her only to be greeted by a screech and a 5-inch gun turret being swung at her nearly giving her a haircut and lobotomy. "Jesus!" Harder yelled, "What the hell!"

Okinami stuttered, "I'm... I'm sorry. You... caught me off guard. You must... you must be here for the... ASW practice. I was... kinda hoping to improve my aim. Never can... seem to hit my target."

Harder then recovered from her shock before saying, "Well, I look forward to seeing you try. I'm one of the best submarines out there, USS Harder. Also known as 'The Destroyer Killer'."

Okinami meekly smiled, "Well... I hope I can... wait... we've met before haven't we?"

Harder briefly thought about the fact that she had just been summoned before realizing the implications and grinning, "Make sure not to scream too loud when you remember 'kay?"

Okinami simply responded, "June 10, 1944. Tawi-Tawi. You were... that idiot that tried to torpedo Musashi."

Harder immediately lost her grin before stating, "Idiot?!"

"Sticking your... periscope up in calm seas and broad... daylight? I mean, come on!"

"You seem awfully confident for someone who got hit by two torpedoes."

"Are... are you kidding? Those... torpedoes were... too easy to avoid."

Harder met this revelation with confusion, "I swear I heard... what?"

"Honestly I... I don't know how you managed to... survive that depth charging."

"THOSE WERE DEPTH CHARGES?!" Harder practically screamed.

Okinami answered, "Yeah? I mean... if you insist on... attacking destroyers in perfect visibility, you'll just... get yourself sunk."

~o~

(Meanwhile in the Atlantic)

"Achoo," the sneeze reverberated through the darkness.

Dallas suddenly yelled, "What was that! Was that an enemy?!"

Stewart sheepishly said, "Sorry sis, someone must be talking about me."

~o~

Okinami waved her hands in front of Harder's face saying, "Hello? Are you... okay in there?"

The Gato-class submarine remained unresponsive as Okinami tried snapping her fingers in front of her face.

Okinami eventually sighed and said, "Ah... well... I can worry about it later."


	22. Rule 5977

_5977\. Swapping the PH Navy's Isokaze with our own is banned. I still question how their Isokaze is better at cooking than our own...or anyone for that matter.  
5977A. Also do not swap our Hiei with the PH one aswell. They are willing to lend them just for special Mess Hall Duty so please stop. We're already in Hot Water with them. Also Kongou was not Amuse._

It was a regular day at Corregidor Island Naval Base with the sun shining down, the sound of ships passing by in and out the Manila Bay and the buzzing military personnel and tourist within the island made it that way. It also means paper work is regular as well within the office of the Admiral Drake Knight the Officer in-charge of Corregidor Island... regularly large and over stack.

"Remind me who the fuck decided I would handle this base again?" He asked to no one in particular as he slam his head on a stack of unsigned requisition forms from Japan. "And who needs this much Tea? Or Coffee?"

"The British and the Americans sir." A female voice answered beside the admiral. USS Bataan, the Independence-class CVL named after Bataan Island or the more tragic event of the Bataan Death March a sore subject for her. And one of the few WWII based American Ship girl with Filipino Roots. "As for the first question, It's because you were chosen by the previous Admiral who ran this place."

"If I recalled correctly my last known affiliation is with the Army not the Navy. And I'm pretty sure only Naval Officers get to take charge of this places." Argued while signing another request form without bothering about its content details. He rather not know the implications of the uses of DD Holders for BB rigging.

"Hench the reason they gave you the rank Admiral after you got transferred." She countered while handling another form. This time coming from Corvettes assigned to Japan. "I also seemed to recall another Army Officer getting assigned to a Naval Base in Japan."

"They also have a Dog as an Admiral there, also a Bird, a Rabbit and a Cat. It's Japan Bataan, you rather not question those things when its in Japan, its better for your sanity that way. Heck there was also a Naval Base _**in**_ land."

"Still don't see why you can't be an Admiral."

"I can still not wrap my head around that the Navy actually agreed an Army Officer handling this Base. What's the real reason Bataan."

"Because no one want to handle the eccentricities of majority of the girls with the mountains of paper work all the while fighting on the front lines. That would break most people."

"But I'm not most people." He sighed accepting the fact that this wasn't something normal Admirals can handle. While he knew he was somewhat special case that doesn't mean we wasn't human. He still has nightmares of the Summer 2015 Operations. Damn that Anti Air Princess. "Anyway, how goes the repairs on the Bath house?"

Bataan grimace, her angelic face scrunch up clearly remember what happened a week ago when a Japanese Escort of Fleet Girls dock. While it was funny how the Corregidor assigned Isokaze reacted to her Japanese Escort counterpart. It was also funny how the Naval Base's Isokaze is a better cook than the Escort's... or any Isokazes for that matter.

What wasn't funny was the Bath House blowing up when someone installed Tentacle on the Main Pool which frighten quite a lot of ship girls... who also carried their rigging with them. That took a good chuck of their resources.

"The Bath House is almost complete and can now be use by the end of the week." She reported shaking the memory away. "Anyway, its almost Lunch time and I am sure you're already eager to get away from the office and paper work."

"Hurray!" The admiral cheered quickly tossing the form in hand to the approved bin without a second thought. He had a glance at it and wondered why the Japanese needed those scientific equipments but it's Japan and would rather leave it at that. "Whose on Mess Duty?"

"Isokaze and Hiei."

"Double Hurray!" He jump up grab his coat and was out the door. The Fil-Am CVL could only sigh at the admiral's antics when it comes to leaving his office. While she appreciate the work he deals with on the daily basis she cant help but wonder why he becomes a bit childish when it comes to exiting the cramp office space. Must be all the Files scattered all about. She shook her head before proceeding to follow her commander who was already down the hallway waiting for her.

-0-

The walk towards the Mess Hall was silent and eerie something that both the CVL and her Commander notice quite easily.

"Bataan is it me or is it just too quite?" Knight asked his secretary as he pulled out his standard Colt .45 side arm. It was too quite for his liking especially when his base was the liveliest when it comes to food more especially food cook by the best chefs they had which include Isokaze and Hiei. Despite common belief on most Naval Bases that those two were the worst cooks and should never step into the kitchen it was different for them. Whether by luck or skill Isokaze and Hiei that were assigned to the Island were herald as the best cooks the Navy could asked for which would mean that anyone would be eager to head down the Cafeteria for a bite of their meals.

"I really don't like this Commander." Bataan voiced out in worry.

"Your not the only one here." As they drew closer they could feel the heavy atmosphere and the smell of something foul coming from the doors that lead into the Mess Hall. "Ladies First?"

"Aren't you the one with the gun?"

"Aren't you the one who can take a hit?"

"Touche" she pointed before stepping up front first ready to open the doors at her commander's orders.

"Go!" With a burst of strength Bataan broke the door down and made a quick sweep of the large hall. What they saw was straight out of a warzone. Bodies lay scattered on the floor, both shipgirl and human.

"What the fuck happened here?" Bataan gasp as she made her way towards a group of fallen human personnel. A quick check for pulse was all she need to confirm that they were alive, unconscious but alive. "They're alive sir."

"Atleast that a good news. Still doesnt answer what happened here." the Commander took a quick look around, noticing quite a lot of plates were left unfinished with utensils scattered all about. He took a closer look at the nearest plate and found a barely eaten roast steak and and untouched rice. With a scrutinizing glare he notice that despite its normal appearance there is a heavy air surrounding the dish. With a practice swipe of the finger and quick taste he knew the dish was wrong. "Who puts cornstarch on a steak? Or Egg yolks for that matter?"

Then it all click.

"Bataan."

"Sir?"

"The Japanese Escort Fleet last week had a Hiei and Isokaze if I recalled correctly right?"

"Yes Sir. What does that have to..."

"You think what I'm thinking?"

"Just a hunch sir."

"Which Naval Base did they came from?"

"Yokosuka Naval Base led by Admiral Goto Sir."

"Contact Admiral Goto and tell him that I would like discuss certain matters with him."

"Anything else Sir?"

"Tell him that some of our girls got mixed in with his fleet and I wanted them back."

"Permission to Proceed Sir."

"Go."


	23. Rule 5978

5978\. Miss Jones what the hell did you do? - Minotaur  
5978a. Hey! I did nothing, she was already all but summoned – Megan  
5978b. *sighs* Everybody, please welcome _HMS Unicorn_ , the 1824 frigate and haunted ship - Commander Glenn

5979\. Please do not introduce any more haunted ships to the game Ghost Master; they're already scary enough without getting any more ideas  
5979a. HEY! – all haunted hull shipgirls

-

Leaning against the after railings of the ship, the young dark haired woman frowned slightly as she watched a group of lights dance in the air in a way that nothing she knew of could match.

" _What brings you here, city guardian?_ " the voice had her looking up to see a fairly young woman dressed like an old Victorian era sailor.

The young woman shrugged. "Watching some spooks playing around. My sister's over in Nova Scotia prepping for a run along the Arctic Circle to the States, I figured I'd see how many of the ghost stories about you were true." She looked over at the other female, offering a hand. "Megan Jones, Karas of Plymouth and twin sister to _HMS Zephyr_ of the Z-class destroyers. I presume you're _HMS Unicorn_."

Unicorn nodded one. " _Indeed, though you seem rather calm about seeing spirits. Many of those that walked my decks have more trouble with them._ " She shook the pro-offered hand.

Megan laughed. "These days anyone that gets spooked should really bury their heads, what with abyssals, kanmusu – that's others like you, though usually they're returnees rather than always been heres, supernatural weirdness, luck storms and I've no idea what else. Of course then there's the fact I deal with supernatural things every day in spite of trying to get through college." She paused, chewing her lip briefly. "I wonder if the college would accept a full write up on after death experiences from those that have been through it. I might have to talk to the other ghost ships around as well."

" _Even if they don't, I would be willing to. Many things have changed since I was built._ "

Nodding, Megan pushed off the railing. "It might be an interesting project, for those of you that are willing, to either write of your crews or of your experiences, though I know more than a few have rather nasty ones, they do say talking to people can help." She ducked as a cat-o'-nine-tails flew at her head and snorted. "Screw you too buddy."

Unicorn sighed, shaking her head. " _Walker… I don't know why, but he often feels the need to make himself known through violence._ " She looked at a point just beyond the stairs up to where they were and narrowed her eyes at her former captain. " _I honestly think he hates his station, particularly as I was never used to fight, only really to train because of the shift towards more stable steam powered hulls._ "

"Doesn't mean he should attack others though," Megan said, rolling her eyes as something crashed to the deck. "You do know that'd be coming out of your pay, right?" she asked the spirit.

After getting no response for several minutes bar the feeling someone was glaring at her, she shrugged and turned back to Unicorn. "Out of curiosity – and feel free to tell me to screw myself if you don't want to answer – but did you ever meet your carrier namesake?" she asked.

Unicorn shook her head. "Not really, though I heard she did her job well and stood for a fair time for a ship. My name is one the navy seems to like; they always seem to have one of us around, even if the last was gifted to the former French ice colony."

Megan frowned, going over what she knew of naval history. It had always been more Zephyr's thing than hers, hence why Zeph was studying it as a course while working on gaining her officer rank. " _HMCS Windsor_ , I think I met her one time, the Canadian navy changed her name when they took her in. She was the last ship one of our yards built until they finalised and started laying the keel of the Queen Elizabeth, the carrier version. I think Windsor's one of the steel hulls than managed to actually smack an abyssal out." She looked over at Unicorn, smiling slightly. "Hey if you're able to leave your hull for a bit, you want to get something to eat and maybe see some of the interesting things about the modern world?"

"I would like that, though I don't know if I can eat," replied Unicorn.

"Well, we can find out together."

*****

Unicorn frowned as she looked down at the screen in front of her. "What is the purpose of this game?" she asked, glancing back at Megan as chilling music wafted from the laptop's speakers.

Megan's grin was positively evil as she sat forwards. "To scare the ever loving hell out of everyone or send them complete insane in the membrane." She moved her hand towards the mouse. "Mind if I show you?"

A few clicks of the mouse brought them to the first level, using four of the possible ghosts or haunters to scare everyone out of a sorority house. Unicorn watched, somewhat in awe, as Megan set her team of four to release the level's captive ghost, Weather Witch, and start scaring the mortals with spiders, electricity and other things.

"How do you do things like this?"

"Eh," Megan shrugged, "People come up with ideas and ghosts have been around as long as man, someone decided to try setting things up so the player controls them." She looked over at Unicorn. "You want a go on it?" The answering grin was vicious.

*****

Two weeks later Unicorn cackled as a ghost hunting group ran screaming into the night. Okay, so she might have over done things a little with the walls running with blood or the ghostly explosions, but it was still fun to terrify others.

Turning back to her hull, she smirked, now, who among the other 'haunted hulls' would be awake at this hour to chat with and compare notes? Pulling a mobile phone out of her uniform pocket, she looked through the list as she made her way back onto her hull to try running another level.


	24. Rule 6004

_6004\. It's been finally Decided that any Personnel, Human or Shipgirl who breaks any of the Rules are to be deployed to Commander Reiji's Black Base for Basic Retraining. Seriously this took 6000+ Rules to finally be implemented._

*Ring...*

*...Ring...*

*...Rin-*

"What do you want? If this is some phone prank I'm going to hunt you down and kill you."

[Hello to you too. Reiji.]

"..."

"Oh, it's you."

[Haven't change much I see. Still causing quite a commotion.]

"What do you want. I'm busy."

[I heard what happened. How bad was it?]

"I'm talking to you aren't I?"

[That bad?]

"We'll lived. I''ve been through worst."

[Living through Ground Zero of a Nuke tend to do that to you. I don't even know what is worst than that... Nevermind I think I know a few things.]

"If your calling just for useless chatter I'm hanging up. I got more important matters to deal with."

[If your working to hide the fact you just disobeyed a direct order from your commanding officer and killed quite a few questionable friendlies don't bother. Word already got out. Why do you think I'm calling you now?]

"..."

[I heard quite a few chatter that some Naval Officers would like kick your ass out of the base or worst. And with the stunt you pulled they have quite a few reasons to just do so.]

"If they want this place so bad then they will have to go through me and my cold dead body."

[Yeah I like not to have a bloodbath on our hands here. Red doesn't exactly clean very well.]

"Get to your point."

[While the Japanese Navy want you to pay up for your transgression, The International Admirality Board has a few words with that.]

"And?"

[We are offering you to train some of the other admirals's Ship Girls for Basic Retraining in exchange we will convince the Japanese Government and Navy to overlook your disobedience and quite a few other stuff that you have broke both local and international.]

"What International Rules?"

[That Sniper Rifle shouldn't exist. Or those stim packs for that matter. Don't get me started on the Pile Bunker.]

"So either train your girls cause your lazy asses couldn't do it or I die."

[Nah, more like you get free Laborers for Reconstruction of your base. Feel free to be a slave driver for them. They could use some humbling.]

"How long would I be doing so?"

[Until your base is up and running to its full capacity. Atleast the trial would last until then. If it works you and the base might get relegated as a Training Base and would be remove from the frontlines.]

"And the girls?"

[That decision is all on them. Either stay with you once that does happen or get reassigned to a frontline base where manpower is needed. Knowing you I'm pretty sure they would choose the former rather than the latter.]

"What about pay?"

[Will discuss that at a later date. But here's a down payment for you...]

"What is it?"

[Someone knows the Re-class's real identity.]

"..."

[Its someone High Up. Atleast higher than me and has access to certain files. All I know is that person is well aware of the events all those years ago as well as the project you were involve in. And it's someone who knows how to create the Abyssal ships.]

"Where did you get this?"

[If your think its the Stepford Smiler then it isn't. He may be smart and conniving but I doubt he knows it. This person is someone that sits at the Board.]

"Do you any know this?"

[Human made Abyssals? Fought quite a few of them, mostly Wo-class or Ne-class. Never a Re-Class. As for who the person is then I dont have any clue. Your Guess is as Good as Mine.]

"But you have a guess?"

[...]

"Knight..."

[We're straying off topic here. I'll look into it but no promises.]

"Suit yourself, Dragon of the Hundred Isles."

[Haven't heard that monicker in a long time Demon of Ground Zero. So... What's it gonna be? Are you in or out?]

"Like I have choice in that matter."

[In all honesty, No you dont have a choice.]

"Che, Fine. I get it. I'll discipline your wayward shipgirls. No promises about them living it through though."

[Heh. You'd be surprise.]


	25. Rule 6054

_6054\. Parking your car inside the summoning room is now banned. We are still figuring it out how the fuck that happened._

 **Dnite77 said:**

 _6054A. Please Welcome Land Rover Isuzu and Sendai... Yes CarGirls have now been summoned... How is this possible?  
6054B. Apparently someone left the stereo on on one of the cars and was playing I Burn. Please Welcome USS Yang!Iowa. What have you people done?_

He felt is eyebrow twitch and an on coming headache coming his way as he continued to stare at the three fidgeting figures in front of him.

"How?" He asked to no one in particular. All he got was silence. No one wanted to answer.

"I asked again. How?"

"We summoned as per your order sir." Bataan replied ever so calmly. The Fil-Am Carrier kept her cool despite the unusual situation they were in.

"And?"

"We didnt expect that there was a Isuzu D-Max and a Sendai Pick Up inside the Summoning Room."

"And I asked again. How?"

"Umm... I don't know?"

Admiral Knight rub his forehead to keep the headache at bay as he once again look at two girls in question. Isuzu D-Max looks just like any IJN Isuzu you would encounter in any other naval bases. Except she was wearing a factory workers jumpsuit than her standard uniform. The same goes for Sendai Pick-up.

"So..." He began calling the attention of the two "CarGirls" his secretary had summoned. "You don't have any of the rigging of the standard Shipgirls?"

They nodded there head.

"Can't float either I take it."

They nodded.

"So your not Shipgirls then?"

Another nod.

"What can you do?"

"We are good at carrying stuff. Maybe help Ferry supplies within the base. We are far sturdier than your regular Logistics Personnel." Isuzu explained sheepishly unused to the attention they are getting.

That was an idea he mulled. It wasn't a bad idea either since he recalled that Logistics really needed more personnel and given that they aren't exactly squishy as regular personnel either which means they can carry the more heavier equipment and materials.

"Bataan, have them assigned to Logistics. They might be more useful there than here." He said looking at his secretary ship. "You girls follow her. Se would explain things in details as you walk."

With a quick nod the three of them left the room leaving the commander to address the other girl that was newly summoned. He turn to look at said woman.

Golden Blonde Mane, alluring purple eyes and a cocky smirk. He could feel the headache becoming much worst than he thought it would. She was wearing a yellow tank top under a blue naval coat, she was also wearing short shorts. Far too short for his opinion.

She had a striking resemblance to a character he had seen on the internet. He just wish he was wrong.

"And you are?"

"VNS Yang Xiao Long... or is it USS Iowa?" She introduce with a confident smirk before it fell and was replace with a confusing look. " I think the summoning cause me to have two separate memories."

He pulled out his phone and speed dialed a number.

"Bataan contact Pola and tell her I need the sweetest and strongest drink she has. I might need it."

It was too early for this shit.


	26. Rule 6060

_6060\. As of Now USS Yang!Iowa is not allowed to sortie or used her Rigging. We didnt know that Too Much Dakka Exist.  
6060A. Yang!Iowa can only sortie in case of Extreme Emergencies. Like "All Big 7 is not enough Dakka" Emergency.  
6060B. Henchforth The Yang Protocol on now created._

"What are we doing here again Commander?" Bataan asked turning her head towards her Admiral who was currently cursing the ocean waters in between biles of vomit. She wondered how the Navy actually accepting an Army Personnel to command them was beyond her. Especially when said Army Personnel is easily seasick.

They were currently at the front deck of the BRP Ramon Alcaraz one of the few active Corvettes of the PH Navy currently anchored at one of the many islets of Batanes at the tip of Luzon closes to international waters. Along with them were the Sub Chasers Negros Oriental, Negros Occidental and Bohol and the Battleships Yang!Iowa and Hiei. All of them currently in the waters patrolling near the Corvette.

"US is giving us shipgirls that we badly need at bases most especially with the Large Scale Summer Operations are just around the corner. Granted that there are conditions to it attach."

"And those conditions are?" She asked with peek curiosity. She wasn't surprise that the US always have string attach to their deals.

"Our Navy didn't say anything. Says it above my pay." He shrug never bother about such dealings. It came with the job after all, he learned not to question stuff that might bit him in the ass later on but what else was new.

"So who are we getting anyway?"

"Two CVs and Six Repair Ships." That got the Fil-Am Carrier's attention.

"CVs? Are you sure?"

"Two Essex Class Carriers CV-47 USS Philippine Sea and CV-32 USS Leyte along with Six Luzon Class Repair Ships." He recalled from yesterday's fax he got about the ships that are about to arrive. "To be honest with us having two more CVs we could actually improve our Air Power during Assault Operations."

"Why can't we just meet them when they arrive at base? Why the need to go out here in the first place?"

"It's been a while since we last sortied and its a good chance to see what Yang!Iowa can do." the Admiral explained breathing deeply to lessen the nausea that was coming back in full force. Just then the PA systems and alarms came to life.

[Admiral we need you in the bridge now.]

"Welp. Looks like we're about to get some action soon. Bataan get your rigging and gather the girls."

"Yes Commander." With that they went their separate ways.

-0-

"Commander on Deck!" a sailor announce as Admiral Knight entered the Bridge catching everyone's attention.

"At ease." Knight said calmly allowing the men and women to return to their post. "Captain what's the situation?"

"Sir, we just receive and SOS from the Fleet that we are suppose to meet. They are being attack by the Abyssals as we speak."

"Where are they now?"

"5 miles out sir."

"Bataan" Knight called out on the Com Lines connected directly towards the Girls out at sea.

"Yes Commander?"

"Send out your Planes ahead then follow suit along with Hiei and YangIowa, have the Sub Chaser pull back to us now."

"Very well Commander."

"Go."

-0-

Yang or was it Iowa? or as her admiral decided YangIowa was excited to say the least. It was the first time since she was summoned that she would be able to fight. Despite the conflicting and mixed memories within her there was one thing in common they share. Her thirst for battle.

Just thinking about firing her cannons at the enemy brought a manic grin on her face.

"YangIowa do you copy?" Her comms echoed out the familiar voice of her commander.

"Yeah I'm here Boss man. What's up?"

"There are multiple Allied Abyssals along with Friendly ShipGirls. Going to mark them now. So please pay attention to your IFF."

"Got it Boss man!"

"Ok you two the party's here. Fire at will!" Bataan bark as she launch another wave of Fighters. Hiei and Yang!Iowa complied firing their main cannons onto the oncoming hords of abyssals.

The explosions as the shells found their targets sent an excelerating feeling down Yang! Iowa's spine. But her joy died an early death as a retaliation strike came soon after. Barely missing her head... Her hair was another story.

A blond strand fell.

Purple turned Red.

-0-

Admiral Knight was speechless. He didn't know what to say as red dots that numbered in the hundreds rapidly disappear. It didn't help that a certain blond battleship's fire power was increasing by the second.

He should have expected this knowing where she came from.

"Captain"

"Yes Commander?"

"I didn't know too much Dakka exist"

"Want a drink?"

"I usually don't drink but I'm making an exception"


	27. Rule 6094

_6094\. The 10hr Kuma song is now banned from playing on the PA system. Not all people can listen to 10hrs of Kuma without having a mental break down or developing a Kuma verbal tic, Kuma.  
6094A. It does not work as a hypnotic device Kuma. But we are open for it to use as a Torture method.  
6094B. The Poi song is also banned.  
6094C. Don't you dare Atago!  
6094D. To the person who played the Daijobu song on loop on the Medbay Speakers please surrender yourself. The Doctors would like to have Words with you._

Today was suppose to be one of those calm days within the Corregidor Naval base. A day where military personnel milling about with their duties and tourist walk around doing what they do. Where ships come and go with supplies to be delivered to the different Naval Bases from different countries. Sadly today wasn't that kind of day.

Admiral Knight sighed and sank into his office chair after signing one of the many requisition forms that had just arrive from Japan. It was one of those days he hates most. Days where the Japanese Shipgirls are in his base after escorting one of their own. After the stunt they had pulled last time they came around it was understandable that he had put some form of surveillance just to avoid any commotions.

"What's wrong commander?" Bataan asked behind her own work desk signing one of the many stacks of local requisition papers from nearby PH Naval bases. Ever so thankful that she hadnt need to work on the international ones like her commander was doing. "Are they requesting something outrageous again?"

"I don't really care about what they want there I'm more worried about what those girls are doing here now." He answered while stamping an approval of Admiral Goto's request for more blue berries and tea bags...again. He had once wondered why a man can go through years worth of berries in just mere months but never asked. "I did sent out Bonifacio and Del Pilar to watch over them along with the PT Boats and Sub Chasers. It's just I know something is going to happen. What I don't know is if its a bad thing or good one."

"I'm pretty sure it wont be that bad." She said only to receive a dead pan stare from her commander.

"Really? Saying those words now? The last time they came here they swap our Isokaze and Hiei causing quite a commotion on the Medbay. I had to approve Katulungan's leave of absence after that just so that she won't be over work."

"It wasn't that bad. They sent them back after we called. They even apologized and gave them punishment."

"They blew up our Bath house. My wallet took a hit."

"They did pay us compensation."

"Which still went to the repairs. How the hell did they install those tentacles anyway?"

"We are still investigating on that one."

"Drop the investigation. I rather not know how they did it."

"And what do I tell the superiors?"

"Ship Girl Bullshit. The usual."

"Will they even buy it?"

"No. But they will look the other way. Best for their sanity not to question this things." He reason, signing the last of the forms on his table. "Welp, that's the last of them. I'm going to head out and see what those girls are up to."

"Should I come with you?" Bataan asked while she made to stand but was stop short when the man shook his head.

"I'll be fine. I would rather have you here just incase they try to sneak in and do something they'll regret."

"Very well commander." She nodded and went back to work, reading through the report files and siting of Abyssal activities. "Can you grab some Flan if you ever pass by the Mess Hall?"

"Yeah sure why not. I'll order enough for both of us." Knight acknowledge grabbing his coat and proceeded out the door. The moment he opened it he encountered a rather fidgeting Cutter-class BRP Andres Bonifacio.

"Co-Commander we got a problem." She said shyly not looking at the admiral directly. The situation didnt need to be explained given the blaring PA system across the hallways was telling enough.

"Let m guess... they hijack the PA Systems?" He asked rhetorically, she nodded causing him to sigh and rub his head to keep the on coming headache away.

"Bataan..."

"Way ahead of you."

-0-

BRP Del Pilar was in a panic she didnt know what to do. She was entrusted to keep watch over the visiting Japanese girls to avoid what had happen last time. They were able to keep watch the first few minutes noting no suspicious behavior atleast, then the next minute when they lowered their guard down they went off. They had scrambled to find them giving orders to the little Sub Chasers to sweep the hallways to no avail. That is until the PA systems came alive. And out came the noise.

It was funny at first. Impressive as well given that most of the lyrics was Kuma but had a catchy tune to it. Then it became annoying when it didnt stop the first five minutes. It became down right unbearable the next minutes. Bonifacio had suggested that she would get the commander while the rest of them surround the PA room and tell the Hijacking Ships to stop it before it got any worst.

It got worst. One of the personnel on duty at the tourist location had called in that the noise from PA systems had been getting under the skin of some tourist. She told the person that there was an anomaly with the room at the moment and asked that they do crowd control while they work on it. She could tell that the person on the other end didnt buy it but nonetheless complied with the order. She thank him for understanding.

"What the situation?" A voice snap her out of her thoughts. It was their commander arriving with his secretary and Bonfiacio in tow.

"Commander!" Del Pilar cheered before jumping up towards the commanding officer tears threatening to fall. "I tried- I tried to convince them to stop..." She sniffled "We tried everything short of breaking down the door sir."

"Then break it down." He ordered, patting the distraught cutter in comfort. Getting a nod from the CVL who made her way towards the barricade door. "Do it."

With a mighty kick the doors of the PA room flew out of its hinges to reveal the sights of a panic Kuma-class Kuma and Tama.

"Ehh... Kuma?"

[A whack in the Head later...]

"So what were you two doing at our PA room?" Knight asked looking down at the kneeling Kuma-class.

"We got a present from a friend back in Japan who gave us this CD.~kuma. I was too excited that I wanted to listen to it immediately~kuma. But I realized that I forgot my Player at my dorm room and the in-built PA we have werent design for CDs ~kuma." Kuma explained head bowed low.

"And you decided to play it on our PA systems?"

"It was an accident ~nya. We were only going to play it with in the PA room ~nya. It was by complete accident that we press the broadcast button ~nya."

"Fine. Your dismiss." With a sigh he wave them off. "I already contacted Admiral Goto about this incident and he will give you your just punishment for this. But make no mistake do it again and I will personally give you the punishment under our jurisdiction. Am I understood?"

"Yes Kumander/ Yes Nyamander!" With that they bolted out the door leaving Knight and his secretary alone.

"Well that went well. Don't you think commander?" Bataan sighed going back to her desk to work on her duties. She noted the silence he gave her and turned to see her commander looking at the disc silently and deep in thought. "Commander?"

"Hey Bataan. Do you remember the stubborn captive we have down at the holding cell?"

"The AA Princess? What about her?"

"Prep the interrogation room. I wanna try something out." He called out and with a quick step he was out the door leaving a bewildered CVL in his wake.

"Eh?"

-0-

[You... Will... Never ... Get anything... From... Me] A chained up Anti Air Hime muttered glaring at the person across her chained body.

"Oh, that's what I expect. This is just some spur of the moment idea I have." Admiral Knight smirk pulling out a worn out CD player. "If it works then good for me. If it doesn't then that's another failed information gathering technique."

[Ha...Ha... I like to see... you... try.]

"Good." He press play and the continues stream of Kuma flooded the room as the noise spilled from the surrounding speakers. "I'll leave this here."

[You... Bastard...]

"See you in ten hours."

[I will... get my... Revenge!]

10 hours later...

"Someones a lot chipper today." Bataan noted as she saw her commander skip towards their office. "Something good happened?"

"Well Good News or Bad News which one do you wanna hear first."

"The good news then."

"Good News is that AA Hime finally crack! And have spilled everything she could give."

"And the Bad News?"

"All Important Names and Information had been censored with Kuma verbal tic. Apparently 10 hrs of Kuma could be use as a potential Torture method. Or just give them a verbal tic. Or Both."

"That means?"

"Contact Goto or Reiji and send them what we got. Maybe they have a Kuma that can translate this."

"As you wish commander. Oh and before I forget. Honey..." That made the admiral pause. Bataan never say their nicknames or sweet names at work. Not unless it is something very urgent or jealousy at work.

"Yes Dear?"

"Why is the AA Princess sleeping in your lap?"

"Ahahaha... Long story?"

"You have 5 secs to run."

"Can I have 10 instead?"

"9"

"Welp... Fuck."


	28. Rule 6123

**6123\. Whoever left the puddle slimes in the baths, the shipgirls want a word with you. I'd start running now.**

There are a few things that are well documented about shipgirls, one is that class and mass tends to cause them to appear at certain ages with battleships and carriers generally appearing the oldest while destroyers and below or certain submarines appeared to be the youngest, usually between six and sixteen. It's also known that a lot of submarines tend towards more extreme personalities, often nymphomania, kleptomania and egomania among others. Of course, there are exceptions to known rules, particularly when other things play a part.

One such exception was the dark haired destroyer girl lounging on the surface of the Portsmouth baths, or at least the swimming baths close to Portsmouth's naval base. Stretching slightly, she frowned as her sonar fairy picked up two contacts closing on her position. Dropping her legs into the water, she frowned slightly, looking around the pool, noting the other girls hanging around the edges, mostly chatting to one another or in a couple of cases swimming laps in the roped off area.

Subsurface contacts?

Frowning, she focused on her sonar, trying to get a fix on where the contacts were in relation to her.

She was just starting to turn back towards where her sonar was telling her they were coming from when she felt two pairs of hands trying to grope her. Lashing out, she managed to grab the ears of the offending subs, digging her nails in and twisting as she hauled them up enough that their torsos were out of the water. "Iku and Harder, I might have known," she grumbled. "You know, I'm sure your girlfriends won't be too happy with you two groping someone that's not them, particularly since I'm a destroyer and everyone forgets some of us know about that side of things."

"W-well it can be hard to tell under water, Zenith" Harder managed around a pained grimace.

Zenith rolled her eyes at the pair of them. "IFF, periscope, I believe you two know how to use them bo—" she cut off as her surface radar picked up more contacts heading their way. A yelp and a screech from behind had her letting the two subs go and dropping herself into the water as the contacts moved, one jumping through the space her back had been to splatter itself into Iku's face, causing the sub to go over backwards, kicking out as she tried to clear her face.

Gasping out a stream of bubbles as one of Iku's feet slammed hard into her ribs, Zenith barely prevented herself from sucking in pool water as she kicked back to the surface. "What the fuck? Ngg… ow. That's going to leave a mark." She looked up as Iku and Harder managed to pry some sort of blue slime off the former's face, leaving it coated in goop, and toss the thing back into the water.

"What the hell is that thing?!" Iku yelled, spitting slime.

"Some sort of slime thing," Harder replied, grimacing at her hands.

Zenith shrugged, then blinked as she spotted some sort of crystal. "Well fuck," she deadpanned. "Yeah, it's a slime." Reaching out, she picked the crystal off the surface of the water and holding it in front of her. "We'd best get out of here, and make sure no other slimes are around. The last lot were a pain in the ass, especially the ones that ate the shit of two other types." She shrugged again as the other two looked at her, making her way towards the nearest pool edge.

A few minutes later, she and the rest of the shipgirls were in the locker room, where, fortunately, the slimes hadn't followed, not that they hadn't left an impression given that of the twenty or so girls, none were slime free.

"Alright," Iku said, using a towel to wipe the slime from her face. "What the fuck was that?"

"I'm… not entirely sure." Zenith sighed, rubbing a hand through her now gooped hair and grimacing at the feel of it. "Couple of weeks back someone managed to get slimes here, how I have no clue, but they did. Apart from the obvious issue," she waved her hand for emphasis, "there was another that was two fold. First, those slimes got hungry and raided stores, hence the resupply run for things not so easy to get in Europe, and when they ate, they crapped." She held up the crystal she had picked up earlier. "Vanguard thinks these things could be useful for something, but they also highlighted another issue. While the slimes ignored the shits their own type dropped fucking everywhere, they were plenty inclined to eat another type's. First one eaten resulted in the slimes more than quadrupling in size and gaining attributes from the type that dropped whatever shit they'd eaten, by the by, blue ones had spikes, which did a number on our docks, hence this." She waved around them. "Second shit they ate… things got messy. We're still not sure what happened but they went hyper aggressive on everything that moved. Fortunately they were killed by water, this lot aren't, which makes me wonder where they came from."

"Wherever it is, Commander Glenn is going to be looking into it, after she's sent some marines here with vacuums," one of the other girls said, putting away a mobile phone.

"Vacuums?"

"They suck the things up well enough. Glenn said we get to deal with whoever is responsible."

The grins the girl got in answer to that from the slimed shipgirls showed far too many teeth.


	29. Rule 6150

6150\. If someone writes a will, it does not mean they're dying!

Yokosuka.

"Tanikaze, could you run these down to Legal?" asked Niyodo, files in her hand.

"No problem." The destroyer said, thankful for something to do. She grabbed the files and rushed out the door.

"Slow down! You'll trip!" yelled Niyodo as she left.

 _Yeah, like that'll happen,_ thought Tanikaze.

Of course, Murphy loves his job, so less than five minutes later, Tanikaze, still emulating a speeding bullet, missed the sign warning that the floor was wet. Before she knew what was happening, she was on the ground and the papers in the files went flying. Quickly, she started gathering the papers and placing them back in the folders, idly noting them in her hands. There was the usual speeding ticket for Haruna, an insurance claim for a half-eaten Humvee, a will, and the weekly complaint about Iku-wait, a _will_? The destroyer backpedaled, grabbing the paper. Sure enough, printed out in bold letters at the top were the words: Last Will and Testament. She quickly put it back, shaking, not just because of the nature of the document, but also from the two names on the paper.  
 _  
The next day.  
_  
The door to the classroom swung open as the destroyers left for lunch, leaving a depressed looking Tanikaze and a concerned Ashigara.

"Tanikaze-chan, is everything alright?"

The destroyer looked at her teacher, stood up, hugged her, and burst into tears. "Sensei, I'm so sorry. I can't imagine what you're going through!"

"What I'm going through?" asked Ashigara as she gently held the crying destroyer. "I'm not sure I'm following."

"With what's happening to Myoko-san and Takao-san."

"What about them?"

Tanikaze looked up with watery eyes. "They're dying!"

"Huh?"

"I was bringing some files to the legal department when I dropped them, and while I was picking them up, I noticed one was their will."

Instead of the expected gasp, Tanikaze heard Ashigara _chuckle._ "Oh, sweetie. They're not dying."

"But they made a will!"

"That just means they're prepared in case something happens. A lot of the older girls have wills. Heck, I have one, and I intend to be around for a while." she said, smiling softly. 'Now, dry your tears. I want to see that smile of yours, okay?"

A few minutes later, Ashigara led Tanikaze to the mess hall, and after seeing the destroyer join her sisters, she went to a table and sat next to her boyfriend.

"Everything alright, love?" asked Captain Yonehara.

"Pretty sure. Say, where are Myoko and Takao? Shouldn't they be here already?"

"They'll be here in a few minutes. They had to make sure Ami and Hotaru wouldn't go ballistic with Nachi."

Sure enough, Myoko and Takao joined them, apologizing profusely for being late.

"No worries, sis. How are Nachi and the kids doing?"

"The kids are fine, and Nachi's terrified that Ami and Hotaru still hate her. What about the two of you?'

"Actually, now that you mention it. I had to convince one of my destroyer's that the two of you weren't dying."

"Huh?"

"Apparently Tanikaze caught a glimpse of your wills and assumed the worst." said Ashigara, chuckling, until she noticed that both of them looked pensive. "Wait, you guys aren't actually dying, are you?"

"No, it's just, well.." started Takao.

"We might as well tell them, Takao." said Myoko.

"Tell us what?" asked Sosuke.

"Well, since we had the kids, the two of us made some changes to our wills, to make sure they were taken care of." said Myoko.

"And one of those changes was deciding who would get custody if something happened to us." finished Takao.

Realization hit Ashigara and Sosuke immediately. "You mean?"

'Yes, if something happens to both me and Takao, the girls will be put into your custody. That is, if you want to. If you don't we can change..." said Takao, only for the two of them to cut her off.

"That won't be necessary." said Sosuke. "We'd be honored."

"I don't know what to say."

"Thank you, Ashigara, Sosuke." said Takao, smiling. "Now, after that, let's talk about something else. You two set a wedding date yet?"

Ashigara, Sosuke, and Myoko blushed so hard people swore they thought someone had placed three stoplights in the mess hall.


	30. Rule 6156

6156\. Anyone wanting to volunteer for babysitting must go through mental screening. Not because we question your sanity, but because we question whether or not you'll still _be_ sane afterwards.

Yokosuka.

"Are you sure you can handle this alone Maya? I can ask Tenryu if Hibiki or Inazuma could come over, just until Chokai and Haguro come back."

"Onee-chan, don't worry. Chokai and Haguro will be back in a little while, and the kids just fell asleep, right?" At Takao's nod, she continued. "Then I'll be fine. Now, you and Myoko go with Atago and Ashigara and relax."

"Alright, then" said Takao. "We should be back in a few hours."

Atago poked her head through the door. "Everybody ready?"

"Yes, Atago. I'll be right out."

"Now, sis, you go and have fun. I'm serious. Everything will be fine."

 _Ten minutes later...  
_  
Maya sat in the chair next to her nieces, reading. She looked up as a quiet noise came from the cradle. Ami was stirring, and Maya gently picked her up without disturbing her sisters. She rocked her gently for a few minutes, until she was firmly asleep again. Assuring herself that neither Makoto or Hotaru was about to follow their middle sibling's example, she ducked into the kitchen to grab some water. She had just gotten back when she stepped on a rattle that had been siting on the floor.

"Damn. What's that doing the.." Maya stopped when she heard another noise from the cradle. She looked down to see all three of her nieces wide awake, and staring at her.

"Hey kids, you didn't hear that, alright?" Maya said nervously. "And I'm guessing all three of you want to go back to sleep, right?"

Three sets of lavender eyes began blinking rapidly, and their mouths started to twitch.

 _Crap  
_  
"WAAAH!"

 _Meanwhile, at the mall...  
_  
"How do you think Maya's doing?" asked Myoko.

"Oh fine. Haguro and Chokai should be there by now." said Ashigara.

"Besides, what's the worst that could happen?" asked Atago.

 _The house  
_  
If it wasn't for the fact that her ears were on the verge of shattering, Maya would have been impressed by how well harmonized her nieces were. She also was coming to the conclusion that Takao and Myoko had a decided advantage when it came to calming their daughters. Since there were two of them, they actually had enough arms to hold them when all three were going ballistic. _Speaking of hands,_ thought Maya. _Where the heck are Chokai and Haguro?  
_

"So, when did the driver say that the replacement bus should get here?" asked Haguro.

"About an hour or so. Any luck calling Maya?"

"No service, on either your phone or mine."

"I hope she's managing well on her own."

Maya was fighting a losing battle. She'd barely be able to quiet two of them in her arms before the third would set them off again. Holding a wailing Makoto in one hand, she flipped through the set of instructions Takao had left her in case of an emergency. "Okay, okay. Let's see: In case all three start crying and don't stop, play music from CD player and rock cradle to the rhythm. Maybe that'll work."

She laid Makoto next to Ami and Hotaru, and started the player. The sounds of a soft lullaby filled the nursery, and Maya gently rocked the cradle along with it. Her nieces started to quiet down, and their eyelids fluttered as the music played on. As their eyes firmly closed, Maya dared to hope. And that was the exact moment that the old CD player let loose a blast of static, tuning out the lullaby and setting all three off again.

"Oh, come on!"

 _Meanwhile...  
_  
"What do you mean, another hour!?" asked Chokai.

"Yeah, what gives?" grumbled another passenger.

The beleaguered bus driver gripped his hat nervously. "Well, the bus coming to pick us up had a flat, and they don't have a spare, so the mechanic has to come from the depot to bring it."

Haguro rolled her eyes. "How many busses does your company have?"

"Uh, about a dozen or so, why?"

"Do any of them happen to work?"

The young driver shook his head. "Honestly, this bus is usually the reliable one."

Back at the house, Maya was at her wit's end. Nothing she had tried was working. She flipped to the last page of the instructions, hoping for a miracle. At the bottom of the page, there was a little note: _If you're reading this, than I'm not sure what's wrong. Hopefully by this time you've called us and we're on our way back, but if for some reason we can't be there, I only have one more idea on how to handle this. Go to the closet in the bedroom, and get my beret. It's fallen into the cradle a couple times, and each time it's managed to quiet them. How or why I don't know, and honestly, I have no clue if those other times were simply flukes, but if you're here, well, desperate times call for desperate measures.  
-Takao  
_  
"What do I got to lose?" asked Maya, as she rushed into the closet and grabbed her sister's blue beret, and gently put it in the cradle. It was like a switch had been pulled. Makoto, Ami, and Hotaru stopped crying and wiggled over to the beret, rested their heads against it, and fell asleep. Maya's bloodshot eye's twitched, and a mad laugh escaped her lips. "A hat? All I had to do was get a bloody hat?"

Shaking, she sat back down on the chair, and stared at the cradle.

An hour later, Chokai and Haguro finally made it back to the house and found a slightly disturbing sight. Makoto, Ami, and Hotaru were sleeping peacefully, clutching Takao's beret, but Maya was staring off into space. When they walked into the room, she stood up, walked out, and passed out, face down, on the couch.

When Takao, Myoko, and company came back, they found that Maya hadn't moved from the couch, where Chokai was watching her.

"What happened!?" asked Takao.

"Well, we got delayed on the bus, and if this baby monitor is accurate, then Mako, Ami, and Hotaru gave her a private concert." said Haguro as she walked out of the nursery.

"A hat. All it took was a bloody hat" said Maya from the couch.

Everyone in the room just stared at her, wondering what the heck she was talking about.

"What hat?" asked Ashigara.

"Haguro-chan, was my beret in the cradle?"

"Yes, how did you know?"

"That is the last resort when it comes to calming them..." before she could finish, the sounds of stirring could be heard over the baby monitor. Maya abruptly sat straight up, stared at the monitor, and after a few seconds, the stirring stopped, and she promptly collapsed back on to the couch.

Chokai was the first to speak afterwards. "Nee-san, why don't you and Myoko watch the kids while the four of us get Maya to the psychologist."


	31. Rule 6181

_6181\. The Philippine Army Special Forces Scout Rangers are allowing Shipgirls to join their Unit. Admiral Knight will personally train you in preparations for your Six months Training Regime.  
6181A. You lot are not ready - Admiral Knight former 1st. Lieutenant of the Army Scout Rangers._

USS Bataan was having the best day of her life. There was barely any paperwork, and with the recent new faces in the base work had been light and easy for her. And most of all she was able to spend her days off with her husband and commander without worrying too much. There was nothing that could sink her happiness now.

How wrong she was.

"I'm leaving for a few days." Admiral Knight announced just as she entered the office.

"Eh?" That caught her off guard that it took her a good few seconds to process what he just said. "What do you mean leaving for a few days?"

"Army HQ just called in and wanted me to come to HQ." Knight explained with a sigh as he twirled his office chair, eyes off in the distance. "Wonder what they want with me."

"Must be something important that they wanted you of all people." She guess as she walk towards her own table. "I'll prepare our bags for the trip."

"You're not coming Bataan." The silence that followed was deafening if it weren't for the cracking wood table.

"What? Why Not?" She asked surprise by the decision her husband made.

"Your taking charge of the base while I'm gone." He said. "Your the next officer in-charge here. And as much as I would love to bring you but there really isn't anyone here left if you go with me."

"Very Well. Then bring souvenirs or else your sleeping in the couch for a month." The sickly sweet smile meant she was serious with her threat Knight knew that much. And he really doesn't want to sleep on the couch.

"I Promised."

-0-

Two Days Later...

Camp Tecson

"Long time no see... Sir." Admiral Knight greeted. Gone was the white naval officer uniform of the Navy and was replace with a pure black BDU with two red patches. One was stitch on his left breast pocket was his name while the right one had his Army affiliation... The Scout Rangers.

"At ease Lieutenant." A man wearing light green GOA said with a smile as he stood up from his desk chair. This was Col. Gift Sumagaysay the current head of the Scout Rangers at the Camp. "It's been a while."

"How's life been treating you?" Knight smiled at his old friend. "Last I remembered you, you have a lot more hair in your head." He pointed at the higher officers balding head.

"Last I remembered you is that you don't drink." the Colonel countered pointing at the flask that was strap to his side. "Hope your wife knows about this."

"Touche." He laugh at the mans jab at his developing vice. "Also she joins me on the drinking when its too much even for her."

"That Bad?"

"I'm Drinking that's pretty much shows how bad thing I need to deal with on a regular basis." Knight said seriously without an ounce of jest. "Enough about what I deal with. What you need that your calling out to me?"

"Your Promotion"

"Rejected"

"I Reject that Rejection"

"I Reject that Rejection of my Rejection"

"Drake..."

"Fine." Knight raised his hands in surrender. Conceding to his fate. "And why the sudden promotion? And promotion to what exactly?"

"Let me answer your second question first." He said with a smile as he toss a document towards Knight who caught it without much trouble. In a swift motion he read through the files and his jaws drop.

"Promotion to Lieutenant Colonel?" He look up at his old friend to see if he was joking.

He wasn't.

"That's a lot of jumps there. What the deal?"

"SOCOM had approve that the Scout Rangers shall be accepting Shipgirls into their ranks. We are currently recruiting as we speak. If this succeeds then the Scout Ranger would be one of the few Army Units to have Shipgirls in their ranks."

"And how is this involve my promotion?" Then it dawned on him. "Oh..."

"You are to train the prospective girls for two weeks in preparations for the Six Month Training that Scout Rangers goes thru biannually." the Colonel announce. "As well as teach the Instructors on how to adjust the Course with regards to the Shipgirl's unusual standards for the lack of better term."

"Do I have a choice?"

"No. Not really."

He sighed.

"When do I start?"

-0-

A Few days later...

Yang!Iowa was excited, giddy, and happy. It was the day of the Initiation for Shipgirls to Enter the Scout Ranger Course. She was able to convince Bataan that since she was prohibited from sortieing since the incident at Batanes this was the next best thing that could alleviate her boredom. It took some time and persuasion but the Secretary and current temporary Commander gave in to her request. She was ever grateful to the CV.

She look around noteing that most if not all of the shipgirls that joined were Heavy Cruisers or above. There was the occasional Battleship here and there and the scares Carriers. But none of them were a Light Cruiser or even a Destroyer.

Her musing was cut short when a familiar man appear on stage. His unmistakable sharp dark eyes and the scar running below his left eye was something she can't forget easily. It was her Commander at Corregidor. She had heard from the smaller ships back at base that their Admiral was once and Army Officer she thought it was a joke. But to think she would see the day that he wore his old uniform was unbelievable. It didn't help that the black BDU suited him better than his Naval White Uniform. She thought that he was dare she says it... attractive.

She shook her head dispelling that particular thought knowing full well that Bataan had claimed the man infront of her. And she rather avoid that particular CV's wrath.

"Welcome to the First ever Shipgirl Scout Ranger Preparatory Training." He announce gaining everyone's attention. She noted that his eyes turned mischievous and taunting that stirred her competitive spirit ever so slightly.

Then he smirk that somehow pissed her off.

"Do Try To Keep Up" That was the last straw. She was going to prove to her commander that she deserve to enter the Scout Rangers.

Several Hours Later...

Yang!Iowa collapse in complete exhaustion. She didnt expect that this was going to happen. The none stop drills and exercises were taking a toll on her body. And she was a Battleship. All around her was no different either. The loud sounds of girls gasping for air was the only thing she could hear. She also noted that there was a lot fewer of them now compared to when they started. They were dropping like flies and this was just the first day! He look forward to their instructors who were with them through out the ordeal and had to give her respects to them. Even with all that running not one of them were gasping like a fish and sweating profusely.

Then she saw her commander looking at the collapse form of the shipgirls. Smirk Smugly and said.

"You Girls aren't Ready Yet."

If only her Commander would wipe his smirk away. This would make thing a lot more easier.


	32. Rule 6186

6186\. Shoukaku, Akagi, while we get why you did it, there is a better way of dealing with overzealous anime fans(sleazes), than kicking them in the nuts and bonking them on the head with your staff.

Yokosuka.

"Well girls, it's that time of the year again." said Akagi in between mouthfuls.

"Ah, Comic-con. A world of fantasy. mystery, and intrigue. Oh, I have awaited long for this day!" sighed Soryu, gasping for effect.

"Sis, what are you doing? Trying for an Oscar?" joked Hiryu.

As the laughter subsided, Akagi cleared her throat. "Now then, since comic-con is in two weeks, now's the time to pick out what anime we'll go as."

Knowing the inevitable, Shoukaku sipped her water as she counted down.

 _Three, Two, One.._

"Sword Art Online!" declared Zuikaku.

"Fairy Tail! "countered Hiryu.

"Naruto!" chimed in Soryu.

"Space Carrier Blue Noah!" finished Kaga.

"Girls, girls, girls! Calm down." interrupted Akagi. "Now, we are all civilized carriers here, and fear not, I've come up with a way to decide which anime to pick without resorting to physical violence. Ryujo, could I see your hat for a moment?"

"Sure."

Akagi put the hat down on the table, and took out a handful of sticky notes. "Everyone, take one of these, and write out what anime you want. Then, put it in Ryujo's hat. We'll shake them up, and then I'll draw one, and that'll be the show we go with. Alright?"

Everyone nodded, and the notes were quickly put into the hat. Akagi shook it lightly, and then reached in and grabbed one.

"And, the anime for this year is," Akagi paused, examining the paper. "Sailor Moon."

" **YES!** " yelled Shoukaku. "Dibs on Pluto!"

Comic-Con.

"We're here!" said Shoukaku, practically skipping off the bus.

"I don't think I've ever seen Shoukaku-san look so, so.." began Kaga.

"Flighty?" asked Hiryu.

"Giddy?" said Zuikaku.

"Cute?" whispered Akagi.

"Enthusiastic." finished Kaga.

"It's too bad that Unryu-san and Amagi-san couldn't join us." said Ryujo.

"Oh, yes. They did look good as Uranus and Neptune." replied Taiho.

"C'mon, slowpokes. Let's go!" said Shoukaku.

A Few hours later..

"Hey, Taiho-chan. Look at this." said Ryujo, pointing to the sign above one of the small auditoriums.

"The Merits of Carriers and Fighter-craft in Void Combat." Hmm, sounds interesting." Taiho paused, searching for someone. "Onee-sama, me and Ryujo-chan are going to watch that presentation."

"Okay, you two have fun." said Shoukaku, looking up from the Star Trek books she and Akagi were perusing. "We'll be right here when it's over."

After the two of them got in line, a man behind them noticed just how short their costumes were. He inched closer, until he was right behind them.

Taiho felt the man's breath on her neck, and as the line started and stopped, his hand touch her back, before moving downwards. She spun around to confront him, but before she could say anything, tow pairs of hands grabbed him by the scruff of his neck and dragged him away.

A few seconds later, the man felt the hands on him spin him around, making him come face to face with Shoukaku and Akagi, looking absolutely livid.

"Just what do you think you were going to do with that young lady back there?" asked Shoukaku, visibly trying to hold her anger in check.

"I was just going to ask her if she wanted to come with me and have a good time." said the man, slurring, and both Kanmusu could smell he unmistakable stench of alcohol.

"Ah, so you just wanted a "Good time"?" asked Shoukaku. At the man's shaky acknowledgment, she continued. "Well then, Akagi-san. Let's show this man a good time."

Akagi smiled, and taking careful aim, nailed the man in the groin with her high heels. The sleaze had no time to react before Shoukaku's Garnet Rod slammed down on his forehead.

As the man fell to the ground in a daze, Shoukaku spoke again. "Hopefully that'll teach you to keep your hands to yourself."


	33. Rule 6194

_6194\. Corregidor Island is Haunted. We have Curfew for a good reason. Hunt Ghost at your own risk.  
6194A. If you see a person wearing a white lab coat in the MedBay that's BRP Hospital ng Katulungan doing her night rounds. Please don't scream and throw Holy Water at her.  
6194B. And what about the Nurses roaming around at night? - BRP Andres Bonifacio  
6194C. We dont have Nurses doing Night Rounds. - BRP Hospital ng Katulungan  
6194D. Ignore the Gun fire sounds at night. The marching one as well. Heck Ignore anything that sounds at night that isn't an alarm. Scratch that, ignore the alarms until I say so. - Admiral Knight_

I bit back a yawn as I stretch my arms out hearing the satisfying pops it made. I took a glance at the office clock above the door an notice it was already past midnight.

It was way past Curfew that I had set up. That can't be good. I glace at the mounting amount of backlog paperwork, approval sheets and documents and contemplated if I should just do an all-nighter or make a mad dash towards my bedroom. The noise outside the office was all I need to know what my decision. Fuck Running.

I sighed as I regret not putting said bedroom next to the office and instead opted for it to be with the Officers Barracks. I wish I could smack my younger self for that stupid decision. With a deep breath and a shake of the head just to remove any drowsiness I went back to my work.

That was the plan anyway.

My work was cut short when I heard the door burst open and entered a rather paled face USS Leyte. Her natural brown hair was disheveled and she was gasping for breath, her dark brown eyes were dilating in fear. Her attire wasn't safe either, coconut print PJ had her first two buttons unbutton revealing a nice view of her cleavage to make matters worst she wasnt even wearing any underwear. I just hope Bataan won't hear about this or I would be dead...or worst.

"Morning to you too Leyte." I greeted the frightened carrier. "What brings you here this morning."

"Admiral?" She asked voice quivering with a hint of disbelief mixed with it. Can't say I blame her if she just sprinted down the hall ways like that.

"The one and only." I saved my work and shut down my PC I was pretty sure I wont be getting anymore work done now. "I think I made it clear that 2200hrs was the Curfew for this base."

"Sorry Admiral." She bowed in apology and I averted my eyes. This was not the time for my hormones to be active. I have a wife for crying out loud. "It's just that I was hungry and wanted to have a light snack."

"Wasn't there a Vending machine in your Barracks?" I asked knowing that there was no need to run in the administrative wing for a light snack even if the Mess Hall was located here. There are Vending machines located around the base with each barracks to have atleast one. "Also..." I pointed at her chest to which she caught and with a wild blush and a silent apology she close it properly.

"The vending machine ran out of stock and the closes one was the one in the Admin Wing." She explained albeit embarrassingly given the crimson hue on her cheeks were any indication. I need to note that down that some machine need a refill. "And when I was near the Admin Wing..." She hesitated her white skin becoming even more whiter... that wasn't normal.

"Let me guess... You heard noises?" She nodded not trusting on her voice at the moment.

"Screams and Wails?"

Another nod.

"Gun Fire and Explosions"

Another nod.

"Crying and Moaning?"

Another one. Huh, he didnt hear any of the crying and moaning. I wonder which area is that coming from.

"Then you saw things." I continued the frantic nods she was giving me was all the thing I need to know.

"Yes Commander. People in old uniforms both Japanese and American...they were darting across the hallways..." She cut her voice was trembling and hands shaking. I knew enough to know what she saw.

"That's enough Leyte. I know what you saw." I stood up and made my way towards the fridge that was in my office, opened it up and grab two bottle of cold chocolate drink. "There's a reason why we have Curfew here. After all this base is Haunted."

"Haunted!?" The surprise look on her face was kinda funny and cute at the same time. Then her color went even a tad more paler.

"This is an Old Military Base since World War 2. Can't say I'm surprise that there would be ghost lurking around at night." I said opening the bottle in my hand before giving one to the paling Carrier. She drank it down in a single motion. "Only a few number of personnel are allowed to wander around at night. That includes me the patrol guards above ground and Katulungan who should be patrolling the MedBay."

"Sir can I request something from you?"

"Sure go ahead."

"Can I sleep here for the night."

"Take the couch."

"Thank you Sir... And good morning."

And with that the poor carrier went to sleep in an instant. Then again I was sure she was tired with all the running since for one reason or another the Hallways changes at night. Damn Ghost likes to play around and make the Hallways like a maze.

I sighed as I turn towards the wide open door way and eyed the pale and bloody faces that were looking back at me.

It was damn too early for this.

"Shoo, Get away."


	34. Rule 6199

6199\. Ooyodo, Niyodo, get some sleep. While we get that Kanmusu have much more stamina than normal humans, pulling thirty all-nighters in a row is way too much.  
6199a. "But, but, the reports!" Niyodo.  
6199b. "There's too much to do. We have to file inventory, logs, and catch up on the List!' Ooyodo.  
6199c. GET SOME SLEEP!

Yokosuka.

Goto leaned back in his chair, smiling. After spending the good part of a month in Tokyo dealing with the Diet and Assembly, it felt good to be back home.

"Admiral! You're back!" a familiar voice echoed through his office. Goto had just enough time to put his tea down before a certain fast battleship slammed him to the ground.

"Hello Kongou, I take it you missed me?" he asked.

"Of course not. I'm just tackling you for the heck of it." she laughed. "Really, darling, you should know the answer to that by now. It's a good thing you're back, I was at my wit's end."

"Really?" he asked suggestively. "I guess I'll have to make it up to you tonight."

She blinked at the statement. "Oh, not that, silly. It's our resident workaholics."

"What's wrong with Ooyodo and Niyodo?"

The two of them stood up, and Kongou took his hand. "It would be better if I showed you."

Soon, they were at the secretaries' office. Goto opened the door and peaked inside. Both Ooyodo and Niyodo were staring at their computers, typing and sipping from their prized 100 ounce coffee mugs. _Nothing odd there,_ he thought. _But, they might want to fix their make up. That eye shadow's a little too muc-wait, that's not make up._ He looked to Kongou for an explanation.

"You remember that glitch in the network the day you left?" she asked.

"The one that the I.T guy wasn't anything to worry about? Yes, why?"

"Turns out that it actually was something to be worried about. It messed up about a week's worth of data, so those two have been pulling all-nighters to catch up."

"How many all-nighters?"

"Since the day you left. Every time someone's tried to stop them, they went Abyssal."

Goto looked thoughtful as he glanced back into the office. "Is the Wasp still in port?"

"Yes, why?" asked Kongou.

"Tell the captain of the Wasp that I need his best marksman over here now. I need to talk with Akashi and the Yubaris'."

A hour later, both secretaries were still in their office, tuning out everything aside from their work. That being the case, the first inking either had of trouble was the window shattering. Ooyodo glanced up just in time to see her sister fall out of her chair before she felt a slight prick in her arm. She was unconscious in seconds.

Outside the office, Goto and Kongou were talking with Akashi while others hauled the unconscious light cruisers to their room. "Are you sure that they'll stay asleep?"

"Definitely. There was enough anesthetic in those darts to knock out a battleship for a week, and now that they are actually asleep, the exhaustion will keep them that way." said Akashi.

"Good."

A Month later...

Goto and Akashi eyed the light cruisers in front of them. 'Are the two of you sure you're ready to return to duty?" asked Goto.

"Yes, sir. Thanks to those darts, me and my sister are fully rested, and now we're ready to go back to work." said Ooyodo.

"Well, you got enough rest, that's for sure. However," said Akashi as she took their vitals."what exactly have the two of you had to eat since waking up?"

"Uh, we're not hungry, Akashi." said Niyodo.

"Well, too bad. The two of you have been asleep for a month and a half, and the previous month your only nourishment consisted of coffee. Before either of you are cleared for duty, you're both going to the mess hall, and you're staying there until you've cleaned the place out. Is that clear?" said Akashi.

Both girls looked towards the admiral. "Sir?"

"Sorry girls, but when it comes to your health, Akashi out-ranks me."

"Ooyodo, Niyodo, if the two of you go to the mess hall, I'll make sure that the Yubaris' don't attempt any experiments for a month."

Before Akashi could say anything else, the two light cruisers bolted out the door, heading for the mess hall.

"How did you do that?" asked Goto in wonder.

Akashi smiled. "Easy. Want to get two workaholics to stop working? Take away the cause of most of their work."


	35. Rule 6209

_6209\. To all Frontline Naval Bases. The Navy Supply Depot Bases are not your All in One Super Market! This Requisition Forms are getting way out of hand!  
6209A. While I don't bother reading those forms before approving them it's causing my personnel to work overtime to the death. -Admiral Knight_

Yang!Iowa could only stare at the sight in front of her. What once was her admiral's clean office was now a chaos of over flooded papers that was neck deep. Atleast thats what she taught since she couldn't even get a glimpse of her Admiral anywhere. Then a mess of black hair poke out.

"I know that Death by a thousand papercut exist but this is too much." Knight groaned as he pulled himself out of the ocean of paper. He notice the open door and saw Yang!Iowa. "Please tell me it's not more paperwork." He whined.

"Actually Boss man. Isokaze just wanted to call you for Lunch." Four more heads poke out of the white ocean. It was Leyte, Bataan and Philippine Sea as well as the now allied AA Hime. They were as disheveled as the admiral from all the paper work.

"Its that time already?" He look up towards the clock and saw that it was indeed noon. "Let's take a break girls."

On cue the other four sighed and swam. SWAM! out towards the door. And just as the Admiral followed Isuzu and Sendai showed up.

"Commander we got new forms that need approval!" Isuzu called in a panic. Knight glance at the doorway and paused. Then his face paled. Behind the girls were not just one, not just two but a dozen cart full of request forms.

Yang!Iowa saw her commander's eyes became distant and hollowed. They all saw it. The he close his eyes and took a deep breath then dive back in the ocean of paper.

He didnt rise after a minute. At the five minute mark Bataan was about to dive back to get her husband but was stop when he himself emerge from the mess a phone in hand. A very bright and happy smile on his face. That put off all of them.

With a chirp of thanks Knight toss the phone back in the sea of black and white and turned towards the assemble girls and personnel.

"Pack your Bags." He said with cheery tone and made his way towards the Mess Hall. They were still in place and no one dared move to follow. When he noticed he turn around with a questioning look.

That snap Leyte out of her stupor. "Forgive me commander for asking but. What do you mean pack our bags?"

"It means we are going on a Vacation everyone. Tell all the personnel that the base would be close for the next few days. And put a sign that tourist area is close while were at it."

"And the paper work?"

"Fuck the paper work. I'm not masochistic enough to handle _that_." Then his eyes bright up as an idea stuck his head. The cold smirk he had sent shivers to everyone present. "But I know who is."

"And where are we going exactly."

"Disney Land."

The roaring cheers shook the Naval Base.

-0-

Admiral Darren knew he was a Masochist at heart. He enjoyed being abused by his girls. It was heaven for him. But he had limits too.

His eyes twitch as he oversaw trucks after trucks of paperwork that was being sent to his Naval base.

He had receive a note from the first truck that arrived that had only two words, a smiley face and a name.

Good Luck - Admiral/Lt. Col. Knight

It read.

"That Bastard!"


	36. Rule 6213

_6213\. To the people who tried Summoning at Fort Drum the admiral would like to have words with you.  
6213A. Please welcome Fort Drum the Concrete Battleship! The First Installation type ShipGirl.  
6213B. How the fuck did they do it? You know what! I rather not know. I've seen enough Magical Shipgirl Bullshit that I rather not know how. - Admiral Knight._

"Hey Boss Man!" I heard someone called out my attention and saw Yang!Iowa approaching. We were all in Disney Land Japan and by we I meant every single personnel and shipgirl under my command at Corregidor Naval Base and their family. I had manage to reserve the entire theme park for the day for ourselves. Perks of having a high rank in both the navy and army.

"What's up?" I asked while glancing at Bataan and Leyte who were rounding the smaller girls at the more child friendly rides. They were fine I thought before fully focusing on the battleship.

"Well some of the men at Logistics are quite worried if they should be here. I mean they are thankful for the break and all expense paid trip but they worried about the Naval Base not being tended to."

"Tell them not to worry about it that much." I waved the worries with a smile. "Before we left I did call in favors to watch the Base for the duration of our vacation."

"And who are they? If you don't mind me asking Boss Man."

I smiled.

"A Few Friends."

-0-

Colonel Gift Sumagaysay sighed as he stack the last of the papers on top of his friends desk. It had been a hectic few days since he and his men arrived. Recalling the time they arrived and saw the entirety of the Admiral's Office was a sea of paper. He swore he could swim in it.

No wonder his friend wanted to leave for a vacation. The amount of papers was staggering. Could have killed anyone else. He prayed to the person who had to receive the load his condolence.

Now with most if not all the clutter was cleaned and organized the colonel finally had time to look around the more important documents he has allowed access. The Shipgirl Rooster.

It took a good few minutes for him to find it among the books lining his friends shelf but he found it.

What he found was impressive. Each girls in the book had a list of major sorties and achievements under their name. Various notes both hand written and printed adorn some pages. But there was something worrying. Most of the list consist of Shipgirls who were either Destroyer or smaller. Heck his friend only had a single Heavy Cruiser and Three Carriers and only one of them had a very impressive record!

He then noted that there were only two Battleships in the rooster. Hiei and Yang!Iowa and one of the two had a note that says sortieing was forbidden unless in extreme emergencies.

He decided his friend needs another Battleship.

"Let's summon a Battleship!" That got the attention of the soldiers in the room. They glance at one another unsure as what their officer's sudden outburst.

"Summon Sir?" One of them asked hesitantly.

"You heard me right. This base needs more Fire Power what more than another battleship!"

"Aren't we not allowed to used the Summoning Chamber?"

"We don't need to summon it from the Summoning Chamber! We can summon it else where."

They didnt like this plan. But they didnt have the power to say otherwise.

"Wasn't there that 'Concrete Battleship'? I forgot the name... Fort Bass? For Cymbals?"

"Fort Drum" Another soldier supplied before getting elbowed by his fellow. It was too late.

"Thats IT!" he pointed at the soldier and laugh. "Prep the boats and get some resources! We are going to Fort Drum." And with a spring in his step the colonel left the office.

The soldiers sighed before they made to follow. They all knew this was going to be messy.

-0-

A Few Hours Later at Fort Drum...

It took a good few minutes for them to convince the remaining Faeries at the arsenal to allow them to summon at Fort Drum but they somehow succeeded in it.

With the circle drawn and the resources in place they had only on thing left to do. Summon a Battleship.

"So I'm just going to stretch my hand and focus on the resources and shout summon?" the colonel asked of the faeries that came with them. She nodded and gave a thumps up. It was close to affirmation he could get.

"Then lets do this!" He exclaimed before focusing everything he has on the gathered pile. He was picturing it. An image was coming into his head. And with a deep breath he bellowed.

"SUMMON!"

There was flash of blinding light. It dazed the gathered soldiers. Spots where in their vision. And as the light dissipated.

They had done it.

Silver hair flowing in the wind.

Icy blue eyes staring back at them with pride.

A black BDU akin to their own.

And a rigging of three 16 inch guns ready to unload against the enemy.

With a confident smirk she introduce herself.

"I am USS Fort Drum. Tell me. Are you my Master?"

The Colonel couldn't be more proud.

...

Somewhere in Disney Land, Admiral Knight had the sudden urge to hunt someone down and kill.

No one bother why he had a grim face for the rest of the day. They didnt bother since he manage to toss Yang!Iowa of all people into submission.


	37. Rule 6238

**6238\. Don't disparage the Ko-Hyouteki fairies. They have to go through a lot  
**  
Lieutenant Naoji Iwasa used his stubby little arms and small periscope to guide his midget submarine into the path of the large (to him) I-class destroyer. He soon became satisfied with his calculations and braced for impact just before his midget sub shook with a satisfying *THUNK*. With rehearsed quickness he pulled the quick-release for his canopy, unbuckled his harness, and jumped out hoping to the Gods that the drag of the water would clear him behind the Abyssal destroyer before the timed explosive detonated. He was relieved to clear the water long enough to see his midget sub detonate nearly breaking the destroyer clean in two.

Now the rough part, Iwasa always went into these engagements with a life vest but that only went so far and despite all of those statistics about lack of fatalities to sharks, he knew full well that they always ate well during a naval war. He was soon relieved to find that his inflatable life raft had survived the collision and wasted no time in pulling the quick-release to the air canister. In what he was sure to look like a rather comical display to normal-sized humans, he floundered and struggled to get his tiny, stubby body into the raft before eventually collapsing inside feeling confident that he was out of danger for now. He then searched all over his surroundings to find the emergency beacon that the Yuubaris had given him ever grateful for the miracle of modern electronics but hoping against hope that the Abyssals didn't triangulate the signal. He then settled down waiting for any sort of lift out.

About a day later, he was greeted by the sight of a nearby island. Weighing the advantage of getting nearby food and water against the all-too-likely possibility that it was occupied by the Abyssals, he let out a resigned "Desu..." and started paddling toward it. After what seemed like an eternity, he made landfall and staggered out of the life raft weakly gripping his emergency beacon. He stumbled into the nearby jungle staying in the foliage until he saw a bunch of ghost-like fairies nearby with an unsettling miasma wafting from them. One of them said to the other, "Grargh. Grargh grargh grargh grargh!" to receive the response, "Grargh. Grargh grargh!" This didn't feel right. Every bone in Iwasa's body was telling him that he was a disgrace to the emperor for not charging out there screaming at the top his lungs and hoping to take as many Abyssal fairies with him before he went down but he knew full well that the emperor had changed his ideas significantly since...

His ideas were interrupted when an Abyssal fairy turned toward him and said, "Grargh?" Iwasa dared not breathe as the fairy walked slowly towards him closer and closer. He scrunched tighter and tighter into a ball when the fairy peeked into the frond he was hiding in praying to whatever gods were out there that he wouldn't get caught. Eventually, the Abyssal fairy let out a resigned, "Grargh..." before returning to patrol with his buddies. Iwasa let out a sigh of relief as he trudged out into the jungle in search of any resemblance of food or water. His search paid off when he ran across a coconut broken in two on the ground. He scrambled up the side of the shell and slipped over the side sliding down into the basin of coconut milk. He then cupped his hands in the comparatively deep lake and brought the sweet nectar of life to his lips. Iwasa took a few more sips then nibbled on the inside of the coconut until he had his fill. He then scrambled right back out and decided to make his way back to the emergency beacon. On his way there, he was tackled with a sudden, "Grargh!" All Iwasa knew for the next 15 seconds was fists and elbows until he managed to shove the Abyssal fairy away and draw his katana cutting deep into the enemy fairy's chest causing to it stumble back confused. Iwasa then brought his katana down on the Abyssal fairy's shoulder causing it to give a pained, "Grarghl," and drop down in a pool of its own blood. Iwasa alertly looked around to see if that fairy had any friends before cleaning off his katana and re-sheathing it. Full of jitters, he found his way back to the emergency beacon where he settled into what looked like was going to be a sleepless night.

As the sun set behind the horizon, Iwasa sang a few songs to himself when he heard a soft, "Yep!" from the nearby foliage. He walked off to investigate and found a friendly fairy urging him to follow, "Yep!" Iwasa fell on his saviour letting out a relieved, "Desu!" but the fairy just urgently stated, "Yep!" as he jerked his head off nearby. Iwasa nodded, "Desu," then looked toward the emergency beacon before asking an uncertain, "Desu?" The other fairy just assured him, "Yep!" before scrambling off. Iwasa followed his new friend to the shore where he saw an American subgirl with the numbers "195" printed on the shoulder of her swimsuit.

Sealion looked at the Japanese fairy scrambling toward her and said, "Hey little guy! You're a long way from home aren't you?" She picked up Iwasa and deposited him down her swimsuit so he could climb into her hull. Don't ask him how, he had done that countless times throughout the Abyssal War and he _still_ couldn't figure out how it was supposed to work.

~o~

Based at Yokosuka Naval Base, Lieutenant Iwasa settled into a small mousehole in Kitakami's room wanting nothing more than catch some extra sleep when a nearby conversation caught his attention.

Petty Officer Shotaro shouted, "...a fucking disgrace! You're telling me nearly 75% of your mini-sub pilots can't sortie because they don't feel like it?!"

Kitakami replied, "It's called 'psychiatric recuperation time'. Get it right."

Shotaro just burst out, "Same difference! We have to keep up a high operational tempo to clear out the Abyssal anchorage but can't because those pussies are too lazy to... SWEET MOTHER OF FUCK MY FACE!"

Kitakami stared in shock as one her fairies let out a shrill "DESUUUUUUU!" and launched into a flurry of kicks and punches all over Petty Officer Shotaro's head. "Wow," she quipped, "Pick on someone your own size!"


	38. Rule 6280

6280\. Fubuki, no more playing matchmaker. It's not that it went badly, in fact the couple is very happy you brought them together, but now there's a bunch of other girls who want your help.

Yokosuka.

Fubuki briefly wondered what she was doing with her life. She prided herself on her ability to not be dragged in on to the hair-brained ideas of her comrades, and yet, here she was, hiding in a bush, spying on Akagi. Why?

 _Love_ , she thought.

Ever since Akagi had switched rooms to allow Zuikaku to be with her wife, she'd had a longing in her eyes. Fubuki had at first chalked it up to simply being separated from her best friend for the first time since her summoning, but soon she realized it was longing for something else. Or, more specifically, some _one_ else. After that, it had become clear that both Akagi and her crush had feelings for each other, and that both were terrified of trying to act on those feelings.

"Bucky, why are you in a bush?" a voice brought her back to reality and caused her to jump.

"Kongou-san!?" she stammered. "What are you doing here?"

"Well, I was going to enjoy lunch with Haruna when I noticed a foot sticking out from a bush." she said, grinning. 'And now that I know that you aren't Iku or some Abyssal spy, I'm more or less inclined to leave you alone. Provided you tell me what are you doing."

"Well, I'm kinda spying on Akagi-san so I can figure out how to get her and her crush together."

Kongou blinked, tears of joy beginning to form. "Oh, my little Bucky's playing cupid!"

"Kongou-san! I'm still hiding!" said Fubuki, hoping nobody was paying attention to the battleship.

"Oops, sorry Bucky. Though, come on out of there before someone notices."

Fubuki complied, brushing off the leaves as she stood. Kongou gently led her to a somewhat secluded corner out of Akagi's sight.

"Okay, whatever your plan is, I want in."

"Um, I really don't have a plan."

Kongou sighed. "In that case, follow me."

"Where are we going?"

"Hosho's. We need an expert's advice."

 _Later...  
_  
"Maybe we should have them run into each other on the beach. Neither of them deploy until the end of the week." said Kongou.

"That's really more of a first or second date kind of location. We can't push them too fast, or they'll both clam up." replied Hosho.

"What if we get them to have dinner together?" asked Fubuki.

"That's still a bit big for a first step, Bucky."

"Even if we could convince one of them to ask the other out, they'll be too scared to say yes." said Hosho.

"But, not if _you_ ask them." said Fubuki.

"Huh?"

"What if you ask both of them to come over for dinner tonight. Nothing too fancy, and you get called away right after they get there."

Both Kongou and Hosho's eyes widened. "It might work." said Kongou.

"I could use one of the booths in the corner. The really secluded ones." said Hosho. "And, I could have Mamiya call with an emergency in the kitchen."

"So, it's a good idea?"

"Bucky, it's a great idea."

"I'll call the girls in an hour. Think 1900 would be a good time?"

"Both are practicing till after 1600, so 1900 would be perfect." said Kongou.

"Alright then, Operation Crane Castle is a go." said Fubuki.

"Crane Castle?" asked Kongou with a raised eyebrow.

"Well, it rolls of the tongue better than Operation Bring Akagi-san and Shoukaku-san together so they can confess their feelings for each other."

"Eh, fair point."

The calls went out, and both Akagi and Shoukaku were more than happy to spend some time with their mother. Especially when Hosho promised to fix Akagi's favorite tempura. So far, everything was going according to plan. The three carriers were sitting at the both, happily chatting while Fubuki and Kongou eavesdropped from the behind the kitchen door. Sensing the time was right, they signaled Mamiya, who quickly went out and brought Hosho back into the kitchen.

 _At the table...  
_  
"It's too bad that Hosho got called away. She seemed really happy when the two of us showed up." said Akagi.

"Hopefully, she'll be back soon." replied Shoukaku.

"Speaking of being back. Is Taiho-chan spending the night at Ryujo's?"

"Oh, yes. Shinano's leaving for another Northern patrol tomorrow night, so the girls are saying goodbye tonight."

"That's nice of them."

The two continued to eat in relative silence, breaking only to either complement the food, or wonder how Hosho was doing.

"This isn't working." said Kongou.

"Maybe I should go back now."

"Hold on, Akagi-san's saying something." hushed Fubuki.

"Um, Shoukaku-san?"

"Yes, Akagi-san?"

"I, uh, have to use the washroom. I'll be right back" said Akagi quickly.

Kongou sighed as Akagi left the table. "I'm sorry, Bucky. It was a great idea. Bucky?"

Neither Kongou or Hosho had seen the little destroyer sneak out the other exit and head towards the washroom. Fubuki quietly slipped in to find Akagi lightly banging her head against the wall.

"Smooth move, Akagi. At this rate you've probably ruined tonight, if not your friendship with Shoukaku. What else could possibly go wrong?" she heard Akagi mutter to herself.

"Akagi-san?" said Fubuki, causing the carrier to jump.

"Oh, hi, Fubuki. I didn't here you come in." she said, before realization hit. "You just heard all of that didn't you?"

"Akagi-san, do you like Shoukaku-san, or no?"

"Yes. No. I don't know. Every time I'm around her now, all I see is how beautiful she is. What a sweet and caring person she is. How that smile of hers brightens any room she walks in." she paused, shaking. "But, she is one of my closest friends. What if she doesn't feel the same way? Then I'd have lost a cherished friendship, for nothing."

"Do you know what I see here, Akagi-san?"

"A helpless romantic?'

"I see one carrier beating herself up in the washroom, and one beating herself up at the table out there. Akagi," she said, dropping the honorific."You may find happiness with Shoukaku, you may not. But clearly, neither of you are happy right now. The two of you owe it to each other to at least see where it goes. You may see it as a possible end to a friendship, but what I see is an opportunity to strengthen it, for both of you."

"You think?"

"Yes, I do. Now go out there and ask that carrier out." said Fubuki as she straightened Akagi's clothes.

Kongou and Hosho watched as the Akagi returned to the table and Fubuki entered the kitchen.

"Fubuki, what did you say to her?" asked Kongou.

"I just gave her a pep talk."

"Well, whatever you did, it worked." said Hosho. "Look."

Akagi and Shoukaku were talking excitedly for a few moments, before Shoukaku stopped and hugged Akagi.

"Congratulations Bucky, I think we're seeing the birth of something beautiful."


	39. Rule 6303

6303\. Maya, roller coasters are not for everybody.

Yokosuka.

Takao sighed as she plopped down onto the couch, taking in the blissful silence. She and Myoko had just managed to get their daughters to go to sleep after a restless night, and Myoko already was passed out in the nursery. Takao was considering joining her wife when the door swung open.

"This is a bad idea." said Atago.

"You're only saying that because you didn't think of it." retorted Maya.

Before either could say anything else, both girls had hands on their mouths and a frazzled Takao in their faces. "We just got the girls to sleep, and if either of you wake them up, I'll kick the two of you out so hard, you'll enter orbit. We clear?" she said in a harsh whisper. Both her sisters nodded, so she lowered her hands and continued. "So, what is a bad idea?"

"Bad doesn't begin to cover it." whispered Atago.

"It's a great idea."

"It is not."

"It is too."

 _From one set of children to the other,_ thought Takao. "Again, what is this idea?"

"I'm taking Chokai on a trip next week, and Atago's just mad because it'll prove that I'm the best older sister."

Takao face-palmed. Atago and Maya had always been competitive, but things had reached a new level over the past week. Somehow, the debate went from who was the best on a motorcycle to who was the best older sister, and in typical fashion, led to both Atago and Maya going to ever increasing heights to win Chokai's favor, much to the younger sister's horror. Takao sighed as she remembered helping Chokai hide under the crib to escape both Atago's measuring tape and Maya's motorcycle.

"Where are you taking her?"

"To Nagashima Spa Land. They're opening up Rakurai next week. It's the tallest, fastest wing coaster in the world. Electronic launch, 425' foot drop, six inversions, and 130 MPH." said Maya, dreamily.

"You're only doing that because you overheard me telling Ashigara how I was going to take imouto-chan skydiving."

"Am not."

"Are too."

"Aren't both of you forgetting one little problem with these ideas?" groaned Takao.

"What?"

"Chokai's afraid of heights" said Takao. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm exhausted, so I'm going to lay down next to my wife and pass out."

 _The next week...  
_  
"Maya-chan, are you sure about this?" asked Chokai as they got off the bus.

"Of course I am. Come on, it'll be fun." said Maya as they got in line.

Chokai looked up at a mass of silver and gold metal towering over the park. "We're going on that?" she gulped.

"Eventually. Don't worry, I got the whole thing planned out."

"You do?"

"Yep. See, most people are going to Rakurai because it's new, then they're going to the other rides. Which means that the lines shouldn't be to bad at first, and by the time we finish riding those, the line for Rakuri should be shorter."

"So, which one are we going on first?" asked Chokai, hoping that Maya would say a kiddie coaster or a nice, safe carousel.

"See that red and white one?" asked Maya, gesturing to a _very_ tall looking roller coaster. "That's Steel Dragon 2000. It was the tallest in the world when it was built."

Chokai briefly wondered if running towards the nearby river and swimming home was a viable option.

 _Yokosuka, a few hours later..  
_  
Takao let Makoto rest her head on her hand as she waited for the FaceTime call to go through. Soon, Maya's face appeared on her phone's screen.

"Hey, sis. What's up?"

"Oh, nothing. I just wanted to see how everything was going. Hey, where's Chokai?"

"Oh, she's right here. Hey, Chokai-chan, Takao's on the phone." The screen jerked around before focusing on what Takao thought was a green doll. It took her a moment before realization hit.

"Chokai!? What happened!?" she gasped.

"Hello, sis." she said shakily. "I'm fine. Just getting used to roller coasters, that's all."

"Don't worry, we'll make an enthusiast out of her yet!" boasted Maya. "Well, we're gonna have to cut you loose, sis. We're gonna get something to eat before we ride Rakurai."

"You sure that's a good idea?"

"Certainly. What could possibly go wrong?" said Maya as she hung up.

"How are they doing?" asked Myoko as she picked Makoto up and sat down beside her wife.

"Wondering if I'm going to have one less sister by tonight."

 _An hour later..._

"Maya, I don't think this is a good idea. Maybe we should go on another ride." said Chokai as the attendants checked the restraints.

"Relax, imouto-chan. Just sit, ah, lay back, and enjoy the ride." said Maya, grinning manically. "Oh, and prepare to go from zero to 130 MPH in 1.2 seconds."

"From what to what?!"

Before either could say another word, the train launched.

"AAAAH!"

When Takao and Myoko got another FaceTime a few minutes later, they expected the worst. Which meant that when the screen showed a perfectly normal-looking Chokai, they were pleasantly surprised.

"Hi Takao-nee, Myoko-san, how are the kids?" she said, cheerfully.

"Fine. Um, where's Maya?"

"Oh, she's just over here," she stopped as the sound of gagging could be heard over the phone. "Uh, never mind."

"So, how did it go?" asked Myoko.

"Better than I thought it would actually. I must admit, the other rides had me queasy, but somehow, that last one wasn't nearly as bad. As long as I don't go any higher than that, I should be fine."

"Then I'm guessing you haven't heard Atago's plan."

Chokai's face fell. "What is it?"

"Skydiving. And before you ask, yes, you can hide under the crib again." said Myoko.

"Thanks."


	40. Rule 6306

_6306\. The Abyssals are currently blockading our Supply of Paper that doesnt mean you people get to laze off. STOP THEM! DONT CELEBRATE!  
6306A. They sunk the ship carrying our Request for Ice Cream Resupply.  
6306B. They also sank the ship carrying the Tea Request and Coffee Request.  
6306C. They just sank the ship carrying the ScienceFleet's data sheets._ Zephry yawned as she strolled down the docks earlier than she would have liked. She and her sister had just returned from their week long island hopping and she had been all to relieved that they were finally going to go back home. As much as the vacation was needed and the base welcoming and relatively peaceful compare to the others she had visited, the incident with South Dakota not withstanding. She was excited to finally go back home to Devonport and the chaos with dealing with said home. She misses them that much was true.

"Morning" Someone greeted snapping the natural born's attention. She turned to the source and saw the local Admiral waving at her a fresh cup of chocolate by the smell of it. "Someone's awfully early today."

"Good Morning Sir." She greeted back as she made her way towards the relax admiral. "And I'm just excited to go back home."

"Home sick I presume. Can't say I blame you." He smiled offering a cup that somehow appeared out of nowhere. She accept it with thanks "How's the Island hopping? Found some interesting things I presume?"

"I blame you for my sister's new addiction of Spicy Ice Cream. What was that again Bicol Express Ice Cream?" She remembered the moment her sister's eyes shined she knew she found her favorite desert. How they made ice cream that spicy was beyond her.

"I already signed the requisition forms she sent me. A girl eating that much spice cant be good for her stomach." He laughed as he took a sip at his cocoa. "Anything else you found interesting?"

Zephyr thought for a moment while most of the things they visited were historical while others were relaxing nothing really caught her attention. "Nothing really. Islands we visited where peaceful and relaxing, the locals are friendly and smiles alot. Heck even the occasional ghost would wave and greet. It was nice overall." She said sipping at her drink while enjoying the rising sun. "Gotta say this base is quite peaceful too. No chaos at every turn. No misbehaving personnel around the corner. Heck I can safely say this is the most normal base I have ever been too. Its as normal as it can get." She paused. "Aside from the mountain of paperwork you usually do. Seriously you need to get some logistic officers to deal with that kind of work."

"Politics." He shrug eyes never leaving the horizon. "Kinda hard for an Army Officer to run a Naval Base as it already is. But add in greedy political bastards that want some control over the only means of defense of the Capital." He grimace recalling a few heated stand offs with said political figures. "Politicians tried to shoe in their people in and try to take over from and position they can get. It doesn't help that the Navy were salty that an Army Guy just got hold their base. The Army help as much as they could but. I was on my own with regards to promoting people for Officer positions."

"Can't you just promote people on the spot?"

"Paperwork still needs to be filled. And the moment those bastards catch wiff its an immediate rejection." He laugh but this time there was a bitter tone in his voice. "The only reason they can't touch me directly is because the Admiral that handle this place before me had much bigger influence then they have. It was also thanks to him that I even got a second in command."

Zephry could more or less understand where the Admiral was coming from. Her own aunt had dealt with corrupt politicians in more than one occasion. They tend to be underhanded and fight dirty but they didnt stand a chance when shipgirls point their gun at them.

"Speaking of paperwork. You usually stuck inside your office and only come out during lunch or when you call in for the night. Why are you here early in the morning?"

"Because of That." He pointed at the Horizon. Zephry had to squint hard to see what he was pointing at. Then she saw it. Faint outlines across the horizon. Abyssals. Hundreds of them. "They've been blockading the base since two days ago."

"And why are you just staring at them?"

"If you haven't forgotten the only girls I have are for a reaction force. We can't handle that many abyssals." He shrug nonchalantly. "I already called it in. The main force should be here within the week."

"Within the week!? How are we supposed to go home? Heck how many have already died from the blockade?"

"I called your aunt about this already and she have booked a flight home for the two of you. See Bataan for the details. As for casualties. There are zero."

"Zero? How?"

"Apparently they board the ship and burn any documents they find then force said ship to turn around and head back to where they come from."

"Burn the Documents?"

"Apparently they gather the requisition forms and what ever paperwork they could finds and burn them." He shrug. "I'll be honest it was smart move of them to burn the documents since I cant exactly give them resources without those."

"Which bases do this supply go to?"

"International bases like Yokosuka of Japan. Some bases from South East Asia and a few from China."

"And what kind of supplies do you give them?"

"Aside from the standard four... Ice cream."

"Ice Cream?"

"Ice Cream."

"You do know that the DDs would be rioting over no supply of ice cream right?"

He gave her a very Cheshire smile. Zephry's respect for the man just went up even a bit as they heard the echoing war cry of thousands of ice cream deprived Destroyers over the Horizon.

The Blockade never stood a chance. 


	41. Rule 6324

_6324c. "You know… that kind of brings up an interesting question. Most kanmusu are ships and a number of them are 'haunted hulls', but what about the bases like Devonport? Even the ones miles from anywhere likely had a number of people die on them and many are still in service, so do we even want to know how many are haunted locations or have links to haunted locations?" - Megan_

 **LadyPearl said:**

 _6324d: "Let me do some research and get back to you on that."~ South Dakota  
6324e: South Dakota is forbidden from doing any more research on this subject!_

 **Dnite77 said:**

 _6324F. We already have a rule saying Corregidor is haunted. Stop poking the dead dammit! They are submitting complaints already!  
6324G. To the visiting South Dakota please stop whatever you are doing. USS Leyte can't sleep without barging into my room late at night._

Megan Jones breath the fresh salty air as she disembark from the ship. She and her twin had arrived at Corregidor Island for some much needed and ordered vacation courtesy of their Aunt. She was a bit disappointed that it wasn't going to be Japan but their aunt assured them that the Island would catch their interest. After all it was Haunted and teeming with the Supernatural. That got the twins attention. They decided it was atleast worth a look.

With bags pack come the next morning they departed... thought it took longer than necessary since they had to pry quite a lot of DDs from her Sister but with promises of souvenirs they departed.

Her thoughts were cut short when her sister tap her shoulder and pointed at the soldiers waiting. Two soldiers, a woman and a man wearing black BDU were standing at attention a parked Army Jeep behind them. The moment their foot step on land the two soldiers greeted with a salute.

"Welcome to Corregidor Naval Base!" The man declared before turning towards me and my sister. "You must be the Jones Twins?"

"Yes!" Megan affirmed while returning their salute with my own. "I'm Megan Jones affiliated with Plymouth Naval Base."

"I am her Twin sister, Sally Jones also known as..."

"HMS Zephyr." The man in black interrupted. "I heard quite so much about both you from your aunt." He smiled before extending his hand. "Lt. Col. Drake Knight. Head of the Army Scout Ranger Detachment here at the base. Pleased to meet you."

Megan returned the gesture in kind. But was confused at the fact that there was Army presence at a Naval Base. Apparently she wasn't the only one.

"Army?" Sally asked just as confused as her am. "Shouldn't it be the Marines in-charge of land base security?"

"The Admiral preferred to work with the Army more." He explained with a small chuckle.

"And who is the admiral if you don't mind me asking?" His chuckle turned into a full blunt laughter. Even his aide was laughing with him.

"Your looking at him."

Eh?

-0-

I couldn't help but laugh at their surprised face as I revealed my self as the Base's Admiral. It was a common reaction that I thoroughly enjoy.

"How?" Zephyr asked. It was kinda ironic that a ship girl with a rank was asking my how I became an Admiral.

"Via Recommendations. The old admiral recommended me as his replacement before he retired." I sighed as a unpleasant memory came back. "Long story short. I was force into it and the Navy can't have a say against it either. The guy had too much influence to be denied his final request."

I made to turn and hop onto the driver side of the Jeep. I raised an eyebrow when no one followed even Yang!Iowa who was my escort for the day. "You coming?" That snap them out and jump into the Jeep.

A moment later we drove off.

I started the tour of the base starting with the docks. I kept it short as possible seeing that the Docks was most busiest part of the base with ships loading and unloading supplies. Personnel and Vehicles alike working round the clock.

"Talk about Busy." I heard Zephyr whistled. "Our base isn't as bustling as this."

"It's because this base works as a Supply Depot for both International and Local Bases as well as a Frontline Base and a Tourist Spot." I explained as I waved back at Isuzu and Sendai who were hard at work.

"Must be tough." Ha! If only she knew.

The next think we visited were the Tunnels. I didnt need to explain to them what they are since there was already a Tour guide waiting just as I requested.

I left the girls in the tour guide care as well as Yang!Iowa with them with instruction to guide them to where the Main Offices were located deep within the Tunnels. With that I left to deal with a bigger problem on hand. USS South Dakota.

The moment I reached the Archived room I was greeted with BRP Fort Drum and IJN Hiei guarding the door. They were the only ships that could stop South Dakota in case things went South. Pun not intended.

"Still inside I presume?" I asked the both of them who nodded in reply. Good I would like to keep it that way. And to think the US Navy were calling in the favor of giving us those ships this way. I'm pretty sure those ships is not enough payment for entertaining one of their Science Girls. Damn those bastards had me good. "Keep guard and notify immediately if she moves."

"Yes sir!" They saluted and returned to their stations. It was too early but I may as well visit Pola for a drink. I may need it.

-0-

The Tunnels were as expected from the Jones Twins. The atmosphere was heavy and they could feel it in their skin that this was a prime spot for Supernatural activities. They also had to give props to the Girl giving their tour for not even affected by such heavy pressure. Must be the fact that she had work here long enough that this thing didn't made her flinch.

"I'm surprised." USS Io- I mean Yang!Iowa said ignoring the Tour Guide completely. "Most people began to pale this deep into the Tunnels."

"It's because we are used to dealing with the Supernatural" Megan explained with a small smile. "This much isn't that rare where we come from. I'm actually impress with this."

"You should see the Base at Night!" Yang!Iowa exclaimed. "It kinda caught me off guard when I just got summoned here but I got used to it."

"What happens at night?" Zephyr asked curious as to what happens at the Naval Base at night.

"The Spirits get a lot more active at night." The tour guide explained having stop her history lesson seeing that no one was listening to her. "Admiral Knight had strict instructions not to disturb them and had implemented a Curfew. Apparently some of them somehow filed a complaint about nosy girls." She laugh apparently recalling a funny scene. "He was annoyed to be honest."

"He can see them?" both Jones asked in unison.

"Yes. Thought he may not look like it he does have some experience with the supernatural side of things." the tour guide said. "I'm not all the familiar with the admiral so if you have more questions it's better to asked him directly."

They would the moment they meet him again later that day.

"We will keep that in mind."

-0-

USS South Dakota was buried in historical documents. Engrossed at every bit of data she could get her hands on. She was a woman with a mission and no one would stop her. She was ever thankful of the US Navy to allow her this much freedom for this. Then again she knew they would prefer her experiments out of the country. They saw an opportunity and took it.

Now here she was. Deep in the Archived of Correigidor looking through documents with regards to strange natural phenomena with in the island. She read through it all from sightings to strange noises at night. And so far she found nothing concrete or conclusive.

She heaved as sigh as she toss the current document into a pile behind her. "No such Luck." She said despondently. So far most if not all the things she read could be explained by something that happens in the base. Mysterious Lights? Faulty lighting. Strange noises? Strays making a ruckus. Loud explosions? The Cannons going off...Wait. What?

Realization struck her.

She began digging through the files she read and after a moment she found it. A record of the island defenses since the Spanish War around the base. She read through every then she found it.

Every Cannons had been decommissioned after World War 2. There was no active cannons. Then something crumbled behind her. A stack of folders collapse. Then she saw it. A Black Book.

She couldn't help but grin.

Outside the door Drum and Hiei looked at each other before staring at the door. The could hear a manic laughter just beyond it. It was scaring them.

"Should we get the commander?"

They sprinted down the hallway while screaming their admiral's name.

-0-

"We're back Boss Man!" Yang!Iowa greeted as she bust down the door. Thankfully I had invested on very sturdy hinges. The Jones followed suit admiring my office as they entered.

"So how do you find my base?" I asked with a smile as I toss the form in hand. Those could wait.

"Well..." Megan began unsure on what to say. "Aside from the Supernatural things this base is surprisingly normal..." She paused as she saw the mountain of stack paper by my side. "...ish?"

"Let me guess your aunt doesn't deal with this much paperwork?"

"Much? That's a Mountain!" Zephyr exclaimed pointing at said work.

"Well this base does have four different function." I said staring at the ever growing pile. I sighed as I pulled another document that needed my signature. "This actually a lot bigger than this. But enough about that what else do you need to asked?"

"Your understaffed. There's barely any shipgirls here! Heck excluding Yang!Iowa who was with us, the Isokaze at the Mess Hall and the Repair ships at the arsenal. I haven't seen any other girls." Megan said recalling the tour inside the operational side of the base.

I made to respond but was cut short when Bataan emerge behind the stack of paper. "Currently this base has Three Battleship, Three Carriers, a Heavy Cruiser, a few Destroyers and Corvettes, and quite a large number of Submarine Chasers, Gunboats and PT boats." She sighed before turning her attention at our guest. "While yes we are somewhat understaffed the reason you aren't seeing that many of us is that they are out on a sortie."

"Still that small?" Zephyr asked.

"Well this is just a reaction force. Most of the Main Fleet are out." That caught everyone's attention even the new girls. "This base despite being small is quite important in our countries defense. So we are fully staffed. The only reason we are that small is that the Majority of our Girls are out." I sighed as I pulled out a map from under my desk. "Currently my Second in Command along with a Detachment of Marines as well as more than half the base's Shipgirls are with her."

"That's quite a lot."

"That much is needed since she patrols the inland seas from Abyssals that slipped through the Frontlines." I pointed at a region next to Mindanao. "Last I heard they are currently here fighting a rather annoying Enemy Base."

Before anyone could asked I heard Hiei and Fort Drum screaming my name in a panic. That cant be good.

"Commander its South Dakota!"

Yep. Not Good at all. I turned to the Jones contemplating where to let them come with me or not. "How good are your latin?"

"Fine why?"

"Good. Everyone with me. We got a more dangerous thing to deal with."

"Hah! Boss man what could possibly more dangerous than Abyssals."

"A Mad Scientist." The Jones and I said unanimously.


	42. Rule 6381

6381\. Atago, Maya, you're going to couple's therapy. Only once you've completed and passed it, will Chokai consider speaking to you again.

Yokosuka.

"Say, where's Chokai?" asked Ashigara. "Shouldn't she be here by now?"

As if on cue, the spectacled cruiser appeared and sat face down next to Ashigara and Haguro.

"Um, hi, Chokai. What's up?" asked Haguro. At Chokai's shrug, she continued. "Atago and Maya at each other's throats again?"

All Chokai could do was twitch her head.

"If you want, you can spend the night with us again." said Ashigara, patting Chokai's head.

"Yeah, a night away from the bickering should put that smile back on your face." said Haguro.

Chokai abruptly sat up and stared at the two of them with bloodshot eyes. "Think I should boil them in machine oil? Or would that be too painless?"

Haguro blinked. "Okay, maybe a couple of nights."

"This is getting ridiculous." said Ashigara.

"We'd better call in the heavy artillery." replied Haguro as she tried to soothe Chokai.

Later...

"Well? I'm waiting." said Takao, glaring.

"Uh, for what, sis?" asked Maya nervously.

"For starters, why the two of you are only capable of shouting out your disagreements instead of working them out like civilized adults, and why you both feel the need to drag Chokai into them."

Atago and Maya glanced at each other for a moment before the accusations flew.

"She started it, Onee-san!"

"No, it was her!"

"Was not!"

"Was too!"

Takao rolled her eyes as her siblings turned on each other once again. Before she could step in, however, Chokai beat her to it.

" **QUIET!"** yelled Chokai, causing her sisters to jump back in surprise. "What the Hell is wrong with you two? All either of you do anymore is fight, fight, fight. Nothing else. Day in, day out, the two of you are arguing over the _stupidest_ of things. "Who's better on a bike." Who's better at cooking." NO ONE CARES. You two are sisters for God sake's." she paused, tears beginning to form. "I know my Atago-nee and Maya-nee. They were as close as sisters could be, even in our past lives. Yes, they teased each other, and they argued, but never like this. The two of you might look like them, and sound like them, but you are _not_ them." Atago and Maya went from shocked to hurt, but Chokai continued. "Over the last few months," she said in a low voice. "I watched the two of you, hoping to find some trace of my sisters in either of you, but now I see I was deluding myself. I want my sister's back, and I want the two of you to go back to whatever pit we summoned you from!"

Chokai ran out of the room, quickly followed by Takao, leaving Atago and Maya alone.

The next day...

"How is she?" asked Myoko as she sat down next to her wife and sister-in-law.

"Sleeping, thankfully." said Takao. "Is everything alright?"

"Atago and Maya are outside. If you want, me and Nachi can tell them to leave-,"

"No, I'll talk to them. Just, could you and Nachi stay with her till I get back?"

"Of course."

Takao headed for the door, and it opened to reveal Atago and Maya on the porch. They looked miserable.

"How is she?"

"Is she okay?'

"She's sleeping, and I don't want anyone disturbing her." said Takao, with more of an edge to her voice than she really wanted. Her sister's flinched as if she'd struck them. "Sorry. Look, Atago, Maya, I know the two of you are sorry, but, honestly, I don't think sorry is gonna cut it this time. Chokai brought up a good point yesterday, the two of you never were like this, and I have no idea what the hell happened. From the looks you two are giving me, I guess neither of you do, either."

All her sisters could do was shake their heads in sadness.

"Girls, this has to stop, for good. No more "who's better" or "who's this or that"."

"But, how?" asked Atago.

"Akashi recommended a counselor to me the other day, and I want the two of you to go see her."

"But," began Atago.

"Are you sure," said Maya.

"Yes. Girls, please, if you won't do it for yourselves, do it for Chokai."

The next day..

Atago and Maya looked from the door to each other.

"So, this is it." said Maya.

"Yes, it is."

"For Chokai?"

"For Chokai." said Atago, as she opened the door. 


	43. Rule 6483

_Rule courtesy of AngryAmerican_

 **6483:With flu season approaching, keep in mind that while emyou /emmight not be very vulnerable to it, this does not apply**

 **6483a: Yes ship girls can be carriers of the flu virus, as well as a wide variety of other viruses, bacteria, infections,**

 **6483b: Saying 'Sharing is Caring' does not make it acceptable. Additionally, more than a few girls are sensitive to sick people around them. It's been very distracting for everyone**

 **6483c: For the love of all that's good, don't try to 'Collect them All'**

Somewhere on the East Coast

Oklahoma strode into The Factory, the specialized facility entirely dedicated to rigging and the maintenance thereof. This early it was fairly quiet, with perhaps a dozen people in total working on the CNC machines and what looked to be German cruiser's rigging.

The battleship made a beeline to the walled-off back of the building, marked as 'Precision Mountings'. Inside was more like a modelers hobby room than a machine shop, with paints, files, small pliers, and tiny welding sets. But what immediately struck Oklahoma was that the person she was searching for wasn't there. She hurried over and looked around. His workspace was clear, everything carefully stored away on the shelves.

"Looking for him?" One of the workers asked, looking up from a miniature quad 40 mm mount.

"Yes, I am."

"Duncan called in sick this morning. Sounded pretty bad." The worker saw the battleship go stock still at the news, "Are you-"

"I've got to go. Bye!" With that, Oklahoma took off running for the door.

"What's her problem?"

"Don't ask stuff like that! You'll drive yourself crazy."

 _Off base_

Duncan groaned as someone started pounding on the door. "Hold on a minute!" He grumbled as he dragged himself up and staggered towards the front door. He staggered short as someone physically ripped the deadbolt from the door, followed by the handle.

The next thing he knew, someone had barged in, slung him over their shoulder, and was carrying him through his house.

"Just hold on, you'll be fine, I'll take good care of you-"

"Who are you?"

"Shh," Oklahoma said as she carefully laid Duncan in his bed. "Everything will be fine. I'll take care of you, you just rest alright?"

"Okie? What the hell-"

"Shh! J-just..." Then Duncan noticed the tears in Oklahoma's eyes. "I-I'll take care of you. Just rest, please." He nodded.

 _That Afternoon_

New York, the leader of BATDIV6 tapped her foot impatiently. No mean feat considering she was standing on the surface of the Atlantic. "Where is she?"

The other two battleships shrugged. "I haven't seen her since breakfast," Pennsylvania said.

"She told me she was going to the factory to see someone, but that was around nine," Nevada added.

Sighing in aggravation, New York pulled out her cell phone and dialed the missing battleship's number. Her grip on the specially designed case tightened as the phone continued to ring. Finally, someone answered. "H-hello New York."

New York hit the speakerphone button before growling, "Where the hell are you? We're already at the practice range!"

"I won't be coming today."

"What- Are you crying?"

"H-he's sick. I don't want to lose him too!"

New York looked over at Nevada who shrugged, "I don't know, her boyfriend maybe?" Then she snapped her fingers, "The flu! Remember nineteen eighteen?"

"Yes, I do..." The 1918 pandemic was hard to forget after all. New York suddenly felt very out of her depth listening to Oklahoma crying. Lots of ship girls had something from their past experiences that would set them off one way or another, but she wasn't the one who had to deal with that. But, she was in charge and had to make a call one way or another. "Alright, you stay where you are doing what you're doing, and we'll uh... Make it up later alright?" She sighed as the line disconnected, "We'll make this quick, then we need to find out where Oklahoma and her patient is."

 _Later,_

"I found the place," Pennsylvania said as she studied the destroyed door. "I'm going in to see what's what."

"Send us the address, Nevada called in a favor with Shamrock and we're all loaded up."

"Can do." Pennsylvania hung up, took a deep breath, and pushed the door open. "Okie? It's Pennsylvania, I'm here to help." There was no response. "This is a bad idea, Pennsy..." But she stepped inside and set about searching the house. It only took a few minutes for her to find the bedroom.

It was dark, the only light coming from the inside the closet and a few candles. Oklahoma sat beside the bed, gently stroking the occupant's forehead.

"Okie?"

"Shhh, he's sleeping."

Pennsylvania quietly came up beside Oklahoma, dreading what she might see. She was immensely relieved to see that he was indeed alive and asleep, he looked awful, but that was to be expected. "New York and Nevada are bringing Shamrock to help take care of him."

"Okay. I think he'll be fine," Oklahoma said as she brushed some hair away from his forehead. "His fever broke a few minutes ago."

"That's great. I'll be outside waiting for them, alright." At Oklahoma's nod, Pennsylvania left the bedroom.

It only took a few minutes for New York, Nevada, and Shamrock to arrive. As the hospital ship made her way inside, New York pulled the other battleships aside. "Here's what we'll do. I'll tell Briggs about all this, Pennsylvania will deal with the door, and Nevada will stay with her sister. Alright?"

"Yeah."

"Will do."

Briggs pinched the bridge of his nose as New York went over the events of the day. When she had finished, he looked up at the ceiling.

"So, he gets sick, Oklahoma goes AWOL and breaks into his house to take care of him."

"That's the gist of it, sir."

"What's his outlook?"

"Oh, he'll be fine. Just a nasty virus that's been making the rounds."

"Well, it's fairly minor as things go. I'll leave any disciplinary action up to you."

New York shrugged, "Since no one got hurt and the property damage was minimal, I'll have her help Vestal with her notes for a few days."

"Sounds good to me. Dismissed."


	44. Rule 6517

6517\. If any Kanmusu come into contact with Abyssal debris/flesh, and it breaks the skin, seek medical attention immediately. After what happened with Atago and Maya, we aren't taking any chances.

Yokosuka.

"Now, Takao, Choukai, I want to thank the two of you for coming."

"Thank you for having us, Dr. Mizuno." said Takao. Choukai merely stared at the wall, steadfastly ignoring the other two people in the room.

"I wanted you both here because both Atago-san and Maya-san agree that their current level of tension started roughly seven months ago, and I was hoping that all four of you could tell me what, if anything happened back then that might of set this off." said the base psychiatrist. "Before that, by all accounts, both of you got along just like any other pair of siblings."

"Well, seven months ago, Nee-san was on leave while she and Myoko got the house ready for the kids, so it was just the three of us sortieing." said Atago. "And I can't think of anything that happened on our sorties."

"Nothing really happened on the base either." added Maya. "Everything was normal, and then we just started getting angrier at each other."

"It was like night and day. One week they were fine, the next week they were at each other's throats."

"And there was nothing out of the ordinary? Nothing at all?" asked Dr. Mizuno. Takao, Atago, and Maya simply shook their heads.

"There was something." said Choukai suddenly. "Seven months ago, the three of us were on a patrol when the fleet came under attack from a trio of battleships. During the battle, one of the Ta-Classes charged the three of us while trying to get at Mutsu and Haruna. Luckily, Shimakaze managed to land a few torpedo hits and sunk her. She blew up right in our faces."

"Then what happened?"

"When we got back, I went to the docks while Atago and Maya got some bandages."

"They didn't go into the docks too?"

"We didn't need to. We didn't really get anything except some cuts and bruises, and Akashi needed the docks for Mutsu and Haruna." said Atago. "But, I don't see how that could have caused anything."

"Are you both sure nothing else happened?"

"Definitely." said Maya.

Dr. Mizuno folded her glasses. "On the off-chance that sortie had something to do with it, I'd like the two of you to go see Akashi tomorrow."

Both Atago and Maya looked at each other. "We'll do it."

The next day...

"Well, I looked up the records." said Akashi.

"And?" asked Maya.

"Aside from some cuts and bruises, the two of you were fine. So Yubari gave you some bandages to stop the bleeding while your damage control crews worked." said Akashi, reading the report. "A few hours later they gave her a glowing report that everything was normal. The only noteworthy thing at all is that that was the last time either of you were in the infirmary, aside from when Makoto, Ami, and Hotaru were born."

"Could you do us a favor?" asked Atago. "Could you scan us? Just in case something got overlooked?"

"Sure. The scanner's in my office. I'll be right back."

A few minutes later, the repair ship returned and performed the scan, plugging the information into her computer. Atago and Maya watched as Akashi's expression went from inquisitive to abject disbelief and horror.

"What is it?"

"The two of you have Abyssal tissue inside of you. How!?"

" _What!?_ "

"I don't know how, but it's bad. Listen, I need the both of you to head into the observation room. I got to call the Yubari's on this one."

Two days later...

"Is that what was causing them to get angry all the time?" asked Choukai as she and Takao sat next to their unconscious sisters.

"From the looks of it, yes." said Akashi. "When they were wounded, bits of that Ta-class got stuck inside them, and over the next few months, slowly grew until they started affecting their emotions."

"Why didn't their crews notice it?" asked Takao.

"At first it was too small for them to notice, and once it grew, it seems to have had the same effects on them." said Akashi. "From now on, I'm gonna have any wounded stay in the docks. If no one had caught it for another few months, they'd be much worse."

"Who'd be worse?" asked Atago groggily.

"Yeah, who?" added Maya.

before anyone could say another word, Choukai broke down in sobs as she grabbed both Atago and Maya into a hug, followed by Takao. As all four girls cried, Atago felt a hand gently grip hers. She looked down and saw Maya, and in that instant, they both made one simple promise, one not to be broken by either for as long as they lived. A promise that could be summed up in one word.

 _Sisters._


	45. Rule 6561

6561\. After what happened to Shigure yesterday, let it be known that the Fletcher class now consider her one of their number. At the same time, we'd like to extend our deepest apologies to Shigure and inform Harusame, Samidare, Yamakaze, Kawakaze, and Suzukaze that Yamashiro's coming for you. And she's _pissed_.

Yokosuka.

"You'll just steal all of our luck, just like you did in the War."

"We don't need a luck vampire hanging around us."

"From this point onwards, you are no longer considered a member of the Shiratsuyu class."

Shigure trembled, unable to reply. She tried to leave, but her feet refused to move, leaving her at the mercy of her tormentors. Tears came rushing down as Shigure collapsed on the ground, their words each stabbing at her heart.

"Hey! Leave her alone!" a new, unfamiliar voice shouted, halting the knives.

"You have no place here, _gaijin_. This is between us and her."

"Samidare, she's had enough."

"Very well, we'll leave. Goodbye Shigure."

"Oh, and _good luck_."

Shigure didn't respond. How could she? The damage had been done. All she could do was weep for what she had just lost, sobbing even as she felt a pair of hands gently take her into a hug.

"Shh, shh. It's okay, let it out." that unfamiliar voice soothed. "They're gone now."

She wept for several long minutes, the stranger's hands refusing to let her go. As her tears slowed, she felt those hands gently lift her head, brushing away stray hair, revealing herself to be an American destroyer. A Fletcher, by the look of her.

"What's your name, sweetie?"

"Shi-Shigure."

"Hello, Shigure. My name's William D. Porter." said the American, smiling. "Shigure, is there anyone I could take you to that can help you?"

"There's Yamashiro-san."

"Where is she?"

"The battleship dorms." Shigure stuttered. "Third door on the left."

"Thank you, Shigure. Let's get you to her."

Porter gently led her to the battleship dorms, where a stunned Yamashiro quickly took Shigure into her arms and carried her to her bedroom. Ten minutes later, the battleship slowly closed the bedroom door and gestured for Willie to sit down.

"What happened?" she asked quietly.

"A bunch of other girls were taunting her and calling her a luck vampire."

"Do you know who they were?"

Willie paused, trying to remember. "I don't know any of them, but one called one of the others Samidare."

Yamashiro recoiled in shock. " _Samidare_?! Are you sure?"

"Yes, ma'am."

Yamashiro abruptly stood up and walked back to the bedroom. Sitting on the nightstand next to her daughter was her prized possession, a picture of her with her sisters that they had taken last week. Grabbing it, she went back and thrust it into Willie's hands. "Do you recognize any of the girls here?"

Willie looked at the photograph. She recognized Shigure, and disturbingly, all five of the girls that had been tormenting her. "All the ones not in a blue uniform. That's them."

"Thank you," Yamashiro sighed. "could you do me a favor? Will you stay with Shigure for a few minutes? I need to make a phone call."

"Of course."

The next few hours went by in blur. Shigure, Willie, and Yamashiro were soon joined by four girls who looked just as stricken as Shigure. The six destroyers held a protective embrace over her while Yamashiro and Fuso bracketed them.

The next day..

"I wonder why the Admiral wanted to see us." said Samidare.

"He probably wants to thank us for something." said Yamakaze.

Goto, meanwhile, was staring at the door to the room in disgust. "How is Shigure doing?"

Yamashiro sighed. "Better. But not by much, and I'm not sure if she'll ever be the same again."

'When you are finished, give her my best." he said, opening the door. "In the meantime, however, they're all yours."


	46. Rule 6561 Continued

Addendum to Rule 6561.

"How could they?" asked Fuso. "How could they do this to their own sister?"

"I don't know, but I can tell you they'll be sorry when I get through with them." said Yamashiro in a low voice.

"Fuso-san? Yamashiro-san?" a familiar voice asked, and both Kanmusu were stunned to see Shigure standing in the doorway. The destroyer's eyes were still red from yesterday, and she was bracing herself against the doorframe.

"Shigure!" gasped Yamashiro. "What's wrong sweetie?"

"I woke up to get some water, and I heard what you said." Shigure said, her voice quivering. "Yamashiro-san, whatever you intend to do, don't do it."

"After what they did to you?! They deserve whatever's coming to them.." the battleship started to say, before Shigure cut her off with a hug.

"Please, Yamashiro-san." said Shigure, gripping her mother tightly. "I've already lost five sisters. I can't lose anyone else."

Yamashiro stood in stunned silence before realization dawned on her. Despite all they had said and done to her, Shigure still cared for them, and she didn't want Yamashiro to compound their error with one of her own. Tears forming in her eyes, she bent down and kissed her daughter's forehead. "Oh, Shigure-chan, you don't have to worry about me. I promise I won't do anything rash."

A few hours later..

Yamashiro had them right where she wanted them. After Goto had left the room, she had burst into the room and went Abyssal, sending the terrified destroyers cowering in a corner. Seeing that they were now suitably frightened, she reverted to normal.

Well, if you could call near-homicidal rage _normal_.

"Let's get one thing straight here. After what the five of you did to my daughter, you're now higher on my hate list than the goddamn Abyssals, and the only reason why I haven't used you brats for target practice is because Shigure doesn't want any of you hurt." at their shocked expressions, she contuined. "Yeah, even after all that you did to her, she still cares about you. Heck, she might just be the only who does now. So, here's how things are going to play out. None of you are going to speak to Shigure, none of you will see Shigure, and none of you will say another word about "luck vampirism" again. Because, if you do, I swear I'll make you five wish you'd never been summoned. Clear?"

Five whimpered "Yes, ma'am's." signaled that her point had been made, and she turned to leave.

"Oh, by the way." she said, stopping at the door. "I'm not sure what kind of punishment Goto's cooked up for you, but no matter what it is, it will pale in comparison when you all realize just what you've done to your sister."

With that, she left, leaving five terrified and in two cases, regretful destroyers in the office.


	47. Rule 6571

_6571\. Admirals who have their country overtaken by abyssals are not allowed to force shipgirls from other nations in help taking back your country._

"No." I sighed as I signed another supply requisition form completely ignoring the begging man infront of me. Admiral Farhand... or was it Farhan. A new face Singaporean Admiral one of the few who survived Singapore's fall.

"What do you mean no?" He asked disbelief in his voice.

"No means no." I glance at him before returning back to the paper at hand. "I can't help you take back your country. Nor can you borrow any of my girls for such suicidal endeavor."

"You don't know that!" He exclaimed slamming a fist a top my table disturbing the paperwork that was stack a top of it, luckily none of it fell. I admit the guy was young and inexperience but he has heart and was a patriot. Sadly those die the earliest in the war.

"I've been in this fight for most of my life." I pause gathering myself reining in my anger."Don't. Tell Me. What. To. Do." I glared hard silencing any retort from the younger admiral.

"Sorry..." he mumbled backing away and crashing down on the chair provided for visitors. "I just want to liberate my country."

I sighed scratching my head in frustration. I hate it when people start sulking. "Look kid." I started catching the boy's attention. "As much as it pain me to say this but such operations are costly and takes time." I explained before pulling up a projected map of the earth. Red highlights began to shown marking enemy territory. Brightest among them was Singapore. "See this." I pointed at Europe which was filled with red dots. "Currently a large scale operation is underway at the European continent. Which means majority of the most powerful navy is there. Which also means they can't help you." I then turned my attention to the young man. "Now tell me how long did they had to prepare for this massive operation?"

"A month?"

"Try three months." I uttered closing the projected map. "It took three months of collaboration between the UN to launch a large scale operation in Europe. It would take that much time to launch the same scale for Singapore as well." I explained resuming my desk work. "Do you understand?"

"It won't hurt to try." At that my face fell onto my hands. Blind Optimism, God I hate those kinds of people. Bullheaded as well. I look at him and saw a burning determination. I knew this kid was a pain in the ass. But I didnt expect this.

"You do know you don't have a Fleet, right?"

"That's why I'm here." Apparently he was too fresh from the naval academy to know what he was saying. I sighed. The only way for such views to be corrected was break it. And the only way to break it is through live combat. I just hope they would forgive me for this.

"I'm willing to let you take some of my girls." His eyes brighten. "But." I stop him from saying anything. "On one condition."

"What condition?" He asked with a firm resolve. I sense no hesitation at all. People will hate me for this.

"A few miles from here we receive reports of Abyssal Subs patrolling the area. Your job is to clear that area with the Sub Chasers." I said handing him a documents entailing the mission parameters. "Do it successfully then maybe you would have some girls under your command."

"Yes Commander!" He saluted with a happy smile.

"Philippine Sea." I called out to the Essex-class carrier who was my current secretary on duty. "Lead this man to the docks. He'll be the commander for the Submarine clearing for the day."

"Yes Sir." The Fil-Am Carrier saluted before I handed her the _real_ orders for the mission. A PvP exercise with the Allied Abyssals. She then turned to our guess and made him to follow.

The moment they were out of sight Anti Air Destroyer Princess appeared behind a mountain of to be signed paperwork.

"You know what to do."

[It... shall... be... done... Commander]


	48. Rule 6597

6597\. The founding of harems is strictly prohibited. BTW, which one of our resident nutcases caused the need for this one?  
6597a. "Fubuki."  
6597b. "What!? But, she's one of the normal ones!"  
6597c. "How else do you explain her relationship Mutsuki, Kisaragi, and Yudachi?"  
6597d. "But, I'm too young to have a harem!" Fubuki.

Yokosuka.

"So, Tokiwa, what seems to be the problem this week?" groaned Goto.

"There are personnel on this base engaging in scandalous behavior unbecoming of Japanese officers!" the armored cruiser shouted.

"Look, if you're complaining about Iku, we have a box for that at the front desk."

"This is far worse than that lewdmarine."

"Have our doujin writers returned?" asked Goto.

"No, even worse!"

"Worse than that?" asked Goto, now genuinely surprised.

"One of your destroyers has a harem!"

"Tokiwa, this base has anywhere from eighty to a hundred and twenty destroyers stationed here at any one time, not counting conventional warships. Please be more specific."

"The one that took over for you for a month."

Goto practically choked on his tea. "You mean Fubuki?"

"Yes! That's the little hentai's name."

"Fubuki." echoed Goto. "Black hair, bright smile, one of the few sane people around here? I think you have the wrong girl."

"No, that's her alright." said Tokiwa. "That little runt has at least Mutsuki, Kisaragi, and Yudachi in her harem, if not more. She should be court-martialed and-"

"There you are!" a new voice cut Tokiwa off, and both she and Goto turned to see Naniwa walk into the office. "What did I tell you about going to the Admiral with your ludicrous ideas?"

"But,"

"But, nothing" said Naniwa. "Sorry about her, Admiral."

"No problem. Honestly, this one actually was kind of funny."

A few hours later, Goto was getting ready to leave for the night when he heard a knock on his door. He opened it to reveal Fubuki, staring pensively at him.

"You wanted to see me, sir?"

"Ah, yes. Come in, Fubuki." Goto gestured for the destroyer to sit down. "A few hours ago, I had an _interesting_ chat with Tokiwa about you."

"About me, sir?" squeaked Fubuki.

"Yes, and while I honestly didn't believe a word she said, I might as well ask you for the heck of it."

"Ask me what?"

"Fubuki, do you have a harem?"

The young destroyer's face turned as red as a stop light. "Harem? Me?" asked Fubuki. "But, I'm too young to have a harem!"

Goto chouckled. "I thought as much, and that's what I told Tokiwa. She had this crazy idea that you had Mutsuki, Kisaragi, and Yudachi in some sort of harem." Seeing the destroyer's blush deepen, he continued. "Don't worry, I think Naniwa set her straight on that one. I'll put the harem rule on the List, though. Might as well get it on there before Iku eventually tries it."

"Thank you, Admiral."

"No problem, now, you'd better get some sleep."

Fubuki's room.

Mutsuki, Kisaragi, and Yudachi all looked up as a clearly stressed Fubuki walked in and sat down on one of the chairs.

"Hey, Fubuki-chan, what's wrong?" asked Mutsuki.

"Oh, just the usual insanity." sighed Fubuki.

"Well, do you want to talk about it?" asked Kisaragi as she began to message Fubuki's shoulders.

"Yeah, spill it, poi." said Yudachi, brushing stray hairs out of Fubuki's face.

"Tokiwa told the Admiral that I had a harem, and all three of you were in it."

Her three best friends stared at her blankly before they burst out laughing.

"Oh, don't be silly, poi!"

"Yeah. Harems are for lovers." said Kisaragi.

"And the four of us are just best friends." finished Mutsuki.

"I guess you're right." said Fubuki.

"Of course we're right." chuckled Mutsuki. "Now, why don't you go lie down. You look beat."

Fubuki nodded, and her friends watched as she entered the bedroom they all shared.

"Should we tell her?" asked Mutsuki.

"But, she look's so cute when she's blissfully unaware." said Kisaragi.

"Yeah, let her figure it out for herself, poi."


	49. Rule 6652

6652\. When you go in for a refit, there is no black magic involved.

Yokosuka.

"Is your sister ever on time?" asked Tosa irritably.

"Only for meals." sighed Amagi(BC). "But this is late even by her standards."

"Where could she be?" wondered Atago(BC).

The three Kanmusu were sitting in the docks, waiting for Akashi to return. The four had been summoned with their 1920's era equipment, relegating them to second line duties until a week ago, when the operations had slowed enough to allow the four to go in for a refit.

"I'm here, and I'm ready for the refit." a cheerful voice announced, and all eyes turned to the youngest battlecruiser. Takao(BC) waltzed up to the docks, her robe covered with crosses, rosary beads, and talismans.

"What's with the get-up?" asked Akashi.

"It's to protect me from the black magic."

"Black magic?" Amagi echoed.

"Yes, Tokiwa was telling me all about how Akashi signs deals with the devil in order to carry out refits, so I came prepared." said Takao.

"I swear, I'm gonna weld that cruiser's mouth shut." muttered Akashi. "Takao, tell me something. You've seen my office, right?"

"Yes."

"And the docks? And the storeroom , and the infirmary, right?"

"Yes, why do you ask?"

"Did you, at any point, see anything at all related to devil worshipping?"

"No." said the battlecruiser, realization dawning. "You mean Tokiwa was just-"

"Spouting complete nonsense as usual? Yes." said Akashi. "Now that that's settled, take that bloody robe off, get in the dock, and take this glass of water."

As Takao sat down in her dock, she continued. "That last bit goes for all of you."

The four capital ships complied, and after downing the glass, Amagi noticed two small paper bags in Akashi's hands. "Akashi, what are those?"

"A couple sandwiches for me and Haruna. I'm about to have my lunch break in twenty seconds."

"Twenty seconds?' asked Tosa. 'How? You haven't given us the sedative yet."

"Course I did. It was in the water you all just drank."

As if on cue, all four Kanmusu suddenly slumped back in their docks. After checking to make sure there weren't any reactions, she gave the fairies the go-ahead to start the refits, and turned her attention to Haruna.

"That Tokiwa is certainly something." remarked Haruna from the opposite docks.

"Crazy, paranoid, and cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs is more like it." said Akashi as she handed the battleship her lunch. "Still, might as well send Ooyodo an email to put it on the list. With my luck, she's probably told all the destroyers about my pacts with the devil."

"Probably a good idea."

"Anyways, are the new propellers working?"

"Oh, they're great. Much better than my old set."

"Good. So, how are the kids?"

"The usual. The four of them are working on a project for the science fair."

"Ooh, tell me more."


	50. Rule 6653

6653\. To our WW1-era shipgirls, while we can upgrade many of you to WW2 standards thanks to MSSB, there is a considerable wait line. And no, you can't barge into the repair ship's office and demand to be put at the front of the line.

Yokosuka

"What's the status of Tosa's and the Amagi's refits?" asked Goto.

"All proceeding on schedule. Barring any major issues, all four should be out in a month." said Akashi. "Which brings us to our next question."

"Who to refit next?" said Ooyodo.

"Exactly."

"Well, what's the latest figures you have?" asked Goto.

"Fully half of our current destroyer fleet has been upgraded with Allied standard AA and ASW, and those refits are minor enough that I can just save them for when they come in for maintenance. Cruisers are pretty much in the same boat. About half have the better AA and radars, and the others can get them when they cycle through the standard maintenance. It's really the battleships and carriers that's causing the problem because they need a dock all to themselves."

"Which means that we have to be selective about who we choose and at what time." added Ooyodo.

"Suggestions?"

Akashi tapped her clipboard. "Let's see. Souryu and Hiryu just left on the last convoy, so I can ask Medusa and Jason if they can take care of them in San Diego. That leaves us with the Unryu's, Shinano, and Hakuryu for fleet carriers, and Ryuho and Chuyo for light carriers. In terms of battleships, we have a slightly different problem."

"Which is?"

"With the Amagi's and Tosa now refitting, we're down to five battleships, not counting our pre-dreadnoughts."

"Isn't that a good thing?"

"Yes and no. The ones I haven't gotten to yet are the Kawachi's, Myogi, Ishizuchi, and Izumo." said Akashi. "Now, I _can_ refit them all, but with the exception of Izumo, it's gonna take a while. So, the question is, do you want me to refit Izumo first, and get her out quickly? Or do you want to keep her on the frontline, where she still has utility, and upgrade one of our second line units first?"

Goto pondered for a moment. "If we were to get attacked tomorrow, I'd rather send Izumo out than risk Ishizuchi or any of the others. Once the current refits are finished, I want you to start upgrading Ishizuchi and Myogi. Two more fast battleships should help out with our surface raider problem."

"And after that?"

"I'm not sure. By that time, Tosa and the Amagi's should be back to full duty, so we wouldn't have as large a firepower shortage, but who knows?"

"Alright, I'll tell Ishizuchi and Myogi."

A month later...

"Akashi!" a voice rang out, shattering the relative quiet of the docks.

"What?" asked the repair ship irritably.

"I demand a stop to this heresy!" said Kawachi.

"Oh come on. Didn't you get the memo that Tokiwa was imagining my pacts with the devil?"

"This is no fantasy!" scoffed the dreadnought. "Me and my sister are true battleships, yet you are wasting time and effort on those glorified cruisers. It is an outrage!"

Akashi merely sighed as Kawachi continued her tirade, idly wondering how the smallest battleship Japan had summoned, not counting pre-dreadnoughts, had more arrogance than all the others put together.

Suddenly, Kawachi stopped talking, realizing that the repair ship wasn't paying attention. "Hey, I'm talking!"

"And I'm done listening." retorted Akashi. "I can only refit so many capital ships at once and still have docks left over for emergency repairs, which means that the first priority goes to ships that Japan needs the most, and Japan right now needs ships that can catch the raiders that are hitting her convoys, and unless you've found a way for me to refit you to do thirty knots, you're not it." she said, glowering. "So, I suggest you get the hell out of my dockyard and wait your turn like every other Kanmusu on this base."

Kawachi opened her mouth to speak, but then thought better of it, electing to storm out in a huff instead, leaving Akashi alone aside from a (thankfully)unconscious Myogi and Ishizuchi.

"One of these days I'm gonna have the Yubaris' make me a Kanmusu-proof lock." she muttered to herself as she checked her patient's vitals. "I've just about had it with all the people barging in here and shooting their mouths off."

Seeing that both battlecruisers were fine, she went back to her office. She had another thing for Ooyodo to put on the List.


	51. Rule 6766

6766\. This time, and just this time, we are not complaining about an unauthorized summoning, as we desperately need repair ships at Yokosuka. So, please welcome repair ships Mihara and Momotori once Akashi's finished hugging them.

Yokosuka.

Akashi knocked on the door to Goto's office, bracing herself for whatever came next, whether a convoy was bringing in a critically damaged shipgirl or the Yubaris' had tried yet another scheme involving a big red button.

Ooyodo opened the door, and Akashi entered to find Goto sitting at his desk, reading a report.

"You wanted to see me sir?"

"Ah, yes Akashi. Please, sit down." said Goto, gesturing to a chair. When she sat down, he continued. "Now, I wanted to talk to you about your request for a second repair ship."

"Does that mean that the USN sending someone from Pearl?"

"Unfortunately, neither Admiral Holloway or Admiral Briggs has an extra repair ship available."

Akashi sighed. _She should have expected this, she really should have,_ she thought. While she enjoyed her work, being the JMSDF's only repair ship aside from the retired Asahi took it's toll from time to time, and with operations currently on the rise, with a corresponding growth in patients, she'd hoped that either Medusa or Vulcan could get assigned to help her deal with the heavy damage.

"However, we have found an alternative." said Goto, snapping Akashi back to attention. "Niyodo should be bringing them in now."

The door opened, as if on cue, and Akashi recognized Ooyodo's sister as she led two other women in. As her eyes focused on the strangers, they widened, and the only sound Akashi could make was a half-choked gasp. Standing before her were two Kanmusu that, aside from hair color, looked exactly like her.

"Repair ship Mihara, reporting for duty." the greenette said, bowing.

"Don't forget me." the bluenette added. "Repair ship Momotori here. Who needs fixing?"

Akashi said nothing as she stood up and walked over to the newcomers, shaking. Now face to face with them, she reached out and gently gripped them with her hands, to assure herself that they were really there, before she broke down in joyful sobs.

A few hours later...

As Goto and Ooyodo watched Akashi show her sisters the infirmary, the Admiral broke the silence with a chuckle.

"What's so funny?" asked Ooyodo.

"Oh, I just find it funny that as soon as you discover a huge surplus of supplies in Sasebo, a small portion disappears before it can be tallied, leaving no actual discrepancy on the records." he said, a seriousness in his voice. "Then all of a sudden, two repair ships show up out of the blue, just as Akashi says she needs help."

"Coincidences are funny like that, I suppose." said Ooyodo, inwardly quivering as she realized she'd been found out.

"Don't worry, Ooyodo. As long as this doesn't get repeated, I'm all for this remaining our little secret. After all that's been happening recently with the upsurge in operations, Akashi needed some good news." said Goto, smiling as he left.

Now alone, Ooyodo thought back to why she had done it. How she, while trying to find Akashi in her office, had found the repair ship's sketchbook open to a drawing of Akashi and her two sisters, sailing side by side. How she had noticed the old tear stains next to them, and how she remembered another shipgirl, also longing for the family she had never had in her first life until one day, when her wish had been granted. Her mind came back to reality, just in time to notice a pair of subtle winks coming from Akashi's sisters, promising that their secret would remain intact. Getting one last look at Akashi's smile, she smiled herself and left.


	52. Rule 2383

_Rule 2383. OK, people it's time for all ship girls and some navy personnel to be reminded that we'll be conducting a bi-annual budget review starting sometime this year. As such we'll be having mandatory Financial classes to help with your taxes and how to save and use money wisely. We're doing this because we don't want our budget getting cut by our government thinking how wasteful we are with our money what with all of the shenanigans you get up to. Paying for those damages aren't cheap._

"How?" Admiral Goto asked as he looked between the man infront of him and the files in his hands. Admiral Knight was currently visiting the base on the pretense of personally handling sensitive documents i.e. the Monthly Financial Reports. Commander Yonehara could have done that easily enough but apparently the filipino admiral had wanted to personally see the base that generates the cause majority if not all his paperwork.

"What do you mean How?" Admiral Knight asked, accepting a cup of tea from Kongou. Behind him was his escort Yang!Iowa who was standing guard.

"How could you make all this!" Goto gestured to the documents in his hands with a wave. He look through it, they were compiled cleanly and efficiently. Numbers laid bear to the most extreme details. It was so clean that they wouldn't have a problem comparing it with their own records for inconsistency. It was unbelievable for one person who manages resources that keep the majority if not the entire Asian Frontline running. Sure there are other supply bases but they still need to go to a intermediary before those supplies reach the frontlines, Corregidor Island was one of those intermediary bases. Goto could hardly imagine that many cargo going in and out much less keep track of everything. Most especially when said admiral doesn't have officers and staff to help control the paperwork that comes with it.

Knight stared for a moment before bursting out laughing. That caught Admiral Goto off guard and wondered if it was something he said or someone spiked the tea. Then Knight grab him by the shoulder and with a bright smile on his face he said. "That's simple."

"I lie to myself." The visiting admiral then pulled Admiral Goto closer. "Everyday when I wake up I tell myself that everything is going to be okay. But I'm lying." Knight pulled the older admiral even closer forcing the japanese admiral to look at his distant and hollowed eyes. "And I don't know how much longer I can take."

There was a painful squeal coming from Knight that made Goto fearful for the man. But in an instant later Admiral Knight was a good distance away and was calm and collected again. "Nice talk." He grinned as if the last exchange never happened. He downed the tea before made to leave. "If you ever need me I'll be at my ship! And love the tea." With that he left.

Silence. There was only Silence as Admiral Goto continued to stare at the close doors, even Kongou could only stare at the door as well, before both of them turned to the third and silent audience.

"To be honest." Yang!Iowa started, "He once said: "Insanity is just a matter of perspective". Make that out what you will." She shrug before following her commander out the door.

Admiral Goto was confused. He either commend the Army Officer turned Admiral for his Mental Flexibility and Fortitude or call in a Psychiatrist he knew to check the man herself.


	53. Rule 6095

_6095\. Due to recent 'Events' and 'Incidents' the Admiralty Board has assigned Commander Jaune Arc to go around the different Naval Bases as an Observer and will report any and all misdemeanor and misbehavior within the base directly to the Admiralty Board. So please we ask of you girls to behave properly while he is within the base.  
6095A. Keep the RWY!Shipgirls away for him or his wife. We rather not know what would happens if they meet. Especially Weiss!Kasumi. Let's count our lucky Yukikazes that Shipgirl Pyrrha doesn't exist._

 _6061\. Anything RWBY related is now banned in the Summoning Room. Even singing any of the songs of RWBY inside the Room is now Banned as well. I dont care if they are catchy or not.  
6061A. Everybody please welcome... IJN Weiss!Kasumi aka Weissumi. As if Yang!Iowa wasnt enough..._

I looked at the orders I was holding, then back to the young lad that was infront of me. I did it again and again. And again just to be sure I wasn't dreaming. Apparently the UN and the Admirality Board had decided that enough was enough with the Shipgirl crazy antics and had sent someone to inspect all naval bases if they are still fit for duty. What's worst was they started with mine!

"So... Your the Inspector?" I asked the blonde man... well young man infront of me. Deck out in full naval office uniform even had a ceremonial sword strap by his side. He also looked like a certain blonde leader from a web series I had been hooked.

"Yes Sir. Commander Jaune Arc of the United Nations Peacekeeper Headquarters." He introduce with a snap salute. Apparently he also had the same name as said blonde from the web series. This is going to be awkward.

"Admiral Drake Knight. Pleasure to have you here Commander." I saluted back. "Even if the visit was unannounced." I added. It truly was unexpected to get a call from the Docks that a UN delegate suddenly came to the Base. Worst still was I wasn't even finish with my paperwork! I glance at the mounting papers by my side that somehow got a bit bigger. This was going to be on my record I just knew it.

"Forgive me for the last minute arrival. I was sure my superior had already delivered the notification about a week ago." A week ago? That was the time where I took a week off and sent the paper work to the nearby base... That damn bastard Darren!

"Must be lost with all the paperwork." I lied with a smile.

"I can tell." He looked at said mountain of paperwork. "Don't you have anyone to filter that through?"

"Aside from my Secretary here and my Second in Command that's commanding the main fleet? I don't have any other officers." I get the feeling that me having no officers will be a recurring question people will asked about me.

"And why is that?"

"Politics." I answered with a straight face.

"Politics?" He asked disbelief in his tone.

"Politics" I affirmed. It was pretty self explanatory to me really.

"I understand. Anyway, can I asked a few questions?" He requested. I nodded and offered for him to take a sit. This was going to take a while. "My first question is how many are you in the naval base?"

"Total personnel or just Shipgirls?"

"Total if you could."

"At the moment..." I pause looking at Bataan who was approaching me with a file on hand. It was the file for the population within the island. "Human population are around three companies of Army Scout Rangers, a good two hundred or so supply personnel, a few medical personnel and atleast around fifty engineers. As for shipgirls, A good thirty or so Submarine Chasers or Gun Boats and around fifty or so PT boats. Then a few Corvettes, a single Light Cruiser, a single Heavy Cruiser, two Battleship, three Carriers, and a handful of Auxilliary. Well that's the personnel on the base."

"What about the main fleet?"

"Around more than half my current total fleet."

"That many!" He cried in shock. Well to be honest that what most people will react.

"Someone's gotta patrol the inland sea, might as well be us." I shrug as I started signing forms away. "Plus we do have a detachment of friendly Abyssals. So it evens out...Somewhat."

Before anyone could asked Yang!Iowa burst the door open. A wide grin on her face. That can't be good.

"Yo Boss Man!" She called out happily. "HQ just called and approve of our request for summoning!"

"Summoning?" our guest asked catching the attention of the new entry. The moment she looked at Jaune there was a spark of recognition.

"Jaune is that you!" Yang said embracing the poor lad in a tight hug."How are you doing!"

"Can't breath." he struggled which the battleship realized and quickly let go.

"Whoops. Sorry about that forgot I'm a Battleship." Yang!Iowa apologized sheepishly.

"Have we met?" Jaune asked finally regaining his breath. Turning to looked at the Battleship. She was shock and confused before turning to me for an explanation.

"This man here is Commander Jaune Arc." I introduce. "And no. He may look the same and has the same name but he isn't the Jaune Arc you know." The awkward silence that followed was deafening. I should have expected this. Which means I need to change the subject. "About the summoning Yang!Iowa." That snap them out.

"Oh right! HQ just called and approve our request. The fairies are ready and waiting Boss Man." Yang!Iowa chirp.

"Very well." I turned to my secretary who only nodded and went to work on the stack of forms. Leaving me free to do the summoning. I turned to our guess who was looking at me confused. "If you want, you could come with me to the summoning chamber."

"It would be my honor."

-0-

The trip to the Summoning chamber was long one, despite the short distance it takes to travel between my office and the Summoning chamber the real reason why it took too long was the awkward pair with me.

I glance at the two other people in the room along side and the fairies. Yang!Iowa and Jaune had been silently glancing at one another. It was funny the first few times. Especially since Yang!Iowa was rendered mute which is a miracle in itself. Then came the small talks... atleast they tired and failed horribly. It didnt help that they were stuttering. Jaune I could understand, but Yang? That was a first. There must be something in that jumbled memory of hers that related to Jaune... atleast her version of Jaune.

"Pyun!" A worker fairy called out. Catching my attention.

"It's ready?" I asked her. The chibi nodded before scampering of to the others that had set up some kind of viewing platform for themselves, the gathered material just a few feet ahead of them. Welp, No time like the present.

"Heed my call..." I started and in an instant the drawn circle began to shine. It was dim at first but as I continued to chant it glowed brighter and brighter. I could feel it. It was coming. I was at the home stretch. And just as I was almost finish. I heard a very familiar music.

"~Mirror~Mirror..." I turned just in time to see Jaune grabbing his phone in a panic silencing it the moment he got it. It was too late. Well... That can't be good.

And in a flash of light, I was blinded.

Just as the light dimmed and my vision returned, I saw her.

A Destroyer, with pure white hair tied to a side pony tail. She was elegant. And very familiar.

"IJN Destroyer Kasumi... Wait no. Its should be AKRN Weiss Schnee. What is wrong with my memories!?"

Oh God. This was Yang!Iowa all over again!


	54. Rule 6388

_6388B. There was a breakout at one of the said laboratories and a single specimen escape. Find It!  
6388C. Apparently said Experiment had somehow one way or another reach Corregidor Naval Base while the Army Stationed there was trying to Summon a TankGirl.  
6388D. Please Welcome M-18 Wildcat Code Name Blake._

As Promised.

Delta Force Lt. Regan Rhodes stared at the once operational military laboratories, now it was a wreck to say the least. sheets of paper scattered, glass shattered, equipment in ruins, scientist laid on the cold hard floor unconscious or worst, dead.

Delta had received a orders from the President herself. There were scattered military labs that need to be immediately shut down and close for investigation and inspection for illegal experimentation. Everything was to be extremely confidential, a black ops. Given that some of this labs are near allied countries's waters the moment those allies catch wind of this, things could escalate very quickly. This was the case Lt. Rhodes found himself in. A Laboratory isle within the borders of Philippine jurisdiction as well as a few miles near the most disputed group of islands. Things couldn't be worst than this.

"Sir!" One of his men called out approaching him a folder in hand. "I think I found what they were doing here sir."

Apparently it just did. Rhodes sighed as he took the folder and gave it a once over not missing the large and bold words splayed infront.  
PROJECT Black Cat  
[TOP SECRET]

With another heavy sigh he began to read. As he flip the pages his face grew paler than before. He didn't like what he saw. he wish he didn't even read through it all.

"This is above our paygrade."

-0-

Her first memories... She barely remember it now. Of a happy family. Her indomitable father, her caring mother, her innocent self. Belladonna. That was her name. Like that of the flower. The Deadly Nightshade.

Next were of a Shadow. Hidden behind the Light. Fleeting and silent. A Guardian of the Night. An Assassin of Black.

Next were of Death and Destruction. Burning rage. A thirst for Revenge. Of the Abyss and its Horrors.

Then came the Darkness. Fear. Hopelessness. Her death... or so she thought.

The first time she was aware again she felt like an experiment. Something to be scrutinized under a microscope. She felt like a prisoner.

The next was her escape. A chance she took. Men fell easily enough with her strength. Destroyed everything. No one needs to know her existence. They should never know the monster they created.

Now here she was adrift. At the mercy of the tides. Death once again looming. Hunger. Cold. She felt weakening. Losing consciousness. Then came the light. An island. Somewhere she could take refuge.

The moment her boat reach shore with what little strength she had push inland. her blurry vision sought shelter and landed on a silhouette. She didn't know what it was but it was the best thing she could find. A small refuge. A safe place.

Safe... her last thought before drifting to sleep.

-0-

"You know I wonder what kind of drugs our superiors sniff everytime they give me orders." Lt. Col Knight sighed as he made his way to the shore behind him was his current assistant Yang!Iowa dutifully in step with him.

"Which superiors?" Yang!Iowa asked trying to not to laugh at the tired for of her commander.

"Both." He sighed as they finally arrived at their destination. A Tank Destroyer in the middle surrounded by soldiers in black BDU scurrying around resources and equipments in hand. He notice his friend and superior was among them and began his approach.

"Ghift!" Knight called out catching the man's attention. "There better be an explanation about this!"

"Yep." The man grinned pointing at the tank destroyer. "Orders were approve on the experimental summoning of a TankGirl."

"On Naval Grounds?" There something to be said about working with two different military branch. It's that they tend to disagree more time than they do agree even then there are quite a lot of stipulation and conditions attach. No wonder the Marines atleast the PH Marine Corp that is being shared by both Navy and Army have a hard time.

"Got both the Navy and the Army's approval right here." Just as he said he presented the signed documents complete with the undeniable signatures of both Naval and Army HQ.

"And what exactly spur this on if I may asked?" Knight asked eyes narrowing. He was no stranger to this kinds of situation and they tend to lean on the crazy side. He learned long ago never to stick it with the crazy.

"Reports of Tank versions of the Abyssals have been floating around. There have been records of battles with them as well." Ghift explained while showing a video of one such battle. Knight grimace at the video playing. The death and destruction it cause was nothing compared to the Abyssals but nonetheless it was still destructive.

"I can't say no after seeing that." Knight sighed as he looked at the gather material surrounding the Tank Destroyer. "Let's just get this done with."

"Thank you."

"Your still paying for the used resources." Knight ignored the pained look his friend sent his way in favor of concentrating at the experiment at hand. With a deep breath he started his chant. "Heed my Call..."

-0-

She awoke when there was something assaulting her mind. Memories not her own yet strangely familiar.

Images of a strange world. Of Her. Of fighting Darkness. Of friends she never met.

Then all she saw was light.

Then herself. A perfect copy. A mirror image. The image smiled. She smiled back.

"You are I. I are You."

"We are One."

"We are the Shadow."

The light washes over them.

-0-

"Did it work?" Yang!Iowa asked as she rub the stars from her eyes. The bright flash had momentarily blinded them all.

"I think so." Knight responded as he squinted trying to peek over the dimming source of light. And just as the last light faded there stood once was a large Hellcat is now a female figure kneeling.

"I am M-18 Hellcat Tank Destroyer. You can call me Blake." The moment she uttered her name Knight could feel an oncoming headache as well as feel the joyous smile spreading through Yang!Iowa.

"I might as well summon Ruby if this keeps up." He sighed as he watch the Blonde woman jump at the newly summon TankGirl. "Go for the Full set."


	55. Rule 6800

6800\. With the results of last week's paintball game in hand, we want to congratulate Ooyodo, Niyodo, Akashi, Mihara, Momotori, and the Yubari's on their win and ask why so many of you fell for the obvious trap they set.  
6800a. "It was literally a box that said free food! What did you think was going to happen?" the rest of the losing team.

Yokosuka.

"Ooyodo, Niyodo, I need the two of you for something." said Akashi as she burst into the secretaries' office.

"What is it?" asked Ooyodo, only for the repair ship to slam a poster down on her desk.

"Paintball. Next month." said Akashi. "We need two more players."

Both light cruisers glanced at each other for a split second before Ooyodo gave Akashi an answer.

"NO!"

"Please?" begged Akashi. "Our team has to be at least six players."

"We are not playing paintball." said Ooyodo. "We have too much to do. There's inventory, reports, we have to comply with Iku's latest indecent exposure complaint and.."

"I'll join." said Niyodo, cutting her sister off, to both Ooyodo's and Akashi's shock.

"But, but, _what_?" sputtered Ooyodo.

"You're serious?" asked Akashi.

"Sure. It'll be fun, and you're always saying that the two of us need to take more time off."

"But, what about all of the work we have to do?"

"Sis, we _have_ an accounting department. Granted, it at the moment consists only of Inazuma, Hibiki, Fubuki, and Shigure, but they can handle it for a day or two. Heck, they handled it for a month while we were unconscious."

"Come on, Ooyodo. Please?" pleaded Akashi, but the light cruiser held firm.

"Akashi, nothing you say is going to convince her." said Niyodo. "However, there _is_ something _I_ can do."

Ooyodo's expression suddenly turned fearful. "Sis, you promised you wouldn't do that ever again."

Niyodo simply took off her glasses and faced her sister.

"Please, no. You know I can't handle that."

Niyodo's normally serious expression transformed into what had to be one of the cutest and most adorable puppy dog faces Akashi had ever seen.

"Please, onee-sama, please?" she pleaded. "Pretty please? With cherries on top?"

Try as she might, Ooyodo's resolve shattered with those words, and she grudgingly nodded her affirmation to Akashi.

"Great! This is gonna be fun."

A month later...

Shoukaku sighed as she led her group to the water fountain. The carrier and battleship teams had been skirmishing for the past two hours for little gain, while the cruisers preferred to stay back and perform flanking shots. And the office workers, well, no one had actually seen them yet, so it was assumed they were either cowering in fear, or had simply surrendered.

"Next time, let's schedule one of these things for December. This vest is not made for summer." groaned Ryujo.

"I, Shinano, agree." panted the youngest Yamato.

"Is paintball normally like this?" asked Hakuryu.

"Not really. Last time, both teams went for the jugular immediately." answered Zuiho.

"And now that there's four teams, both Hiryu and Nagato went for the cautious approach." added Taiho. "Oh, look. The cruisers are here too."

The part of the base being used consisted of a few old warehouses and storage units, with only one functioning water fountain near the entrance. Realizing the need, especially for any humans taking part, to refill their canteens regularly, that part had been declared a neutral spot by all four team captains, to be manned by Hiei, Haruna, and their kids. After turning over their weapons and refilling their canteens, they all settled down for a brief chat.

"So how goes the war, Shoukaku?" grinned Ashigara.

"Oh, fine, Ashigara. I'll admit that ambush almost went perfectly. Almost." she retorted.

"Say, who's the one with the pink hair?" asked Haguro's boyfriend, on leave from Futenma.

"That's Akashi. Huh, didn't think her team was still in this." answered Haguro.

Everyone watched as Akashi dragged a huge cardboard box to the middle of the street. Checking to make sure she was in the clear, she held up a megaphone and yelled "Free Food!" at the top of her lungs before running back to cover.

'No one's gonna fall for that one, right?" asked Yonehara. "It's way too obvious a trap."

" _Food!"_

 _"Food!"  
_  
Everyone at the water fountain watched as the entire carrier and battleship teams ran towards the box, grabbed it and ripped it open. Immediately, all hell broke loose. The paint bomb inside the box went off, splattering at least a dozen girls. Before anyone could react, Akashi, Mihara, Momotori, Ooyodo, Niyodo, and the Yubaris' leapt out of their concealed positions with _miniguns_ in hand, cutting down any survivors.

Haguro was the first of her team to recover from the shock, just in time to notice Shoukaku lead her group out of the safe area with their hands up.

"Where are all of you going?"

"Surrender, then lunch." Taiho said simply.

A hour later, Goto proudly awarded the contest trophy to Akashi's team, who were celebrating happily at Hosho's.

"I'm not sure." said Goto in a low voice that only Kongou heard.

"Not sure about what?"

"Whether to be happy that those five pulled off a brilliant ambush, or saddened that all the rest of my fleet fell for a cardboard box marked free food."

While they talked, Akashi and Ooyodo were smiling as the rest of the team celebrated.

"So, I've finally found you're weakness." whispered Akashi.

"Using my own sister against me. That's a very low blow, _saihai_."

Akashi merely smiled. "You know what they say. All's fair in love and war."


	56. Rule 6827

6827\. Whoever summoned Akashi's battleship design, you'd better run. While Akashi's on the fence about whether to be pissed that you broke into her office and messed with her files, or happy that her creation's been brought to life, Ooyodo _is_ pissed.  
6827a. "Not only did you break into an office, spend a huge amount of resources, and trash the summoning chamber, you also ruined our date!" Ooyodo.

Yokosuka

"So, Natsushio, the top drawer is for patient records, the middle is for the summoning records, and the bottom drawer is for blueprints and upgrade plans." said Akashi, gesturing to the file cabinet in her office.

"What are the ones on the desk?" asked the destroyer.

"Hmm? Oh, those are just some designs I draw in my spare time."

"Really?"

"Yeah. In those rare moments when the infirmary's empty, it's a fun way to pass the time." said Akashi, picking up some of the sketches. "This ones' a ULCC I finished a few months ago, and the other's a LNG tanker."

"And this one?"

"Ah, this one I just finished the other day." said Akashi, unraveling the blueprints. "I decided to try my hand at a warship this time around, so I made in in essence an improved Kii-class. Same armament, but with radar, upgraded AA guns, and.." Akashi stopped as she saw Ooyodo walk into the waiting room outside her office, clearly looking stressed.

"You know what, Natsushio, why don't you go out to the waiting room for a few minutes? You can take those drawings if you want."

The destroyer nodded emphatically, and Akashi led her out of the office while gesturing for Ooyodo to come in. While Akashi closed the door, her girlfriend sagged into one of the chairs.

"I take it that the oversight meeting went well" said Akashi bemusedly.

"Oh, it went _great_. Just plain terrific." grated Ooyodo.

"What went wrong?" asked Akashi as she began to message her girlfriends' shoulders.

"Oh, just that the committee wants us to summon more battleships and carriers, despite the fact that they take up the most resources, aren't well suited for convoy escort, and thanks to those accidental summoning's, we actually have more battleships and carriers in service now than we did back in the war." sighed Ooyodo. "And it gets better. They then suggested what ships we should try to summon first."

"What'd they suggest? 111 and 797?"

"No, they didn't go quite that far. They stopped at the Kii's, Number 13's, and Ikoma's."

"Ah, so financial recession instead of full economic meltdown, yay."

"Yes. I'm just glad that the next meeting isn't for another six months. I might just recover in time."

"You know, why don't you and I go out tomorrow? We'll go to Hosho's, have a nice dinner, and then we'll can watch a movie, or relax, or maybe have a night battle.." Ooyodo cut her off with a playful slap.

"You're starting to sound a lot like Sendai, you know that?"

"I'm a repair ship of many talents." said Akashi as she kissed Ooyodo's forehead. "So, are you up for tomorrow?"

"Definitely." said Ooyodo, standing up. "Now all I have to do is figure out how to get another battleship summoned."

While the two of them talked, Natsushio looked at one of the blueprints next to her, an idea springing to mind.

 _The next day...  
_  
"So, feeling better?" asked Akashi.

"Yes, very." said Ooyodo as she sipped her tea. "We really need to do this more often."

"Well, remember, the night's not quite over just yet." said Akashi suggestively, causing Ooyodo to laugh.

"Oh, what am I going to do with you?"

 _Meanwhile...  
_

Natsushio glanced around the summoning room, checking to see that she was alone. Satisfied that no one was around, she placed the blueprints in the middle of the chamber and started the ritual. The room began to shake, and sparks flew from the supply cache to the paper, rapidly increasing until a bright flash engulfed the room.

Akashi and Ooyodo were just about to order when Akashi's phone rang.

"Hello? Oh, hi Mihara, what's up? Wait, slow down. She did _what_ to the summoning room?! Hang on, me and Ooyodo are on our way."

"What happened?"

"Apparently Natsushio decided to hold a private summoning ritual a few minutes ago." sighed Akashi.

"Oh, joy. More paperwork." groaned Ooyodo.

The two arrived at the summoning chamber to see Momotori berating Natsushio while Mihara was talking to another Kanmusu that neither of them recognized.

"Oh, sis, you're here. Sorry to interrupt your date, but I think you needed to meet our newest arrival." said Mihara, gesturing to the unknown shipgirl.

The stranger immediately went to parade rest as her eyes focused on Akashi. "Battleship Sakurajima reporting for duty, ma'am."

"Wait, Sakurajima?" asked Akashi, eyes widening. "Natsushio, did you summon my paper design?"

"Uh, yes." the destroyer stuttered. "I overheard the two of you talking yesterday about needing to summon more battleships, so I thought I could summon one to help out."

A couple hours later, the damage had been surveyed, Natsushio had promised to never hold another unauthorized summoning, and Sakurajima had gotten a preliminary check-up to ensure she didn't have any side effects from the summoning.

Akashi sighed. "Alright. It's late, and pretty much everyone else on base is asleep. I'll inform the Admiral tomorrow. Momotori, you take Natsushio back to her quarters, and Mihara, you take Sakurajima to the infirmary and put her in the cot in my office. I'll give her a full diagnostic and set up her living quarters tomorrow."

As everyone else left the room, Akashi turned to look at Ooyodo. "Sorry about tonight, _saihai_."

"It's alright, Akashi. Work always comes first, for both of us." sighed Ooyodo.

Before Ooyodo could say anything else, Akashi kissed her on the lips and held her close. 'You know, while it might not be as fancy as dinner, that other offer still stands."

Ooyodo smiled, and laughed a little. "Is this what you repair ships do? Kiss things and make it better?"

"Not usually, but based on my experience with a certain secretary ship, it can work wonders." said Akashi as she kissed her girlfriend once more.


	57. Rule 6894

6894\. Overly long ponytails and mobiles do not mix. That is all.

Yokosuka.

"Takao, are you sure this is a good idea?" asked Nachi nervously. " I mean, you know what happened last time."

"Good grief Nachi, Ami and Hotaru are still babies. Just because they started crying when you hold them doesn't mean they don't like you." said Takao. "They cry when either me or Myoko are holding them, same with everyone else."

"Yet everyone else has managed to hold them once or twice without any problem." pointed out Nachi.

Takao simply sighed. "That's more luck of the draw than anything else, Nachi. I'm not sure which one's worse: The fact that you think two out of your three nieces hate you, or that you think a pair of four month olds are capable of hating _anything_."

"But, every time.." Nachi began to say, only for Takao's expression to cut her off.

Takao opened the door to the nursery, and the two of them walked up to the crib. Makoto, Ami, and Hotaru were curled up next to each other, sound asleep.

"Maybe we should try this some other time." whispered Nachi. "They're all asleep and.."

"Wait for it." said Takao.

Sure enough, Ami's eyes opened, and she wiggled to get of better view of her mother and aunt.

"How did..?"

"She's been able to tell when someone opens the door for about a week now, and last night Myoko caught her trying to climb out of the crib." said Takao as she picked her daughter up. "Hello sweetie. There's someone here who wants to see you."

As Ami's lavender eyes focused on her, Nachi fervently wished she was anywhere else, preferably fighting an Installation type Abyssal. With a stick.

"Look. It's Auntie Nachi. You remember Auntie Nachi, right?" said Takao as she gently laid Ami in Nachi's arms. "See Nachi? Ami loves you just as much as the rest of us."

Nachi smiled nervously as Ami stared at her for felt like an eternity. However, Ami's mouth soon formed the closest thing to a smile a four month old could manage, and she started to wiggle in Nachi's arms in an effort to get closer.

"She likes me. She actually likes me." said Nachi, smiling.

Nachi and Takao spent the next ten minutes talking, until Ami started to fall back asleep. Nachi laid her in between her sisters and turned back to face Takao, but before she could step away, she felt a hand grab her hair. Looking back, she saw Ami, now fully awake, staring inquisitively at her ponytail. After a few minutes, Ami started batting her hair back and forth. As Nachi and Takao watched this with enthusiasm, Ami batted Nachi's hair up at full force, slamming it into both Nachi's and Takao's faces. The hair continued it's upward trajectory, eventually tangling itself on the mobile above the crib. Before, either Kanmusu could react, Nachi sneezed, snapping her hair back and taking the mobile with it, where it hit the floor with a thud. Shocked, Nachi and Takao could only stare at each other before Makoto, Ami, and Hotaru started wailing.

A few hours later...

"Cheer up, Nachi. It didn't go that bad." said Myoko as she gently rocked Makoto back to sleep.

"And, I think we can definitely say that at least Ami's a Kanmusu." added Takao, holding Hotaru.

"Yeah I guess so." said Nachi as she watched Ami's eyes flutter shut. "But, after today, I think I'll keep my hair pinned back when I visit."


	58. Rule 6962

6962\. Junyo is no longer allowed to make her "Love potion Number 9" sake ever again. We will not state the reason why.

Yokosuka.

"Maya-chan, are you sure about this?" asked Atago nervously.

"Of course. Doctor Mizuno thinks it will do us both a lot of good if we try out each other's favorite activities. Now, we've done dressmaking, so now we're doing something _I_ like to do."

"Getting drunk with Nachi?"

"Exactly." said Maya. "Look, you said it yourself that you need to let your hair down more often."

"And nothing does that batter than getting absolutely plastered." added Nachi as she handed out their drinks. "Come on, it'll be fun."

Atago eyed the drink in her hand for a moment before shrugging and taking a sip.

Three hours later...

"What do you mean there's no more alcohol?!" asked Maya.

"Yeah, what gives Mamiya? You've never run out before." added Nachi.

"I wasn't counting on the two of you bringing a friend, much less one who drinks as much as the two of you." said Mamiya.

"Sorry." hiccupped Atago.

"Not your fault, sis. Besides, I know where we can get some more." said Maya.

"Junyo?"

"Junyo. Let's go."

Mamiya watched the three cruisers stagger out of the bar, mentally reminding herself to order more alcohol for next Friday.

"We won't be waking her help, will we?" asked Atago.

"Nope. Hiyo's on a sortie, and Junyo keeps vampire hours." said Maya as she knocked on the carrier's door. "Hey, Junyo! You in there?"

Within a minute, the door opened, revealing Junyo carrying a vast assortment of tubes, glass, and what looked like a teapot. "Sorry girls. I'm working on the still tonight, and I didn't get a chance to make a new batch."

"You mean you don't have any alcohol either?" asked Atago, her face falling.

"No, I pretty much used it all when I took a break." said Junyo. "Actually, hold that thought."

Junyo went back into her room, rummaging through her shelves before she found what she was looking for. Grabbing it, she came back to the door and handed Nachi a small bottle.

"What's this?"

"Sake. I call it, "Love Potion Number Nine."

"Huh?"

"There were some Americans on the karaoke stage the other night, and that really was the only song they managed to sing."

"We'll take it.' said Maya. "Come on girls, let's go back to our room and enjoy this, what is it again?"

"Sake."

"Yes, that. Allons-y."

The next morning...

Atago groaned as she opened her eyes. _So, this is what they mean by being hungover_ she thought. She rolled over, intend to wiggle out of her bed when she bumped into something, something sporting a very familiar ponytail. Stunned, Atago backpedaled, only to bump into something behind her. Turning around, she saw Maya sleeping next to her, her hat over her eyes. Alternating her gaze between the two of them, Atago's still hungover mind came to a couple of surprisingly clear conclusions. One, she was definitely not dreaming, and two, neither she, Maya, or Nachi had any of their clothes on. Analysis complete, she had only one more thought before she fainted.

 _Uh-oh._


	59. Rule 7148

7148: We have existing rules about the consumption of sugary drinks for a reason so will whoever finds Bluenose and Gertrude L. Theabaud bring them immediately to the Admiral's office!  
7148a: "I've never seen a schooner move that fast, ever!"~ USCGC Tamaroa  
7148b: "They had flames shooting out behind them!"~ Acadia

Admiral Lombard twitched as she read over one of her stacks of paperwork. The quietness of her office had been periodically broken by some kind of ruckess outside. Knowing the base's main residents, it could be any number of things and none of which she was keen on getting involved in currently. She shrugged the noises off as part of her everyday life and went back to her work. This lasted for only a few minutes more before the noise got steadily louder. No longer able to focus, Lombard reluctantly rose from her desk and went to the window for a quick peak to determine if this ruckess was worth any attention or not.

There were several things she had expected to see (some of which she wanted to erase from her mind immediately in a vain attempt to hold onto her sanity) but seeing Bluenose and a visiting Yank, Gertrude L. Theabaud her mind supplied, engaged in some kind of all around contest involving a buffet table was not it. Bluenose, she was a schooner and well her antics went without saying. Theabaud wasn't that much better and given the history these two had, it was inevitable that some kind of contest would occur. But if it wasn't racing, then what were they up to. Knowing better than to leave the base's most notorious prankster unsupervised, Lombard gathered her things and made for the door. She had to know more about what was going on.

Outside...

Bluenose enjoyed her status as the undefeated Queen of the Grand Banks so when Theabaud approached her, challenging her for her title things got a mite bit personal. Only this challenge was different. Taking things straight to the race course would be the responsible option but these were schooners. Responsible was a communist term to them! So, the two agreed to stuff themselves on as much sugar as they could and then proceed to be shot out of a pair of cannons. Whoever stayed in the air the longest over the racecourse won. Or whoever crossed the finish line first, if they could fly that far. They were boats, not planes but it was Theabaud's idea and Bluenose, not keen on letting her biggest rival get the jump on her, agreed to it. Besides, she too was curious how this would turn out. Once their contest started, it was inevitable that the fleet would become involved. The few visiting Yanks cheered on their home girl like this was some kind of football match and the Yanks took their football as seriously as the Canadians took their hockey!

Stuffing themselves on cupcakes and ice cream washed down with some beep, the two schooners exchanged glances and grinned.

"Ready?" Asked Bluenose who could not keep still for a microsecond, constantly shifting one foot in front of the other. Everything around her seemed to move so slowly!

"Ready." Replied Theabaud and it was off across the field where a pair of old cannons that Bluenose had "borrowed" for an earlier prank sat. They'd been decommissioned on orders for the Admiral but Bluenose knew they still worked just fine. The recently summoned Tamaroa helped Theabaud into her cannon while Acadia got Bluenose in place.

"Let's do this!" The Yank grinned.

"Fire in the hole!" shouted Bluenose just as Admiral Lombard emerged from the building.

With a bang the two girls shot from the cannon so fast they were not much more than blurs. Flames streaked out over the ground under them that marked their path. Admiral Lombard ducked as the pair went straight overhead, still streaking flames behind them as they disappeared into the distance. She groaned, already seeing her paperwork load increase. "Track them!" She ordered Acadia as the research ship came up beside her. "When they land, I want to have _words!"_

"Yes ma'am." 


	60. Rule 7396

7396\. Girls, when your parents are seeing someone, it is natural to be curious, and perhaps a little protective. However, there _are_ some limits, such as aerial reconnaissance, wiretapping, and sonar.  
7396a. "But, we need to know if he's worthy of Haruna-mama!" -Haruna(DDH).  
7396b. "Yeah, what if he's a serial killer or something?"-Shirane(DDH).  
7396c. "Or worse, a clown?"-Kurama(DDH).  
7396d. "Why me?"-Hiei(DDH).

Yokosuka.

"Sisters, I call this meeting to discuss a matter of the utmost importance." said Haruna(DDH).

"What is it? Did Auntie Kongou and Uncle Goto finally make it official?" asked Shirane(DDH).

"Did Auntie Kirishima and Auntie Washington set a date?" added Kurama.(DDH).

"Actually, neither. Tell me, have any of you noticed anything different about Haruna-mama?"

Her sisters all looked at her, perplexed.

"Haven't any of you noticed that she's been extremely happy lately?" she continued. "How that smile of hers lights up any room instantly?"

"Onee-sama, no offense, but isn't Haruna-mama like that normally?" asked Hiei(DDH).

"Yes, imouto-chan, but she's been happier than normal for the last month or so, and I know why." said Haruna, pausing for effect. "Haruna-mama's in love!"

"What?!"

"With who!?"

 _Oh, no, I'd hoped it take them a little longer to figure that one out._ thought Hiei.

"That's the thing, I don't know who she's in love with.."

Hiei allowed a small breath of relief.

"so that's why we're gonna spy on her to find out who he is." finished Haruna.

Hiei's momentary relief vanished instantly, and as her three sisters discussed their plans, Hiei began to formulate one of her own.

 _The next day...  
_  
"Onee-sama, don't you think this is just a little overboard?" asked Hiei sweetly.

"Nonsense, Hiei-chan. The best way to find out who Haruna-mama is seeing is to have an eye in the sky." said Haruna as one of her SH-60Js took off towards Hosho's. "They'll never suspect a thing."

Hiei looked at the helicopter, trying to figure out a way to stop it. "Excuse me for a moment, I just realized I forgot something back home. I'll be right back."

Hiei ran to the open field next to the base, where Yudachi and her sisters were playing baseball.

"Yudachi-chan, could you do me a favor?"

"What kind of favor?" asked Yudachi.

"See that helicopter over there? Could you hit it with a baseball and make it look like an accident?"

"What's in it for me?" asked Yudachi innocently.

"I'll give half of my stash of leftover candy, including all the poifull."

Yudachi's eyes lit up. "You promise, poi?"

"Yes, just knock that chopper out of the sky!" she paused, calming herself. "Preferably without killing anybody or causing any property damage."

"Consider it done, poi." said Yudachi as she wound up her pitch. The ball went flying, slamming straight into the helo, sending it auto-rotating down.

"Oh, and if anyone asks, it was an accident, and I was never here."

"Sure, and the candy?"

"I'll either give it to you later today or tomorrow."

"Pleasure doing business with you, poi."

With that, Hiei took off back to her sisters, readying herself to deal with whatever crazy idea Haruna had cooked up next.

 _An hour later...  
_  
"OK, since recon was a bust, onto Plan B." said Haruna.

"Wiretapping!?"

"Yes, sister. Haruna-mama been calling someone at the same time everyday for the past week. It's got to be him, and since she uses the landline, Shirane-chan can wiretap it!"

"But.." Hiei started to say, but the look in her sister's eyes made her think better of it. "Actually, I'll be back in a second. Hiei-mama wanted me to help her with the dishes."

"OK, have fun." said Kurama.

Hiei ducked into her parent's room and pulled out her cell phone, sending a quick text to Hiei(BB), before dialing her landline.

"Shh, it's ringing." said Shirane.

"This is it." said Haruna, fist-pumping her sister.

"Wait, Hiei-mama just answered it. It's a telemarketer, and, oh dear."

"What?"

"Look's like Hiei-mama's interested in whatever this guy is selling."

"Great, there goes Plan B." said Kurama despondently.

"In that case, time for Plan C."

"I am not wiretapping Haruna-mama's cell."

"Fine then, Plan D."

 _  
The next day...  
_  
"Sonar, really?!" asked Hiei. "Girls, this is really going too far."

"No, it hasn't." said Haruna. "We need to know if he's worthy of Haruna-mama."

"Yeah," added Shirane. "what if he's a serial killer or something?"

"Or worse, a clown." finished Kurama.

Hiei panicked inwardly. She could handle Haruna's helicopters, and Shirane's technological expertise, but nothing on Earth could stop Kurama's ears. Unless...

"I'll be right back. I have to check my science project."

"Okay sis, bye."

"Anyone notice that as soon as Hiei-chan leaves, something happens to our plan?" asked Shirane.

"Eh, probably just sheer coincidence." said Haruna.

"Wait, I think I here something!" said Kurama. "It sounds like.."

"Like what, Kurama-chan?" a new voice asked. All three destroyers stopped dead in their tracks, and looked behind them, hoping that they hadn't heard what they just thought they heard. Of course, they had no such luck, for standing behind them was Hiei(BB), tapping her foot and looking very irritated.

"Girls, what did I say about spying on people?"

 _A few hours later.._

  
Hiei sighed as she plopped down on the sofa next to her daughter. "Well, it was bond to happen sooner or later."

Her daughter echoed her sigh. "Yeah, but I had hoped that it would take them a little bit longer to figure it out. The last thing the two of them need is for people to find out before they're ready to tell everyone."

"With any luck, we may have bought them a little more time." said Hiei. "The good news is that I think the two of them are almost ready to tell people."

"That's great. Haruna-mama really is in love with her."

"Speak of the devil." said Hiei as the two of them heard a car pull up to the parking space. Soon, two familiar Kanmusu walked into the room.

"Onee-san, Hiei-chan, you two are still up?" asked Haruna(BB). "Is everything alright?"

"Yeah, Hiei and I just had to keep the others from finding out too soon."

"So they know?" asked Haruna.

"Only that you're seeing someone. They don't know who it is though, Haruna-mama."

"It's just as well, _saihai_. Once my sister returns tomorrow, we were going to tell everyone."

Both Hiei's eyes lit up. "Wait, so that means.."

"The two of you are ready to make it official?"

"Yes." said Haruna as she ran her fingers through her girlfriend's brown hair. "We're in love, and we're ready to tell the world."

Her girlfriend's green eyes shined as she hugged Haruna. "Why stop there, _saihai_? I'm ready to tell the universe."

"Well, I think that calls for a celebration..." a yawn from her daughter cut Hiei off. "On second thought, how about I get you to bed?"

"I think that's a good idea, Hiei-san."

"We'll see you in the morning, hime-chan." said Haruna.

"Oh, and Hiei-chan?" said Haruna's girlfriend.

"Yes?"

"Thank you for keeping our secret."

Hiei hugged the two of them before going to her room and joining her sisters, smiling as she thought about what tomorrow would bring.


	61. Rule 7409

_Rule courtesy of AngryAmerican_

 **7409: No matter what someone did, do not try and recreate The Cask of Amontillado. Or any other Poe stories for that matter.**

Portland had passed mere _anger_. She had scrimped and saved for _weeks_ to get enough cash to buy some proper French wine from Jean Bart, that greedy frog. The real deal, direct from Europe, and all but impossible to get with the war on.

Then her _idiot_ roommate Macon had _stolen_ it and drank _all of it_.

But _now_ she would get even! She'd _show_ Macon what happened to _thieves_!

It took another week to get ready, the main component was as much bottom of the bin _swill_ that she could lay her hands on. Portland grinned. Macon, the simpleminded _fool_ , had taken the bait and gotten hammered on the hooch. The heavy cruiser was totally impaired.

"Hey, Macon?"

"Wha?"

"I've got some good stuff stashed if you'll follow me. We'll have a good old time."

The drunken Macon smiled, "You're the best Porty!"

Bristling at her hated nickname, Portland took Macon by the arm and led her out of their room, towards where she had gotten everything _ready_.

Properly enchanted shackles would have been too hard to come by, but a trip to a hardware store had supplied the parts for some improvised restraints. Macon was too drunk to notice as Portland attached the chains to her arms and legs, and even when she wrapped a couple loops around her body.

With the _drunken fool_ chained to the concrete walls of the basement, Portland started with the cinder blocks. She had closed more than half the hole before Macon even realized that she was trapped.

"What? What are you doing?"

"I thought you looked cold, so I'm going to close off the draft," Portland said evenly.

"No, you're lying!" Macon stumbled as she tried to get to the opening.

"Smart girl. Have fun in there!" Portland said cheerfully as she started on the last course of bricks.

"For the love of God Portland!"

"For the love of God indeed!" Portland replied as she slid the last cinderblock into place. She stepped back and admired her handiwork. The wall didn't look out of place at all down in the basement, meaning that no one would notice.

Humming a cheerful tune, Portland sauntered out of the basement and back to her room. She poured herself a small glass of wine, some decent stuff from California. Then she raised it to the ceiling.

"To Macon! May she rest in peace!"

Trapped men were screaming. Imprisoned in the dark, struggling to escape…

Pennsylvania awoke with a jolt. She sat up and rubbed her head, "Stupid nightmare…" The battleship reached for her glass of water, then she froze.

There was screaming.

She looked down towards the floor, where the sound seemed to be coming from. Pennsylvania got up and walked over to her roommate, Tennessee. She shook the other battleship awake, "Tennessee!"

"Uhhh… What do you want Pennsy?"

"Listen!"

Tennessee groggily sat up and looked around, "Sounds like screams."

"Yes! From downstairs!"

Tennessee grunted and got to her feet, "Alright, let's go see what's going on."

The two battleships left their room only to find an annoyed Nevada already in the hall. She turned to face the other battleships, "You hear it too?"

"Yeah," Pennsylvania replied as the three girls headed towards the stairwell. "I had a nightmare about Pearl that woke me up. Is Okey alright? I know she's had trouble with nightmares."

"Nah, her boyfriend got her some headphones that have been helping. Jeeze whoever this is has a set of pipes!"

The screams were much louder now, and were accompanied by what sounded like… chains?

Now they were in the basement. Tennessee switched on the lights and the battleships split up to search. After a few minutes, Pennsylvania stopped in front of a bare cinderblock wall. The screams had switched to sobbing, sobs that were coming from behind the wall. Pennsylvania brought her arm back and punched through the cinderblocks. In just a few seconds she had demolished the wall and could see inside.

"Macon?"

The heavy cruiser was down on her knees, chained to the wall by her arms, legs, and by chains around her waist. Tears were streaming down her face as she looked up at Pennsylvania. "Help me…"

"Jeeze," Pennsylvania said as she started working on removing the chains, "Who did this to you?"

Sniffling, Macon said, "I-it was Porty. A while back I s-stole some wine from her. I didn't know h-how important it w-was to her. I was going to get her more, but it was g-going to take me a while."

By now, Nevada and Tennessee had gathered outside the hole in the wall. Tennessee cleared her throat, "I'll get some MPs and deal with Portland. I'll let you two figure out what to do with Macon here."

"I'll get her to the docks, she needs to sleep this off I think," Pennsylvania said as she positioned herself to help Macon walk. "Nevada, would you give me a hand?"

"Yeah."

 **A short while later,**

Portland looked up as someone knocked on her door. Who could be here at this hour?  
"Come in!"

She blanched as Tennessee stalked in, rigging on, and flanked by a pair of humorless MPs. The battleship glared down at the cruiser, "You're coming with us. Admiral Briggs will hear about this tomorrow, and until then you're going to the brig."  
Portland nodded, eyes glued to the barrels of Tennessee's 14'' guns. She raised her hands.

Briggs could feel his blood pressure rising as Tennessee told him what had happened the night before. On one hand, Portland had apparently tried to kill Macon. On the other, once she sobered up, Macon could have gotten out with a trivial effort.

"What does Portland have to say?"

"She claims that she only did it to teach Macon a lesson. And she would have to know that Macon could get out pretty easily."

Briggs sighed, "You know what? She's going to stay in the brig for a week, and I'm going to rescind her alcohol privileges. Kerstin?"

"Yes?" Brigg's secretary ship, the auxiliary ship Kerstin poked her head in.

"I'll need the phone numbers and addresses for every liquor store around you can find. Every place that even sells the stuff. Portland won't be getting any for a while."

"Alright, sir!"

Briggs nodded at Tennessee, "Alright, dismissed."


	62. Rule 8117

_The next 9 rules are courtesy of Falkeno. If you haven't read his magnificent Belfast snips then do so. You can find them on his profile page._

 **Rule 8117. Never ask Belfast about her mining incident or request to see the resulting scars.  
**  
Belfast sighed as she looked out at the peaceful waters of Scapa Flow, no Vanguard blowing stuff up, no destroyers causing mayhem, for once it was a peaceful day.

"Ahem", came a voice from behind which jolted Belfast back to the present, turning she saw the carrier Courageous standing behind her, holding a rather large book.

"What can I do for you Courageous?" Belfast asked, trying to hide the fact that Courageous was spoiling the moment, peaceful days were a rarity.

"Well, I was wondering about something, you know how we felt the pain from damage inflicted on us when we were ships?" Courageous replied, pausing to let Belfast respond, Belfast meanwhile was presuming that Courageous was going to ask her about one of her sister's many injuries, and was preparing an appropriate response regarding whoever Courageous was going to ask her about but gave a nod of agreement. "Well I was just doing some reading and I was wondering how you felt when your back got brok-" Courageous continued, only to be suddenly stopped by Belfast's fist impacting her face at high speed, which propelled the nearly 20,000-ton carrier in an impressive arc until she landed in an ungraceful heap a good 30 meters away, stone cold unconscious.

"Fucking Bitch!" Belfast snarled, her voice slipping back into her Belfastian accent, as she stalked off back to her room, she needed a drink.

"Hey, Belfast quick request for you?" Asked Royal Oak, staring at the notoriously aloof cruiser.

"What?" Belfast queried tiredly, having just gotten back from escorting another Arctic convoy, Belfast just wanted to get to her room and sleep off the exhaustion caused by the cold, stress and days of work associated with said convoy route, but the visiting Revenge class was blocking her way, so she was hoping this would be quick.

"Well, Warspite showed me some of her scars when she was last here and I heard about what happened to you, so I was just wondering if I could see your back because you should have an impressive one since you broke your ba-" Royal Oak explained only to be interrupted by Belfast's hand clamping itself around her neck, and despite weighing a lot more than the cruiser, being lifted into the air.

"What did you just say?!" Belfast growled, any tiredness in her voice gone, and as Royal Oak alarmingly noticed her eyes had darkened to a murderous grey.

"Eep" Was all Royal Oak could offer, the lack of airflow wasn't helping.

"That's what I thought you said" Belfast snarled as she carried the terrified Battleship to a nearby workshop, she needed to let off some steam.

Admiral Collingwood looked at the unconscious form of Courageous, a massive and rather painful looking bruise covering her face, before turning his gaze to the Bandaged and thankfully comatose form of Royal Oak, reminding himself to have logistics order more sedatives, he knew exactly who was responsible, from the book found near Courageous and the ramblings of a clearly traumatised Royal Oak before the sedatives had taken hold, that was in no doubt, and in his opinion the pair of them deserved it under the circumstances, but atleast there were very few ships who didn't know about Belfast's incident and after what had happened, they wouldn't be stupid enough to ask, in this situation there was only one thing to do.

"Georgie, I think its time for another entry on the list" He sighed turning to the battleship standing next to him, who nodded in agreement, she wasn't stupid either, "And then I need a drink, when Graham hears about Oak he's going to tear me a new one" he added, again another nod.  
 **  
Rule 8117a. And don't go asking any of her sisters, they're not as bad as Belfast, but not by much.  
**  
Admiral Hartmann looked at the tared and feathered form of Königsberg, lying trussed up, gagged and giving him the biggest eyes possible, then at the cruisers Birmingham, Newcastle and Gloucester, the former pair holding near empty sacks of feathers, the latter an empty can of tar, before letting out a large sigh.

"Let me guess, Belfast?" He asked, receiving nods from the three Towns, Hartmann quickly processed this information and gave a fitting response "Eh, could have been worse" he shrugged, which received him a surprised look from Königsberg, "But you three are on a warning, and get her cleaned up" He added pointing to the shocked form of Königsberg, before turning on his heel and headed back to his office, he needed to make amendment the list.


	63. Rule 8145

**Rule 8145. Yes, we are aware that Belfast has a hip-flask of navy rum, No we are not confiscating it!.**

"ADMIRAL!" came a bark, which caused Admiral Collingwood to curse his past self for taking this posting over a nice comfy frontline commission, maybe if he stayed quiet they'd think he wasn't there, that plan however immediately fell apart as his door was violently thrown open, HMS Conway, causing Collingwood to wish for a sudden Abyssal attack, preferably concentrated on the HQ building, as ship-girls went Conway was known as the British Coral Sea, only about three times worse, that was training ships for you. "Admiral I want to report a serious breach regulations and demand that the offendant is severely punished" She demanded, her face giving Collingwood flashbacks to his days in basic training, she really had mastered her drill instructor persona perfectly.

"What is the charge?" Collingwood asked half-heartedly, wondering who he was going to have to deal with today, hopefully not Vanguard, she caused him enough headaches already. Conway simply gave a shark-like smile, before slamming down a folder she'd been carrying, before opening it to reveal what looked like a really large and boring report.

"The charge is that Cruiser HMS Belfast C35, Is in the possession of an illegal Hip-flask containing, containing an illegal substance, which has been banned in the Royal Navy since the 31st of July, 1970, I hereby request that the offendant is charged and punished" Conway smirked, clearly she was enjoying this, Collingwood however simply took a deep breath, and in one fluid motion closed the folder and dumped it in the bin, not breaking eye contact with Conway the whole time.

"Conway, I am aware of the flask of Rum Belfast has, and I don't care about it for three reasons, firstly when we were having issues regarding the rum-ration with the fleet, it was discovered that Belfast was the only one who didn't require Alcoholics anonymous, but counseling for stress as a result of dealing with the shennanigans that go on around her, which she drinks to cope with as she is possibly the only sane one around here, secondly she only drinks off-duty, which dosen't affect her performance in combat in the slightest and finally, when she does drink she appears to have an alcohol tollerance which puts many hardend drinkers to shame, probably something to do with being Irish" Collingwood explained, Conway however redfaced, "So no, I am not going to have her flask and its contents confiscated as the last thing I need is a stressed out cruiser, within a thousand miles of any of Vanguards more volatile creations" he continued.

"Well if you won't do anything about it, I'll have to deal with it myself" She snarled, turning to leave only to have Collingwood catch her arm mid-action.

"Conway, I'm going to tell you this only once, do not screw with Belfast, she may only be a cruiser, but she is capable of taking on a battleship and winning, and she doesn't scare easily, and if you try to push her around, she will push back a lot harder, so drop this whole thing right now and save your self a lot of trouble" Collingwood begged, he knew exactly what was coming and after the last Belfast related shit-storm, he didn't want another.

"Pah, relax Admiral I can handle her" She snarked, before wrestling her arm free and stormed off, looking for a certain cruiser, Collingwood meanwhile simply returned to his desk, picked up the phone, and called the repair shop to inform them to expect Conway before the end of the day, before reaching under his desk to grab his emergency bottle of whisky, he was going to need it.


	64. Rule 8190

**8190\. Any attempts to summon shipgirls who were never laid-down are to be first authorised by the resident admiral.**

Vanguard looked at the machinery before her, it was a rather impressive set-up by all accounts, it had taken months to recreate the machinery that had almost landed South Dakota in a brig, but had given Shimakaze three sisters in the process, It was an impressive accomplishment by all accounts, but like any good mad scientist Vanguard could see room for improvement, namely if you could make new shipgirls from an existing one, why couldn't you make a new shipgirl using a combination of shipgirls; now anyone rational would have shot down the idea then and there, but Vanguard had perciviered and had come up with a possible candidate to make an attempt at.

"Ok then lets start, all resources accounted for?" she said aloud, glancing at the piles of specially treated bauxite, ammunition of the correct calibre and barrels of fuel, which she had quietly acquired over the months she'd been recreating the machinery, she'd learned that lesson from South Dakota, "Check, consultants familiar with the planned equipment?", she queried, looking at the assembled group of fairies on the monitor next to her, which she had persuaded to assist her in this endeavour.

"Desu" chorused the fairies in response, they had refused to attend in person, partly due to not wanting to be missed, but mostly due to the last experiment ending in a colossal explosion.

"Finally, the necessary ingredients for the experiment" she declared, looking at the three samples in front of her, all three having been chemically engineered to be compatible with one another, and in one case augmented to make up for a deficiency in the original, "Firstly the base, the ever-reliable King George V class" she noted, pouring the sample into the solution before picking up the next sample, "Next the armament, a sample of the Nelson class, modified to be superior to the original" she continued, again pouring the mixture into the now bubling solution, "Finally, to bring the whole thing together, and make it just that little bit better, a bit of me" she mused as she poured the final sample into the frothing concotion of King George and modified Nelson Battleship DNA, which settled once Vanguards DNA was added, causing Vanguard to smile, her theory was correct, "Good, now lets begin" she beamed as she hit the lever to distribute the solution in to the six holding tanks, with that done Vanguard fliped up the saftey cover on the button, which if she was right, create a force which could rival any Iowa or Yamato in a fight, "Well, I'd like to say something profound or inspiring, but fuck that and lets do something awesome" she declared, pressing the large red button, and watched with gleeful interest as the process began".

Admiral Collingwood stormed out of the command building, Vanguard had gone too far this time, he'd put up with the constant explosions, and the neverending headaches from said explosions but repeating South Dakota's infamous cloning experiment was the straw which had broken the camel's back, now he was going to deal with her himself.

"Ok, when we get Vanguard, she is mine!" he barked at the assembled force of shipgirls, most of Scapa's heavy units were away but there was still enough firepower here to take on the renegade battleship, "George, York and Belfast are with me, the rest of you I want on the perimeter, don't let her get away!" he ordered storming off towards the pillar of purple lightning shooting out of the top of Vanguards distant workshop, his shipgirls falling in behind him, he'd picked George and York because they could hold Vanguard off, whilst he and Belfast gave Vanguard the beating she deserved, Collingwood had taken some lessons from Goto and Holloway in dealing with Abyssals and unruly shipgirls and was eager to try them out, and Belfast was probably the only one above battleship tonnage who could deal with a battleship with any degree of confidence.

"Hey Admiral, I'd offer you some dutch courage but you seem like you don't need it" Belast mentioned, holding up her flask of rum, the same flask which had put Conway in traction, seeing this Collingwood snatched the flask, emptied a good amount into his mouth, before handing it back to the amused cruiser, "I'll drink to that" she added, taking a gulp of her own.

"VANGUARD!" Collingwood bellowed as he kicked open the door to Vanguard's lab, Vanguard paled as she saw the force which had been sent to oppose her, King George V and Duke of York were bad, Belfast was worse, but the look of murderous fury on Collingwood's face and the stories of Goto and Holloway was terrifying, quickly she glanced at the monitor showing the progress of the procedure, 96% and climbing quickly, it was a good think she'd made some improvements to the process, namely the ammount of time taken.

"Ok, I know I'm in trouble but can't we wait until this is finished?" she asked, throwing a thumb back at the machines behind her, as she angled the screen away from her opponents with her other hand, she just had to stall them a little longer.

"What the fuck Vanguard, we've already banned cloning, so your not getting a break like Dak, especially since your trying to give yourself six sisters!" George growled, taking a step forward, Vanguard meanwhile could only raise an eyebrow, clearly, they couldn't imagine the brilliance of what she was doing.

"Really, that's what you think I'm doing, what I am doing can give us an advantage the Abyssals can't deal with, what I am doing can help us and our allies, what I'm doing..." Vanguard declared, only to be cut off by a loud ding, signalling the procedure was done, and then the resulting whine of the power supply about to explode.

"GET DOWN!" Belfast screamed as she tackled Collingwood to the ground, George and York following suit, Vanguard, however, was too slow and so caught the full force of the blast. Collingwood ears ringing, throat burning found himself being pulled to his feet by a smouldering Belfast, a trail of blood running down her forehead, "You ok sir?" she asked, her accent returning back to her native Belfast one.

"Better than Vanguard" he replied dismissing his condition, Vanguard was embedded in the opposite wall, knocked completely unconscious, the sound George and York, hauling themselves off of the floor drew Collingwood's attention back to the present "George, York get Vanguard down, Belfast deal with that wound" he ordered, before turning his attention to the other six rather confused looking shipgirls in the room "and as for you lot I need you to, to, toooooo..." Collingwood trailed off as he realised that A) he'd never seen these ship girls before, B) they looked like a cross between the King George's and Vanguard, and C) they were standing where the machine used to be. The Six girls in question, noticing Collingwood for the first time, quickly stood to salute the confused Admiral.

"HMS Lion sir, lead ship of the Lion class Battleships" Spoke one of them, one with ash coloured blonde locks stepping forward.

"HMS Temeraire, Second ship of the Lion class, ready for orders," said another one, this one with long jet black hair.

HMS Conqueror, Third ship of the Lion class, glad to finally be of use, sir" another one declared, moving a strand of red hair out of her eye.

HMS Thunderer, Fourth ship of the Lion class, looking forward to some action" cheered yet another one as she sprang forward, her bright blonde hair a clear indication of her energetic nature, leaving just two lions left to introduce themselves one with copper coloured hair, the other with hair best described as chestnut, except they were both looking rather awkward.

"We don't have names" the redhead explained.

"We were cancelled before we got ones" the brunette continued, which didn't surprise any of the shipgirl's present, most people only knew about the first four Lions, people tended to forget about the last pair.

"How about Monarch, and Princess Royal?" Belfast offered, pointing to the redheaded one and the brunette in turn, receiving confused glances from her comrades, "What?, they need names", she explained, the two shipgirls in question however, could only grin at Belfast's words.

"HMS Monarch, Fifth ship of the Lion class, and proud of it!" Beamed the redhead.

"HMS Princess Royal, Sixth ship of the Lion class, happy to be of service" grinned the brunette, Admiral Collingwood meanwhile was still trying to process the fact that Vanguard had somehow gotten the entire Lion class, and working out how he was going to deal with the fallout, namely every Admiral demanding him to tell them exactly how the hell Vanguard had done it, no doubt Hartmann would be leading the questioning, the man wouldn't rest until he had the H-class battleships, at least, rightnow though he had two rather more pressing concerns.

"Welcome, I'm Admiral John Collingwood, commander of Scapa Flow, this is my trusted second in command HMS King George V, now if you'll excuse me I have a list to update" He explained before sprinting for the command building, he had to get a drink, fast!.

"A list?" Lion asked as they watched the Admiral running like a man possessed.

"We'll explain later, now a little help?" York explained as she tried in vain to free Vanguard from the wall.


	65. Rule 8204

**8204\. Just because we can now summon shipgirls that were never built, doesn't mean you should summon them en mass, especially if you don't have enough shipgirls to train them.**

When Admiral Hartmann had learned about Vanguard's experiment, he'd taken the first flight to Scapa Flow to interrogate Collingwood and Vanguard, once she'd woken up, in how the hell she'd done it; it had taken some well-placed threats and a lot of whisky, but they'd eventually given him what he had wanted, after which all that remained was to order Gneisenau to immediately begin construction of the necessary machines, giving her a blank check with which to do so. The man had demanded not just the H-class battleships, but the three O-class battlecruisers as well. Bismarck had at first loved the idea of more heavy units, only having 4 battleships meant they got very little downtime, so any more hands was a tantalising prospect, that was until they realised that they didn't know the first thing about combat, or gunnery, or for that matter being ships, which meant that they had to be taught pretty much everything.

"Ok, so what did we learn this time?" Bismarck growled as she glared at the shipgirls before her, of the operational 4 battleships in Germany, only herself and Scharnhorst were either qualified or not worn out from a week of constant construction and chemistry, Hartmann had really pushed Gneisenau to complete the process, to the point that she was currently in a 3-day long coma, with no end in sight in the short term. Hutten, the lead ship of the H-class, raised her hand.

"That we should make sure the line of fire is clear?" she offered giving Bismarck an innocent look.

"THAT WOULD BE A START!" Snarled Scharnhorst, covered entirely in paint, Bismarck meanwhile looked down the line of ships, next to Hutten stood her sisters Berlichingen, Hindenburg, Hannover, Friedrich der Große and Thuringen all looking rather sorry for themselves, and next to them the O-class Battlecruisers, Mackensen, Derfflinger and Von der Tann.

"That we should make sure that all our guns are pointed the right way before we fire?" Von der Tann pleaded under the death stare Derfflinger was fiving her, a large blob of paint in the centre of her chest, Bismarck's view however settled on Thuringen the youngest of the H-class, who looked as guilty as possible.

"That we should make sure that we load the correct type of ammunition" she whimpered, receiving confused looks from everyone present.

"What do you mean the correct type..." Bismarck began only to be cut off by a large explosion behind her.

"Ooh, how about that we shouldn't practice gunnery near the base" Mackensen deadpanned as another one of the supply buildings detonated in a cloud of smoke, "especially near the munitions stockpiles" she added.

A week after having most of the port of Wilhelmshaven burned to the ground, Admiral Hartmann found himself on a video call with every other senior shipgirl commander, most of whom glaring at the German Admiral, who was trying not to look at them, but finally, he had to speak to them.

"Ok, so I went a bit overboard" Hartmann offered, trying not to make eye contact.

"Overboard, Erich you tried to summon the entirety of plan fucking Z, hell when Bismarck found you, you were more focused on finding out how to get the carrier Europa than the fact your base was burning to the ground" Goto barked, not the slightest bit happy that Hartmann's antics had nearly torpedoed his own plans to summon the Ibuki class and the B-65 super cruisers.

"Yeah that stunt meant Congress only allowed us to summon Montana on a trial basis, at this rate, It's going to take months to get the rest of them, and don't start me on the other three Alaska's" Holloway growled, each word filled with venom.

"Hey don't blame me, Collingwood should have told us that they needed to be trained entirely" Hartmann snapped back, drawing attention to the British Admiral, who was the only one in the call not glaring at Hartmann, However as soon as Hartmann tried to draw the blame off of himself, his face morphed into a smile that would have made the Cheshire cat jealous.

"The reason Erich is that A) You were too busy trying to get information on the process out of me, that you missed me telling you that they needed full training in pretty much everything, and B) I didn't summon more ships than I could handle, You have 4 battleships at most, one of which was in a coma because you made her work 24/7 to get you what you wanted, and another which spent most of her time stuck in a fjord, never seeing combat, and you know how hard training a battleship is, since you had to train said battleship after she was summoned" Collingwood explained, pauding to catch his breath, "Where as I've got George training Lion and Temeraire, Conqueror and Thunderer are bein trained by Duke of York, and Hood and Belfast are training Monarch and Princess Royal" he continued.

"Wait why is Belfast training Monarch and Princess Royal?, Hood I get, But Belfast is a cruiser, is it because of North Cape? Graham asked, the last point catching his attention.

"No actually, well yes but Monarch and Princess Royal seem to adore her, hell they act like she's their mother sometimes, probably because she named them" Collingwood replied, causing Hartmann to give him a confused look.

"They haven't acted like that to me and I named them, what makes me different?" Hartmann Demanded.

"Maybe because she didn't hand them their names on pieces of paper, before ordering Bismarck and Scharnhorst to start training them" Masson mused, as she leafed through the report Gneisenau had compiled after she'd regained consciousness.


	66. Rule 8218

**8218\. Will someone, please tell Phoenix that Conquerer (1939) is not the same as Conquerer (S48).**

It was a surprisingly quiet day in San Diego, mostly down to South Dakota being in the process of giving her trashed lab a well-deserved spring clean, aided not by Phoneix who had made herself scares at the prospect of cleaning, fortunately, her sister Alabama had just returned from shelling an Abyssal base in the Carribean and had offered to help clean, whilst filling her in on any gossip she'd heard from the British battleships she'd been working with.

"So then after we'd dealt with the defensive fleet, we shelled the place into the ground, you should have seen it, Duke of York hammering the place with her rapid firing 14's, and then there were the two new Lions accompanying her, I'm mean wow, they can do some damage, I wonder what they have been like if they'd actually been built" Alabama explained as she tied a knot in another bag of trash, before placing it in a dustbin that South Dakota had bought over for the rubbish.

"Yeah I heard about them, I can't believe Vanguard pulled it off, I mean six battleships is one hell of a trick; Which two were accompanying Duke of York?" South Dakota asked as she picked up yet another of her projects, examined it and placed it amongst the ones destined for scrap.

"Hey guys, hows the cleaning going?" Announced Phoniex as she stepped into the lab, placing her toolbox on her still trashed workbench, South Dakota wasn't cleaning up her mess.

"Eh fine without you, I was just telling Dak about the Thunderer and Conquerer, you know the two new..." Alabama explained, only to trail off as she noticed Phoniex turn white as a sheet, "Phoniex are you ok?" she asked, concerned as to the state of the cruiser.

"Conq, conqu, con, conq" Phoniex stuttered before her eyes seemed to bulge out of the sockets, and Phoenix ran out of the lab "CONQUERER!" she screamed at the top of her lungs, as she ran like her life depended on it, leaving South Dakota and Alabama very confused.

"Was it something I said?" Alabama questioned, South Dakota didn't reply however, instead she pulled out her phone to look for an answer, one quick Wikipedia search was all she needed.

"So let me get this straight, Phoenix found out about the battleship Conquerer and has confused her with the submarine that sank her" Holloway concluded, South Dakota simply nodded, "And she has hidden herself in her room and kidnapped Collett and Borie as well" Holloway continued, again another nod from South Dakota, Holloway his quiet day now spoilt gave in to temptation, and let his head fall against his desk, "Wright, send in Heerman to explain that this isn't the Conquerer that sank her, and if that fails, send in the rest of taffy 3, just tell them not to hurt Phoenix but to at least get Collett and Borie back, the coasties can't breach the room with them inside" he sighed, sometimes he wondered if life really hated him.


	67. Rule 8263

**8263\. Just because the Town class are big for light cruisers, do not call them fat! the only thing 'light' about them are the calibre of their guns, and they know how to use them.**

"So how was your trip over here, no trouble with the Abyssal's I presume," Kongo asked the visiting British shipgirls, Edinburgh and Sheffield as she poured them each a cup of specially brewed black tea, before giving a questioning look at the other visiting ship, Belfast who was standing nearby focusing on her phone and drinking a mug of something, rather than the tea party Kongo had put on, "are you sure you wouldn't like a cup of tea?, It's very nice" She quired, hoping to get the notoriously aloof cruiser to join in.

"No thanks, I've got coffee, never really liked tea anyway" Belfast replied holding up her mug to clarify the point, Kongo shuddered at the thought, she preferred the sweet and flavorful taste of a good cup of tea, to the bitter taste of coffee, however before she could push the issue, Sheffield piped up.

"Sorry about her, she's not exactly the best person at parties" Sheffield explained, before turning to stare at her youngest sister, "Not anymore" she muttered under her breath so that no one could hear, before returning her attention to Kongo, "but yes we didn't have any trouble with the Abyssal's, It was actually a quiet trip" Sheffield continued.

"That's good to hear, they can be annoying from time to time" Maya noted as she drank her own cup of tea, normally Kongo's sisters would have joined her but Kirishima was off visiting Washington, and what they were doing together was for them to know only and Hiei was dealing with the fallout of Haruna being subjected to Iku's talk, Kongo still had to teach that lewd marine a lesson.

"Yes they can be a pain, but they've been quiet recently though, probably up to something" Myōkō mused, before noticing Edinburgh reaching to take one of the cakes on offer, "Careful how many cakes you eat" she noted, causing Edinburgh to freeze mid-action, before glaring at Myōkō.

"Excuse me? what do mean I need to be careful about how many cakes I eat" Edinburgh questioned, a hint of anger in her voice, Sheffield was looking cross as well, with everyone watching what was happening around the table, nobody noticed Belfast slip away, she knew what was coming and for once didn't want to get involved in a family related incident.

"Well you are a big for light cruisers, you could do with losing some weight" Myōkō explained, Maya nodding in agreement, as Kongo felt like the temperature in the room had dropped to sub-zero, and the looks of utter fury on Sheffield's and Edinburgh's faces was the kind of scene that caused monsters to hide, the silence was total, and then Sheffield broke it.

"GET THEM!" Sheffield screamed as she launched herself at Maya, followed by Edinburgh leaping at Myōkō, Kongo meanwhile quickly tried to break-up the brawl.

"Now girls, please can you stop fighting I'm sure if we talk about this we can..." Kongo began, only to be stopped mid-sentence by a defected punch from Sheffield striking her in the face, knocking her someways back "Ok now its on!" she barked as she dove into the fray.

Fubuki sighed as she strolled towards the dorm shared by the Kongo sisters, the paperwork she'd had to deal with today had been larger than usual, mostly it was complaints about Junyo and Chitose's latest binge, but now she was free to enjoy one of Kongo's tea parties, some cake and tea would do her some good; however as she reached the building in question, she noticed a shipgirl walking the other way quickly, more puzzling was that the shipgirl was one of the British cruisers's that Kongo was hosting her tea party for, and by the fact that this one was wearing a radically different and more modern looking outfit, told Fubuki that this was the legendary figure of Belfast, so why she was walking away from the party was a mystery.

"Hey your Belfast, shouldn't you be at Kongo's tea party?" Fubuki asked, causing the cruiser to stop in her tracks, evidently, she hadn't noticed Fubuki in her haste.

"If by tea party you mean the brawl going on back there, I think it's in both of our interests to steer clear of it" Belfast explained, thumbing in the direction of Kongos dorm, Fubuki however simply looked puzzled, "Myōkō called my sister's fat, they didn't take it well, so I made my escape before the shit hit the fan" she continued, which didn't clear up Fubuki's confusion.

"Wait, what do you mean Myōkō called your sister's fat? besides what could two light cruisers do, especially when Kongos there" Fubuki queried, only to receive an answer in the form of Maya's battered head being shoved through the wall.

"HELP ME!" was all Maya could scream before she was pulled back into the building, and with the hole know there, Fubuki could now hear the sounds of Sheffield and Edinburgh dishing out a beating.

"Yeah, us towns might be classified as light cruisers, but we're technically heavy cruisers in terms of size and firepower, and our armours not bad either" Belfast pointed out, as the sounds of crockery breaking echoed out from the building, "I'd suggest we wait until they've calmed down before we call the MP's, until then I don't suppose there's a bar nearby, I need a fucking drink" Belfast continued turning her attention back to Fubuki, "and as your Goto's XO, and since I know what someone looks like when they need a drink, I'd suggest you join me" Belfast added, Fubuki meanwhile just listened to what Belfast said, weighed up her options and came to a decision she thought was best.

"Yeah come on, Hōshō's isn't far, and after its calmed down we'll get Ooyodo to send in the MP's, the Admiral will just things worse!" Fubuki concluded, as she led Belfast to Hōshō's, Belfast was right, she needed a drink.


	68. Rule 8456

**Rule 8456. Fairy fight club is hereby banned, especially as we've discovered that HMS Kenya is in the possession of a certain fairy.  
**  
Deep within one of the supply buildings, away from the prying eyes of Admiral Collingwood, a group of shipgirls gathered around a makeshift fight ring, only on a smaller scale; Kenya mentally fought to keep her facial emotions in check, she couldn't let anyone know what she had planned, or her plan would fail out of the gate.

"So Kenya, ready to lose again!?" Centurion teased as she noticed her presence, Kenya mentally cringed at the memories of her last fight she'd put a fairy in, he was still in her sickbay and the fight had been 3 weeks ago.

"No, I've actually got a new candidate for this match, what have you got for me?" Kenya replied, keeping an optimistic expression on her face, she couldn't fail now, she had lost too much money since discovering Fairy fight club, she had to make some money back at least, but this plan was going to make her a lot more money than she'd lost.

"Well as your late, I've only got a 3 on 1 match for you, hope your sick bays ready" Centurion answered as Kenya made a sighing sound, this was usually the worst option as the fights went, which was why no one wanted to be the last one here, at least until Kenya had discovered her secret weapon, which was why she had been the last one there deliberately.

"I guess if that's all there is, I'll take it" Kenya replied, faking the disappointment in her voice, she wasn't going to need her sick bay for this match.

"That's the spirit, just remember all weapons are allowed except firearms, that's the only rule of fairy fight club, well after the 'nobody talks about fight club' rule" Centurion reminded her as she moved to take her position as the commentator, Kenya mentally smiled, her fairy didn't need guns.

Hours went past as the fairies duked it out, to the unobservant the whole event looked like a cockfight, but the faires were all willing participants and not being forced into it what so ever, and faires were impossible to kill, even if they took a direct hit from a shell, all that happened was that they ended up in the shipgirls medical bay until they recovered; finally though the match Kenya had been waiting for all night came up.

"Ok Girls, last match of the night, and you know what that means" Centurion announced, as the ring was cleared of the carnage of the previous match, the shipgirls gathered all grinned, apart from Kenya who was still keeping up her act "Its time for the 3 on 1, and today's lucky victim is a rookie candidate from our very own Kenya, whose name is..." Centurion trailed off as she looked up Kenya's fighter's detail for his name, "Jack, pretty common name if you ask me, but that's not what matters, what matters is that we get this party started!" She shouted as the three fighters Kenya's was pitted against were placed down in the ring all from Centurion herself, a pair of stokers with a wrench each, and a marine with a knife.

"Ok people 2/1 on Centurions 3, 100/1 on Kenya's boy, place your bets, girls!" HMS Cumberland announced as the spectators began putting their money on Centurions fighters, Kenya didn't have to though, she'd already put the last of her money on her fighter, most had figured she'd lost it, but Kenya knew something they didn't, "Alright betting is now closed, Kenya put your guy in, and lets get this over with" Cumberland finally announced, Kenya simply nodded before placing her fighter in the ring, the fairy in question wore a khaki uniform, but this one was differnt namely in the fact he was currently playing a set of bagpipes, Kenya could only smile at the confused faces around her, this was going to be fun.

"Hey Hey?" The marine fairy asked sounding very confused, normally their usual opponents cowered in fear or tried to run, but this fairy was just standing there playing bagpipes and showing no fear whatsoever, it was confusing to say the least, fortunately, Kenya was on hand to clear up any confusion.

"Meet Jack, or to give him his more famous name, Mad Jack Churchill!" Kenya explained as everyone present paled, they knew where this was heading, "Speaking of which, get em Jack" she ordered.

"DEESSSUUUU!" Jack screamed as he threw down his back pipes and charged, his famous broadsword held firmly in hand.

Much violence ensued.


	69. Rule 8530

**8530\. All Refits/Rebuilds/Modernisations are to be signed off by the commanding Admiral.**

As usual Scapa Flow was a hive of activity, shipgirls of all classes and types going around their business, either training, preparing for a convoy run, or simply relaxing after one, just a regular day at Scapa, however, what nobody seemed to notice was the observer watching them from a nearby hill, she remember the last time this had happened, it had been during the War, and like then she had been forced to sit and watch as her fellow ships had gone about there lives, whilst she had lain beached as a part of the harbour. The figure longed for the days of combat she remembered, and the thrill of the fight she had felt during them. But those days were long past, and now even in physical form, she found herself trapped in Scapa Flow once more, had she been able to swallow her pride, she might have thrown in the towel like Centurion had, but she couldn't, no matter how much Centurion, one of only two ships that even acknowledged her presence, tried to convince her to do so, sighing to herself, she silently wished that Belfast would hurry up and get back from Japan, she could do with talking to someone normal about normal things, chats with Centurion tended to end up on her 'bedroom habits'. However, as the figure moved to leave, she didn't notice that she too was being observed, Vanguard couldn't remember who she was exactly, but there was something familiar about her, her curiosity peaked Vanguard decided to discover this figure identity, and maybe the reason she seemed so sad, and that meant making a long distance call.

"Oh, you've discovered Ide, or rather Iron Duke, she tends to shy away from everyone, your actually only the third shipgirl who knows she exist's" Belfast explained over a video call, causing Vanguard to facepalm, now she remembered, HMS Iron Duke, lead ship of her class, Flagship of the Grand Fleet at Jutland; she had served for over 30-years before being sold for scrap, at least that was one question answered, but for such a grand ship, she had seemed upset, clearly there was more to this story.

"Ok, but she looked sad, I'm mean she looked miserable, any idea why?" Vanguard asked, despite being the most aloof shipgirl on the planet, Belfast was actually one of the most knowledgeable shipgirls there were, behind Victory and some of the older shipgirls.

"Yeah, its because she feels useless all the time, shes too outdated to fight and she knows it, but she can't bring herself to retire, Centurion has actually trying to persuade her to do so, and I'm thinking about whether I should do as well, but her pride stops her everytime" Belfast answered, causing Vanguard to feel sorry for the old battleship, she remembered her career as what had been described as a 'white elephant', she'd felt out of place amongst ships like KGV and her sisters, all hardened combat veterans, there had to be something she could do for her, and casting her mind back, Vangaurd for some reason rembered researching the proposed rebuild for the Revenge class, something Admiral Cunningham had asked her to do, right before he'd gone off the deep end, which had left the project buried in the ensuing chaos, pondering on this infomation, Vangaurd felt an Idea blosum in the back of her mind, a crazy insane idea, and those were the ones she liked, "Vanguard!, I know your scheming face, remeber you banned from any experiments after you summoned the Lions!" Belfast cautioned, but before Vanguard could even reply, she stuck up her finger to signify she hadn't finished, "So whatever your thinking of doing, make sure you don't get caught, and don't annoy Collingwood either" she added giving a sly smile, before ending the call, leaving Vanguard alone to flesh out her plan, and a few days of planning, gathering resources and willingly helping hands, Vanguard was ready to put her plan into action.

Consciousness came slowly to Iron Duke, the last thing she remembered was someone grabbing her and injecting her with something, no doubt a sedative of some kind, a quick glance around her revealed she was lying on a slab in one of the refit workshops, just how long had she been out of it?, a quick look at her internal chronometer revealed she'd been out cold for at least 2 days, just what the hell was going on!.

"Ah, your awake, I was wondering when you'd come round" Vanguard commented, causing Iron Duke to jump surprise, only to immediately summon her rigging in self-defence, Vanguard however simply looked on.

"Stay back, I have 10, 13.5-inch guns and I know how to use them!" Iron Duke barked, Vanguard however just looked amused at what she had said.

"I think you'll find your wrong on both counts there" Vanguard replied, an all-knowing smile plastered across her face, leaving Iron Duke a tad confused, it was widely accepted that the science shipgirls all had a screw loose, but how could Vanguard fail to see Iron Duke's five twin turrets, only for Iron Duke to realise that her Q turret, what had been her midships turret was gone, "Yeah, I had to remove that to make space for the new power plant" Vangaurd continued, as Iron Duke looked on in disbelif, new power plant? what the hell had Vanguard done to her?.

"What have you done to me!" Iron Duke demanded, the anger in her voice replaced by one of fear, she was starting to get freaked out.

"Well other than the new power plant, I've updated your fire control, up-gunned your 13.5's, to 14-inch guns, using some spare guns off of the KGV's, replaced your aa suite and fitted you with radar and torpedo bulges, you know, the usual stuff for a rebuilding/modernisation plan" Vanguard explained, only for the door to the workshop to be kicked down by a pissed looking Admiral Cunningham, backed up by pissed looking KGV and Yorkie, and a murderous-looking Centurion.

"Leave Ide alone you Bitch!" Centurion screamed as she pushed past the others, Vanguard simply sighed before turning to face the older battleship.

"Oh come on, I haven't even done anything bad this time, all I did was..." Vanguard began to explain only to be interrupted by Centurion punching her in the face, Iron Duke however, was still trying to process what Vanguard had done, she couldn't have done all of that, but one quick check confirmed everything she had said, Vanguard had completely rebuild and modernised her by WW2 standards, the only question was why?.

"Centi, wait!" Iron Duke ordered, preventing Centurion from landing another punch on Vanguard, who hadn't tried to defend herself, for fear of hurting the older battleship, "Why did you do all this?" Iron Duke asked, Vanguard simply turned to face her.

"Well when I saw you the other day, I got curious and asked Belfast about you, and well she said that you were upset because you couldn't see combat anymore because of your age, but couldn't face retirement, so I thought 'hey here's a good idea, why don't I rebuild and modernise her, that ought to make her feel better', so I did my research and, well here we are!" Vanguard explained, leaving everyone present speechless, of all the shipgirls to do something risky and selfless, Vanguard wasn't even in the top 100 candidates.

"You did all that, just to make me feel better?" Iron Duke wondered, causing Vanguard to simply smiled.

"Yeah, what can I say, I don't like seeing people upset" Vanguard answered as a trickle of blood leaked from the corner of her mouth, Centurion had hit her pretty damn hard, Iron Duke however, felt something she hadn't felt in a long time, she felt happy.

"Come here you" Iron Duke exclaimed as she pulled Vanguard into an embrace, whilst the rest of the shipgirls filed out, followed by Admiral Collingwood, who made his way back to his office, firstly to cancel the proposed gunnery practice, with Vanguard as the target, and secondly to make a new rule for the list, sometimes he hated his life


	70. Rule 8569

**8569\. Yes as it turns out Vanguard has a secret film career that she has kept quiet from everyone because she doesn't want anyone making fun of her, and no it's not what you just thought (get your minds out of the gutter people).**

For once Admiral Collingwood wasn't contemplating reaching for a bottle of hard liquor, this was due to several factors ranging from most of the dimmer and troublesome shipgirls being away on assignment to Portsmouth, which Graham had asked for since he was having the Revenge sisters modernised following the Iron Duke incident some weeks prior, to the fact Sheffield, Edinburgh and Belfast had returned from their visit to Japan, and the former had already begun getting the cruisers and destroyers back-in-line, whilst the latter had dealt with the Battleships and carriers, sometimes he wondered about Belfast, namely why many shipgirls seemed to fear her and why everyone went out of their way to not push her too far, yet refused to answer why they did so, even Victory kept quiet, and she seemed like she had an axe to grind every time Belfast was mentioned in her presence, but Collingwood was sure he'd find out one day.

The main reason though for it being so peaceful was that Vanguard had disappeared entirely, now normally had it been anyone else, Admiral Collingwood would have turned the entire planet over looking for them, but Vanguard seemed to regularly drop off of the grid for a few weeks every once in a while, before turning up completely unharmed, and as she didn't cause any damage during this time, the Admiral had decided to not bother her over it, he had enough battleships anyway, more so now they had the Lions all worked up and operational, so there wasn't anything to worry about, or so he thought until an important sounding alert appeared on his screen, scanning it Collingwood reconsidered the state of sobriety; on screen was an automated notification informing him that one of his ship girls had appeared on a social media post, and by the image that appeared on-screen when he opened the notification, the girl in question, of course, was Vanguard, looking closer he noticed something odd about the post, in it Vanguard was being called 'Sophie Moore', which was odd as alias's wern't that common, and then there were the comments, which set off alarm bells in Collingwoods mind, normally posts regarding shipgirls normally contained people who hated them agruing with people who supported the shipgirls, normally servicemen and women, but the comments for ranged from people vaguly saying how good/beautiful she was, to some people professing their love for her, hell there were even some rather proverse comments from her so called 'fans' about what they wanted to do to her; all of which gave Collingwood a bad feeling, he'd seen this all before, Musashi had had the samething when she had been working in the 'adult film' industry, and when the media had caught wind of that, it had been a field day for the japanese press, and as poor old Goto hadn't known anything about Musashi's activites, he'd been torn to pieces becasue of it, only Musashi stepping in and annoucing her retirement from the industry had saved him from an early retirement, and now Collingwood was staring down the same problem with very few options to deal with this, all of which where equally terrible, what he needed was acurate information to go off of, and he wasn't going to go through her 'catologue', nor was he about to force someone too, luckily however he wouldn't need to.

"Lieutenant could you please summon Centurion for me," Collingwood asked over the intercom system, before snatching a half-empty bottle of scotch from the bottom drawer of his desk and emptying a tumbler's worth into a well-used glass on his desk, "It can never be just a quiet day around here!" he moaned before downing the glass and pouring another.

To say Centurion was excited was an understatement, she had literally been asked to watch questionable videos about someone she personally rated as a perfect 10, this was her idea of heaven; quickly she found a page listing Vanguards 'appearances' and selected the first one, not reading the title, she wasn't fussy about what she watched, quickly the Video loaded and began to play.

"Ok Vanguard, show me what you got!" Centurion exclaimed as she began watching, smiling with glee as Vanguard appeared on screen, wearing what had to be a very frilly Edwardian style dress, Centurion could only imagine what depraved scenes would follow, only for Vanguard to start speaking in a ladylike voice, about Edwardian ladylike things, which killed Centurions mood.

"What the hell kind of snuff film is this?" she wondered aloud, sighing she sat back to watch until things got good, surely it wouldn't be that long.

"So let me get this straight, every film she is in is either a romance film, a serial drama, and one occasion a dramatic/romantic war film?" Collingwood asked a clearly miserable Centurion, who simply nodded in return, "and she is never once nude in any of them" he continued.

"Yes, I mean the closest she got to have her kit off, was when she was wearing a bathing suit midway through some soppy romance film, and not even one that showed much, I mean come on I've seen some stuff that'll make your eyes water like that one with-" Centurion exclaimed only to be cut off by Collingwood's phone ringing, which prompted Collingwood to mentally thank god for this timely interruption.

"I'm sorry I should take this, you can go Centurion" Collingwood informed her, as he snatched the phone up only to see Vanguard on the caller id, Centurion meanwhile simply sighed and walked out, she still had the internet at least, "Hello Vanguard what can I do for..." He began, only for Vanguard to cut him off.

"Aaddmmirrallll!, why did you tell everyone about my film career" Vanguard sobbed on the other end of the line, confusing him somewhat, he'd never told anyone other than Centurion about Vanguard career, yet someone else had found out somehow, mentally he made a quick note to have the techs sweep his office for bugs before responding.

"Vanguard I didn't tell anyone, besides whats the issue, it's not like you did a Musashi, so whats the problem with people knowing about it?" Collingwood replied.

"Whats the issue!?, everyone's going to make fun of me, I'm going to be that nut-job scientist who appears in girly movies!" Vanguard snapped back, clearly, she was upset "I'm going to be a joke, I'm going to be a laughing stock, I'm going, I'm going..." she sobbed before breaking down into tears.

"Vanguard don't cry, nobody will make fun of you, I'll even have a rule made so they can't, hows that?" Collingwood offered, which prompted Vanguard to stop crying as hard as she was.

"You, you will?" Vanguard sniffled, Collingwood ordering everyone not to make fun of her was something, but an entire rule was something that definitely would work.

"Of course, despite all the headaches, explosions and havoc you cause, I genuinely care about you, I care for everyone under my command, Now why don't you go and sort yourself out, whilst I make a new rule for the list, ok?" Collingwood answered, he wasn't lying about caring for her, It was in his nature after all.

"Ok Admiral, I'll go now, I'm meant to be on set in 30 minutes so I better go sort myself out" Vanguard replied before hanging up, leaving Collingwood alone in his office.

"Well, that went well" Collingwood sighed reaching for a bottle of brandy, to most others, some admirals included, Collingwood might have had a drinking problem, but to him and a few others who knew about the nightmare that was Scapa Flow, it was a miracle he drank as little as he did.


	71. Rule 8669 The Curse is Broken!

__Rule courtesy of Falkeno with help from mendelvianDescent__

 _This is for our English cousins across the pond! Enjoy mates! :D_

 _ _ **Rule 8669: To any magically inclined/spiritual/religious shipgirls, tonight's events were not any form of Dark magic, a sign of the apocalypse, or divine intervention, so please stop any doomsday preparations, all that happened was that England won on penalties in the world cup.  
"No, I can't believe it either!" - Admiral Collingwood.**__

Rule 8669a: All British (and any other applicable) shipgirls, you are reminded that they still have duties to perform tomorrow, so please don't stay up too late celebrating, and don't drink too much either.  
"IT'S COMING HOME, IT'S COMING HOME, IT'S COMING!, FOOTBALLS COMING HOME!" - Several intoxicated shipgirls

 **Falkeno said:**

 ** _ _-__** **__  
I Couldn't resist the urge to not post this, and I'm not even a massive football fan.__**

Spoiler: In which St Patrick's Day comes early, in a manner of speaking

 _Scapa Flow Naval Base, 3 July_

Now if there was one thing one attempted at their own risk it would have to be disturbing European shipgirls during a football match, especially if it happened to be for the World Cup. Rumor had it that the last time Abyssals tried to take advantage of the lull by attacking during a match, one fleet had gotten so enraged at the interruption that they utterly decimated the offending forces.

Tonight's viewing special for the fleet of Scapa Flow: England vs Colombia, the winner advancing to the quarterfinals. Given England's previous track record of getting eliminated by penalties during critical matches, hopes weren't particularly high (with a handful of notable exceptions, Victory and Duke of York among them), though that didn't stop them from showing their support — after all, there were six Lion(-class battleship)s among them, double the three of the team logo. With the match ongoing, the shipgirls had tapped into the lager reserves: 'take a shot every time the whistle is blown/the yellow card is shown/someone misses or saves', that sort of thing. Considering how heated the match got, it was no wonder some of them were getting intoxicated by the middle of the second half, and even outside the drinking games the liquor was flowing more freely than was usual, as Cunard's 'grand trio' were taking turns going on liquor runs to keep from running out.

They were definitely going to need all the booze they could get tonight: with the score tied at 1 apiece, the penalty shootout was upon them. Moment of truth now, this was where hopes could be dashed or a curse could finally be broken, and the room was buzzing with heightened, nervous excitement - to say nothing of how buzzed Victory, Sheffield, Renown, and Vanguard were becoming. Centurion was passing one of the Admiral's hats around, trying to get the destroyers to place their bets, until she came face to face with Conway and just paled at the meeting. The drill sergeant of the fleet was, in Queen Victoria's apocryphal words, not amused, and glared daggers at the would-be bookie in obvious displeasure. "There might not be a rule against betting just yet, but you keep that up and someone's going to put one in place because of the bean counters' complaints," she warned, snatching the hat from Centurion and promptly setting it down on the nearest table. Colombia scored, and a massive outcry of disappointment erupted in the room as Kenya took the distraction to swipe the hat without being spotted. That was when someone came back from the liquor run.

There was the sound of forehead hitting doorframe, muffled swearing, and then someone tall and statuesque entered the room carrying yet more bottles of liquor. "I come bearing gifts, and the gifts are the good stuff!" Even suffering from the same side effect that afflicted the White Star trio, Aquitania was still the Ship Beautiful, but tonight even his charms would have to bow to the almighty football match, now that the tension was becoming more and more palpable. "Rum, brandy, a bit of scotch for m'self—" "What, not going to share a glass or two with us?" came a voice from the back as one of the taller ladies got to her feet. Her auburn hair out of its usual bun for a change, Lusitania surveyed her younger half-brother with a bit of amusement. "Well I mean, you and Mauretania are going on a run now, right?" "Not now, no," Mauretania pointed out, offering an empty glass to Aquitania in an unspoken request to pour her one, "not since the match has gone to penalties and I don't want to miss anything." "Wait what? Details details, I have got to see this!" Aquitania had to take a seat to avoid blocking the view, passing the rum to Belfast so she could refill her flask before he went to pour Mauretania a glass of sherry.

"Colombia just scored," Belfast began without preamble, shushing the chattery Duke of York and Vanguard beside her with a well-placed glare. "Come on England, show them what you've got..." England scored its penalty shot: 1-1 now, and an exultant cheer went up through the room. Victory, already descending under the influence, broke into premature strains of "It's coming home, it's coming, football's coming home!" Colombia scored: 2-1, and the shipgirls waited with bated breath for their team's response, a tall and broad shouldered young man slipping discreetly into the room unnoticed.

"Hello ladies! Glad I could get here before I missed all the action," Britannic said, leaning on one wall before checking a glance at the screen. "I got one of the other hospital ships to fill in for me _in absentia_ but in the meanwhile this doctor is out and ready to party! Not too hard though, someone still has to be designated driver when all of you undoubtedly get yourselves five sheets to the wind instead of three," he added, folding his arms over his chest as he looked out over them. Belfast dared breathe a sigh of relief now that someone decently responsible was here, taking a long draught from her rum flask before turning her attention to the match once more.

England again - 2-2 and a roar of ecstatic delight, Britannic actually fistpumping and jumping in his excitement that they were holding their own for a change. Colombia scored anew: 3-2, bring out a collective "Noooo!" from the viewers. And then England missed, and the Three Lions fans outright erupted in a furor over the missed opportunity, fists shaken and expletives flung left right and center. Colombia missed when their next shot came up, the tension ratcheting up further as the chanting made itself known as far as Admiral Collingwood's office: "England! England! England!" "Shhhh!" Belfast hissed, turning up the volume. "Put a sock in it or we'll miss seeing the shot!" England did not disappoint, bringing the score on penalties to 3-3 to rabid and frenzied cheers, Vanguard going slack-jawed in shock as she slipped away to take care of business.

Colombia fucking missed again. The subsequent explosion of cheers and heightened excitement was undoubtedly giving the Admiral a headache at this point even though he was relatively removed from the source, and he rubbed his temples with a longsuffering sigh as he turned to George V. "If that team pulls off the impossible and somehow manages to win on penalties I might just need a drink. Both to absorb the shock and to deal with all the mayhem these ladies will get up to if it should ever happen," he groused. The Admiral spoke too soon, much too soon, because not even five seconds after that, England scored its winning penalty shot to end the game: 1-1, (4-3) on penalties. And then all celebratory hell broke loose.

"THE CURSE IS BROKEN! IT'S COMING HOME!" Cheering, raucous and loud, erupted throughout Scapa Flow - not just the shipgirls, but the human personnel too, everyone who gave a rat's arse about these things rushing through the halls to spread the good news. "It's a miracle! Saints be praised, hallelujah!" "No way, it's dark magic I tell you! Someone made a deal with the Red Guy Downstairs and swung the odds in our favour!" A few pairs of eyes came look at HMS Lion, assuming her suspect solely for bearing the namesake animal of the team's logo. "Don't look at me like that, I wouldn't be so dumb or smashed enough to try anything of the sort!" Vanguard made a reapparance with a pack slung over her shoulders, apparently stocked with supplies from the commissary. "No no no, it's the end of the world! The impossible is happening, now the end is coming for us! Everyone to the fallout shelters, bugout bags at the ready!" And backgrounding the debate, four drunk shipgirls leading the chorus of Three Lions: "IT'S COMING HOME, IT'S COMING HOME, IT'S COMING, FOOTBALL'S COMING HOME!"

Admiral Collingwood had had enough of this. The racket and din was growing nigh excessive, and as much as he could sympathize with the celebrations they still had duties to attend to come the following day. Sighing as he shook his head, the man got to his feet with half a mind to talk some sense into them - and then someone broke his door down. "My namesake is ours! England has won the day!" Victory roared, leading the charge with three of the Lion-class battleships being carried behind her on a great big bedsheet born by at least half a dozen shipgirls, a makeshift palanquin and an awful pun if ever there was one. "Thank God for lucky breaks! We've got a shot at the cup!" Duke of York exclaimed, hoisting the sheet just a bit higher and causing Temeraire and Thunderer to knock heads accidentally. "This was witchcraft!" Edinburgh objected, adding for good measure "Ask the wizarding community, one of 'em did something!" "The end is near!" Renown bemoaned, the redness in her face testifying to her tipsiness. "We're all gonna die!"

"Enough! Ladies, ladies, may I have your attention please!" the admiral shouted into a megaphone, trying to bring some semblance of order back into the rising tide of celebratory mayhem. "No, I can't believe it either, but tonight's events were not any form of Dark magic, a sign of the apocalypse, or divine intervention, so _please_ stop any doomsday preparations! All that happened was that England won on penalties in the World Cup!" His last statement was met with a roar of enthusiastic cheering from the crowd blocking the hallway and spilling into his office. "THREE LIONS ON A SHIRT, JULES RIMET STILL GLEAMING, ALL THESE YEARS OF HURT, NEVER STOPPED ME DREAMING-" "Ladies ladies ladies please!" Dammit, Collingwood was caught between rock and hard place for sure, between catching flak from the higher-ups for letting them run amok or getting on the wrong end of multiple intoxicated shipgirls who had some very formidable weaponry. Faced with this dilemma, he hedged. "Alright stop, stop, stop!" Once silence of some degree fell, he cleared his throat. "I know it's late, and we all want to celebrate the penalty curse being broken at long last. But for God's sakes you still have duties to perform tomorrow, so please don't stay up too late celebrating, and don't drink too much either. Er, that is all." As the cheering fleet milled out of the office, Collingwood called for Belfast. "I need a fucking drink, two, three, make that _ten_ fucking drinks. Spare me a bottle of rum why don't you?"

Things only went downhill from there, now that the admiral had been constrained into giving his blessing to the festivities. Lusitania and Mauretania had decided to dash off to procure yet more liquor, seeing their colleagues off before practically sprinting off to get the good stuff. A few minutes after the Cunarders left for their liquor run, a long low chord could be heard tearing through the night air, a distant sound of massive steam whistles being blown - once, twice, three times, like three roars of a lion - followed by what sounded like artillery fire. Titanic and his escorts came back from sortie cheering for England's victory, and the liner practically sought out his older brother to hurl himself at Olympic in a hug, before capturing their gleeful reaction to tonight's events in a captioned photo: 'Belfast-born, home port Liverpool! Grats on breaking curse! #ItsBeenXXYears'

Despite Britannic's best efforts to get them to desist, Vanguard managed to rope Repulse and Edinburgh in making effigies of the Colombian team, 'christening' them with full bottles of alcohol before setting them on fire. Lusitania and Olympic, debating the alcohol tolerance of Scots versus Irish, got into a drinking contest that ended with both of them red in the face and breaking a table beneath their dancing feet while Titanic, his tie undone and his face ruddy from dabbling in the good stuff himself, played a jig on the fiddle. And all the while, there were repeated strains of Three Lions heard everywhere: blasted through speakers, sung by shipgirls in varying degrees of drunkenness. The Lion-class battleships were the stars of tonight, grouped in two sets of three and carried aloft on bedsheets borne by four shipgirls to a side as an incredibly lame visual pun ( _three Lions on a sheet_ ) on the team logo, and milking it for all it was worth, they were more than happy to soak up in the attention - Monarch, living up to her name, even tried her hand at issuing orders while she was at it.

Each hour came and went, and the party seemed to be showing no signs of abating. Belfast could swear she had lost track of how many times she had had to break up a brawl in progress as drunk colleagues debated plays and tactics, or how many times she had to drag away destroyers before they could go out and challenge Abyssals in their sloshed state (whoever gave the destroyers booze was in so much trouble), and she was already through her third bottle of rum that night for sheer fucking stress. Britannic wasn't faring any better, trying to carry shipgirls back to their quarters when they ended up protesting that they weren't that drunk yet even as they poured themselves another glass for the night, and himself downing a couple glasses when things were at a lull. The double palanquin stunt with the Lion-class shipgirls came to a crashing halt when the sheet-bearers, then three sheets to the wind, went down for the count, taking their respective trios of battleships with them. The climax of the crazy came when Kongou somehow managed to arrive at quarter to 3am, bringing several bottles of sake and her overenthusiastic attitude to cap off the lively celebrations til everyone either called it a night and turned in, or otherwise ended up passed the fuck out.

Without a doubt, the great majority had too much to drink. Scapa Flow's shipgirl fleet was collectively suffering from the biggest hangover since before the rum ration had been discontinued, some of them even going so far as to don earmuffs or blindfolds to block out the unpleasant sensory onslaught of the morning after, and the porcelain thrones were seeing many a shipgirl's stomach contents being evicted into them. Britannic had left aspirin for everyone and notes to "take two and call me ASAP", having gone back to work with a bit of a headache of his own earlier that morning.

Collingwood awoke at his desk with hammers on anvils pounding inside his skull, nothing he wasn't used to on bad days but still enough to have him letting out a long, low "Fuuuuuck my bloody life." What he was not used to, however, was the rich, delicious aroma wafting just a few inches away from his face. Grumbling and groaning as he slowly straightened up from his awkward and painful position, the admiral found a plate heaped high with bacon, eggs, and sausages on his table, not to mention the cup of fresh steaming coffee. At that moment the door opened, and the Admiral was greeted by the sight of a hungover secretary ship fresh from the WC. "Did you make all this?" George V shook her head as she walked into his office, holding a bag of ice to her head. "I wish. Aquitania made a delivery while you were out cold, and left a note while he was at it." Mildly intrigued, Collingwood lifted his plate and found folded stationery beneath, opening the note to read.

 _"Admiral,  
Apologies are probably in order for the ruckus the whole lot of us caused the previous night. Seeing as practically all of us including yourself are struggling through the biggest mass hangover in recent memory, have a little something for the morning after. England's your team too after all, so maybe a full English to celebrate? Regards,  
-the folks from Cunard and White Star"_

To have one or two liners manning the kitchens was nothing new. But five? When one had full English breakfasts to whip up for so many hungover personnel, there was definitely an advantage in strength in numbers, even though all of them were nursing hangovers to varying extents. Belfast was first to arrive for breakfast thanks to her immunity to hangovers, and was promptly surprised to see the liners up and at it in the kitchens when most of the others were still down for the count. "Well. Looks like you lot got the flat of the blade instead of the edge", she said in reference to being not as hungover as the others, raising a brow at them as she folded her arms over her chest. "I'm guessing you White Star boys must be counting your lucky stars to be Irish by technicality?"

"Being Belfast-built definitely played a part in it, yes," Titanic admitted, his shirtsleeves rolled up and his captain's cap low enough to shield his eyes from too much light. "But neither of us could hold a candle to you ma'am, not when we've never been quite as hard-drinking as yourself. Hangovers, well, they tend to hit us more like a hickory cane than a sledgehammer." "I mean, to be fair," Olympic added, a bit of a cocky smirk on his face, "we do drink good and hard on special occasions? Last night more than qualified, but it's not a regular occurrence at all for us so it's still a bit of a shock for our systems. Remind me not to do that again."

"No promises, but I get that. What about you three?" Belfast asked, turning to the grand trio. Mauretania just smiled, cracking two eggs one after the other without breaking stride as Lusitania finished downing her second coffee of the morning. "Let's just say we decided to be responsible while these two-" here she gestured to Olympic and Lusitania, "drank themselves under the table-" " _Over_ the table," Aquitania cut in, sliding some bangers onto the pan and stepping back as they quite literally began to do what their name suggested. "I got footage and can confirm Olympic has wicked moves when sloshed." Belfast nodded at the other, perhaps a little amused at the recollection. "You know what they say after all. Those legs are definitely not just for show."

Half an hour, an hour passed, and eventually everyone was found present and accounted for, and the liners had full English breakfasts ready for all in celebration of last night's win and to help with the brutal hangover so many of them were suffering. Discussion of the match was still rife among the shipgirls, though for the time being honestly, Belfast had had more than enough of it for the next day or two. And then the question came up, the question nobody had really considered the night before:

"So how about England versus Sweden this Saturday?"

"Uuuuuuuuugh." Screw it, the idea of last night repeating itself on Saturday was more than she wanted to think about while sober. Belfast reached for her rum flask, popped the top, and downed the whole damn thing in a few long gulps.


	72. Rule 7451

**7451: There are to be no more drinks of any kind allowed on Naval Station Halifax due to excessive drunken activities at ungodly hours in the morning.  
7451a: The names of those responsible are being withheld as we need them on the line not in the drydocks as the rest of the fleet would send them. **

It was past 3 in the morning and the base's schooner compliment was acting like it was 3 in the afternoon. Loud music could be heard throughout their own corner of the base with many ships dancing on the makeshift dance floor. Others sat at the bar with at least one engaged in a shot contest. At a nearby table sat 6 schooners all veterans of the Grand Banks. Bluenose, Delawana, and Halagonian for the Canadians and Gertrude L. Theabuad and Columbia, and Mayflower for the Yanks. They were all rip roaring drunk. Past that in fact. They were the point where, just before passing out, they were all about to do something silly.

Bluenose, being the champion she was and the ringleader of any mischief occurring on base, started the festivities...

 _"_ _Oh the year was 1778  
HOW I WISH I WAS IN SHERBROOKE NOW!  
A letter of marque came from the King  
To the scummiest vessel is ever seen._

 _Goddamn them all!  
I was told we'd cruise the seas for American gold  
We'd fire no guns, shed no tears!  
Now I'm a broken man on a Halifax pier  
The last of Barrett's Privateers!_

Theabaud led the next verse...

 _Oh Elcit Barred cried the town  
HOW I WISH I WAS IN SHERBROOKE NOW!  
For twenty-five men all fishermen who  
Would make for him the Antelope's crew._

 _Goddamn them all!  
I was told we'd cruise the seas for American gold  
We'd fire no guns, shed no tears!  
Now I'm a broken man on a Halifax pier  
The last of Barrett's privateers!_

Haligonian stood up shakily in her chair, swaying half with the song, half with the booze she'd already consumed.

 _The Antelope sloop was a sickening sight  
HOW I WISH I WAS IN SHERBROOKE NOW!  
She'd a list to port and her sails in rags  
And a cook in the skuppers with the slaggers and the jags_

 _Goddamn them all!  
I was told we'd cruise the seas for American gold  
We'd fire no guns, shed no tears!  
Now I'm a broken man on a Halifax pier the last of Barrett's privateers!_

It was Columbia's turn now and she grinned and winked suggestively at Bluenose who's cheeks turned red at the obvious flirting.  
 _  
On the King's Birthday we put to sea  
HOW I WISH I WAS IN SHERBROOKE NOW!  
We were 91 days to Montego Bay  
Pumping like madmen all the way!_

 _Goddamn them all!  
I was told we'd cruise the seas for American gold  
We'd fire no guns, shed no tears!  
Now I'm a broken man on a Halifax pier  
The last of Barett's privateers!_

The last of the Canadians, little Delawana was next. She was a head shorter than Bluenose but the firey redhead was no slacker.

 _On the 96th day we sailed again  
HOW I WISH I WAS IN SHERBROOKE NOW!  
When a bloody great Yankee hove in sight  
With our cracked four pounders we made to fight_

 _Goddamn them all!  
I was told we'd cruise the seas for American gold  
We'd fire no guns, shed no tears!  
Now I'm a broken man on a Halifax pier  
The last of Barrett's privateers!_

Mayflower, the huge saltbanker always denied the chance to sit with the big boys now looked uncertain about her once desired position. She looked to Bluenose and Columbia. The Canadian gave her a nod and the ever excitable Yank an encouraging thumbs up! Gathering her courage, Mayflower rose to the challenge.

 _The Yankee lay low down with gold  
HOW I WISH I WAS IN SHERBROOKE NOW!  
She was broad and fat and loose in the stays  
But to catch her took the Antelope two whole days!_

 _Goddamn them all!  
I was told I'd cruise the seas for American gold  
We'd fire no guns, shed no tears!  
Now I'm a broken man on a Halifax pier the last of Barrett's privateers!_

All standing, Bluenose took the lead into the next verse.

 _Then at length we stood two cables away  
HOW I WISH I WAS IN SHERBROOKE NOW!  
Our cracked four pounders made an awful din  
But with one fat ball the Yank stove us in!_

 _Goddamn them all!  
I was told we'd cruise the seas for American gold  
We'd fire no guns, shed no tears!  
Now I'm a broken man on a Halifax pier  
The last of Barrett's privateers!_

Each schooner raised their glasses of fine Nova Scotian brew. Each glass more empty than the other but none were even half full. Bluenose, Theabuad, Halagonian, Columbia, Delawana, and Mayflower all sang as a toast to the brilliant Canadian man that had created such a popular song!

 _The Antelope shook and pitched on her side  
HOW I WISH I WAS IN SHERBROOKE NOW!  
Barrett was smashed like a bowl of eggs  
And the main truck carried off both my legs._

 _Goddamn them all!  
I was told we'd cruise the seas for American gold  
We'd fire no guns, shed no tears!  
Now I'm a broken man on a Halifax pier  
The last of Barrett's privateers!_

As each ship prepared to drink, Mayflower spoke up. "Oh there's one more verse!" She said and lead them into it.

 _So here I lay in my 23rd year  
HOW I WISH I WAS IN SHERBROOKE NOW!  
It's been 6 years since we sailed away  
And I only made Halifax yesterday_

 _Goddamn them all!  
I was told we'd cruise the seas for American gold  
We'd fire no guns, shed no tears!  
Now I'm a broken man on a Halifax pier  
The last of Barrett's privateers!_

Their song and toast completed the schooners all drained their glasses in unison, slamming them down on the table with a loud clunk. It was only then they noticed how quiet the room has gotten. A quick glance towards the door told them why for there stood the Admiral in her nightgown and looking very, very displeased!

Each ship gulped audibly, then they did what schooners did when confronted with danger. They ran in all different directions, screaming at the top of their lungs. Bluenose dove between the Admiral's legs, making it out into the hallway. Mayflower dove out the window and hit the ground running, meeting up with her Canadian counterpart as she burst outside. Delawana followed Mayflower. Columbia and Theabaud tipped over chairs and tables to block the Admiral's path before escaping. And Haligonian, well Haligonian thought for some reason stripping down would help her chances and ran out of the building naked.

It wasn't long before a makeshift strip dance party insued in the courtyard. One that woke the rest of the base in a hurry. Each shipgirl's reaction varied.

Some, like the Edwardian sensitive Olympic-class immediately turned away to shield their eyes.

Most watched the proceedings with interests with a select few such as the shameless flirt HMS Repulse admired some of the schooner's assets.

But no one was amused the next morning to find that the Admiral had posted a rule banning all alcohol from the base. When the mob marched down to the schooner barracks they found that it had been meticulously stripped and abandoned without a single can of food or a piece of sail remaining!


	73. Rule 7472

_Rule courtesy of AngryAmerican_

7472: At this time of year, if you decide to 'experiment' with food of any sort, keep it in a well-marked container or in a separate and clearly marked storage area. We don't want any more incidents.

Duncan set the foil-wrapped turkey down on the countertop. Scores of the things had been sent to the ship girls, some from state governments, some from cities and towns, but most of them came from regular people. While most of them ended up being donated, there were always enough to go around. In a little bit, Okie would drop by to help finish up before they took everything to the main event-

The foil moved. Then it moved again.

Duncan stared at the rustling foil. He walked over and pulled it away from the resting bird. At first, it looked normal, then the stump of the neck twisted around. There was a face, with bared teeth, a long beard, and a pair of eye stalks. It looked Duncan dead in the eyes, then it opened its mouth and screamed. Duncan froze for a second, then grabbed a knife, threw it at the turkey-creature, and bolted from the kitchen. Not knowing how to throw knives, and a kitchen knife not being suited for throwing in the first place, it did absolutely nothing to harm the thing.

It jumped up, raised its arms in the air, and bellowed again before giving chase.

Just ahead of the terrifyingly fast turkey, Duncan made it to the closest room with a locking door, which happened to be a bathroom. He slammed the door shut and stepped back. Still bellowing, the turkey threw itself against the door and started banging away at it with its arms. In a matter of seconds, the hollow-core door started to give way.

Then a car door slammed out front. Duncan heard the banging stop, then the odd thumps of the creature's legs as it walked to the front door. A few moments later he heard the turkey start up its scream again, then it was cut off. He opened the door and peered out of the bathroom. Oklahoma was standing in the door with a disgusted look on her face, and the turkey, or what was left of it, was smeared over her boot and against the far wall.

The two locked eyes, "What the hell was that?"

"I have no idea… Where did you get that turkey from anyway?"

"It was just one of the ones in the freezer, we all keep the turkeys that we get in there. Someone would have had to messed with- hold on a minute."

Elsewhere, South Dakota dug through the battleship dorm deep freezer in a panic. Her experiment was gone! Why the hell hadn't she just made enough space in the lab freezer?! Who knew what the thing could do out in the wild?

She stopped as her phone started to ring. Growling, she dug it from a pocket and answered it. "What do you want?"

A chill ran down her spine as she heard Oklahoma ask, "Did you do anything weird to a turkey lately?"

"Perhaps?"

"Well it's dead, and you owe Duncan a new wall." Then she hung up. South Dakota sighed and looked down at the freezer full of turkeys,

"Well, there are plenty more where number four came from..."


	74. Rule 7508

7508: Will the shipgirl who forgot to silence her cellphone during a summoning please report to the Admiral's office. All successive damages WILL be coming out of your paycheck!  
7508a: "Well at least it wasn't 'Dead or Alive'."~ Sierra  
7508b: "Bullet with Butterfly Wings" isn't much better! Now I have a fleet of terrified research vessels who refuse to leave their berths!"~ Nisshin Maru  
7508c: "I still don't get how those big girls could be afraid of such a small little boat. I mean it's not like she's like Hornet or something."~ Senat  
7508d: "Hello!"~ Ady Gil appears out of nowhere.  
7508e: "Does anyone here see the irony in this?"~ Nybraena, former Norweigian whaler sunk by Sea Shepherd  
7508f: "You're one to talk!"~ Sierra

The small town of Taji was a great gathering place for the various flagged merchant vessels that weren't on convoy duty. A few ships gathered around a makeshift pool that had taken them months to build.

"Is it ready Nybraena?" Asked one.

"Just a minute, Senet." The Norwegian replied to her sister. "There, all ready." She said as she put the finishing touches on the offerings. A group of shells collected on the beach, some old whale bones from Sierra and a piece of a carbon fiber hull that Senet had gotten on a trip to Australia.

"Okay, we've got our offerings, let's begin." Sierra said.

Several minutes in, the shrill sound of a cellphone going off interrupted the proceedings. It sounded for less than 10 seconds but the strains of the all too familiar song already wafted over the ears of the audience and into the pool itself. _"_ _The world is a vampire..."  
_  
All eyes turned to Sierra who sheepishly turned off the sound as she fished her phone out of her pocket. "Oops, forgot to silence it. Sorry everyone." She said.

There were snorts and a few glares but everyone turned back to the pool as the water began to bubble, the telltale signs of a ship returning from the depths. At last she emerged. She was tiny! That was the first impression. She had to be only 4' maybe 4'6" at most. She was dressed in black from head to toe like some kind of commando. She wore a thick sweatshirt with full length leggings and running shoes. Her blonde hair was pulled back in a pony tail and a sports headband in addition. Her hazel eyes sparkled as she took in her surroundings.

Her rigging consisted of a simple radar mast, a pair of pontoons on each arm, and a lovely wave piercing bow. She had no weapons and yet Sierra went white as a sheet. "Oh no. No, no, no..." She moaned.

Nybraena was about to give the fellow whaler a good lesson in displaying some backbone when she too noticed what Sierra had already seen. The flag at her mast was unmistakable. That distinctive skull with the dolphin and whale inset upon it along with the trident and shephard's Hook as crossbones. She gulped despite herself.

Then the newcomer spoke. "Hi, I'm Ady Gil. Last I recall I was sinking in the Southern Ocean. Would someone please be kind enough to tell me what's going on?"

Sierra fainted, falling in a heep on the ground. Nybraena nearly followed her before she got enough wits about her to run away. Far away as possible from that-that thing! That thing that flew the same flag of the group that killed her! The rest of the whalers followed suit.

Ady was left standing there, confused as hell. "Was it something I said?" She wondered.


	75. Rule 7534

7534\. Kongou, next time you teleport, could you at least phone ahead to the base you're going to? The gate guard at Futenma nearly had a heart attack.  
7534a. By the way, why the heck did you teleport there, of all places?  
7534b. "I needed to pick up a passenger, desu."

Christmas Eve, Yokosuka

"Well, it's not exactly a white Christmas, but.." Takao began.

"No matter, Christmas is still Christmas." said Myoko. "Besides, that's what roofs are for."

"Yikes, it's really coming down now, isn't it?" asked Ashigara.

"Yes, and the weatherman said it's only gonna get worse from here on in."

"The good news is we're all here accept for Haguro's boyfriend. Any word on his ETA?"

"Haguro's calling him now. With any luck, Okinawa's having better weather than we are."

Just then, Haguro walked into the kitchen, sighing.

"Everything alright, imouto-chan?" asked Myoko.

"Oh, John's still on Okinawa. There's another storm over there, and it's grounded all flights in and out. They're not even sending the AWACS drones up."

"Does he have any idea when he'll be able to leave?" asked Takao.

"Not for another couple days, at least. That storm's already at Force 8, and it's showing no signs of weakening."

"I'm sorry, imouto-chan."

"It's no big deal, nee-chan." said Haguro. "We'll still have New Years. Not to mention the next convoy run."

As her sisters and wife talked, myoko stared out the window, deep in thought. Haguro seemed to be taking it well, but this was going to have been her and John's first Christmas together, and Myoko knew how important that was for the couple. But, there wasn't much she could do about it. She was just a heavy cruiser after all, and there was no way she could change Mother Nature's whims.

 _But getting_ around _them, on the other hand.._ she thought, was another matter.

"I'll be right back."

"Just where are you going?" asked Takao.

"I have a call to make."

Marine Corps Air Station Futenma, Okinawa.

The gate guard at Futenma shivered as he adjusted his parka. Granted, fifty degrees might not be that cold for most people, but he was from Tucson, dangit. And the rain wasn't helping matters. He was looking at his watch when the ground began to shake. A bright light flashed five feet in front of him, causing him to look away. When he looked back, he saw a young woman standing there in the rain, umbrella in hand.

"Excuse me sir, could you point me to Captain John Sheppard, of VMF-221? I'm his ride to Yokosuka."

The guard just stared at her in shock for a minute before fainting dead away.

"Um, hello?" asked Kongou, frowning. "Oh, dear."

Later, at Yokosuka.

"Haguro, could you get the door?" called Takao from the kitchen.

Haguro walked to the door, and opened it to find Kongou standing there on the porch.

"Kongou-san, what are you doing here in this weather?"

"I had to bring a very important gift here. Seems his ride fell through at the last minute."

"Huh? His rides.' Haguro stopped when Kongou turned, revealing her boyfriend standing behind her. "John, how?"

"Miss Kongou gave me a ride via teleport."

Haguro didn't know what to say. "Th.., Thank you, Kongou-san."

"Don't thank me, thank Myoko-san."

"Eh?"

"She called me and asked me if I could make a trip to Okinawa."

"Why would Nee-san do that?.."

"Because I know how important a first Christmas is to a relationship." cut in Myoko. "Hi John, I trust that Kongou didn't leave any of you in Okinawa?"

"Hey, that only happened once!" protested Kongou. "By the way, does this mean we're even for last year?"

"Definitely." said Myoko. "I guess you need to get back to quarters now?"

"Oh yes. The Admiral's off early today, so I have some finishing touches to put on. Merry Christmas everybody."

"Merry Christmas."

With that, Kongou vanished in another flash of light, leaving the three in the doorway.

"Thank you, Nee-san." said Haguro, gripping her sister in a tight hug.

"Yes, thank you, Myoko-san." said John, bowing respectfully.

"Don't mention it. Now, why don't we all get inside. If I let the two of you catch pneumonia, Takao'll have my head."


	76. Rule 7544

7544\. When you overhear a conversation, make sure to hear it out before jumping to conclusions.  
7544a. Why yes, this does have something to do with Nachi running through the base shouting "I'm having more nieces!"

Yokosuka.

"Onee-san, you're going to need to wake up at some point." said Haguro as she tried to wake Nachi.

"Another ten minutes, imouto-chan." Nachi yawned.

"Alright, but when you wake up, there's coffee in the kitchen."

Haguro sighed as she walked into the kitchen. "Well, sleeping beauty is still comatose."

"Still?" asked Atago.

"When it comes to sound sleepers, Nachi has the world beat." chuckled Myoko.

A loud thud was then heard from the living room, along with some groggy muttering.

"But gravity always beats her." said Ashigara. "So, getting back on-topic, how did you two come up with the girls' names?"

"Well, we got Makoto and Hotaru from an old TV we used to watch when we first started dating." said Takao.

"And Ami?"

"When we found out we were having three kids, and not two, we had to be spontaneous." replied Myoko. "Ami was the first name that came to us."

'What about you three?" asked Takao.

"Eh?"

"Have any of you thought about what you're going to name your kids when they arrive?"

"Whenever I meet Mr. Right, he'll probably have some ideas, but for right now, I'm torn between Usagi and Minako." said Atago.

Nachi stumbled up from the couch and walked to the kitchen. Atago was saying something. Something about, _kids_?

Ashigara thought about it for a moment. "Sosuke and I talked about it a little while ago. If it's a boy, Kenji, and if it's a girl, Rei."

"Me and John aren't anywhere near there yet, though we have talked about it." said Haguro.

Nachi's eyes widened in shock. Her drowsiness meant she'd only picked up every other word, but she'd heard enough. Without saying a word, she bolted out the door, heading for the office.

As everyone in the kitchen watched the purple blur race down the street, none could imagine what was about to happen.

 _Captain Yonehara's office  
_  
"The good news, is that with Christmas in the rear-view, Myoko no longer sees you as the guy who's dating her youngest sister." said Sosuke.

"And the bad news?" asked John. Dating was something John was decidedly inexperienced at, and luckily Sosuke had stepped in to make sure that he didn't blow it.

"Well, now Myoko sees you as the guy who could potentially _marry_ her sister."

Before John could say anything else, the wall behind them shattered, revealing Nachi. A _very_ angry looking Nachi.

"You two are coming with me." she said in a low growl.

"Um, hi Nachi. What brings you by?" asked Sosuke.

Nachi's only reply was to grab the two of them by the scruffs of their necks and carry them back to the house.

"Did this happen to you when you and Ashigara-san started dating?" asked John.

"Nope. This is a new one."

Nachi opened the door and heaved them into the entryway,

"Nachi! What the Hell are you doing?!" yelled Ashigara.

"I heard what the two of you said earlier, and if these two think that their kids'll be born out of wed-lock, they have another thing coming!"

"What?!"

"Wait, you're pregnant?!" asked Sosuke and John simultaneously.

"No, we're not!" said both cruisers in question.

"But, what you said earlier.." Nachi trailed off.

"We were coming up with hypothetical baby names, for the future." said Haguro.

"Yeah, we're not pregnant, baka!" added Ashigara.

"Oops?' stuttered Nachi. "Sorry guys. I guess I must have heard them wrong."

As Nachi was berated by Ashigara and Haguro while Myoko attempted to settle them down, Takao help Sosuke and John to their feet.

"So, is it a safe bet to assume more stuff like this will happen in the future?" asked John.

"Oh definitely." said Sosuke.

"Family reunions are going to be fun, then." said John dryly.

"Welcome to the family." said Takao cheerfully as the four Myoko's argued.


	77. Rule 7593

_Rule courtesy of AngryAmerican_

 _7593: What ever the hell happens at parties tonight is not to be spokennkf~ [Trails into illegibility]._

 **Near Norfolk...**  
Chester opened her eyes and looked up at the ceiling. For several seconds she lay on something not unpleasantly solid, but eventually, she slowly sat up and looked around.

The house looked like a bomb or seven had gone off inside. There were holes in the walls and ceiling, furniture was overturned, and shipgirls and humans were passed out all over the place. Chester racked her brain trying to reconstruct the night, there was some drinking, then the ball dropped, then one of the dock workers proposed to someone, then there was more drinking, somehow she had a full bottle of tequila in her hand… Then everything got confused.

The heavy cruiser slowly got to her feet and started wandering through the devastation. First, she walked into the dining room.

Dreadnought and South Carolina lay unconscious on the floor, apparently having had a very even battle at some point. Michigan lay in the center of the table, which had been broken in half by her slamming into it. She still clutched an empty whiskey bottle in her hand. Then Chester's inebriated mind processed the sounds of glass being broken nearby, she stepped over the KO'd battleships to see who it was.

Exeter sat beside an overturned table, with a pile of shattered beer bottles on her right, and a stack of intact ones on her left. As Chester watched, Exeter grabbed an intact bottle and broke it against a table leg. It broke off at the neck, Exeter growled and dropped it into the pile of shattered glass before grabbing another whole bottle and repeating the process.

"Exeter? What are you-"

"Gonna stab Carolina." She broke another bottle off too short and cast it aside.

"But why?"

"Talkin' crap 'bout D-dreadnought." Chester eyed the pile of shattered bottles, it didn't look like Exeter was any closer to doing it right, and it probably would only make South Carolina mad anyway.

Leaving the Brit, Chester looked over into the kitchen. Tennessee, Nevada, and Nelson were passed out amid a pile of cans, bottles, and empty boxes of food. Salt Lake City was propped up against a cabinet beside them, still holding a slice of pizza in one hand and a can beer in the other.

Chester heard Pennsylvania's voice from the master bedroom beyond the kitchen, but she quickly tried to ignore the _other_ sounds from in there. The cruiser ducked into the other semi-dining room and looked up to see a German, well the bottom half of her anyway, stuck in the ceiling with her legs dangling freely.

She couldn't tell if she had been going up through the ceiling or coming down through the floor. Several of the humans that had shown up where sprawled atop or under the table in here. Oklahoma had her arms wrapped around one guy in the corner, with both of them out cold as well.

Chester looked up at the German again and decided to see who she was. She meandered over to the stairs, stepping over Wasp (the younger) on the way. The stairs were remarkably clear, with only a few scattered bottles and other bits of trash on the way up.

The German was Blucher, a good girl but super nervous around Norway which was why she was in the US. She was awake surprisingly enough, looking up from her hand of cards as Chester walked up.

"Hallo Chester!"

"Are you okay?"

"Sure I am! Berwick said that I can get taller by decompressing my keel like this!"

Chester noted the County class cruiser's mad grin, "Uh huh."

Not seeing any reason to disturb them further, Chester carefully made her way back down the stairs. The battered drywall showed that not everyone had been so careful. She hung a right back into the living room, found a clear space on the floor near the TV, lay down, and went back to sleep.


	78. Rule 7596

7596\. Fairy dock crews, when a work order doesn't make sense, ask Akashi, Momotori, or Mihara about it before performing it. Somehow, we don't think Ryujo needed an EMALS system.  
7596a. "Sorry, I guess I was a little too tired when I set up the work orders last night." Akashi.  
7596b. "Wait, wasn't I supposed to get Reppu-kai's?" Ryujo.  
7596c. "What the heck is this?" Ranger, CV-61

Yokosuka.

Akashi was exhausted. She and her sisters had been up for the last thirty-one hours patching up the last supply convoy's escort with nothing but coffee and ramen to sustain them, and while she would give anything to curl up next Ooyodo and go comatose, she still had work to do. With Amagi and Aso stable, she finally had an opportunity to start the refits she'd been planning before the Abyssals sent more work her way, and both Ryujo and Ranger(CV-61) had been in the queue for weeks. Eyes straining, she confirmed the dock orders for tomorrow and shut her computer off, stumbling back to her room.

The next day...

^Are you sure these orders are right, boss?^ asked one of the dock fairies.

"^Akashi signed and confirmed them.^ said the foreman. ^Strange they may be, but Akashi's done a lot of strange things over the years that made no sense but somehow work. Let's get it done.^

The fairy looked as the crated aircraft and catapult parts went to their assigned Kanmusu, an uneasy feeling creeping up in the back of his mind.

While that happened, Ooyodo awoke at her normal time and noticed Akashi laying next to her. Smiling, she gave her a peck on the cheek and set her alarm to go off an hour later. With Aso and Taiho stabilized, the only thing going on in the docks was a pair of minor refits, nothing Akashi needed to wake-up early for.

The refits progressed through the day, with Mihara and later Akashi checking on Ryujo and Ranger, blissfully unaware of anything amiss.

"Hey, I know that Ryujo's getting Reppus, but what are we doing with Ranger?" asked Mihara.

"We're giving her an EMALS system." said Akashi. "Medusa figured out how to make Kanmusu versions of them, but she's backed up right now, so I volunteered to refit Ranger while she's stationed here."

"So, should I expect the rest of our carriers to come barging in demanding ones for themselves?" Mihara half-joked.

"Probably not. So far Medusa's only been able to fit them on Constellation and Coral Sea. It seems that it doesn't want to work with mid-war or pre-war classes, though she's hopeful about Oriskany."

"So it won't work for any of our girls?"

"Right now, I'd say no, though if EMALS works for Oriskany, I might try and see if it'll work for Shinano and Hakuryu."

"They'll be happy about that. Shinano's been asking if we can give her an angled flight deck like Midway."

"We'll see." said Akashi. "Oh, good, Ryujo's finished. Why don't you get her some food, and I'll tell the crews to start waking her up."

"Be back in a minute."

Ryujo's eyes fluttered open, adjusting to the infirmary's lights. Looking around her dock, she noticed Akashi and Mihara sitting next to her.

"Hello sleepy-head." said Akashi, grinning. "How do you feel?"

"Tired." said Ryujo groggily. "And hungry."

Mihara laughed. "She's a carrier alright."

As Ryujo climbed out of the docks and dried off, she noticed the cart of food behind them. "Wow."

"Hosho whipped something up a little while ago for you and Ranger." said Akashi. "You two eat up and get your strength back, then we'll go to the training pool."

"The dock crews said everything went perfectly, so barring anything complications, you both should be back home before dinner." added Mihara.

The repair ships guided their patients to the food and went to get the training pool ready, leaving Ryujo and Ranger alone.

"So, how was your refit?" asked Ranger.

"Honestly, kinda weird." said Ryujo. "I know that the Reppus are a lot bigger than the Model 21s I had, but I wasn't expecting them to feel that much heavier. What about you?"

"The opposite, actually." answered Ranger. I feel lighter than normal, but I did get an EMALS, so they probably just took out all of the old steam lines, and the new stuff's a lot lighter."

After the meal(and seconds) Ryujo and Ranger were at the training pool, while Akashi pointed a scanner at them.

"Okay you two," she said. "just summon your rigging like you would normally. The scanner will analyze the energy signatures and make sure you're both in Bristol fashion."

"Huh?"

"Old saying. Never mind."

Ranger summoned her rigging first, the typical flash lighting the room up, and then Ryujo summoned hers. When the flash subsided Ranger stood gracefully in the poll, while Ryujo toppled over.

"Ryujo!"

"What happened?"

"I don't know." stuttered Ryujo. "I summoned my rigging, and suddenly there was this huge weight on my flight deck."

Mihara looked at the scanner while Akashi and Ranger helped Ryujo up. "Uh, Ryujo, since when do you have a catapult?"

"Huh?"

" _What?!_ "

"You got a catapult on your rigging." said Mihara as the scanner was pulled towards Ryujo's flight deck. "And by the looks of it, it's an EMALS."

"Wait, is she got EMALS, then what did I get?" asked Ranger.

All eyes turned towards the supercarrier as she readied her aircraft. Her steam catapult hurled an arrow out towards the pool and flashed, but instead of the F4 Phantoms or Crusaders, a pack of Reppus appeared, climbing to a hundred feet and circling the four Kanmusu.

"Well. this is new." muttered Akashi.

An hour later...

"Sorry girls, this one's on me." said Akashi dejectedly.

"No worries Akashi, we all make mistakes." said Ryujo, grinning. "Besides, with this catapult, I'm now officially the coolest light carrier on the planet."

'Yeah, and my steam cat works fine. The dock workers gave it a tune-up while they installed the planes."

"Speaking of the planes, can I have them now?" asked Ryujo. "I like the Zeros' as much as the next girl, but I could really use something less flammable."

"No problem. I'll just have the crews transfer them to Ryujo." said Mihara.

"And this time, there won't be any mix-ups, from any of us, right guys?" Akashi asked the assembled fairies.

All the fairies did was nod their heads in unison.

"Great, let's get to work."


	79. Rule 7629

7629\. With regards to Victorious' postwar modernization, she doesn't want to talk about it. Her sisters don't want to talk about it, the bloody Royal Navy doesn't want to talk about it. So we're not talking about it.

Portsmouth

"We need more jets."

The unexpected words from Ardent(F184) caused her sisters to look up.

"Huh?" asked Ambuscade.

"We need more jets." repeated Ardent. "The Abyssals are using more and more of those navalized Salamanders, and counting Queen Elizabeth and Prince of Wales, we have exactly four carriers with jets, while the Americans have ten. It's just like the Falklands all over again."

"Please don't say that name again." whimpered Antelope.

Ardent sighed. "Look, I'm sorry sis, but it's true. The Americans and French do their best, but they have their own fleets to cover, and Eagle and Prince of Wales are needed to cover the Med. Hermes and the armored carriers are doing their best, but we need more air support."

"And just how do you suppose we do that, Ardent?" asked Amazon. "If you haven't noticed, we have all of our carriers that had jets barring the Invincibles, unless you want to try for that supercarrier they wanted back in the 60's."

"Actually, we don't." said Ardent. "At least, not completely."

"Eh?"

"She was retired before any of us were commissioned, but Victorious operated jets."

"She did?" asked Ambuscade.

"What kind?" added Antelope.

"How?" finished Amazon.

"She was refitted in the 50's to carry jets." said Ardent. "Sea Vixens, Buccaneers, Sea Hawks, heck, she could probably take F4s."

While Antelope's eyes widened in glee, Amazon and Ambuscade had more skeptical looks.

And you know what the best part is?" continued Ardent.

"What?"

"If Victorious can do it, the other carriers can. All we have to do is have Vanguard or Diligence work their magic, and boom! Six more carriers' worth of jets giving us top cover."

"I don't know, sis. It sorta sounds too good to be true." said Amazon. "I mean, if that refit was so good, don't you think that the Admiralty would've had them carried out by now?"

"Wait, isn't Victorious here now?" asked Antelope.

"Yeah, she and Illustrious just got back from a convoy run, why?" asked Ambuscade.

Antelope's only response was to grab Ardent and bolt out the door.

"Why do I get the feeling that this isn't going to end well?" sighed Amazon.

At the other end of the barracks, Victorious had just settle down to watch the football match with Illustrious and Ark Royal when she heard someone banging on her door.

"Bloody Hell, can't a girl watch a bloody football anymore?" groaned Victorious as she opened the door, revealing Ardent and Antelope standing there, huge grins on their faces.

"Can I help you?"

"Hi, I'm Ardent, and this is Antelope, and we want to talk to you about getting your post-war refit preformed."

For Victorious, timed stopped as the frigate spoke. Then, the floodgates opened as the memories came back. The cost, the false-promises, the loss of her family, and finally, the betrayal by the country she had given so much to. She started shaking, desperately trying to brace herself against the door.

"Hey, are you alright?" she heard one of the frigates say. She turned to face them, and something just _snapped_.

Two hours later...

Ardent groaned as she woke up in the infirmary. "Ugh, what happened?"

"I'm so sorry about what happened." she heard a voice say. "I don't know what came over me."

"Calm down, Vicky." another voice said. "It's not like you hurt them, they just fainted."

"Ardent, are you alright?" Amazon asked.

"I think so, sis. What am I doing in the infirmary?"

"Victorious went into a homicidal rage and you and Antelope fainted." Ambuscade deadpanned.

"How?"

"I'm sorry." cut in Victorious. "I have issues with my refit. A _lot_ of issues. I thought I had gotten over them, but I guess I haven't."

A few hours later, after numerous apologies from Victorious, Ardent and Antelope were speaking with Illustrious before being discharged.

"I get why you two asked Vicky about her refit." said Illustrious. "Honestly, I don't blame you. We need more jets covering the fleet. But Vicky's refit had a lot of problems. It took almost a decade to perform, and it eventually ended up costing so much that they decided to not refit the rest of us, something that Vicky blames herself for. Not to mention that they made the decision to get rid of her the day before she was to return to duty."

"We had no idea." said Antelope.

"We're sorry." added Ardent.

"Don't worry about it. Vicky's okay, and she's going to see the psychologist tomorrow, so hopefully she should be fine from now on."

"That's good." said Antelope.

"I hope she get's better." said Ardent.

Illustrious smiled. "I'll tell her you both said that. I'm sure she'll be happy to hear it."


	80. Rule 7632

7632\. United States, just because the current Secretary of Defenses' name is Johnson does not mean what happened in 1949 is going to happen again. You can stop hiding now.

San Diego

"Say, Indy, you hear the latest from Washington?" asked Constellation.

"No, what happened?" asked Independence(CV-62).

"We got a new SecDef."

"Really? What was wrong with the last one?"

"Secretary Morris had a stroke last year, and his doctors' told him to call it quits before he had another one." said Constellation sadly. "The good news is that he's spent the last year training his replacement, so hopefully it should still be business as usual for the navy.'

"What's the new guy's name?"

"Uh, something Johnson." said Constellation, looking at her phone. "Here it is. Louis A. Johnson, Secretary of Defense."

Before either carrier could say anything else, the sound of a tray slamming into the ground behind them drew their attention. Turning, they saw United States(CV-58) stopped dead in her tracks, face growing paler by the minute.

"No, no, not again!" wailed United States before she ran out of the mess, almost running Ticonderoga over.

'Was it something I said?" asked Constellation.

Two hours later...

"Where the heck is she?" asked Admiral Holloway. 'She's not a submarine, for crying out loud!"

"We're looking for her, sir." said Forrestal. "But so far, we've had no luck. Heck we don't even know why she ran away in the first place."

"Good question." said Holloway, turning to Independence and Constellation. "What were you two doing right before she left?"

"We were talking about the new SecDef."

"Secretary Johnson?" asked Holloway. "I can't see how that could've caused it."

'Wait." said Forrestal. "What's Secretary Johnson's full name?"

"Louis A. Johnson. Why?"

Forrestal's face fell. "That's the same name as the SecDef who canceled her back in '49."

"She probably thought it was happening all over again." said Holloway.

"In that case, I think I know where to find her." said Forrestal.

Ten minutes later, at the summoning pool.

"United States, it's me, Forrestal." said the carrier to the apparently empty room. 'We need you to come back."

"No." a quiet voice quivered. "He'll just say I'm not needed anymore and get rid of me."

Tracking the source of the voice, Forrestal walked over to one of the storage containers and opened it, revealing United States curled up in a fetal position. From her expression, Forrestal knew she had been crying.

"United States, you trust me, right?" asked Forrestal gently.

"Mor-, More than anyone, Forrestal." whispered United States.

"Than trust me when I say that nothing is going to happen to you. This Johnson isn't the one that hurt you back in 1949." she soothed. "No one's going to get rid of you, and even if they want to, they'll have to do it over my dead body."

"You mean that?" asked United States, eyes widening. No one had ever said anything like that before to her.

"Of course." said Forrestal, smiling. "After all, supercarriers stick together."

At United States nod, Forrestal gently gripped her and lifted her out of the storage crate.

'Let's go home."


	81. Rule 7643

7643\. Do not leave newly summoned shipgirls unattended on the base. We're lucky Ranger showed up before Renaissance wandered off.

San Diego.

"Ladies, welcome to Naval Station San Diego." said the Marine driver as the Humvee rolled past the gate.

Her first impression of the naval base was one of awe. Even during the war with China, she'd never seen a yard with so much activity, not even the fabled Washington Yard. For the first time since her summoning by a pair of "weeded-out gamers" as the police officers had called them, she felt excited.

"Yo, where's the girls and booze?"

 _And_ now she was back to nervous. Her companion, Luxington, had spent the entire flight from St. Paul complaining about everything under the Sun. And Moon. Heck, probably the stars too at some point.

"Alright girls, here's your stop." their driver said suddenly, pulling over to the curb.

A young woman on the walked up to the Marine's window. "These the FNGs?"

"Yes, ma'am." replied the Marine. "You're their guide?"

"Unfortunately." groaned Hancock. She watched as the two newbies got out of the Humvee and faced here. "Alright, I'm Hancock, and here's where we stand. I _should_ be off duty and getting wasted right now, but thanks to Wasp getting called away, I'm here babysitting you two. However, that means it's your lucky day."

"How so?" asked Luxington.

"I just got back from a trans-Pacific convoy, finished the paperwork that Lexy's been yelling at me to do since I got back, and I'm out of booze. So, I'm going to the bar. Either of you want to come with?"

Luxington and her companion's eyes widened, though for different reasons .

"Finally, someone speaking my language!" said Luxington. "Let's hit it!"

'Shouldn't we get to our quarters and meet our CO first?" her companion asked.

"Where's the fun in that?" replied Hancock. "C'mon."

'I think we should go to our CO's first."

Hancock was about to say something when Luxington cut her off. "She's wants to be like that, let her. It's her loss."

"You know what, you're right newbie." said Hancock. 'Alright, you're supposed to report to Carrier Strike Group 17. Just head to the main office building."

With that, she and Luxington left, leaving the other girl alone.

"Um, where's the main office building?"

Ten minutes later...

She was lost, no two ways about it. There were no signs anywhere on the base, and none of the personnel she'd tried to ask directions for had given her the time of day. She was just about to give up when she heard someone call out to her.

"You lost?" a female voice said. She turned to see a young woman standing behind her, arms resting against a cart of mail.

"Uh, yes. Very lost." she stuttered. "Do you know where I could find Carrier Strike Group 17's office? Or maybe even just the main office building?"

"CSG 17," said the stranger. "Oh, you're one of Midway's new girls. The ones from those old computer games, right?"

"Um, yes. I just got here, and I'm supposed to report to Strike Group 17's office."

"Shouldn't there be two of you?" asked the stranger. "And isn't Hancock supposed to be your guide?"

"I believe that Hancock and Luxington, my companion, are as they say, "hitting the bar" at the moment."

"Nice to see Hancock's has her priorities straight." said the stranger dryly. "Anyways, I'm Ranger, and since you said your friend's name was Luxington, I assume you're the one from Fallout?"

"Yes, I'm-wait a minute. How do you know that?" she asked.

"Medusa gossips, especially when she gets new patients." said Ranger. "Believe me, from the moment the police back in Minnesota notified the Navy of you two, pretty much every girl on the base knew who the two of you are."

"Well, that's comforting."

"Ah, cheer up kid." said Ranger. "Look, I got mail duty today, and Midway's actually my next stop, so just follow me and we'll get you squared away."

As the two carriers walked towards the building, Ranger occupied the time filling in the new girl about her future comrades.

"So, to clarify." she asked. "Midway goes from being super hardcore battlecarrier to fangirling weab instantaneously."

"Yep."

"Forrestal knows everything there is to know about aircraft and weapons, but gets stumped by a computer game called Pong."

"Yeah, not quite sure how that one happened."

"Independence's way of solving problems is to drop bombs on it till it dies."

"Or beat it to death with her catapult." said Ranger, wincing. "I didn't even know someone could do _that_ with a catapult."

"Constellation is gonna take one look at me and then declare I need a fashion intervention."

"Or worse, a intensive spa-day."

"And finally, United States is going to hug me. A lot."

"That's it." said Ranger, smiling. "Don't worry, they're gonna love you. Oh, there's one more thing. I feel really stupid that I haven't asked you this yet."

"What?"

"What's your name?"

She thought about it for a minute. She'd never known any name other than Rivet City, but she couldn't use that, so she'd spent the entire flight trying to think of a name. Luckily, she remembered something from her past life as a warship, a speech, presumably at her launching.

 _Citizens, today is the start of a new renaissance of American naval superiority.  
_  
"Call me Renaissance."


	82. Rule 7116

7116\. The nickname Sh***y Kitty is to never again be spoken in the presence of CVN-81. Not only did Constellation, America, Enterprise(CVN-65), and John F. Kennedy(CV-67) get royally pissed, but the unfortunate shipgirl in question somehow went far enough that CVN-81 temporarily summoned herself to, quote, "Defend the honor of my namesake, you old scow."

Newport News, Virginia.

"It's a beautiful morning, isn't it, Admiral?"

Admiral Briggs turned and saw Franklin D. Roosevelt, Saratoga(CV-60), and America standing behind him.

"Yes it is, Sara, yes it is." he replied, smiling. 'I can't think of better weather for the ceremony tomorrow."

"She looks spectacular in the sunlight, doesn't she?" said America happily.

"She" was the newly finished aircraft carrier Kitty Hawk, fresh out of trials and ready to embark on her first patrol in two days. Moored next to the Nimitz, she gleamed in the early morning light, covered in flags and banners as her crew readied her for her big day.

"Say, where's E, Connie, and John F. Kennedy?" asked Briggs, noticing that half of FDR's squadron was missing. "Shouldn't they be here too?"

"Oh, they're here sir." said Roosevelt. "Just look at Kitty's bow."

Briggs looked back at the supercarrier, and sure enough, CSG 18's missing members floated in front of the Kitty Hawk's bow, gesturing with their hands. Wait, those gestures looked familiar.

"Are they playing peak-a-boo with the Kitty Hawk?" asked Briggs, surprised.

"Yep. Nimitz is playing too. See?" said Roosevelt, pointing to the other carrier.

Briggs followed her gaze and saw one of the Nimitz's signal lamps flashing by itself. Looking back at CVN-81, he saw one of her lights blinking in response. "Huh?"

"It's an old tradition Midway and FDR started with Forrestal when she was building." said America. "Since then, every carrier in the fleet has played peak-a-boo when she's building, being commissioned, and when she deploys for the first time."

"Yep, and this is the first time we've been able to do this as shipgirls." added Roosevelt. "Heck, I think the last time any of us aside from E or John F. Kennedy did this was with V."

"V?" asked Briggs. "Oh, you mean Carl Vinson?"

"Yes Admiral." nodded Saratoga. "Oh, look. Here come E, Connie, and Kennedy."

Enterprise(CVN-65), Constellation, and John F. Kennedy(CV-67) walked up and joined the little group. They spent the next half-hour chatting, admiring the Kitty Hawk, and in America's, Constellation's, Enterprise's, and John F. Kennedy's case, reminiscing.

"Oh, I wish Kitty was here to see this." said Enterprise wistfully. It took Briggs a moment to realize she was talking about CV-63, and not CVN-81.

"Don't worry kiddo." said FDR. "Knowing her, she's probably just taking her sweet time getting back here."

"Yeah, and when she does get here, all she'll say is "Oh, I was just taking the scenic route." laughed Saratoga.

"Not to mention, at least a part of her is still here." added John F. Kennedy.

CV-63's old crews had fought tooth and nail to save her back in 2018, but ultimately, she had met her end in Brownsville like her sisters, but her crew still won a victory, however hollow, by getting the Navy's promise to christen the upcoming CVN-81 in honor of their ship, and the materials used to build her included parts from Kitty Hawk the elder.

"Yes, J." said FDR. "She's here alright."

The seven continued to watch Kitty Hawk until another voice broke the relative silence of the pier.

"Wow, she's huge Caron." The group turned to see a pair of destroyers staring at the carrier.

"Yes Merril, she is."

"Is it true that they used scrap from the Kitty Hawk to build her?"

"Uh huh." said the other, presumably Caron. "They used pieces from the old Sh***y Kitty herself."

As the two destroyers continued talking, Constellation, Enterprise, America, and John F. Kennedy all had looks of shock and anger on their faces.

"Why that little twerp.." Constellation said as she began to walk towards them, only for Saratoga to stop her.

"Connie." she said, grabbing the younger carrier. "Stop. She ain't worth it"

"Like Hell she isn't." growled Constellation. 'Did you hear what that brat called my sister?!"

"I know." said Saratoga. "But you can't just go off on her like a bull in a China shop."

Before anyone could say anything else, the two destroyers started speaking loud enough to be overheard again. "Wait Caron, so if they used parts from the old Kitty Hawk to make this one, and that one was the Sh***y Kitty, does that mean that this one's also the Sh***y Kitty?"

Saratoga's calm face changed to anger in a flash. "Screw it. Connie you hold 'em down. I'll get the tools." she said, only for Briggs to stop her.

"Girls, girls, stop! That's an order." he said, stopping all of them in their tracks. "Believe me, I'd like nothing more than to let you by and get those two for calling your sister and CVN-81 those names, but.."

Before he could say anything else, a bright flash erupted from CVN-81's deck. and everyone watched as a young woman appeared and jumped of the deck onto the pier, landing right in front of the two destroyers.

"You got something to say about my namesake, say it to her face!" yelled the woman as she grabbed the two destroyers by the scruffs of their necks and hurled them out into Chesapeake Bay. Seeing the two destroyers fly off into the Sun, she turned, waved at the people on the pier and on the ships, and then jumped back onto the flight deck, vanishing in another flash.

"What the Hell _just happened_?" asked John F. Kennedy

"I think we just saw CVN-81." said Roosevelt.

Just then, a foghorn sounded from the Nimitz.

"You're right, Nimitz, she _does_ have Kitty's temper." said Saratoga.

"I'll call the Coasties to go fish them out." said Briggs.


	83. Rule 7628

7628\. Until their differences are settled, Foch and Charles De Gaulle are not allowed in the same port.  
7628a. Yes, this does have something to do with the De Gaulle sounding off her foghorns repeatedly.

Toulon

It was a quiet morning in Toulon. Not counting Force de Raid and Force de Aviation, the only people on the base aside from the staff was Graf Zeppelin, Scharnhorst, and Gneisenau. They were on a layover from an Irish Sea patrol, and all three hoped for a little time to relax before returning to Wilhelmshaven.

Of course, someone else had other ideas.

All three jumped as the relatively quiet harbor was shattered by a combination of shouting and foghorns.

"Was zum Teufel?!" asked Gneisenau.

"My ears!" groaned Graf.

"Who's making that racket?" said Scharnhorst.

"Relax, it's just Foch and de Gaulle having another shouting match." said Duquesne, shouting to be heard over the din. "See?"

Following her gaze, the three Kanmusu saw a woman standing on one of the piers, shouting at the top of her lungs in French to where the Charles De Gaulle, just returned from a six month deployment in the Mid-Atlantic, was moored.

The carrier seemed to wait for the woman to finish her tirade before giving another loud blast from the horn.

"Could someone please shut them up?" groaned Scharnhorst. "I think my ears are bleeding."

"Don't worry." answered Duquesne. "Clemenceau will break them up shortly. Ah, here she comes."

Sure enough, another woman walked up behind Foch and grabbed her, carrying her back to shore while she hurled more insults at the de Gaulle.

"Hey, isn't that Admiral Masson?" asked Graf, pointing to another woman entering the barracks behind the two Kanmusu.

"Oh, dear." said Duquesne. "She looks pissed."

Two hours later...

Admiral Masson sighed as she left the barracks, wondering what she was going to do with Foch. She was desperately needed to help guard the convoys, especially since the Abyssals had deployed E.560's from somewhere in the GIUK Gap, but she couldn't start an argument with the De Gaulle every she put in. Her phone line was jammed up with people filing noise complaints, Admiral Trigette was telling her to get her shipgirl under control and stop her from insulting his ship, and finally, someone from Paris was still breathing down her neck from the last argument six months ago. To make matters worse, she still didn't know _why_ Foch was arguing with the De Gaulle. Granted, the younger Clemenceau's temper ran hotter than her sister's, but something about the De Gaulle made her lose it every time. Which was why Clemenceau was following her back to her office.

"Clem," she began when they sat down. "you said last time this happened you would handle things between Foch and De Gaulle, yet here we are again."

"I know, Admiral." said Clemenceau softly. "And that's my fault. I thought Foch was going to be fine while Charlie was back home, but when we went to get breakfast she ran to the pier."

Masson sighed, rubbing her temple. "I know you said you didn't really want to tell me why those two were arguing last time, but I need to know. This can't keep going on."

"Very well." said Clemenceau. "You do know that before Charlie was built, me and Foch were the core of the Marine National, right?"

"Yes, why?"

"Back in the early eighties, both me and Foch heard rumors about the Admiralty building a new carrier to replace us. By the time Desert Storm came and went, we both realized that it wouldn't be too long before Charlie was finished."

"And that didn't go over too well with Foch?"

"Not at first. You can imagine what happened. My sister, standing at the foot of her flight deck, screaming and raving about how much life me and her still had left in us when the only one who could hear her was me. Yes, she wasn't happy. But, towards the end of the decade, the two of us had come to terms with our eventual retirement. After all, we had both lived long, good lives. We'd kept France safe for a little over three decades, and we were ready to pass on the torch to Charlie when she was ready."

"Then, what happened?" asked Masson, puzzled.

"One of the reasons why we'd come to terms with retirement was that we felt that we'd go together. Sure, one of us might last a few more months in service until Charlie was fully operational, but the two of us planned that we'd finish our lives together, first in mothballs, than at a shipbreaker somewhere. We both could live with that. But then, after we were retired, Brazil bought Foch, and used me as spares. While it hurt me that I was leaving my little sister alone in the world, it _destroyed_ Foch. When they came for me, the last thing I heard was her, crying, begging them not to separate us."

"And Foch is holding a grudge against Charles De Gaulle." guessed Masson.

"Yes." said Clemenceau. "The vast majority of those who authorized her transfer to Brazil are either dead or retired, and even though Charlie was, _is,_ still just a steel hull, with no say in whatever happened to us, she makes a good scapegoat for Foch."

"Have you tried getting the two to sit down and talk it out?" asked Masson.

"More than I can count." sighed Clemenceau. "Hell, the last argument the two had started with them trying to bury the hatchet. At this point, the only idea I have left is to separate them. Completely. And it's not like that's gong to solve the problem."

"But, it may give them both time to cool off. You sister still likes Britain, right?" asked Masson, an idea coming to mind.

"Yes, why do you ask?"

"Admiral Graham's trying to summon the carriers that the RN wanted back in the sixties. If he's successful, they're going to need someone to train them."

'You want to send my sister to the British?"

"Only temporarily. A few months if Graham isn't successful, and if he his, she stays until they're ready. It'll give her time to cool off, and since she'd only be in Portsmouth, you'll be able to talk to her about her problem with De Gaulle."

At Clemenceau's expression, she added. "You said it yourself, the only idea you have left is to separate the two. At the very least it will get all of the people with noise complaints off our backs."

Clemenceau looked thoughtful. "At this point, I really don't see another option. I'll tell Foch, and while she's at Portsmouth I'll try and convince her to bury the hatchet with Charlie."

"Good. I'll cal Graham and set it up."


	84. Rule 7711

7711\. Ulyanovsk is now assigned to Carrier Strike Group 18 for the foreseeable future. Since she A: Doesn't have any planes, and B: Doesn't have anyone to train her.  
7711a. Also, the Russians wanted to stop hers and Kamchatka's "improvisations"  
7711b "How did either of you think that could fly?!" the Russian admiralty.

"Admiral!"

Admiral Reznov sighed as Gangut burst into his office, idly wondering what disaster his secretary had discovered this time. The Russian shipgirl fleet was fairly small compared to other nations, but they made up for it in craziness.

"What is it, Gangut?"

"It's Ulyanovsk, sir." said Gangut.

"What about her?" asked Reznov. "Kamchatka hasn't convinced her to join her crusade to restore the czar, has she?"

"No, not that." said Gangut. "It's her planes. Or lack thereof."

"Is Kamchatka having trouble with the schematics for the MiG-29K?"

"She was sir." replied Gangut. "In fact, she's completely given up on trying to make sense of either the MiG or the Su-33 and decided to "improvise"."

The way Gangut said that last word sent a chill down Reznov's spine. "Take me to them. NOW."

Kamchatka's workshop.

"Are you sure this will work?" asked Ulyanovsk hesitantly. "They look nothing like the planes on the blueprints."

"Tsk, tsk, tsk." said Kamchatka. "Do not fear, for these aircraft are of my own design."

The aircraft in question looked, well, _strange_ would be a nice way of putting it. It looked like someone had taken a MiG-15, turned it into a biplane, and bolted a Gatling gun onto the undercarriage.

"I'm not sure we should be doing this."

"Oh, you worry too much." chastised Kamchatka. "Just launch the plane already. What could possibly go wrong?"

Ulyanovsk shrugged and readied her catapult, lining up on the test range. The plane hurled off the flight deck and immediately banked right, clearly out of control. Ulyanovsk and Kamchatka watched in horror as the plane suddenly climbed straight up and exploded in a fireball, burning wreckage falling back to earth.

"Kamchatka!" both girls turned to see Admiral Reznov behind them his face red with anger.

"Oops?" the repair ship said nervously.

Three hours later...

"A MiG-15 _biplane_?" asked Admiral Briggs incredulously. "How does that even work?"

"It _didn't_."

Briggs looked at his Russian counterpart through the computer. "As astounding as that story is, I get the feeling this isn't the only reason you called me."

"Nothing gets past you, old friend. You are correct." Reznov smiled."My higher-ups are currently speaking with your higher-ups about the real reason I called you."

"Which is?"

"The transferring of Ulanovsk to your command for the purposes of outfitting her with aircraft and training her on how to use them."

Brigg's eyes widened comically. " _What_?"


	85. Rule 7729

_7729\. Just because you can summon your ship hull does not mean you can use it for a side business.  
_ _ **7729a. Titanic is an exception because he's helping a group of software designers design an amazing computer game.  
7729b. For the love of - no, you can't use your ship hulls for live-action World of Warships battles, either! Why would you even **___**ask**__ _ **such a thing?!**_

 _Hawaii, some days after the_ _January incident_

"I still can't believe you're sweet-talking me into this. You're absolutely sure about this, even after what happened in Japan?" Langley raised a brow at her husband, arms folded over her chest as she put the question to him. "My dear, it's not a side purpose if I'm doing what I was meant to do now, is it?" Titanic chuckled, smoothing a hand through the carrier's blonde hair before pressing a kiss to her forehead. "Trust me on this. I'll take full responsibility if Holloway has a conniption over it." "Well, if you insist..." The mother of all American carriers would step back, letting her taller companion step up to the water. "After you, Ti."

Stretching his arm out over the water, the liner shut his eyes, recalling his original steel hull, the way it had been in those five halcyon days before his ( _her_ , back then) career had come to a literal grinding halt. Here he was in the middle of the Pacific, so far away from the site of his wreck, and yet that connection to his former shell never really left him. How could it ever, when the memories of the night that sank him - the Night To Remember - were by now engraved into the collective consciousness of the Western world? His hand closed into a fist, as though he had grabbed hold of an unseen hawser, and Titanic _pulled_.

As with Akigumo summoning her hull, seeing it make its appearance was like watching a vastly sped-up timelapse of the ship being built, three years of work compressed into the span of a couple of seconds or less, and only one who could slow the perception of time would have been able to follow it all - the plan of the keel spreading into existence upon the water, the stem making its ascent to form the knife edge of the bow, the frames shooting up to the heavens on either side like stalks of steel bamboo, the inch-thick shell plating covering the framework as machinery and fittings materialized into existence, paint coats and deck after deck being added as the vessel began to settle into the water, superstructure and rigging and funnels topping it all off - Ezechiel's vision of dry bones coming to life rendered in ship form.

Even in this day and age, and even if it was a familiar enough sight thanks to its recurring reappearance whenever he was tapped to make a delivery, Titanic's original hull was still an imposing, stately sight, and seeing it up close like this gave the unnerving impression that one had stepped back in time, and possibly awoken the dead. Today however, was a different affair than the usual cargo haul, as he'd managed to convince his wife to hitch a ride with him to San Diego instead of making the trip herself like usual, just this once. The journey would take just four days, instead of the six Langley would have made at full speed, and in any case the ocean liner was taking precaution after precaution to ease any fears of a '1912 Encore': among other things constant radio contact with all patrols and even arming himself with the same six-inchers his older brother used (how weird it was, he thought, to bear them and other improvements upon his person and not on his hull. pondering the paradox was liable to give one headaches). At least there would be no icebergs at these latitudes.

"Come aboard?" There was a moment of hesitation, Langley looking up at the vessel before her in awestruck silence, before the carrier took Titanic's hand and stepped onto the gangway leading to the entrance on D Deck. "I feel like I'm trespassing on a work of art," she muttered, earning a laugh from the liner as he ushered her on board. "Work of art though the interiors might be, keeping distance from them wouldn't be the right way to appreciate them," he said, shutting the door behind her before leading her up the famous Grand Staircase. "They were meant to be used after all! We ocean liners took great pride, and still take pride, in the amenities our old hulls boasted. My colleagues had some spectacular furnishingsthemselves, from what I hear tell."

Langley's curiosity was piqued now. Reading about the interiors of the 'ship of dreams' was one thing, but actually seeing them firsthand? "Well then. Maybe you should show me around on the trip back to San Diego how about that? Just promise me there won't be any quoting of the movie - you know which one I mean!" The liner chuckled at that, tipping his hat at her in a salute as he led her out to the boat deck and into the captain's stateroom, where they'd be staying for the trip. "Yes ma'am. Once we're under way I'll give you the whole nine yards of the ins and outs of this fine piece of work." Titanic smiled just a bit, as they began to make their way out to open ocean. "I have to admit though, there is one side project involving this hull that I tried to get the admirals' blessings for before proceeding." "And they made an exception?" That was new. Which admiral would have allowed this one exception, Langley wondered?

"Surprisingly. Some fine gentlemen are designing a computer game set within these very interiors, and they want it to be as accurately modeled and detailed as possible. It having VR support means players will be able to see all of this, inside and out, as though they were right here on board!" Titanic explained, evidently more than a little excited for the prospect of the upcoming game. "So I decided to chip in, in a way, and give them as much detailed information about my hull and everything in it I can get away with revealing. Plans, dimensions, specs, designs... all of it anonymous or indirect contributions of course," he added, a bit of a mischievous grin on his face. "Low-profile as ever I see. Lucky for me I don't have to settle for the virtual experience," Langley remarked, once again seizing him by the tie to steal a kiss. "Now then. Let's get ourselves steaming to San Diego shall we? And then you sir, _you_ are showing me around pronto."

Within the hour, they were steaming east from the coast of Hawaii, with nothing out ahead of them but ocean. Over the course of the trip, Titanic took Langley on a tour through his old hull, showing her around everything he had to offer back in those days: promenades (good place to shoot at Abyssals from, by the way), reception areas, lounge, reading and writing room, gym, even squash courts and swimming pool and Turkish baths. Even the crew and staff spaces were hers to have a poke around: how could he keep anything of his old shell secret from her, when she had been the one to claim his heart? (and indeed, he said as much when they went down into the engine room, the literal heart of the vessel) Only the cabins that had belonged to the victims of a century past were kept locked, out of respect for their spirits and their privacy. By the fourth day of their passage, they'd visited every dining space on board at least twice, feasting to their heart's content on Titanic's formidable culinary prowess.

~*~* ~~*~ ~**

It was near their journey's end that the relative quietude of the previous few days was broken by the distant sound of naval artillery. Langley was first to the bridge wings, having swiped the binoculars to try and see further out, trying to see who or what had done it, and whether they should open or hold fire. Titanic for his part was keeping an ear out for any transmissions he could pick up, and what he ended up hearing was enough to make him stride purposefully to the helm - while he still had absolute power over his old hull, getting hands-on was reserved for when shit was about to hit the fan. "Live-fire exercises?" Langley queried. "More like live-action wargaming." The slight growl in her husband's voice was so very much like his older brother's when he was ticked off. "Have a listen on the open frequencies, it sounds like a gamer's chat box in there. Apparently the old World of Warships craze made a bit of a resurgence..."

"What?" If looks could kill, Langley's glare towards the sea ahead of them could massacre several Ru-class in one fell swoop. "If any carriers are involved, Mama's gonna have to have some words with them," she muttered, her rigging soon at the ready in case she had to return fire. There was another question on her mind too, a question of a more metaphysical nature. "Isn't it dangerous though? Does damage to their summoned hulls count as damage to themselves?" "I've heard of it happening to Olympic at least once before," Titanic said, "but it was minor and I'm not sure if it counted, and I sure as heck do _not_ want to find out for myself." Langley's answer was more than apt for the circumstances: "Let's just hope they don't end up tacking an F to their LARPing, or in this case LAWGing."

As the West Coast came into view over the horizon, the pair of them could see the source of the commotion they'd heard: about a dozen shipgirls had apparently taken to summoning their hulls for some live-action World of Warships a good distance off the coast for who the fuck knew why. "I can't believe this," Langley muttered, watching the chaos unfolding. "Alabama, North Carolina, both SoDak _and_ Phoenix... And please tell me that's not Lexington I spy." "There is not a snowflake's chance in hell we're getting through that gauntlet. Hang in tight love, I'm going to have to round it." And then the first shell came down a bit too close for comfort to the port side of the hull, right as Titanic began the turn to try and go around to avoid having to pass into the crossfire.

Needless to say, that did not sit well with the ocean liner, who was now keeping the helm stubbornly at hard over and turning southwards from his original course at full speed. "Who did that?! Whose fire was that?" Langley had no time to dwell on the perp's identity, answering the (no doubt accidental) fire with a launch of several planes of her own, her way of announcing 'Mama's back' to the shipgirls involved. Especially Lexington. "Does it matter? We have to get out of the line of fire, stat, or at least get the ladies to hold their damn fire while we pass!" "They can see us right? As surely as we can see them from this distance?" Titanic asked, voicing his thoughts out loud as another volley of shells overshot its mark, coming down in the waters between his hull and Phoenix's. "Oh they probably can, but they're probably preoccupied with their all-out showdown right about now," Langley grumbled, binoculars to her eyes once more. "Competition can get pretty fierce when they get really into it."

Goddamn, as unsettlingly mesmerizing as it was to watch the fire being exchanged, Titanic's only thought was to get the hell out of dodge and swing around the area before anything could happen - and as he began the northward arc to find safe passage between the 'gauntlet' and home base, another misaimed volley landed closer than he would have preferred. "Oh for chrisakes! Langley my dear I'm going to transmit, might want to tune out right about now!" Up to now the liner had avoided transmitting directly to them - his rotary spark gap transmitter had a tendency to drown out other transmissions because of the broad bandwidth of its signals - but in this case, he needed to make himself heard loud and clear to every shipgirl in a 250 mile radius, and the distinctive tone of the rotary spark would make it unmistakable as to who was coming to call.

 _CQ CQ DE MGY, have been fired at, not amused_. The words famously misattributed to Queen Victoria were a fine example of British understatement, and a damn good way for the liner to vent his displeasure without being foul-mouthed about it. If they hadn't been paying much notice to his presence due to being 'in the zone', he'd certainly gotten them to realize there was a neutral party passing through and getting caught in the crossfire. Titanic's knuckles were white from how hard he was gripping the ship's wheel while terse transmissions were exchanged (among other things, objections to him butting in on the frequency, minor panic on whether he'd been hit or not, an offer to use his hull for target practice), but within a couple of minutes it seemed an understanding had been reached, and he breathed a long, tired sigh of relief. "I'll take that to mean we can pass in peace now?" Langley asked, plane-firing rifle at the ready just in case. The liner's only reply was a quiet nod, and they managed to round the naval gunfight with little trouble after that.

Their arrival in San Diego was a little subdued, though they made it intact and with an hour to spare before the sun went down. "I'm sorry the trip ended in such a... fiasco, I should say," the liner admitted ruefully, rubbing the back of his neck a little flusteredly. "Running into trouble on the last leg of a journey seems to be a running problem of mine when passengers are involved." "Shhh, shhh don't you dare say that buster. It was still a sweet gesture, taking me all this way, showing me the sights." As stressful as that had been, the carrier didn't seem to hold it against him, hand in hand with him as he walked her back to her quarters. "Besides, I think we handled that well enough? I'm still going to have words with Lexington later on-", and then Langley jabbed her husband in the chest with her finger, "But _you_ are going to get yourself to bed, you didn't sleep a wink in four days and you need to catch up on your rest." Titanic just laughed, stifling a yawn with his cap to no avail before conceding to her. Having stood lookout night after night meant that, guilty as charged, he hadn't slept the whole time. "Yes ma'am."

~*~* ~~*~ ~**

"Sit." Admiral Holloway's tone brooked no contradictions or objections. The motley crew of cruisers and battleships who had been involved in the incident of the day prior (minus Lexington, who had been treated to the full wrath of the Mother Carrier herself) sat down, still a bit banged up from the mayhem they had gotten up to, their reactions anywhere from 'oh shit' to 'worth it' to 'rats, foiled again'.

"Explain." Never had Admiral Holloway sounded more like Minerva McGonagall's intimidating American cousin than in that moment.


	86. Rule 7745

7745\. Whoever told Renaissance that the F-111B was one of the greatest carrier-borne fighters ever designed, we'll give you credit for a good prank. Then, we'll give you the bill for the resources spent equipping her with an entire air wing of them.  
7745a. Jason, next time you're asked to build an aircraft that you've never heard of, Google it first. Please.

San Diego.

"So Medusa, what's the verdict on Renaissance?" asked Midway.

"Well, considering that design wise, she's some sort of cross between an Essex, a Forrestal, and a Nimitz, and that I basically need to draw up the blueprints from scratch, she's not actually that bad."

"I'm right here, you know." grumbled Renaissance.

"Anyway, her catapults, arresting lines, and elevators are already tuned for our aircraft. Which is good, because all of her aircraft need to be replaced minus the Vertibirds." said Medusa. "Even then, I'll still need to upgrade their avionics. And that's not even counting the rest of her systems."

"Just how much needs to go?" asked Renaissance.

"All of them." said Medusa. "Good grief, how many vacuum tubes do you have?"

"Anyway, so how long will it take?" asked Midway.

"And cost?" added Wright.

"To answer Midway, four weeks, at least because I have to gut all of her electronics, and as for the cost," answered Medusa, typing on her tablet. "wow."

Wright's face fell. "What does wow mean?"

"Four weeks!?" said Renaissance. 'I'm that obsolete?"

"Well, it could be worse. I remember when Iowa talked about her 80's refit."

"The good news is that when I'm finished, you'll have all the latest tech from the twenty-first century. EMALS, 3-D radars, SEARAMS."

"How much is "wow?" asked Wright despondently.

"Remember that windfall you were so happy about?"

"Why?"

"It's gone now."

As Wright collapsed into sobs, Medusa started to pat her head while finishing her conversation with the two carriers. "Anyway, how does Friday sound for a start date?"

Two weeks later...

"Hey, Jason?" asked Medusa.

"Yeah?"

"Could you do me a favor and work on Renaissances' planes? Alcor needs my help with Maddox."

"Sure, no problem. I'll ask Curtis for help."

"Good. She's already getting the A-6E+, so all she needs are fighters."

Jason left the docks and headed next door to the workshop, where she found Curtis in her usual place, passed out under her desk.

"Curtis, wake up!"

"Uhg, what?" the aircraft tender groaned.

"What's the best fighter for a supercarrier the size of a Nimitz?"

Curtis looked at the young repair ship and thought about her question. Her job as an aircraft tender meant that unless a carrier took enough damage that she couldn't repair her fighters internally, she basically sat around and did nothing. Which translated to boredom. Lots and lots of boredom. So, as she looked through the blueprints she had in her store, an idea came to mind.

"I know just the thing." she said, smiling innocently. "How does the F-111b sound?"

Jason looked puzzled. "I've never heard of it."

"It's only regarded as the best post-war carrier fighter in history." scoffed Curtis. "And here I thought you repair ships actually knew things."

"But, if it's so good, why don't any of the carriers use it?"

Curtis had to come up with something quick. "Well, if you must know, it was originally going to replace the F-4 Phantom in the seventies, but the Tomcat got picked instead."

"Wait, than how is it supposed to be good if it didn't get ordered?"

"Because Grumman was in bed with the Navy. The thing smoked that overweight kitty." lied Curtis. "Here are the plans."

"Thanks Curtis!" beamed Jason. "I'll get right to work."

 _This'll be worth a few laughs,_ thought Curtis.

Two weeks later..

Exercise Gate Guard was one of the happier products of the Abyssal War. Recognizing early in the conflict that the major navies in the Pacific had to work together in order to combat the Abyssals, a series of interoperability exercises between the USN, JMSDF, and the RAN had culminated in an annual wargame that included the PLAN, RSN, ROKN, and RCN off San Diego once that area of the ocean had been cleared. This year, the carrier Carl Vinson, in company with the half of CSGs 17 and 4, along with their escorts and about a third of the Pacific's fast battleships were to act as the aggressors, tasked with destroying the fleet defending San Diego to clear the way for a hypothetical amphibious invasion. On the defending side, the carrier Shandong and LHAs America and Khe Sanh were tasked with sinking the Vinson. Steaming alongside the Khe Sanh, Renaissance readied her planes. Her pilots had been practicing for the last week and a half with her new planes, and they were ready. She hoped so, at least, as she watched the last of her fighters take off to intercept the fighters that the cruiser Fujian had picked up on radar. The Corsairs from Saratoga(CV-3) and Franklin were dueling with the Hellcats and Dauntless' from Wasp, Oriskany, and Ticonderoga roughly 20 miles SW of her position, but now they had Forrestal's F-14's inbound from the north. Worried about a possible third strike, the Khe Sanh's F-35bs were kept in a five mile orbit of the task force while Renaissance's fighters went to deal with the new threat.

The commander of VFMA-121 looked behind him for the second time in as many minutes, checking to make sure the Intruder was still behind him. His squadron of Lightnings were spaced out in front of Forrestal's and United State's bombers to conceal them from the defender radar, while Forrestal's F-14's flew top-cover. So far, it seemed to be working, as his HUD showed a squadron of fighters rapidly closing on the Tomcats. _Almost show time,_ he thought.

The leader of Renaissance's fighters readied his missiles. Both squadrons were in range of each other, but the Phoenix's performance at range was lousy to say the least, so neither was ready to pull the trigger. As the range narrowed to forty miles, he gave the order to lock weapons. Before anyone in his squadron could fire, however, the F-14's broke formation and reversed course, pulling several high-G turns. Suddenly, the cockpits of each of the F-111bs blared with warnings as they picked up enemy targeting locks.

The maneuver went off without a hitch. As soon as they were targeted, the F-14's peeled away from their positions, clearing firing arcs for VMFA-121. Their onboard computers simulated the launch of their AMRAAMs, forcing the F-111bs to break their formation, each aircraft pulling hard maneuvers to evade the nonexistent weapons. However, the F-111b's infamous unwieldiness was their downfall, as the computers scored seven clean kills, Renaissance's entire CAP. As the "dead" planes left the combat area, the Tomcats retook their place in front of the F-35s, with the Intruders still safely tucked behind them.

The Khe Sanh's F-35s sprang into action, immediately vectoring to intercept the bogeys, while the Fujian, Anshan, Benfold, and Farragut readied their own weaponry. As soon as the aggressors hit the thirty mile mark away from the task force, the Intruders dove down from behind the F-35s. Seeing the eruption of hostile signatures, the weapons crews and pilots immediately switched to attack the bombers, while the escorts attacked the F-33s. As Renaissance and the Khe Sanh turned away from the furball, escorted by USS Fort Worth, USS Coronado, and HMAS Anzac, reports came in from the Shandong's group, reporting that it and the America were also under heavy air attack. It seemed that aggressors were extremely good at keeping their force hidden, as all attempts to back track their plane's paths had come up short. Well, _almost_ all attempts.

Approximately a hundred miles _south_ of the exercise.

{Where the hell is our carrier?"} asked the vertibird's copilot.

{I don't know. We should be right on top of them."} answered the pilot.

The vertibird had been deployed by Renaissance to search for any subs attempting to sneak in behind them, but now they were beginning to run low on fuel thanks to the load of torpedoes they were carrying.

{Should we break radio silence?}

{Hang on, I'm getting a signal.} the radio operator said suddenly.

{Our carrier?}

{Negative. It's a sonobouy. Not one of ours though.}

{I see it.} said the pilot. {I'll come in low, and you trace the signal back to its owner}

{You sure that's a good idea?}

{Better that ditching.}

The 'bird flew low over the buoy, the flight crew silent as the radioman worked. {Alright, I can't trace the signal, but it looks like however dropped it did it in a line that we can follow, but we'll have to skim the wavetops.}

{Just like Hansel and Gretel.} said the pilot.

{Let's just hope that nothing eats these breadcrumbs. We got about thirty-five minutes of fuel left.}

{If we don't find anything by the time we get to twenty-five minutes, we'll break silence.}

The 'bird continued on its flight, tracing the line of buoys for ten minutes. Just as the yellow caution light went on, the radioman spoke again. {Hey, I'm picking up some chatter. Sound's like aircraft vectors.}

{Where?}

{Can't tell the distance, but it's straight ahead through that fogbank.}

{Hope there's no cursed ghost ship in it.} said the copilot.

{You really need to get out more.} replied the pilot dryly.

The 'bird was enveloped in the fog, both pilots expecting to soon see daylight. Instead, they saw a grey mountain in front of them.

{Bank! Bank! Bank!} shouted the copilot as the pilot slammed the yoke to it's side, veering away from the Arleigh Burke that suddenly appeared in their windshield. Splitting the gap between it and a Zumwalt, the 'bird pulled a hard right. The pilots barely had a chance to catch their breath before an enormous 70 filled their windshield.

{Pull up!}

As the 'bird climbed, one of the coffee cups in the cockpit fell out of its holder, hitting the weapons switch. Thankfully, the torps still had their safeties on, but the computer simulated all four fish being deployed, and all four homing in on the loudest target in range.

Admiral David Chamberlain, commanding the Vinson and her strike group, barely had time to spit out his coffee when a vertibird buzzed the island before the sound of alarms rang throughout the compartment.

"Damage report!"

The Vinson's captain merely gestured to the display, still overcoming the shock.

"You've got to be _kidding_ me." growled Chamberlain as he stared at the display, showing a red outline of his ship with the word "SUNK" blinking over it.

Three days later...

"So, let me get this straight." said Admiral Briggs slowly. "Your team was under heavy air attack, had lost about half of your Kanmusu and conventional escorts, both Shandong and America had taken heavy damage, when one of Renaissance's ASW craft manages to find, and sink, the Carl Vinson by complete chance? How?"

"Turns out, Vertibirds have a very small radar cross section from the front. Couple that with their low-flying, the fog, and the fact that the majority of the Vinson's task force was radar silent to prevent detection, they never saw them coming." said Midway.

"Rub it in, why don't you?" groaned Constellation.

"Ensign Renaissance's accomplishment certainly won us the day," said the Shandong's admiral. "but I do have one question."

"Yes, Admiral Shang?"

"What the hell happened to Renaissance's fighters? I'm aware that they were caught off-guard, but the AMRAAM's not that good."

"I second that." said Forrestal. "My pilot's never got a good look at your planes, Renny. What were you flying?"

"F-111bs" answered Renaissance, to everyone's surprise.

"F-111b's?" echoed Midway.

"Yes, why?"

"The "Not enough thrust in all of Christaindom to make a Navy fighter" F-111b?"

'Huh?" asked Renaissance. "But Jason said that they were the best carrier fighters ever developed."

"Try the worst." said Forrestal. "Coral Sea tried them back in the 70's. The only evasive maneuver they were good at was flying straight and level."

"Well, we're going to need some new planes." sighed Midway.

Curtis's workshop, later that day...

When Curtis heard the door open, she turned around to come face-to-face with a very _happy_ looking Midway.

"I have hand it to you. Giving Renny those crates was a good prank." she said, smiling. "I'm never going to let Forrestal or Vinny live that one down. But that pales in comparison to what I'm going to do with you."

"What are you going to do to me?" stammered Curtis.

Midway reached into her hold, but instead of pulling out a weapon, she simply pulled out a sheet of paper. "The bill, both for the materials used for the F-111bs, and for their replacement Tomcats and Superbugs."

" _Tomcats? Superbugs?_ " whimpered Curtis as the cost went through her head.

Midway simply smiled. "I told Renny to spare no expense. She earned it."

As the aviation tender sank to a crying heap, Midway placed the bill on her desk and walked out. Her team had won, and she had a party to get to.


	87. Rule 7827

**7827: Replacing the standard SRBs with your propellant that would make everyone at the Otto Hain Institute orgasm is not okay!  
7828: Phoenix, what have you done?!  
7829: Phoenix, report to the Admiral's office.  
7830: Phoenix is confined to her quarters both as a suitable punishment and to keep the shuttle girls from murdering her!**

Phoenix cackled to herself as she slipped silently across the open field and down into the flame trench. Above her sat Columbia. Her fellow science!shipgirl sat vertical connected to her stack and she was sound asleep. Perfect! Phoenix set down the load she was carrying. A pair of boosters identical to the ones that currently loomed above her. The only difference was in the propellant. The standard SRBs used solid rocket fuel hence their name. But these would be using her own specially designed propellant. It burned at the same rate as the old stuff but gave off twice as much thrust! Quickly, she switched out the boosters, allowing herself a snicker as she carried the old ones away. Come morning, this was gonna be quite the show!

Launch day. Phoenix was among the crowd gathered to watch Columbia's second launch as a shipgirl and the fifth overall. Beside her stood fellow science!shipgirl South Dakota who was eyeing the cruiser knowingly and getting an affirmative nod in return. And Challenger, who had lead the way in the new program for shipgirls. All three turned their eyes to the clock.

"10 seconds." South Dakota read.

The crowd picked up the count. "9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... LIFTOFF!"

All three girls cheered as Columbia made a flawless assent, clearing the tower and beginning the roll onto her back. And that's when Phoenix's new propellant began to change things. Challenger was the first to notice. "She's going a bit fast." She said.

"She'll be fine." Phoenix shrugged, not concerned. Of course, that's when all hell broke loose.

Due to the extra thrust on the boosters, Columbia still had too much speed going when she hit Max Q. Phoenix only realized this too late. "Ah shit." She cursed as Columbia half broke off the stack and half blew herself off, tumbling over backwards and heading head first for the ocean. "Fuck." Phoenix cursed again as she saw the splash. Challenger was looking at her with a murderous look in her eyes. Phoenix turned to South Dakota for support, and found none.

A quick trip to the Admiral's office saved her a pounding by Challenger only to receive a harsh grilling by the Admiral.

"You are confined to your quarters until further notice." Admiral Briggs said.

Phoenix only nodded, a small smile on her face as she began to walk away. The propellant worked fine, but she just needed a way to introduce a throttle down switch on the boosters. Then maybe...

"Your lab still counts as your quarters!" Admiral Briggs added. Phoenix couldn't sulk enough.

In the repair docks, Columbia could only groan at the final tally. 6 _weeks!_ She was going to kill Phoenix when she got out. "I'm gonna kill that cruiser." She moaned.

Medusa ruffled her hair. "Phoenix is getting a suitable punishment from the Admiral and your sister is handling the rest." She assured her.

Between Briggs and Challenger, yeah Columbia could be satisfied with that. She leaned back, relaxing.


	88. Rule 7979

7979\. Don't ask about Starfleet registry numbers. The last person to do it is now in an asylum.  
7979a. "NCC-1700. NCC-1701, NCC-1017!? Arrgh!" RNO *78678687689.

Spacefleet Orbital Headquarters

Chimera sighed as the screaming rating was carried to the shuttle on a stretcher. It was hard enough to find human personnel sane enough to deal with Kanmusu on the ground, but being in space added a whole new level of torture, one that meant they went through support personnel almost twice as fast as any other fleet.

"What happened?" asked Chimera to the other three in the airlock. USS Constitution(NCC-1700), USS Enterprise(NCC-1701), and USS Constellation(NCC-1017), glanced at each other nervously, all unwilling to be the first to bear their flagships' anger.

"I'm waiting." growled Chimera.

"Well, that's just the thing," Constitution said. "we don't know. He just asked us into his office, went on a tirade about our registry numbers, and when we told him about them, he stormed out and tried to bust open the window."

"That's it?" asked Chimera incredulously. " _Registry numbers_?"

"Yeah, apparently he couldn't understand how Starfleet went from four-digit registry numbers in our time to five-digit ones in a little over a century." added Enterprise.

"And he started crying when he talked about me and Franklin." finished Constellation.

"So, he went crazy over how a bunch of random numbers from old TV shows don't make numerical sense?"

"But they actually _do_." said Enterprise. "That's what really set him off."

"Huh?"

"Okay, you know how my registry is NCC-1700, and E's 1701, right?"

"Yes, because she's the next ship built after you. That makes sense."

"Good, so do you know how Franklin's an older ship then Enterprise(NX-01), yet she has a higher registry number, NX-326?"

"No, you've lost me." said Chimera.

"Ok, when the Federation was first founded, Starfleet inherited the fleets from it's founding members, with the exceptions being small system defense forces under planetary control. So, call it about 400-500 ships, alright?"

"Go on." said Chimera.

"Well, when you take ships from twelve different worlds, each with their own registry, organization became a nightmare. So, one of Starfleet Command's first directives was the establishment of a universal registry system."

"Because Enterprise(NX-01) was so instrumental in the founding of the Federation, she was symbolically the first ship placed on the registry, and as each ship was refitted for Starfleet, they took the next number in line." added Constellation.

"So, Franklin has a higher registry number than Enterprise because she was commissioned into the Federation Starfleet later?"

"Yes." said Enterprise. "Human ships needed longer refits than other ships because their technology level was lower than say the Vulcans or Andorians. Franklin ultimately was commissioned into the fleet about five years after Enterprise, and then she vanished on her shakedown cruise."

"Ok, but how does that explain adding another digit in less than a century?"

"Any warp-capable ship in Starfleet above a shuttle is classified as a starship, and thus requires a registry number, which includes runabouts, scout ships, couriers, automated cargo transports, tugs, heck, even garbage scows count." said Constitution.

"Not to mention if a ship is captured by Starfleet or if a merchant is conscripted during wartime also gets one." said Constellation. "So, during a war, it's common for Starfleet to surge by several hundred ships simply because we need freighters for auxiliaries. After the war, they're usually returned to the original owner, but their registry is permanent."

"By the time the first Federation designs in the fleet, the Bonaventure and Daedalus classes, entered service, there was about 700 in the fleet, thanks to a couple of short wars with the Klingons and some new races joining the Federation. The Walkers and Crossfields were the ones to get us over the millennia mark."

"So, Shenzhou is younger than Discovery?" asked Chimera. "Then why does Discovery call her old all the time?"

"That's more to do with her technology than anything else. The Walkers and Crossfields were designed to replace heritage ships and first-generation Starfleet designs, sorta like us and the Miranda's. Shenzhou may be younger than Discovery, but traditionally, the Walkers were some of the last ships to get important upgrades, whereas Discovery, being one of the largest ships in the fleet until Connie was built, got all the bells and whistles." said Constellation.

"And the Federation just built, conscripted, and captured enough ships to get over ten thousand in a century? I don't believe it."

"Says the one with 25000 sisters." Enterprise remarked dryly. "We _did_ fight several large wars, and as the Federation expanded, more colony ships were needed to start colonies, more couriers were needed to transport important messages and people between them, more construction ships were needed to build orbital infrastructure, more patrol ships were needed to defend said colonies, and finally, more starships were needed to explore strange new worlds and new life."

"How do you always manage to get that line in somewhere with every conversation?" asked Constitution.

"Okay, then I just have one last question." asked Chimera.

"Shoot."

"Why is your registry 1017?"

"Constellation blinked before she answered. "Well, about two weeks before I got eaten, I got caught in an ion storm. It overloaded some power conduits and messed up my paint, so I docked at Starbase 142 for repairs, during which I was moored next to USS Conestoga, who's registry _is_ NCC-1017."

"Huh?"

"My registry is 1711. The person in charge of painting was a midshipman fresh out of the Academy, and he mixed up our numbers. Decker was furious, but we got a priority mission to rescue an ambassador, so there wasn't enough time to correct it. I was on my way back to base when I got, well, eaten."

"That's what drove him crazy?"

"Apparently, he had some extremely complex theory to explain the numbers involving time travel, alcohol, and the dark god Cthulhu, and when we told him the system, he just kinda broke."

Chimera looked from the Kanmusu, to the airlock, and back to the Kanmusu again, and then left the room.

"Where are you going?" asked Constellation.

"First, to request a new rating. Then, to get a drink."


	89. Rule 8207

_Rule courtesy of AngryAmerican_

8207: Radio station regulations exist for a reason. 50,000 watt transmitters are acceptable if you get the permits, but no more. Pushing higher will probably be its own punishment.  
8207a: Plus the FCC will get involved, and all we need is another level of bureaucracy involved.

The beach was quiet except for crashing waves and the occasional seagull. Oklahoma and Duncan lay side by side on the sand, enjoying the quiet. The pair were dozing when Oklahoma sat up and looked around.

"Do you hear that?"

"Hear what?"

"It sounds like-" Then Oklahoma grabbed her head in pain as the sound became louder. Duncan realized that the sound was coming from her, faintly but clearly audible. The words became clear as Oklahoma slumped unconscious onto the sand.

"Turn it off! Turn it off!"

Then the voice stopped. A few moments later Oklahoma's eyes fluttered open to see a concerned Duncan kneeling beside her.

She sat up and rubbed her head, "What happened?"

"You said that there was a noise, then it got louder, then you passed out. After that, it stopped."

"That's never happened before." Oklahoma started to get up, assisted by Duncan when what sounded like every car alarm in the parking lot on the other side of the hotel went off.

"What the heck is it now?" She looked up past the hotel, to the large antenna standing above it. "That's new."

"Huh…" Duncan put one of Oklahoma's arms around her shoulder to support her as they headed up the beach. "That looks like a radio station antenna-" He stopped.

"What?"

"Back in oh, 1930 something. There was a radio station with a 500-kilowatt transmitter, it was in Ohio or somewhere close to it. The thing could be heard out in New York, and rumor has it that people could hear it in their bed springs if they were close enough to it."

"What sort of idiot would do something like that?"

Mobile pulled herself up on her desk and wiped the blood flowing from her nose away. The studio was in total disarray, with papers and sound equipment scattered across the floor. Illinois had found her way through the wall, leaving a large battleship-shaped hole. Randolph was busy puking her guts out in the corner. Mobile looked down at the schematic of the transmitter, and the shielding that was supposed to keep them safe from the effects of 750,000 watts of emitted energy.

It was a titanic undertaking, most of the components were made by their group to spec after all. All of it, from the collapsible antenna, the power hookups for almost a million watts of electricity, the shielding to keep them safe...

"Where did we go wrong?"

"Well figure it out before we try and turn it on again." Randolph staggered to her feet and started stumbling towards the door of the studio, "I need to wash my mouth out." Mobile returned to pouring over the plans as the carrier left the room.

Randolph, feeling better already, stopped as the locked door to their studio was battered aside. Two people walked in, the one in front clearly a shipgirl. Both of them looked pretty angry too.

"Who are you?"

"I'm Oklahoma, and this is my fiancé Duncan. Who are you and what did you do?"

"Hey, we have a broadcast license." The carrier averted her eyes, "Not for something as powerful as we actually built, but it was a good project to test. Are those car alarms?"

"Yes." Oklahoma grabbed Randolph and lead her to the door. The carrier paled as the sound of two resorts worth of car alarms filled the air.

"You haven't..."

"We called the police already, and they're on their way. And I'm going to keep any of you from trying to run away."

Randolph considered making a break for it, there was no way that either of them could hope to catch her, but her fingerprints were literally all over the building. She sighed in resignation as police sirens converged on the station. "Well, crap."

Admiral Lewis whistled as he looked inside the transmitter equipment. "Mighty fine setup they got."

"The FCC is calling, they say that they've gotten complaints from down in Mexico and from Halifax about this." His secretary ship, Las Vegas Victory, said.

"I'm not surprised. The biggest transmitter like this I've seen was up in Ohio, maxed out at 500 kilowatts. This bad boy peaked at 750 thousand watts." Lewis said admiringly. "With a little bit of work, they could probably boost it even higher..."

"Sir."

"Right, yeah." He turned to Las Vegas Victory, "Time to find out what they'll need to pay to the FCC for this stunt."

"And you need to decide what to do with Mobile, Randolph, and Illinois."

"I think that what happened to them was its own punishment, do you think they'll try it again?"

"No. I think that they won't."


	90. Rule 8394

8394\. Do we even want to know why Pearl Harbor's new drydock and the pier next to it look like a wedding reception?

Pearl Harbor, Hawaii.

There was something wrong with USS Fitzgerald, and Commander Daniel Harper had no clue what it was. Ever since the air raid on the last convoy, the old Fitz' had lost something. Her turbines were only meeting standards, despite a recent overhaul, and she seemed to reluctant to answer her helm, especially when she was pulled from station-keeping next to her division mate, JDS Chokai. He briefly wondered if his ship was depressed. A few years ago, such an idea would have been absurd, but with the arrival of the shipgirls, it wasn't totally implausible. Which was why he was in the admiral's office, hoping to pry a shipgirl away for tomorrow. If the rumors surrounding the incident with the USS Kitty Hawk were true, a shipgirl might just be the key to solving whatever problem his ship had.

 _The next day...  
_  
"Hello Fitzgerald." said Missouri gently. "Your captain's really worried about you, so he asked if I could come and have a chat with you. Is that alright?"

The signal lamp Missouri was talking to suddenly blinked out a **YES** in Morse code, followed by several sentences that passed by too quickly for Harper to translate.

"Whoa, slow down Fitz." said Missouri. The lamp blinked again, and Missouri turned to face Harper. "She wants to talk to you, sir."

Harper nodded, and walked up to face the lamp. "Hello, Fitz."

 _Hi, Captain.  
_  
'Fitzgerald, I want you to know that whatever it is that's troubling you, you can talk to me about it. Okay?"

 _Yes, sir.  
_  
"Good.' said Harper. "Now Fitz, what's wrong? Ever since we went through that last air raid, you haven't been yourself."

The lamp was silent for a few minutes before it flashed its response. _I was worried.  
_  
"Worried about who?" asked Harper. "The crew? Fitz, no one was hurt, We came through that attack without even getting a papercut."  
I  
 _Not worried about my crew. I'm worried about_ _ **HER.  
**_  
The lamp suddenly moved on its own, tracking across the harbor until it pointed at the drydock containing JDS Chokai.

"Ah," said Harper. "you're worried about your friend."

 _She's more than a friend, Captain._

While Harper stood there confused, Missouri walked back up to the lamp with a knowing smile. "How long has it been for you two?"

 _About two years now. We've been division mates since the war began, and somehow, it sorta just happened._

"May I ask how serious it is?"

 _I have Kongou's, Kirishima's, and Myoko's blessings. And I got Arleigh to do the engraving before she transferred back to the Atlantic Fleet.  
_  
"When were you planning on asking her?" asked Missouri.

 _I was using the convoy run to build up the courage, but now, I don't think I can do it.  
_  
"Why not?"

 _I've lost people I was close to before. I wasn't able to keep them safe, and now i just almost lost Chokai. What if it happens again?  
_  
"Take it from me, kid." said Missouri. "You can't be afraid to ask her. You'll just keep pushing it back further and further until one day when you'll be too late."

 _But, how? Chokai's going to be in drydock till the end of the week, and I leave with the next convoy in two days. It's not like I can ask her over the radio.  
_  
"No, you can't, Fitzgerald." said Harper. "But, the pier next to the drydock is available, and the dockmaster owes me a favor."

 _You'd do that for me, Captain?  
_  
"Of course, Fitzgerald. It would be an honor."

The next day...

JDS Chokai loved sunrises. She loved how the sun's bright pink and orange melded effortlessly with the ocean's blue, how they formed a portrait no artist or photograph could do justice to. So, while she hated being stuck in drydock, it did at least offer her a great view of the Hawaiian sunrise, which made her separation from the water, and Fitzgerald, slightly more bearable. Until her spirit awoke to find not the sunrise meeting her, but the shadow of another ship. Annoyed, she was about ask the newcomer what the big idea was when she noticed a very familiar 62 on her side.

 _Fitz?_

 _Surprise!_

 _How? I thought you were on the other side of the harbor._

 _The harbormaster owed my captain a favor, so he let me change places last night. And, I brought you something._

 _Oh, Fitz. You shouldn't have._

 _Actually, Chokai, this is something I should have done a long time ago. Do you remember back before we left Yokosuka, how I wasn't able to talk to you for a couple hours?_

 _Because you were resetting all of your radars? Yes, why?_

 _I wasn't resetting my radars. I was talking with your sisters. I needed their permission before I asked you this.  
_  
Suddenly, Fitzgerald's horns sounded, and about a dozen or so sailors pulled down a tarp on Fitzgerald's side that Chokai hadn't noticed before. The banner it covered came into view, and Chokai's generators stopped cold as she read what was written on it.

私と結婚しませんか (Would you like to marry me?)

Tense seconds passed by as Fitzgerald and her crew waited for Chokai's signal lamp to answer. Just as Fitzgerald began to worry, the silence of the morning was shattered by the sound of Chokai's foghorns as all of her port running light blinked a resounding _YES.  
_  
Immediately, one of the drydock's cranes lifted an object over to Chokai, where three of her crew secured it. It had been one of the wheels of an Humvee that had been destroyed by a science experiment back in Japan. After it landed on her deck, she'd managed to keep two wheels hidden while her crew removed the rest of the wreckage, and thanks to a combination of bribed destroyers and Arleigh's LWS, both were now polished and engraved with the couples' hull numbers.

 _Oh my God, Fitz._ The Morse lamp signaled. _I don't know what to say._

 _Then I guess the plan worked. Now we just have to pick a date.  
_  
Fitzgerald's fiance was silent for a few minutes, before her lamp replied. _How about tomorrow?_

 _Tomorrow? Why so soon?_

 _I'm going to be cooped up in the dock till the end of the week, and you leave on the return convoy Friday. Who knows how long it will be until our schedules realign. I'd rather marry you tomorrow and spend the next day with my wife all to myself than wait for weeks or months before another opportunity comes along.  
_  
This time, it was Fitzgerald's turn to be silent. After what seemed like an eternity, her lamp signaled Missouri and Commander Harper over.

 _Could we ask for one more favor?_

  
The next day, the crews of both ships bustled with purpose as they readied there ships for their big day. While some were still a little bit skeptic about the timing, most of the crew for both destroyers had realized a long time ago that their ships were alive, if not summoned. And since many Kanmusu in both services had either married or were engaged, a marriage between two conventional warships really didn't seem that far fetched by comparison.

Soon, everything was in order, and after the Fitzgerald's chaplain had said pronounced them married, welders secured the rings to their funnels while horns sounded from practically every warship in the harbor.

 _Well, the evil deed is done._ joked Fitzgerald.

 _Seriously, that's what you call marrying your beautiful wife?_ retorted Chokai playfully.

 _So, now what?_

 _Well, we have all of tomorrow before you leave, and while neither of us are able to do what I really want to do, I think we can come up with a substitute._

 _Oh, tell me more.  
_  
Missouri watched the two newlyweds talked to each other on the Morse for a little while before bowing out and heading to her quarters in the main base. Checking to make sure she was alone, she pulled a faded patch out of her hold. The words _Proud Heritage, Proud Purpose_ went through her mind for the thousanth time as she thought about the one who had claimed her heart back when she was steel, and still held on to it now.

 _One day,_ she thought.


	91. Rule 8496

8496\. The modern destroyers involved with stealing Fubuki's rigging so they update it with a flight deck as a mother's day gift we would like to speak with you.

8496a "I can carry planes now mom!" Happy Fubuki

In one of tje many classrooms on the Yousaka base, IJS Kongou, Hiei, Haruna and Kirishima aka the Kongou Cousins, where looking through some magazines. You see mother's day was upon them and they where looking for gifts for thair moms so far they had managed to get gifts for all their moms except 1, Fubuki the mother of all modern destroyers and needless to say the 4 destroyers where not having any luck in their endeavor.

"Argh this is so annoying Dessu!" Groned Kongou "How do you shop for someone that is your boss/godsister/ mother at the same time!"

"Calm down Kongu neechan." Haruna said " I mean we know her well enough to think of something why not a gun holster for her shot gun?"

"She does not need more then one Harunna!" Little Hiei said "Maybe a new Archery set?"

"No good Desu Akagi san just let her have her own to train last year." Kongou retorted as all 4 Destroyers sighed "We can't lose to those Fleachers this year!" Kirishima said.

At that moment a Fairy appered for Koungu's rigging as he then said "Desu Dessssssssu!" As he then looked at the 4 destroyers "Dessu Dessu dessu?"

"Oh hi skipper." Kongou responded "oh its nothing serious we just need a mother's day gift for Fubuki but we don't have any ideas."

Skipper looked up and then smirked and then said"Dess dessu dessu." While holding up some blue prints for the Destroyers as Kirishima scanned them and whistled as she said "We should get theses plans to Akashi sampai and Yumbri samapis now." As they got up and ran towards the smirked as he watched the destroyers a he then hopped onto Kongou's rigging quickly

Fubuki was seeing her mom off on a day trip with her sisters as she still had to remind Akagi about the rules when off base before giving her a hug good bye when JS Kongou then tackled her "Happy mothers day Fubuki!" She said happily as Fubuki looked over at Mini Kongou as she smiled and hugged her god sister before Kongou then grabbed her "Come on the JDSF destroyers and I have pitched in to get you your present." She said and lead Fubuki towards the shipyard.

When Fubuki arrived she then summoned her rigging and was surprised as a small flight deck appeared on her shoulder "Wha?" she said in surprised as the IJN destroyers and Helicopter destroyers shouted "SURPRISE happy mothers day Fubuki San!"

Fubuki looked over at Destroyers in surprised as JS Kaga walked over "The science Fleet managed to equip you with one of our flight decks and since they are almost as long as Mom's it could launch IJN planes Also." She then passed her an arrow quiver and said "We managed to make space in your rigging for some IJN planes." Fubuki beamed in delight at her new rigging as she said "Thank you so much!" she squealed as she hugged the modern destroyers as JS Kongou smirked and left with her fairy in tow "Its all thanks to you Skipper."

Skipper just smiled and watched the Happy destroy cuddle pile.


	92. Rule 8078

**8078\. If you value your life DON'T mention to Akagi that she has a triple layered flight deck. The reaction causes all of the Carriers of the 1st, 2nd and 5th division to hide in their bunk.**

 **8078a. Ok if you see Akagi gets trigger this way DON'T get Enterprise to stop her. Both Carriers will be in the docks for a while and we need some help repairing Yousaka base... again**

Enterprise was at yousaka base when she felt a familiar chill down her spine. She would then notice a flock of Vals drooping bombs on everything as she sighed noticing the red strip on the tail she knew who it was. "Gees did someone call Akagi a bad mom again?" She thought as she made her way towards the docks she spotted the other Carrier divisions barricading themselves in their dorms. "Ok what triggered the Glutton." Enterprise asked "I have not seen you guys this panicked ever since my first arrival at the base."

"Well it started with Sammy B she wanted to get a triple layer Chocolate bar for Tengei san Goya retorted that they did not want her to have a triple layer flight deck then Akagi overheard and now we are hiding." Kaga retorted "You should too."

Enterprise scoffed at the idea after all she was the one who sunk this carrier she could do it again if she had too as she made her way to the docks rigging on.

She would spy her target lamenting on her weight "I am defiantly more shapely then Enterprise with all that baby fat." Akagi shouted. This triggered E as she was thinking how to sink her quickly.

"HEY triple layer!" She called out as the near Abyssal like Akagi glared at her "How long do you think you will last aginst me this time I am thinking 4 minutes."

Akagi roared "You this is not a surprise attack so I can take you fair and square! This will be easy."

"Oh suffer an induce exploitation and shut up." E restored loading her Dauntlesses.

Akagi seemed triggered even more as the two carriers clashed

"Enterprise prepare to become a real Ghost!"

"Die Fatty."

ReAdm Fubuki sighed as she was looking over the wreckage and sighed the Harbour was completely wreaked and some poor shipgirls where caught in the crossfire of this legendary rematch between Akagi and Enterprise. "Status report on the damage." She said to one of the petrol boats that looked a lot like her mom

"As Kaga puts it they wished they did this much damage to Pearl Harbor during the war. The repair docks are wreaked and the destroyers are low on AA ammo trying to atop the bombers the baths are fine but the dorms suffered some damage. Not to mention the numerous costies and the Amagi sisters that where damaged in the attempt to breakup the combatants." The petrol boat Akagi said "Also Enterprise took a plane to her launch deck and Akagi had another induce exploitation. They will be out of the docks in a few days."

Fubuki sighed "Ok let Enterprise and Mom know that the repair cost for their little stunt is coming out of their food bill, contact Yamato and tell here what happen and get the carriers out of their dorm. I need a drink and I need to schedule another therapy session to deal with this trigger.." as the petrol ship then ran off as Fubuki looked up to the sky.

"Man dad you made being an Admrial look easy."


	93. Rule 8499

_8499\. Kiyoshimo has finally been transferred to Corregidor Naval Base. God Help Us Now.  
8499A. "Kiyoshimo are you ready to become a Space Battleship?" - Cmdr Knight welcoming Kiyoshimo with open arms  
8499B. "Kiyoshimo YES!"

8500\. Please Welcome Battleship Kiyoshimo!

_

 _8500A. "What have you done?" -Adm Goto upon seeing BByoshimo  
8500B "We turned Dreams into Reality!" - Cmdr Knight with a Smug Smile_

Yokosuka Naval Base.

It was a cheery day, bright cloudless sky, gentle ocean breeze, and an almost serene atmosphere. A perfect time to have some tea and blueberry muffins.

That is where we find our ever lovable Admiral Goto at, sitting in his office drinking the best Black Tea Kongou could brew with a delightful freshly baked Blueberry Muffin to go along with it.

It was at this time that things tend to go out the window or on this case bust through the door.

"ADMIRAL WE HAVE A PROBLEM!" Ooyodo out right screamed as she came barreling in. Goto was about to asked what kind of problem but the paper shove in his face answered it for him.

It was a Transfer Notice.

An Approve Transfer Notice.

An Approve Transfer Notice for Kiyoshimo.

An Approve Transfer Notice for Kiyoshimo to Corregidor Naval Base.

An Approve Transfer Notice for Kiyoshimo to Corregidor Naval Base signed by the highest authority within the worlds Navy.

United Nation Naval Command.

Goto only had three words for it.

"Get Me Knight."

-0-

Corregidor Naval Base

I sighed as I reclined into my chair, lazily watching all the floating pens signing and approving all the requisition forms for the day. God I love having the Reality stone. Makes life easier than it had any right to be. Then again it isnt all powerful seeing I cant be in two places at once or reverse time. Can't get everything in life.

Just as I was about to take a small nap, someone knock on my door and opened it. It was USS Philippine Sea.

That can't be good.

"Admiral Goto is on the line needing to talk to you immediately. Something about Transfers."

Transfers? I didnt request any nor did I receive any notifications about this. Then again I hardly look at the paperwork anymore. There's a certain limit where its just makes you vomit.

"Patch him through." With a nod the screen display of my tablet blared to life showing an all to familiar face of Yokosuka's commander.

"Goto" I nodded in greeting.

"What the meaning of this?" He snarled shoving a piece of paper on the screen.

"Those are Transfer Orders" I deadpanned. "And from the looks of it, it's for Kiyoshimo to be transferred here."

"And What kind of Abuse of Authority did you do to get someone from the UNNC to sign and approve this?"

"I went to the proper channels and honest to goodness filed the proper paperwork?" I quirk my brow. Seriously its not really that hard to request personnel transfer. It just takes time. "Look, I honestly thought it was rejected after you vehemently denied Kiyoshimo's appeal."

I saw him growl before drawing a deep breath. "Just... Just take care of her."

"You sound like your her dad."

"I see all of them as my children nowadays"

"Shouldn't you just do the deed already?" I asked in exasperation seriously one of the few straight couple and too scared to bare children. "And don't give me that 'we are at War' bullshit cause I know for a fact a lot of your girls do have children running around the base. Heck I have half a mind to just go there and lock you and Kongou in a room until the test spews out a positive." Either that or sabotage the Contraceptives they order on a monthly basis. This could help Yonehara finally owing up himself as well. "Anyway enough about your bed time romances aside. I'll take care of her don't you worry."

"That's what I'm more worried about."

"Relax. Anyway what the ETA on Kiyoshimo?"

"Apparently when she heard the news she bolted out the door no two seconds later and is heading your as we speak along with Akigumo and Makigumo. Yuugumo and the rest of her sisters are following her with her effects. So, give or take by the end of the day."

"I can house them overnight. Heck I can give them a few days stay just to actually do a proper goodbye."

"That would be grateful. Just don't spoil her or encourage her."

"Yeah... about that..."

"Knight..."

"Look at that! I need to sign more papers! Nice talking to you Goto!"

I decidedly cut the video short before the speakers gave up. Pretty sure I can hear his scream across the ocean if I focus enough.

"Now... Where was that Old Nagato rigging we had..."


	94. Rule 8517

8517\. The Falklands Task Force Veterans are hereby allowed and encouraged to visit said islands and play their respects to the casualties and survivors. Also, the pending lawsuit by the Argentine government is no longer pending.

Portsmouth

Admiral Graham rubbed his temples as he waited for his next vistor, sighing internally as a bit of grey hair stuck to his hand.

"Blimey, I'm getting too old for this." he said to himself.

The door opened to reveal the King George V and Simon Piedmont, the current Foreign Minister of the United Kingdom.

"Ah, Simon. I take it your visit has something to do with the Task Force?" said Graham's as KGV closed the door.

"Unfortunately, Admiral." sighed the minister. 'I'm afraid that the Argentine ambassador is currently waiting outside your door. He seems rather impatient so I'll only occupy you for a minute."

"I assume the PM has made a decision regarding Plymouth and her organization?"

"Yes, she has." said Prescott. "As far as His Majesty's government is concerned, HMS Plymouth and her compatriots are British citizens, and as the Falklands are British territory, we have no right nor desire to interfere with their right of free travel."

"But?"

"As they are Navy personnel on active duty, you as their commanding officer ultimately have to approve their leave. Whether or not you allow them to leave is up to you, but I have a good feeling I know what you're going to say to them James."

"You're damned right on that one." said Graham.

"Haven't changed a bit, old man." laughed Prescott. "Go easy on the ambassador."

"I'll try."

Prescott left the office, and immediately a man in his late thirties took his place.

"Admiral Graham?" he asked with only a trace of an accent.

"Ambassador Gutierrez, I presume?"

"Yes, Admiral. I think we both know why I'm here."

"Your government's protest about less than a dozen or so people going to honor those who died in the Falklands War? Or is this about the articles in Buenos Aires calling them ship-sluts and demons? Because if it's about the latter, I am more than ready to accept an apology."

"The government of Argentina does not prevent people from speaking their minds, admiral. As for the former, yes, I am here to officially protest your government's, and by extension, your own reckless handling of the personnel under your command. We feel that if this group was to visit the Malvinas, it will make the already fragile dispute over their sovereignty even worse."

"Last I checked, there is no dispute over the islands." retorted James.

"The sovereignty of the Malvinas has been in dispute for decades!" raged the ambassador.

"Plenty of veteran groups have visited the islands before. No one in your government ever protested them."

"Because none of them had superhuman strength or abilities." replied the ambassador. "Not to mention none of them carried out war crimes against sailors of the Argentine Navy."

"If you are referring to Conqueror's presence in this group, may I point out the fact that she engaged the Belgrano on orders sent by the Admiralty, and everybody, including the Argentine Navy, regards it as an legitimate attack." bristled Graham. "Furthermore, their abilities notwithstanding, they are all British citizens, and they have every right to visit British territory."

"In that case, I will inform my government of your decision, and that will should pursue another option to prevent them from going. Our foreign office is already prepared to file suit with yours, and the U.N." said the Ambassador. "I should have expected it, really. Neither you, nor your personnel have any idea what the war in 1982 cost for far too many."

"I would reconsider that, Ambassador. Those girls might have been steel back in 1982, but they were all alive. They fought just as hard for the islands as any other soldier or sailor. And several of them never made it home. As for me, in 1982, I was a signals officer on HMS Invincible." said Graham. The ambassador's eyes widened, but Graham continued. "My younger brother was on Illustrious, and my oldest, well, he died on Coventry."

He stood up, and continued. "I fully intend to allow those sailors to visit the Falklands, and if your government takes action against them for trying to honor their dead, than I may decide that it is time to redeploy our forces in the South Atlantic."

"What do you mean?" asked the ambassador.

Graham simply shrugged. "Currently, we have one carrier, four battleships, thirteen cruisers, and around thirty-odd destroyers currently tasked with assisting the Argentine fleet defend your country's coastline. If your government is determined to go through with this absurdity, than I feel it is time to reduce that number."

"You're bluffing." said the ambassador.

"Whether or not I'm bluffing is not the question you should be asking." said Graham. "It's whether or not your government can afford to risk that I'm not."

As the ambassador stood there, Graham went to his door and opened it. "Thank you for the visit, Ambassador. I'm sorry I have to cut things short, but I have some leaves to approve."


	95. Rule 8518

8518: As much as we agree with this type of game tournament that the Marine Fairies suggest, you shipgirls don't have any ground combat capability, especially commanding on the **ground**.  
8518a: Amphibious command ship and some amphibious assault ship aside. The answer is still no.

Mortars whistled in the air before detonating on the sand in front of a US Marine. But unlike any US Marine, this Marine is unusual to it's counterpart, cause unlike it's counterpart, he is armed with a M16A4 Rifle while his counterpart is armed with a M1 Garand, the two Marines are in a foxhole because their RTO accidentally ordered a Mortar strike danger close and now the Modern Marine is stuck with his WWII counterpart with mortar shells dropping all around them.

"HEY HEY HEY!" (HOW COULD THIS HAVE HAPPENED!) The Modern Marine asked his WWII counterpart.  
"HEY HEY HEY!" (HOW THE HELL SHOULD I KNOW) The WWII Marine replied.

Then suddenly another Modern US Marine armed with a FN M240B jumped in to the foxhole followed closely by a WWII Marine with a BAR carrying a bag full of 240 ammo. The 240 Gunner quickly open fire at unseen targets while the BAR Gunner dropped the bag.

"Hey hey hey!" (What's going on!) The WWII Marine asked his fellow WWII Marine.  
"Hey hey hey! Hey hey hey hey!" (We're restarting the offensive! We're suppose to provide covering fire!) The BAR Gunner replied before giving the 240 Gunner a new box of 7.62.

Well that on the ground, but in reality...

Shipgirls from Japan, Britain and the United States are currently watching their Fairy Marines battle each other, on the sandy beaches of Camp Pendleton, currently it is the US Marines vs British Royal Marines and the Japanese Naval Infantry. Currently the US Marines are winning because for some reason the Japanese Naval Infantry keep going on Banzai Charges when they ran out of ammo.

"I know the Japanese was bad during the war but this, is just embarrassing." USS Iwo Jima commented to USS Chilton next to her.  
"I know, but I think I know why." Chilton replied with a deadpanned look while pointing at the British Japanese stand.

Shinshū Maru and RMS Queen Mary could be seen covering their faces with their hands as for some reason, Aso is next to her arguing with HMS Ocean.

"Great, who invited Aso?" Iwo Jima snarked before suddenly two Coast Guard Cutters appeared and dragged Aso away while a sheepish Akitsu Maru is seen at the exit to the stand.

"Well that was unexpected." Iwo Jima told Chilton who could only nod in surprise.


	96. Rule 8919

_8919\. Yes, Titanic has finally seen the 1997 movie. Those who handle outgoing mail are advised to check who she's mailing letters to...she wasn't happy with some of the characters in that film.  
8919a. "While we appreciate your celebrity status, sending a letter to Billy Zane telling him you would've tossed Cal Hockley overboard - over the stern so that he got sucked into the propellers - without regret is not projecting a positive image." - Admiral Collingwood  
8919b. "Don't care...he's slime. I rate Ismay higher than him." - Titanic  
8919c. "...Now, that's just ___cold__ _." - Admiral Collingwood_

 _8919d. "No, for the love of all that is sane, I am not still carrying that infernal Renault in my cargo hold!_ _Also, I still maintain that there was room enough on that board._ _" -male!Titanic, a.k.a. USS Langley's husband_

 _8968\. Show Titanic_ _ _The Legend of the Titanic__ _and_ _ _Tentacolino__ _at your own risk. But fair warning: her reaction probably won't be pretty._ _8968a: Welp. It would appear_ _ _both__ _Titanics have gone on the warpath thanks to those movies. Somebody stop them before they file charges against the Italian animation studios in question - their ferociously biting reviews of those films and the 1997 one are already circulating on the media like blood through veins and arteries!_

 _8968b: "This is slander, and defamation, and historical revisionism, and a joke in absolutely hideous taste!" - Titanic x2 combo_

 _Southampton, England_

That there were two shipfolk representing the same ship was an unusual case, but not unheard of - there were after all two Yuubaris, two alternate Asos, and that wasn't even getting started on the Fleet of Fog ladies - and one couldn't help but wonder how the dimensional havoc had started in the first place. By this point he had gotten well used to there being an alternate of him (and they did correspond from time to time when schedule permitted), though he had to wonder what had gotten her so worked up that she had to tell him about it in person. He'd had to be immensely discreet as he made the drive to this city, so loaded with bittersweet memories, and even then he didn't dare let his guard down until he was well within the perimeter of the base. His pace was cautious, steady, not wanting to draw too much attention to himself as he took the route to her quarters, knocking to await her permission before he would walk in to meet with her.

She was a strikingly beautiful figure for sure, exactly as tall as he himself was, graceful and well-dressed in an outfit that reflected the paint job of their original hull, and he would greet her with a tip of his hat as he shut the door behind him. "Madame," he began, just a bit of a smile on his face as he hoped privately to ease some of whatever was bothering his counterpart. "I got your letter, longhand and everything. What's gotten you on the warpath?" Wordlessly, she strode over to one shelf to pick something out, before flashing the DVD case for a certain _extremely_ well-known blockbuster from 1997. In that one instant, it all clicked for him, and he had to adjust his tie a little as he gulped, blanching just a smidgen at the realization. "Ah. Yeah, that. How was your first viewing?"

"Honestly?" Madame Titanic let out a long sigh, shaking her head as she set the case back where she had found it before turning to her gentlemanly alt. "I don't know whether I should be honoured they lavished so much loving detail into basically bringing me to life again on the silver screen, or if I should be infuriated at the things they _did_ screw up on. _Especially_ in passing over so many true to life stories in favour of a fictional romance!" There was a moment of silence, before she took a closer look at her companion. "Now that I think about it though, I'm starting to wonder whether the film's the reason you look like... that," she mused, earning a very flustered laugh from a blushing gentleman. "Your guess is as good as mine," he admitted, donning his captain's cap once more as if to hide the resemblance to some extent. "If I had a nickel for every time someone mistook who I was... And I don't even _sound_ like him, geez!"

"Well I can hardly hold you accountable for the way you look," she conceded, though there was still a storminess in her eyes that indicated she was still very much displeased at what she had just witnessed a couple of days prior. "But I have more than half a mind to make my displeasure known to everyone involved in that... that _travesty_ of a production." To say that was troubling was an understatement - her breaking her usual gag rule against speaking to the mainstream media was rare enough and usually meant serious business was afoot. Her alt nodded solemnly at that, before clearing his throat to voice his thoughts on the matter. "Well. Now that the cat's out of the bag, and while there are worse films about us out there I refuse to speak of, what say you and I make the most of it and tear Mr. Cameron a metaphorical new one?"

The look that she gave him in reply was one of mutual understanding, and in that moment, a conspiracy to rival the notorious 'switch theory' was born. "Show me the 'others', and _then_ we can tear them **all** new ones."

The article came out within the week, and soon began catching attention from several quarters due to the fact that Mme. Titanic had broken her self-imposed 'don't talk to the press' rule, and for good reason. The article, co-written by both Titanics, was an open letter to filmmakers of all stripes, tearing into various movies centered around the sinking with barely-restrained ferocity. The reviews had started civilly enough, bluntly critical when covering the 1997 film, but it soon gave way to vehement objections to the 1943 Nazi film, and then outright invective against the two animated Italian clusterfucks. Mercifully, there was no mention of the one with the rapping dog - likely because neither of them had seen it (pray they never did). Suffice to say the media and the blogosphere quickly latched on to it, reactions and analyses and even rebuttals being penned in response to it, and even the old Twitter war over whether there was room on that board or not, started in response to a past comment, had flared up again. (The other Titanic had gone on record yet again, objecting to repeated pestering about the car scene - "No, for the love of all that is sane, I am _not_ still carrying that infernal Renault in my cargo hold! Also, I still maintain that there was room enough on that board.")

But Mme. Titanic wasn't done yet. Not by a long shot.

 _Scapa Flow, a week succeeding  
_  
Admiral Collingwood sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose as he looked over the mutinous-looking shipgirl in front of him. The good madame's letters, intended to be mailed by her male counterpart, had been intercepted to check there was nothing of military importance that needed redacting, and what was found instead were several stationery pages of heated remarks and sharp language, each one addressed to a different person. And they all had one thing in common. "First the Great Titanic Film Roast, and now letters to the people involved?" Collingwood asked, laying the sheaf of White Star Line stationery on the table. "While we appreciate your celebrity status, sending a letter to Billy Zane telling him you would've tossed Cal Hockley overboard - over the stern so that he got sucked into the propellers - without regret is not projecting a positive image. Is it even necessary?"

"Don't care...he's slime." Her reply was blunt, a verbal bludgeon that soon segued into numerous cutting remarks concerning Mr Hockley's character. "He's got no redeeming qualities whatsoever, cares more for his wealth than for his fiancee, and is a generally two-dimensional and awful villain - and I mean awful as in absolutely irredeemable _and_ poorly-written. I rate _Ismay_ higher than him - Ismay! At least even if he was mischaracterized in that film he has a _little_ more depth than that mustacheless mustache-twirling cardboard cutout!" Collingwood was taken aback - that she was on the warpath on the subject matter was enough of a tell for him regarding just how much it pissed her off, and after some moments of silence his only reply was "...Now that's just _cold_." At that moment, the other Titanic walked into Admiral Collingwood's office, stopping to salute. "You sent for me Admiral?- oh. Oh no. Awww crud."

"'Aw crud' sounds about right. What were you thinking, both of you?" Collingwood demanded, getting up from his chair and looking from one to the other. "Well for starters, our honour needed defending, and history needed clearing up," Mme. Titanic began, her expression still carrying a stubborn fire in her eyes. "These people perpetuated irritating misconceptions about us, our crew, our passengers, or sidelined the real stories in favour of fictional romances or hidden agendas!" "Fifteen hundred souls, Admiral! Fifteen hundred souls are owed that much, why should we not speak on their behalf? To say nothing of those- those _atrocious_ excuses for animated films," the other Titanic added. "We ought to pay Italy a visit and slap those animation studios with lawsuits! It's slander-"

"...defamation-"

"...historical revisionism-"

"-and a joke in absolutely hideous taste!"

"Enough! Both of you, _please_." Admiral Collingwood straightened up to his full height as he raised his voice, striding over to the window to have a look outside before turning to face them once more. "Considering the ruckus your article's been making in entertainment circles these last few days I think you've more than made your point. There's no use flogging the dead horse long after it's been reduced to bones now is there? Besides, after you two published that little piece I highly doubt any filmmaker worth his salt would ever dare attempt another Titanic film with you two sitting in judgment over them." Silence, a silence more mollified/mortified than mutinous. Collingwood took the opportunity to go on. "Right. I'm burning these, so you don't get any funny ideas about sending them. Madame, with all due respect, do leave these people alone alright? The cast hardly had any ill intent to defame your memory or that of the passengers when the movie was made, and if anything it's only done more to hammer your reputation into public consciousness. As for you sir..." The admiral would turn to the other Titanic, folding his arms over his chest.

"What am I going to do with you?"


	97. Rule 8919 Follow Up

**An Open Letter to All Self-Proclaimed Filmmakers, Concerning Depictions of the Night of April 14-15, 1912**

It has come to our attention that there exist numerous films centered around the infamous sinking of the RMS Titanic, much to our combined chagrin. Some of these movies, like A Night To Remember, are noteworthy and deserving of praise, while others, like SOS Titanic, leave much to be desired. Our intention therefore being to comment upon these productions, we have taken it upon ourselves to pen this open letter as frank and unvarnished assessment of four such films which we have recently viewed.

Part the First: Titanic (1997)

James Cameron's wildly popular and much-maligned blockbuster may be a technical achievement - the soundtrack is and the recreation of our original hull and interiors masterfully brings us back to life on the silver screen for all those who never lived to set foot on board - but we feel compelled to register our complaints against numerous inaccuracies and artistic liberties that detract from the general excellence of the rest of the film.

Firstly, the subplot concerning the search for the Heart of the Ocean could easily have been done away with. Are there not numerous real life artifacts salvaged from our wreck that could have served this role - Adolphe Saalfeld's perfume vials, Wally Hartley's violin, John Jacob Astor's pocket watch, among others? Could not the 1912 Renault, or the Rubaiyat of Omar Khayyam, have made better things to treasure hunt for than a fictional blue diamond? Never mind the fact that it was never explained how small ROVs could lift a heavy safe out of one of our staterooms... And Rose just tosses the priceless necklace overboard, never mind the fact that she could have given it to her granddaughter for an heirloom and inheritance. Speaking of Rose…

The entire existence of the fictional characters gives us great reason to protest with vehemence. Two thousand and two hundred souls made their way on the maiden voyage, and Mr. Cameron could choose none of them as the leads in his story, instead having to cut his main cast out of whole metaphorical cloth? For chrisakes, A Night To Remember (1958) outstrips this film far and wide in this regard in its focus on Charles Lightoller's perspective - and if Cameron was afraid of the backlash that ended up hounding him with respect to Will Murdoch, let it be known that Lightoller's family made no such waves concerning the older movie.

The depictions of the true to life characters and operation of the ship leave much to be desired. Passengers were not allowed onto the forward well deck, so no King of the World shot for you Mr Dawson. The engines were stopped, not reversed, during the collision. Thomas Andrews was roused to action some time after his sighting in the smoking room and was last seen on deck throwing chairs into the water, for crying out loud! The man went down trying to save others, not in catatonic contemplation! Third class passengers were not deliberately locked behind grille gates, how dare this accusation be made! Charles Joughin was nowhere near that drunk! And do not get us started on your treatment of William Murdoch, Mr Cameron!

We will forgive the inaccuracies of the final breakup and turn our attention to the most controversial aspect of the fictional romance: the idea that there was room on that board for Jack. One of us has insistently maintained this to be true, and can back up his assertions with the Mythbusters episode concerning the matter, and while his death was narratively necessary it has to be said that there were less contrived ways of killing Jack off than him not getting onto a board that would have fit him and Rose.

Lastly, why is it Jack who Rose reunites with in the afterlife and not her husband of who knows how many years? The man's been with her all her life, for all we know, and ends up playing second fiddle to a man she knew for all of a few days? While we do subscribe to the view that after death neque nubent, we still find that Mrs Calvert's nameless husband got short shrift in being essentially passed over as a mere rebound. Our final verdict: this entire film could have been written better, but otherwise is a technical masterpiece.

Part the Second: Titanic (1943)

Where the 1997 film was a work of art impaired by questionable writing choices and artistic licenses, the 1943 film is plain and simple an unadulterated piece of Nazi anti-British propaganda. That alone should be enough for us to raise objections to its very existence, but in the interest of thoroughly dismembering its long-dead carcass we are compelled to point out major sticking points that get on our nerves after viewing the horrendous piece of work.

Where do we even begin with this shoddily written tragedy of errors? The fact that the White Star Line did not offer stock, meaning that the film's premise of stock manipulation is dead in the water? Or the idea that Bruce Ismay wanted us to capture the Blue Riband, pushing us at 26.5 knots when in truth our top speed of 24 knots was slower than Cunard's greyhounds' usual pace? Whoever wrote this screenplay quite eminently did not do their research, or more bluntly in our view decided not to let the truth get in the way of raw propaganda.

Second Officer Will Murdoch gets short shrift in this film again: they don't even bother to get his name or rank right, calling him Chief Officer Morlok and portraying him quite crudely, in contrast to the obviously heroic German protagonist, 1st Officer Petersen. Here we go again with unnecessary fictional protagonists, and a Gary Stu to boot! Chief Officer Wilde is written out entirely with Murdoch a.k.a. Morlok in his position, and the heavyhanded screenwriter shows his poor chops once again by portraying all the crew except Petersen in the worst light possible. Captain Smith, taking bribes from Ismay? Utter tripe and hogwash, and quoth we the apocryphal lines, "we are not amused"!

Propagandistic and fictional elements aside, the film is more heavily laced with historical inaccuracies than a bishop's rochet. Firstly, the Cap Arcona (may she rest in peace) hardly had the right profile to play our part, with a different kind of stern and more visible vents. While Liverpool was engraved on our stern, we sailed from Southampton instead due to the deeper waters of the harbour there. The dining saloon did not extend over two decks - in fact the interiors have been gotten all wrong! The Astors were nothing like what we see in that movie! Would it have killed the filmmakers to get their nationality right even? We could go on and on but in the interest of decreasing our blood pressure we will desist at this point.

Part the Third: The Legend of the Titanic

Italy, oh Italy, why must you defame our memory with such a horrible animated retelling of what happened on that night? Viewing this travesty of a work roused the ire of all 1500 souls who perished, and honestly an argument can be made that the film studio owes them compensation for defamation in claiming that nobody actually died during the sinking! For making us put up with a thousand and a half angry ghosts screaming for restitution, something we would not even wish on our worst enemies, we lay our grievances out in the open to let it be known how displeased we and our dead are.

The 'legend' of the Titanic? What happened to us was hardly legendary or fictional! With all the information and documentation on the incident, how could anybody ever imagine that the 1912 incident qualifies as a 'legend'? Are you trying to say it never really happened? Oh wait, it would appear that the whole incident as reported in the papers and the inquiries was a, and we quote, 'misunderstanding'! Who would have thought! What temerity and audacity, to claim that this is what really happened! It's on par with all manner of ludicrous and sordid conspiracy theories, except this one trends more towards sickeningly sweet glurge instead of sinister shadowy dealings!

Now how exactly is this a misunderstanding? It is our understanding that the premise of the film is as follows: that we were sunk by an iceberg thrown by an octopus tricked by a gang of ex-convict sharks who were in cahoots with a whaler who wanted to gain worldwide whaling rights by marrying the daughter of a rich duke, who instead falls in love with a classy gypsy (on behalf of all Romani, we apologize for having to use this word) named Don Juan. And apparently everybody can talk to animals! Forget the inaccuracies in depicting the layout of our interiors and even the exteriors, they pale in comparison to this egregious stain on animation history!

It's clear as day that this is a cheap ripoff of the James Cameron film, right down to being able to pinpoint who among the protagonists and antagonists stand in for Jack, Rose, Cal, and Ruth, but the repeated overuse of an instrumental leitmotif possibly meant to ape My Heart Will Go On (or Southampton) only adds the half-rotten cherry on this steaming pile of excrement. It's an affront, an insult of the highest order to everybody who perished that night, to their families, and to us as well, and we will not stand for it!

Part the Fourth: In Search of the Titanic / Tentacolino

The fact that a sequel to the aforementioned affront exists is like rubbing salt into a wound for us, and is seriously making us consider personally signing off on all future proposals for films centered on the sinking to clamp down on errors creeping into the telling. At least it would, if it weren't for the fact that the Abyssal War is still ongoing. Nevertheless, to close out this open letter we press on to the bitter end, laying out our objections to this film even if it barely even counts as a Titanic movie.

Honestly, if this movie had been based on Robert Ballard's expeditions it would have made for a much better and more gripping tale, but then that would have to be live action and apparently would have been too much effort. Instead watching this is a visual assault that only furthers the nonsensical premises of the previous film and in some cases even contradicts previously-established plot points! In the first movie, the story is told from the point of view of an elderly mouse who survived the sinking when he was younger, but in the sequel it is found out that three years after the sinking, he ended up stranded on a secret island unable to return to civilization due to having imbibed the elixir of life! Consistency, have they heard of it?

The plot goes hither and thither, the protagonists make no sense in their reactions to anything (looking at you Don Juan!), and what starts off as a search for our wreck soon gets sidetracked into an apparently drug-fueled fantasy romp through Atlantis! We have serious difficulty believing this film was made by people who weren't ten sheets to the wind or under the influence of the hard stuff because of how little sense anything makes in this one! Not to mention the godawful excuses for antagonists from the first film making their comeback in this film, or the horrendous ear-grating soundtrack from hell!

In Conclusion

We will keep this brief, for the sake of not blowing a metaphorical or literal gasket thanks to how utterly incensed our brief dive into the genre of Titanic films has made us. For our sake, for the sake of the dead, and their families, for history's sake, do your goddamn research!

Signed,

 _RMS Titanic and RMS Titanic_


	98. Rule 8392

8392\. The Cooperative Attack/Defense Logic Mode, or CADLM software is designed to increase AEGIS effectiveness against Abyssals. It is _not_ going to turn on us like Skynet. People, you've watched Terminator too many times.

 _The Pacific Ocean, approximately 50-60 miles SW of Hawaii Defense Perimeter. Convoy PSJ-24L2_

  
"We are screwed."

'That's it, Indy." groaned Midway. "You're a true beacon of optimism."

"Our AWACs show only two bomber squadrons. We already have the CAP on the escort, and the DDGs are about to open up on the bombers. And even if any of them break through, Forrestal's fighters are orbiting us at the five mile range, and a finally, a flight of Air Force F-22s are ten minutes away. Short of a nuclear bomb going off, we are fine." said Renaissance.

"It's not the Abyssals I'm worried about." said Independence, pointing at one of the DDGs in the convoy. "It's the floating Skynet's next to us that I'm afraid of it."

"Skynet?" asked Renaissance. "What's that?"

Midway sighed. "It's an old sci-fi movie where a U.S AI program becomes self-aware and triggers a nuclear holocaust. And apparently since those DDGs have those new smart missile control systems, they're automatically going to go rogue and kill us all."

"Seriously?!"

"Of course I'm serous!" shouted Independence. "You make weapons smarter, and suddenly they decide that the smart thing to do is stage a rebellion, and boom! Instant apocalypse!"

Her two squadmates just looked at her as if she had grown a second head.

"That's not how it works you idiot!"

"CADLM isn't an AI, Indy." groaned Midway. "AEGIS tracks and evaluates threats by itself. All the CADLM does is form a link between the separate AEGIS systems so they can target the Abyssals more effectively. All of our ships here have VLS tubes, which you can't reload while at sea. So, if several of our DDGs all fire at the same targets, then a whole lot of missiles get wasted. With the CADLM, that's not a problem, if it works."

"30 mile marker!" called out Forrestal, focusing everyone's attention back to the incoming planes.

"Guess we're about to find out." said Renaissance.

 _Combat Information Center, ROKS Sejong the Great_

  
"Confirm successful Handshake." called out the DDG's weapons officer.

"Handshake successful with Benfold."

"Successful handshake with Chokai."

"Systems linked with Hobart."

"All ships linked in." said the weapons officer.

"Weapons Officer, you may fire when ready." replied the Sejong's Captain.

The weapons officer took once last glance at the AEGIS display, and as soon as the Abyssal planes breached the 30 mile marker, he pressed the fire control command. The Sejong vibrated as two missiles left her forward VLS cell. Two hundred yards astern of her, HMAS Hobart's silhouette was illuminated as another Standard leapt out of its tube to join its brothers. Behind her, USS Benfold added two of her own Standards to the party. Finally, at the end of the convoy, the last two escorting destroyers, JDS Chokai and USS Fitzgerald, waited for the last transport to clear out of the line of fire before the Chokai added two more missiles, rapidly catching up to the others. Fitzgerald, being the only DDG to not have the CADLM equipped, held her fire, waiting for the Abyssals to reach the 20 mile limit before engaging, lest she waste her weaponry on already doomed targets.

The Arado's saw the missiles coming, but at the rate of closure, time only allowed for last-second erratic maneuvers, none of which had good odds at succeeding. And for six out of those seven bombers targeted by the first salvo, the odds were simply too great to overcome. Sejong, Hobart, and Benfold all got clean sweeps from their first launch, and as for Chokai's birds, coming in later, one of the Arado's hit its flaps had, cutting in behind the bomber trailing it, using it successfully as a shield. The CADLM took in all the data from the five different inputs and readied the next salvo. Once again, the night sky was filled with light as another seven missiles shot towards the remaining bombers. This salvo was a sweep, and the remaining eleven Arado's power dived, trying to get under the radar view. Noticing the maneuver, the software readied the Standards' secondary infrared trackers, and the next salvo streaked away, joined this time by three birds from the Fitzgerald. Five Arado's survived that one, and they broke into two groups of three and two respectfully, the larger one heading toward the rearline while the other two attempted to face the Sejong head on. They failed, as a pair of Sidewinders from Forrestal's F-14's ripped them from the sky. The remaining three included the one that survived the first salvo, and as they bore straight on for the Chokai, it positioned itself behind its consorts, using them as another shield. When Chokai's next salvo roared in, the two leading Arado's disintegrated, their wreckage acting as improvised chaff for the last one. Just as it was about to drop its skimming bomb, however, it staggered in the air as a shell from the Fitzgerlad's main gun sliced it's wing off, right before the Chokai's forward CIWS mount chewed through it's nose, detonating the bomb and flinging shrapnel in all directions, including the Chokai. The old destroyer shook as debris pierced her hull, but fortunately, it didn't kill anyone.

"Wow." said Midway. "I guess it does work."

 _Pearl Harbor, 14 hours later..._

  
"Did you see those salvos? I've never seen something so in-sync." said Independence.

"Whatever ever happened to "floating Skynet's?" laughed Renaissance.

"Oh, that?" scoffed Independence. "I was just kidding. I knew all along that there wasn't any danger."

"Terrific. Indy, you're the bravest carrier that ever lived." said Midway, opening her sleeping mask. "Now, can you go to sleep? The convoy leaves for San Diego in the morning, and I'd like my squadron to not be asleep while on duty. It makes me look bad."


	99. Rule 8732

8732\. Taiho, Ryujo, Zuiho, Shinano, Hakuryu, and Ikoma would appreciate not being referred to as the "Kawai Butai".  
8732a. Shoukaku, Zuikaku, Yamato, that means you!

Yokosuka

"We need a nickname."

"Eh?" asked Shinano.

"Think about it. Every other group's got some sort of nickname. Taffy 3, the Movie Stars, the Big Seven, Kido Butai, etcetera. We need a nickname to show everyone we're just as badass as they are!" said Ryujo.

"Ryujo-san, I'm not quite sure that's how it works." said Ikoma, their squadron's newest member while everyone else simply shrugged at Ryujo's latest brainstorm.

"Come on girls, we need one!" said Ryujo. "Don't tell me all of you are fans of being called the Northern Air Escort Fleet!?"

"Well, it _is_ a tad unwieldy." said Zuiho.

"Fair point." said Taiho. "But does anyone have a better name?"

All of them stopped walking to the carrier dorms as they debated potential nicknames.

"The Northern Maidens!" proclaimed Zuiho.

"The Fish Fighters?" offered Shinano.

"The Sea Shepherds?" asked Hakuryu.

"That names taken, Hakuryu-chan." said Taiho. "And I'm pretty sure they trademarked it."

"How about the Wet Warriors?" said Ikoma.

"Um, it sounds a bit too much like some military hentai." replied Shinano.

"What do all of you think of Ryujo's Rangers?"

Her five best friends just stared at her.

"Ryujo-chan, we need a nickname, not a confession of love!" said Hakuryu.

Taiho smiled bemusedly as her companions argued playfully, idly trying to come up with her own nickname ideas.

"Everything alright, imouto-chan?" A new voice suddenly drew her attention, causing Taiho to turn around and see Shoukaku, Zuikaku, and Yamato standing behind them, ostensibly to welcome their little sisters home.

"Oh, don't worry about it, Zuikaku-nee. We're just trying to come up with a nickname for our squadron."

"It doesn't seem to be going well." remarked Yamato.

"Yeah, we're running into a few roadblocks. Actually, do any of you have any idea-ackpff!" began Taiho before both Zuiho and Shinano covered her mouth. Seeing the smirk on Zuikaku's face, Taiho shuddered as she realized she had broken one of the most sacred rules of little sisterdom.

 _Never ask your older sisters for help with nicknames, for that way lies madness.  
_  
"Well," said Zuikaku. "since you asked, imouto-chan, I'll be happy to help. In fact, I think I have one that'll fit you girls perfectly."

Looking at the six young carriers, Zuikaku broke into a smile before continuing. "Since me and Shoukaku are in the Kido Butai, you six can be the Kawaii Butai!"

As the newly nicknamed carriers collapsed into an anime-esque pile of embarrassed babbling, Yamato and Shoukaku started giggling.

"I, Yamato, approve of this nickname."

"It does fit, I suppose." sighed Shoukaku.

"Aw, you're just sad that I thought of it first." said Zuikaku. "Come on, girls, Hosho's whipped something special up for you six."

Shoukaku brushed the hair out of her eyes as the six carriers sped past her at a speed Shimakaze would have envied. "So, how long do we let this go before we tell them?"

"A couple days." said Yamato. "We are older sisters, after all. Teasing every now and then is in the job description."

Three days later...

"This is it, girls." sighed Ryujo. "Our attempts to be badass are forever destroyed."

"We'll never be taken seriously now!" moaned Zuiho.

"I don't think it's that bad." said Ikoma.

"Bad? Ikoma-chan, that name makes it sound like we're a bunch of lolis!"

"Well, I wouldn't be too worried about any long lasting effects." a new voice spoke up, and everyone stood up as Yamato and Taiho's sisters entered Ryujo's room.

"You mean?.." Taiho dared to hope.

"Yes, the Kawaii Butai is now relegated to story fodder for your nieces." said Zuikaku.

The six carriers immediately planted themselves at their comrades feet, thanking them as if a great weight had been taken off their shoulders.

"Thank you, onee-san." said Taiho. "But why. Usually you get a lot more mileage out of these things."

"You're right, imouto-chan." said Zuikaku. "Normally, I would have milked this for as long as I could, but something more important came up."

"Eh?"

Shoukaku and Yamato giggled. "You see, it's funny how you all wanted a nickname just as it arrived."

"Just as what arrived?" asked Hakuryu.

"We were hoping to present this when more of your families were present, but with the Admiral preparing for a new offensive, it's just the three of us who have this honor." said Yamato.

"A few days before you all arrived a group of fishermen from Hokkaido sent this to us to give to you." said Shoukaku, pulling a small plaque out of her hold.

"You six are really popular up north." said Zuikaku as they examined the plaque. It had a cast of all six of them at sea, surrounded by fishing boats, with Zeros and Reppus overhead. But what really caught their eyes were the words inscribed below them. It contained the names of over a dozen fishing boats and their crews, many of whom they recognized from their times in Eniwa and Kushiro, and stainless steel lettering that shone brightly against the bronze plaque.

 **THE FLEET'S ANGELS**

"It's beautiful." stammered Ryujo.

"Oh, my god." whispered Zuiho.

"Wow." gasped Taiho.

"No words can describe this." said Shinano.

"Simply amazing." said Hakuryu.

"I don't believe it." sobbed Ikoma.

The six carriers barely got their words out before they were all brought into a bone-crushing hug by the older shipgirls.

"Congratulations." said Shoukaku.

"We're all proud of you." added Yamato.

"So girls, think you've found your nickname?" asked Zuikaku.


	100. Rule 8759

8759\. Please keep any fiction stories you write out of view for infants. While everyone is overjoyed that Ami has said her first words, we really could have done without the frying pan part.

Yokosuka.

"Are you sure you're ready for this, _saihai_?" asked Takao. "It's only been five months, and the Admiral said we could take as much time as we needed."

"Takao," said Myoko reassuringly. "we both agreed that we'd start taking patrols in shifts. It's only going to be a week, I'll call you every night after I get the girls to sleep, and it's not like it'll just be me alone. Nachi and Sosuke are both going to help me, so don't you worry."

"Yeah, but," said Takao, only for Myoko to cut her off with a kiss.

"I'll be fine, Takao." she said, smiling. "You haven't been to sea for a long time, and I can tell that you're getting restless."

Takao had to admit, her wife had a point. Neither of them had so much as stepped in the water since the girls were born, and both of them were starting to feel the effects of long-term separation. Akashi had worked out a regimen similar to Yamato's and Enterprise's when they had had Yoshino, letting the two of them spend a limited amount of time at sea in shifts, allowing them to sail while still being a part of their daughter's lives for their critical first year of development. So when the Sagami Bay patrol had needed another cruiser, Takao had volunteered, with Myoko planning to take the next one.

"Well, if you're sure.." said Takao.

Myoko nodded. "I am. Now, you go with the others and stretch your sea legs."

"Okay." said Takao, pulling her wife into a hug. "I promise I'm coming back."

"And I promise me and the girls will still be here when you return." whispered Myoko back. Sharing one final kiss, Takao headed to the pier.

"Ready to go, nee-san?" asked Atago.

"Yes, I think so." sighed Takao, returning her wife's wave from the pier.

"Don't worry Takao. Myoko's got this." said Ashigara.

"And it's only a week." added Chokai. "What could go wrong?"

"Imouto-chan," groaned Takao. "I really wish you hadn't said that."

Eight hours later...

Takao waited patiently as the phone rang a few time before Myoko answered it with a cheerful, "Mako, Ami, and Hotaru's residence. How can I help you?"

"It's nice to know that the girls are keeping you in check." giggled Takao. "How is everything? The girls are asleep, I hope."

"They went to sleep about fifteen minutes ago, and none of us had any trouble at all with them." answered Myoko. "In fact, Hotaru's starting to warm up to Nachi just like Ami did."

"That's good." said Takao. "I know how worried Nachi's been about her."

The two talked for about ten minutes before Takao ended the call to let Myoko get some sleep. While she and Ashigara took over from her sisters at the formation's lead, she noticed Chokai writing something in her notebook.

"What's that you're writing, imouto-chan?"

"Oh, Suzuya and Kumano are doing a contest where you have to write a slice of life story and add insanity to it." said Chokai. "They've got me, Haguro, Zao, and Chikuma hooked on it too, so we're all trying to finish it by the end of the week. Unfortunately, I've hit a roadblock. My life's too boring."

Takao giggled. "Trust me, a boring life is not the worst kind to lead."

"But how am I supposed to write an insane story when nothing insane happens to me?"

Takao shrugged. "Honestly, I have no clue. Usually, I have too much insanity in life."

As her eldest sister took her place in the formation, Chokai started writing again, a new idea springing to mind. After all, neither Suzuya or Kumano had ever said the story needed to about _her_ life specifically.

Three days later...

Myoko frantically rushed back to the nursery for the third time in as many minutes. As soon as she had ended her call with Takao, her daughters had all awakened screaming, and were defying all attempts to soothe them. Currently, she was holding Hotaru as far away from Nachi's ponytail as possible, while Nachi, with Makoto in her arms, was using her back as a shield for Sosuke against Ami, who was throwing her toys across the room at _very_ high velocities.

"Hey, supermom?" asked Nachi. "Got any ideas? I think Ami's found the range."

"If I could get close enough, I might be able to get her to sleep with Takao's old beret." said Sosuke, ducking to avoid a pacifier that got past Nachi at a speed rivaling the Concorde.

"Ami-chan." cooed Myoko sweetly. "Don't you want to let Uncle Sosuke close? He has Mama's beret."

Ami looked at Myoko, then at Sosuke, and for a second, all three adults thought that Ami had seen reason. However, in an instant, another pacifier, Mako's by the look of it, was flying through the air. Seeing it miss her uncle by a centimeter, Ami celebrated triumphantly with a cry of "Not the MAMA!"

Myoko, Nachi, and Sosuke all froze as they realized Ami had said her first words, but before any of them could react, Ami launched Hotaru's lavender pacifier. It sailed past Nachi and hit Sosuke clean between the eyes, knocking him unconscious and causing Myoko to flinch, accidentally letting Hotaru get within grabbing distance of Nachi's ponytail. Feeling the unexpected pull, Nachi surged forward, taking Hotaru with her. Ami looked back and watched as Nachi, holding a very happy looking Makoto in her outstretched arms ran madly around the nursery, Hotaru holding onto her hair with a death grip while Myoko frantically chased them.

The end of the week...

Takao and Ashigara walked up to the house's front door, looking forward to seeing their loved ones after a long week. Stepping into the entryway, the first thing they heard was the sound of crying coming from the kitchen. Curious, they entered the room and found a disaster.

While a teakettle boiled over on the stove, Myoko and Nachi desperately tried to get a screaming Hotaru to go back to sleep. At the island, Sosuke was trying to fluff some rice as Ami, legs wrapped around his neck, hit him repeatedly on the forehead with a small frying pan, shouting "Not the Mama!" over and over again. The sight of Makoto sleeping peacefully through all of the chaos only reinforced the absurdity of the scene before them.

" **NANI!?** "

"Well, what do you all think?" asked Chokai sheepishly, as all of her readers grimaced.

"You beat me in the crazy department, that's for sure." said Haguro.

"You might have overdone it a tad, imouto-chan." said Takao gently.

As they all discussed Chokai's story, one of the papers landed next to the kitchen's playpen, where the kids were sleeping. Lazily opening an eye, Ami read the paper with growing enthusiasm and nudged her sisters awake. Seeing what their middle sibling was planning, Makoto rolled her eyes and went back to sleep, while Hotaru lingered another minute before joining Makoto. While she loved going on adventures with Ami, she was sleepy, and her eldest sister was very warm and cuddly. Seeing that she was flying solo, Ami shrugged and silently snuck out of the pen, climbing up onto the counter.

Meanwhile, the adults were still discussing Chokai's story.

"I really did go a bit too far, didn't I?" asked Chokai glumly.

"Cheer up, Chokai." said Ashigara. "It happens to all of us."

"Yeah, besides," said Sosuke. "it's not like there's been any harm done to anyone."

He would have said more, but he stopped as he noticed everyone else was staring at him. Turning to follow their gaze, Sosuke came face to face with Ami, who had the absolutely cutest face on as she raised a frying pan she had grabbed off the counter and bonked him clean on the forehead, happily proclaiming "Not the Mama!" as he went down.

As Myoko and Takao grabbed the utensil out of their daughter's hand and gushed at her first words while Ashigara and Haguro frantically tried to rouse a dazed Sosuke, Chokai looked at the scene as realization hit her.

"So that's what Atago-nee means when she mentions Murphy."

Twelve years later...

"Auntie Ashigara, was I really that bad?" asked Ami.

"Honestly, kiddo." said Ashigara. "Yes. From five months to your first birthday, you were a bit of a holy terror."

As several of her cousins giggled, Ashigara continued. "However, _all_ of you at one point or another gave your parents a story to tell."

"Auntie Ashigara?"

"Yes, Samantha-chan?"

"Is that why Daddy's always wearing his flight helmet in all of our baby pictures?"

Ashigara laughed. "Yes, it is. After seeing what kind to damage a pacifier causes at ninety mph, he made preparations just in case you and Naru-chan inherited your mother's radar."

"Did father have to do anything with me?" asked her own daughter.

"Not that I remember, Hime-chan." said Ashigara. "You were really quiet as a baby. It wasn't till you were a toddler that you started throwing anything, and even then, it was mostly just your stuffed animals. You really liked watching Phobos and Deimos fly."

As Atago's twins giggled, her daughter reacted with her trademark response. "Got something to say, Odango?"

Seeing the signs of a tongue fight bout to break out, Ashigara cleared her throat. "Okay everyone, bedtime."

At everyone's groan, Ashigara smiled. "Remember, we're all going to the park bright and early, so you all need your rest."

Ashigara watched as all of the girls resigned themselves to sleep, Mako and Ami bracketing Hotaru between them, her daughter brushing two heads worth of blonde hair out of her face in mock annoyance, Maya's daughter holding Chokai's securely in her arms, and Nachi's daughter simply looking at the scene and realizing that there was no way she would get anywhere near her blonde sisters, shrugging bemusedly as she laid down on the other side of Samantha and Naru.

Ashigara quietly stood up and went back to the living room, sitting down next to her husband.

"How'd you get them all to sleep?" he asked.

"I told them how Ami said her first words." she said, causing Sosuke to rub his temple.

"Really?"

"Yes. It caused quite a giggle. Especially when Samantha and Naru figured out why you wore your helmet all the time, John."

"Which turned out to never be needed." added Haguro in jest.

"In my defense, when they were born, you had already gotten the latest in fire control. Me, Sosuke, and Matt don't come with built-in armor."

"Well, I guess my story was good for something." joked Chokai as her wife passed the wine around.

"Yes," said Sosuke. "if you leave out the concussion causing part, it was amazing."

Seeing that everyone had a full glass, Myoko raised hers in a toast. "Well, in that case, here's to concussions."

"And wearing helmets to handle your children." added Takao.

"Cheers." said everyone simultaneously.


	101. Dossier on RMS Olympic

LEAD SHIP OF THE OLYMPIC-CLASS OCEAN LINERS  
Name: RMS Olympic  
Original hull dimensions: LOA - 882'9", LBP - 850'0", breadth - 92'0" (92'6" extreme), depth - 64'6"  
Gross tonnage: 45,324 tons (1911-1913); 46,359 tons (1913-1920); 46,439 tons (post-1920)  
Physical appearance as ship girl boy: Strikingly tall, blonde male, fairly muscular physique. Short, scruffy facial hair. Sometimes sighted in the uniform of either a White Star Line crewmember or a Royal Naval Reserve officer, frequently found out of uniform as well.

Summoning and succeeding history: Deliberate summons by Myoukou-class cruiser Ashigara - whether due to the inexperience of the summoner or the summoning rite being designed for warships, attempting to summon a civilian vessel caused the rite to behave erratically, and Olympic was afflicted with the same side effect as his younger sibling Titanic. A rule mentioning Olympic seems to have been written down long before his summoning. Unclear whether this implied a previous summons before the one recorded or if this rule was laid down as a contingency measure. Noted to have rescued RMS Lusitania from her own summoners' attempt at attacking her; currently in a relationship with her.

Notes: While his younger brother is the fresh faced ocean liner whose career ended before it had even begun, Olympic is the seasoned veteran, a ship whose quarter-century career had seen him through times of war and peace, of hardship and prosperity. Don't be too intimidated though, there's a warm soft core beneath the hardass exterior - just ask his girlfriend, or his siblings. Past service in WW1 as an HMT had seen him armed with 12-pounders, 4.7-inch and 6-inch guns; but in recognition of his action against U-103, his most notable weapon post-summoning is an bronze axe with a sharpened portside propeller blade for the head, a favored tool for dispatching Abyssal submarines when he gets up close and personal (vigorous application of his leg being used when pounced on by regular subs). Ramming is something that seems to come naturally to Olympic.

Nowadays Olympic is in Logistics along with his younger sibling, often found making crossings to deliver cargo and such (few are the deliveries which he can **not** make) or towing damaged battleships back into port. As is natural for ocean liners, storms don't seem to give him too much of a hard time, and unlike Titanic it seems Olympic doesn't have a personal beef with cold weather. (Like Titanic, however, he would prefer to not stay in the cold longer than he should.) Off-duty, he's been reported starring in the same play that got both Shakespeares banned from playwriting due to the sheer havoc it caused.

Relations: Aside from aforementioned relationship with Lusitania, as lead ship of his class Olympic is the eldest sibling to RMS Titanic and HMHS Britannic, both of whom (plus Lusitania) mean all the world to him. Attempting to mess with them or their loved ones will not end well if he catches wind of it.


	102. Dossier on RMS Titanic

Name: RMS Titanic  
Original hull dimensions: LOA - 882'9", LBP - 850'0", breadth - 92'0" (92'6" extreme), depth - 64'6"  
Gross tonnage: 46,329 tons  
Physical appearance as ship girl boy: Strikingly tall, blonde male, usually dressed in the uniform of the defunct White Star Line. Mentions of his peculiar resemblance to a young L. di Caprio (from the 1997 film) are commonplace.

Summoning and succeeding history: Accidental summons, during the summoning of HMS Renown and HMS Belfast, due to the inadvertent inclusion of ice among the offerings (and the use of Nearer My God To Thee near the ritual's climax). It is speculated that the ice which slid into the circle may have had a hand in the anomaly of Titanic being summoned as male, smearing part of the ritual circle to toss a bit of instability into the summoning. In any case, he seems to be taking the unexpected change well enough. His appearance stirred numerous shipgirls into a frenzy trying to get into his good books, and sparked a brief flurry of attempts to summon ocean liners as shipboys, with mixed results (including summoning the other two Olympic-class ships and possibly the entire Cunard trio as well). Currently married to USS Langley, having five children.

Notes: Being arguably one of the most famous ships in history, one could be forgiven for expecting Titanic to be a bit full of himself. Nonetheless all reports so far show him to be a remarkably easygoing gentleman, albeit one with a knack for coming up with ideas that really should've been thought over first on occasion (e.g. kidnapping Britannic to get the medic some time away from the girlfriend, pranking submarines by disguising himself as an Abyssal, locking potential couples up in closets to get them to hook up, saying something controversial on Twitter). Fame certainly hasn't gotten to his head, at least in regards to him not being a pompous prat. A shipboy of many trades, when not out at sea Titanic will often be found in the kitchens whipping up a literally first class feast (usually with other ocean liners, though he does tend to get tetchy where food safety is concerned), or on duty at the base pool as one of the lifeguards. He has also been known to model for art and (on one known occasion) a charity calendar, not to mention a music video, and the one time he starred in a theatre production ended up with both ships named Shakespeare being banned from producing plays.

Like most of the other summoned ocean liners (especially RMS Olympic), Titanic's in Logistics, sometimes going out on sortie to tow other vessels back to port or making crossings to deliver cargo and whatnot. Do not think him unsuited to the task: if Olympic could do it so could he, though Titanic is definitely the more fresh faced of the two thanks to the early end of his original career. And do not think he cannot be trusted at sea just because of what happened in 1912: he is actually more responsible than popular belief would have it, and does not appreciate being crowded by any escorts he may have when on sortie. Nor does he appreciate iceberg jokes either. That said, taking the transatlantic Northern Track, with all the danger of its ice fields, is something he prefers not to have to deal with, and as soon as he returns from such a crossing it's a safe bet the first thing he drinks will be something steaming hot.

Relations: Aside from aforementioned marriage to USS Langley, Titanic's next-of-kin would be his elder and younger siblings, RMS Olympic and HMHS Britannic, with whom he is on excellent terms with. It has been reported that he was so ecstatic to be reunited with Olympic that he flung himself at the other and essentially tackled him for a hug.


	103. Rule 7296

_Rule courtesy of AngryAmerican_

 _7296: We all get it, BJ Blazkowicz is a pretty cool guy, but please refrain from mimicking his actions unless appropriate.  
7296a: So please dial back on the tomahawk kills Oklahoma, you're scaring the destroyers with all the dismemberment._

Quincy looked down the line of shipgirls who were preparing for the high-speed run across the Atlantic. The heavy escort would be enough to make any Abyssal force think twice… She looked again at Northampton.

"Why do you have a chainsaw?"

Northampton grinned and hefted the saw, "Melee!"

Quincy stormed over and laid her hands on Northampton's turrets, "Do these not work? Why exactly do you think you need a melee weapon huh?"

The older cruiser shrank back, "It's cool! I want to be able to do stuff like Okie and Tenryuu do!"

"Both of them are crazy." Quincy said flatly, "I don't know if you've been around them when they get to use those things but... Geeze! They have rules dedicated _entirely_ to them about holding back!"

"Why?"

"Ahhh…" One of the destroyers, Izard, spoke up from the rear of the formation. "I- I know why… A few months ago..."

Izard led three of her sisters through the maelstrom, hunting for Abyssals while trying to avoid being detected in return. The skirmishes and abysmal weather had rendered their radar useless, but in the nigh-impenetrable fog, there was no way to tell friend from foe anyway aside from the naked eye.

Off to the front, there was a sharp exchange of heavy gunfire, flashes just visible through the mist. Something flew through the curtain and hit Izard square in the chest, she screamed in alarm as the severed arm bounced off and sank into the crashing waves.

Suddenly something loomed from the side, less than a thousand yards away. An Abyssal heavy cruiser, with eight eight-inch guns, torpedoes, and a deadly battery of smaller guns. Izard looked down the barrels as she trained her torpedoes, but part of her knew that the heavy shells would tear her apart before she could launch. The Abyssal grinned savagely, then its expression changed. It spun around-

An ichor-stained blade chopped through its leg halfway up its thigh, severing the limb in a single strike. With a nightmarish scream, it fell right into the path of Oklahoma's second strike. The battleship buried her tomahawk deep into the Abyssals chest and the infernal light in its eyes died.

With an expression of contempt, Oklahoma pulled her weapon free and rested it on her shoulder. Then she saw the destroyers, wide-eyed and clinging to each other.

"Hello!" She waved jauntily and smiled. As one, the destroyers turned and fled from the scene at full speed. Oklahoma paused and looked down at herself, just then noticing that her white shirt and blue skirt were soaked through with blood and ichor, and no doubt the rest of her was also covered in various vital fluids that should remain in the body.

Izard finished her story and shivered, "I've heard that Tenryuu and Tatsuta are even scarier."

"That sounds awesome…" Northampton said, her eyes shining. Quincy threw up her hands,

"Whatever! But when an Abyssal decides to have Northampton butt on rye, don't come crying to me about it."

Two days later, Quincy smiled as a salvo tore an Abyssal light cruiser asunder. Her side of the convoy was clear now, and she looked over to the far side just in time to see Northampton rev her chainsaw. With a maniacal cackle, she charged towards the largest Abyssal on that side, a heavy cruiser of some strain.

Taken by surprise, the Abyssals did nothing as Northampton raised the saw over her head and brought it down on her target's head.

To no effect on the Abyssal. The chain on the saw broke, and the guide bent under the force, leaving Northampton in fisticuffs range of a deeply unamused Abyssal.

Quincy swerved to avoid Northampton's senseless and bloody form as she skipped like a stone across the water, busted chainsaw still clutched in her hand. She heaved a sigh as she took aim, mentally composing the rule that would go up after this fiasco. And she would never, _never_ let Northampton live this down.


	104. Rule 7729 Original

_7729\. Just because you can summon your ship hull does not mean you can use it for a side business._ "Welcome, welcome one and all!" Akigumo announced to the gaggle of shipgirls assembled before her, a nigh-manic grin on her face. "I'd like to thank all of you for answering my invitation - hopefully none of you have decided to skip off duty for this, or the Admiral is going to chew you out!" she added with a cheeky wag of her fingers. "I'll chew you out for dragging me all this way, dess," Kongou grumbled under her breath, still a little moody from having her planning (things to surprise her Teitoku with) interrupted by a destroyer claiming - rather suspiciously - to have items concerning Goto that she might be rather interested in.

"Aaaanyway, I'm sure all of you are wondering what I called you here for, and the answer is..." With a dramatic sweep of her hand, she gestured to the sea, summoning her original hull into existence in the span of a few seconds, materializing in a manner resembling an extremely sped-up timelapse of construction. "Tada! I've decided to take you all for a little tour through this old shell for a little 'stroll down memory lane', as it's called on the other side of the Pacific? Yes, that sounds about right. Now, with my sisters still on duty who wants to have a look around the best Kagerou-class destroyer's insides? No takers? I'll let you fire my guns once we're far enough out to sea," she added with a teasing tone, earning a smack upside the head from Zuikaku before Shoukaku volunteered herself. "It wouldn't hurt to have a look around, surely?" Slowly, albeit grudgingly, the rest of the group followed after her in short order.

It turned out that the suspiciously generous offer was an excuse for Akigumo to show them around her original interiors like a grandstanding tour guide, dropping somewhat indiscreet hints about her tendencies towards self-aggrandizement as she chattered about who was berthed where and what they got up to, or what under-the-table shenanigans were conducted in what spaces. To be fair, some of the lucky shipgirls did get the chance to fire her hull's guns (Kongou in particular firing blanks in the general direction of Yokosuka as yet another declaration of her BURNING LOVE for Admiral Goto), though every time Akigumo made a flirtatious remark about it she'd end up getting smacked upside the head for her troubles.

But worst of all were the artworks strategically placed around the ship, giving the destroyer opportunities to go into great length about her journey as a budding artist in her off-duty hours. While some of these pieces were landscapes and such, there were quite a few portraits among them, colleagues and personnel and original works alike, and yes, several portraits of Goto in various stages of clothedness. "I'm not exactly sure I want to know how she makes such good art," Shoukaku muttered under her breath while Akigumo was busy. "Her technique hints at a skill level above the average," Kirishima mused, frowning a little as she studied a charcoal sketch of Wreck and Kentucky engaging in a showdown for the ages. "I'm not sure how much time she spends at the drawing table but my estimate is a few hours - daily."

"She... she drew pinups of Teitoku..." Kongou was, to put it mildly, displeased with this fact, even as she was already trying to hide one of the smaller portraits in her outfit to take it home with her. "How did she even- is Teitoku-" "That shitty admiral, cheat on you? Psh." Akebono was evidently unimpressed thus far, arms folded over her chest and a scowl evident on her face. "He's too far gone with you for the idea to ever cross his mind. More likely is 'Autumn Spider' here has pretty sharp memory, good for keeping details in her head." "That or she has a really vivid imagination," Zuikaku added, shuddering at the idea. Who knew what sorts of things an artist like her could be thinking of?

"And here! Here we have the piece that started it all." Akigumo's tone turned fond as she gestured towards the artwork just outside the engine room, seemingly oblivious or indifferent to the growing exasperation of her 'tour group'. "Back when I saw Hornet's sinking, one of my crew drew this depiction of her going to her tragic, watery demise! This was the piece that started me on my path, the path that led me to the artistic achievements you saw before, and here I am today! Who wants to have their portrait done for the gallery?" "Actually", Akebono interrupted, nearly glaring daggers at her fellow destroyer, "I think we're all done here right everyone? Thanks for... whatever this was supposed to be, but I think it's time we go."

All of a sudden there was the sound of the doors slamming shut as if trapping them inside, and all of them turned to Akigumo in alarm. "What the hell? What's the big idea, locking us all in like this?" Zuikaku demanded, nearly rounding on her in outrage. "I won't stand for it!" "Ah, I'm so sorry everyone," the destroyer began, the expression on her face anything but sorry. "But nobody disembarks until they've paid the entrance fee! It's only fair after all you see-" "I have to register my objections," Kirishima cut in, shooting a pointed glare at their not-so-gracious host. "Fares and fees should usually be paid before a tour, not after it, yes?" "Y-yes but, well you see," Akigumo began, "if I asked you to cough up before letting you on board you'd never get on! And I need the money dammit, I'm still paying out the nose for all those damned royalty fees, and commissions are going pretty slow at the moment, and-"

"You duped us, dess! We've been had!" Kongou howled, practically spitting mad that she'd been parted from her beloved Admiral Goto for this fiasco of all things. The fact that there had been portraits of the Admiral was definitely adding to her current state of ill temper. "Let us out right now and maybe I'll let you off with a broken nose for luring us into your shitty art gallery!" Akebono threatened, already cracking her knuckles in anticipation. "I mean you could've just not showed up right? Bet you were curious," Akigumo countered, slowly backing up all the while. "Besides you could at least be grateful I didn't show you the R-18 collection of my works. Maybe if you pay up I might just do you a favor when I begin my next work, hmmm?" Whatever the favor she was offering was, she never got to say, as several shipgirls (thinking she was blackmailing them) proceeded to fling themselves at her screaming bloody murder and numerous profanities.

Much violence ensued.

Even though in her own words she could 'do things that even battleships and heavy cruisers can't', being outnumbered meant that Akigumo was next seen some time later in the docks, grousing about the recent fiasco while repairs were underway. "Some people, honestly! No appreciation for talent, first it was those insultingly high royalty fees now it's refusing to pay for the privilege of seeing fine art? Artists don't work for free dammit, they don't understand the suffering I go through for my craft! Ohhhh, just they wait, wait til my next masterpiece comes out... I'll make sure they regret it, rrrrrgh..." 


	105. Rule 8264

_8264: Thunder Child, we've said this before. No Ramming Clubs!  
8264a: "But I wanted to practice in case that Romulan harlet comes back." ~ Enterprise E_

Two years now had passed since Thunder Child had reintroduced the 'ancient naval art of RAMMING' to a select cadre of students, and while this was still a tactic not commonly deployed (barring certain outliers such as HMS Campbeltown), it had at least gone a long way in removing the stigma associated with this crudest of naval CQC techniques. Now as things stood, numerous members of that original class had reconvened at Thunder Child's invitation, perhaps with a couple of newcomers as well.

"It is good to see you all again, brave and proud sisters!" the torpedo ram announced, addressing them all in that endearingly chivalrous manner of hers. "And perhaps a handful of brothers, if mine eyes deceive me not," she added, for in addition to her previous White Star Line student, SS Kronprinz Wilhelm had also deigned to join them, though Thunder Child had to keep a sharp eye on him in case he managed to swindle valuables off one of the shipgirls. Commerce raider habits died hard, it seemed.

"Regardless! You are all gathered here in answer to my call, are we not?" she continued, looking over her erstwhile students with a proud gleam in her eyes. "It has come to my attention that the Admiralty is restricting the use of ramming as an offensive tactic against the enemy fleet. An understandable and necessary evil, to be sure, that you not incur unnecessary damages! But it has doubtless left not a few of us in need of practice as regards to making use of our own momentum as a weapon. Hence my invitation, and my proposal!"

Thunder Child cleared her throat, a broad grin evident on her face as she made her case. "Let us pit ourselves one against the other, as once was done by the Greek ships of old!"

There was a moment of confused silence, before Buckley spoke up. "You mean, ram each other for practice? Like a fight club, but for ramming? A ramming club?" "It is precisely that!" Thunder Child nodded sagely, evidently quite pleased with her little proposal to keep the art of the ram alive and well among the various shipgirl fleets of the world. "Naturally of course, it would be on a navy-by-navy basis as we later go our separate ways but first, as we are all congregated in this one area, let us this once inaugurate the Impactful Society of Naval Rams with some good old-fashioned single combat!"

Cheers erupted from the shipgirls who had joined her in the successful ramming sortie against Rock Fortress Princess and Island Siege Princess. "DENIED!" a voice cried out, causing more than a couple pairs of eyes to turn in the direction of whoever had yelled.

Who else would it have been but HMS Royal Oak, the constant damper on Thunder Child's madcap Don Quixote-esque sallies into teaching the newer generations the old ways of jousting and ramming, and surprisingly enough trailing alongside her was none other than HMS Hood. "This has got to stop, Thunder Child!" Royal Oak half-pleaded, half-demanded, the expression on her face nothing short of exasperated. "The last thing we need is to be encouraging our own shipgirls to go hog fucking wild on each other and possibly sending each other to the docks more than should be necessary."

"Besides, have you _seen_ the Times Campbeltown Went St Nazaire tally board? And that's _without_ me grabbing hold of her and using her as a bludgeon!" Hood said, earning a bit of a proud cackle from the destroyer notorious for concussing herself on multiple occasions. "You stop that immediately young lady, resummoning you repeatedly is not good for our resources budget _and_ repeatedly watching you make a fiery last stand is traumatizing our colleagues!" the battleship added, casting a sharp glare in her charge's direction.

"I will reiterate my perpetual objection once more," Thunder Child insisted, frowning just a tad as she folded her arms over her mailclad chest. "I have been ramming for my entire service career and it has always served me well. Why should they who have been involved in accidental collisions not turn this propensity into a strength?" "Because not all of us are built to ram!" Hood answered, now stepping up to the torpedo ram to look her squarely in the eye. "Just because everyone here was capable of damaging via collision doesn't mean they're potential ramming candidates! Damaged bows, warped keels, need I go on?" "We've said this before Thunder Child, be reasonable," Royal Oak followed up, backing up her fellow battleship's words. "No Ramming Clubs, otherwise who knows how much more use the docks will be seeing?"

The torpedo ram huffed a little, before letting out a sigh and conceding defeat this time. "Very well, very well, I will stand down. This meeting is adjourned, the society must disband for now!" she announced in a loud voice, to general groans of disappointment from the more ram-happy folks in the crowd. But when Thunder Child turned to address the two battleships directly, her voice was lowered in volume, and there was a bit of a cheeky tone to the way she spoke to them. "But I will have you know that should my students take it upon themselves to arrange matters on a more informal basis, it will not be within my grounds to bring them back in line. Good day to you both now!"

As she left, Royal Oak caught sight of what appeared to be one of the spacefleet girls grousing about the official disbanding of the Impactful Society. "But I wanted to practice in case that Romulan harlot comes back!" the starship USS Enterprise (NCC-1701-E) was saying to her partner, prompting a quiet facepalm from the battleship as she and Hood beat a speedy retreat out of there. A starship engaging in ramming? God help them all, the momentum involved would be nothing short of devastating!


	106. Rule 8407

**Rule 8407: All Canadian fishing schooners are to report to Lunenburg NS** ** _immediately_** **following the (Redacted) incident!**

 **Two months after the** **Sugar Rush Incident** **(dear god Carraway still couldn't believe that was a thing!) and Bluenose was finally let off probation. The schooner happily roamed the base. Not far away was Hindy and her bunch. The smaller American airships Akron and Macon. Each was enjoying a tasty breakfast and Bluenose decided to join them. She didn't have her usual partner in crime Theabaud with her because after the** **drunken schooner** **debacle and the awesome sugar rush cannon, it was decided that the two be separated until the insanity could quiet down. That didn't mean Bluenose wasn't capable of causing trouble on her own. In fact she was quite capable of it! And the airships own antics were well known enough for her to recognize that even without Theabaud, the base wasn't safe from schooner craziness!**

 **"The crazy Canadian is finally let off parole." Hindy greeted her.**

 **"So what crazy scheme do you have cooked up this time?" Akron asked.**

 **"What makes you think I have one?" Bluenose replied innocently, hefting a container of glitter.**

 **"Knowing you, well..." Macron shrugged.**

 **"Not what I meant. I mean, what makes you think I have just** ** _one?"_** **Bluenose purred.**

 **Thankfully before either Akron or Macon could inquire further the alarm bell rang. Abyssals, inbound!**

 **"Let's go girls!" Hindy shouted and she, Akron and Macon made for the door.**

 **Bluenose swallowed the last of her breakfast before charging out after them. "I never even got a chance to sip my morning tea!" She pouted. "Oh, they are going to pay!" Though Canadian by birth, Canada was part of the Commonwealth, making Bluenose just as British as those crazy Brits across the pond. SecNav help whoever got in the way of her precious tea! That and hockey! "And," noted Bluenose with barely restrained anger as a shell lobbed from one of the few Abyssal battleships this side of the Atlantic hit the sports building on base that held the hockey arena. "They've just done both."**

 **Bluenose was built in 1921 as a saltbanker, a popular fishing schooner renowned for its speed and ability to take in large hauls of fish. The racing she became famous for was secondary to her fishing. When she was summoned she lacked the engine she had in later life, relying solely upon wind power. Against the iron giants that stood in the harbor, she stood no chance. That's what the experts would say. And normally, they'd be right. But this was not a normal situation. This was a Canadian schooner who had just seen her hockey ring blown to pieces by her most hated foe and had already been denied her morning tea by said foe! Iron, steel, and guns had nothing on her! She was joined by several other Canadian schooners on base, many of them old friends. Haligonian, Canadia, Elsie, and fleetmate Gilbert B. Roberts!**

 **"Munit Haec et Altera Vincit!" They roared and charged into the harbor, rigging fully deployed. And Bluenose led the charge, wielding her glitter sprayer like weapon. She squeezed it and the nearest Abyssal went up in flames. Another squeeze and another explosion.**

 **Not that Bluenose was a one kanmusu show. Haligonian had a mean right hook, Canadia a nasty kick. Elsie darted in and out of the Abyssal lines of fire so quickly that they ended up shooting at each other.**

 **And Roberts was smashing in Abyssal heads left and right with "IS THAT** ** _SUPERGLUE?!"_** ****

 **At this point Hindy gave up. She completely totally and utterly gave up! Americans had their own brand of crazy, stupid and insane but this was too much for her! She was later not too ashamed to admit that she and the other airships just stood there like shocked tourists as a handful of schooners annihilated the entire Abyssal fleet!**


	107. Rule 8575

_**8575: It is nearing the 4th of July, we will be preventing any other of fireworks of any type.**_

~~ ~~* ~*~~

An undisclosed location on the West Coast with a lot of open space, June 10, 20XX

"You ladies have a lot of nerve you know, pressganging a Royal Mail Steamer into testing fireworks for that most American of holidays," Titanic teased, grinning wryly as he stepped back to admire the formidable array of pyrotechnics nearly overflowing from the pile of crates laid out for inspection. "To the victor go the spoils, yeah?" Iowa (BB-61) answered with a playful smirk. "Our turf, our rules. I don't see you making too much of an objection anyway."

"Ti's a real sport about these things, I'm sure he doesn't mind helping out. Besides," Langley added, taking her husband's tie in hand so she could yank him close and steal a kiss, " _someone_ has to make himself useful around here don't you think?" That definitely took Titanic by surprise, and he was more than likely warm around the face and under the shirt collar at that, chuckling as he tipped his hat to Langley and taking her hand to press a kiss of his own to the back of it. "Yes ma'am."

The famed ocean liner had been in the general area to pay a visit to the Mother of All Carriers, currently making rounds among various naval installations in the Pacific. With the two of them on the West Coast, they'd gotten themselves caught up in the shipgirls' plans for the upcoming festivities a month away. Preparations for Independence Day were already getting underway, some of it likely under-the-board so to speak, and he had a sneaking feeling that in line with the classic 'Yankee' way of making stuff go boom, the plans for this year's 4th of July were going to be something worthy of V for Vendetta. At least, judging by the stated plan of putting on a hell of a grand fireworks show to follow the evening barbecue.

"Where did you get all this anyway?" Titanic inquired, examining a Roman candle with apparent interest. "Postal service, and a few foreign shipments," Liberty ship SS Jeremiah O'Brien replied, picking up a large triangular firework as big as the palm of a hand. "The Filipinos and the Chinese love making things go bang for holidays, so we placed a few orders. Some of them under the radar of course," she added in a conspiratorial tone, "as they might exactly not be allowed around here. Like those triangle firecrackers - the ones the size of thick pizza slices can set off car alarms a few yards out."

Langley frowned just a little, managing to find (much to the nearby liner's chagrin) what looked like fireworks resembling finger-sized sticks of dynamite strung on a common fuse. "In that case, we may as well be careful. Some of this stuff looks like it could almost pass for munition in terms of power." "Well," the battleship began, starting to pull out various makes and types of firework out from the crates, "that's why we need to test these bad boys out before arranging them for the big banging on the 4th! If those science girls would just come out of hiding all of us together could come up with a firework show nobody will be forgetting any time soon!"

The carrier would nod, donning heavy duty gloves while the Liberty ship passed extra pairs around: kanmusu or not, having a firework detonate on or near a hand was not a pleasant experience. "So," she began, cracking her knuckles, "who's got the lighter?"

And test them they did, with much enthusiasm and experimentation. Langley took the opportunity to tie the fuses of five rockets together, a scaled down test for the possibility of launching the whole stock all at once from a hwacha. Jeremiah O'Brien was almost sent packing when she tested the whistling fireworks — some of the shipgirls had heard the wheeee and thought it sounded like kamikaze dives or falling ordnance. Iowa tied a triangle to the 'string of dynamite' firecracker and set it off to produce a sound vaguely like machine gun fire, ending in a loud bang. Titanic mounted a Catherine wheel horizontally, stuck a Roman candle in the center, and lit both to create the effect of a ring of light spitting out jets of light straight up into the sky.

The trouble came when they tried to test the fire fountain, which was supposed to erupt in a tall shower of multicolored sparks: the fuse ran down when they lit it, but seemingly nothing happened. "Well that's a dud," Iowa observed, setting it aside to root through the pile for another test sample. Bad idea. As anyone who's had a trip to the ER for firework injuries knows, unexploded 'crackers sometimes go off after a brief period, and that's exactly what happened here: as they were getting another firework out, the fountain suddenly began to erupt, making them scramble back in alarm as the red, white, and blue sparks shot up and rained merrily back down, getting onto the pile — including onto the larger pyrotechnics. Oh shit.

BOOM.

The blast was just strong enough that all of them could feel the air pulse around them, but holy macaroni it was loud enough to be heard a good distance away as their entire stock of fireworks began to burn with raucous violence. Apparently, New Year's Eve with Filipino fireworks was an utter assault on the ears with how much dakka these things could pack when lit simultaneously. "Back! Get back!" Langley's voice rang out, clear and commanding as the four of them (with ears still ringing) beat a hasty retreat from the rapidly escalating situation, an aerial shell rocketing off and exploding into a shower of silver stars only adding to the urgency.

"Fuck! What the fuck, argh!" Iowa was swearing worse than she had done the last time she tried cooking bacon on her hot gun barrels, intent on putting as much distance between her and all the noisy carnage. "Shit! Goddamn it even sounds a bit like artillery! O'Brien, down!" A rocket streaked past her shoulder with a whiz, Jeremiah O'Brien ducking low to evade it as it flew past them and went out with a bang a few feet ahead.

The four of them didn't stop running until the remains of that rocket were well behind them, and only then, after much panting and swearing, did they hit the ground. "This was such a mistake," the Liberty ship howled a little dramatically, flopping facedown on the ground with a groan. "I regret everything." "Motion seconded,'" Langley grumbled, the carrier's arm over her eyes. "How long until the Admiral finds out about the overpowered pyrotechnics?" "Dunno," Iowa replied, rolling over to brush the dust off her front. "Let's just hope he doesn't tell the rest of the brass, or we'll be in more trouble than we're already in."

A little breathless and clutching his chest, Titanic propped himself up on his elbows to watch the fireworks going up in smoke, stars, and sparks, making a hell of a racket in the process: crackles and bangs and the occasional _wheeeeee_ of a whistle bomb running down to its sharp report. Blanching a little at the idea of just how much trouble they would surely be in, how bad their punishment would be, he dropped back down, covering his face with his hat before voicing his thoughts.

"Either way we slice it, and this is just my estimation, our geese are going to be so cooked you could serve the whole flock for dinner."


	108. Rule 8645

_8645: Who the hell stole one of the U2 Spy planes!  
8645a: The reason we know is the fact that there is a U2 Spy Plane in one of the Naval Air Base hangars!_

~~ ~~* ~*~~

All told, this was not a good week for the SCIENCE!girls. There was still a faintly lingering scent of bleach around a 20-yard radius of their facility to neutralize the unbelievably godawful odor from their experimentation on stinkbombs, and they had temporarily been barred from any machine shops on account of their attempted mass production of 1000-round Nerf rifles. This, unfortunately, made for some fairly bored shipgirls. And as many admirals knew, bored shipgirls tended to get up to mischief more often that was strictly necessary.

An ominous black aircraft cuts through the air in the dead of night, two shipgirls sitting in a cockpit meant for one and bickering in hushed voices.  
"I still can't believe you roped me into this! You realize our ass is grass if and when they find out?"  
"To be fair, it's not like they'll miss one historical plane right? Poor old U-2's going into retirement in the near future, this could be our chance!"  
Now _why_ would USS South Dakota, and USS Phoenix (CL-46) be attempting to smuggle a Lockheed U-2 into a certain naval base as incognito as possible?

"Ow, ow, ow, is now a good time to make a 'reborn from the ashes' joke around you?" the battleship asked, groaning exasperatedly as she shifted in her seat, sandwiched between the seat and Phoenix. "SoDak please, we're doing them a favor!" The cruiser would grin, attempting to make herself as comfortable as possible atop her shipgirl seat while she flew the plane, trying to avoid hitting the ceiling with her head. "We can retool them, modify them to launch off carriers! Tada, increased reconnaissance in cases where space shipgirls have imaging difficulties." "I still think asking them would've been less dangerous for your health," South Dakota grumbled, rearranging herself in the sandwiched state as Phoenix began final descent. "Buncha skinflints wouldn't've given us so much as the schematics. Still banned from the machine shop, dammit!"

Coming in for the landing was the difficult part. "...I'm going to hope you have experience in landing a spyplane before, Phoenix." "...There's a first time for everything I guess." "...We're gonna die! We're gonna die and it'll wake everyone up!" "SoDak quiet I can't concentr- holy shit!" And much screaming was heard in the cockpit thereafter as the U-2 touched down. Phoenix slowly opened her eyes. "Ha...hahahaholy shit we did it! U-2, you are ours now baby!" "Great," South Dakota groaned, clutching at her chest as the ersatz pilot pulled into the hangar. "Let's blow this joint before I keel over from any further shock." And under her breath: " _I am going to dissect every flippin' inch of you you lousy goddamn spyplane, stealing you was enough excitement for one night and it had better have been worth it_."

"You look like the dead walking among the living," Graf Zeppelin mused the morning after, as South Dakota made her entrance into the mess hall. "Perhaps a brew of real German coffee is in order?" "That'll be nice, thank you," the battleship murmured, looking distinctly haggard as she shuffled off after the carrier.

"Rough night?"

"Like you wouldn't believe."

While the rest of the morning passed without incident, an unpleasant surprise was found tacked on the notice board shortly after 1300hrs:  
 **8645: Who the hell stole one of the U2 Spy planes!  
8645a: The reason we know is the fact that there is a U2 Spy Plane in one of the Naval Air Base hangars!**

On seeing it, South Dakota took one look at Phoenix, who took one look at her in return. An inadvertent intense staredown ensued, and after half a minute of tension both of them spoke at precisely the same time.

"Bunker? Bunker."

It would seem that they would have to lie low and wait for the case to go cold. Soon to be retired or not, U-2s were pretty damn useful, and the agencies that used them did not like to see them go missing.


	109. Rule 8779

8779\. Izumo will be in the docks for the next few months thanks to the Abyssals ambushing her convoy. While she recovers, Admiral Goto would like a full report on just how recon satellites, planes, and submarines managed to miss three battleships and two heavy cruisers.

South China Sea.

Convoy SBHCM-X4 cruised through the ocean's calm waters, the six bulk carriers and one containership led by the destroyer Ningbo and Izumo. They had left the Philippines eight hours ago, and so far everything was going smoothly.

"Bloody Hell, not again!" groaned a voice behind her, followed by the sound of steam escaping into the atmosphere.

 _Well, almost everything_ , thought Izumo as she turned to her teacher. Kongo had just come off of a two month patrol of the SCS and her condensers were in need of serious repair. Under normal circumstances, that would have allowed Kongo to get repaired by Delta at Subic Bay before returning home, but this convoy was high priority, and the Vietnamese had demanded a powerful escort. Thus, Kongo had only gotten a temporary fix for her condenser before being sortied out. And now it looked like that patch was failing.

"Kongo-sensei, are you alright?" asked Izumo, turning around to sail alongside her mentor.

'I'm fine, Izumo-chan." wheezed Kongo, steam slowly spilling from her ears. "Just a little hot under the collar. That's all."

Izumo looked Kongo over. Her forehead was covered in sweat, and Izumo could tell that the older battleship was suppressing the urge to start panting.

"Your condenser's blown, hasn't it?" at Kongo's silence, she continued. "Sensei, you must return to base."

"Now, just wait a minute, Izumo-chan." said Kongo. "It's just a little heat, I can take,,,"

Before she could say anymore, a huge plume of steam billowed out of Kongo's ears, as if one of the destroyers had turned on their smoke generators.

"You were saying, sensei?" asked Izumo. "You need to return to Subic. You are in no shape either to maintain speed with the convoy or in a battle."

"I can't just abandon you with this convoy by myself, can I?" asked Kongo. "What kind of a teacher would I be?"

"Sensei, what was the lesson you taught me about maintenance?" said Izumo. "A week in for repairs is better than..."

"An eternity on the seafloor." sighed Kongo. "Ah, irony. The student is quoting lessons to the teacher."

"All because I had a very good one." said Izumo, grinning. "Sensei, return to base. Take Nashi and Momi, and I'll inform the Ningbo that you'll be leaving us."

"You sure about this?"

"Of course, sensei." said Izumo. "After all, what could go wrong?"

Four hours later...

Izumo cursed her words as she dodged another Abyssal salvo. Her scout had determined that they were facing three Ta class battleships and two Ne class heavy cruisers. How such a force had managed to breach one of the most heavily patrolled sea lanes in the world was anyone's guess, but Izumo currently didn't have time to ponder that one. They were outgunned and outnumbered, and planes from either Junyo or the Liaoning were at least forty-five minutes away. And the convoy didn't have forty-five minutes. If she didn't do something, she and everyone in the convoy would die. Looking once again at the line of enemy ships just now at the horizon, she made her decision.

CIC, CNS Ningbo.

"Sir, I have a transmission from Izumo."

"Put it through, Lieutenant." said the Ningbo's captain, holding is radiophone to his ears.

"Captain, I need you to turn 60 degrees to starboard and lead the convoy to safety.." Izumo's static-laced voice said on the other end. "I've instructed our remaining destroyers to follow you and lay a smokescreen for cover."

"And what about you?"

A sigh came though on the line, and Izumo answered him. "I will delay the enemy."

Izumo broke formation as the convoy turned, bringing her guns to bear on the leading cruiser. Checking her radar, her turrets changed elevation, and then, nine 16-inch shells screamed out of their barrels and through the air, landing slightly behind the cruiser. As her fire control calculated new solutions, a calm voice spoke through the chaos.

 _I am battleship Izumo of the Japan Maritime Self-defense Force. This convoy is under my protection, and the only way you'll get to them is over my sinking corpse!  
_  
As the range closed, she focused on the cruisers. She could kill them far easier than the battleships, and every ship she sank before they inevitably killed her would be one less chasing the convoy. Pouring on steam, she accelerated to 32 knots and brought her forward secondary turret into the fight, aiming for the cruiser's weaponry. After a few more minutes of the bombardment, the cruiser faltered as her shells hit something important, gouts of flame shooting out from the cruiser's "B" turret. Any thoughts of celebration, however, were dashed as several shells from the Ta's slammed into her, causing her to grunt in pain.

"Oooh, you like to play rough, eh?" said Izumo sweetly. "Alright then. Let's play rough!"

Another salvo flew at the cruiser, and while at first it looked like they hadn't hit anything important, a huge column of flame erupted from beneath the cruisers' deck, consuming the Ne in a fireball and of the SCIENCE! girls would have been proud of. Turning her attention to the other cruiser, she saw it fall behind the line of Ta's that were now steaming straight at her.

'My, my." said Izumo. "Just when I thought you Abyssals were getting soft on me. Bring it, you washed up flotsam!"

 _Meanwhile...  
_  
Kongo groaned as her machinery protested the torture she was putting it through. When the distress call had come in, she had immediately turned around and left her escort behind, stuffing her boilers with as much steam as they could handle. Her student was fighting an enemy that outmatched her in every way imaginable, and she was the only one who could help.

 _I won't be too late this time, not today!_ thought Kongo as she gritted her teeth. Meanwhile, in her engine room, Kongo's chief engineer watched as her turbines rotated at a blistering pace, driving the screws through the water at 33 knots.

"Tell the fireroom I want another ten pounds of pressure on this meter, now!"

"Sir!" yelled his assistant. "We can't give her anymore! She'll fly apart!"

Knowing that Kongo wasn't going to stop until Izumo was safe, he gave one more glance at his girls' heart before he gave his next order. "Fly her apart then!"

Izumo shuddered as another shell slammed into her, knocking out another secondary gun. An instant later, her own guns roared in response, straddling the second Ta class. The battle had gone well at first, with a lucky shot breaking the leading battleship's back, but the Abyssals had retaliated by taking out her radar and two of her turrets. She only had her "B" turret left, and it's accuracy had gone down since its fire control connections had been severed. As more shells from the cruiser slammed into her superstructure, she directed what was left of her secondary's to switch targets to the lighter Abyssal.

"You're going to better than that!" she yelled as "B" turret scored another hit.

The Abyssals continued the pour their fire onto the lone battleship. The battleground was wreathed in smoke, broken only by a light breeze. With each salvo, the Abyssals expected to smoke to clear and reveal the Kanmusu's sinking wreck. However, all they received were feelings of shock when they saw that Izumo was somehow still afloat and defiantly firing back.

The battle waged on for another hour, as one of the battleships and the remaining cruiser succumbed to Izumo's fire, leaving her and the Abyssal flagship, which grinned as she sized up her opponent. Her comrades might be gone, but they had not gone quietly. Izumo was dead in the water, her one remaining turret jammed to starboard as fires ravaged her superstructure. She doubted that Izumo was even fully conscious, given that the was making no effort to clear the blood and oil from her eyes.

 _No matter,_ thought the Abyssal. _she will die nonetheless. She did put up a good fight though. I'll have to ask the Director if she can corrupt her soul once she sinks-_ _ **WHAT!?  
**_  
Any further thoughts were drowned out as four 14-inch shells splashed into the water in front of her. Realizing that another opponent had arrived, the flagship turned to face the newcomer head-on. It was only when she was halfway though her turn that she realized her mistake.

Izumo was barely coherent. She couldn't move her guns, or her rudder. All the Abyssal had to do was stay away from "B" turret's arc and she would have surely sunk her in a few more salvos. But, as the Abyssal turned, she brought herself into "B" turret's sight, and Izumo, using all the will she had left, fired one last salvo. The shells soared out of their barrels and pierced the Abyssal's hide, setting off a chain reaction of explosions that ultimately reached her aft magazine. The last thing Izumo saw was the Abyssal vanish in a brilliant flash, and then the world tuned black.

Yokosuka

Admiral Goto stared long and hard as he read the report. Izumo was going to require virtual rebuilding to heal her injuries, and she would be out of action for at least three months, probably more. The normal anger he felt whenever any of his personnel were injured was exacerbated when Ooyodo had dropped off the Vietnamese findings on just how an Abyssal force had gotten so far into 'secured' territory. Apparently, an Vietnamese Air force plane had sighted strange floating objects near the Abyssal's suspected entry point, but the report had never reached Convoy Command, instead being tied up in the mass of paperwork. Goto angrily opened the tab on his computer to write his report to the Diet. One of his girls had almost sunk due to red tape, and he was going to make sure some heads would roll, lest the next time they wouldn't be as lucky.


	110. Rule 8882

**8882: No thanks to some of our logistics and medical shipfolk, we now have liners intended for the eastbound route from Europe to Asia. All shipgirls intending to join the invasion of Singapore please be advised, the new supply line is currently being established.**

 _Portsmouth_

The preparations were made, the resources carefully and discreetly salvaged (some would say recycled), the circle drawn and ready. Now all that remained was to conduct the rite itself, and for that, a long overdue meeting had to be convened.

"Not to rain on any parade you British plan on having, but _warum sind wir hier_?" So spoke SS Kaiser Wilhelm II, her face unreadable as ever due to the golden mask covering it. "Is it not your own ships you plan on summoning? I hardly see the need to bring us into the affair." Aquitania, who had been stacking the offerings into neat little piles in the center of the overlapping heptagrams inscribed within the circle, looked up at her with a nonplussed expression. "It may be our ships we're attempting to raise, but you and your brothers were the first and oldest of us," he explained, finally stepping back from a pile of steel ingots arranged like a Jenga tower. "We'll have a better chance of bringing those two back specifically if all of us are present - they were the last of our kind after all."

"Hmph." Wilhelm II remained fairly unimpressed, or at least it seemed that way. "All this trouble just to complete the whole lot of us." "Well why not, _meine Schwester_?" SS Kaiser Wilhelm der Grosse had made his way over to her, resting a hand on her shoulder (which she then irritatedly shrugged off). "The Canadians have their schooners, and there is also the Historical Fleet, _ja_? I would like to see our final two colleagues, if only to match the other fleets, and it is right that we who came before greet them who were last." All then fell silent as the regal beauty that was SS France entered the room. " _Bonsoir mon amis_. I see that the preparations are complete?" she asked, nodding at the offerings with an approving smile. "Perhaps to increase our chances, something from their port of call..." Reaching into her pocket, she laid several glittering stones upon the little towers of steel and bauxite, and if one was paying enough attention one could swear Kronprinz Wilhelm's fingers had twitched at the sight of them.

"Diamonds..." SS Deutschland breathed, hardly daring to believe her own eyes. "South African diamonds," SS France added. "Since they were originally meant to ply the Southampton-Cape Town route. I got the idea from monsieur Titanic's summoning, the one which included an ice cube _oui_?" "Madame, that was an _accident_ ," the liner in question reminded her, a bit of a flustered grin on his face from the fact that she had taken inspiration from his summoning. "Including an extra item deliberately, on the other hand... Well let's hope we don't end up summoning the two with any unexpected side effects." Kronprinzessin Cecilie grumbled under his breath at the mention of side effects, before raising his voice. "Very well then! All is ready, British liners? _Frau Frankreich_? Then let us begin."

The twelve ocean liners thus gathered took their places, each standing at one of the fourteen points formed by the two overlapping heptagrams. Only two points were thus left vacant, and at Mauretania's signal, the drums and pipes began: fitting music to call forth two ships named after medieval castles. Some of them even muttered under their breath various utterances, as if to call back and command them to come forth. Soon the circle began to glow, brighter and brighter until with a blinding flash all present had to shut their eyes or turn away. When it was safe to look, the twelve of them could see two shipgirls with auburn hair like Lusitania's standing in the center of the circle, one with her hair down in a hawser-like braid and a necklace of diamonds clear as ice, and the other with her hair done up in a tall bun almost like a beehive. "How dare you disturb our rest?" the latter protested, rounding on her onlookers (most of whom did not know her or her sister very well). "We demand an explanation this instant, you, you pestilential interlopers!"

Aquitania had to clear his throat, looking a bit awkward as he did so. "Ahem. Windsor, do you mind toning it down maybe? It would be difficult for us to explain while you're haranguing us you know." That got her attention in short order, and she turned to scrutinize him more closely. "Wh- how- _Aquitania_?!" she spluttered, immediately going red in the face as she realized her former WW2-era colleague was now a veritable Adonis. "I... no way! The Ship Beautiful, who served as troop transport alongside us?" the other shipgirl queried, herself more than a little lost regarding the whole situation.

"It's... sort of a long story" Gulp. Aquitania cleared his throat again, looking from one shipgirl to the other. "You might want to have a chat with the Admiral about this. We'd best bring you up to speed and then I'll introduce you to everyone else here."

~*~* ~~*~ ~**

"They summoned _who_?!" No less than four admirals were gathered in video conference over secure channels to discuss the matter: Admirals Collingwood of Scapa Flow, Graham of Portsmouth, Hartman of Wilhelmshaven, and Masson of Toulon. That so many of their ocean liners managed to pull off an unauthorized summoning right under their noses was reason enough for the emergency meeting, and Hartmann already suspected Kronprinz Wilhelm had some hand in the preparations. "Apparently, the ship that took fifteen hours to sink after being torpedoed, and her sister," Collingwood muttered, knocking back his sixth shot glass of whiskey with one hand still pressed to his temple. "Windsor Castle and Arundel Castle..."

"Those two? It seems oddly specific to be gunning for those two," Masson conceded, tenting her fingers with elbows on the table as she leaned forward. "Surely there were better summoning targets to choose from?" "Their excuse was letting them take charge of the route to Asia via Africa. But did you notice who our perpetrators happened to be?" Graham pressed, raising the list he'd drawn up - all the liners involved, with pics of their steel-hull days. "Spot the common thread, I dare you." For a while, there was silence as three pairs of eyes looked the list over, and then...

" _Mein Gott_." Comprehension slowly dawned on Admiral Hartmann's face, eyes widening in silent awe. "They actually did it, those absolute madmen, _and_ madwomen!" "Four-stackers," Masson whispered, a hand slowly shifting over her mouth. "You don't mean to say..." "As a matter of fact, I _do_ ," Graham answered grimly, "and no, none of us are dreaming or losing our marbles. Gentlemen- and lady- for the first time in history..." It was Collingwood who finished the sentence, reaching to refill his glass before making his solemn pronouncement. "They're all back. _All fourteen_ of the four-funnel ocean liners... they've all been summoned as shipfolk now."


	111. Rule 9044

_9044\. Please welcome a WWI shipgirl to Wilhelmshaven!  
9044a. "Hochseeflotte submarine U-20, ready to serve!"  
*In Southampton*  
"Lucy? What's wrong?" - Mauretania  
"To quote tha' space movie, ah feel a great disturbance in th' Force...ah presence I've no' felt since..." - Lusitania_

 **mendelevianDescendant said:**

 _9044b: "To quote that medieval romcom movie - my name is RMS Olympic. You sank my girlfriend. Prepare to die." - Olympic_

 _Wilhelmshaven, 3 August 20xx  
_  
Finally, a little peace, a little quiet for a change. Admiral Hartmann could thank his lucky stars perhaps, that just this once the mayhem endemic to other shipgirl bases was at a minimum level here in Wilhelmshaven. Granted, the base now had more coffee than logistics knew what to do with short of actually consuming it - chronic caffeine exposure was not something he wanted to give his personnel, let alone his entire fleet of _flottenmadchen_ \- and even the water in the harbor now had caffeine concentrations above background trace levels, but aside from this things were so far on the down low! Nothing getting blown up, or set on fire, or generally going haywire...

It was a rare state for a naval base of shipfolk, a Zen Mode, a metastable state that was bound to come crashing back to madness sooner or later. It was only a matter of time before the rule counter had to be cranked forward by one due to some incident or another, but for now the admiral could be content to take a long draught of his coffee, surveying the sea from his window before the door to his office was unceremoniously flung open. Ah yes. Back to the ground state with a release of energy.

There's a tired, husky sigh from Admiral Hartmann before he turns to face the intruder who had broken the brief illusion of quietude he had up til now been savoring. "Bismarck. I hope this does not have anything to do with the coffee influx of recent weeks?" he asked, setting his own coffee mug on the desk as he raised a brow at the formidable battleship who currently stood in his doorframe. " _Nein_ , it's nothing to do with that, although I have ideas now on how to best make use of the excess," she began. "We have had... I think it is best you see for yourself, we have gotten ourselves another _Unterseeboot_."

"Again? Well we could do well with more of them, though at the rate things in the Atlantic are progressing we may find more of them having to instead see action in the Arctic and the Pacific." More questions would follow however, en route to the summoning chamber. "Why the sudden haste in sending for me though? I am aware I must be present to greet the new summons but such urgency... Have you summoned one with an impressive kill count? Or one with a difficult attitude?" he added pointedly. It was uncommon, but not unheard of, for German shipgirls hailing from the era of WW2 to hold to, for want of a better word _problematic_ worldviews. What Aso had once been (and _danke Gott_ she was no longer of the sort) was by no means a one-off.

The response from the pride of the former Kriegsmarine was a little testy, no offense meant to Commandant Teste. "It's less of how _many_ she sunk and more of _who_ she sunk. Here, get her introduced," Bismarck said as she opened the door to the summoning room for her companion (and potential father-in-law). "At attention! I, Admiral Hartmann, will be your new commanding officer-" Trailing off in confusion at her familiar appearance, Hartmann would see the new summons spring to a salute immediately. "Hochseeflotte submarine, SM U-20, ready to serve!"

 _Ah_ , the admiral thought to himself, comprehension finally dawning. The predecessor by name to the Kriegsmarine's U-20, and the sub that had sunk the Lusitania... who had mistaken the later U-20 for the earlier U-20 when she had been summoned. _Oh great_. Rubbing his temples, Hartmann straightened up. "At ease. There is much ground to cover, events of intervening decades for you to catch up on," he began, gesturing for Bismarck to escort SM U-20 and follow him. "Not to mention someone who would not take your arrival well..."

~~ **~* *~

 _Southampton, that same day  
_  
There had been nothing out of the ordinary for the Cunard greyhounds, paying a visit to the city that had been their de facto home port in days gone by, when the elder of the two sisters suddenly stopped in her tracks, shuddering like she had just walked through a sudden curtain of cold water. "Lucy? What's wrong?" Mauretania's concern was understandable - for when Lusitania next spoke, it was with the Scottish accent that slipped out whenever she was particularly wound up.

"To quote tha' space movie, ah feel a great disturbance in th' Force...ah presence I've no' felt since..."

~~ ~*~ ~*~*

 _Scapa Flow, 4 August  
_  
Goodness, how things had changed since the Great War! After a long and thorough debriefing, during which she had been introduced to her Kriegsmarine successor and lookalike, SM U-20 still had trouble believing they were now working with their former enemies against a common eldritch threat. Nonetheless, she had taken it upon herself to pay the British fleet a visit, partly to have a look and see their naval strength, and partly to get to know her new allies ( _Gott_ that would take some getting used to). The subgirl slowly surfaced in the waters off Scapa Flow, and for a time after that she was seemingly well-received by the British shipgirls, who had by now mostly put the bygones of the past behind them.

On asking about her erstwhile famous victim however, there was a sort of reticence to direct her to meeting Lusitania - but not to be deterred, SM U-20 was soon spotted making her way to the liners' quarters. Unfortunately for her, the shipfolk who answered the door was a gruff-looking fellow who cleared six feet easily, and from the look in his eyes he was not at all pleased to see her. Time to make a good first impression. "Ahem. Is _Frau_ Lusitania available right now?" she began. "I would like to speak with her-" "I'm afraid that won't be permissible," the taller liner cut in, arms folded over his chest. "And why not? I mean her no harm, I only wish to have words with her!" SM U-20 gave him a searching gaze, asking him now: "Wait, _who_ are you exactly?"

"Allow me to make an introduction." Eyes would narrow at the nervous U-boat as the ocean liner spoke up, and quoted a movie while he was at it to boot. "To quote that medieval romcom movie - my name is RMS Olympic." The quiet growl in his voice warned of eminent displeasure - this sub was in seriously big trouble. "You sank my girlfriend." "Girlfriend? _Was_... you and Lusitania are together now?" SM U-20 couldn't be more confused, though confusion soon turned to outright terror as soon as the ocean liner unsheathed a gleaming bronze axe. " _Prepare to die._ " The U-boat screamed. Much mayhem and attempted violence then ensued.

"Aaaaiiiiieeeeee! _Scheiße scheiße scheiiiiiiße_ , let me explain myself!"

One lengthy chase scene, two misused torpedoes, and several mutual freakouts from Lusitania and SM U-20 later, Admiral Collingwood's office was now hosting a fairly white-as-a-sheet U-boat and a very, very shaky Lusitania, her sister and her boyfriend flanking her almost protectively. Collingwood had confiscated Olympic's axe and was now glaring disappointedly at the ocean liner (who was, while still looking pretty peeved, keeping his head down for the most part). " _Really_ now. While I admire the desire to protect Lusitania, there were better ways of doing it than chasing our guest with an axe - even if she looks like the other U-20 who traumatized our Lucky Lusi after her summoning, and even if she is the one who sank her back in 1915."

"Now you, madame." Collingwood turned to his submarine guest, raising a brow at her. "What made you think meeting your most famous victim would go without a hitch? It's a matter of record here that your actions are the reason she has difficulty sleeping at night-" "I just wanted to apologize!" SM U-20's words caught practically everyone off guard. Even Lusitania dared to look at her former killer, confusion etched on her face. "I... I'm sorry, _what?_ " "Look, I came here because I wanted to apologize for my actions," SM U-20 began, a mutinously stubborn look in her eyes as she rounded on Lusitania, until Mauretania stopped her coming closer with a hand. "Now that we're working together against these Abyssals, I figured it would be better if the air was clear between us, you know? I have to admit, I regretted sinking you - I couldn't have fired another torpedo..." Here she trailed off, chewing her lip, unsure what else she could say. "So... I'm sorry, for whatever that's worth."

Confused at the strange turn of events, the British admiral would settle back in his desk, looking out at the four of them with a sigh. "Well. That settles it then, I suppose. Lusi, your thoughts on the matter...?" Silence from the Cunarder, before she straightened up to look her killer in the eye. "I... I do not know if or when I can ever begin to think of you as a friend - I have hardly gotten over that afternoon even after all these years." Screwing up her courage, she shut her eyes, and let out a long, low exhale. "For now though... apology accepted, new ally." "Right. In the meantime," and here Collingwood turned to Olympic, pointing almost accusatorily at him. "You're going to make it up to our guest, show her around the place, get her acquainted with the fleet. And for heaven's sake _be nice_ to her for crying out loud!"


	112. Rule 9144

**Rule 9144: The 1924 Incident in New York is not to be mentioned around Olympic! He doesn't like to talk about it and his siblings will come after you if you upset him!  
**  
For Olympic it was a normal day. He'd just returned from a transatlantic convoy and was looking forward to a little R and R. Titanic was due in later this evening having taken another convoy through the Mediterranean. Something to look forward to as Olympic always enjoyed spending time with his famous little (younger Titanic liked to insist) brother. Olympic had learned from before how precious time could be. But the life of a kanmusu was always subject to the ever precious Murphy's Law. Olympic had seen more than his fair share in his old life and thus far it had mostly left him alone. He was overdue for a dose. And the dose appeared in the form of RMS Lucania. Lucania was one of the older Cunard liners, serving at near the same time as the old White Star flagship Oceanic. But where Oceanic was aggressive in her rivalry with Cunard, Lucania had more of a trolling style.

Even so, Olympic was polite as he greeted her. "What can I do for you madam?" He asked.

"You know how all kanmusu receive a history lesson after their summoning?" She began. Olympic nodded. The animosity of WW2 meant that ships on both sides needed thorough reminding that the conflicts they served in were over and their former enemies were allies. The same held true for WW1 vessels although probably not nearly as much for Lucania as she never saw either war, dying in 1908. Still, if she had questions and she was asking _him...  
_  
Warily, he eyed her. "What kind of questions do you have?" He asked.

"Well, I was reading up on your post war record. I noticed you had another collision in 1924 with uh, St. George I think her name was and I was curious..."

"NO!" Olympic exploded. He could tolerate people's lewd comments about U-103, mostly because said submarine often beat him to it in punishing the perpetrators. He could tolerate the comments about HMS Hawke, mostly because they were aimed at the cruiser rather than him. He could even tolerate the talk about the lightship he rammed. But he would not hear of _that incident!_

 _"I enjoy stern work, in bed..."_ The words of Kongo on the Anonymous Confessions board came back to him. It was just the sort of thing people would think. St. George, bless her, was easy on the eyes but not that easy.

"NO, IT WASN'T LIKE THAT! IT WAS AN ACCIDENT PERIOD!" He stormed off in a huff. "Uh, okay..." Lucania mumbled after him. Confused and a bit miffed that he was so short with her.

...

A few hours later, Olympic was still sulking in his room when Titanic walked in fresh off his stint in convoy duty.

"Ahhh, it's nice to be indoors and away from all those..." He paused when he saw his brother. "Hey bro, you alright?"

"Lucania was asking me about the St. George incident." Olympic replied.

"The St. George... oh!" Titanic blinked as he remembered. Olympic had _never_ shared much detail but the power of Google was legendary and Titanic had his ways. "She's a known troller Oly, ignore her." He said.

"Don't call me Oly. You know I hate that." Olympic managed a laugh.

"Fine then, Oly." Titanic half whispered, earning himself a shove from the older ship.

"Thanks bro." Olympic said.

"What are little brothers for?" Titanic winked. He would've gladly settled down and enjoyed the weekend with his brother but first, there was a certain Cunard liner he needed to have _words_ with!

...

Lucania was enjoying the comforts of the 21 century despite what she was currently playing on her TV. _The Love Boat_ was a classic of the 70s and better yet, it had been remade to include kanmusu. That Pacific Princess cut one fine figure, especially in those silk pants...

Her viewing was interrupted by an incessant knocking on the door. Grumbling dreadfully, Lucania paused her show, stood up and went to tear the door open. "What gives... oh."

"Oh." Was her staring up at a very much not amused RMS Titanic. He had deployed his rigging, fairies standing at the ready on his shoulders and arms with torches, spades, shovels etc in hand.

"Lucania," His voice was as cold as the North Atlantic. "You have upset my brother." He cracked his knuckles with each word and Lucania gulped, lighting up all possible boilers in a vain attempt to escape. "Prepare to _suffer!"  
_  
He closed the door and moments later the screams started.

...

2 days later, Titanic and Britannic stood in front of Admiral Holloway who was glowering across his desk at the two brothers. Next to them and planted up against the wall rocking back and forth while muttering things incoherantly was Lucania.

"I say again," began the Admiral who was not amused. "What were you two _thinking?!"  
_  
Britannic had the grace to look at least a little bit sheepish. As a doctor it went against his morals to harm a patient but in this case...

"She upset our brother sir!" Titanic spoke for the both of them.

Holloway sighed, looking longingly at his liquor cabinet and thinking how he was going to indulge once they had left his office. "Just go. I'll deal with punishments later." He nodded to Lucania's prone form. "Take her to Wisconsin and tell her to hook her up with the most disgustingly Japanese slice of anime she's got!"

"Will do Admiral!" Holloway tried to ignore the enthusiastic tone in Britannic's voice in favor of pouring himself a glass of fine scotch. Sometimes, he hated his life!

...

Later, all three brothers were together in Olympic's room. Olympic was both touched that his brothers had gone to the wall for him. But slightly annoyed they had gotten into trouble for it.

"Thank you both." He said.

"You're our big brother."

"No one hurts our big brother."

Olympic smiled. "So what did you two _do_ to Lucania anyways?" He asked.

Titanic and Britannic exchanged glances. Titanic's culinary skills and Britannic's needles made for one potent combination.

"Well..." The elder began.

"It's best that you not know." Britannic concluded.


	113. Rule 7101

_7101: Yes the USS Constitution is turning 220 years old soon. Yes she can still kick your ass. No you may not call her Granny.  
7101a: ___WHO VIOLATED THESE RULES? WAS IT A BRIT? I BET IT WAS A BRIT! - USS Iowa__ _  
7101b: Worryingly for my blood pressure, the USS Constitution has left port after having a conversation with some modern British and French warships. She left a note. "Going for a walk." You may panic now.  
7101c: Do not ask the USS Constitution why she now has a small fleet of Abyssal destroyers and a princess. Or why they are all wearing 1800's naval uniforms with American Flag bandanas. She has already told us the answer.  
7101d: ___"Because they said I couldn't fight for shit! WELL GUESS WHO JUST CAPTURED A SMALL FLEET FOR THE GOOD OLD US OF A?" - USS Constitution, "Old Ironsides" and self proclaimed queen bitch of the sailshipgirls.__

 **konnigvanmessen said:**

 _7101e: While we appreciate the defectors, the British sailing ships are starting to take exception to that._

Norfolk Naval Base

November 21, 2017

"Happy birthday, Connie!"

The old frigate started and nearly summoned her rigging at the sudden shout, but she tamped down that reaction when she realized that the shout was for joy rather than alarm. When her nerves calmed, she turned to see practically every single one of the shipgirls stationed at the base filling the corridor behind her, sans those who were currently sortied. The Iowa sisters (sans Iowa, herself) were at the front and Wisconsin, specifically, in front of everyone else holding a cake before her.

"Aw, you did not have to-"

"But we wanted to. This is a big milestone for you, girl."

A tear came to the old frigate's eye, and she brushed it away, futily trying to disguise the act as brushing a stray lock of gray hair from her temple back behind her ear. "Thank you. Thank you, everyone."

"That's better." New Jersey turned to the assembled crowd. "Let's head to the mess, where Connie can enjoy this, properly."

When they arrived at the mess hall, one of the Fletcher or Gearing destroyers (Honestly, there were so many that Constitution couldn't keep track of them all.) produced a lighter and lit the candles on the cake, three of the "number" variety that spelled out the number of years since USS Constitution's commissioning: 220.

"I… I honestly don't know what to say, girls, but thank you, again. Thank you."

Wisconsin patted her on the shoulder. "Hey. You're one of the original six. You're practically the mother of us all."

The tears of joy flowed freely, this time. "You all know how to warm a woman's heart. I feel so gay at this moment, surrounded by such love."

At that moment, two visiting foreign ships walked by. HMS Hawke, a never-completed Minotaur-class light cruiser, looked over at the group and scoffed. "220 years old? Why's a granny like you at this base? Shouldn't you be in a retirement home, somewhere?"

Before any of the American ships could admonish the British ship, her companion, MN Clemenceau, a similarly incomplete Richelieu-class battleship, spoke up. "Honestly, it's shameful keeping such a relic in service. Even your Indefatigable and our Droits de l'Homme have modernized themselves to stay relevant. But Constitution? Nothing." The Frenchwoman scoffed as she walked away.

"I know, right? She can't fight for shit, anymore," Hawke agreed as she joined the other European.

As the vast majority of the Americans broke off to mete out some much-deserved justice to the pair, USS Savannah and Wisky stayed to comfort the slighted shipgirl. "It's al-"

But that was as far as their consolation got.

"'Granny?'" The frigate twitched. "'Can't fight for shit, anymore?'" Another twitch, and then she stood up sharply enough to rip the cafeteria bench from its mounting, a dark aura swirling around her body. The cruiser and battleship took an involuntary step back as they watched Old Ironsides* manifest. Constitution took a deep breath, and the aura dissipated, at least externally. When she opened her eyes, the younger, heavier ships shuddered as they saw that aura swirling behind those eyes and the dissonantly serene smile plastered on her face. "If you will excuse me, I am going for a walk. Be back in a jiffy."

Savannah and Wisconsin stared after the frigate's retreating form as she walked out of the building. After she left, the cruiser spoke. "Should we… try to stop her?"

The battleship barked a mirthless laugh. "Not a snowball's chance in hell that we **could** stop her."

Savannah nodded. "I thought as much."

Approximately 100 miles off the East Coast of the United States

It was quite a rarity to see an Abyssal Princess outside of home territories, but the Destroyer Princess (Seventh of Her Line; May the others rest in peace.) often had a need to get away from the inanity some of the other Abyssals could get up to. When those urges would arise, she would pester the Volcanic Ridge Princess for permission to join the next convoy heading out of Iceland. Every time, Ridge would grudgingly acquiesce to her request, but not without issuing her a substantial bodyguard unit.

This time, said bodyguards were a Re-class aviation battleship and a Nu-class light carrier, on top of the Destroyer Princess' normal retinue of half a dozen elite, late-model, Na-class destroyers. Complete overkill against anything other than a premeditated assault by every kanmusu on the entire East Coast of the U.S., but Ridge had insisted.

She was brought out of her reverie by the Re tapping her on the shoulder. Once she had the Destroyer Princess' attention, the battleship pointed toward the human territory, from the direction of which a single shipgirl was sailing toward them.

"Just the one?"

"Yes."

"...Truly no signs of any others? Not even submarines?"

"Not a one."

The Destroyer Princess considered the situation for a moment before shrugging. "Eh, her funeral. Re, you have permission to blat her out of existence the instant she's in range."

The small aviation battleship rubbed her hands together. "With pleasure." She contracted her tail, causing the various runway segments to solidify into a solid airstrip, down which half a dozen planes slid before the tip angled upward to catapult them into the air.

Now, they only had to wait for the fireworks.

The ones the Abyssals got weren't the ones they expected.

From the shipgirl's rigging came the discharge of sixty two cannons. Their accuracy was truly unimagineable to the Abyssal Princess, as they detonated precisely where they needed to to knock all of the planes out of the air. Not one managed to drop its payload. Through it all, the shipgirl did not drop her speed.

At this point, more of her form became distinct, allowing the Destroyer Princess to determine that she was, of all things, one of the sail-ships. After a moment of abject shock, the Re-class swung her tail around and opened fire with her six primary and three secondary guns.

No one expected the result. The volley, all armor-piercing, simply… bounced off her hull. A second volley, this one high-explosive, wreathed her in flames and smoke, but she sailed out of it scorched, but otherwise completely unscathed.

Now, the Re growled, both her humanoid and tail jaws gnashing their teeth. "That's it! I'm gonna tear her apart!" The Abyssal battleship steamed off at full speed.

The shipgirl was close enough, now, for details of her form to become visible. Brown hair going grey at the temples, lines of age on her face, rigging painted a resplendent black with a white stripe along the sides and a red keel, and the early 19th-century naval officer's uniform adorned with decorations. The Princess's eyes widenend as she recognized the shipgirl, and, more importantly, the aura surrounding her. "Wait-!"

The warning came too late. With a roar, the Re-class's tail surged forward, only to be caught by the fist of Old Ironsides. An attempted punch by the Re's main body slipped under the shipgirl's armpit, where her arm pinned the limb and yanked upward, shattering the bones in the Abyssal's arm. The battleship's scream ceased for a moment as she was punched to the water's surface by Constitution, who ignored the tail's continued attempts to bite her. The Destroyer Princess gulped as she saw the old frigate's expression, a placid smile that was entirely out of place.

Before the Re could push herself upright, Old Ironsides stepped onto her back, gripped the base of her tail, and _pulled_. With a series of sickening wet snaps and a small geyser of ichor, the appendage was ripped free, but the shipgirl wasn't done. Uncaring for the crippled Abyssal's mixed screams and whimpers and cries, she swung the now-limp tail into the air and brought it down on its former master. With each blow, the tempo of the swings increased until the turrets at the tail's mouth were reduced to mangled scrap metal, and the Re-class's main body was broken, battered, and sinking.

Still brandishing her improvised flail, Constitution resumed her course, reaching speeds no sailing ship had any right to. The Destroyer Princess's Nu-class escort launched all of its planes, but they met the same fate as the Re's. A second volley planted dozens of explosive shells in the Nu's hangar bay, where they assisted the aviation fuel and munitions in turning the light carrier into a shredded bonfire.

Her destroyers hurled themselves forward, launching torpedoes and firing their guns with reckless abandon, but Old Ironsides treated them the same as daylight in an Icelandic winter: nonexistent. Return volleys of solid shot battered them to the brink of unconsciousness.

Desperately, the Princess threw herself into hard reverse, opening fire with everything she had, but it was not enough. In moments, the older ship was upon her and knocked her down with a single blow from the Re's tail. A boot with a wooden rudder-shaped heel planted itself on her chest, and Constitution leaned down. "You will be coming with me." She looked around. "All of you."

"That bitch!"

Droits de l'Homme winced at Indefatigable's outburst. It was never a good thing when that happened. She looked over, where the third rate was clenching what looked like an after-action report. "Who are you talking about?"

"Constitution!" She slammed down the paper. "She captured an entire Abyssal fleet! By herself! We need to step up our game and show that _we're_ the queen bitches of the sail-ships, not her!"

Droits de l'Homme could only rest her face in her palm and shake her head.


	114. Rule 9063

_9063\. Whoever started telling new summons that whenever the base loudspeakers play Marvin Gaye's "Let's Get It On", it means Kongo and Admiral Goto are having 'private time' in his office - and then piping it through the loudspeaker every two hours - is in TROUBLE.  
9063a. "I actually got applauded when I went to the commissary for lunch today...weird." - Admiral Goto  
9063b. "K-Kongo-san...the stamina of a fast battleship is truly impressive!" - a blushing Fubuki  
9063c. "Dess! ___Arigato__ _, Bucky!" - Kongo, accepting the compliment though she has no idea what it's for_

 _Yokosuka, Japan - Early morning  
_  
There's silence on the PA system, before a quiet crackling of old vinyl about to play, and then the slow languid opening bars of a rather risqué track. ' _I've been really trying baby, trying to hold back this feeling for so long..._ ' For what had to be the thirty-seventh time in the last three or four days, Marvin Gaye's slow-dance masterpiece found itself being piped through the speakers for every ship girl in Yokosuka to hear, and while the fact that it was playing at two-hour intervals was unusual enough, it shouldn't have given rise to the kind of word-of-mouth slowly filtering through the kanmusu population stationed there.

"Goodness, they're going at it again now aren't they?" Houshou let out a longsuffering sigh, pinching the bridge of her nose as she looked up at the window of Admiral Goto's office. "He's going to land himself in the hospital at this rate..." "Eh? What do you mean by that?" Evidently Fubuki had not gotten word of the speculations trickling down Yokosuka's metaphorical grapevine, and Houshou looked distinctly uncomfortable as the destroyer who was also Goto's second in command (next to the secretary ship) made her way towards the mother of all carriers, a confused expression on her face. "Ah, it's... it's nothing to concern yourself with Fubuki. Just something I heard from somebody else..."

"Huh. I must have missed out on the memo for some reason or another. What exactly did you hear, Houshou-sama?" A raised brow quirked in the carrier's direction, and Houshou looked like she was trying to hold something in - something that might not be suitable for destroyers' ears - before she finally spoke up. "It was two days ago, when I was passing by the summoning chamber. Have you been introduced to that new batch of kanmusu we had at the time?" Fubuki shook her head. "Not yet, no." "Well, suffice to say," Houshou began, "that I overheard one of the cruisers explaining what that song meant during their debriefing. It seems to be the new song that plays whenever Kongou and Admiral Goto decide to have some... time alone with each other."

For a moment there was only confused silence, a befuddled expression on Fubuki's face. Then the realization hit her like an artillery shell and she went red as a cherry faster than Iowa could say 'Oh my God'. "So that means..." The so-called mother of modern destroyers (though she preferred not to think of herself that way thanks to Captain Admiral Darren's trolling tendencies from months/years prior) covered her mouth as she looked up to the window of Admiral Goto's office, trying quite hard to exorcise the mental image that threatened to invade her mind's eye. "Every two hours? Such... such endurance from the admiral!"

 _Mid-morning_

As it so happened, Kongou was later sighted leaving Goto's office within a half hour of another loop of Let's Get It On, fresh from a briefing on future operations slated for the coming September. "Kongou-san! Incredible!" "Wh-" A very confused fast battleship was met with the sight of Fubuki hurtling down the hallway towards her, awed admiration in her eyes as she skidded to a halt in front of Kongou... and then bowed, much to the latter's incredulity. "K-Kongou-san..." Why was Fubuki - was she _blushing_? "The stamina of a fast battleship... it's truly impressive!" Confused and not being quite sure what she was being complimented for, Kongou at least had the presence of mind to take it with the good grace of her English heritage. "Dess! _Arigato_ , Bucky!"

 _Noon_

Admiral Goto, it had to be said, was of significantly sterner stuff than was commonly assumed. Being the first of his colleagues to command a fleet of shipgirls meant he'd been dealing with their antics the longest, and while this meant his days were usually more stressful than not, and that his sanity was oftentimes frayed and his nerves frequently frazzled, it also made him relatively resistant to going absolutely bonkers the way Colombo and Briggs had done. That still didn't prepare him for the surprise of being greeted with a sitting ovation from his shipgirls when he went to the commissary for lunch, and Goto couldn't help but feel a rush of affection for his crazy (but usually well-meaning) fleet in the wake of this seeming outburst of admiral appreciation, unusual though it was.

And then Akebono spoke up. "You shitty admiral! How are your fragile geezer hips not shattered by now like the time Kongou-san thought you were going to get replaced?" Goto's response was a flat "What", eyes turning to the destroyer famed for cussing him out. "You heard me! Or have your ears become so shitty from all the daytime _yasen_ you get up to in your office?" "Daytime ya- what no, no that's not what I spend my time in my office doing." The Admiral's brows furrowed, eyes narrowing as his gaze swept the mess hall. "Where exactly did you hear that from?"

As soon as he was informed of the rumor, the color of Goto's face settled somewhere between vanilla and strawberry pudding, and he called his secretary ship over to have a hushed conversation with her. "Ooyodo-san. Whoever started this rumor, I want them found _today_ , before the whole fleet starts thinking I'm some sort of addicted satyriastic stallion."

 _Evening_

"Haaaaa, I thought they'd never stop..." After the lengthy process of tracking down the perpetrator and rounding up all the new summons to correct the wrong impression of the admiral said rumor had given them, Goto was looking forward to what rest he could get in his quarters that night. The trouble was, when he opened the door, there was someone else in his room.

"Hey, teitoku~" That sentence was punctuated by the admiral shutting the door behind him. Whether it was her mastery over the in-between space or her use of the vents as passageways, Kongou was currently lying on Goto's bed, dressed in a salacious manner that shall remain undescribed for reasons, with a sultry look on her face and a record player on the bedside table. "...You found out about the gossip too didn't you?" the admiral asked, a foreboding feeling that he knew where this was going. And then the record player began to play _that_ song, and this time, it was Kongou singing.

" _I've been really trying baby... trying to hold back this feeling for so long..._ " Was it her attempt to romance him for the night or her way of consoling him for the stress those insinuations had caused him? Either way, Admiral Goto was smitten - that she had gone to such lengths to lighten up the end of his day was immensely endearing to him. Making sure the door was locked before advancing on his beloved battleship, he thought to himself, _Just this once, I think I can let the rumors be true._


	115. Rule 9253

_9253\. The list of things it is wrong to tell new summons now includes the following:  
9253a. "Though your new body __**looks**_ _ _human, it doesn't have the same biological needs, like eating, sleeping, or using the bathroom. Just drink oil/eat coal when you need to top off your fuel tanks, and you'll be fine."  
9253b. "You can win the Admiral's heart by beating their current love in single combat." (To whoever started this one, you're damn lucky that no one's tried this, yet.)__

 _9254\. The Interservice Fairy Marine Games are hereby canceled until a fairer system can be put into practice._  
 _9254a. Yes, this is indeed related to the fact that the Clan shipgirls' Elementals swept the "Ship Boarding" competition and UNSC Infinity's Spartans swept everything else._

 _9255\. For all of you shipgirls who recently discovered the Elder Scrolls series,_

 _dragon!Temeraire_ _is not a Dovah. She does not know how to wield the Thu'um.  
9255a. Nor does she have a compulsion to dominate everything around her.  
9255b. The same applies to __Ning Hai's dragon form_ _ _.__

 _9256\. No, the Lion-class battleship girls (both iterations of them) do not "camp at the limit of their gun range and rain HE spam on the Abyssals while their allies charge in and get killed." They get stuck in just like everyone else._

 _7086: There is a real bad reason why there is no longer a Spring of Drowned Girl at Jusenkyo. But you will need the consent of Both Europe's and Japan's Magic Association's, Hellsing, Belldandy, Urd and Skuld, The Charmed Ones, and Cologne of the Joketsuzoku tribe to find out. But do not ask Ranma Saotome about it he still has issues about nearly being trapped as a slayer for the rest of his life._

From the Europe's and Japan's Magic Association's, Hellsing, Belldandy, Urd and Skuld, The Charmed Ones, and Cologne of the Joketsuzoku tribe To the Raven (Black Ops Commander), the ship girls who were at Jusenkyo and the Admiral's.

For those who have been cursed and want a Cure you no longer cannot get one. It is a long story even the brown notes version is very long so here we go.

It started a year after the events in Sunnydale it was before the wedding that the fathers had set up that Ranma started having the Slayer Dreams. He ignored them thinking that they were just nightmares but, in the weeks, leading up to the wedding the nightmares got worse.

Until after being splashed with water he could not change back, thinking that the amazons had done something to him he went after them but after hearing what had happened Cologne promptly had Mousse restrain her and contacted both of Japan's Magic Association who in turn contacted the Magic Associations of Europe trying to find out what is going on. It was then that the restaurant was attacked by slayers that were "working" for Iscariot.

Thus, the group fled and were found by Skuld who was looking for a new Computer thus she took them to the temple and her sisters who after finding out what happened to Ranma told them about the spell. After looking thru a few spells they realised that to properly save Ranma they would not only have to go back and restore the Springs in China but remove the slayer spell before things get worse.

The Charmed Ones are called up with the hope that they can counter act Willow's Spell with the Goddess's help thus the group goes China on the Way they face Japan's Slayers and Iscariot.

When they reach China, they run in to Herb who is suffering like Ranma thus he joins the team.

Meanwhile Ranma meets Twilight and the two fight and are interpreted by Enrico Maxwell sent to get Ranma who gets away with help from Hellsing.

The team makes it to Jusenkyo to the spell, but Buffy show up not knowing why they are doing this. And all hell breaks loose with Amazon vs Slayers vs Iscariot Vs Hellsing.

During the battle Ranma beats Buffy and Slays Angel as Twilight and is cured by the work of the Charmed Ones and the Goddess's. Herb is also cured, and Twilight's forces are destroyed.

The Scoobys are put on probation, the slayers that are criminal are stopped and their powers removed. And those who are no longer wanting to be slayers also have their powers removed.

Ranma and Herb are taken to a place to heal mentally and physically and any Arranged Marriages will be stopped for now.

And the spring of drowned girl is sealed off for safety fearing that new slayers could be made. For more info please talk to the people involed


	116. Rule 8646

**Rule 8646: Do not anger the monitors. They may be small, but they punch leagues above their weight!**

Tahiti Beach, Saint-Tropez, France

June 6, 2018

It was well-documented that the French were becoming the masters of bouncing back and returning to business as usual after foreign occupation. The Hundred Years' War, World War I, World War II, and now the early parts of the Abyssal War had all proven that.

In the opening years of the Abyssal War, the French Riviera had been invaded and occupied by the eldritch warships. When the first kanmusu had appeared in Japan, the French stopped throwing men and ships at the Abyssals, opting to bid their time until their own shipgirls arrived. And arrive, they did.

Provence and Paris were the first, the two battleships immediately going to work liberating the Côte d'Azur region, freeing France's southern ports and allowing the use of Toulon Naval Base for future French shipgirl operations. Within a year, the entirety of France's Mediterranean coastline had been reclaimed for humanity.

That had been less than five years ago. Already, the tourist industry was almost back up to its pre-War levels. And some eyes were following one girl who was taking advantage of it.

While foreigners were not an uncommon sight on Tahiti Beach, the fact that she was wearing a 1940s-style one-piece navy-blue swimsuit was on the "clothing optional" beach. People who were charitable would consider her stocky or big-boned. Those who weren't might say that she was pudgy or at least overweight. Finally, the raging arseholes would call her fat. She'd heard all of these terms before, and they didn't bother her.

The closest things to identifiers she had exposed on her person were the Royal Navy insignia one one breast of her suit, a name patch reading "Wolfe" on the other, and a "I hit a target further away than anyone else" tattoo on her right shoulder.

She wore a wide-brimmed sun hat, dark sunglasses, and carried a beach umbrella with her as she sought out a place that wasn't too crowded on the beach.

As she set her imbrella in place, a twinge of pain rippled through her right shoulder. The specialized gun she carried was a bitch and a half to use, but the results were plenty worth it. Dealing with the shenanigans of the Royal Navy shipgirls? Not so much. Fortunately, after her latest liason duty with Admiral Masson in Toulon, the Admiral had granted her leave request and Masson had arranged for her to take a vacation on the beaches of the French Riviera. A vacation that Wolfe was all-too keen to take full advantage of.

She laid down on her back and rested her head on her hands, intending to make the most of today's sunny and clear weather. Then the screams started.

At first, she desperately tried to rationalize them away as the yells of children playing, but when that proved impossible, she hoped that it was a local incident that the police could deal with.

It was not to be.

"Abyssals!"

With a groaning sigh, she sat up and looked down the beach. As she had feared from the cry, a group of more than half a dozen Abyssals emerged from the shallows. Three Tsu-class light cruisers, one of then an Elite, and a few destroyers stepped and slithered onto the beach. If the lack of appropriate markings wasn't a big enough clue that these weren't Allied, the fact that they raised their guns to fire on the civilians was.

"Why won't my life go smoothly? Why won't it ever go smooth?" Resigning herself to her ruined vacation, the Royal Navy monitor HMS General Wolfe stood and summoned her rigging. Stepping toward the water, she hollered through a directed radio broadcast, "Oi, you gits! You're ruining my vacation! Why don't you scarper off and I won't pound up the lot o' ya like I did to Snaeskerke!"

They replied by directing their weapons at her.

"Don't say I di'n't warn ya!" She aimed her primary turret at the cruisers and fired. Shells from the twin twelve-inch guns ripped through the hull of one of the Tsus, leaving a gaping wound in the gut.

While she waited for the reload, she began backing away to open up the range and angled her armor to weather the return fire from their five-inch guns. She thanked whatever lucky stars she had that there weren't any heavy cruisers amongst the Abyssals. Then her gun chief let her know that her bombardment cannon was loaded, and with a minimum charge, at that, which meant that the Abyssals wouldn't be overshot.

With a savage grin, the old monitor lined up the big gun and opened fire. Her bombardment cannon was nearly unique; only her sister, Lord Clive, mounted one like it. The BL 18" Naval Gun Mark I was the largest ever fitted to a British warship, the longest-ranged, and the most powerful. With it, in the Great War, General Wolfe had scored more than twenty six hits at a range of 33 klicks. Against these Abyssals, at a range of two klicks? Childs' play. With a gout of flame eighteen meters long, the first shell erupted out of the barrel. When the 8 crh HE shell landed, the wounded cruiser and one other simply vanished in the fireball. The recoil clawed at her shoulder, but it was a good pain.

"Heh. Still got it." Then the remaining cruiser charged, the destroyers hot on its tail. "Aw, crap." Her 12" guns discharged, again, but the cruiser had angled her armor to bounce the old, obsolete shells. "Damn it." There was no way she would escape; her armor may have been as thick as a heavy cruiser's, and her firepower was equal to a battleship's, but her speed was the trade-off, only able to manage 8 knots on a good day.

"Die, foolish surfacer!" the cruiser yelled as she grabbed and threw one of her torpedoes, a prudent choice as her guns weren't working.

"Ah!" General Wolfe quickly turned to take the warhead on her broad torpedo bulge. It detonated, but did no major damage. "F*** it. Overriding safeties." She ripped out the gun stop from her rear casemate, allowing the depression of her 18" gun to well below the 22-degree minimum imposed by her designers. Gritting her teeth against the pain she knew would come, she fired the massive weapon.

Recoil she was never designed to take ripped the gun's mounting right off her rigging, along with a fair portion of said rigging, snapping her right shoulder like a twig. The results, however, she considered worth it.

A 4 crh AP shell leapt from the barrel and surged toward the Abyssals, whose pursuit had managed to line themselves up rather conveniently. The cruiser simply exploded, her abdomen disappearing in a cloud of shredded metal and parting ways from her legs. The massive projectile continued on, drilling through most of the destroyers. There were only one or two survivors.

"S***." Fighting through the pain, General Wolfe forced herself back to her feet, noting that most of the armor on her starboard side, and all of it on her starboard aft, was compromised by the sheer recoil of the horizontal firing of the big gun. The jostling of her arm sent a greater lance of pain up her arm, and she screamed, her vision blurring. Trying to minimize her movements, she raised her 12" twin turret into line with the last destroyers as best she could, which was only made worse as her unangled hull was perforated by shells from the Abyssals. "Please… let me… get off… one more shot." She fired, and her world turned into black agony.

HMS General Wolf awoke later in a repair bath, the unique multi-colored hair of Commandante Teste hovering in her gradually sharpening vision. "Guh…"

"Took you long enough to get up, you crazy Brit."

"What… happened?" the monitor managed to croak.

The seaplane tender, who functioned as Toulon's resident repair ship due to France's lack of one, handed her a glass of water, which General Wolfe drank down greedily. "'What happened' is that you decided to take on an entire Abyssal fleet, alone. You're damn lucky you're alive, right now."

The memories flooded back. "That… last DD…"

"You missed. Thankfully, L'Indomptable was close enough to arrive and bail your ass out by destroying that Abyssal destroyer.

Wolfe sank lower in the healing water. "I just wanted a vacation…"

Yokosuka Naval Base, Japan

June 5, 2018

Nagato stared at the new arrival to Yokosuka. She was, apparently, the new liason to the Royal Navy. A little under five feet tall, pudgy, and frankly cute as a button. There was a slight flicker around the battleship as Nagamon was aroused by the sight, although Hoppou and the destroyers were cuter, overall.

Straightening herself to do her duty, she stepped forward to welcome the shipgirl to the base. "I am battleship Nagato, third in command here at Fleet Activities, Yokosuka. I apologize that Admirals Goto and Fubuki were too busy to greet you, themselves. If you'll follow me, I'll lead you to your quarters." She offered her hand.

The smaller shipgirl accepted the handshake. "HMS Erebus, Royal Navy monitor." She pulled Nagato close with surprising strength. "By the by, I've heard of you, Nagato, and your… biggest personality quirk. If you try to cuddle me, it won't end well for you." The battleship felt something cold press into her gut. "Clear?"

Nagato looked down to see that Erebus had summoned her rigging, two fifteen-inch guns in a twin turret wrapped around her arm and the reason for the cold touch. "Crystal."

The monitor-girl's attitude underwent an immediate 180. "Good." She dismissed her rigging. "Now that that's out of the way, lead on."


	117. Rule 9339

_Rule courtesy of Falkeno!_

 **Rule 9339. No breaking the Music system just to get the band, now officially known as 'The Harland & Wolffers' to perform.  
**  
As any admiral knew, bored shipgirls meant trouble, and in the case of Scapa Flow, where long periods of downtime between convoy runs was a frequent occurrence, boredom was a significant issue, however in an effort to fix this issue before it became a problem, Admiral Collingwood had allowed for music to be played across the base during the day, which had so far meant that bored fueled shenanigans were a rarity. Unfortunately for the Admiral, one day the system refused to play any music properly, with any attempts leading to garbled and warped noises coming from the speakers, the issue itself was quickly identified as the computer that was responsible for storing, automating, randomizing and playing the music was broken beyond repair, this however presented another issue as replacing the computer, and all of its specialized programmings and vast music collection would take about a month simply due to all of the reinstalling needed, and with most of Scapa's girls on downtime due to a massive arctic storm closing the Arctic convoy route, things were going to get out of hand quickly, fortunately the White star liners had offered they're services, as whilst the system was totalled, it had used the old PA system to broadcast the music, and that still could be used to play live music, problem solved then, or so everyone thought.

"Ok that's it, will someone tell them to play something from this fucking century! otherwise, I'm going to lose it!" Jamaica angrily shouted to be heard above the sounds of Violin's, a piano and a double bass, followed by choruses of agreement, the problem with having pre-ww1 and interwar vintage liners providing music, was that their taste and variety of instruments they could play was rather dated, and after nearly two days of this racket, almost all of Scapa Flows shipgirls had had enough, the sole exception to this was ironically Belfast, who was, barring mentions of her mining incident, actually the hardest person to annoy, nobody knew this however as every shipgirl who knew about her past, either tended to walk on eggshells around her for fear of setting her off or tried to limit their interactions with her; this however, meant she the only one who wasn't blinded by anger, and so she could see exactly where this was heading, fortunately, she also knew a way to prevent the impending riot, unfortunately, it would mean revealing something about herself in the process.

"Hey I gonna dive out for a bit, I'll see you all later" Belfast announced as she stood up to leave, receiving a few grunts in reply; quickly she made her way to her room, she had to pick something up before she went over to speak with the liners.

"Ok guys whats next?" Britannic asked flexing his fingers "Maybe Alexander's Ragtime Band?" as the other three liners in their impromptu band checked reached for bottles of water, they had decided to take a break after the hours of constant playing.

"Mmh, We only played it a few days ago, but it is a really good song" Olympic replied as he checked the strings on his double bass, "What do you two think?" he added to the Titanic's, both male and female who were both playing the violins.

"I agree that we only played it recently, but they love anything we play so they won't notice" Female Titanic answered as her male counterpart nodded in agreement.

"If by 'love' you mean planning to beat the crap out of with rusty pipes, then you have a strange view in that department!" Belfast announced as she entered, causing the group to jump in surprise, "Guys the music you've been playing, whilst it is being played well, nobody can stand it anymore; luckily for you though, I can help you guys out" she explained as she revealed the bag she was carrying.

"Well unless you have 'proper' band in there I don't see how you can help us!" Male Titanic replied with a hint of annoyance in his voice, no doubt due to being told what everyone else thought of their music, only for the liners to be confused when Belfast removed a guitar from the bag, "erm, sorry Bel, but none of us can play that" He pointed out, clearly Belfast didn't know what instruments the liners could play, Belfast however simply smirked as she placed the strap around her neck.

"Yeah, well I can, I'm sort of self-taught actually" Belfast explained, not sounding exactly confident, as she began to tune the instrument, getting some concerned glances from the liners, to them being self-taught wasn't a good thing, to them the ability to play an instrument well was something which had to be taught by a professional.

"Erm, maybe you shouldn't, I mean you don't want to embarrass your-" Olympic began, only to be interrupted by Belfast.

"Look Oly! I don't want to do this either, but its a choice between this or a riot, now just plug this in, ok?" Belfast broke in, handing the liner a cable and gesturing at a plug socket, sighing Olympic did as he was asked, silently wondering just how badly this was going to backfire.

Admiral Collingwood wasn't a happy man, with the music system broken and the liners blaring out classical music, which whilst good had pissed everyone off, and as he heard the system crackle to life, he instinctively grabbed a bottle of scotch and poured himself a glass to prepare himself for the barrage of swearing, only to stop just as the glass touched his lips as he heard the strum of guitar strings, he'd heard that composition somewhere before, and then just as the tone changed, he realised it that it was the guitar only cover Metalica's enter the Sandman, at first he thought that one of the liners had either gotten ambitious, or had realised that the entire base wanted their heads, and was trying to work out exactly it was playing, as by some miracle they were playing the song perfectly, and then the singing started, causing him to almost choke on the liquid that had entered his mouth, of all the voices he'd expected to hear, he hadn't expected it to be Belfast's distinctive voice, singing perfectly in-tune with the music; and finally when the song ended he found himself applauding, and by the sound of cheering, he wasn't the only one who was impressed.

The white star liners were in shock, none of them had expected Belfast to play that well, they had expected mistakes and off-key notes, not the performance she'd just put on, finally though the click of the microphones deactivating, prompting Brittanic from his stupor.

"What the fuck! I thought you were self-taught!" Brittanic shouted, causing Belfast to jump, in her focus she'd forgot that the liners were there with her.

"I am, just I have a few decades worth of practice" Belfast explained, turning to face the liners, finding both Titanics standing open-mouthed, Olympic on his phone, searching for nearest instrument shop, Britannic glancing at his electric keyboard, the only one he'd been able to get on short notice.

"Ok, one other thing, do you know any songs with any of these in them?" Brittanic asked gesturing at their instruments, prompting Belfast to quickly think about some songs, a sly grin as a certain band came to mind.

"Actually I do, have any of you heard of a band called ELO?" Belfast answered as she pulled out her phone to play some of her favourite tracks by ELO, or the Electric Light Orchestra, to give them their full name.


	118. Rule 9339 Cont

_An undisclosed period of time later  
_  
"I have to admit, we misjudged you and the more recent developments in the music scene," Olympic muttered ruefully, still not quite at ease with himself over his (and his siblings') initial suspicions over Belfast and her music. "Some of this newer stuff is actually pretty damn catchy enough to get stuck in my head! Even if the rest of it leaves... much to be desired." Then again, one couldn't really blame the liners for being concerned - their first taste of modern music had been... off-putting and jarring, to put it mildly. The perpetrators were lucky SS France had not been there - old soul that she was, she would have taken even less kindly to the likes of Blurred Lines and Like A Virgin.

"Don't sweat it. You guys just needed a _lot_ of catching up to do," Belfast replied, dismissing it with a handwave as she finished up in tuning her guitar. After her breakout performance at Scapa Flow, the Olympic-class shipfolk had in their spare time taken it upon themselves to revisit the music scene from the '60s to the present date, and now had decided to get together with Belfast and two more of their fellow White Star liners to show their collective chops at a benefit concert. The 'Harland & Wolffers', as they ended up being called, would be performing to raise support for the fleet among the general public, as well as raise morale overall as well.

Belfast, for her part, voiced her thoughts on the matter as she tuned her guitar. "I still can't believe you're even roping me into this. Remember? I didn't want to perform back then and only did it to give everyone else a break from your dated taste in music?" That earned a snort and a laugh from MV Britannic, while her taller hospital ship predecessor rolled his eyes at the implication and went to check that the air compressor for the pipe organ was good to go. "First of all," Mme Titanic began, "it's classical, not dated. And second, give it a chance just this once alright? You don't have to take center stage if performance anxiety is giving you second thoughts."

Just then, Georgic made her appearance, having come back from checking the arrangements on-stage. "Mics ready, backup folks on standby," she said, looking around to see where her sister had gone before casting her glance back at Belfast and company. "You folks ready yet? It's time." There was a moment or two of hesitation, then the Town-class cruiser nodded, adjusting the strap of her guitar. "Alright. Let's do this - but _just_ this once."

**** *~*** *~~

" _Ladies and gentlemen, civilians and shipfolks alike, the Harland & Wolffers!_"

Britannic - the hospital ship, not the motor vessel - was the first to make his appearance on stage, to general applause as he settled himself at the console of the organ. Whatever entrance the audience thought was going to take place, they certainly weren't prepared for the intimidating strains of the Imperial March issuing from the massed ranks of pipes, certainly something nobody expected the incarnation of a WW1-era hospital ship to be playing. The applause grew significantly louder and less restrained at that, interspersed with cheers as the Harland & Wolffers ascended the stage, their very steps even matched in beat to the march's time. Showtime, ladies and gentlemen.

Perhaps desirous of breaking the stereotype that their fleetmates had of them after that incident with the speakers at Scapa Flow, the group had explicitly excluded any music before 1900 from the repertoire for tonight, which made for quite the surprising hodgepodge of selections especially considering that some of the liners had taken up more modern instruments - among others, Olympic with a bass guitar (his violin placed conveniently nearby as needed) and Georgic with the drums and other percussion.

There was, however, one exception. As the shipfolk-turned-musicians for the night took up their instruments, Belfast struck up a rapid-fire tune on her guitar, a piece taught her by the shipfolk of a past era, a brisk and almost frenetic Spanish-sounding riff. Titanic the gentleman soon joined in at the piano, and then Georgic came in to bring the beat into it: Albeniz's Asturias, the hectic flamenco-esque piece that in Belfast's hands spoke of the storm clouds that swirled within her, a ceaseless agitation and constant quest for inner peace now given voice through the music.

Their next piece however was decidedly more sobering, and who better than to tell it like it was than the reincarnations of the ship who went down with great loss of life? "I want to dedicate this one to- to all of you out there who've lost someone or something important to you because of this war," the good madame herself began. "And to those of you who feel it's a losing battle, like there's no end in sight and we're fighting in vain. Many of us, perhaps even all, know loss firsthand from our past lives. But we're going to keep on going, I hope you all know that. None of us in the fleet, civilian and naval shipfolk alike, we're not going to rest easy until this war is won and you all, as the Good Book says, 'dwell securely'."

"No matter what the sea or season, at any given moment, there's always some of us going out on sortie, perhaps sometimes along with more conventional naval vessels," her gentleman counterpart added. "Somewhere right now, somewhere cold and unforgiving, this war is being played out one encounter and one battle at a time. Those folks out there might not seek acclaim or accolades, but they're fighting the good fight because they must, because there won't _be_ anything left to fight for if they don't. So why shouldn't we pay tribute to them in our own little way?" Fittingly, the piece was titled Heir of Grief, here played in honor of the ones who this war had hit and hurt, and the ones who got right back up day after day to do battle with eldritch hordes. Throughout its entirety there were more than a few instances of teary eyes in the crowd, and a few of the shipgirls in the audience were going so far as full-on clutching each other with tissues or handkerchiefs.

And then the phone rang.

~*~* ~~*~ ~**

No really - the tinny, decade-old blare of a Nokia phone going off suddenly made itself heard throughout the venue, causing the group to stop mid-fadeout as whoever it was scrambled to find their phone and shut it off. "Alright, which one of you forgot to silence your phone before coming here?" Olympic called out, pointing his violin bow almost accusingly into the crowd as scattered bouts of muffled laughing broke out among the shipgirl contingent. Belfast, frankly, looked like she was going to facepalm so hard it'd leave a handprint on her face... until Mme Titanic saw fit to draw attention to the disturbance by playing the exact same tune on her violin with a displeased expression on her face. Evidently, the good madame was not amused in the slightest, and soon after, her gentleman counterpart responded with an equally offended rendition of the same ringtone on the piano, one that ended up transitioning into a full performance of Tarrega's Gran Vals, as if making the most out of that embarrassing interruption while yet calling the offender out on it.

That little stunt earned them a sitting ovation from the audience, and while Titanic the gentleman got up to take a bow as was proper, the show had to go on. "Now," he said, resuming his seat at the piano, "where were we again?" Things went more smoothly afterwards - with the mood now lightened after the poignant but determined feel of Heir of Grief, the Harland & Wolffers segued into a rendition of Wild West Hero that put a certain member of the group in mind of his wife all the way in the States, that beautiful and respected mother of all American carriers.

Later on came a treat that surprised Belfast, as the audience was treated to the liners' rendition of Bohemian Rhapsody (adapted for piano and strings), in which it seemed the bandmembers of Queen themselves were singing out from the strings. And then out from surreality came lighthearted good cheer - the ever-popular Mr Blue Sky, giving voice to that hope for a bright future after the Abyssal War's end. There was more still of which more could be written, but of course they saved the all-stops-out pieces for the end, a rousing show of support for their naval fleetmates. The motley delegation of shipgirls from Scapa Flow and Portsmouth in attendance (Victory, Thunder Child, and Warspite among them) all got to their feet as one, and the rest of the Harland & Wolffers set down their instruments, as Britannic began with the opening bars of the Royal Navy's unofficial anthem:

 _When Britain first, at Heaven's command, arose from out the azure main..._

It didn't take long for the fleetgirls to break into song at that, and even a sizable portion of the audience joined in at the chorus - and why not? As their forebears had done in the days of the Blitz, and in the days of Napoleon, so too now would they refuse to bow to the Abyssal onslaught. Britannia may no longer rule the waves as in the days of old, but that indomitable spirit was still there, still going strong. And of course, to round out the evening, even more members of the shipgirl delegation brought out the brass and played a fanfare, to lead into one final round of patriotic hymnody that had everyone getting to their feet and singing in unison:

 _God save our gracious Queen, long live our noble Queen, God save the Queen!_

**~* ** ~* ** *** ~*~* ~~~ *~* ~~~ ~* *~ ~

 _Fifteen minutes later...  
_  
"...they _still_ haven't left. Or even stopped clapping." Georgic was, for lack of a better word, flabbergasted at the persistence of their audience's reaction-the rhythmic applause was, as she said, still going, with no signs of slowing down.

"Well, obviously, there's only one reason for that," Belfast stated. "They clearly want an encore. And if the last dozen decades have shown anything, there's only one way to follow that..."

-

The ovation when the Harland and Wolffers retook the stage was raucous, but the audience was quickly quieted at the silent gesture from Belfast, sitting in anticipation of what might come next. Again, without saying a word, the cruiser nodded her head to the rest of the brass-reinforced band, and, with them, started playing a familiar eight-bar brass-and-strings introduction that elicited a massive cheer from the crowd as they rose to their feet in unison-one that quickly dropped to respectful silence as the introduction transitioned into the jaunty marching tune Edward Elgar had awakened from a sound sleep to scribble down over a century before, telling his wife that he just thought of a new song that would be a million-seller, the audience standing, but dipping their knees in unison to the beat, driven by the kettledrums that Georgic had somehow scrounged up on no notice.

Once they got past the bridge, however, the assembled fleetgirls and humans were no longer so quiet, instead raising their voices in the lyrics written for the coronation of Edward VII:

 _Land of hope and glory, mother of the free! How shall we extol thee, who are born of thee?_


	119. Rule 8760

_Rule courtesy of Random over on SB!_

8760\. The teasing of Aso is to stop immediately. She's been making amends for her past mistakes for the last two years and honestly, those of you who are still teasing her over it are far worse than she ever was.

Yokosuka.

 _This is it_ , she thought as she watched the sun rise over the training range. She'd already left the note next to her sister's bedside, and no one else was awake yet aside from the gate sentries.

And they're too far away to stop me in time.

The sun's rays were just now starting to reflect off the water,and already she could hear the sounds of doors opening as the early-risers woke up. Knowing that she didn't have much time before someone else would arrive at the range, she unzipped the small duffle bag she had with, taking out the Minebea 9mm and inserting the magazine. Satisfied that the weapon was ready, she raised it up and pressed the barrel against her temple. The memory of her shame, as well as the torments she had recieved becuase of it would soon be immaterial, and at least that gave her cold comfort as her hand carresssed the trigger.

"Aso-chan, NO!" a familar voice screamed, and, realizing that she'd been caught, Aso squeezed with all of her might on the trigger. And nothing happened.

Aso had all of two seconds to stare confusedly at the weapon before a silver-haired blur knocked her to the ground, wrenching the pistol out of her grasp. Dazed somewhat from the impact, Aso looked up at her rescuer, her emerald eyes meeting Shoukaku's hazel, and then, the realization of what she had done, what she had tried to do, came crashing down on her.  
As her former student began to sob uncontrollably, all Shoukaku could do was pick her up as gently as she could, and carry her to the infirmary, far away from the range or her weapon. Dodging a few confused Kanmusu along the way, she finally made it to the infirmary, where Mihara showed them to a prvate room.

After what seemed like an eternity, Aso regained enough composure for Shoukaku to ask her the inevitable question.

"Why?"

"It's nothing, _sensei_ ," Aso started to say, only for Shoukaku to cut her off.

"DON"T YOU DARE tell me that your attempted suicide is "nothing", Aso-san." said Shoukaku, glaring. "You WILL tell me everything that drove you to the range this morning, and why during all of that time you never came to me, Hosho, or any of your sisters for help."

Aso tried to respond, but Shoukaku's raised hand stopped her.

"And, Aso-san, don't tell me that whatever troubles you is a recent development. Suicide is a decision that I know from personal epierience is not made lightly or quickly,so tell me the truth, chapter and verse. Please."

Aso looked at her former teacher in silence, taking in her words. Although Shoukaku's eyes blazed with fury, she somehow knew it wasn't directed at her, and she heard the underlying plea in Shoukaku's voice. A plea to tell the truth and let someone help her.

"It is a long story, _sensei_." she said, her voice quivering.

"Take all the time you need, Aso-chan." replied Shoukaku soothingly as she let the younger carrier lean on her shoulder. "I'm not going anywhere."

Over the course of the next hour, Aso told Shoukaku everything. How after she'd been shown the archival footage of her nation's past sins, her previous errors had become cannon fodder for cruel jokes said behind her back, especially by some of the escort carriers. How she would wake up shivering and in tears from nightmares about the Hell Ships and labor camps, and how she had isolated herself from her sisters, placing a facade of aloofness between them, when in reality, she had felt unworthy of both their love and devotion. Finally, she told Shoukaku of the jab from Yamashio Maru that had pushed her over the edge, where the escort carrier had asked about her upcoming China convoy, reminding her to not go overboard in Nanjing.

Aso choked up again, not wanting to remember the words that had broken what was left of her self-esteem, but she continued past it, finishing with how she had checked out a sidearm from the armory the previous night under the guise of some early morning target practice.

"Oh, Aso-chan, I'm so sorry." whispered Shoukaku, tears running down her cheeks. "None of us had any idea that you were going through that hell, and you shouldn't have faced that alone."

"It's what I deserve, _sensei_ ," sighed Aso. "after all that I did, I'm a mons-.."

Shoukaku abrputly gripped Aso in a hug. "Don't finish that sentence, are many things, but a monster is not one of them. You never took part in the war, you never comitted any crime, unlike the rest of us."  
The bitter tone of Shoukaku's last sentence surprised Aso, as she remembered what her teacher had told her at the beginning.

 _Suicide is a decision that I know from personal expierience is not made lightly or quickly._

" _Sensei?_ " she asked. "I don't understand."

Shoukaku sighed, and looked around the room, making sure that they were alone. "What I am about to say does not leave this room."

"Yes, sensei."

"Aso, while I was steel, I comitted a terrible crime when I attacked Pearl Harbor. I started a war that brought our country to ruins and killed thousands of our people. It consumed everyone in it's path. My friends, my family, even your sisters died in that war. A war that I started."

Aso's eyes widened as Shoukaku's voice began to falter, but the older carrier powered through.

"Anyway, when I was summoned, I read just how much that war had cost, and I blamed myself. I fell into a dark place because of that, and it got to the point where I, like you earlier this morning, felt that I didn't deserve my life, and that it would be easier on everyone if I ended it all."

"What happened?" asked Aso, in complete shock.

"Kaga, my training officer back then, came back to the dorms at just the right moment to stop me before I made a mistake that I couldn't take back, and she took me to Hosho, and both of them listened to me when I told them my story. They helped me a lot through that first year, and I will always be grateful for that."

"Does anyone else know?"

"I told Zuikaku a few years ago, right after she and Kaga began dating, but she's the only one that knows aside from me, Kaga, Hosho, and now you. I trust that you won't mention this to anyone?"

"Of course, sensei." said Aso. "You have my word."

"Good." said Shoukaku, rising from the bed. "I'll leave out most of the details when I tell the Admiral, but, you can rest assured that what happened to you will never happen again. That's a promise that I intend to keep."

"Thank you, sensei."

"In the meantime, unless I'm hearing things, there are some people outside who want to see you." With that, she opened the door and gestured Aso's sisters inside, and upon seeing their sibling, they all immediately surrounded her,each desperately trying to hold the one they had almost lost.  
In the middle of the embrace, Aso smiled her first genuine smile in two years, and she felt emotions that she had been lacking for far too long.

 _Joy and Love._


	120. Rule 9438

_Once again we give thanks to the great Grand Admiral, Falkeno for his wonderful Belfast snippets!_

 **Rule 9438. HMS Seraph is officially barred from entering any morgue worldwide. In addition, she is now designated as Habbakuks official cuddle buddy, make of that what you will.**

If there was one thing the Britannic's hated about their jobs, it was morgue duty, and as Male Britannic strolled through the Medical centre of Scapa Flow, he wasn't a happy man, the last thing he'd wanted to be called in that morning for, was to autopsy a young sailor who had died in the night, apparently the poor kid had suffered from a fatal heart defect, but it was standard procedure to perform an autopsy; However as he entered the morgue he could swear he could hear strange noises coming from one of the draws, specifically from the draw that contained the body he was supposed to be autopsying, slowly he opened the draw with one hand, whilst holding the heaviest, bluntest object he could find in the other, he'd seen enough zombie movies to be cautious of strange noises coming from near a dead body.

"What the hell?" Britannic asked aloud, as instead of finding the living dead in the draw, he found a submarine sleeping in it, her arms wrapped around the body, practically cuddling it "Get the fuck out! have some respect for the dead" he screamed as he pulled the girl out of the draw.

"Augh, but I was comfy" The girl pouted as Britannic set her down, allowing him to get a good look at her, and seeing the pennant number P219 written on her streamlined uniform, Identified her as HMS Seraph.

"Just what the hell were you doing in there!?" Britannic asked, annoyed that Seraph had been sleeping next to the corpse, in the process breaking pretty much every regulation there was regarding the operation of a morgue.

"Eh what can I say, I like em cold" Seraph replied before dashing away, Britannic briefly considered pursuing her, but he had more pressing issues, like checking that all Seraph had been doing was cuddling the body.

A few days later, Britannic was once again in the morgue, this time waiting to autopsy the body of a woman that had come in earlier that day, and was currently engrossed in a book he'd been working through in his spare time when he was disturbed by a voice behind him.

"Ohhh yeah, I would totally do that!" Seraph remarked as she looked under the blanket covering the body, where the deceased had already been stripped of her clothes in preparation for the autopsy.

"Hey! get away from there!" Britannic shouted as he leapt towards the sub, only for Seraph to jump out of the way at the last second, before dashing out with Britannic hot on her heels, but after twenty minutes of ducking, dodging and flat out running, Seraph was able to shake the liner come hospital ship off her tail, leaving Britannic with only a sense of defeat and questions that needed answers, and fortunately for him, he knew exactly who to talk to.

"Hey Belfast, you mind me asking you something?" Britannic asked, prompting a sigh from the cruiser in question.

"Sure what's the matter?" Belfast replied, most of the time she got asked things, they were either trivial, annoying, or both, but she neither the less tried to answer them.

"I've been having trouble in the morgue, for some reason, Seraph keeps coming in an messing around with the bodies, first time I found her, she was cuddling one of them!" Britannic explained, prompting a concerned look from the cruiser.

"Wait, did you just say seraph?" Belfast asked, receiving a nod from Britannic, "Ahh, of course, it's her, guess Mincemeat had an effect of her" She pondered, getting a confused look from Britannic, "Oh, you've never heard of Operation Mincemeat, let me explain; Operation Mincemeat was a deception mission prior to the invasion of Sicily, what happened was British intelligence commandeered the corpse of a dead Welsh tramp, gave him an entirely new identity as a Royal Marines Major, complete with fictitious love letters and other 'wallet litter', then handcuffed it to a briefcase, with equally well crafted fake documents, then dumped the whole lot off of the coast of Spain, and let German intelligence get ahold of them, and they swallowed the whole thing and pulled most of their units out of Sicily and stuck them in Greece, where the documents said there was going to be a landing instead" Belfast explained.

"Wow, that's an impressive story, but how does Seraph fit in?" Britannic asked, from the story he hadn't heard any mention of the troublesome submarine, Belfast however was able to elaborate.

"Well, when they were dumping the body, they had to use a submarine, which do you think they used?" Belfast replied, prompting a sigh from Britannic.

"Ah, now I get you, now I know what she meant by 'liking them cold', but how do we stop her" Britannic queried, Prompting Belfast to think, and as an Idea formed in her mind, she couldn't help but smile.

"I have an idea, but we're going to need some help" Belfast explained as she got up to head to the destroyers dorm, "Just meet me in twenty minutes in the carrier dorm" She added as she left, Belfast had two candidates to enlist.

Seraph was minding her own business as she strolled through Scapa Flow, right up until she found two pairs of arms seizing her from either side, finding them belonging to Cavalier and Rapid respectively, but before she could ask them what they were doing, she found cavalier shoving a bag on her head, briefly she considered struggling, but with two shipgirls of a heavier tonnage and higher speed, she decided against it, and so let the pair carry her to where ever they were going, hopefully a chance for escape would present itself later, finally she felt them stop and put her down, followed by the bag being removed, revealing an annoyed looking Britannic, and more alarmingly a smirking Belfast.

"So Britannic's been telling me you've been sneaking into the morgue and messing with the bodies" Belfast noted, only to cut off Seraph before she could reply, "he also mentioned that you 'like em cold' well let's see how cold you like em" she added before reaching over and knocking on a door Seraph hadn't noticed before, prompting the sound of heavy footsteps from within as whoever or whatever was inside moved towards the door, "Hey Habakkuk, here's a present for you" Belfast announced as she grabbed Seraph and threw her into Habakkuk's waiting arms.

"Ohh, comfy" Habakkuk noted as she squeezed Seraph, who tried to wriggle free, only to feel the cold from Habakkuk and stop.

"Mmh, Cold" Seraph purred as she got comfortable in Habakkuk's arms, as she carried her back into her room, shutting the door behind her, leaving Britannic slightly concerned.

"Erm, was that supposed to happen?" Brittanic asked as Cavalier and Rapid slinked away, they're job over and bags of candy waiting for them in their rooms, as payment for their help.

"Eh, at least she'll be out of your hair" Belfast replied as she turned to leave, not mentioning that this wasn't what she had planned entirely.


	121. Rule 9476

_Rule courtesy of MendelevianDescendent_

 **9476: SCIENCE girls, as much as it would please some of us to have found a metaphorical fountain of youth, we'd rather you refrain from attempts to de-age our human personnel.**  
 _  
Yokosuka, Japan, September 20, 20XX  
_  
Sometimes it was good for an admiral to have a look in on his SCIENCE shipgirls - surprise inspections of that sort could prove useful in being forewarned of future techie mayhem as well as provide motivation for the SCIENCEfleet to channel their chaotic energies into something constructive for the war effort. Shipgirls being shipgirls though, many times an unannounced admiral inspection became an excuse to see who could drive the admiral out of their lab the fastest with heinous feats of mad science. Last time this had happened, Provence had accidentally let loose an entire horde of food-based critters all over Toulon, resulting in confused attempts to either round them up or eat them and leading to a fuckload more paperwork for Admiral Masson.

Fortunately, or perhaps unfortunately, things were going rather differently over in Yokosuka.

"Akashi? What exactly am I supposed to be looking at here?" Admiral Goto hefted up what looked like a suspiciously short-barreled bazooka, as though the repair ship slash SCIENCE shipgirl had cut a foot or so off the length of the barrel. "Admiral no, put that down!" One of the Yuubaris had run over to him and hurriedly yoinked it clean out of his hands, setting it back down on its rack with such precision it was as if she feared it would go off. "That's still experimental, we're still working the kinks out-" "Don't let Iku catch you saying that," Goto began, only to backtrack a short time afterward. "Never mind, if I remember correctly your lab is almost everything-proof. So what exactly is this thing?"

" _This_ , Admiral, is a Ten-Year Bazooka," Akashi said as she made her way over, hefting up the bazooka and stroking the barrel of the mad invention (like a villain petting a cat) with a bit of a gleam in her eyes. "The original plans came from outside sources I'm not sure I can discuss safely, but leaving aside the question of whose idea this thing was, let's just say that whoever gets shot by it is supposed to temporarily switch places with a future version of themselves. The Yuubaris and I have been trying to reverse the effect, so that it calls up _past_ versions of its targets instead."

"Right." Goto folded his arms over his chest as he raised a brow at the repair ship turned SCIENCE girl. "And why exactly would you want to try pulling this off?" "Well, ah... part of it was so we could study the life cycle of Abyssals," Yuubari admitted, though that was likely a big fat lie or at least only half-true. "But the real draw of it is we want to know what you were like when you were still in the academy!" Akashi piped up, prompting a "What" from the admiral and a raised brow to go with it. "Well, I mean, it must've been a great time in your life if you keep trying to think back to it every time you get stressed ou-oh _shit!_ "

That last bit was the bazooka slipping from Akashi's grasp, and she ended up playing a one-girl game of hot potato with it as she tried to keep it from hitting the ground. The trouble was, her finger slipped, caught the trigger - and with an almighty bang and a great cloud of smoke, the Ten-Year Bazooka went off, its muzzle pointed squarely at Admiral Goto. When the smoke cleared, it wasn't clear who shrieked first, but apparently the SCIENCE girls could do an excellent impression of Kongou's sister.

"HIIIIEEEEEEEEEEE!"

There, standing before them, was Shinichi Goto, still very much the admiral they all knew and loved (or hated, depending on who you asked), but looking much more fresh-faced than any shipgirl could remember him being. Yuubari and Akashi could only gape at the sight, as their younger-looking admiral looked down at his hands with considerable confusion. "Well. It doesn't look like I've been sent back ten years in time so thank goodness for that turning out to be a dud." "Uh... Admiral, you _might_ want to look in a mirror." "Huh? Is there smoke on my face or someth-" Goto was cut off as he spotted his reflection in a nearby monitor, letting out a long, low groan of exasperation. "Fuuuuuuuuuck my life, for the six hundred and forty-seventh time running. How long is this supposed to last?"

The SCIENCE girls looked at each other with clear and obvious nervousness, gulping before Yuubari turned to give the admiral her answer. "Well you see the thing is, um, the original effect was supposed to last for five minutes. But since we did some tampering, made some alterations, we're not exactly sure how long until this wears off. Let's just hope it isn't permanent, though I have to say admiral, the new look suits you well." " _Dismissed_ ," Admiral Goto replied dryly, shaking his head with a sigh before clearing out of the lab snappily. Lord knew he'd rather not meet the wrong end of any more of their inventions!

Fortunately for him it seemed, his human subordinates refrained from giving him trouble for it. Oh a few asked if he was on a new skincare regimen, and some even dared ask if he had plastic surgery or even Botox, but Goto had heard worse and could shrug it off. No, what was really giving him issues was that his 10-years-younger appearance was causing quite the stir among his shipgirls. Aoba had offered, for the fifth time this year, to include him in a photoshoot for a naval pinup calendar. Akigumo had propositioned him to model for her art, due to the fact that she was forbidden from using any shipboys as her models (and they almost never came to Japan anyhow). Mutsu had been even more flirtatious than usual, greeting him with an "Oh my, how did you get even more handsome than you already were, admiral?". Even Nagato, who usually was the very model of silent professionalism, had to avert her eyes from his appearance lest his looks bring a blush to her normally-stoic face.

Naturally, his girlfriend - some would say wife in all but name and ring - found out about the change in him eventually. From a distance, she saw him in his new youthful glory, Yokosuka's Adonis of an admiral - and she liked what she saw, dess. She liked it a **_lot_**. And she had to do something about that sooner or later, preferably sooner in case anyone else had any designs on him because of his current predicament.

It was past sundown when the attack came, at a time when he least expected it. "TEIIIIIIIIIIIIIITOOOOOOOOOOOKUUUUUUUUUUU!" In a blur of white, red, and brown flinging herself at him full tackle to pull him in for a tight hug, Kongou soon began carrying Goto off away in her embrace like a huntress claiming her prey. "Ack! Kongou, what the- put me down, have you been dipping in the coffee again-" The poor man was at a loss for words in trying to talk with the fast battleship currently smothering him in her endearingly excessive affections. Kongou's intentions became crystal clear as soon as she next spoke, and it seemed plain as day that Goto losing ten years from his physical age had awakened something in her she needed to get out of her system _pronto_.

"Teitoku! Since Akashi-san shot you with that weapon, you're 10 years younger, dess! Now you have even more stamina to keep up with my BURNING LOVE!, dess!"

The ensuing night battle behind locked doors was, to put it mildly, one of the wildest and longest (and best) nights Admiral Goto had ever known to that point.


	122. Rule 9508

_Rule courtesy of Falkeno_

 **Rule 9508. No calling either Vanguard or Tirpitz 'A White Elephant' or the 'Lone Queen of the North' respectfully, due to the lack of action that they saw during their famous careers, they don't like it, and they have the armament to back it up. In addition, this seems to have driven the two together, and no you cannot use 'two wrongs to make a right' as an excuse for your actions.**

It was a cold and windy day in Scapa Flow, but Vanguard didn't care, a month prior she had started being called a White Elephant by a few of the older destroyers, but as the weeks had gone by, more and more people had joined in, mostly destroyers and some of the human personnel, but also some of the older cruisers, ones who had been sunk before she had been launched, and after nearly a month of putting she had had enough, and so she had found herself heading to a secluded spot near the mouth of the natural harbour that was Scapa Flow, where no one usually went due to it being unprotected from the wrath of the north sea, but that meant she could get some peace and quiet; however as she arrived she noticed she wasn't alone, as sitting on a nearby rock was Tirpitz, a shipgirl not normally seen outside of Norway, now at this point Vanguard would have turned around and found somewhere else to get some peace and quiet, but as she noticed Tirpitz looked upset, she decided to investigate.

"Hey, Tirpitz, what brings you out this far?" Vanguard asked, causing Tirpitz to jump in surprise, but seeing the sincere look on Vanguards face, made Tirpitz not run off into the North Sea.

"Oh, just seeing the sights, gets a bit boring looking at mountains all of the time" Tirpitz replied nonchalantly, Vanguard however, saw through Tirpitz's lie and simply stared at Tirpitz. "Ugh, Alright! I'm hiding from the others, they keep calling me the Lone Queen of the North and I really hate it, so I sort of ran away" she explained, "What about you? shouldn't you be blowing something up?" Tirpitz asked.

"Actually, I came up here for some peace and quiet, I got sick and tired of being called a white elephant all the time" Vanguard explained as she sat down next to Tirpitz, "So I guess we're both here for the same reason" She added.

"Wait? why are they calling you a white elephant? you are the best battleship Britain ever made, and you are known to be good in a fight against the abyssal's" Tirpitz queried, she wasn't wrong, Vanguard was one of the best battleships in the Royal Navy, and before she'd summoned the Lions, she had been the best, no questions asked "I mean they call me the Lone Queen of the North for a reason, I was stuck in a Fjord for the entire war doing nothing" She added, receiving a 'are you serious!' look from Vanguard.

"Ha, you know I did for my entire career, sail around looking good and doing fuck all! I never did anything worthwhile, the best thing I ever did was being a stand-in for Hood, KGV and your sister in a film!" Vanguard retorted as she looked at Tirpitz, "At least you have your sister to look out for you, I'm all alone" she sighed, only to receive a reassuring pat on the shoulder from Tirpitz.

"Your not alone Vanguard, there are people who are always there for you, even despite you habit of blowing stuff up" Tirpitz replied comfortingly, "Some people might even find it a turn on" she muttered under her breath, before realising she had just said that out loud, and promptly turning red out of embarrassment, Vanguard however simply looked at Tirpitz before replying.

"Another thing you have in relation to your sister is that you have inherited her good looks" Vanguard noted as she turned to face Tirpitz "in fact I'd say your the better looking one" she added, Tirpitz however was caught off guard, people often commented on how good her sister looked, but no one had ever said anything about Tirpitz before.

"Well, may I just say that you're not half bad either, in fact, your rather... ravishing" Tirpitz commented as she moved closer to Vanguard, who did likewise.

"Oh, will you just kiss already! I can't stand anymore of this will they won't they bullshit!" Belfast shouted causing the pair to jump in surprise.

"Jesus, how long have you been their Bel?" Vanguard screamed as she turned to look at Belfast, who was nestled in a recess in a group of rocks, holding a near empty bottle of rum.

"I was here before Tirpitz showed up, but because both of you were more focused on your own problems you didn't see me" Belfast answered as she stood up, just as the wind shifted slightly, just enough so that Vanguard and Tirpitz could smell the booze coming off of Belfast, who now they could see the pile of empty bottles that had been behind her, had been drinking a lot "I like to come up here to drink, its away from prying eyes and Conway's mouth" she explained as she put the empty bottles into a bag she'd brought for that exact reason "Now, here's what's going to happen I'm going to go back to base and have Collingwood and Hartmann 'explain' to everyone that calling you either of those names isn't a good idea, and what they can expect if they keep doing it, whilst you two book a table at a restaurant, and maybe a hotel room whilst your at it, Ok?" Belfast announced, receiving nods from the pair in question "Good, now I'll leave you two lovebirds alone" she added, before leaving the pair.

"So um, you want to get dinner?" Vanguard asked, receiving a grin from Tirpitz.

"Sure; but there's one thing I'd like to do first" Tirpitz replied as she leaned a little closer to Vanguard.

"Ok, what do you have in mind?" Vanguard queried, Tirpitz however simply smiled, before lunging at Vanguard and began to suck face with the equally willing British Battleship.


	123. Rule 9215

Rule courtesy of MendelevianDescent

 _9215\. To whoever decided to prank Britannic by leaving a naval mine in his bed, his brothers would like to have_ _ _words__ _with you. After you pay for the damages to the cruise/ocean liner dorms._

 _Scapa Flow, August 22, 20xx  
_  
One thing had to be said about the naval base here in Scapa Flow: there weren't many other naval bases with such a considerable number of ocean liner shipfolk, which was of course unsurprising given Britain's former dominance of maritime shipping routes. The various house flags flown beneath the White Ensign outside the liner dorms bore witness to the varied population housed therein, and taking pride of place among the lot were the Cunard Line's golden lion rampant guardant on red, and the single-starred red swallowtail pennant of the White Star Line: the two foremost of the British shipping lines.

Being unable in their current state to serve as troop transports anymore, those who had volunteered themselves under the Admiralty's service found themselves mostly in supporting roles - taking convoy duty upon themselves, managing the supplies on-base (especially when it came to matters of food), or resuming their old duties as hospital ships from their steel-hull days. That said, the ocean liner dorms were by no means more peaceful than the warships' accomodations: shipgirls would be shipgirls (and likewise for the minor handful of shipboys whose existence was/should've been an outright fluke) and that meant mayhem was equally likely to brew regardless of whose dorms it was.

Dawn was hardly breaking, the sky not yet its full lightness and the sun hardly peering over the horizon, when HMHS Britannic awoke with a long, lazy yawn, rolling over in bed as he slowly sat up to greet the new day. Being a hospital ship meant he was needed on-call as early as possible, and while usually the youngest of the White Star trio would have gone to make himself a cup of coffee as a pickmeup beforehand, something black and heavy in his bed would soon give him a powerful enough jolt of adrenaline that would wake him up much, much faster, the moment he caught sight of it.

" _ **AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!**_ "

The stillness of the pre-dawn hours was broken by a full-throated scream of pure, primal fear that gave nearly everyone in the building a rude awakening, the entire dormitory coming to life with the sounds of shipfolk bolting out of bed and flinging their doors open to see what or where the commotion came from. Unsurprisingly, the first to the scene were a wild-eyed Olympic and a rather bed-headed Titanic, and they had scarcely approached the door to Britannic's room when it was nearly busted right off its hinges from the inside by an angry hospital ship who was literally trembling from sheer panicked fury and was currently scrambling to get the hell out of dodge.

"-swear I'm not paid enough to deal with this shit, the _things_ I have to put up with sometimes for crying out loud! Wouldn't've minded seeing them from a distance but what the hell? Who the _bloody_ hell thought it was funny to make me get up close and personal with one of those heinous devices!" he was heard shouting at nobody in particular. "What the fuck! What the actual fuck! When I find out who wanted to attempt my own goddamn _murder_ -" "Murd- what? Oi Britannic, what happened? Where're you going?" Olympic called out, confused and very much concerned for the youngest of his class. "To the medicine cabinets!" Britannic retorted, not bothering to look back over his shoulder. "After what I woke up to this morning? Confound going to work, I can't deal with that crap, _I need a goddamn drink!_ "

Peering into the room (which appeared to have been somewhat trashed in Britannic's hasty attempts to get the hell out of bed and as far away from there as possible), it soon became clear what the source of their brother's terrified outburst was. There, laying miraculously undisturbed on his bed, was what appeared to be a naval mine: the very thing that had sent his steel hull to the shallow depths of the Kea Channel. The two brothers took one look at each other, soon coming to swift and almost unspoken agreement. "You go upstairs, I'll go downstairs?" "Sounds like a plan. Let's get everyone right the hell out of here before that thing goes off."

"Well _that_ ," Admiral Collingwood said with an exasperated sigh, gesturing in the direction of the currently smoking-out-the-windows ocean liner dorms, "could have gone better." That the mine had detonated in a hallway while it was being removed from the premises instead of going off as soon as it was lifted off the bed was nothing short of a stroke of luck, and hinted at the possibility that it was possibly a rather old mine at that. "I'll say. It doesn't make sense though, it seems a bit excessive for a mere prank," Aquitania pointed out, himself already dressed for medical duty to fill in for Britannic in meanwhile. "We might have to conduct an inquiry, to see if anyone's got beef with him or his inner circle. Then again, when does anything ever make sense when shipfolk are involved?" the admiral mused, pinching the bridge of his nose. How he would've liked a drink...

Not long after, a sharp-eyed young lady in the same garb as Aquitania came striding towards the two of them, purposeful in her steps and evident displeasure in her eyes - the same eyes that belonged to the unfortunate victim of the morning's bad joke. "I got your message Admiral," Britannic's alternate/counterpart said, saluting Collingwood then and there. "What news do we have?" "So far, nothing substantive," Collingwood replied, shaking his head with a sigh. "Naval mine in his bed, it was a miracle he didn't set it off sooner by accident. We've not come any closer to catching the culprit, sadly."

"A naval mine..." Madame Britannic seemed lost in thought, wincing as if recalling the memory of that morning in November 1916. "If this is their idea of a prank it's an absolutely terrible one, and I have no idea what possessed them to pull it off. Yes, it _probably_ wouldn't have killed him like it did to us back in 1916, but even if it didn't, he'd be in for repairs for a good long while. What were they even thinking? Heaven help them if Belfast finds out... oh. _Oh._ " The hospital ship stopped in her tracks as she turned to the pair of gentlemen alongside her, a devious grin slowly spreading on her face. "Suppose, instead of trying to _catch_ the culprit, you _lure_ them right into your waiting arms?"

"They did _what?!_ " If looks could kill, the look of outraged fury on Belfast's face would have been the equivalent of staring at a dozen basilisks all at once - deader than deader than dead in an instant. Her ire was justified, given her own previous (and very painful) experience with being mined. Collingwood nodded, letting her take in the news before proposing the plan to her. "It's exactly as bad as it sounds." "And you want me to-" "Yes. If we want to find whoever did this," the admiral said, rising from his chair and setting his hands on his desk, "we're going to have to turn up the heat on them." There was hardly any hesitation from the Town-class cruiser before she nodded, cracking her knuckles almost as if contemplating how much trouble the perp would soon be in. "I'm in."

By mid-afternoon, signs and posters were popping up like weeds all over Scapa Flow, plastered on walls and posts, and even on doors. The Uncle Sam-esque image was of Belfast pointing accusingly at the viewer, with the headline **BELFAST WANTS YOU.** Beneath her scowling face was an explanatory notice written up by Admiral Collingwood: _To whoever almost blew up one of the Britannics by sneaking a mine into his bed, Belfast has learned about said 'prank' and isn't happy. For the sake of your health, turn yourself in immediately before she decides to find you and take matters into her own hands. It won't be pleasant.  
_  
Belfast wasn't the only one desirous of taking matters into her own hands though. Some of the posters were later found with a warning tacked on in very neat penmanship: _Our names are Olympic and Titanic. Your prank could have killed our brother. Prepare to die._ As if quoting The Princess Bride again wasn't bad enough, the lead ship of the class saw fit to go on the hunt for the perpetrator himself, and by late afternoon he'd been prowling the base for hours on the lookout for someone to let slip what they'd done to his brother.

He didn't expect the admiral to find out about his designs so quickly, but then it wasn't as though he was the most subtle among the shipfolk on base. "You'd better not be thinking of returning the favor," Collingwood said, looking towards the liner with a bit of a frown. "You're courting serious trouble over there." "Oh believe me, I'm sorely, sorely tempted," Olympic grumbled, uncrossing his arms and stuffing his hands in his pockets. "But I can't just stand by and let them go scot free! Whoever did this, they need to pay. That's my brother they scared the bejeezus out of and nearly killed! I'm not going to let them walk away from that, what sort of lead ship would I be if-"

"I _know_ ," the admiral replied, more than a little annoyance in his tone. "You don't think _I'm_ upset about this either? The repairs to your dormitories are going right out of our budget, and not only that, one of our best medics is off drinking his traumas away 'til he's three sheets to the wind because of that mine prank! _Believe_ me, I want whoever did it found just as much as you do, because if Belfast gets to her before I do-"

Collingwood had scarcely spoken when a screaming someone sped past so fast they were but a loud and terrified blur, and the Admiral quickly threw his arm out to block the liner from charging at the offender with murderous intent to rival HMS Victory's: for his hand had on instinct gone for his axe without him realizing it. "I'll take it from here," he said, his tone so direct and commanding it clearly brooked no objections. "Find your brothers, take care of them. That's an order, Britannic's been through enough already without you risking the brig or worse for his sake." Olympic opened his mouth to argue, before second thoughts made him reconsider and shut it, and his hand slowly fell away from the handle of his axe as he headed off to find the other two members of his class to dote on.

"Now then." Shaking his head with a quiet sigh, the admiral began the long walk back to his office, where no doubt the panicked shipgirl was now hiding herself to claim sanctuary and escape Belfast's wrath. His thoughts found themselves voiced in the melody of a certain song about sloshed seamen, the words now altered for the current situation. "What do I do with a pranking shipgirl, what do I do with a pranking shipgirl, what do I do with a pranking shipgirl, early in the evening?" Oh he was going to break into his liquor stash later that night, he'd absolutely need it.

At last I have another snippet hot off the presses! I've been having schedule woes and some trouble finding inspiration, which is why this one took a while to churn out. Credits to Allard-Liaofor the original rule (this is I think the first time I wrote a snippet for his rules)! Note: Britannic's not _completely_ mine-phobic, mind - it's having them sprung up close and personal as a surprise that gives rise to the violent reaction, but otherwise the sight of them wouldn't set either of the Britannics off.


	124. Rule 9713

_Rule courtesy of the Budgie Admiral. Not bad for a rookie, mate! ;)_

 **9713: While the gesture is apprciated, gifting Kaga a freezer is banned effective immediately. Unforeseen complications occurred.**

Zuikaku, fleet carrier of the 5th Carrier Division of the JMSDF, was merrily humming a catchy tune when she entered the mess hall. It was early in the morning, so few others were awake just yet, and that left the mess hall practically deserted. Which was nice, because that meant she'd have first grabs on some of the bretzen that the German shipgirls, Graf Zeppelin in particular, had brought with them.

She was about to grab a few from the absolutely massive pile of bakeware when she felt a cold hand land on her shoulder. Her humming stopped dead in its tracks as she slowly turned around and came face to face with a visibly sleepy and very angry Akagi.

"Was it your idea?" She demanded with a creepy half-smile. While Shoukaku-nee was still the master of half-smiles, she had to admit that Akagi had proven a good apprentice to Zuikaku's sister.

"What are we talking about here?"

"Please don't deny it, I know you know of the freezer. Did you have a good laugh?"

"What freezer?"

"The one your sister gifted to Kaga yesterday."

Oh. _That_ freezer.

"Well… In my defence, it was Shoukaku's idea and she did it with no malice involved. Also, it's a minibar, not a freezer, for cool drinks and snacks. She said that Kaga might like cool drinks, because of, y'know, her temperature." That was the truth. But then again, no need to tell Akagi how funny Zuikaku thought it had been. "And anyways, what's with it that got you so worked up?"

"What's with it? Oh, I'm going to show you what's with it. Come with me." And with that, Zuikaku, bretzen in hand, was dragged down the hallway to the carrier dorms, leaving behind a couple of thoroughly puzzled spectators.

v

Soon, both carriers were standing in the 1st Division's room, staring in disbelief at the freezer minibar. Not that anything was wrong with the minibar in particular. It actually was quite a nice one, blue for obvious reasons, and styled to imitate the look of old 60s era freezers, with rounded corners and chrome attachments.

What left both carriers gaping in disbelief was Kaga, who had somehow managed to huddle her entire large frame into the tiny minibar. The 1st Division's pride was looking fairly content with the situation (as far as her stoic face could tell of any emotion) and was in no hurry to budge.

"That's with it.", said Akagi. "Is that supposed to be funny?"

Zuikaku for her part, was too busy cackling like a schoolgirl. Admittedly, it was a hilarious sight. Obviously, she could not possibly miss the opportunity to take a picture for later use. It could prove handy against the old grunt in the future, y'know?

"What are you- HEY! Stop!" Akagi exclaimed, hands frantically trying to block the camera or get a grip on Zuikaku's smartphone, to no avail. Kaga, uncharacteristically for her, did not seem to care much.

Her friend though did. "Are you done already?" she asked the still giggling Zuikaku. "Yeah. Yeah, I think I am. That was hilarious.", she responded, earning a pissed look from Akagi. "So what now?"

Instead of an answer, Akagi reached for the minibar and tugged on Kaga's clothes. To Zuikaku's shock, the carrier started hissing like a cat, a furious expression on her features and eyes gleaming like, well, a cat's eyes in the dark. Okay, that hadn't been part of the plan.

"Uhh, Akagi... How long has she been in there?" Zuikaku asked, now slightly worried.

"How long? She got in the second she had unpacked it and plugged in the power cable! I tried coaxing her out the entire goddamn night! I got zero sleep, and neither did she as far as I can tell. If you wanted to see me desperate, well congratulations, you got me desperate. I'll do anything you say, just get her out of the freezer!"

"Minibar."

"WHATEVER! Get her back to normal now!"

Zuikaku, for her part, did not answer immediately. She took her time, looked to Kaga in the minibar, then back to Akagi's desperate face. On second thought, how had she missed the red rim around the carrier's eyes before? She could've sworn the dried tears hadn't been there before.

As much as she disliked the stoic shipgirl, Kaga's condition seemed to be quite serious. Akagi certainly was not lying, she for her part held no grudge against Zuikaku. She had no reason to prank her. Kaga might, but Akagi would not go along with that.

So this was very much real, and worrying. She had to find a way to get Kaga out of the freezer, sorry, minibar, preferably before the admiral started wondering where his second-best carrier had gone!

v

An hour later, Zuikaku's arms were festooned with scratches and bite marks, Akagi was crying in a corner, and Kaga was still in the freezer. She threw a furious glare at Zuikaku and then settled back into the minibar, resisting any and all attempts to move her with fierce use of force.

"What do we do now?" Asked Akagi, her voice high pitched with worry. Zuikaku, out of breath and in pain from the claw marks on her arms, simply slumped down on Kaga's bed. "I'm out.", she sighed. "Although… I might know someone who can help… But you won't like it."

v

Five minutes later, a knock sounded on the door, and Zuikaku opened it to reveal both Yuubaris, wearing gas masks and dragging a steel pressure bottle along on the floor behind them that was covered top to bottom in a veritable maze of warning and hazard signs. Zuikaku was positive that at least one of the signs explicitly warned from dragging the bottle along the floor.

"Hi, where's our subject?" chirped the first Yuubari, eyes alight with anticipation. Akagi said "Eep.".

"Found her!" proclaimed the second one, hunched over the minibar and curiously eying it's content. Kaga stared back, unfazed.

"So? Can you get her out?" asked Zuikaku. Without taking her eyes off the minibar, the second Yuubari answered "Yeah, sure, we can get her out…" At Akagi's sigh of relief, she continued "But you'll have to leave the room."

v

Another fifteen minutes later, Akagi was furiously pacing up and down the hallway in front of her room's door, the door that the Yuubaris had locked from the inside. Zuikaku was leaned against the wall, shooting an annoyed gaze at the pacing carrier.

"What?" Akagi shouted, nervous as a trainee surgeon at his first day.

"Relax, she'll be fine. Your pacing is not going to accelerate things."

"You did tell the Yuubaris not to harm her, did you?"

In favour of a response, Zuikaku was now starting to pale. Just as Akagi was about to burst into tears again, the door swung open and a panting Yuubari announced that Kaga was now knocked out but she promised she'd wake up soon, and gestured them inside.

Indeed, Kaga was seemingly unharmed, sprawled out on her bed, eyes tightly shut. One of the Yuubaris placed a needle in her arm, and the carrier's eyes jolted open, shot from side to side as she took in her surroundings, and then she slowly sat up just enough for Akagi to tackle-hug her back down.

"Akagi? I think I don't remember a few things. I remember it was evening when Shoukaku brought us the freezer…"

Akagi sobbed happily.

"I also remember a turkey..."

Zuikaku screamed in rage and kicked the freezer to shreds. So long, minibar.

Kaga smirked.


	125. Rule 9778

_Rule courtesy of the BudgieAdmiral_

 **9778: Whoever keeps playing "this girl is on fire" by Alicia Keys over the PA system whenever Enterprise sets herself ablaze, seize and desist now. You have an enraged Yamato coming for you.**

The day had started off well in Yokosuka, Japan. The sun was shining, no clouds in the sky, the temperature was not too high and not too cold either. The fishing vessels had left port earlier, and the rest of the town's citizens was going over their daily business.

However, unbeknownst to the general public, the naval base of Yokosuka was already in disarray. Mainly because Enterprise had once again managed to set herself on fire.

"Enterprise, why on earthy would you do that?" yelled a panicked Fubuki, standing with Zuikaku and Houshou in a corner of the mess hall, while a group of firefighters were attempting to contain the blaze of the building around Enterprise, and seemingly, they were not very successful.

"'Swear it wasn't intentional this time!" Enterprise responded defensively. "I dreamed of Kaga and the next thing I know, I wake up, and my bed's on fire!"

Now it was Zuikaku's turn to shout. "Why would you even dream of Kaga?"

"Fuck do I know! Do I look like a fuckin' psychologist or what?"

"I really don't think this is of any importance right now, considering the mess hall is currently burning to the ground!" exclaimed Houshou. Unfortunately, to no avail. Now, for a quick news flash: It is common knowledge amongst most of the shipgirls and the readership of this list at this point that Zuikaku secretly admires Kaga and has a crush on her, but she would never confess to her love, ever, not even if a thousand Abyssals were forcing her to. But, always the tsundere, Zuikaku also is a jealous person. And hearing that Enterprise, the most highly decorated carrier ever and the pride of the USN, dreams of Kaga in her sleep, is prone to set off the full power of the tsundere.

"What did you even dream?" Zuikaku therefor screamed, maybe a bit louder than necessary.

"Why do you care, turkey?" responded Enterprise, and – was that a blush on her face? It was hard to tell under the flames. Zuikaku however could have _sworn_ it was a blush.

"Turkey? I'll show you a turkey, you-" And then the public announcement system started playing 'This Girl is on Fire' by Alicia Keys. Starting with the refrain, of course. And at full volume. To Houshous and Fubuki's eternal relief, that was enough to shut the two of them up as they looked around to find the speakers and throw them confused glances. Also, the firefighters seemed like they were making progress. Maybe crisis in the form of a slap fight between a turkey and a burning carrier had been averted after all. Fubuki started sighing in relief.

And then Yamato burst through a wall.

"Who is playing this music?!" she demanded, eyes alight with fury and an aura of pure, concentrated doom around her.

Fubuki's sigh of relief was metaphorically murdered by 460mm guns.

v

"Say, Enterprise… What _was_ your dream of Kaga all about?"

"Uhh, you know how she's like, warm?"

"Yes…?"

"And you know how you feel that when you hug her?"

"Yes…?"

"Well, uh, yeah, that happened in my dream. And also a bit more. Oh, and if you ever, ever tell Yamato any of this, I will murder you in your sleep, capiché?"

"I see…" said Zuikaku and she turned and looked away. Somehow, that revelation really had hurt. But why? The damn fridge lover could appear in any person's dream she liked, so what was so unsettling about that? Zuikaku could not figure it out. Anyways, with Houshou's bar miraculously unscathed by the flames, she knew where to go now. It was still early in the afternoon, but fuck it, she needed a drink now.


	126. Rule 9791

_Rule courtesy of MendelevianDescent_

 **9791: Absolutely no summoning rituals are allowed on All Hallows' Eve!**  
 _  
October 31, 20xx, 2359hrs_

For once, all was quiet at the base, the Halloween festivities winding up for the night. Destroyers had gotten their fill of candy, the ghost stories and urban legends had been told all throughout dinner and past it, and by now most were tucked away in sound (or less-than-sound) sleep, a foolhardy few wishing to prove their mettle by camping out in the summoning chamber as a supposed hotbed of paranormal activity, the boundary between the visible and invisible realms.

Maybe they might be able to summon something, or rather keep anything coming out from returning whence it came. The plan was to stay up until 0300, but having eaten a great deal, the would-be ghost hunters / paranormal investigators had all fallen asleep beforehand, seemingly at peace at this late hour.

The clock struck twelve: 0000hrs, midnight.

There was silence for a while, and then a jarring, discordant sound jolted the Admiral out of sleep, out of his bed. Confused and half-awake, he stumbled through the room, trying to make out the source of the noise as he hastily got his slippers on, thrust his head out the door to see what all the fuss was about. And as soon as he had done so, the sound softened, resolved itself into the faint but unmistakable strains of music wafting through the corridors. It was a beautiful tune, morbid-sounding and eerie, but gracious and elegant all the same, like something one would hear at the Addams residence, but it was _midnight_ for goodness sake, his personnel ought to be sleeping at this hour, shipgirl or not!

But they weren't sleeping at this hour. As he made his way through the halls to find the source of the disturbance, he began spotting the shipgirls under his command leaving their rooms and heading towards the music as well. Which was all fine and dandy if their sleep had been interrupted, except they weren't walking: they were _dancing_ to it like guests at a ball, traipsing down the halls like a much classier version of a street parade.

As he passed them, tried to weave his way in and out of the waltzing throngs, the Admiral noticed the blank, blissful expressions on their faces, eyes glassed over as they glided and swayed and spun to the music. Pulling a cruiser aside, he waved his hand in front of her face, called her name. Nothing. Snapping his fingers before her proved equally futile, and even punching her in the arm gave no reaction. What was it about this music, he wondered as he let her go to follow that strange insistent tune, that had them hypnotized just so?

Part of him wanted to get to the bottom of this mystery, but another part of him dreaded what he might find if he did, especially as he saw the doors to the summoning chamber were ajar. The music was not issuing from inside, but the doors were swung outward - someone had come out of there without him knowing it, and if that had something to do with whatever the hell was going on... Was this some new Abyssal type or weapon?

The Admiral's answer was found when he arrived in the mess hall, where he found the tables cleared away, and his shipgirls taking the floor and dancing the night away as though under a spell. Those trooping in from the halls joined the fray without missing a beat, as though they had been rehearsing this for months beforehand. Fairies leapt off shoulders and caps, climbed out of pockets, taking full-sized ghostly form so that they too could dance with one another and with the ships they served on in this morbid, macabre celebration.

It was a disturbing, eerie sight, a waltz of the dead, where erstwhile enemies danced with one another as equals, where class and status and ideology no longer mattered. Germans danced with Brits, Americans with Japanese and Russians, Italians with French, the differences and enmities of ages past now forgotten and discarded. Recruits and veterans, grunts and brass, all who had served and fallen in battle now made merry irrespective of rank. Was not Death the great and final equalizer after all?

And black-robed and skeletal Death himself stood there atop a table, his presence impossible to ignore. It was to his tune and to his violin those assembled danced to, accompanied also by musicians past, orchestrating this one great fete at the time when the veils between the living and the dead blurred almost to nonexistence. And all shipgirls present, as incarnations of ships no longer extant and therefore dead in their own way, were therefore under his power to command, his to regale with the Dance of Death on this night of nights.

The sight might well have driven the Admiral insane had he been made of lesser stuff, and he pinched himself hard praying it was all a bad dream and that he would wake up to find himself still in officer training. Alas all he got for his troubles was a throbbing pain in his arm - and then his hand was grabbed and he found himself being dragged away to join the dancing, trying unsuccessfully to wrench himself free or to shake off his insistent partner.

The Admiral opened his mouth to speak, to protest, to scream, but only the sound of chattering teeth would come out as Death worked his violin without mercy and he was passed from partner to partner, the living caught up amidst the festivities of the dead, made to dance with them unceasingly to the unearthly music. He was trapped in the clutches of spirits corporeal and incorporeal, whirled round from one end of the room to the other even 'til he no longer had the strength go on, for if Death wanted a man he would have him one way or another-

 _Cock-a-doodle-dooo!  
_  
With a start, the Admiral awoke, heart pounding and his face and neck cold and damp, sheets clinging uncomfortably to him as he lay there catching his breath. Slowly, he kicked them away, got to his feet and got dressed, taking a good long look in the mirror before heading out down the halls, his mind a confused, dazed blur.

It was only daybreak, and there didn't seem to be many up and about at this hour from the looks of it. Everything seemed to be in order, with nary any evidence that there had ever been any night-long dancing in the building - had it all been a dream after all? The man couldn't help but breath a sigh of relief at the idea, as he entered the mess hall and found the tables in their proper places. Just a nightmare, just a nightmare...

That is, until he saw the violin and bow laid on one table, crossed like the bones on a Jolly Roger. An icy chill shot down his spine at the sight of it, like it was something vile and not to be touched, and as memories of last night came flooding back to him in that moment he decided that it would be the one night of the year nobody was allowed into the summoning chamber.

Let Death have the evening all to himself, he thought. No more invitations for him.


	127. Rule 9793

_Rule courtesy of Falkeno_

 **Rule 9793. Portsmouth Naval Dockyard isn't haunted, will you please stop screaming!**

It was Halloween in Portsmouth and the base was alive with festivities, the bases smaller ships dressed in adorable costumes, the larger ones in costumes that varied from acceptable to borderline nosebleed prompting, it was a textbook scene of a Halloween party, right up until the blood-curdling screams had drowned out the sound of the monster mash. Now at first most had presumed that it was some good quality sound effects to build the spooky atmosphere, right up until a stream of white-faced shipgirls and sailors sprinted into view, with looks of terror in their eyes!

"What is going on?!" Graham demanded as he pulled a random form out of the train of terrified party goers, finding his choice to be Royal Sovereign in a rather 'revealing' Pirate costume.

"G-gg-ghost!" Sovereign stammered, looking back in fear "It, it had white skin, like bone white, and a really old outfit, like what Queen Elizabeth's costume, and, and, it was like half of it wasn't there!" she explained the terror in her voice noticeable before she turned and continued running in fear, leaving Graham and most of Portsmouth in confusion, it sounded like a prank, but the fear seemed genuine, so either there was someone needing a beating, or less likely, there was a ghost running around the base.

"Alright! I need volunteers to check this out, Victory, Warrior and Minerva are in charge since they know the base like the back of their hands, any takers?" Graham asked pointing to the figures dressed as Horatio Nelson, the sexy warrior, and the Greek goddess respectively. What Graham didn't notice as he divided up the volunteers between the three, was the figure in the suit sneak off in the direction of one building in particular, she had a hunch about this, and she was willing to bet money on her theory, after all, Belfast knew a thing about monsters, and this wasn't one.

...

As Belfast entered the room she was looking for, the first things she noticed was the smell of old wood and the sound of the building's ventilation system, but then she heard a different sound, the sound of muffled crying, coming from behind the wooden structure that the building had been constructed for in the first place. Slowly Belfast crept around the structure until she found what she was looking for, the white-skinned, semi-translucent figure, dressed in the remains of a Tudor vintage dress, who was sitting on the floor, crying.

"Hey, there" Belfast greeted quietly, causing the figure to jump in surprise as she turned to face her; giving Belfast an idea of what had caused the panic amongst her colleagues, the girl had only half a face, the rest of it was translucent, like the rest of her body.

"Who, who are you?" The girl asked nervously as she pulled her legs tighter into her chest, clearly, she was more scared of Belfast, than Belfast was of her.

"My names Belfast; Bel for short, don't worry I'm not going to hurt you" Belfast explained as she moved closer "and I know who you are, you're Mary Rose" she added, receiving a surprised look from the old Carrack in question.

"How did you?" Rose asked, only to receive a smile from the cruiser.

"Well, when Royal Sovereign said you were wearing a Tudor like dress, I got suspicious, but it wasn't until she said half of you was translucent that I knew for sure" Belfast answered as she sat down next to Mary Rose.

"Yeah, I really scared them didn't I" Mary Rose noted, receiving a nod from Belfast "Its just that it gets lonely being on my own, and with it being Halloween I thought I could mingle without being noticed, but I guess this was a bit too much!" she exclaimed as she held up her completely translucent left arm, Belfast however simply looked at the poor girl, at all the damage her body reflected, and then an idea blossomed in her mind.

"Hey, I might have an idea to fix your 'ghost-like' issue, you want to try it?" Belfast asked already thinking about how best to put her idea into action.

"You think you can fix this?" Mary Rose replied, pointing to her left arm, receiving a nod from Belfast "Well it's worth a try" she noted as she got to her feet followed by Belfast.

"Here put this on, there are people looking for you, pretending that they're Ghostbusters!" Belfast explained as she gave Mary Rose her jacket as she led her out of the room.

"Whats a ghostbuster?" Rose asked, prompting a chuckle from Belfast as she made a mental note to lend the girl some of her film collection.

...

Admiral Graham stomped through the repair building, first, he had this whole ghost saga, then he'd managed to lose a visiting cruiser, and now someone was breaking into the repair bucket supply; finally, he reached the repair bath's, only to find Belfast pouring a repair bucket over a figure he didn't recognise, who was lying in one of the repair baths.

"What the hell are you doing!" Graham demanded, prompting the figure to jump in surprise, and a sigh from Belfast; Graham was furious, Belfast was meant to be the sane one, and yet here she was doing something crazy.

"Ah, Admiral, Allow me to introduce Mary Rose, formally the ghost-like figure that terrified everyone; she's sorry about that by the way" Belfast explained, before gesturing to the pile of empty repair buckets "And I would like to apologise for 'borrowing' some repair buckets, but I need them to fix Mary's problem with being partially see through" she continued as the anger drained away within Graham, as reasons went this was a good one.

"Carry on" Graham sighed as he turned and headed back to his office, he had an announcement to make, and a list of rules to update.


	128. Rule 9788

_Rule courtesy of TheBudgieAdmiral_

 **9788: There will be no more beach excursions for the purpose of, and I quote "appeasing the readership with a beach episode".**

It was an exhaustingly hot day at the west coast of northern America, and San Diego Naval Base was a mess of sweating, exhausted and frankly suffering men and women. ACs and fans were working overtime to provide relief, to no avail. Unsurprisingly, the heat was starting to take its toll on the sanity of the shipgirls stationed in San Diego.

"I tell you, this is the wrath of the readership!" Fletcher's voice broke Providence's absent and almost zombie-like stroll through the base's corridors in search for a cool spot she could sit in and rest. She was hot, nauseated, thirsty and tired from her recent voyage across the Pacific. An Abyssal carrier force had made its presence known in recent days, and numerous cargo ships had already fallen victim to air attack. Therefore, Providence had been ordered to escort convoys across the Pacific and into Pearl Harbor, as her anti-air armament was amongst the best in the fleet. The downside of these runs was that they were utterly mortifying, more so than normal in the extreme heat that seemed to currently reside over the Pacific.

"And I tell you to shut up already!" wailed Wiliam D. Porter at Fletcher's words. "Reality is a simulation and a bunch of adolescent teenage weebs are watching our shenanigans over the internet? Bitch please."

"It's not a simulation! It's a collection of stories! Like, a book, y'know?"

Providence scowled at that. What on earth could have made young Fletcher think up such crazy theories? Maybe she should alert Vestal after all.

"Yeah, whatever. I don't believe it. And now leave me to my agony, if you will."

"But I can prove it!"

Providence's interest was… Not really peeked, it wasn't even looking up from it's work. It just decided that listening to the destroyers' argument could potentially distract her from her suffering. And so she entered the room, making sure to announce her presence beforehand by knocking slightly on the door frame.

Inside she found William D. Porter sprawled onto a couch, a fan blowing hot air into her face, and Fletcher frantically gesturing with her hands and desperately trying to get her sister's attention.

"… And all we need to do to prove me right is go to the beach."

Now Providence's attention jolted awake.

Slowly, William D. Porter sat up and looked at her sister with flat eyes. "Go to the beach." she repeated slowly.

"Yes! Did you never hear of the beach episode? Every show needs one! It shows that the protagonists also do something else besides, I dunno, saving the world or whatever."

"Um, excuse me?" Providence said shyly. "Did you just say beach?"

v

It had not been easy to convince Admiral Holloway of the idea. Especially considering it came from Fletcher. Conversely, it had not been easy to convince Fletcher to, for once, keep her conspiracy theories to herself and just roll with the plan. But ultimately, it had worked, and so the majority of shipgirls in San Diego had received permission to visit the nearby Rendondo Beach, under strict supervision from Titanic and a couple of Coast Guard cutters. Conveniently, they had also forged a deal with the city's mayor and had locked down the beach for civilian beachgoers, as to prevent any onlookers from disturbing this rare moment of R&R.

That meant that Providence could now, for the first time ever, enjoy lying in a sunbed, wearing a bikini and slurping a cocktail, while having an excellent view of all the attending male (and, if she was being honest, female as well) personnel and officers. They, too, were scarcely clothed, after all, and oh boy, did Providence appreciate that fact.

For the time, her focus was on a group of recruits that were busily playing volleyball not far from her position. Because Providence had wisely invested in a pair of gigantic sunglasses, she could easily embrace the muscular beauty of the men without them noticing her stare. How had she not thought of this sooner? And beautiful they were indeed, especially one young man, who seemed to have abs capable of grating cheese and a very appealing tone of skin, seemingly from regular sunbathing and exercising. As she thought so to herself, she made sure to just ever so slightly adjust her position so that the men could in turn appreciate the beauty of her blue bikini.

She had just ordered her second cocktail when a high-pitched scream erupted from the water. Out there, a group of Fletchers had been happily indulging in an almighty splash fight. Now however, they came running for the dry land as fast as they could, screaming something on top of their lungs. Now, seeing as Providence had just been focused on gaping at the nicer specimen of the male base personnel, one might understand that her mind took a while to comprehend exactly what the destroyers were yelling. When it did however, she froze in shock.

"SHARK!"

Providence was on her feet faster than a Terrier missile and frantically looked around. Where were the lifeguards? The shark spotters? Why had no one seen the damn thing coming? It took her a moment to realize that, since the beach had been sort of confiscated by the Navy / Coast Guard, all the lifeguards had gone home. And the Coast Guard cutters? A glance over her shoulder revealed that the two of them were sitting at the bar, quite obviously shitfaced. Fucking fantastic.

Just as she considered summoning her rigging and blasting that pesky shark to kingdom come, Titanic ran past her, seemingly in slow motion, and then launched himself into the water in what Providence would later describe as "the manliest jump she'd ever seen". He swam past the group of Destroyers (again, in the most manly fashion) and then stuck his arm deep into the water. When he brought it back up, his hand clasped the swimsuit of Harder. The submarine was holding a waterproof camera and had a nervous grin on his face, at least as far as one could tell with the snorkel in the way.

"Uh, hi?" He tried.

v

"You did what?!" Admiral Holloway, clad in boxer shorts and a Hawaiian shirt, was visibly (although also very comically) enraged. Because, apparently, the camera that Harder had used to take the pictures had instantly uploaded them to a cloud. A cloud that he shared with Aoba of all people.

"I swear I did not take any lewd pics, feel free to check!" He said, hands gesturing defensively. Then, he hesitatingly added "… Okay, maybe a few slightly lewd ones. But not of the destroyers! I'm not a fucking pervert!"

"Why are you here in the first place?" That was Titanic, water still dripping from his body, much to Providence's joy. Gosh, he was just so manly! She blushed, and under her sunglasses, she stared starry-eyed at the British liner.

"You kiddin' me? Aoba will pay in gold for these pictures!"

"No. No she won't, because Goto will make her wish she'd never been summoned!" Holloway's head was flushed red and, had he been a shipgirl, his ears would have been venting steam by now. "Tell me why she wants these pictures!"

"Gossip! Relationships! Confessions! DUH!" Harder responded as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

"Uhh, Admiral sir?" A bikini-clad Wright walked up to Holloway, holding her smartphone in hand. "Seems we're too late. Aoba published her article a few minutes ago. And it's already got a good hundred thousand views and counting as we speak."

In the absence of a desk to bang his head against, Holloway instead elected to bang it against his hand.

"The news will eat us for fucking breakfast…" he sighed.

Wright scrolled futher down on her phone, and then seemed to do a double-take. Then she looked at Providence and blushed.

"What?" Providence demanded, rapidly becoming uneasy with the current situation. Wright looked at Admiral Holloway, then at Titanic. Both were busy lecturing Harder. She slowly walked over, and, blushing redder than a chili bean, handed Providence the phone.

There was a picture of her, in her blue bikini, standing on the beach. In the foreground, Titanic was darting through the water, while Providence's eyes seemed affixed on the liner's… lower backside. And her sunglasses did jack shit to hide it.

" _Heeey~_ "

Providence turned around to come face to face with Olympic and Canberra, her elder half-sister, both nothing but shadowy figures encased in an aura of pure anger. Oh, and their eyes were shining bright like stars in the night sky.

" _You have been a bad Providence_." they chorused in eerie unison.

"Eep." Providence squealed as she desperately tried not to cry.


	129. Rule 9824

_Rule courtesy of the BudgieAdmiral!_

 **9824: Following recent events involving the website "ShindanMaker", the Admiralty has learned of the gossip newsletter Aoba is running (see rule 9790). The Admiral has decided to tolerate this as long as the content is safe for destroyers and does not break any rules/laws.**

Ooyodo let out an exhausted sigh as she went over the damage reports of the last week. Wolf-Fubuki and her definitely-not-a-harem had prowled through the entire base in an attempt track down Aoba. Unfortunately, they seemingly had completely forgotten about the existence of walls, and so half the base's walls now featured destroyer-shaped holes. You could even tell which one had made which hole, because Yuudachi's hair tufts were distinctly recognizable.

Anyways, she had seen worse. Such as the time the Yubari twins had tried to create solid hydrogen. Urgh. She shuddered at the memory.

Anyways, the repair crews were working dual shifts again, Yuudachi, Mutsuki and Fubuki were kindly helping them, and the base should be as good as new by the end of the week. Which was good. The hole in the administration building's toilet walls was a major issue. Male and female toilets being side-by-side and all.

However, there was more to this than just repair work: After hours of prowling, the Fubuki wolfpack had eventually located Aoba in the basement, in an out-of-use storage closet. As far as hiding places go, it had been a good choice. What was worrying was the kind of hardware Aoba had locked herself in with: A computer and five old laser printers. There had also been stacks upon stacks of freshly printed newsletters in the room, discussing various topics but showing a clear preference for gossip and relationship updates.

Some had featured headlines such as "YamaPrise in trouble! Website unveils private information about their sex life!" or "Destroyer harem uncovered! Fubuki secretly a dominatrix?". Needless to say, Aoba was now docked up for a month.

And that was why Ooyodo had asked to speak to Admiral Goto.

v

"You had asked to speak to me?" Admiral Goto was sitting behind his desk, Admiral-of-my-heart coffee mug in hand, with a stack of paperwork in front of him.

"Yes." Ooyodo said, closing the door and stepping forward to face the Admiral before saluting. "Sir, I'd like to request Aoba be punished for her actions."

"Stand easy. Actually, scratch that, take a seat." Goto responded, smiling. Secretly, Ooyodo liked him for that. He almost never pondered on rank and proper etiquette, and that did wonders for morale on base. "What actions do you refer to specifically?" he asked as his secretary sat in the chair across from him.

"Her newsletter. The sort of gossip in there is unbecoming of a Japanese officer, if I may say so, sir. It's also detrimental to morale, so I think we should crack down hard on her, considering she had been punished for this sort of behavior before." Goto leaned back in his chair, his gaze studying his secretary cruiser. By himself, the Admiral thought she was a mysterious character. How she managed to deal with all the shenanigans his subordinates got up to would puzzle him forever.

After a few seconds of silence, he answered. "Nope, I decided to tolerate this for now." Ooyodo looked puzzled.

"But, sir… Why? She broke the rules with what she did, did she not?"

"Sure she did, and she will receive an adequate punishment, however I will not stop her writing." Goto's coffee mug landed smoothly on the table, and he grabbed a can from a sideboard and filled the cup with more steaming-hot black liquid. "You see, if we prohibit it again, she'll just find another way to undermine the rules. She has plenty of time to be creative and a very active mind. She'll find a way. Meanwhile, we're overworked as we are already and can't afford to constantly keep her in check."

"However, if we allow her to work, with certain restrictions imposed, I think she might just be satisfied with it. Then she'd stop trying to circumvent the rules and the problem would be solved."

Ooyodo's face was still doubtful. "Are you sure about this, Admiral?"

"I weighed the options for a while, and now I'm convinced it's worth a try, if nothing else. So yes, I am certain."

"Sir, I am still not convinced. I think she will just fall back to her old, destructive style of storytelling. Consider the effects on the morale around the base if that were to happen! I'm skeptical, to say the least, sir."

"Allright, I can live with skepticism, as long as you execute my orders." Goto blew over the coffee, tendrils of steam weaving and dancing over the cup on his desk. "Listen, let's make this a bet. If you're right, I'll find another aide for you. If I am right, you go on a week-long vacation." Ooyodo's face paled as she tried to interrupt.

"B-but Admiral, I-"

"You hate vacations, I know. But you need them. Time away from all this mess can only be good. And I could not deal with you going down the deep end. You're way too important."

"T-thank you sir…" Ooyodo said, cheeks red with an embarrassed blush.

v


	130. Rule 9559

_Rule courtesy of RandomPersonwithComputer_

 **9559\. Kongo, Kirishima, no matter how satisfying it may feel, you can't murder Hiei's ex. That's a surefire way to land yourselves in the brig.**

 **9559a. "Don't worry Onee-chan, imouto-chan. Haruna handled it."**

"Imouto-chan, how do I look?" asked Hiei. "It's not too gaudy, is it?"

"Onee-chan, you look perfectly fine." said Haruna, smiling.

"Just fine?" asked Hiei, causing Haruna to sigh.

"Fine as in drop-dead gorgeous, make every other woman invisible, that sort of thing." said Haruna. "Hiei, you're the fashionista of us all. Whatever you wear will knock Kito-san's socks off."

"I know," said Hiei. "but, I want this to be perfect."

"Oh?" asked Haruna. "Something special happening today?"

"Well, I'm not sure you're old enough to hear this one yet, imouto-chan." said Hiei with a grin, causing Haruna to playfully swat her with her magazine.

"Now I need to know." said Haruna. "Spill it."

"I'm thinking that tonight's the night me and Takashi-san make it to third base."

"Third base?" Haruna sputtered. "That third base?"

"Yes." said Hiei. "We've been at this for almost seven months now, and I think we're ready for the next step."

"Wow."

"Really? "Wow?" That's it?" joked Hiei. "No "Oh my God, my sister's purity!"?"

"That's Kirishima's thing." said Haruna. "I'm just happy that you found someone to share yourself with."

Hiei laughed. "I think Mutsu is starting to rub off on you, little sister."

"Perhaps." said Haruna, looking at her watch. "Say, it's almost three. You ready to go?"

"Almost. Just let me get my raincoat."br /br /Twenty minutes later...

"Alright." said Hiei, grabbing her bag from the backseat. "Takashi-san shouldn't get off shift for another two hours, so I have enough time to get everything ready."

"Everything?"

"Yeah. I'm gonna try that whole romantic candlelight dinner thing tonight. The website I used said that's the best way to get one into the mood."

Haruna laughed bemusedly. "Just don't burn the apartment down, onee-san."

"Hey!" said Hiei, swiping her little sister playfully. "That happened one time! And it was not my fault."

At Haruna's raised eyebrow, she wilted slightly. "Okay. Maybe it was half my fault. But, in my defense, either Kirishima-chan or Washington-chan should have marked that box flammable."

Haruna merely shook her head in amusement. "Just have fun, Hiei. Oh, and when you get back Monday, I want the details. All of them."

Hiei smiled and waved goodbye, heading up the stairs to Takashi's apartment, while Haruna stopped starting her car to answer a text from

Mutsu: Hey beautiful. You on your way back?

Haruna: Just about to leave. What's up?

Mutsu: Which sounds better? On Wings of Love or Journey to the Shore?

Haruna: How about Wings? Can't go wrong with the classics.

Mutsu: Ok. See you soon.

Haruna turned her Treuno over, but before she pulled out, she heard a door slam open, followed by a woman angrily shouting something. A woman who sounded very familiar. Looking back towards the building, she saw her older sister bolt down the stairs, followed by her boyfriend wearing only his boxers. Easily outpacing him, Hiei ran towards Haruna's car and jumped, not even fastening her seatbelt before telling her sister to floor it.

Once they had gotten a few blocks away, Haruna pulled into another parking lot and stopped the car, letting a sobbing Hiei bury herself into her arms.

"Takashi-san is," said Hiei through her tears. "having an affair."

At Haruna's choked gasp, she continued. "I heard noises when I walked in, and I caught him with another woman."

"Oh, Onee-chan, I'm so sorry." said Haruna as she held her sister close. "I'm so sorry."

"I thought he was the one." mumbled Hiei quietly.

...

A couple hours later, outside Takashi's apartment.

"Remember Kirishima, we have to be quick." said Kongou. "If he gets off a scream, we won't have enough time to do ti properly."

"Right, Onee-sama!" said Kirishima. "He will not make a sound!"

"Good." said Kongou grimly. "Now, I got some of the Yubari's more painful tools, so if we do this right, we can make this last a long tim-"

The sound of a hand pounding on the Aqua's door caused both battleships to jump. Turning to the driver's side, they saw a visibly breathless Haruna leaning against Kongou's car.

"Imouto-chan?!" gasped Kongou. "What are you doing here?"

"Stopping the two of you before you do something extremely stupid." panted Haruna.

"What?!" said Kirishima. "Haruna, you can't be serious! He hurt Hiei-chan!"

"You want him to get away with it?" asked Kongou incredulously. Hiei and Haruna were thick as thieves, and the only reason why they hadn't taken her along was becuase Haruna had refused to leave her older sister's side.

"No, but what the two of you are planning isn't going to solve anything."

"He deserves what's coming to him!" retorted Kirishima.

"He does, little sister." snapped Haruna. "But Hiei doesn't."

"Huh?"

"Think, both of you." continued Haruna. "Our sister is hurting. Badly. But, ultimately, which is going to hurt Hiei-chan worse? The fact that her boyfriend cheated on her, or that fact that two of her sisters ended up in prison for murder?"

Haruna's two sisters looked at each other, reason slowly overtaking the rage that had been built up in the both of them.

"You're right, Haruna-chan." said Kongou somberly. "We'd only hurt Hiei worse."

"We were just so..so angry." added Kirishima.

"I know, but killing Hiei's ex, no matter how satisfying it would feel, isn't going to help our sister. What Hiei needs right now is us by her side, to show that she's not alone. Right?"

Both her sisters nodded in agreement, so Haruna continued. "Now, why don't the two of you head back, and I'll follow in a few minutes. I really pushed my engine to catch up with you two."

As Haruna watched Kongou's car slip from view, she turned and walked up the stairs to Takashi's apartment. While killing him was completely out of the question, he had broken her sister's heart, something that she wasn't about to let go unpunished.

...

Kito Takashi grumbled as he went to answer his door, wondering if maybe Hiei had come back. Doing his best to look remorseful, he put some drops in his eyes to simulate tears while he thought up some cheesy heartfelt plea that Hiei could fall for. But, as he opened his door, he came face to face with a woman who wasn't Hiei.

It was far worse.

Having turned fully Abyssal while waiting for him to open the door, Haruna's hand clamped down on Takashi's throat, lifting him off his feet while she used her free hand to close the door.

"Hello, Takashi." said Haruna grimly.

Takashi's only response was a choked gasp as Haruna lifted him ever further off the floor.

"I just spent the last few minutes convincing my sisters not to kill you." continued Haruna. "So, now that that's out of the way, let's chat."

She loosened the grip on his throat just enough to allow him to breathe, but Takashi was still two feet off the ground.

"My sister fell in love with you." said Haruna, lowering Takashi until he was eye level with her. "She was ready to give herself to you earlier today, before she caught you in bed with a cheap woman, and I don't know when she'll ever be the same again."

Takashi was sweating bullets now as he felt Haruna's eyes boring into his soul.

"The only reason why you are still alive right now is because a cheating dog like you isn't worth the effort." said Haruna. "But, know this. If your lying, cheating ass comes within two miles of my sister ever again, you and I will have another "talk". And that time, I won't be so merciful. Is that clear?"

The tone of Haruna's voice scared Takashi to his core, and Haruna put him down in disgust as she heard him wet himself.

"I'll ask again, Takashi. Are we clear?"

"Yes! Yes!" whined Takashi. "Don't kill me, please!"

"Good." said Haruna, returning to her normal form. "In that case, there's just one thing left to do."

With that, Haruna backhanded Takashi, sending the cheat flying into his couch.

"That one's for my sister, you son of a bitch!"

 _"In all fairness,"_ she mused to herself as she drove back to the base. _"I only promised to not to **kill** him. **Harming** him on the other hand..."_

A few minutes later, she entered her house, and, bidding goodnight to her girlfriend, joined the rest of her sisters in Hiei's room

 _"Sleep well, onee-san. We're all here for you,"_ thought Haruna as she drifted off to sleep, holding Hiei in a protective embrace.


	131. Rule 9884

_Rule by AdmiralJohnnyReigns_

 **9884\. Sa Devil May Cry hype is still ongoing, but will you please stop playing Devil Trigger. This has cause a lot of people to dance and do in Dante's words CU REEH ZE things.**

US Naval Base Hawaii

Enterprise and company are playing the Devil May Cry series starting from 3,1,4 and 2. This was all thanks to SoDak introducing the series to her and other shipgirls.

"Well, looks like I manage to improve my skills playing Dante. SSS ranks everywhere." E said with confidence.

"Well, as much as prefer playing Dante, my Vergil play through has been decent." Yorktown humbly said.

"Heh, I did well on all characters even Trish and Lady, on the Hardest difficulty." SoDak bragged.

"DMC is a few months away. Damn so long, what do we do to keep the hype up." Yorktown questioned

"Reading reddit, DMC lore stuff, theories and etc are barely helping. Add to the fact that there is no trailer with V yet." E added.

"Ok then. Guess it's time to crank it to 11 and listen to their new song."

SoDak plugs her phone to the speakers and selects the song they'll listen.

"Play Devil Trigger"

When they played the song, they danced like crazy and even started mock fighting like the DMC characters.

"Yeahhhhhhhhh, this party is getting crazy...rock on..."

After the music is done...

"Holy... that was intense...the room's fucked up..."

"SoDak, I would recommend not playing that in parties, who knows what crazy stuff it would cause..."

Night time party

"So Dak, play us some tunes." Pennsy shouted

"Ok...hmmm... *goes to Devil Trigger*... I wonder *selects*.." - So Dak curiously wondered.

"Ok, here's a new tune that can make you go Cuh Ray Zeh... Let's get this party started..."

Soon, everyone danced to the music...but as it went by, chaos and destruction went with it. Everyone began doing crazy stuff like food fights, wrestling and other crazy antics.

"Oh shit...I didn't expect this song to cause hellish chaos..."

Admirals office...

"..and that's what happened. The song caused everyone to go nuts. I even saw some people doing Devil May Cry stuff."

"Wow... guess some of them are fans.." The Admiral replied

"Even you..look at that get up... that's V. You were mostly watching and reading a book as the chaos ensured.." SoDak said

"Well... chaos may show the chaotic and possibly true side of the person...and so it is written... I suggest that song not be played anymore.."

"Ye sir...*snicker*"

"Oh... yeah that song brought that part of me out..."


	132. Rule 9885

_Rule by Falkeno._

 **Rule 9885. Scapa Flow now has two mascots, their names are Frankenstein and Henry.**

The shipgirls Scapa Flow we're used to shouts of alarm, ranging from ones about an Abyssal attack, to ones about one of Vanguards experiment's going wrong, but what they weren't used too was the stream of panicked shipgirls chasing a rather dirty looking kitten and a puppy around the base. It had all started when someone had spied the pair leaving Vanguards workshop, which had been lying unused as she was currently in Norway with Tirpitz, unfortunately, it was at that time being used to temporarily store some of Provence's stuff that Admiral Masson had confiscated and sent to Scapa Flow for storage until they could be dealt with. Which had led to the immediate alarm, as the only logical conclusion was that these were some of the French Battleship's freaks of nature and that letting them roam wild wasn't in anybody's best interest, and so the chase had begun.

"C'mon how hard is it to catch two animals!" Britannic bellowed as he led the pursuit, being the base's medical officer, it was his responsibility to ensure that no threats that could endanger human life.

"Well they're small, fast and wily" Norfolk replied as they rounded the corner into an alley, only to find a brick wall at the far end, at last, they had the pair cornered, only for the pair dive behind a stack of bins, clearly trying to hide, "Ok you two out you come" she sighed as she pulled the pin out of the way.

"What the fuck?" Cumberland exclaimed as they saw that the pair had disappeared, "Where the hell did they go?" she added as everyone began to question how exactly the pair had escaped without being noticed.

"Guys look, that pipe looks big enough for them, any idea where it leads" Britannic noted as Norfolk bent down to look into the pipe.

"How about under the building and out the other side" Norfolk answered as she got to her feet.

"Shit, we've got to find those animals before whatever Provence did to them gets out" Britannic shouted, as everyone doubled back and split into groups to cover more ground "If you find them make sure you call hazmat, better safe than sorry" he added as he led one group in the direction of the hills.

...

The dirty Tabby kitten came to a holt under a table, with her friend, the equally dirty black and white Labrador-collie mix stopping beside her as they caught their breath; it had been quite fun running around being chased by all of the humans, but now all they wanted was a drink. And so quietly the pair moved through the building in search of water, eventually finding themselves in a room with row's of tables and chairs, and then they found what they were looking for, an open bottle of water set on top of one of the tables. Working together the puppy helped the kitten on to one of the chairs, from which she could jump up to the table, and knock the bottle over, allowing the water to spill onto the floor and table so that both of them could get a drink. However as the two drank, they failed to hear the sound of someone getting up and walking over to where the pair stood.

"Now what do we have here?" Belfast wondered as she picked the pair up, catching them both by surprise, "Alright let's deal with you two then" she sighed as she carried the two off, not noticing the alarmed noises from the pair.

...

"Bel, you in there?" Sheffield asked quietly, she and the others had spent the last 4 hours combing the base and the surrounding area, with no luck, so it had been declared an all hands on deck situation, and that meant getting Belfast, the duty of which had fallen on Sheffield. "Bel?" she repeated as she opened the door quietly, she didn't have to worry about seeing anything, Belfast was the one normal person in Scapa Flow. But what she saw surprised her; there, lying on her bed asleep was Belfast, with a now clean Black and white Labrador-collie mix puppy lying against her side and an equally clean Tabby Kitten curled up on her stomach. So stunned was Sheffield, that she almost didn't see the note on the table.

"Their names are Frankenstein and Henry, they are perfectly healthy and disease free" the note read. Sheffield looked at Belfast, then the animals and then the note, shook her head, and quietly closed the door, she'd tell everyone what she'd found, no one not even Britannic was going to argue with Belfast's judgement.

...

Some weeks later Provence was sorting through the confiscated materials and was starting to get concerned, she couldn't find two of her test subjects, she'd spent a lot of time and money extending their lifespans and increasing their intelligence, now she'd have to start all over again, if she could, that bloody cat and dog had been nothing but trouble since she'd made them.


	133. Rule 8722

_Rule courtesy of Allard-Liao_

 **8722\. Whoever discovered that Re-classes could do... that with their tails... No; just, no!**  
 **8722a. What's wrong? It's rather pleasurable for both parties. -Re-chan**  
 **8722b. I don't care. Even Iku was disgusted. Iku!**  
 **8722c. Well, our tails were designed to function as emergency field repair facilities, so- -Re-chan**  
 **8722d. Just. Stop.**

Bad days. Everyone has them. Those days when just nothing seems to go right. For most people, such days are a grand annoyance that results in large doses of stress and, at worst, poor performance at work or minor injury.

Kanmusu are not most people. When a Kanmusu has a bad day, limbs or even lives can be lost. A certain destroyer was having such a bad day.

The mission had begun rather well, with a handful of destroyers, cruisers, and battleships, including the allied Abyssal known as Re-chan, supported by two carriers and a few submarines (15 ships in total), being dispatched to beat back an Abyssal incursion into Vietnam.

The vanguard Abyssal ships had been routed or sunk quickly enough, with no allied casualties beyond insignificantly minor damage. Then they encountered the main force in the Spratly Islands, and all hell had broken loose. For among the abyssals were no fewer than four Re-class guided-missile aviation battleships, the same type Re-chan was. The powerful Abyssals quickly began to overwhelm the relief fleet, although the allied destroyers and submarines managed to sink one of them soon enough to return the momentum to a stalemate.

That was where we find our hero, the Imperial Japanese Navy's Mutsuki-class destroyer, Kisaragi. She wove around and through the waves, frantically dodging shellfire and bombs from Abyssal aircraft, along with the occasional torpedo. Kisaragi returned fire where she could, but that wasn't often, and her firepower wasn't the best.

Another shell splashed into water next to her, sending up a plume of sea-spray that washed over her. "Gah!" _Please let me get back._ After several minutes, just before she could reach the safety of allied lines, her luck ran out. A great, searing pain preceeded the detonation of her rigging as a bomb struck it. Her back felt as though it were all aflame as she collapsed to the surface.

She thought she could hear her name being called very faintly and see a friendly shipgirl break off and sail toward her, but her senses dulled, her vision blurring as seawater filled her eyes. The disgusting tang of spent oil was the last thing to touch her tongue as she went under.

However, come Hell or high water, her allies would not let the destroyer sink without trying everything they could. Something thick, yet pliable wrapped around her waist and hoisted her back to the surface. Breaking through the water, a pair of small arms joined the other object in wrapping her in a tight hug.

Re-chan stared at the destroyer in her arms. "Don't you dare die on me, Kisaragi!"

Little more than a pained groan was the slightly smaller girl's answer.

"Dammit!" The Allied Abyssal frantically whipped her gaze across the battlefield, where her more recent allies were throwing themselves against her former allies with renewed resolve at the severe damage dealt to one of their own. Satisfied that she wouldn't be shot in the back any time soon, the Re-class unwound her tail and examined the poor destroyer more closely. What she saw made her blanch.

The kanmusu's back was shredded, with only a fraction of her rigging remaining intact and her shirt held on by the sleeves. More worryingly, however, was the sickly mixture of blood and oil pouring out of dozens of wounds across her body. A decision need to be made, right that instant, and Re-chan made it. She let loose all of her planes and midget submarines and bellowed, "Cover me! I'm getting Kisaragi out of here!"

She didn't go too far, however, stopping at a lonely spit of rock a few miles behind the allied battle line. Very gently, she set the destroyer down on the rock and dispelled her rigging. A head of multicolored, but primarily blue, hair popped out of the water. "Is she gonna to be okay?" I-19, also known as Iku, asked, all traces of her usual lewd attitude gone.

Re-chan bit her lip. "I think she will, but…"

"She won't be able to ever fight again, will she?"

The aviation battleship shook her head. "Not unless…" The submarine perked up. "Promise you won't hate me?"

The blue hair swung around as Iku jerked back and shook her head. "If you have a way of saving her life, I don't think I'll care how you do it."

The Abyssal gulped. "Alright. Don't say I didn't warn you." She lifted Kisaragi's shoulders, eliciting another grunt of pain, and brought her tail around. After a moment to steel herself for the submarine's reaction, she launched the tail's mouth forward and over the destroyer's shoulders.

It was as expected. "What the hell are you doing?!"

"Short version." Her tail gulped, dragging in Kisaragi's small chest. "My tail has a regenerating reservoir of healing fluid. Works just like your docks." Another gulp, and the tip of the mouth reached the now-unconscious shipgirl's hips. "Part of our role as 'Re's: Emergency repair ships."

The lewdmarine looked truly disgusted as she looked on. "I… I just can't wrap my head around that. You eat ships to heal them?! That's… really gross!"

Re-chan's tail swallowed again, and the destroyer was engulfed to her knees. "Actually…" She couldn't help the color that came to her cheeks. "It feels… rather good for both parties."

I-19 clamped her hands over her mouth, her skin taking on a distinctly green palour. "I- I can't even… I'm leaving now, before I hurl!" With that, she dropped below the waves and was gone.

"…I'm sorry." With a final gulp, Kisaragi's feet slipped out of sight, and she was completely contained within Re-chan's tail. As the internal chamber flooded with the healing fluid, the Allied Abyssal re-summoned her rigging and turned back toward the battle. It was time for a big lie. She opened a radio channel to the leader of the task force. "New Jersey, I'm back from getting Kisaragi to safety, but my optics took a hit. I can still shoot, but I need help getting my shells on target. Can you help?"

"Can do."

The Docks at Corregidor Naval Base

6 Hours Later

The Chief Repair Technician had been asked to report to a secluded section of the base's Kanmusu dockyard used for Priority-One repairs for "undisclosed, but dire" reasons. This did not leave him feeling happy. When he arrived, he was greeted by one of the Allied Abyssals, a Re-class. She looked like her eyes had been damaged, but definitely not to the point that would necessitate her being here. "Alright. Why am I here?"

The Abyssal looked away in seeming shame before bringing her tail around. "Please keep this between us."

"Wha-?" Before he could finish the word, the tail, which he now noticed looked misshapen, pulsed and rippled. As he watched, a girl's feet appeared, coated in a viscous blue fluid. In less than a minute, a Japanese destroyer had been spat out and into the chamber's repair bath. Swallowing back bile, he looked from one girl to the other.

The Abyssal was hugging herself and generally making herself look small and nonthreatening. "It was all I could do to keep her alive. Please, save her."

With a clear job to do, the Chief's professionalism reasserted itself and shunted his disgust to the back of his mind. "We'll do what we can. I can promise you that."

"Thank you."

Fleet Activities, Yokosuka

Three Weeks Later

It had been a long and arduous process, but Kisaragi had managed to make a full recovery and was now sailing back home under her own power. When she had arrived, she had, naturally, been dog-piled by all of her extremely grateful sisters in the Mutsuki class, who all rattled off their thanks that she had come home.

From a distance, a girl in a hoodie had watched the celebration with a small smile on her face before she had turned and departed for the guest room she had been given for the duration of her visit to Yokosuka.

As she was preparing to pack what few belongings she had brought with her, there was a knock on her door. Puzzled, she walked up to the door and opened it. To her surprise, there was Kisaragi, her hands woven together. "Oh. Kisaragi. What brings you here?"

"I never got to thank you for saving me."

The Allied Abyssal rubbed the back of her head. "I just did what I-"

"I remember how it felt."

A lump formed in Re-chan's gut.

"Warm. Soft. Safe." She kicked against the ground. "Any chance I could… feel that, again?"

The battleship tilted her head. "Oh? So, you liked that, did you?" The destroyer nodded. _This changes quite a lot_ "Well then, I'm sure you have a lot of plans for tonight, considering how your sisters welcomed you back, but…" She reached out, leaned forward, and tilted Kisaragi's chin upward with a finger. "...I'd be happy to, _accomodate_ , you, tomorrow." At the eager nod she received in reply, she giggled. "Tee hee hee. See you then, cutie." Re-chan closed the door as Kisaragi walked away, both looking forward to the next night. As she sauntered over to her bed, the Abyssal made a mental note to contact Admiral Suwabe and get her leave extended for another two nights. _Or more._


	134. Rule 9914

_Rule courtesy of TheBudgieAdmiral_

 **9914: No, the movie "Abyss" does not tell the Story of the Abyssals and why they hate humanity. The Abyssals are not made by the aliens in the movie in stead of the gigantic waves. And no, the Abyssals don't operate out of a gigantic underwater city.  
9914a: We think.  
9914b: We** ** _hope_** **.**

Dear Mr. Cameron!  
After viewing your much-acclaimed blockbuster movie "Abyss", we (the allied Abyssal fleet) have decided to come together and compile a document complimenting and also criticizing many elements of the movie.

Firstly, the more scientifically literate amongst us would like to compliment you on your accuracy in portraying life in an underwater deep sea drilling rig. WOrktown watched it in San Diego and Alvin especially seemed to be fascinated!

However, he also did not hesitate to point out that, to maintain a moonpool at such depths would not only require a very high interior pressure. Furthermore, any change in depth by the base (such as experienced when the Deep Core fell down the cliff edge) would result in the flooding of the moonpool room due to change in exterior water pressure.

Another point of criticism is the depiction of the military in the movie. Most military personnel is depicted as almost cartoonishly evil, which is frankly not true. The movie seems to agressively promote a "Make love, not war!" agenda. Every soldier to ever enter combat is branded a bad person by the film, which is not an entirely accurate and grossly oversimplified view.

Also, we strongly advise against the viewing of the movie by the more emotional shipgirls, especially by the submarines. The footage of the sunken wreck of the SSGN USS Montana is graphic in places and has caused many bouts of PTSD amongst the submarines of various bases.

The same goes for any of the Crossroads veterans. The movie shows footage taken from these tests, the Germans had to coax Prinz Eugen out of her room with a literal ton of pudding and Nagato has remained catatonic.

Lastly, we'd like to clarify a thing: No. No, Abyssals don't live in a gigantic underwater city. You won't believe how often we've heard this now.

On this note, we'd like to congratulate you for the movie's success and wish you and your Career the best of luck for the future!

Signed, allied Abyssals and shipgirl compliment.


	135. Rule 9956

_Written by yours truly!_

 **9955: Someone please figure out why we summon certain ships or Admiral Goto will go mad!**  
It was a calm peaceful day at the naval base in Kure. But the calm and peaceful had Admiral Goto on edge. Something was going to happen that would shake his life up once again. Ever since he'd taken command his whole days were filled with MSSB fulled insanity of one kind or another! So when he had the few rare quiet days, it had him on edge. That's when the knock sounded on his door. With his girlfriend away on patrol, Goto briefly thought of his liquor stash and just what combination of cocktails he would procure from it.

"Come in." He said.

The door opened admitting Nagato. _"Uh oh."_ Goto thought. The base's secretary ship looked a bit nervous, shuffling her feet and looking down at her toes. _"Double uh oh!"_ Goto's suspicions went up. "What mayhem has occurred now Nagato?" He asked.

"Mayhem? Not exactly mayhem no but, well. You know we had the summoning this afternoon." She began.

"Don't tell me we got a shipboy?" Goto's worst fear was that there had been another incident like Titanic. By SecNav if they ever had anymore shipboys...

Nagato disrupted his chain of thought. "No, no shipboys this time. Although I think this could be considered just as bad maybe even worse."

Goto raised an eyebrow. Worse than shipboys. Now this was going to be interesting. Nagato gestured with one hand, and another shipgirl appeared. She was a head shorter than Nagato but if anything the height difference only encouraged her. She bounded through the doorway with grace and efficiency. The first thing that struck the Admiral was her appearance. She was distinctly Scottish. With red hair, pale skin and strikingly blue eyes. He had no trouble identifying her. Her uniform was more than enough. She had a matching black shirt and cap on and both had a very familiar logo on it.

Oh this was bad. This was very very bad! This was as bad if not more so than the time his whalers had somehow summoned Ady Gil. While the speedy trimaran was relatively well behaved for a ship who had a reputation for trouble, the ship in front of him was one who would go looking for trouble, get in the thick of it, and give it her all to come out on top.

 **9955a: "Please tell me this is a dream!"~ Suffering Teikuto**

 **9955b: "I am afraid that I am not a figment of your imagination Admiral."**

Westra stood at attention, offering a quick salute. Her military training from her days as a protection vessel thankfully carrying over. At least she understood the importance of rank. "MY Steve Irwin reporting for duty sir! But call me Westra."

Only now did the Nagato Goto knew come out. She wrapped her arms around Westra with a squeal. "She's so cute! Can I keep her?" Westra did not like being held by the excitable battleship but there was no way she could break free of her grip. Nagato was too big and too strong so she resigned herself to being cuddled.

"No Nagato you may not." Goto sighed. "Take her to the merchant barracks and for god sake, keep her away from the whalers!"

"You're keeping whalers on base?" If anything, Westra sounded more curious than angry.

"Yes older ones, and you're not to disturb them, understood!"

"Well what if they disturb me?" Westra asked.

"Well, then you can respond appropriately _and proportionally."_ Goto said.

"Yes admiral."

 **9956: Westra, stop throwing those bottles at people you don't like!  
**  
Nagato was pleased to show Westra around, practically dragging the Island-class across base. Westra eventually stopped digging in her heels and for the sake of preserving her engines, gave up trying to stop the battleship from doing what she pleased. All was well, until they came into the mess hall. Most of the warships were either sleeping or on patrol with just a handful present to mind the merchants who had crowded the place. And at one table sat a familiar batch of girls.

Westra titled her head to the side as she listened to what they were saying.

"Well I think he was a sham!" said Nybraena. "I mean, for him to put his ship right in front of another and then when it gets hit, blame the other ship's captain..."

"I totally agree." said a dark haired woman whom Westra recognized as the pirate whaler Sierra. "Paul may have the guts to issue a challenge, but when we push back, he cries foul!"

Westra fumed. There was laughter at the table as each ship took on a varying mocking role and it only served to make Westra angrier.

"Oh no, the Japs have fought back. What shall I do?"

"Haha, you stink'? Yeah right, we're whalers, we always stink!"

Westra was unaware that she had moved until she heard Nagato call for her to come back. She ignored the battleship, marching up to the table with all the fury a Scottish bred ship could have. She gave the girls an icy glare. "Care to repeat your words?" She asked in a deathly calm voice.

It was Nybraena who spoke up first. "Hey, what's it to you... oh." The oh was her recognizing who the newcomer was.

Westra didn't give her the chance to respond. "My name is MY Steve Irwin, you have insulted my captain. Prepare to be stink bombed!" And with that she grabbed a bottle from her stores and broke it over the whaler's head. The others got the same treatement.

Their reactions were as amusing as their squeals.

"Ah it's in my eyes!"

"It burns, _it burns!"  
_  
"Get it off me! Get it off me!"

"This stuff _reeks!_ Oh, I'm gonna hurl."

As they all ran out, Westra became aware of everyone staring at her. The remains of the broken bottles littered the floor and it didn't take long before the smell permeated. Some shipgirls made it to the toilets. Some didn't. But all ran outside in desperation for clean, breathable air. Only Westra remained behind, chuckling to herself as she cleaned up the mess she had made. "Well that was fun." She said.

Later she was taken before Admiral Goto who did not seem pleased and not just with her either. "I told you not to take her near the whalers." He scolded Nagato. Westra was quick to jump in to the battleship's defense. Nagato might have taken her into the mess hall but it was Westra who had acted out.

 **9956a: "They insulted my captain! They had it coming!"  
**  
Admiral Goto raised a brow and she continued. "You said I could respond appropriately if they acted out."

"Appropriately, which is not dumping six bottles of butaryic acid on their heads. It will take weeks to make the mess hall livable again." He sighed. "Nevertheless, I see you acted with what you assumed was the spirit of your orders. Just, don't do this again."

"Yes sir." She replied automatically before a new thought came to her. "What if they insult me again though? Can I at least punch them?"

Goto groaned.  
 **  
9956b: "I have not had enough to drink for this..."**


	136. Rule 9997

**Rule 9997. When work on a shipgirl is ordered, it is an order!  
**

 _By Falkeno_

It wasn't the first time that the residents of Scapa Flow had been found chasing one of their fast heavy units across the base, normally Vanguard as she was the resident science girl. But for once that wasn't the case, instead, the subject of today's pursuit was the battlecruiser HMS Hood, one of the more famous and debatably saner residents of the base.

Now the reason for the chase was rather simple, A few months prior Vanguard had conducted an unauthorised but appreciated modernisation on Iron Duke, involving removing her Q Turret to make space for new engines, replacing the remaining guns with spare 14-inch guns from the KGV's, and other modern (for the 1940's) technologies. This had then led to a much-needed and complex modernisation of the Revenge's, which had involved 'lengthening' them to fit new engines, and other minor modifications which had brought them up to the standards of the now all modernised Queen Elizabeth class. This had, of course, led to the inevitable order for Hood to be given her long overdue modernisation, unfortunately, Hood had responded to this order by running away at top speed, and refusing any pleas to stop, hence the chase.

"Hood slow down!" Jamaica called as she and the other fast cruisers chased after Hood, who simply blanked her as she kept running, the problem with trying to catch Hood, was that she was a battlecruiser, meaning fast enough to outrun anyone who could overpower her, and stronger than anyone that could. The only way they could catch her, was for the cruisers to pin her down, so that Monarch, Princess Royal, Vanguard and a visiting Tirpitz, the only battleships fast enough to keep up, could catch her.

"C'mon Hood you know its good for you" Sheffield called as she began to slow, unfortunately, Hood was doing a pretty good job of keeping them at a distance, and so the cruisers were beginning to drop back as they ran out of energy, but the rest knew that if they were starting to slow down, Hood couldn't be far behind, after all her engines were one of the planned changes in the modernisation.

"Leave me alone!" Hood screamed as she gave one final push, and opened the distance on her pursuers until they too finally dropped back as well.

"Fuck! what are we going to do now!?" Jamaica wheezed as Vanguard caught up to them.

"Its ok, her engines can't take that strain, all we have to do is wait for her to stop, then we'll grab her" Vanguard replied as she came to a halt, followed by Tirpitz, Monarch and Princess Royal.

Hood came to a halt in a gasping heap as she clutched her side, that last burst of speed had screwed her engines up badly, and now she was paying for it.

"Really? Wrecking your engines just to get out of a rebuild?" Belfast asked as she stepped out of the shadows, causing Hood to mentally swear, Belfast had a habit of sneaking up and surprising people, her and her bloody advanced radar.

"Oh fuck off Bel, I'm not getting cut open just because I'm apparently 'old'! how would you feel, getting split open and having things done to you!" Hood snapped back as she tried to straighten up, only to grab her side again, Belfast, however, frowned before replying.

"Ok, 1, You literally blew up because you didn't get your deck up-armoured like you were meant to be in your rebuild, your not old you need this rebuild" Belfast replied, before taking a deep breath, and mentally steeling herself before continuing, "And 2, I know what its like getting rebuilt, and I'm not just talking about the one in the '60s!" she continued as she remembered the worst 3 years in her life, "So don't give me that, now the question is are you going to go get this refit like an adult, or are you going to get dragged to get it like a child?" Belfast asked, prompting Hood to weigh up her options before replying.

Resource hummed to herself as she sorted her tools, she was still waiting for Hood to turn up for the procedure and was starting to get bored. At that moment, however, the door burst open revealing Belfast holding the door open.

"Ok she's here" Belfast announced as Vanguard, Tirpitz, Monarch and Princess Royal carried the squirming and gagged form of Hood between them, "I'd suggest giving her something, she's been fighting us since we grabbed her" she added as the four battleships placed Hood down on the table, and held her there whilst Resource fetched a syringe.

"I don't know why your trying to escape, there's four of us and one of you, besides Belfast pinned you down on her own before we got you" Monarch noted as Resource stuck a needle in Hood's neck, and administered the strongest sedative possible; Hood, however, made one last bid for freedom only for her vision to go black as the drugs took hold.


	137. Rule 10,000

**Rule 10,000: Phoenix has somehow managed to tap into various cultures' voodoo and summon** _ **volcano**_ **spirits as kanmusu. We don't know if we should applaud you or scrap you for this!**

 _Lady Pearl_

Phoenix and South Dakota were at it again. There was no need to describe what 'it' was. The two kanmusu generally stayed clear of each other in their experiments. South Dakota was often off enhancing the genius of Tesla, bringing to life some of the Serb's more outlandish ideas. And Phoenix... was Phoenix. Always blowing stuff up! It was rare for the two to come together for a specific project and even more worrisome for the Admirals who had suffered many a gray hair dealing with the aftermaths of such incidences. So this time, there were no chances taken. Handlers were deployed. Oregon, the more responsible of the science!shipgirl fleet and Edward, assigned handler to Phoenix and Columbia.

With the latter out of the lab for maternity leave, Phoenix was left on her own devices. Things around the lab had swiftly gotten boring without her partner around to act as the brains of the operation and/or test subject. And a bored Phoenix, was the worst kind of Phoenix!

Her current project, to bring to life certain aspects of Hawaiian culture. The idea had been circulating in her mind since the day she had first set eyes on the islands. If shipgirls could manifest as human, why not something far more important to a culture. Why not the spirit of a volcano? The Greeks had a name for it, Hephaestus the God of Fire and Blacksmithing. It was said that whenever he stoked his furnace, Etna would erupt. Phoenix, always a devout worshipper of the flame, fell in love with the idea and that of the Hawaiian's Pele. Volcanoes had a godly spirit inside them and it would be she who would summon them.

She made one last check of her materials before beginning the ritual. She had composed it out of several different languages for maximum results. First a chant in Hawaiian, an appeal to Pele. Then a song in Ancient Greek, a tribute to Hephaestus. Followed by a cry to Vulcan in Latin.

She did this for days while South Dakota continuously laid out fresh wreaths, repair buckets, anything that might entice a god or goddess to grant them this request. Edward stood by, ready to intervene should anything go, wrong. Although wrong might not be the right word when dealing with volcanoes. He wondered just who had authorized this before deciding that the Admirals were so tired of trying and failing to corral Phoenix that they had instead decided to just let her have her head and be ready to spare their energies for cleaning up the mess afterwards.

His attention diverted, Edward missed the circle glow as something began to happen within it. The water started to boil and froth, hot ash spewed forth from surface caused by the interaction between the water and something very, very hot below!

"Um, I think its working." South Dakota said as Phoenix paused in her chant. Then there was a bright flash that left all three kanmusu momentarily blinded.

When their vision cleared they could see three distinct shapes, all female standing at the edge of the pool. One was Hawaiian, the second European and the third was Native American. And all looked very, very _pissed!_ "How dare you disturb us! Take us from our home!" Snarled one. "Who are you to make such a demand?" Cried another.

"My name is USS Phoenix, CL-46 of the United States Navy. This is USS South Dakota, BB-57. And Edward, a 440 Tender engine who closely resembled a D34." Phoenix hoped she sounded braver than she felt.

"Hmph. I, am Kilauea, home and hearth to the Goddess Pele." Said the first, a Native Hawaiian dressed in traditional hula garb.

"I am Etna, the Great Mother to the People of Sicily." said the second, a fair skinned blonde with eyes that matched the color of lava.

"And I am Loowit, Keeper of the Fire. I am the Wise Old Woman of Words. Ask a question child, and I shall have the answer for you." The older woman was very beautiful, despite the scarring on one side of her face. Phoenix was at a loss for words. Fortunately, Edward, ever the British gentleman like his ocean liner counterparts, stepped forward. "Would you like to join us for tea?" He asked.

None of the science team could know the effect their little stunt would have on the rest of the world. Phoenix's summoning had created a dimensional rift that was small at first, but it got larger and larger, and larger...

...

 **Rule 10,000a. No summoning God, that way lies madness!**

 _Falkeno_

Vanguard gave a satisfied sigh as she plugged the last cable into the machine. It had taken weeks to put the thing together, broken up with the odd breaks with Tirpitz, but finally, it was finished, a machine which would answer all of the questions that had emerged over the years.

"Ok, it's ready to go, you guys set?" Vanguard asked to the assembled shipgirls present, a mixture of the religious types, conspiracy theorists and the odd couple of people who were simply bored and looking for entertainment.

"Yeah, fire it up!" they replied, It wasn't everyday you met God after all.

With a low whine, the machine came to life, spewing purple lightning from its coils as its punched a hole in reality, shortly followed by a ball of energy forming in the centre of the room. At last a huge purple flash erupted from the congealed mass of energy, which then promptly dissipated, revealing a man in his early twenties, with short dark brown hair and a full beard, in jeans, a grey T-shirt, a peacoat, and wearing a pair of glasses. And he looked really confused.

"God?" Vanguard asked hesitantly, causing the man to jump slightly before turning to face them.

"Not exactly..." the man replied in an untraceable English accent, prompting a groan from one of the girls.

"Oh great, God's Southern!" Anson cried, receiving some indignant looks from those around her. Unnoticed, the man began scanning the room for an escape route.

"No, he isn't, he's Cockney!" Sheffield replied as the room descended into chaos, desperate to decode the man's indecipherable accent. Eventually, Vanguard put some order in place.

"Hey, shut the hell up!" Vanguard barked. "And can we get back to questioning God-" the battleship froze mid-sentence as she turned back to the man, only to find him absent. The only sign of him was that the door to her lab was ajar. "Where the fuck is he?!" she shouted.

...

The man stopped to catch his breath, mentally reminding himself that he really needed to exercise more. The man had few a names, some given, others chosen, but when it came to shipgirls, his name was Falkeno.

"Ok, so I've somehow ended up in a fictional place, with a bunch of nutjobs with really big guns," Falkeno muttered to himself before slapping his cheek "And I'm definitely not asleep, and that this is fucking real!" he added as he rubbed his now sore cheek. Before he felt a distinctive vibration from his pocket, and pulled his phone out; it had been vibrating constantly since he'd made his escape, and he wanted to see why.

It seemed that in his absence Discord had gone mad. There must have been 100+ messages, and all of them were about the same thing, duplicates of shipgirls seemed to be running amok back home. The weird thing though was that there were multiple different stories going on: some were saying that they were attacking, others that they'd had friendlyish run-in's with shipgirls (in the case of Sarge, he even encountered a duplicate of himself), and he even found some messages from himself that he definitely hadn't sent.

"Ok, this is getting weird," Falkeno mused. Any further thoughts on the matter, however, were promptly put aside as he heard the sounds of running behind him. "Oh shit, I need either a disguise or somewhere to hide!" he swore, only to then see a rucksack with a sailors uniform sticking out of it. That definitely hadn't been there before, nor the conveniently unlocked and empty office beside it. "Huh, guess I am God then!" he smiled as he grabbed the bag and ducked inside.

...

"C'mon he can't have got far!" Howe shouted as she led the hunt for the man, which had ended up in one of the office buildings around Scapa Flow. Unfortunately, the trail had gone cold and so it had now turned into a rather large game of hide and seek. Opening an office, she found a sailor halfway into a filing cabinet, searching for something.

"Excuse me, have you seen a guy running around the base? Grey coat, brown beard, look like he was in his early twenties?" she asked politely.

"Ey, I saw a guy like that about ten minutes ago, think he was heading for the warehouses." The man replied in a Scottish accent as he wrote something down on a piece of paper, before digging further into the filing cabinet. "I'd love to help, but I need to find this bloody file." Howe wasn't listening; she was already heading for the door.

"C'mon, he's at the warehouses!" Howe shouted as she led the other shipgirls outside.

As the last girl left, Falkeno surfaced from the cabinet. It was a good thing he could pull off a Scottish accent, better that than his Kenneth Williams impression. It also helped that he had literally written 'Falkeno put on a credible Scottish accent as he sent Howe and the others the wrong way, with Howe buying the whole thing, hook, line and sinker'. "Right, now to figure out how to get out of here!" Falkeno muttered as he collected the rucksack with his clothes, and began backtracking to Vanguard's now empty lab, arriving to find the place deserted. "Rignt, now how do I work this thing?" he groaned and started hitting buttons at random. His frown quickly changed into a smile, however, smile as the machine sprang to life. Only for a voice from behind to ruin his joy.

"Ha, found you!" Howe screamed in triumph and began charging him down. Falkeno, acting on instinct, quickly grabbed the first thing that came to hand, only to sigh when he saw all he had was a cricket bat. But better than nothing, he thought and so he swung at the charging battleship, only to send Howe flying high into the air and quite conveniently landing on the other attacking shipgirls, surprising him, Howe's unfortunate victims, and possibly Howe herself (not that anyone knew her opinion on the matter seeing that she had been knocked stone-cold). After his brain had computed what he'd just seen, Falkeno gave the bat a caring stroke before returning his gaze back to the task at hand.

"Oh, hello!" Falkeno purred as he turned to find the large red ACTIVATE button greeted him. He was on the brink of pressing it when he froze at the sound of the unmistakable click of a pistol being cocked.

"Drop the bat and get on your knees!" Collingwood barked, as he and a rather large force of armed soldiers advanced. The shipgirls who had been Howe's unfortunate victims had also recovered and were closing in as well.

"Oh come on! I'm just trying to go home!" Falkeno shouted as he turned, stealthily reaching for the button now behind his back.

"I don't care! You have a lot to answer for!" Collingwood growled back, as he took aim, "Surrender now, you've got no escape!". But the young man wasn't about to throw in the towel in just yet. He still had one trick up his sleeve, and he just hoped it would work.

"Yeah about that," Falkeno smirked as he pictured everyone's weapons falling to pieces and an invulnerable barrier forming between him and them. And as his wild imagination quickly became reality, confusion broke amongst the soldiers and shipgirls as they looked down at their dismantled weapons and then at him before rushing him, only to hit the barrier.

"What did you do!" Collingwood demanded as he pounded on the barrier, Falkeno, however, smiled before replying.

"Didn't you get the memo? I'm God!" Falkeno smirked before he slammed the button down "Now I'd like to say it's been a pleasure, but it hasn't, and it's time I bid you adieu-" he grinned turning, only for his smile to fade as he noticed a figure near the door, one who he had put through hell, and whose story he already had planned. He'd felt guilty for what he'd done to her, and she didn't deserve everything that was in store for her. Falkeno turned to her and opened his mouth in apology when there was a flash of purple, and he vanished into nothingness, leaving only a smoking heap of scrap where Vanguard's machine had once been.

"Ok, what the hell is going on?" Belfast asked, confused as to what she'd just seen, only receiving silence in response. Everyone was still in shock, and judging by the shrapnel about them, and that no one was in no condition to explain the madness that had just unfolded. She sighed before turning to leave, wondering exactly who the mysterious man had been.

Why had he'd given her such a guilty look? Just who was he to her? These were questions that she'd never have answered.

...

 **10000b: South Dakota's inter-universe portal machine is to be disposed of in the Marianas trench ASAP… Wait, what do you mean we're too late?!**

 _TheBudgieAdmiral_

The room was filled with mad, cackling laughter as the Americans' resident SCIENCE!lady South Dakota flipped switches and pressed buttons. The dimly lit storage space was drenched in blue light emitted by a frankly gigantic Tesla coil that was spewing out sparks longer than South Dakota's arm. She hasted from one side of the device to the other, flipping switches, checking dials and checking output graphs on the wall of screens around the device.

It was ready.

"Heu-!"

"SOUTH DAKOTA!" The voice of Admiral Holloway overpowered the sound of the tesla coil. Impressive, for a human throat. He was standing in the elevator door, the light of the coil working gave his eyes an evil shine. Or was it the anger? South Dakota could not tell.

"I DON'T KNOW WHAT THIS IS, BUT I WANT IT DESTROYED!"

"B-But Admiral, this could allow us access to infinite resources!" South Dakota wailed. The Admiral did not flinch. "Infinite shipgirls!" No flinch. "Infinite lewds?!" South Dakota was getting desperate. Don't blame her. More importantly, Holloway did not move.

South Dakota sighed. She had worked years to acquire the materials necessary to replicate the Philadelphia experiment! She had accompanied Eldridge on a trip to a parallel universe as training! She had seen things… Such things… And she would be damned if this all had been for nothing! This was the work of her life, and she'd do anything but let her Admiral oppress her again! She was going rogue! Maybe other Admirals would be more appreciative and supportive of her talents!

"FUCK THE POLICE!" South Dakota shouted, and flipped the last switch.

The tesla coil became blinding light as the sparks, now easily ten meters long, jumped to a spot in the middle of the room. Where previously nothing but air had been, there now was a… Window? Door? It was hard to describe with words.

A large, oval, purple frame that seemed to consist of pure lightning was hovering in the air. And South Dakota was running towards it.

"SODAK NOOO!" Holloway yelled, but it was too late. The SCIENCE!girl had jumped through the ring.

Unfortunately just in time for an alarm to go off. Fucking great. Holloway thought as he went over the dozen screens in front of his. All were flashing red warnings at him: "Containment failure!" "Power requirements exceeding specifications!"

And then the portal to his side began to grow. Yes, grow. It started getting bigger and bigger and bigger, getting faster as it went. Soon, the entire base saw the portal as it went straight through the main building. Not a minute later, Cape Canaveral was puzzled as to why the ISS crew could be reporting a purple arc over San Diego. And not a minute after that, an alien intelligence on the outer fringes of the galaxy had found proof of intelligent life in the universe, as the galaxy was split in two by a purple border.

[Time to harvest.]

v

Akagi stared in disbelief at the purple wall that separated her and Kaga. "What is this thing?" her muffled voice said. Kaga did not respond, for she had no answer. "C-can I walk through this?" she asked and took a step forward.

"Akagi-san, be careful." Kaga warned and eyed the purple wall with distrust. Akagi had now almost reached it. "Akagi-san!"

And then she reached it, the front half of her body disappeared, unveiling her intestines in a gruesome sort of cutaway section from hell, and then she took another step and was gone.

"Akagi-san!" Kaga cried, and looked around the room, panicking. Well… What did she have to lose?

Kaga took a deep breath, steeled herself – and stepped through the wall of light.

v

In another universe, in an insignificant town somewhere near Munich, I am busy typing out stuff on my computer. It's autumn, the cold air coming in through the windows necessitates wearing a nice cozy jacket. I pinch my itching nose for a second, then my fingers return to the keyboard.

Multiple tabs are open on the screen, one of them is Discord, where I communicate with other "enlightened people" on the matters of shipgirls. Another is an album I'm listening to for the third time in a row now. It's an album by the group "SPC ECO", and it fits nicely as a backdrop to writing stuff or just thinking about stuff. The third tab is pictures of Kaga. Tons of pictures of Kaga. Because Kaga is by far the best character to come out of KanColle, especially the anime. Anyone who opposes my belief shall feel the power of my angrily voiced essays. Hah.

"Are you once again being lazy and not contributing to society or advancing your career in any meaningful manner?" Sometimes I wonder why I bother defending her. She can be incredibly frustrating to deal with. And it's not as if she is wrong either…

I turn to look at Kaga. She's leaning against the wall, her arms crossed in front of her body, in her usual white kimono outfit. How she manages to keep that thing clean for months on end is beyond me.

"Yup." I say, smiling a 'hello' at the fleet carrier. Her expression doesn't change.

"Kaga, please be kind with him, he's just insecure, you know?" Zuikaku to the rescue. She is a nice person, except if you're called Kaga and secretly are Zuikaku's sempai. It's really hard to miss really, much harder than both of them know.

A Discord notification draws my attention away from the unfolding banter between the two. They really were adorable from time to time, unless they ran into a bad day. Then even New Jersey stayed as far as possible away from them. I smile at the memories, good and bad, of the two tsundere carriers.

Anyways, not long ago someone had asked the question where a shipgirl's fuel supply was located. Seems someone has answered that question.

1stSGTMagicalGeek Today at 10:33

Breasts?

PointlessArrow "StickmanReiter" Today at 10:33

I thought they were the belt armor?

jnfleetadmiral Today at 10:33

That's the belt, obviously.

jnfleetadmiral Today at 10:33

Nagato has an iron belt because of this and Shimakaze has a skirt.

PointlessArrow "StickmanReiter" Today at 10:33

Then why is Kaga so well endowed compared to the other carriers? Look at Zuikaku for example.

That makes sense. It would also explain why Zuikaku had furiously blushed when I asked her that question before. Anyways, time to make one's presence known.

The Budgie Admiral Today at 10:33

I still maintain that ZuiKaga does not work. I still ship it, but it doesn't work. They're way too tsundere for that.

PointlessArrow "StickmanReiter" Today at 10:33

Wasn't talking about ZuiKaga. Also, hi!

mendelevianDescendant Today at 10:33

Budgie is here! bless the budgie

also bless the Kaga and Zuizui

Zuikaku smiles while standing behind me. She looks absolutely adorable when she smiles like that. Kaga looks from her wall position, unfazed. Internally, she's probably thinking the same now.

The Budgie Admiral Today at 10:33

Kaga: "Thanks, blessing man."

Zuikaku: *smiles and does zuizui dance*

Zuikaku laughs and pats my shoulder. "Nice response." she says.

mendelevianDescendant Today at 10:33

hang on there's some noise outside, lemme go check

jnfleetadmiral Today at 10:33

?

mendelevianDescendant Today at 10:33

holy fuck

mendelevianDescendant Today at 10:33

there's gunshots outside

oh fuck.

The Budgie Admiral Today at 10:33

OH FUCK

1stSGTMagicalGeek Today at 10:33

Stay away from the windows, get to the ground so shots can't hit you as easily

1stSGTMagicalGeek Today at 10:33

If they come in don't panic, we can call the police from here

The Budgie Admiral Today at 10:33

Should we call the police?

Falkeno Today at 10:33

Guys?

Falkeno Today at 10:33

Turn on the news please.

I open Google and type in "news". "Very creative." says Zuikaku.

"Yeah, right?"

"Hey people, I just opened this news app thing you installed me and it tells me there is a shipgirl invasion into our world…" Providence comes in through the door, and what she says seems to match with what the guided missile cruiser says. It sounds utterly weird, but apparently it's true.

"Okay… Okay okay okay okay." I say. I am trying not to sound scared or worried or panicked. In reality, I am all three of these things.

"Don't panic." Kaga says. "It sounds worse than it is, you should have seen how bad Yuubari got on a bad day. It's only logical that the madness would sooner or later follow us to this reality." She sighs.

"So condition one?" Asks Zuikaku, now dead serious.

"Yes, condition one." Kaga nods. That's bad. "Get ready for arrivals, and alert New Jersey, Kii and Musashi. Tell them to get back here as soon as possible."

Meanwhile, I turn my attention back to the screen.

jnfleetadmiral Today at 10:35

What the actual fuck.

1stSGTMagicalGeek Today at 10:35

LOLWUT

The Budgie Admiral Today at 10:36

Guys… Kaga just called condition one. I think that's scary AF.

jnfleetadmiral Today at 10:36

Good. Check in every hour with a status update or we'll mark you as MIA and alert the police.

1stSGTMagicalGeek Today at 10:36

Guys, it's possible I'll cut out, base's going into lockdown and they're closing all external links in case of cyber attack. Don't worry about me, I'll be fine. Wo-chan is protecting me.

Falkeno Today at 10:33

Good, we're exempting you from the report thing. Please send update ASAP though!

Pen's Frustrated Cow Today at 10:33

Holy fucktiddies. Well, time to call up Warspite.

Jupi the Spook Today at 10:33

*Lurks invisibly*

mendelevianDescendant Today at 10:33

im fine, thanks for caring guys :thumbsup:

Olympic put down Iku in the streets before she could get here thankfully... OldIron bad time for Arizona to be working her donut shop eh?

OldIron Today at 10:33

Mutsu's with me, We'll be fine.

randompersonwithcomputer Today at 10:33

Reporting, I'm fine. Ronald Reagan (the carrier) is with me.

mendelevianDescendant Today at 10:33

The Budgie Admiral who is with you?

The Budgie Admiral Today at 10:33

Kaga, Zuikaku, Providence. More importantly, who's with Jupi the Spook?

Jupi the Spook Today at 10:33

I am fine. They won't find this spook.

Falkeno Today at 10:34

Okay, so we're all set and ready? Godspeed people!

ijnfleetadmiral Today at 10:34

Yeeup. Let's go meet them.

The Budgie Admiral Today at 10:34

Oh man this'll be a huge fucking mess.

I turn away from the screen as shouts erupt from downstairs.

"Somebody's in the house." Providence points out the obvious again. "How do we-"

The door's lock is thrown clear of the frame as an iron boot opens it forcefully. A woman steps in, a woman we all are quite familiar with, oddly enough.  
"What." I say. Providence is looking from side to side with troubled eyes. Zuikaku is staring with an open mouth.

In the small room, two tall, pony-tailed carriers are facing each other down. Both wear almost identical clothing, have the same face and the same eyes. The new Kaga lowers her bow and her stance of threat changes to a curious appearance.

"Hello…" she says.

"Hello." says the other Kaga.

"You…are me?" the new arrival says, confused.

"It… It seems so."

"Where are you from?"

"From Yokosuka."

"That was not what I meant."

"I am aware, however I can't answer your question. I don't know how I came here, but it must have been a year ago or so that we appeared."

"Anyways, have you seen Akagi-san?"

"No." the elder Kaga says, and looks down. She misses her adopted sister, although she would never admit it. "Although… Considering there are two of us, is it not logical to assume that two Akagis now exist aswell?"

Zuikaku slowly sits down on the bed, and Providence follows suit as the Kagas descend into an odd sort of monotonous discussion.

"Two… Kagas…" Zuikaku stammers quietly, and a blush passes over her face. Heh. Always the sempai, isn't she?

...

 **Rule 10,000c. There are two Sergeants, two base and madness!**

 _Magical Geek_

1st Sergeant MagicalGeek is tired, university is hell and his men at base decided it was a good idea to mess the spirits again by trying to burned the tree down! Now all he wants to do is to shed his uniform and open the discord chat to talk to his friends of ships and general military madness.

But when he opens the Discord Chat… well either the spirit is mad and decided to haunt the base computers or something really bad is going on. The computer is sparking purple and then a purple lightning bolt crash out to the parade grounds.

"Great, another day of madness on this base." MagicalGeek sigh grabbing his Camo jacket and beret, times to be the Sergeant again.

Now, he was expecting a blacken piece of asphalt on the Parade Grounds, not a floating portal in the middle of said Parade Ground.

After gaping at the portal, he quickly went back to Sergeant mode. "GET THE RIFLES! SOMEONE GET THE ATGM AND MG OUT, NOW!" Men all around him quickly jumped into action some running to armory and some to the comms shack, a few who were leaving rushed back to their barracks. "Jesus Christ and every deity up there, why me?" MagicalGeek could only sigh as the controlled chaos around him immediately turned up a notch men carrying the DShK MGs and Mestis-M ATGMs out of the armory.

But before they could even set it up, the portal exploded in a storm of energy and a flash that blinded everyone on base.

When the flash subsided, he wasn't even going to ask, because there is a copy of him in 'full combat webbing' looking around in confusion, so in complete reaction, his first action is to draw his Pindad P1 Pistol at the lookalike, who in return pull out his pistol, a Pindad G2 Combat Pistol, only issued to Active Duty Units of the Tentara Nasional Indonesia or in english, the Indonesian National Armed Forces.

"Oh, that it so unfair!" MagicalGeek could only whine in complete jealousy at the newest line of Pistols from Pindad which they trained with but won't get. "Those are only for active duty units!" His lookalike looked at his in complete confusion.

"What do you mean for active duty unit? We got this since the Abyssal Wars started!" His lookalike replied in complete confusion.

He was not the only one, everyone around the base are aiming their rifles, SMGs and Pistols to their copies while looking completely confused at the situation, and the ATGM and MG crews are staring at each other in complete confusion, they are not dropping their equipment in fear of damaging the old Russian weapons.

"What the hell is going on?!" MagicalGeek could only shout in confusion.

"Uh, sergeant? What is going on, like your counterpart just said." A Women in what looks like combat exo-skeleton with carrier parts… wait a minute, there is two... Not wait four of them, two looks like an Amphibious Assault ship, one looks like a Nimitz supercarrier and one looks like a Gerald R. Ford-class aircraft carrier….

"Oh, god… Oh, god." Geek could only muttered in complete fear and growing dread. "Don't tell me, don't tell me." Geek muttered before lowering his Pistol. "Don't tell me, 1st Sergeant MagicalGeek?" Geek asked in complete fear.

"No, its Head Sergeant MagicalGeek now." His copy replied before the situation dawned on him.

From this day on, everyone will remember the day that two MagicalGeeks shouted in unison in both fear and anger

"SOOOOUUUUUTTTTTHHHHH DDAAAAAKKKKKOOOOTTTTTAAAA!"

Apparently the Alternate Indonesia didn't just get AH-64E Apache Guardians they also got license to build AH-1W SuperCobras, which means the Indonesian Army Aviation has more Attack Helicopter Squadrons with Apaches and Hinds but also Cobras in the mix.

The Incident also has an unintended side effect, the Tentara Nasional Indonesia or in english, the Indonesian National Armed Forces has exploded in size, with extra personnel from the alternate Indonesian National Armed Forces.

The Navy actually grew in size from 3 Fleet Command to 6 Fleet Command with the additional 2 Expeditionary Fleets, the Air Force didn't grow much, they only has two of everything.

Which is the Reason why all Reserve Elements are activated into Active Combat units and are immediately thrown into the fire...

Which is actually why there is an entire Battalion fighting on the Thousand Islands district, Land, Sea and Air which is ironic to both Sergeants. Apparently the differences between the two is simple, the Head Sergeant MagicalGeek had to takeover when his old CO was KIA, so he is used to commanding large formations, while the 1st Sergeant MagicalGeek is a believer of leading on the front.

Which is why there is currently a firefight on the islands.

"CAN SOMEONE TAKE OUT THAT CRUISER!" *BOOM!* "THANK YOU!" 1st Sergeant MagicalGeek is in the thick of it, apparently the SS109 Steel Penetrator Ammunition can kill an Abyssal, only the problem is that it takes nearly an entire magazine to kill one Destroyer.

Which is why no one is panicking… that and the Arisgator's 50. Cal is helping a lot on taking down the abyssals on the ground.

Thank the lord that they are in the alternate universe, apparently the Thousand Islands district was the first islands to be emptied because of its vicinity to the Main Island,

Above the skies, fighters from both carriers and assault ships are keeping the Abyssal Fighters away from them.

The flight of Cobras doesn't hurt too actually.

"MOVE UP!" 1st Sergeant MagicalGeek shouted as he advance with his Platoon up to their objective, the Town Hall. Just as they reach the tree line, machine gun fire open up from the Town Hall, in reply Head Sergeant MagicalGeek's Huey strafe the building with Hydra Rockets before a few Cobras came in and raked the place with 20mms and more Hydra Rockets.

"That's our boys!" One of the Troopers shouted in joy.  
"MOVE UP! SECURE THE OBJECTIVE!" The 1st Sergeant shouted and advance, the remaining abyssals hurt and dazed by the airstrike was quickly dispatched by the Squad.

"SET UP DEFENSIVE POSITIONS!" 1st Sergeant shouted and everyone quickly set up the FN MAG and FN Minimis on the windows preparing for any counter attack.

"Jesus Christ." 1st Sergeant muttered and looked at everyone here. "How many?" He asked the nearest Trooper.

"Mostly wounded." The trooper replied. "Without Air and Armor support, it would be worst." The trooper added.

The battle for the Thousand Islands is a success with very minimal casualties, apparently the Abyssals stationed on the island wasn't even expecting a counter attack, which helps to the success of the counter attack. In fact the Abyssals were preparing to ambush the 1st Jayakarta Naval Squadron in charge of defending the Capital, they weren't expecting an all out counter attack from all sides.

Which is why everyone except the two Sergeants are celebrating the successful counter attack.

But what are the two Sergeants are doing? Well they are the DJ for the celebration and to commemorate it they are playing various songs from Sabaton.

"MIDWAY!"

Which is why everyone is having a blast with the music, the metal rock music got everyone into the party mood pretty quickly.

"Far from shore, a pacific war - bombs are falling from the skies" The song reaches this part when the crowd joined in.

"Its a bombrun day, it the naval way!" The entire base shouted joining the song. "A bloodred sun is on the rise..."

This lasted to the next morning.

...

 **10,000d Yes the Yamiprise family adopted a new pet, yes it's a Charmander they call Tricky**

 _TrickyMander_ **  
**

Enterprise blinked at the orange animal that was being hugged, or rather crushed, by Yoshino. Yamato looked like she was about to squee out loud.

The legendary carrier finally spoke up.

"Honey, why is Yoshino squeezing a Charmander dressed in a Singapore army uniform?"

"I don't know, but I want a turn…"

E's palm met her face as she saw Hope returning with her...

Oh why...

"HOPE ANNA BEAUREGARD THAT IS A LIVING MONSTER NOT A SCIENCE EXPERIMENT SO PUT THE TOOL BOX DOWN," she snapped.

"Awww…." Hope let out a disappointed whimper but backed off slightly. Yamato meanwhile was now curiously shadowing the bizarre creature.

"Yoshino sweetie, can mom give the little Charmander-"

"-he's Charry-" Yoshino corrected.

"-Charry a hug?"

"NO!" Yoshino hissed, pulled the pokemon away from her mom...only for him to be promptly grabbed and tackled by Akemi as well.

"Hey Akemi, he is mine!" The angry mini battleship shouted angrily.

"No, he's mine!"

"Mine!"

"I SAID, he's MINE!"

Enterprise took one look at the hapless, half-strangled Charmander and huffed in annoyance. It was time to draw a line in the sand before there was no Charmander to speak of.

"Yoshino, Akemi, stop pulling on the poor thing now!" The fighting promptly subsided as she took away the creature with an almighty yoink.

"Mom, can we keep him?" Yoshino asked, giving her best bambi eyes.

Enterprise quickly saw what her daughter was doing and intercepted Yamato's answer. "Hold it! One, no using mom's love of pokemon to get an advantage and two, having a pet is a real responsibility. You have to feed him, care for him, play with him, and most importantly keep him away from anything flammable."

It was at that moment she felt the intense gazes assaulting her face as 4 sets off Bambi eyes (Yamato's included).

"Pleeeaaaa~aaase" they begged in unison.

"Alright fine," Enterprise sighed in defeat, "but Yams, you asked for it. I do have to say that charry is kind of cute..." she cooed at the pokemon as it promptly piqued up and hurled a tsunami of flame at her.

"No! Bad charmander!" Yoshino scolded as the fire died down to reveal a...gleeful, still-on-fire, Enterprise?

"We are keeping him." She said firmly as the carrier gave him an affectionate hug. "All decisions are final."

"Glad to see you agree," Yamato smiled appreciatively as she doused the flames off her spouse.

While E was getting an impromptu bath, 'Charry' had slipped out of her hug to huddle in a corner. After making sure he was unnoticed, he took some time to reflect on his situation.

"How did I end up here?" Tricky (which was Charry's real name) thought to himself. "On one hand, I have successfully integrated myself into the Yamiprise family, but on the other hand I am now a little Charmander. How does that even work?"

Any further musing was interupted as a pair of hands grabbed him off the floor. Shocked, the former human was now looking at Akemi's eyes.

"I found him!"

"No Charry! Tricky Charry!" Yoshino scolded the being in her hands.

"I think that is better a name, actually.." Yamato said and embraced the creature in a hug. "Tricky it is then."

...

 **Rule: 10,000e. Seriously, South Dakota, what have you done? We have CERN on the phone!**

 _KaiYves_

On the side of an empty street in midtown Manhattan, KaiYves was crouched against the side of one of the two famous lions that guarded the entrance of the New York Public Library.

The night had started out perfectly normally. She had done some homework in the library and then decided to check out Discord to check up on her friends in the various channels. There had been a new user on The Admiral's Backroom from China called WhiteHairedGirl, who Jmpr had been a bit insulting to. Kai had typed a "Don't be rude" message before suddenly feeling dizzy and off-balance. Deciding that meant it was about time for dinner, she had closed out of the Internet, packed up, and headed out the door–

And then a wave of purple lightning had suddenly shot out of the west, bisecting the library steps and coming just about a meter from where she stood at the doorway. As Kai had tried to take cover behind the library doors, there had been a blinding flash of purple light, and she had tumbled forwards…

When the light had faded, she had found herself alone on the other side of the door, sprawled on her hands and knees on the library porch, in front of doors that were now suddenly boarded up. The street, normally busy with cars and pedestrians, was now vacant, and all of the buildings around here were dark, with the only electric light coming from the streetlights. By their light, Kai had been able to make out scorch marks on the sidewalk and library steps and what looked like a bomb crater in the asphalt of the street itself.

Aside from the streetlights, the only other sign of current human activity had been the sound of emergency sirens, about one every five minutes. Kai had frantically pulled out her phone, hoping for some kind of alert from university security or her Red Cross app or just the police or government about what disaster she might have just witnessed (missed? awoken to?), but there were no alerts, no cell signal, and no Wi-Fi.

"Crud, crud, crud now what, now what? Think, think…"

As all of the front entrances to the library appeared to be barricaded, the most logical course of action had seemed to be to find a vantage point closer to the street and look to see what she could see from there. Kai wasn't really sure what she was looking for, this clearly didn't seem to be any "normal" sort of disaster.

So for somewhere around 15 minutes she had been crouched against the lion statue's body, scanning the street in front of her, half-expecting to see zombies or aliens who knew what else. The closest thing to a weapon she had was a metal water bottle that was quite heavy now that it was almost full, which probably wouldn't be much good at all against someone who had seemingly made everyone in New York disappear, so staying covered seemed like the best move. But in reality, she had seen no one at all, the street remained deserted and the only sound was the wind blowing through ornamental trees and bouncing trash along the sidewalk. The wind was cold, and so was the stone, and Kai was beginning to wonder if she should make her way back to the library and try to find another entrance. At least then she would be inside, and there might still be food in the café.

She leaned close to the lion's sculpted ear and whispered into it, "Hey, which one are you, Patience or Fortitude?" The statues had those names, but nothing to indicate which was which. She felt herself blinking back tears of despair. "You can't really come to life like in that book I read as a kid, can you? I'd feel a lot safer with a living stone lion to protect me right about now."

"Hey!" The sound of another voice jolted Kai out of her pleading so suddenly she nearly dropped her water bottle. A tall woman with short red hair was standing near the base of the statue, looking up at her. She looked familiar somehow, but Kai couldn't quite place the lady's concerned-looking face, although she certainly recognized her off-white waterproof jacket, with the familiar logos of Oracle, BMW, and the Oracle Team USA sailing team. And, well, apocalypse or no apocalypse, there were certain fangirl impulses Kai could never hope to restrain–

"Wow, cool jacket! Like in the America's Cup!" Even if the woman hadn't already seen her, there would have been no more hiding with how loudly she'd announced that.

"Right, exactly." The woman nodded and smiled. "Can you tell me how to get to the New York Yacht Club?" The accent reminded Kai of her friends from California.

It felt strange to be talking to another person, and even stranger for them to be asking for such seemingly-specific knowledge of hers. But if at least one other person was alive in New York, they had to stick together, and if they already happened to have such a highly-specific shared interest, it was practically a miracle. Most of the time the only people Kai could ever find who were interested in talking about sailboat racing were online, on Tumblr or The Admiral's Backroom chat, and even in the later, most of the users were more interested in military ships.

"Are you going there? Look, I don't know what's going on, there was a giant wall of lightning and a flash of purple light and suddenly I was on the steps all alone and nobody was around… but yeah, it's like two blocks north and then a few over west, I've gone by there a few times. Not in, of course, those guys are way too snobby to ever let some kid in jeans and fingerless gloves just walk in to look around, honestly for next time I like Luna Rossa better than them…" The words spilled out in relief.

The woman glanced quickly at a highly-sophisticated computer watch on her left wrist and then back at Kai. "Look, all I know is New York's under a state of emergency and my orders are to get up to the Club as soon as possible. If you can help me get there, I'm sure they'll keep you safe."

Kai clambered down from the statue, handing her water bottle to the woman for a moment to have both hands free.

"The Volvo Ocean Race? I guess you're a fan, huh?" The woman said, smiling again. Kai got to her feet and took her bottle back from the woman's hand. "Uhm, yes. I'm Kai, I'm a student here."

"Well, I'm USA-17, from Oracle. You ever meet a catamaran avatar before?"

An… avatar? What, like in those silly stories she was always making up with her friends online? Kai hadn't even written up a profile for any of the 17s yet, although she had ideas, and she knew Pearl did as well, since she'd even written them into a few rules. Come of think of it, the woman did match her mental picture, pale and redheaded like her skipper, but with a pixie cut where his head was nearly shaved, and then– oh, right, amber-eyed like in Pearl's other story!

"W-which 17? Are you Sierra? From 2013?"

The woman blinked a few times in shock. "Yeah, 17.3 or Sierra, little Apple joke with my sisters so we can keep each other separate. 'Met a dimensional counterpart who went by Black India once, though. How'd you know?"

Because I created you? No, that sounded all wrong, Kai wasn't God and she wasn't the engineers who had built the real USA-17, either. A god wouldn't be standing there wiggling her toes to keep them from freezing inside of her sneakers. If this really was the world of her stories, if it really was a parallel universe with its own history, then maybe they had all been receiving psychic impressions of true events that were happening elsewhere as they wrote.

"Oh, because… because Kyle Langford told me! He was on your crew and then I met him at the Volvo stopover in Newport when he was with Team Brunel!" Kai moved to take her backpack off "I have the pic I took with him in my phone!" Hopefully that sounded convincing. She really did have the photo, even if her expression in it looked extremely goofy.

Another siren sounded. "Why don't you show me later! If this is really an emergency, we should get moving."

The two women set off jogging down a north-south running street, passing more bomb craters and buildings with broken windows.

"How did this happen? Why's New York so trashed?" Kai gasped out, remembering she hadn't jogged on a regular basis since undergrad.

"Abyssal attack last month. Just like in the old movies– monsters and aliens love trying to wreck New York City. Fortunately, our forces offshore always stop them before they can do more than launch shells. I'm glad they didn't try to climb the Empire State Building– I always wanted to see it, and I was at the top when that purple lightning appeared and the emergency signal went out." Kai could tell 17 was deliberately slowing herself down to try to keep at a human's pace. As such, she was talking perfectly normally. "I was supposed to report to the NYYC later tonight anyway, this just moved it to ASAP."

"Report? So is that, like your headquarters or something? I thought you'd be in San Francisco, or in Virginia where your hull's on display." Kai said, trying to ignore an ominous growling sound from a nearby alley.

"Well, that's actually why we were supposed to be meeting, some of the higher-ups have ideas for making a more formal structure around us racers. And apparently some NYYC members did organize a sort of volunteer submarine patrol for the Coast Guard during World War II, which the modern folks think gives them some insight into how to–" 17′s sentence was cut off as a pack of gruesome, frog-like creatures suddenly jumped out of the alley ahead of them, making a horrible sound somewhere between a growl and a gurgle.

"WHAT THE HECK ARE THOSE THINGS?!" Kai had instantly discovered that surprisingly, she actually did still have quite a lot of fear left in her.

"Don't know. All kind of strange things coming out of portals these days. Piggyback!" 17 ordered.

"What? How are you going to–"

"Grab onto my back!"

Kai awkwardly tried to climb onto the woman's back, putting her arms around her neck– and then, found herself sitting much more comfortably on top of a trampoline net as 17′s rigging manifested. The net was stretched between two red-tipped black hulls, and the form of a miniature black wingsail was strapped, like an RPG protagonist's comically disproportionate sword, diagonally across 17′s back. "Okay, now grab the net. And hang on!"

She hung onto the netting as 17 accelerated, charging forward as fast as highway traffic. Through the gaps in the netting, Kai could see that the catamaran was moving like a speed skater on foils that extended from the bottoms of her feet, much like skates. One of the frog creatures jumped at them, only for 17 to send it rocketing away with a punch to the chest area.

As the other creatures gave chase, 17 altered her course, speeding diagonally towards the wall of one of the surrounding buildings, making a leap, and then–

They were foil-skating along the building's surface, perpendicular to the ground, at ever-increasing speed. As wind whipped past her face, Kai lowered it against the netting, scared her glasses might be blown off. The creatures jumped after them, but were too slow, squishing against the wall and then sliding down with angry-sounding gurgles. As terrifying as it was, Kai also had to admit that–

"THIS-IS-TOTALLY-AWESOME!"

17 glanced backward, her head now covered by a silvered crash helmet decorated with Red Bull logos. Seeing that the creatures no longer seemed to be pursuing them, she smirked, and shifted her weight, heading back towards the street. Another leap brought them back to the horizontal world, with 17 landing in one clean motion and continuing her flight down the street. "It's on 44th Street?"

"Y-y-yeah-yeah, i-it's 44th, turn right here and then like three down!" Kai was a bit too stunned to put the syllables together, but she could recognize the street signs. Lifting her head, she turned it back as far as she dared, but saw no sign of the frog creatures.

Soon, a barricade became visible up ahead, with a crowd of soldiers in what looked like combat gear standing with guns, carefully watching the empty street. That certainly hadn't been there the last time Kai had walked by the massive stone building to her left, decorated with ornate carvings of seashells, nautical ropes, and ship timbers. Even the projecting windows looked like the backs of miniature galleons rendered in stone. The Beaux-Arts elaboration of the yacht club's facade seemed a world apart from the plain concrete dividers of the barricade in front of it.

As they approached, 17 slowed, pulling a final turn a few meters from the barricade to burn off the last of her speed. She retracted her foils and reached up to remove her helmet. Kai finally released the death grip she had had on the netting, climbing back onto the street as she tried to wiggle her fingers, still tense and very white.

"AC-72 catamaran USA-17, reporting as requested." 17 announced, cradling her helmet under her left arm. "And an evacuee." She nodded in Kai's direction.

The soldiers waved them past the barricade, where the club door itself was surprisingly still guarded by a doorman in a far more formal uniform. "Traditions must be upheld, Miss Oracle." He said, noticing the bemused expressions on the women's faces as he held the door open for them. If he had a problem with Kai's jeans and fingerless gloves, he didn't show it. "Right this way."

A man in a suit led them through an ornate wood-paneled lobby and up a flight of red-carpeted stairs, questioning them about their arrival and the frog creatures. Kai turned her head furiously, catching glimpses of models and paintings she would have loved to stop and look at more closely. But obviously, they had to follow their guide, down hallways, up another flight of stairs, and then into a conference room where several large computer monitors displayed video-chat windows.

The room was mostly occupied by a few long and narrow wooden tables, with heavy chairs arranged behind them, facing the screens. It reminded Kai of the library reading room she'd been working in earlier, actually. The crowd filling the chairs were a strange mix of uniformed military officials, formally-dressed civilians, and other men and women in what she recognized as branded gear for various sport sailing teams.

"17! Ah, you've arrived safely, we were all starting to worry!" A French-accented voice said, from one of the video screens. Kai looked upwards to see another conference room, where a black-haired woman in a gray pantsuit was smiling in relief. From the red spiral painted around her left eye, Kai recognized her as Alinghi SUI-64.

"Some frog-like creatures attacked us, but I managed to escape them just fine." 17 answered.

"Yes, the other personnel in New York have reported fighting with them, but I am told that most of the population has sheltered without incident. All sorts of strange things have been happening since that glowing purple wave swept across the Earth. We have reports coming in from all of our facilities, not just there or here in Geneva, you see, but all around the world." Alinghi said. She turned to a slightly taller woman to her right who had blue hair with two long side bangs, wearing a labcoat.

The woman in the labcoat also looked familiar, but Kai couldn't quite think of where she'd seen her before.

"As I was telling the others, the wall or wave of purple lightning appears to have originated somewhere in the San Diego metropolitan area approximately 40 minutes ago. From there, it spread east and west at an exponential rate, growing in width and height equally rapidly, so rapidly as to seem almost simultaneous across the world." The blue-haired woman said, speaking with a slight Swiss-German accent. "However, based on the minute differences in the times at which the energy associated with the wave were first detected at our various research labs, we have been able to estimate the origin. According to the space probe data and our calculations here at CERN, the energy appears to have then continued on into space, at many times the speed of light."

Wait, CERN? Oh, now Kai remembered! The blue-haired woman looked just like the "personified Large Hadron Collider" that one of her Tumblr friends had drawn and turned into a cosplay several years before. Well, minus the glowing energy rings around her.

After the gasps in the room had died away, the supercollider-girl continued, "Based on the energies detected, and the reports of anomalous creatures and individuals appearing shortly afterwards, as well as several people from our own world disappearing, we believe that the purple barrier was a dimensional incursion on a scale never before witnessed, a brief moment of contact between our own universe and one or more alternate ones."

...

 **Rule 10,000f: The Logistical Headache, for the act of getting crap where it needs to be remains the alpha and omega of pains in the ass**

 _Kras_

"Step by step, the longest march…"

Absentminded was the croon out of a hard-hatted man in a dockside warehouse shifting boxes of disinfectant and cartons of band-aids onto a pallet, then jacking it up on a fork-hoist so the thing could be moved to the ready wrapping-stations.

Songs would usually get stuck in the worker's head this way, and usually he would see no reason to not sing them. It wasn't as if anyone could hear him over the noise abound - you damn near needed to shout into other guys' ears just to be heard when a forklift or a crane was operational.

"Can be won, can be won…"

It wasn't quite a serf's spiritual, but the steady cadence lodged itself in the skull of the working man, and managed to galvanize his arms to lift and move even with depleted energy stores after the ten-hour day.

"For all the unknown heroes, sing out to every shore…"

Today, the singer was filthy. This was not unusual, because properly operated docks with construction going on in the background were too dry and inhospitable to all plants but dandelions, whose tastes for potting were ecstatic at even the sight of a crack in concrete. Thus, the dirt and sand and filth that came from dusty tin-sheds pretending to be proper warehouses.

"What makes one step,"

A quarter-hour till the end of the workday. Two more pallets full of the bitch-materials; products scattered all over the warehouse. Because, of course, putting them to their own shelf would compound the problem.

"a giant leap,"

But of course, something going on in Indonesia, Malaysia, Singapore, Australia's Northern Territory… the guy lost count of how many countries were on the stamps to go on the boxes. Something big went on, apparently. Something to do with war fleets.

Probably China.

Brief were the flashes of worry in an emotionally dulled mind which marked good days as having enough of a surplus of a fuck to actually feel something - but unlike the self, fucks were indeed in reserve to be given to friends he'd never seen.

He's called himself Kras to them - being unconfirmedly descended from Red Guards, before those ancestors were discharged from duty in the formation of the Reichsprotectorate Ukraine, he'd chosen his internet tag off a personalization of a romanization of the red guardsman title. Also it was made easy to shorten, as the stated term was literally just the Russian spelling of 'Red'.

"Is all the steps be-"

But then, he felt the world go still.

Something was there. Nowhere. Everywhere.

He felt it with his soul.

Divorced from his homeland he may have been - presently being across a ditch from a land which hunted to extinction the things that lurked in the night with spears and loincloths - he was still familiar with the notion that things lurked beyond the fire-light, that man hadn't yet forgotten.

The 'fore' to complete the lyric died in his throat as the Message came.

With that small 'click', the descendant of serfs and the son of a Captain understood where he was needed.

It was very easy. He simply closed his eyes…

…

…

Opening them, having moved to somewhere with warmer, saltier, more humid air… and not quite anywhere, at the same time.

He, as he should have been, in this place wasn't there. There could be only one.

Someone was looking at him. Someone with authority. Poor bastard.

The last one such man Kras had looked up to, four work placements ago, he'd relentlessly stated the leader was drunk at his workdesk. When questioned about this, Kras stated he wouldn't be in that position. Not with thirteen hours a day in an office, making sure a vegetable-preparation plant ran as needed.

"Introduce yourself." Came a curt order from the guy standing on water in front of him.

That wasn't a cause to give a shit, in itself. Alternatively, the pristine Dragunov in the officer's hands was very much one.

"You can't say my name without invoking the terms Hero, Orgy, Valour and Smug in English." Kras said. Right then, it seemed like a good idea to adhere to the same practices as online, where it was rude to call people by their real names when they preferred a pseudonym.

As the Japanese had said, may your movements be as mysterious as moonlight and strike as lightning. In a less heavenly mindset, this translated to fucking with their heads and kicking them in the balls.

The interrogating officer performed the universal response to this tactic. Closing the eyes, leaning back and looking skyward for salvation, taking a deep breath and manually resetting their brain.

"I am the name ship of the nuclear missile cruisers," said the capped man with delicacy, "Kirov. Do you have something to report?"

"I go where I'm called and do what I'm needed to. What do you need moved, where, and when?"

Kirov visibly experienced a similar mental 'click' of things slotting into place. "My fleet's about to move south to Japan, there's something big going on and they want damage control being run."

"How much?"

"That warehouse. All of it." Kirov turned to look, and the reason for his additional pointing seemed to be to make sure Kras couldn't possibly fuck up in finding it.

"Where?" asked the one who'd find a way in any case.

"Yes. А ну давай, бесталачь."

Suitably called a fool, the guy was at the warehouse in moments, and began running as soon as he manifested legs to do so with. There was a lot of work needing done - no time to fuck around.

...

 **10,000g. No, there is not a magical discord channel or forum where everything that gets posted, happens in real life. Stop asking!**

 _Pointless Arrow_

"Are you sure about this?"

"Oh, I'm very sure. Do you know how many CSI episodes I watched for this?"

"…that's not how any of this works, you know."

"Hey! How do you know?! Have you ever tried?! You know what Taffy 3 always said-"

"…please don't tell me you got the idea from Johnston…"

"-you never know until you try! Hey, how did you know it was her?"

"Oh, I so have such a bad feeling about this."

"Oh come on, worrywart, she's right! Let's get down to business~"

"Can I just say," Oakland burst out, her exhausted voice silencing the clatter of dishes and cups about her, "that this meeting came out far better than planned?"

"Better than planned?" A familiar black-clad pre-dreadnought raised an eyebrow questioningly. "You act as if we had never worked together before in that grand operation."

"Yes, but," the light cruiser dug about in her pockets anxiously, "but not like this. I mean, we're all on leave right now, aren't we? No abyssals to kill, no expeditions to do, nothing! You'd expect someone to do something crazy and-"

"Don't jinx it," Mikasa wagged a finger in warning. "The last time someone said that, the admiralty issued hundreds of new regulations."

"Oh jeez," Hai Qi rolled her eyes, "I wonder whose fault that was."

"I don't know what you mean," the pre-dreadnought tilted her head as she took perhaps too innocent of a sip of her tea. "Who could have possibly been behind that awful prank, and actually tried testing out of the Russian Baltic Fleet's claim of being 'too hot to handle' by—"

"AI YA!" a shipgirl cried out, pointing furiously at Mikasa, "her drink is possessed!" Uneasy murmurs echoed throughout the room as the shipgirl-in-question's teacup seemed ready at any second to simulate the Krakatoa eruption, shooting boiling hot tea geysers high into the air.

"What the hell?"

"Someone call an exorcist!"

"Relax," Mikasa smiled serenely, pulling the cup to her lips to take a sip of the ever-boiling drink, "for it is but a storm in a teacup." A shipgirl beside Hai Qi had other ideas, however.

"The river spirits have cursed your drink! Fortunately I know just the thing!"

"Jiyuan, no," Hai Qi sighed, feeling a headache coming on. "That's just a superstition. We're both better than that."

"But you're wrong!" The Beiyang cruiser laughed triumphantly. "Watch as I expel this evil demon from Mikasa's cup!"

As Jiyuan began chanting incoherently and gesticulating wildly, Hai Qi couldn't help but feel relieved that Anshan was busy elsewhere…

Badadadum.

"Greetings. You have reached the StickyNotes Storytelling Firm. Thank you choosing us as your writer of choice; we promise to deliver high quality chronicles and stories as our clients desire. We are sorry that we are unable to answer your call right now, but we will get you in contact with a human affiliate as shortly as possible."

"Damn bloated bureaucrats," she hissed. "Of course they would have a poor work ethic."

"If you are here to make a request for a story, please press 1. If you are here to conduct an interview, please press 2. If you are here to…"

"Of course, of course, they're going to make it the last option. Gotta make sure that the people as tired as possible before issuing a righteous complaint."

"If you are here to file a complaint or to ask a question, please press 4*CH*A*N**, in that order."

"Bureaucrats…grievances…people…" she mumbled furiously as the destroyer menacingly punched the cryptic series of symbols. At last, the phone issued a mellow series of tones, and a familiar tired voice came on the line.

"Hello?" the operator sounded on the verge of collapse.

"Is the Stickman?" Anshan snarled.

"Oh, Anshan?" immediately his voice sounded meek. "Hi, I was meaning to get back with you-"

"Yeah, like a year ago—"

"A year ago? Has it really been a year since I last talked with you all? I'm sorry, I truly am, it's just—"

"Where is the story?" she hissed.

"—and then an Avian and Hylotl made a request for a romance trope, I had to turn them down, and then, I know you won't believe this, apparently there's a world where there's this legendary hero who slays nothing but goblins. I don't know, doesn't that sound repetitive after awhile? Also, a Survey Corps Scout of all people made a request. Something about the times before the Fall. I was so tempted to take up their offer, but…

"WHERE IS THE STORY?!"

Even Genghis Khan would have turned tail and ran at her shouting. There was a long and awkward pause.

"I'm sorry, Anshan, I really am, but—"

"But. What. You. Incompetent. Idiot."

"You see," Stickman replied nervously, his sweat dripping audibly off his face, "I haven't been able to keep in touch with PointlessArrow for some time. And because PointlessArrow is my boss-"

"Oh, be quiet about you and your imaginary boss! He's just a tall tale you tell people to cover up for your buffoonery and procrastination!"

"But he's real! And he's from another dimension!"

Another dimension? Could this operator think her anymore stupid? Anshan resisted the urge to engage in another tirade, and instead decided to humor his excuse.

"Another dimension you said? So, what's taking him so long."

"Apparently he got into medical school, and it's really difficult so he has no time to peer edit my notes! I swear I'm telling the truth; I'd even bring you to him if I could!"

"Well then, tell him this."

"…?"

"If he truly is in another universe, he better hope I never meet him. Because if I do," she smirked, "I'm going to be airing a lot of my 'grievances,' to say the least."

"You're just literally inserting a series of numbers into a random textbox on the screen," Taylor groaned, unable to suspend her disbelief any longer.

According to the infamous, insane, and industrious author and Essex carrier Hornet (the Younger), the science shipgirls would make "the technological breakthrough of a lifetime" in the foreseeable future. Rather than being utterly terrified by this revelation, the international response to the prophecy was to accelerate it.

Especially amongst the Fletchers. They were not by any means immature, reckless idiots, but they were very determined to put their names and their country's flag on any new horizon there was to be found. Some found solace in the possibility of creating a never-ending food supply; others hoped more comically to turn shipgirl flatulence into fuel.

To her tried-and-true Tokyo Bay comrades O'Bannon and Nicholas however, that meant trying (and epically failing) to "hack" into the internet.

Taylor was pretty sure that wasn't how the internet worked, but when two sheep and a wolf are trying to decide what to have for lunch you just throw your hands in the air and give up. Nicholas especially wasn't having any of Taylor's cynicism.

"Remember that Pixar movie that came out a little back? The one where everyone got hypnotized by screens? It's clearly a sign of the future, and that we're on the right track."

"Yeah, the fantasy film where superheroes exist?"

"Are you saying we aren't superheroes?" O'Bannon protested, looking up briefly from her aimlessly typing. The computer was very clearly malfunctioning on them, flashing the classic "blue screen of death" intermittently.

"No, but are you sure 'borrowing' a napkin sketch design from Phoenix, South Dakota, and the others that they even wrote in the margins was 'unfeasible', 'impossible', 'wishful thinking' to use as a template is the logic of geniuses?"

"They simply didn't have enough faith," Nicholas tutted. "Which we have a lot of. Remember Taylor, the three of us once jumped off a multistory building without ruining the concrete parking lot below. Just because it hasn't been done, doesn't mean it can't. Besides, imagine the potential. Imagine if we could hypnotize Stalingrad into going on a lengthy rant and recanting her love of Sta-"

"I think I got it."

A very unofficial, extremely Microsoft-Paint quality textbox with the words "PLEASE TYPE IN THE PASSWORD HERE. YOU HAVE ONE TRY."

"One try? Drats."

"Hmmm…what could it be? 'THE PASSWORD HERE. YOU HAVE ONE TRY.?' Hunter123? Ilovecats? Urgh, I hate riddles…"

"Maybe it's the Nintendo cheat sequence?"

"I am surrounded by idiots," Taylor sighed, drawing the straps of her cap over her chin.

She failed to see the maniacal gleam in her sisters' eyes…

"DAODAODAODAO! Oh ye river gods, hear me now…!"

"I see your feudalistic, superstitious mannerisms are doing little else but getting on other people's nerves, eh?"

"Jiyuan is not reflective of the Beiyang Fleet's values," Hai Qi replied stoically, wincing as the Chinese cruiser made yet another pass at Mikasa's teacup. "I think she might be a bit tipsy too."

"Tipsy, at this time of day?" Anshan chortled. "Man, no wonder you guys brought nothing but shame and grief upon us. You're so incompetent."

Hai Qi turned beet-red as a flash of anger spread across her face, but a rumble in the destroyer's pocket commanded Anshan's attention. It was a notification from discord; she eagerly opened it.

"Your waifu gacha game is trash. Your game is bad, and you should feel bad."

Several people are typing…

"What are you smiling at, Anshan?"

The destroyer looked up to see the disapproving looks of Ninghai, Pinghai, and Hai Qi about her. Couldn't she enjoy a moment of peace and quiet without these pesky Nationalist shipgirls bothering her?

"Someone tried flaming my game, Blue Ocean, again," she smirked without skipping a beat. Anshan smirked even harder as Hai Qi's frown deepened.

"The one where Ninghai and Pinghai are little girls despite being young women?"

"Yep."

"And the one where Yi Xian has been called, and I quote, 'a MILF?' despite being actually half the size of Ninghai and Pinghai?"

"Ye~ep."

Anshan was about to brace herself for the inevitable (and hilarious) tirade when something else commanded her attention. In the blink of an eye her cellphone's screen went black, gave a notification warning her that there were no internet connections available nearby, and then finally returned to the discord app that she had open.

Except, where the list of channels should be, a new icon greeted her eye. It was a picture of a cruiser Anshan had never seen before labelled "The Admirals Backroom."

She certainly hadn't remembered being invited to any such channel, but it didn't hurt to check it out…

→ Welcome, the White Haired Girl!

Falkeno

""What was Germany smoking when they came up with this, and do they have any left?""

1stSGTMagicalGeek

We got new blood! Leave your sanity at the door!

mendelevianDescendant

salutes the WhiteHairedGirl! and blesses

Falkeno

Welcome, drinks are kept in the cupboard, look behind the monopoly set

The Budgie Admiral

Greetings!

Jupi the Spook

*Waves* :V

Eh, that superstitious mendel aside, it seemed like a bunch of boring ordinary people. True, there were some weird names on (IJNFleetAdmiral? The Budgie Admiral? Old Iron? Jmpr? What is a Jmpr? How do you even pronounce that?), but they seemed like classic degenerates. They even had a channel named "not safe for destroyers."

She was about to flip back to "Blue Ocean Official" when it happened.

Quizzes.

Oh gods, how he hated them. They weren't hard true and in fact they were extremely helpful, but they had an awful knack of asking what he had studied least and asking superficially what he studied most.

Why on earth didn't they ask about Ulrich muscular dystrophy? He even made an easy mnemonic to remember it affected Type VI collagen ("Ulrich von Junginen sounds like it has six syllables"), but it wasn't an option.

Not even the fact that Finnish people were vulnerable to muscle-eye-brain disease was asked…

Ah well, it was time to unwind for a bit before continuing with the studying.

PointlessArrow "StickmanReiter"

'lo.

mendelevianDescendent

bless dr stickman! and his OMAHA 5

Falkeno

Hey, Stick.

WhiteHairedGirl

The PointlessArrow?

Oh, someone still remembered him from his fanfiction writing days, before medical school came down like an anvil.

PointlessArrow "StickmanReiter"

Yes, that's me.

WhiteHairedGirl

Awesome :smile:

Something deep inside PointlessArrow stirred. Something was off about this encounter. He quickly checked his email, and then SpaceBattles. There was no one with that name recorded having subscribed to his stories, nor frequently haunting the Kancolle/Azur Lane threads.

PointlessArrow "StickmanReiter"

Do I know you?

WhiteHairedGirl

You could say that, yes.

I know who you are now though! :smile:

He clicked on her profile. It was an avatar of a Chinese actress performing the legendary Chinese Communist play of the same name. Not very helpful; it was an iconic play so undoubtedly many would use it. PointlessArrow then checked "Mutual Servers" and "Mutual Friends." No results.

It was interesting how fanatical she seemed to be about history though. Despite being a channel about a game based on popular history, most people had non-history orientated avatars.

PointlessArrow "StickmanReiter"

Where are you from?

WhiteHairedGirl

China. Qingdao specifically.

mendelevianDescendent

wait what, how did you get around the Great Firewall of China

Jmpr

Chicoms can't even censor properly.

PointlessArrow

Uh, jmpr, I don't think that's a good-

TheWhiteHairedGirl is typing…

Hai Qi was now very scared. On one side of the room was Mikasa, a shipgirl with a known evil streak, having an exorcism "conducted" on her.

On the other side was Anshan smirking like a girl at Christmas, which was a really fucking scary sight because Anshan didn't celebrate religious holidays. It didn't help either that the destroyer's fingers were moving at the speed of light.

"Hey Hai Qi…you were right."

"About what?" she demanded suspiciously.

"There is a god, and he has no mercy."

"Nooooooooooo!" A smol pre-dreadnought wailed, writhing in agony on the floor. "The internets is gone!"

"Not a big deal," Fuji rolled her eyes. "It's not like you lot were doing anything important anyway."

"But then how I am going to finish this episode?" Yakumo sighed in resignation as she emerged from her hiding spot beneath the kotatsu. "Now I have nothing else to do."

"You could, you know, ask one of the repair shipgirls, Admiral Gōtō, or the Captain what the matter is, or even heaven forbid try and find the router and reset it," Yashima scowled. "You did make the effort to find our kotatsu and lounge around under it, after all. Same with you Shikishima," she added, pressing her glasses in disgust at the battleship's childish antics. "Do grow up sometime."

"Nooooooo! It's too much work! Don't wanna!"

"What she said," the armored cruiser flicked a lazy thumbs-up in approval.

The Fuji sisters were about to give them the verbal beating of their life when Mikasa appeared.

"Is it out for you too?" she asked nonchalantly.

"Yes."

"Ah. Well then," the Barrovian battleship began hastily retreating for the doorway, "I guess I'll ask the lunatics in the repair department about-"

Whoopf.

Mikasa gulped nervously as she was reeled in like a fish until Fuji was mere inches from her face.

"What do you mean, 'you too?'"

"Weeee~eelll," she gave a weak laugh and tugged at her collar nervously. "Jiyua-I mean Saien, may have kinda, sorta, tried exorcising and I mayhavesaidapowerfulcountercasesinceyknowIhaveacertainconditionbutImayhaveoverdoneitsoyeahweirdthingsaregoingonnowlikeAnshanapparentlyisnolongernonreligiousandhasbeentalkingabouthavingthepowerofagodandeveryone'sreallyconfusedand-"

Fuji was illiterate in the esoteric tongue of Kongō-speed Vickersspeak, but all she needed to hear was "Saien" and "exorcism" to realize she was going to have a really, really long day.

At this moment, she was glad that Connecticut had taught her a very, simple, blunt American phrase.

"Ah, fuck me."

"The hell is SpaceBattles? I want to go to SeaBattles dagnabit!"

"Congratulations," Taylor droned in resignation. "Instead of 'breaking the internet,' you gave your computer a virus."

Much to O'Bannon's and Nicholas's disappointment, typing in the magical phrase "I am surrounded by idiots" did nothing. No secret intelligence agency database, no Skynet, no teleportation to another dimension, nada. Instead, it anticlimactically began redirected every single website search, from twitter to google, to a website called SpaceBattles.

Why Space Battles? Was it a website dedicated to veterans of space? But then why battles? You couldn't fight in space, at least not like a conventional battle, and last she heard, there were no space warships available yet.

"Maybe it's for space fans?"

Nicholas cast her sister a vicious glare. "No shit, Sherlock."

"But then why do we keep getting redirected to it? We have nothing to do with—"

"It's not about space!" Taylor and Nicholas nearly jumped as O'Bannon shot up an emphatic finger into the air.

"It's not about space," she repeated again, this time more softly. "There are weird things on here, like Worm," O'Bannon squinted, "Azur Lane, something called 'Kantai Collection…'"

"The hell?" Nicholas too began squinting furiously at the screen. "Isn't Kantai Collection Janglish for Fleet Collection. But what are they collecting?"

"Apparently fanfiction stories about us. Look, there's even a copy of New Jersey's fanfiction on here."

"I don't recognize that author name though," Taylor frowned. "Is this New Jersey incognito?"

"Can't be," Nicholas snorted. "Needs more 'fucks', 'donuts', 'eagles', or 'dragons' in the username. They don't even know her that well either. 'In Which We Eat Pie?' Come on, even the most oblivious serviceman knows that donuts are her mortal weakness."

"Unless this is Arizona incognito."

"There's another thread in here too," O'Bannon interrupted as she continued scrolling. "Things no longer allowed involving shipgirls…"

There was a long pause.

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"

"DEW IT."

"Man, 653 pages?" Taylor frowned and pulled her own, admiralty-issue copy of Things Shipgirls Are No Longer Allowed to Do, 3rd Edition. "Our latest edition is only 580. These fanfiction writers must have quite the creative facilities."

"Some of these rules are gold though!" Nicholas and O'Bannon howled in laughter as they skimmed the thread, passing over one rule sternly demanded to know "what was Nazi Germany smoking and if they had any left." Of course, to be fair, that was funny but still-

Wait a second, why were her sisters suddenly so quiet?

"Hey, uh, sis?" O'Bannon asked softly. "Can you go to rule number 2 in the book?"

Flip. Flip. Swap.

"I'm on it now. The 'Stop giving bottle rockets to younger destroyers' one because one of the ex-IJN carriers FUBARd and gave Ikazuchi a bunch with faulty fuses?"

"Yeah…do you still remember that incident clearly?"

"Crystal clear, even though it happened like what? Back in '15? '16? It was when we were all still getting used to the new model riggings."

"Then can you tell me," Nicholas gulped, "how accurate this is."

Taylor quickly skimmed the brief snippet. It wasn't very detailed, but it was accurate nevertheless.

"He missed out a few things, but yeah…that's basically how it went down."

"What about Rule 5?"

Flip. Flip. Swap. Huh, how odd, that username's post was also historically accurate.

"Also right. Must be just a coincidence."

"Rule 11?"

"Also correct."

"25?"

"Right."

"115?"

"Give me a higher number, maybe this guy was a serviceman or something. Like 268?"

O'Bannon turned beet-red and glowered furiously at Taylor.

"That was supposed to be our secret! I made you and Johnston swear to keep it with you to the grave!" she hissed.

"Exactly, so if it's there's a snippet-"

"And there is—" Nicholas smirked.

"He'll probably make something hilariously false, we can have a good laugh, and call it a day. This has been spooky enough."

"Aaandddd-" Taylor smiled hopefully.

"-nddddddd-"

"Oh fuck, he got it. It's true."

As was the next one, and the next one, and the next one. Eight thousand rules and sixty-seven pages of absurd and hilariously awkward encounters, and yet not one of them was false.

By now the destroyer trio were sweating bricks. They had fought terrifying behemoths up close and personal, dueled submarines with their pants down, and stood toe-toe with former foes at the negotiating table, but a group of anonymous internet writers sharing "fanfictions" of their accounts with pinpoint accuracy?

This was the true meaning of fear.

If the official Admirals' Rulebook only went up to rule 8263, which was approximately about page 576 in the thread, then that meant there yet another 1700 prophetically-described "incidents" in store for them. And if this thread could predict the past and future, there was nothing that could be done about them. They were just like puppets acting out a dance.

"Let's not get ahead of ourselves," Taylor said shakily. It had to be a prank, it just had to. Maybe this was the Admiralty's way of getting back for all the grief and misery they had caused. "As Phoenix used to say, correlation is not causation. How about we try an experiment?"

Nicholas and O'Bannon pivoted their heads slowly like owls, the disbelief etched in their faces.

"Experiment? With this? Fuck this shit, I'm out!"

"Are you crazy, Taylor?!"

"Do you want to just give up now and live the rest of our existence wondering if some random person on the internet is the cause of all our suffering and that we don't have any free will? What if this person is the source of all Abyssals? Imagine if we reason with them and end the war."

"Hmm…"

"You have a point," O'Bannon nodded in agreement. "And we have come this far…"

"So let's write a rule, and post on that thread. If everything that happens on the thread is true, then the worst thing that can happen is whatever we wrote."

"I want to say you're wrong," Nicholas scowled, "but I can't argue with that logic."

"In that case," Taylor raised her eyebrows expectantly. "O'Bannon, would you please?"

"Oh come on, why me?! I've never seen this site in my life!"

"One, you were the one who got us into this mess, so you should lead the charge, and two, it seems like it used your SeaBattles account and has already logged you in."

"If I die from this, Taylor, I swear I am going to haunt you forever."

Lucky'O 9965. Phoenix, please put down that teleporter. The last time you used it you nearly gave

O'Bannon a heart attack.

"And writing about Phoenix using a teleporter was considered safe why again?" Nicholas grunted in disapproval.

"Look at this way," Taylor began waving her hands in explanation. "Phoenix did try experimenting with  
teleportation, but she never got anywhere with it. She simply didn't have the patience or willingness to gamble with unknown tech to that extent; that cruiser will stick her guns and make things she know more crazy. In fact, if I recall correctly everyone was so scared of her newfangled prototype that they ordered her to scrap it. Besides, where is Phoenix now?"

"In San Diego."

"Where again?"

"San Diego!"

"Exactly, so because Phoenix has no teleporter and is thousands of miles away from us, we know scientifically with absolute certainty that Phoenix is not by any means about to pop in here and—"

FWISH. SWUNK. THUNK.

"OW WHAT THE FUCK OOF!"

Someone far larger than the Fletcher sisters materialized and slammed to the floor with an unearthly boom. After a terribly long pause, the figure raised a hand weakly from the crater she had made into the floor.

"Uwuuu, my head," she whimpered, nursing a massive bump on her head, "What the hell did SoDak do to my tools…Huh, O'Bannon? Since when were you here? I thought you were in Yokosuka."

In that moment, the Fletcher-class destroyers received a grim reminder, that they lived in fear of an abomination called SpaceBattles, which could arbitrarily decide their fates with a single stroke of the keyboard.

Naturally, they did what anyone would do with such a revelation.

"AAAAAAHHHHHHH!"

"AAAAAAHHHHHHH!"

"Yiiiii!"

In a flash the three destroyers were out the door, screaming for their lives.

Phoenix merely shook her head in disappointment. "What a bunch of weirdos," she murmured. "What were they even doing anyway? Huh? SpaceBattles? What is this…"

"So let me get this straight," Gōtō sighed as he scrolled through what was definitely not a fan-made knock-off of SeaBattles. "O'Bannon, Nicholas, and Taylor tried 'breaking the internet' using a rejected idea from the science shipgirls. At the same time this was happening, Jiyuan was conducting an exorcism on Mikasa, who because of her...condition decided to utter a counter-countercurse back."

"Furthermore, a certain shipgirl who-shall-not-be-named," Collingwood glared bitterly back at the Japanese admiral, "decided to one-up Phoenix, and tried to summon God."

"And also break the 'Fourth Wall,' whatever that means," Briggs added stiffly. "South Dakota apparently…'perfected'...the Tokyo Bay trio's breakthrough." More groans ensued.

"In any case," Gōtō rubbed his temples in resignation, "this somehow caused a bizarre sequence of events that resulted in all naval base internet to redirect to a website called SpaceBattles. Whatever gets written on this...site, happens in real life?"

It seemed like a terrible joke really, that random strangers on the internet could come together, write random "what-if" rules that would nevertheless have terrible, headache inducing consequences in the real world. Yet here they were, admirals from continent to continent holding an emergency meeting on what to do.

"That's at least how I understand it," Holloway grunted. "Otherwise, how on earth did Phoenix get from San Diego to Yokosuka without anyone noticing?"

"She could have you know, not actually dismantled her prototype teleporter, stowed it somewhere, and then decided now was the perfect time to test it?" Admiral Suwabe replied evenly. "I mean, the science shipgirls aren't exactly known for not pulling off crazy stunts with stashed-away equipment."

"I can confirm it's real," Hartman sighed. "Someone had the genius idea to write a rule telling a shipgirl to stop punching herself. It's been almost a week now since the rule, and she's still punching herself."

There was the loud sound of unanimous thuds as several commanders began thumping their heads against the desk in frustration.

"Here's a simple idea," Briggs cut in, "why don't we just simply write a rule banning all abyssals from existence-"

"I RESENT THAT," Suwabe cut in sharply. "I keep my abyssals in line, and they are very loyal to the cause, mind you!"

"Okay, so what about a rule where all the abyssals revolt against the Director and join our cause?"

"Aurora and Gangut already tried," Admiral Makarov shook her head dejectedly, "and there was a firestorm of fury on the forum. They said it was too 'mary-suish' and it would 'kill the thread,' so someone well-respected there wrote a counter-rule."

Gōtō massaged his temples furiously. "So ending the Abyssal War is too far-fetched, but forcing us to deal the monstrosity called Aso for months on end, combatting Aoba's sensationalistic newsreporting, stopping Enterprise going on 'walks,' and constantly making my muffins as the butt of many jokes is fair game? Is it too much to ask for someone to give me an uneventful honeymoon with Kongō, or even merely an enjoyable vacation where the base isn't on fire? Will no one rid us of these meddlesome writers?"

"Careful what you wish for, Shinichi," Admiral Graham called out warningly. "The last king who said those lines regretted it." Most of his counterparts however nodded in agreement with Gōtō. All except one.

"Weidong, you've been pretty quiet this entire time. What say you about the state of affairs?"

"Well," Admiral Zheng bowed his head apologetically, "I'm sorry for not telling you all sooner, but there is a way to get to the...writers."

"What?"

"Apparently, Anshan showed me that they have a discord," at that moment he pulled out his smartphone and passed it around for emphasis, "and in this discord they plan and discuss prospective rules."

"What?"

"Not all of them are in there, mind you, but it's clear they all know each other and keep in touch somehow so they probably do approve-"

"What the actual hell, Weidong?!"

"Huh? What's the matter?"

"You not only kept the fact that you knew about this 'channel,' which could not only end this madness by letting us somehow reason with these people, a secret, but you let Anshan, not Taiyuan, not Chongqing, not Liaoning, but Anshan of all shipgirls, talk with them for a week?"

"Well, it's clearly a sign of how capable Admiral Zheng is if we're all still here," Admiral Makarov chuckled weakly.

"In my defense I was attempting to damage control the incident," the PLAN admiral smiled awkwardly, "you know Anshan is a very idealistic destroyer, and some of the people in that discord from what I can tell got into a political disagreement with her. Not to pick on the JMSDF kanmusu, but imagine if Aoba or Aso got in there. It would not end well. For any of us."

"Actually, I disagree," Briggs countered. "Here's what I think we should do."

Scroll. Scroll. Scroll.

Click.

Sigh.

"Littorio, get the cross."

"What?"

"Someone posted lewd pictures of Pola again in the 'Not Safe for Destroyers' channel. Apparently, it's 'part of my religion' or some nonsense like that."

Littorio gave Roma a comforting headpat.

"It's strange isn't it, how people with such great powers and potentials use it for such mundane things."

"Okay everyone, I'm about to post a new rule. Get ready!"

"3!"

"2!"

"1"

"0!"

Mighty Mo 9963. After due consideration, the Admiralty has decided that fanfiction contests are now

allowed.

Mighty Mo, Today at 3:13 PM

You, Catfish, BankAccount, and 3,169 others like this.

StickmanReiter But don't we already have a rule forbidding this?

StickmanReiter, Today at 3:15PM

No.

No.

"But that's where you're wrong," Missouri did a dramatic point at the monitor as the likes climbed to 4, 416 (the human poster had not even a single like, haha, and many were even rebutting him). "As one of my sisters would say, DEMOCRACY, bitch!"

→ Welcome, BambooHats!

→ A Wild The Fighting Sausage has appeared!

→ We've been expecting you, Nuke power bitch!

→ HMS Emerald has joined the party!

→ Welcome, GlowandPlunder! We hope you brought pizza!

→ A Onthedime has just spawned in the server!

→ It's Kommuna! Praise the sun!

→ Camouflage_Cruises has just joined! Everyone, look busy!

PointlessArrow shook his head as the list of greetings grew longer and longer. About a week after The White Haired Girl joined, there was a rapid explosion of newcomers into "The Admirals Backroom," and the once-empty channel was now filled with people spamming things from memes, historical tidbits, facepalm-worthy conversations, and heated political debates. It was a drastic change, really, and he wasn't sure if he quite liked it. He wasn't a fairly extroverted person, and the sheer number of people spamming everyone and causing his discord notifications to be bloated to 100 was getting tiresome.

But he supposed in a way that it was a good thing. There had been a lengthy debate on the English-speaking forums for Kantai Collection as to whether the franchise was dying, and some even cast doubt as to how stable its competitor Azur Lane would be a few years from now. Yet somehow, from somewhere deep in the abyss that was internet fandoms, there was a massive influx of new people who indiscriminately enjoyed the concept of shipgirls and were now flooding the place with new posts. The so-called "rulesverse" thread had 50 new rules alone in the past day; not only that, but they were also showering the posts of aspiring KC writers (even the ones he found less funny) with hundreds of likes.

They even gave his old pet story, "Z is for Zulu," some tender loving care.

I should really get back to working on it, he thought. It was supposed to be a very long story, featuring some older, overlooked warships divided into three arcs. Alas, honors thesis and medical school happened, and the story was now left before the actual first arc even got into full swing at 100k words. If only he could find the time...

Blip.

Huh, a new direct message on discord.

It was from The White Haired Girl.

The White Haired Girl

Hey, PointlessArrow.

Do you actually know who I am?

Did he really want to know who he/she was? On The Admirals Backroom, everyone respected each other's privacy. Even the slightest slip of another member's identity was promptly forgotten in the name of confidentiality.

Because I know who you are.

Was he misunderstanding this user? Hadn't they already made this clear before?

PointlessArrow "StickmanReiter"

Yes, I'm PointlessArrow.

The White Haired Girl

No, as in who you really are.

Was this supposed to be scary? Because it sounded like one of the older discord people trolling him with a roleplaying account. Only a month ago Budgie had "accidentally" gotten "hacked" by Providence, and Kras had his account momentarily "borrowed" by Kirov. A great conversation piece, but otherwise nothing serious.

PointlessArrow"StickmanReiter"

I'm a medical student who dabbles in history and had an interest in KC from history. What else is

there to know?

The White Haired Girl

You're not taking me seriously…

Do I need to pull BambooHats into this?

Man, how far were they going to go with this charade? It was funny yes, but they were clearly trying to be serious. And why on earth were they using Anshan's and Mikasa's handle from the Shipgirl Handle List from the cannons page?

The White Haired Girl

You know what? Screw this.

I'm going to deal with you myself.

She/he posted one final link before disappearing. It was a link to the rulesverse thread, and a new rule, number 9999.

The White Haired Girl 9999. Anshan is no longer allowed to harass PointlessArrow about what rule

10,000 will be.

The White Haired Girl, Today at 9:25 PM

BambooHats, The White Haired Girl, FatalLegalist, and 200 others like this.

Seriously? The beleaguered student was tempted to give the user a like just for the audacity of such a post. Then again, with that post, he decided that he had enough internet for a day.

He was about to turn off the lights and take a nap when he came face to face with a green-eyed girl with black pigtails, grinning at him like a maniac.

"I told you I was coming to deal with you myself," Anshan smirked in triumph.

"Let's not be so quick to jump to conclusions," he said hastily, eyeing potential escapes from the room. Unfortunately, she was conveniently standing in front of the only way into and out of the place.

"I agree, and by the way," her Cheshire Cat grin grew broader, "don't try and even think about escaping. We CCP gals know a thing or two about encirclements and trapping people."

"Second United Front," he groaned. "Chiang Kai-shek and the bathroom. I'm very familiar."

"Of course you are," the ex-Gnevny destroyer casually picked up an history book he had lying about, Jay Taylor's The Generalissimo. "I see you've read some interesting texts while in college."

"Don't get any ideas, we had to read some early CCP texts too."

"But quite conveniently this is the largest book," Anshan countered, "and also the most prominent one in your bookshelf."

"Of all the ships I intended to write about, why does it have to be you," he groaned.

"Because you're the only one writing about me in English as far as I know, and without all of that imperialistic pomp I so dislike."

"I do see you as bit of an idealogue, and people will probably see you the same way," he warned.

"And there's nothing wrong with that!" she beamed. "Hey, I'm not stupid, I know my country has its faults, but I'm thankful that you know, didn't make me 'Comrade Chinese One' or something else stupid. I'm simply someone who loves her country too much, and that's okay! I mean, if I'm going to be honest, New Jersey isn't that far from what that user has described her as either and no one complains."

"But still...you're a bit of a minefield to work with," he muttered. "Why not Mikasa? No offense against you of course, but that WIP story is basically her story."

Anshan gave him a funny look. "Do you really want Mikasa in this place, especially after you gave her back her suitcases?"

"Oh gods, she's actually using those improved suitcases?"

"Yes, what did you think she was going to do, hug them like how otakus attack their morally degenerate pillows? Be glad it's me. I don't burn people's houses down; I just complain about your ideological alignment and then offer you a deal," she drew a chair and rolled it over until she was right in front of his face.

"Let's make a United Front," the destroyer gave her right hand in offering. "Me and you. I'll let you go and pretend this never happened in exchange for the following. One. You promise to update Z is for Zulu, and soon. I want to appear now dagnabit! You'll be doing the other shipgirls a favor as well. Two. You convince the other writers to create a compilation of peaceful snippets. We're all getting tired of being blown up by abyssals and each other; can we just not have a wholesome moment?"

"That's going to be hard with, you know, the 2,000 plus writers in discord," PointlessArrow deadpanned.

"Do you really think there's 2,000 writers in discord?" Anshan sighed. "No you fool, that's us! Did you think I was the only one who bravely infiltrated your channel?"

"If you guys are really so helpless then you've been doing a good job changing fate by loading the rules in your favor with all those likes," he said stiffly, remembering the fairly-obvious warning Anshan had given on SpaceBattles not even a moment before.

"It's not the same...at first it worked, and worked really well," she wrung her hands in agony. "But there are still some things we can't agree on. Like no one wants to explain how Gōtō's vacation with Kongō went. It's just...awkward, you know?"

"So you want us to write the lewd stuff so you don't have to."

"WHAT? No! No! That's not at all what I was saying. Romance is something that's a bit of a foreign concept. At least to me. Romance of the Three Kingdoms? Great novel, tried and true classic, no problem. But human romance...eurgh."

"Don't you have Dream of the Red Chamber as a reference?"

"Excuse me, but I would hope that Gōtō doesn't end up becoming a monk."

"Fair enough. So you want all of us to write a grand, smashing success of a snippet without your help, and me to update my story that involves you in some role-"

"-we'll be watching too in case you don't-"

"-all of which sounds reasonable. Anything else?"

"Buy me some Begnets."

"Some what?"

"Begnets. I want to see if they go well with Qingdao Beer."

"You mean beignets."

"Yes, yes, whatever. I heard they were good around here, so I wanted to get some on my way out."

"...aren't you a bit old to have a sweet tooth?"

"These aren't all for me, you doofus. I'm planning to split them up with the other PLAN girls too; China isn't exactly known for its pseudo-French cuisine. Also, you can never be old enough to have a sweet tooth. Never forget that."

Falkeno

So Stick, what exactly are we doing again?

Oh gods, he could smell Belfast's anxiety and Vanguard's glee from here.

PointlessArrow"StickmanReiter"

What TheBudgieAdmiral said.

The Budgie Admiral

I'm just following what you were thinking, Stick. So a break-the-fourth-wall-snippet featuring our headcanons?

PointlessArrow tried not to think too hard that MissileMasterRace, one of Budgie's first OCs, had just responded to Budgie's comment with a heart emote. It was a bit of an out-of-this-world-experience, realizing that the people that they were around in chat were not even from the same universe.

Thank the gods radar didn't work through electronic devices.

PointlessArrow"StickmanReiter"

Yeah basically.

KaiYves

Sounds good to me. I'll start working on it later this week.

There was a bit of a heartwarming moment as Alvin posted a wholesome sticker to Kai's remark. He wasn't sure how many writers actually knew that their OCs were actually in-chat and not just random role-playing accounts, but all the same the shipgirls (and shipguys) were clearly very very happy with the results.

mendelevianDescendent

blesses the industrious doctor, falk, kai and budgie and their fleets

Even the ocean liners were taking after the chaplain chemist and offering supporting emoticons to everyone's comments. He hoped Britannic approved of him not studying to lurk at this moment, however…

As a side note, maybe he should ask them for party planning recommendations. They would need to have a party once all was said and done, and ocean liners were masters at that sort of art.

PointlessArrow wasn't the only one with that in mind.

IJNFleetAdmiral

Hang on a second, we should make this a rule to remember.

How about Admiral Gōtō and Kongō finally make it official and get married?

Blip. New message from BambooHats

BambooHats

Just so you know, between you and me, Kongō is squeeing like mad right now, and Gōtō fainted.

PointlessArrow

Oh fuck, did we mess up? Is he okay?

BambooHats

He fainted from joy.

PointlessArrow

Oh, awesome!

Falkeno

Sure, why not.

The Budgie Admiral

This has my approval.

BambooHats

There is literally an earthquake in Yokosuka right now. Please make sure that he actually writes the snippet; I'd be heartbroken if she is.

PointlessArrow

Will do!

Blip. New message from The White Haired Girl

The White Haired Girl

Remember your promise :)

PointlessArrow

I will.

...

 **10,000h: Mississippi is ordered to take an actual vacation, away from her lab, for at least a week. If anyone sees her trying to work on her projects down there, alert her sisters as they're concerned about her.**

 _AngryAmerican_

It had taken her months to assemble and in the last few days it had taken all of her waking hours, nearly sixty feet across and weighing several tons, Mississippi sat down at the control station in the center of her detector and began the startup. Shipgirls and Abyssals both were things of mostly magic, being the literal spirits of ships in the form of humans, and if it had an effect on the world then it should be detectable.

Hence the detector. Designed to measure the ethereal shifts of the formation of Abyssals and shipgirls anywhere on the planet. She cracked her knuckles, and set to work. The hours ticked past as Mississippi methodically carried out the procedures that she had drafted almost a year ago, before she had even started construction. At last, she entered the last command and turned the key.

Instantly every screen displayed the blue screen of death. Mississippi paused for a moment, then her eye twitched, then she snapped.

With a scream of undiluted fury she slammed her fist into a panel, ignoring the jolt of electricity as it ran though her. Mississippi withdrew her arm and felt her throat tighten, if anything was worth crying about in all her work, this failure was-

A screen came back online. The standard look of a Google document, she'd used them often enough when she collaborated with other shipgirls around the world. But this was different.

"Unofficial slash alternative shipgirls in cannons?" Mississippi righted her chair and pulled up closer, "This is a list of unofficial slash alternative designs for shipgirls that may or may not have a portrayal in Kantai Collection, Warship Girls, Victory Belles, Azur Lane, etc. Many authors have their own headcanons, and if the authors so choose they're listed in detail her. Feel free to borrow some of these for your own stories." What the heck is this even? Kantai Collection, Warship Girls? Stories?

On the right side in the outline, under the heading of Angry_American was-

"What the hell?" Mississippi read down the list, the names of her sister ships, all of them and then. Mississippi (BB-41) (New Mexico Class). With a trembling hand, she took her mouse and clicked on her name. As she read her entry, she felt a chill climbing up her back. This is me, it's an accurate me. Who the hell wrote this- On the right side, the IM box came up.

Anonymous Iguana: Howdy, who's editing?

Without really thinking, Mississippi typed out a reply.

Anonymous Kangaroo: USS Mississippi, who the hell are you?

Anonymous Iguana: What?

Anonymous Iguana: Angry_American on Discord

Anonymous Iguana: Who are you really?

Mississippi glanced over at her phone as it started to ring, she snatched it up, "Yes?"

"Hey sis," New Mexico said. "Have you seen the news lately? I'm glad you're alright, things are stranger than usual."

"How so?"

"Apparently, someone opened a sort of gate between two different realities. Don't know who, but I think I can guess who."

"That's great New Mexico, I'm going to have to call you back…" Mississippi said as she hung up, eyes locked on the text box. Could it be? I'm talking with someone from a different universe?

Anonymous Kangaroo: Angry, what is a shipgirl to you?

Anonymous Iguana: What?

Anonymous Iguana: They're a personification of a ship's spirit

Anonymous Iguana: I'd think we'd have been over this in the Discord before, how did you get this link?

Anonymous Kangaroo: That is a long story, how did you learn so much about them?

Anonymous Iguana: This document is for original characters, ones that we use in stories. I've done the most with the Standard battleships so far since I don't like most of the 'official' game ones.

Mississippi ran a hand through her hair, In that world shipgirls are from games? She grabbed a pen and started jotting down notes on a pad of paper, This is an incredible opportunity!

Inside the detector, a damaged wire bundle from when Mississippi punched though it fell down and landed atop one of the cooling cores. In a matter of seconds, the reaction spread through the entire machine, and into the support generators located below the control station. An arc of electricity blossomed though the room, throwing Mississippi away as the detector began to meltdown. Before she was slammed face-first into the solid concrete walls, Mississippi cursed more vividly than she ever had before.

Then the world went dark.

The only light came from a floor lamp as the man known online as Angry_American wrote in his journal.

Strange thing happened, someone calling themselves Mississippi showed up on the Shipgirl doc. They chatted for a few minutes, then went offline. No one on the Discord is owning up to it, but there are an awful lot of roleplayers on there all of a sudden. Mayhap I just missed something.

Putting the matter out of his mind, he turned his attention to the day's other events.

Mississippi crawled from under the rubble, her clothing and hair singed and torn, and her entire body covered in soot and concrete dust. She hammered the floor as she saw what was left of her machine, now a smoldering ruin of its former magnificence. After a moment she sighed and stood up,

Salvage the data I can, shower, then start reviewing it. Perhaps something useful survived yet, I wonder about that person though, that 'Angry_American' who knew about me, and probably all of us. Was he really from another universe?

With any luck, the data that went offsite to her backup server should be able to prove it one way or the other.

...

 **10000i: We've already prohibited portals that transport you into other universes, what made you think creating portals to look into other universes would somehow be okay?**

 _TheBudgieAdmiral_

"So you've let us down here." Yuubari number one shot an angry, tired look at South Dakota. "In the middle of the night. In the cellar of the base. To show us a computer?" Yuubari two sighed dismissively as her sister spoke.

"Just you wait!" South Dakota responded, and a triumphant smile developed on her face. "It's not just any computer, you see."

"If it's your newest gaming rig I swear to Azathoth I will shove a Long Lance up your ass so far you can taste the oxygen." the second Yuubari hissed.

"No. No, it's not my newest gaming rig. You really do have a low opinion of me, don't you?!" South Dakota shot back. "No, you are here because I have made a monumental breakthrough in information technology and dimensional engineering! BEHOLD!"

The mad American scientist opened a thick steel door to unveil a room filled with an apparatus of such mind-boggling complexity that any uninformed onlooker would simply have described it as a mess: Besides towering stacks of SSDs and a huge transformer on one wall, a pair of tesla coils caught the Yuubari twins' attention. A myriad of cables ran towards a desk to one wall of the room, on which two screens were positioned: One displaying a complicated set of graphs and dials, and the other one displayed a simple Windows desktop.

"The wallbreaker 4000 (trademark pending)!" South Dakota proclaimed and swung her arm around, indicating the room's contents in an overly dramatic fashion. "This is what I have been working on for over a year now!"

"Hmm. So I bet this is not, in fact, a completely ordinary server farm?" Yuubari two questioned. Her sister was more enthusiastic.

"Looks impressive. What are you doing here? You said something about dimensions, are you tapping into other virtual universes to get unlimited RAM or what?"

There was no universe in which South Dakota's smile was not scary. "Better." She said and laughed. "This device transcends the framework of our known universe and can tap into other universe's internets!"

Now, the Japanese science twins' jaws hit the floor.

"Well… Sort of. You see, it doesn't completely tap into them. Schrödinger has something against that for some reason. It just simulates them based on rough input coming from these universes. But the simulation is pretty damn accurate as far as I was able to tell."

The jaws closed. "That's nothing special! We've had inter-dimensional portals opened up in places before!" Yuubari one - or was it two? Anyways, she shouted and was about to turn and leave when South Dakota came after her.

"Wait! I found something during my searches! There is a universe where we don't exist!" Yuubari stopped. "And they theorize about our existence! Don't you want to know what they think about us? Where's your scientific enthusiasm!" South Dakota pleaded.

"Sister? I want to know what this is all about." Yuubari two (or was it one?) said to her clone.

"Fine. Let's see what you've got. I'm just sleepy… and when I'm sleepy I get grumpy… Sorry SoDak."

South Dakota did not respond, instead she sat on the chair in front of the screen and typed commands into a console. The hardware behind them slowly came to life with audible humming and crackling of electricity.

The screen turned black for a second, and then went back to the Windows desktop. Only now, for whatever reason, the house on the green grassy hills was gone. It was just the landscape and the sky. Huh. Weird.

"In this universe the house on the green grassy hills does not exist. They still rolled with the picture it seems. Weird, right?" Weird indeed.

"So… We are now viewing a parallel universe? Through a computer screen?" Yuubari two seemed doubtfilled to say the least.

"Yeah!"

"And… You say you can access the internet of the parallel universe from here?"

"Correct!"

"Well… Then let's go!"

South Dakota smiled one of her mad smiles with way too many teeth and her hand guided the cursor towards the Microsoft Edge icon. A click later a Discord server popped up. At first glance it seemed relatively normal, no weird glitches, no artifacts, no sign of a different universe at all, actually.

"Hmm. 'The Admirals Backroom', eh? Weird name."

"True. Well, I didn't name it. They did."

"They, as in, the people that theorize about our existence?" Yuubari one asked and gave South Dakota a sideward look. The battleship nodded.

"I haven't spent much time here yet, but apparently they're authors of sorts."

"Authors… of sorts?" Yuubari two said, dragging the last two words out like a piece of chewing gum.

"Well…" South Dakota said, and- blushed? "I-it'll be easier if I j-just show you."

mendelevianDescendant:  
"so where do shipgirls keep their fuel then?"

MagicalGeek:  
"Breasts? Like, that seems to be the established headcanon."

IJNFleetAdmiral:  
"Would explain why destroyers have a smaller bust than, say, battleships."

The Budgie Admiral:  
"Issue is, there'd be some inconsistencies with different designs for the same shipgirl. Take Belfast for example. There are two versions if I recall correctly."

Falkeno:  
"We don't talk about about MAID!Belfast here."

The Budgie Admiral:  
"Fair. We shalt also not talk about FURRY!Kaga, or else the perpetrator gets dive-bombed."

mendelevianDescendant:  
"headpats for Belfast because she needs them, but also hugs"

"also headpats for Kaga"

"and Kii and Providence"

Yuubari did a double take at that. "Wait,who the hell is Kii?"

South Dakota meanwhile was seemingly out of answers, and instead went on to check multiple dials and graphs on the second screen. The chat however did not let up, and so both Yuubaris soon turned their attention at the main screen again.

The Budgie Admiral:  
"Aww, thank you 3"

PointlessArrow:  
"Maybe it's in the areas where a normal human body deposits fat? Hips, breast, legs, belly?"

mendelevianDescendant:  
"sounds plausible"

The Budgie Admiral:  
"I would say thicc… But I am not suicidal…"

Jupi the Spook:  
"Heh."

"Also, I exist."

mendelevianDescendant:  
"bless this intel officer"

Jupi the Spook:  
"*pats the server chaplain in return*"

The Budgie Admiral:  
"*also pats server chaplain*"

Yuubari one shot Yuubari two a worried look as the chat descended in variations of headpats, hugs and blessings. After a short while, the chat died down, seemingly, the one they called mendelevianDescendant had disconnected.

Falkeno:  
"Mendel's MIA guys..."

Jupi the Spook:  
":v"

The Budgie Admiral:  
"NUUUU"

mendelevianDescendant:  
"sorry guys, my laptop just Kaga'd"

"The laptop just what?" Yuubari shouted at her clone. What did Kaga have to do with anything?

MagicalGeek:  
"RIP your overheated laptop:("

"You really should get a cooling pad, these things help and are dirt cheap"

Jupi the Spook:  
"*pats laptop*"

The Budgie Admiral:  
"You must appease the Kaga!"

Jupi the Spook:  
"*retreats burned hand*"

The Budgie Admiral:  
"Try ZuiKaga images!"

"Here:"

A link appeared on screen, a link to Danbooru. "Huh, what's this?" Yuubari said and clicked on the link.

"NOO DON'T-!" South Dakota shouted, but it was too late.

All three shipgirls gaped in awe and disgust at the images on the screen. Now, to be fair to the website's hosts, there were some phenomenal pieces featuring Kaga and Zuikaku: Some hilarious doujins, and some beautiful and heartwarming drawings.

But a large part of the images was porn. Very disturbing porn. Not only because of the content, but also because of the familiarity the three onlookers shared with the depicted characters.

"Oh dear SecNav, what has become of us…" Yuubari one whispered and her head banged against the desk.

Yuubari two was busy having a nosebleed.

...

 **10,000j. No, it's not the apocalypse, or a punishment for 'summoning God'. Also, please do not step into the multicoloured beams being fired into the 'hole in the sky'.**

 _MendelvianDescent_

The madness had started when the shipgirls had invaded the Admirals' Backroom server on Discord - a development the young man who called himself Mendel found incredibly bizarre but manageable, containable at least. Some days later the real trouble began, as fellow authors had reported some seriously insane reality-bending anomalies: shipgirls actually manifesting in real life due to what appeared to be a giant purple rift in the sky, and even he was not exempt as he had the absolute misfortune to find I-19 herself out in the street outside his house.

Old Reliable had shown up too and stopped her in her tracks, which was a damn good thing or who else knows what mayhem that lewdmarine could have gotten up to. Unsurprisingly, after messaging his servermates about the whole incident, he ran straight to Olympic, wanting to speak to the one he had written so much about in person.

Words failed him, and he did not know what to say.

How could they not, when he seemed so small and Olympic seemed so intimidatingly tall, more than half a foot taller than the lanky bespectacled fellow who now stood in nervous silence before him? Seconds pass, the taller regarding the shorter with curiosity and furrowed brows, and Mendel turned away to leave out of embarrassment before the spirit of the ocean liner spoke up, stopping him in his tracks.

"You're the one who's been writing about us, yes?"

His heart practically jumped at being called out like that, and almost unwillingly as if he was afraid to face the ensuing criticism, Mendel turned to nod at him. "Uh… yeah that'd be me all right."

He wasn't expecting Olympic to salute him, a half-smile gracing the liner's features. "Don't ever stop for good alright? It's nice to see our stories getting told alongside those of all the warships."

Mendel froze at those words, a lump rising in his throat. Hearing such a commendation from the subject of his own writings, which he kept up only irregularly and with a constant worry of backlash, was like a welcome balm to his anxieties, and slowly he raised his hand to give Old Reliable a proper salute, the other returning it in quick, snappy turn.

That had been half an hour prior. Now, in a different place and a different realm entirely, he stood face to face with another him who looked to be both priest and scientist all at once, and equally as madcap to boot.

"So let me get this straight." Two bespectacled fellows, lookalikes through and through, stood eye to eye with each other, one in jeans and a T shirt, the other in a cassock and labcoat and looking distinctly in need of more sleep. "You thought it would be a good idea to invite me out of my reality and into this one why exactly?"

Not that he had a particular excuse to make such accusations - he was the one who thought it would be a good idea to have a look into a portal shaped like a constantly-shifting closed spirograph curve, and apparently leaned into it far enough that he fell right fucking through it and into a universe where the things he and his fellow SpaceBattles nerds wrote about were very real and very dangerous.

"Firstly," Dr Mendel began, "you had every opportunity to not go down the rabbit hole, don't try and pin this one on me. Second of all, I would have thought you would have figured by now that after all the shipgirls making first contact with your universe, it was only a matter of time before the wall came down and shit started hitting the fan."

"Shit hitting the fan is an understatement," Mendel-the-author grumbled. "There's a great big fucking rift in the sky and it happens to be bright fucking purple and it's honestly a miracle nobody's flipping the fuck out about it apparently looking like the apocalypse? Sky being rent apart and all?"

The chemist-slash-chaplain nodded, brows furrowing as he led his alternate off down a hallway. "This reality has always had a porousness to the barriers between it and other dimensions," he explained, stifling a yawn as the pair of them stopped outside a locked door whose dozen locks took half a minute to open. "The trouble is, this time the breach is more severe than anyone's willing to tolerate, not since word got out that somebody tried to 'summon God'. Ripped a hole right through the stage's curtains, so to speak, and now the British fleet is wondering how the fuck they found themselves with a reality-warper on their hands."

"Which brings us to this." Yanking a curtain off the bulky pile in the center of the chamber they had walked into, Dr Mendel revealed a bizarre and complicated device that looked like somebody had combined a transmaterializer and a Stargate with serpentine motifs. The design of the twin snakes flanking the locked center portal was unmistakable.

"I thought I'd written that the blueprints for that were confiscated," the author mused, brows furrowing at the sight of it. "It looks… different from its canonical form."

The resident half-mad scientist chuckled, shaking his head as he started fiddling with the adjustments for the machine's settings. "That's because it's not going to switch the places of two people from different universes," he said. "Otherwise I wouldn't have needed to generate a Skaian gate to open the passage for you."

"Duly noted," Mendel answered. "So what does it do?"

"Once I have it properly calibrated and ready to g- aha." Stepping back, the scientist brought a dark green key out of his pocket, placing it on the end of some tongs before gingerly inserting it into the keyhole. No sooner had the end entered it did the key leap out of the tongs and wriggle its way inside the hole - very unsettling behavior to both Mendels. "I hate when it does that..."

There was the sound of clockwork slowly ratcheting into motion, the hiss of pneumatic pistons and the building hum of something charging up, as the lock on the portal disengaged to reveal what looked like an oversized record disk slowly beginning to spin in its place. The twin serpents were opening their mouths not long after, crocodilian heads raised ceilingwards - and then with a low boom that rumbled throughout the room, two beams of brilliant light flashing between different colors at dizzying pace erupted skyward from the gaping jaws.

"Is..." Mendel could only watch in aghast awe at the light show, comprehension slowly dawning. "Did you just fire the freaking clockwork majyyks into the rift?"

"Clockwork majyyks, temporal energy, raw and undiluted Time," the chemist chaplain rattled off with a nonchalant shrug. "Been working on this with South Dakota and Yuubari ever since the shipgirls found a way to link up with your internet, just in case a situation like the one up in the sky right now presented itself. But it's not for tearing things apart this time, surprisingly enough."

Dr. Mendel's eyes traveled up the path of the beams, up to the place where they pierced the ceiling. "It's for sealing up the rift — this is one dimensional breach that can't be allowed to stay intact. Who knows what other kinds of mayhem might ensue if other authors found their way here, or yet more shipgirls found their way into your universe. And don't even get me started on 'what if Abyssals got in here'."

"And this relates to me how?" Mendel-the-author retorted, raising a brow at his doppelganger as he tapped his foot. "I don't think you would've brought me in here just to show off your fancy dimensional sewing machine."

"You're an Author," the other replied simply. "As I've heard before, your kind tend to wreak havoc when brought into this realm so I figured you might be able to put your reality-warping thing to good use instead for a change. And not only that, you're Time-bound. If there's anyone who can fine-tune the clockwork majyyks, it's you."

Said author would fold his arms over his chest at the implication. "What would you have me do then?"

Dr Mendel drew a circle on the nearest piece of paper, and then a diagonal lightning-shaped line running through it. The meaning was obvious to both of them. "The majyyks, by themselves, are chaotic and highly unpredictable in behavior. What we need is for you to comb that unruly tangle, make the beams coherent, and reset the barrier to the point in time where it was still intact. The portal to bring you back home should open up just before the wall seals up for good, but after that it'll be up to the other shipgirls to bring the strays back home with their own portals."

The other Mendel nodded in understanding, lapsing into silence as he contemplated everything that had gone on up to this point. Writing about the fleets was one thing, but actually setting foot in their universe with all the power that came with being an author of it? What would you do if you were given the power to rewrite reality with your very keystrokes?

The author was shaken out of his reverie by a surprisingly prescient remark. "You don't have to be a god to this universe you know."

"Wait, what?" Now the dimensional intruder had a confused expression on his face. "What brought that on?"

"Just because you write about them doesn't mean they're slaves to your pen you know? Remember that quote?" There was a wry grin on Dr Mendel's face as he raised a brow at his counterpart. "'we dont have fuckin arcs were just human beings'. If this dimensional breach teaches you guys anything, it's that these folks are every bit as real as you guys, even if not in a reality or timeline normally accessible to you. Think of it as being divine scribes if you will, penning the exploits of the world's fleets as inspiration wafts into your minds from the ethers between universes."

Mendel looked distinctly confused at that thesis. "And those shipgirls who read our writings as prophecy and attempt to defy the happenings stated to come?" he asked, stuffing his hands in his pockets.

The chaplain chemist chuckled, shaking his head. "Why else do you think the Edit function exists? Futures are not and do not have to be set in stone you know. The pen of an author wields so much power over worlds, but it takes a special sort of responsibility to restrain oneself from abusing that power to screw characters - or the readers - over."

"I'm being lectured on abuse of authorial power by an alternate and technically fictional me," Mendel grumbled, stepping back to eye his doppelganger over. "I suppose back-and-forth with myself is part and parcel of being Timebound but it's still mighty jarring, even if you know me too well because you are me in a sense. But I get what you're saying alright? I get it."

There was a moment's pause, his hand hovering over the center of the large, spinning disc. "Do you think they'll remember us when the walls are up again?"

"Who can say." Dr Mendel shrugged, brows furrowing in contemplation. "The reset might make them forget as a side effect, it might make them imagine it was all a dream, or it might not. But just because you erase what you've written on paper doesn't mean the imprints aren't there anymore, you know? Whether they remember or not, you guys impacted them, touched them all the same. I pray, if they do remember, that their memories or dreams of you folks are good."

Mendel nodded, Olympic's salute to him still fresh on his mind. Taking a deep breath, he lowered his hand towards the disc as it slowed down to a halt so contact could be made. Do the Timey Thing…

In another universe still, he would have borne the title of Page of Time, and in a universe where magic was real and Authors could do almost anything, was it any surprise that the energies of time itself would be bent into serving him this one time? Slowly, surely, a bright golden line began to appear at the edge of the disc, creeping diagonally towards the center like a progress bar as the 'System Restore' for the wall between universes began.

...

 **10,000k. The SCIENCE!Girls are to fix whatever the hell they did that opened a gateway to another universe. It is MADNESS.**

 _IJNFleetAdmiral_

Admiral Goto sipped his morning tea and awaited his daily visit/tackle from Kongo. He'd received a message from Admiral Holloway late last night about Phoenix and SoDak doing something science-y that involved a lot of electricity, a gateway, and maniacal laughter that frightened anyone who heard it. Then, apparently, there had been a loud noise like a piece of cloth being ripped, followed by...nothing. Everything seemed to be in order - meaning there were no explosions, fires, creatures from other words rampaging through large cities, emotional breakdowns, and whatnot - so Goto remained cautiously optimistic that whatever had occurred over in the States was a fluke and would not affect operations in Japan.

The door opened, and Goto glanced up. He knew it wasn't Kongo, as there had been no thunderous footsteps and ecstatic shouts. He was therefore quite surprised to see an American man in his mid-thirties wearing an Imperial Japanese Navy uniform, complete with Fleet Admiral sleeve stripes and Gensui badge.

"Can I help you?" Goto asked.

"For starters, you can get out of my chair," the man replied.

Goto blinked. "I'm sorry? This is my office, and this is my chair."

The American glanced around. "No, this is my office and my chair. Who are you?" He glanced at Goto's chair. "And more importantly, what did you do with my chair? It's different."

"I'm Rear Admiral Isoroku Goto, Commander of the Kanmusu Naval Base, and this is the same chair I've had for years. Who are you?"

"Fleet Admiral Matthew Garrett Avers, Commander-in-Chief of the World Kanmusu Fleet and Commander, Rengō Kanmusutai."

Goto glanced at Nagato, Mutsu, and Oyodo, who seemed just as confused as he did. "World Kanmusu Fleet? Rengō Kanmusutai? I'm sorry, but I've never heard of either of those organizations."

Avers raised an eyebrow. "You've never heard of the World Kanmusu Fleet? The world-wide fleet that every shipgirl command belongs to? The group that eradicated the Pacific Abyssals and forced the Atlantic Abyssals into a truce due to depleting them to near-extinction?"

"Eradicated the Pacific Abyssals?" Goto looked astounded. "What are you talking about? The war's still going on!"

Now it was Avers' turn to look confused. "No, the war ended over a year ago when we delivered a MOAB directly into the Pacific Abyssal Mother's Royal Chambers at the bottom of Challenger Deep in the Marianas Trench, coupled with a massive naval battle in the Philippine Sea that rivaled Tsushima, Jutland, Midway, Philippine Sea, and Leyte Gulf all put together."

Goto was prevented from replying by the sound of the elevator. He knew what was coming next.

Oh, no! Not right now…

Sure enough…

"TEIII~TOOO~KUUU~!"

To Goto's surprise, Avers braced himself as well. Seconds later, the door blew open and Kongo burst in.

"BURNING LOVE!" The fast battleship announced as she did her standard flying-cuddle-ball leap…

...straight into Avers' arms. Even Nagato's jaw hit the floor at that development.

Goto forced down the sharp pain that lanced through his heart at the sight of the woman he loved nuzzling and making happy noises in the arms of another man. But it was Kongo's next actions that nearly did him in. The fast battleship paused in her ministrations to Avers and looked at him before asking Avers,

"Teitoku-des? Who's he?"

Silence reigned in the Admiral's office, save for Oyodo pulling out a small notebook and writing something down. Goto refrained from commenting when he saw the title on the cover as reading Goto: Observations by a Light Cruiser on the Psychological Impact of an Admiral's Long-Term Exposure to Shipgirl Insanity.

Avers saw Goto looking at him and Kongo as if the world had ended and life was no longer worth living.

"What?" the Fleet Admiral asked. "My wife's allowed to be as affectionate as she wants with me."

Nagato raised an eyebrow at that statement. Mutsu emitted a soft gasp of surprise. Oyodo winced and turned to Admiral Goto, who at that moment looked like he needed to be far, far, away from any and all firearms.

The surprises kept coming when another shout was heard.

"TEIII~TOOO~KUUU~!"

Kongo tilted her head adorably and put a finger to her mouth. "What?"

The door again banged open and a second Kongo identical to the first bounced into the room and launched herself at Goto. She was quite surprised when the Japanese Admiral not only caught her but returned her embrace and affectionate nuzzles.

"My, Teitoku! You're so affectionate today, Dess!" the fast battleship purred. "Perhaps I can persuade you to take a long lunch, hmm?"

At this point, Goto was so thankful he still had his Kongo that he was willing to forgo regulations, just this once.

"Anything you want, sweetheart," he replied, kissing the top of Kongo's head. The fast battleship squealed in excitement.

"Boy, did you just give a lot of leeway," Avers muttered, laughing softly.

Goto's Kongo turned to see Avers being cuddled by a mirror image of herself.

"What?" She did the 'cute-Kongo-thinking' pose. "Two Teitokus?"

"Yes, one of us for each of you," Avers replied, not wanting the other Kongo to decide to team up with his wife; he didn't think the other Kongo's Admiral would survive that emotionally.

At that moment, the door was flung open again, this time by Akashi.

"Admiral, I think we might have a problem resulting from that 'incident' in San Diego yesterday," the repair ship stated. "Look."

Not one, but three Yubaris walked into the office behind her.

"Oh, hey, Admiral," one Yubari replied. "You and Kongo are here, too?"

Goto whimpered and picked up the phone. Nothing is ever easy.

Three hours later, the two Admirals and the two Kongos were having tea together in Goto's office.

"So, you two have been married just over a year, yes?" Goto's Kongo asked her counterpart and her husband.

"Yes!" Avers' Kongo giggled. "Teitoku is mine! Here!" She brought out her phone, pulled up her and Avers' wedding photo, and showed it to Goto's Kongo, who squealed excitedly.

"Ahh! You two look so happy, Dess!" She turned Kongo's phone towards Goto. "Don't they look happy, Teitoku?"

Goto nodded. "They do indeed."

When her wrist was released, Kongo pulled up another photo. "And here are results of our BURNING LOVE! Dess!" She showed Goto and his Kongo a photo of Kongo and Tosh.

Goto smiled at the photo of what looked like a miniature fast battleship and an adorable little boy. He glanced at his girlfriend who – now that he noticed her – was vibrating in place and giving him DesDiv 6-level puppy eyes whose message was crystal clear.

I want that. Now, please.

Before Goto could speak, there was a knock at the door, and a Yubari poked her head in. "Hey, Admiral Avers, this dimension's Akashi said to tell you whatever was broken is about to be fixed, so apparently all you have to do is walk out this door and then walk back in, and you should be back in our dimension." When Avers looked like he was going to inquire, she added, "Don't ask me how or why…it's too complicated to explain."

Avers sighed and nodded. The less he heard about the SCIENCE!girls methods, the better. He stood.

"Thank you for your hospitality, but my wife and I must be off."

Avers shook hands with his counterpart as the two Kongos hugged each other goodbye, and Goto was surprised when the American leaned in.

"Three things I've learned while being in command of my shipgirls. One, destroyers can hit puberty."

"You, too?" Goto asked.

Avers nodded. "Not something I ever want to go through again, but yes. Two, no kanmusu should ever, under any circumstances, visit Walmart."

Goto thought about the implications of that and visibly shuddered.

"Yeah," Avers nodded. "I lived through that little adventure firsthand."

"What's the third thing?"

Avers smiled. "That life's way too short to deny yourself happiness. My advice to you, from one Admiral to another, marry that battleship and start construction of your own little fleet ASAP. You won't regret it."

Goto nodded. "I'll definitely think about it, Admiral…thank you."

Avers turned to go, then paused and murmured, "Also, November 21st is a good day for a wedding. Might make a day remembered for tragedy a day to be remembered for joy and happiness. Just a suggestion."

It took a moment, but eventually Goto got what Avers was referring to as the Japanese Admiral and his fast battleship watched their counterparts from another universe walk through the office door and back home. As Kongo left him with a kiss and a promise of a very fun evening, Goto walked over to his desk and pulled up the website for his bank in order to check his account balance. He glanced at the amount displayed on the screen, then logged out and texted Captain Yonehara.

Isoroku Goto had a ring to shop for, and perhaps the Captain would want to come along and make a similar purchase for a certain heavy cruiser.

...

 **A/N**

 **It's been 10,000 rules. 10,000 instances of explosion, chaos, mental breakdowns, lewdness, rule-breaking, and insanity in general. And for that we just want to say:**

 **THANK YOU FOR YOUR SERVICE. OUR LIVES ARE THAT MUCH BRIGHTER BECAUSE YOU'RE A PART OF THEM. WE LOVE YOU ALL.**

 **(Signed)**

 **All the Admirals (Authors) Worldwide**


	138. Rule 10074

_Rule by TheBudgieAdmiral_

 **10074: A positive rule for once: Providence would like to personally thank the anonymous benefactor that gifted her an adult calendar featuring her boyfriend ("Yes he is!") Marcus Harrington. She greatly appreciates the gift and has asked me to make this rule to express her gratitude.**

The day was decidedly picturesque: Snow outside, the sun was shining, and Yokosuka naval base was feeling the Christmas vibes thanks to a healthy compliment of American shipgirls on visit.

Zuikaku was standing outside the carrier dorms, clad in a stuffed lime-green jacket and a long scarf wrapped tightly around her neck. To her annoyance, the cigarette in her hand had just gone cold, and so she fumbled in her pockets for a lighter, when the door behind her opened. Zuikaku turned around and faced Providence, the US guided missile cruiser that had come over to Japan with the latest convoy.

The two of them had met about a week ago when the convoy arrived, and they had gotten along well from the start. Providence had even assisted Zuikaku in pranking Kaga once, and both had shared a great laugh as the proud flagship of CarDiv1 was desperately trying not to panic as plumes of smoke rose from Akagi's expensive gaming PC. Obviously, the smoke was the result of a well-hidden fairy smoke grenade, but Kaga did not need to know that…

"Hi. You smokin'?" the cruiser asked and stood beside the carrier.

"Yeah. Want some?" Zuikaku responded, holding out a cigarette.

"Nah, I'm fine. Don't smoke."

Both shipgirls stood in silence for a while as the sky went cloudier and snow began to fall, but the American cruiser seemed to grow uneasy, shifting on her feet, and fidgeting with her hands.

"I knew you did not just come out here to share my company." Zuikaku said with a cheeky smile. "So, spill the beans: What's up?"

"Someone is on visit… From the Lake Erie…" Providence responded.

"The Ticonderoga in port? What's the matter?"

"Well, there's this marine corporal on board…"

Zuikaku shot her companion a sideward glance of amusement. "Noooo, don't tell me you have a boyfriend!" she exclaimed in a teasing tone.

Providence just shifted even more uneasily and blushed. But Zuikaku did not care much, she was busy laughing.

"You got a BF? Whaaat?"

"Will you stop teasing me already!" Providence shot back, red as a tomato. Or Kaga when you told her about her body temperature. Same difference.

"Nah, too busy being happy for you. Anyways, why do you bring this up?"

"Well…" Providence hesitated again. "You see, I wanted to ask him out to some place… I was hoping you could name a few nice restaurants here? With a good view? And a romantic atmosphere?"

"So it's new?"

"Yeah…" The cruiser looked to her feet. "In a way…"

"Hm?"

"Nothing. Anyways, is there a place you know? And… and could you ask him to come? I want to surprise him there."

Now Zuikaku was confused. That did seem slightly weird. "Why that?"

"Just do it, please. I'll be in your debt, okay? Just… just do it for me."

v

The next day, Zuikaku made her way through the tight and thoroughly confusing corridors of the Lake Erie. To any normal human, the windowless corridors and hatches would have made for an inescapable labyrinth. But Zuikaku, being a shipgirl, was built following the same universal logic, and what's more, she had support.

So you're looking for Corporal Marcus Harrington? the disembodied voice of the unsummoned spirit of the Lake Erie mused as they continued through her corridors.

"Yup, that's the guy."

A sailor looked up. "I'm sorry, ma'am?"

"Nothing." Zuikaku said quickly and continued on. After all, to ordinary humans without a connection to the spirit realm, it would seem like she was talking to herself.

He's with the marines, I'll show you there. Lake Erie said, smiling invisibly. Indeed, after a short walk they arrived at a door.

Here we are. I'll say goodbye already. Take care of yourself out there, you hear?

"You too, Erie. You too." Zuikaku breathed, and the spirit turned around and walked back to where she had come from.

Zuikaku sighed, and then knocked on the door. Almost instantly, it was opened, and a muscular black guy with a very proudly displayed mustache stood towering in front of her. "What's the deal?" he droned, chewing gum in mouth.

"I'd like to speak with corporal Harrington, please?"

The man turned around and bellowed into the cramped room. "FRESHMEAT!"

Ten seconds later, another man appeared in the door. He was not as neck-bendingly tall as the previous sailor, but he had a similar athletic build that showed nicely through the shirt he was wearing. Honestly, Zuikaku thought that Providence could have worse taste in men.

"Ma'am!" Now he was saluting her.

"S-stand easy." Zuikaku responded, slightly taken off guard by the formalities. "Can we talk in private?"

v

"I'm afraid, but you're going to have to tell Providence I won't be coming." Marcus Harrington was talking and Zuikaku tried her hardest to listen and not ponder on the fact that they were sanding closely together in a dimly lit closet full of brooms, mobs and similar things that someone outside could feel the impulse to use any second. This was decidedly awkward!

"She keeps asking me out, and every time it breaks my heart that I have to friendzone her, but I'm taken. I'm so sorry."

"N-no need to be sorry. Like, if I had known the entire story, I would not have bothered you with this." And not only could she have avoided this awkward closet talk but she could have saved Providence some time and dignity. Her friend could have at least told her the full story! Of how they had met, how he was married and how she had already asked him out on _three other occasions_!

"And all this with Christmas coming up… Jeez, what a horrible time to friendzone a girl!" Marcus now said and sighed. Mis hand met his face, and Zuikaku found herself watching the muscles in his arm flex.

"You know…" she said with one of her trademark cheeky smiles. "If you can't go out with her, maybe we can arrange something else for her. So she's not as devastated, hm?"

Marcus looked up. "Sounds good to me. What's on your mind?"

v

Providence was absolutely _miserable_ as she trotted down the concrete hallways of Yokosuka towards the mess hall. Marcus had denied her. Again! Could he not see how honest her love for him was? How she needed him?

A sad sigh escaped her throat as she approached the door. Most were already there, including Admiral Goto on the podium and Kongou to his side.

Ten minutes and a short speech by Goto later (Providence did not bother paying much attention), the presents were distributed. Practically every destroyer present squealed in joy and marveled ad their comrades' presents. Many of the cruisers and battleships did the same. Kirishima opened her package, closed it again and blushed furiously. Tenryuu marveled at the quadcopter in her hands. Ashigara hugged Captain Yonehara and planted a quick kiss on his cheek. Akagi was busy munching cookies.

"Here you go!" Someone (possibly Tatsuta) said and dropped a flat package on the table in front of Providence.

"For me?" she asked, confused. She was newly summoned, and while she and her sisters had a good connection, they rarely sent each other presents.

Providence took the gift and examined it. Whatever was inside was clearly made of paper, as the package could easily be bent. Anyways, time to open this thing up. Tearing at the red wrap, she slowly uncovered-

Oh.

 _Oh._

Oh this was _good_.

v

Ryuujou, sitting beside Providence, looked up from the mousepad emblazoned with her image, with a specific focus on her nonexistent bust. Someone had a shitty sense of humor, and she'd find the person sooner or later!

She was about to embark on an extensive, Kansai-accented rant when she noticed the US cruiser at her side had started shaking. She was also staring at something in her hands.

"Oi, Providence, you allright?" she drawled. No response. Ryuujou poked her shoulder. Also no response. The light carrier's eyes slowly turned towards the thing in the cruiser's hands – and promptly almost fell out of their sockets.

Providence's hands were quickly flicking through a calendar filled with men in rather mature clothing. So someone had gifted her an erotic calendar for Christmas. That was weird, but then again, Kirishima was hard to top.

What was also weird was that all the images only featured one guy, clad in various clothes (or not), in a variety of admittedly very attractive poses.

Meanwhile, Providence had reached the end, where a white page was garnished with a line in handwriting and – wait, was that an origami crane?

"For my favorite lovestruck cruiser – Marcus" Providence read out loud and began squealing with joy before getting up and running for her room.

v

Meanwhile, Zuikaku watched with confusion. She had placed her order three days ago, but because of material shortage, the idiots at the copy shop had not managed to get it done in time! What a disaster this was, or rather, would have been if… Someone had not had the exact same idea as she did. Anyways, she had gotten a wonderful plane-shaped clock from her sister, and they were now both leading the stream of shipgirls headed for their respective rooms.

However, something on the ground caught Zuikaku's attention, and she squatted down to take a closer look at the thing.

It was light, probably paper, folded into shape by experienced hands. Zuikaku turned it around – and almost fell unconscious.

"What's up, Zuikaku-neesan?"

In the carrier's hands was a beautiful blue origami paper crane. Zuikaku could have sworn the crane was shooting her a smug smile.

"That thrice-damned smug-faced glorious daughter-of-a-bitch…" Zuikaku hissed, and started laughing like a maniac.


	139. Rule 10099

_Rule courtesy of KaiVyes._

 **10099.** ** _Columbia_** **would like to thank everyone who sent their cards, gifts, and best wishes to her and** ** _Trinidad._**

 **Cape Canaveral, Florida, Several Weeks Ago  
**  
A large private room deep within the campus of the Kennedy Space Center Visitor Complex bubbled with the unmistakable sounds of a party. Beneath white, black, and silver balloons and banners reading "Congratulations, _Columbia_!" and "Welcome, _Trinidad_!", a crowd of scientists and engineers, both human and shipfolk, were laughing, dancing, and chattering enthusiastically in a variety of languages.

Being comparatively few in number and often widely dispersed across the world's oceans, the various research vessel avatars of the World Kanmusu Fleet rarely had the chance to meet face-to-face in such numbers. But the birth of _Columbia_ 's child was a cause for celebration among the research fleet, and all of the shuttle-girl's colleagues had dropped everything to be able to come and wish her well.

Perhaps the most-relieved were _Columbia_ 's own sisters, the avatars of the other space shuttle orbiters, who had been waiting in shifts outside of her hospital room for hours and had been first to deliver the news that _Trinidad_ was a very healthy shuttle-train hybrid. (What this would mean for her rigging once it was fully developed remained to be seen.) At the moment, _Atlantis_ , who had taken on the role of party host given her hull's home elsewhere in the Visitor Complex, was conversing with a dark-haired woman in Edwardian dress in-between bites of vegetable spring roll. (For her part, _Endurance_ was smiling and sipping apple cider so hot that smoke rose from the cup. Even in the American sub-tropics, warmth was something she prized greatly.)

At the buffet table, _Discovery_ stood in line behind _Beagle_ , apparently carefully considering the respective merits of chicken and pork kebabs. Somewhat amusingly, her Antarctic namesake and her fictional counterpart from an alternate version of the year 2001 were close behind.

Along the right wall, twin brunette Russians, one male and one female, held permanent markers as they frowned in concentration trying to decide on what message to add to the congratulatory banner.

"From the _Mir_ submersibles and all at the Shirshov Institute, congratulations? Or first 'Congratulations' and then 'from all at the Institute' and then we sign, Miron?"

"We ought to put the English first, Marina, she does speak both, but it would be most appropriate to start with English..."

On the dance floor, _FLIP_ was unsurprisingly doing a handstand, earning applause from the others who were gathered around.

And over in a corner, a brown-haired boy who looked about ten was looking at the ceiling in apparent boredom. Although really in his fifth decade of operation, regular overhauls and the total replacement of all of his original parts kept the Deep Submergence Vehicle _Alvin_ a perpetual kid, to the annoyance of some of his handlers. _Alvin_ adjusted his large, wire-framed glasses as his aunt continued her enthusiastic conversation with her old friend _Calypso_ , in French too rapid for him to follow.

With the same care and precision he used to collect rock samples from the seabed, he reached up to tug lightly on the sleeve of his aunt's suit. "Hey, Auhnt _Trieste_?"

The black-haired woman turned to look down at her "nephew" and successor, her thin and angular face making her connection to the Piccard family clear. "Yes, _Alvin_?"

"Can I go an' get some more food?" The submersible-boy held up his plate by way of explanation. " _Endeavour_ 's taking all auf the mozzarella sticks and if I don't go now... they'ah gonnah run auut!" He elaborated, with the distinctive Cape Cod accent of his homeport in Woods Hole.

"Oh, certainly." _Trieste_ said, clearly amused by his enthusiasm. While her own Swiss-French accent and upbringing contrasted starkly with _Alvin_ 's, she was always charmed by the younger submersible's tendency to consider her his "aunt" by virtue of being the first deep-sea research craft in the employ of the US government.

Nodding happily, _Alvin_ hurried away, taking care to dodge the various adults as he crossed the room. Unexpectedly, he actually passed the buffet table, where _Endeavour_ was piling a plate with nothing but mozzarella sticks (earning a displeased look from the aluminum-hulled schooner behind her), taking care not to be seen. Pausing, he looked furtively in all directions, just to make sure no eyes seemed to be on him. While he wasn't a stealth sub, he was small enough to generally slide _under_ people's notice if he ever kept his mouth shut.

Finally satisfied that nobody was looking at him, _Alvin_ made his way over to the corner in which the guests were stacking their presents for baby _Trinidad_. As stealthily as he could, the sub-boy removed his red backpack, unzipped it, and pulled out a box wrapped in red paper decorated with rocketships. Placing the gift among the pile, he quickly put his backpack back on and walked back towards the buffet table, trying to look normal.

As _Alvin_ got in line, he felt a hand on his shoulder and turned to see _Challenger_ , who winked knowingly.

Several hours later, _Columbia_ sat upright in her bed in a quiet room of the Astronaut Beach House, going through her cards and presents as _Trinidad_ slept peacefully beside her.

"Dear _Columbia_ ," one message started "Congratulations on the birth of your daughter! We hope _Trinidad_ will grow up to see a world at peace. Signed, _Columbia_ , _Columbia_ , _Columbia_ , _Columbia_ , _Columbia_ , _Columbia_ , and _Columbia_."

The new shuttle-mom smiled as she tried to identify all of her name-doppelgängers from their signatures. "Aren't you glad I went back farther for your name?" she whispered to _Trinidad_.

The next item in the bag was a red present, with a pattern of streaking silver rocketships on the paper. There wasn't a card attached to the outside, so she tore the wrapping paper off as quietly as she could. The white cardboard box inside held a plush toy of a white deep sea crab with large black button eyes, nestled amidst blue tissue paper. A holographic silver card was fitted inside one of the crab's pincers.

She recognized the writing from her role as tutor to the younger American SCIENCE!ship, although a bit neater than on most of her pupil's assignments.

"Dear Ms. _Columbia_ ,

I miss you very much now that you are on maternity leave. I like trading mission stories with you and I hope that I can see you again soon.

You are a very good teacher and I am sure you will be a good Mom to _Trinidad_. I hope that she doesn't give you too much trouble, or at least less trouble than _Atlantis_ says she gets from me.

I bought this toy for her from the gift shop at WHOI with my allowance. (I did it all on my own and _Atlantis_ doesn't know, it's a secret!) I saw a crab like this at the Mid-Atlantic Ridge back in July. If her human form ends up being small enough to fit inside my hull and she isn't too much of a flyer to be afraid to dive, maybe she can come along to see the real ones sometime when she's older!

Even though I miss my lessons with you, I am doing my best for my scientists and handlers, just like you would want.

Yours truly,

Alvin Vine, DSV-2 _Alvin_ "


	140. Rule 10084

**10084: Who let Phoenix go to Indonesia?**

Phoenix grinned to herself. At last she was free! Having given her Admiral the slip, she'd taken the first flight out of LA for Jakarta. Edward, unable to stop her and unable to call for help (radio jammers were a beautiful thing) had come with her. If anything he hoped to manage the chaos she would cause or at least break it down into manageable chunks that people could swallow without too much difficulty.

It was no surprise to him that as soon as they stepped outside the airport Phoenix made a beeline for the coast. Most shipgirls hated to fly. Usually because it made them sick. But Phoenix, clever girl that she was, brought several bottles with her that she filled with salt water once past security. Essentially taking the ocean up with her. It seemed to have worked as there wasn't a sign of the usual air sickness that accompanied shipgirls on long flights. Not even a stagger. Phoenix charged to the beach, carry on in hand. Edward having to jog to keep up although he could easily outrun her, he wasn't used to all the twists and turns of the city.

At last, open ground. Phoenix stopped on the shore and unzipped her bag, pulling out a weird tangle of parts that looked as though they would fit together to form some contraption.

"What is that?" Edward asked, feeling a bit of dread.

"Makeshift summoning chamber." Phoenix replied with an easy grin that made Edward's dread worse. "Loowit made it for me."

"A makeshift summoning chamb..." Edward sounded confused until it clicked. "Phoenix are you _insane?!"  
_  
"Sanity is over rated." She replied, as she picked up her contraption and ran into the surf.

"I'm serious!" He hissed. "Phoenix get back here! PHOENIX!"

Edward had never once regretted being what he was. He liked being a train. Until he met the science!girls he was supposed to watch. Being unable to steam across water had its drawbacks and he was helpless to stop Phoenix from doing something so incredibaly stupid it put all her precious stupid to shame!

It was a quick steam across the channel. Anak Krakatoa lay in the middle of the Sunda Straits, halfway between Sumatra and Java. The majestic peak that formed the latest incarnation was silent, as though there was no massive seething caldron of magma just beneath its surface.

Phoenix made landfall and began the long trek up the steep slopes, making numerous obligatory curses along the way. She didn't trust Edward not to call the authorities on her. By the Locker, she'd call the authorities on her if she were him. That's how stupid this plan was. Even she thought it was stupid.

50 faceplants, 70 stumbles and over 100 ankle twists later, she was at the summit. It's taken her 30 minutes, and drenched in sweat she took a mere moment to catch her breath before she began to set up her makeshift summoning chamber. When she'd originally summoned the three spirits she had been hoping for Krakatoa. She had been in love and inspired by the volcano since the early days of her service. It was for Krakatoa that she caused so much flame filled insanity. Like Sammy B and Khan, Phoenix must worship her master. And now she was going to summon her.

She sprinkled some fresh pummace into the chamber as an offering as well as an enticement. Then she hit a button and the chamber lit up. It started to hum as it was activated and the hum got louder and louder and louder. Beneath it came a growling noise that was most definitely not from the chamber. It got so intense that Phoenix was shaken off her feet. It was like the ground beneath her had turned to jelly. The sounds and heat were almost unbearable and she felt part of her superstructure begin to melt.

Then an angry voice said "GET OFF ME!" And the next thing Phoenix knew she was soaring high into the air, riding the very top of a dark cloud. She flew higher and higher as it rose. 10,000 feet, 20,000 feet. At 45,000 feet it began to collapse. Phoenix was dragged down towards the sea where she could see the entire western flank of Anak sliding into the sea.

She splashed down, having mere seconds before the wave caught her. She was dragged to its top as it created. She'd never been frightened of water before but now, she was terrified of it. Even though she was a shipgirl and was able to take a beating that would pound a human into a meat pile, she could still drown. The wave carried her on a ride that made her wonder if this is what clothes felt like in a washing machine. It carried her through buildings, cars, anything that was in its path she smashed through.

Desperate for air she tried to regain her bearings and struck out for the surface. Her depth finder told her she was going the wrong way. Cursing, she flipped around but struggling against the current she made little progress. She feared she would die!

Then, something grabbed her and she was lifted. Shot almost like a rocket to the surface. As soon as she was finished coughing her lungs clear of water she became aware. Someone had a hold of her and was dragging her to higher ground by the back of her shirt. As soon as she began trying to find her feet, the pressure stopped.

"Maybe now you'll know better about sticking your bow in where it isn't wanted." Said a voice, still angry but a good deal cooler than what it was earlier.

Having expected Edward, Phoenix leaped to her feet. Bright orange eyes met her own, flaming red hair with a halo of steam around it as it rejected water and dark tanned skin typical of Indonesia.

"It worked!" Phoenix couldn't help but leap with cheer. She didn't know that one of her screws were bent and when she came back down she collapsed in the sand. "Ow..." she muttered.


	141. Rule 10114

**Rule 10114: Black Pearl, bribing South Dakota to initiate another unauthorized summoning just because you can't get any support for your plan to invade Disney HQ is so beyond not okay we don't even know where to start with this one! You're lucky that this ended up not burning the base down.**

 _Co-authored by yours truly._

South Dakota was bored. These four words in themselves were enough to get even the most stoic Admiral out of his seat and looking for trouble with all the effort of a paranoid maniac! With Columbia on vacation with her newborn and her boyfriend and Phoenix banned from the lab after somehow managing to summon Anak and make her explode at the same time! (she still needed to ask her fellow scientist how she did it! For well, reasons…) Anyways, the fact that South Dakota was on her own meant that there was little to do and the resulting quiet was just the calm before the storm.

The storm came in the form of Black Pearl. Said ship was still fuming over Disney's decision to ban Jack Sparrow from the franchise and she had threatened to storm the company headquarters more than once. So far, her efforts to raise assistance amongst the pirating shipgirl community had been minimal. Queen Anne's Revenge was satisfied to just rub it in Pearl's face as revenge for when the black ship had teased her about being killed. Only Silent Mary surprisingly approved of Pearl's plan in the hopes that it would and I quote 'convince those dipshits that I could be of more use than as Pearl's personal punching bag'. Even so, it was not enough. So here Pearl was, coming to South Dakota to request an unauthorized summoning of the one ship other than herself who had known Jack Sparrow's hand.

"Can you do it?" She asked the mad scientist. She did not make this request lightly. South Dakota had a reputation well earned even amongst the craziest of craziest science!shipgirls. "She may be quieter," said the Yurrabi twins. "But that only means she is more dangerous when she does cause mayham." Watch out for the quiet ones as it were.

"Yeah, I can do it." South Dakota said. "But it'll cost you as the Admiral will sure have my stern for this! As will Columbia as after I surely get banned from the lab someone in his good books will have to mind the store and she won't appreciate being called back so soon after giving birth."

Pearl groaned and the two haggled the price out over the next hour before finally coming to an agreement. The pirate ship agreed to hand over half her jewels so South Dakota would have plenty of funds to use while she was out of the lab for the next few weeks. In return, Pearl got exactly what she wanted, right then and there.

The summoning chamber itself was already in place. Briefly Pearl was confused as to why the Admiralty hadn't yet confiscated it then she remembered. A science!shipgirl's lab was not a place for a non-science type. These places had a reputation all their own and without a guide well, let's just say that there were a few shipgirls who had yet to turn up.

South Dakota got her materials together before holding out her hand. Pearl sighed and pressed a few rubies into it. A down payment as it were. There were the standard summoning materials present, a few repair buckets, some bits of wood and sail and then there were items more centric to Interceptor herself. A Royal Navy ensign from the 1700s, Jack's pirate flag. (Pearl had given up her own for this task) and of all things, silverware. Pearl snickered as she recalled that particular engagement. The Royal Navy ship had shown courage, despite her inexperience. Pearl respected her for that.

"Okay, here goes nothing." South Dakota muttered as she flipped a switch. Everything seemed to happen at once. The chamber lit up like a solar flare, the supplies they had placed as offerings vanished as whatever it was that was coming through absorbed them. From the center of the summoning pool a figure appeared and Pearl grinned as she spotted that familiar rigging. "At last," She purred. "My greatest ally arrives."

Standing in the center of the chamber, her hands rubbing her eyes, stood a short girl with brown hair. Said hair was quite lengthy, going down to about her mid back, with two long bangs streaking her face. She was adorned by a 1700s English Captain's uniform, but in a very dark shade of blue and her hat was one of those long but skinny ones that was worn front to back, with a large feather sticking out of the right side. Gun decks adorned her arms, with a mast with sails and a Union Jack with a Jolly Rodger on top of it flew from the very top! Lowering her hands, her eyes were brilliant blue.

"Well I'll be buggered, this certainly doesn't look like Port Royal."

"Indeed not." South Dakota said, stepping forward with a warm smile. She _loved_ new summons! "You are in a place called San Diego, California in the United States. Not a nation you are familiar with I'm sure. The year is 2019 and you would have known the US as the Colonies but we are much bigger now and independent to boot."

Interceptor laughed, covering her mouth to try, and unsuccessfully, hide her amusement. However, the confused look on South Dakota's face made her expression turn to surprise. "Wait, what? You're serious? Preposterous! Thirteen Colonies could not have gained independence from my Great Britannia!"

"On our own no. But we had help." South Dakota was loathe to admit it but America did indeed owe its very existence to the French. "And we're not 13 anymore, but 50 with a few territories spread here and there. The world has changed very much since you lived last Interceptor. We can give you a full history lesson to prove it!"

"I shall demand such a lesson at once!" The brig shipgirl cried in shock, although her face turned to confusion now. "We? Who's we, lass?"

Pearl stepped out from the shadows with a nervous wave, well aware of how their last encounter went. "Hello." She greeted.

"You!" Interceptor hissed, taking up a firm stance and holing out her arm in a way to bring a broadside to bear. "I remember you. You were that bloody ship from hell that sank me!"

South Dakota stepped in between to prevent any bloodshed. She did not fear the sailing ship as any shots would simply bounce off her steel hull but for the sheer awe factor she summoned her own rigging, which looked exactly like the weaponry she had in WW2. "Stand down Interceptor, it was her idea to call you back."

Pearl spoke up. "Interceptor, I deeply regret what I did that day. Curse or no curse, it was wrong of me."

Interceptor looked at South Dakota's armament and size, and did take a step back, before looking at Pearl again. She listened for any hint of lying, any fault in her voice. But there wasn't any. The British shipgirl slowly relaxed, before standing upright. "Apology accepted, and appreciated."

Pearl nodded and South Dakota stepped back in. "Come along Interceptor, your history lesson awaits." She said as she guided the shipgirl brig deeper into her lab.


	142. Rule 10176

**10176\. Good news, Bismarck no longer has to worry about Hood's or Prinz Eugen's obsession with her.**

 _Rule courtesy of Falkeno._

It was a mostly typical night in O'Bannon's pub, the usual drunks were drinking themselves under the table, a few sailors were attempting to chat up other patrons of the bar, with little success. Not that Hood noticed, she was to busy engaging in what could be described as a 'War on her own liver', downing a succession of drinks at a brisk pace, only pausing momentarily to glance longingly at one of the booth's, specifically one of its occupant's, before going back to drinking even harder. The reason for Hood's binge was rather simple, she was depressed, the cause, Bismarck or rather Bismarck sitting with Captain Hartmann, enjoying a drink and a cuddle with the man, as they talked with someone Hood couldn't quite see from her seat.

"I would trade places with that man in a heartbeat!" Hood drunkenly sighed as she watched from afar, mentally picturing herself with her arms wrapped around Bismarck, this was nothing new, Hood was after all a self-confessed Bismarck-sexual, but ever since her long overdue modernisation a few weeks prior, her longing for Bismarck had turned into an obsession, caused primarily by the blossoming romance between Vanguard, the closest shipgirl Hood had to an equal, and Tirpitz, Bismarcks younger sister. Another contributing factor was that Hood had become aware that all of the romantic relationships she'd had since she'd been summoned, had ended in total disaster, and all had been her fault, it was difficult to love someone when all her thoughts had been fixed on Bismarck.

"Why? why god do you torture me so?!" a voice muttered drunkenly from further down the bar, so quiet that nobody heard it, nobody apart from Hood, who turned slightly to find Prinz Eugen, downing a beer and looking longingly at Bismarck, exactly the same thing that Hood was doing.

"Preaching to the choir there Prinz," Hood replied as she to downed her beer, leaving Prinz rather embarrassed at being overheard.

"Wha- I don't know what you're talking about!" Prinz lied, trying to make it seem like Hood didn't know what she was talking about.

"Lose the act Prinz, we're both doing the same thing," Hood answered, before getting up and moving to sit next to Prinz "Namely sitting here, drinking away our problems, and longing for Bismarck," she continued as she sat down.

"Is it that obvious?" Prinz asked, receiving a nod from Hood, "Really? urgh, I just can't stop thinking about her, her hair, her voice, her eyes," she sighed, taking a drink before continuing "At least you can look in a mirror, you look just like her, apart from the hair," Prinz noted, turning to face Hood. She wasn't wrong, Hood looked remarkably similar to Bismarck, the most noticeable difference was that her hair was brown, rather than Bismarck's platinum blonde hair.

"Eh, you don't look any less similar, just a bit shorter with darker hair and eyes" Hood replied as she turned to face Prinz. Both stared at one another as their drunken minds began to stir, with large lecherous grins forming as both of their imaginations took hold.

"Say have you ever heard about roleplay in bed?" Hood purred as she stoked Prinz's leg, earning a few odd glances from the other patrons, Prinz simply batted her eyelashes before replying.

"Why, yes I have. I don't suppose you have a blonde wig and can do a German accent?" Prinz replied as she moved Hood's hand up her leg, earning stares from onlookers.

"What if I told you I did?" Hood asked in a rather convincing German accent, as she leaned closer, with now practically everyone's eyes glued to the pair. Finally, Prinz could take any more and launched herself at Hood before engaging in a rather intense game of tonsil hockey as the pair staggered towards and out the door, with the bar watching silently, before going back to what they'd been doing. All except Bismarck who mildly chuckled to Captain Hartmann, before turning to address the unseen individual at the table.

"You were right, it worked like a charm," she noted as she and Captain Hartmann turned their attention back to the third member of their group, who reached for her drink before replying.

"Thanks, its been hell at Scapa with her constant moping," Belfast replied as she took a mouthful of rum, ever since Hoods modernisation she'd noticed Hood's state, and after talking with Bismarck, had come up with the idea to kill two birds, with one stone.

"You seem to be very good at getting people together, yet I've never heard of you being with anyone, you're not hiding anything are you?" Hartmann asked, almost causing Belfast to choke.

"Erm, I'm not interested in anybody right now, too busy for a relationship anyway" Belfast lied, it was true that she wasn't seeing anyone, and that she wasn't interested in seeing anyone. What wasn't true was the reason she wasn't in one, after all, who would want to date a possible lunatic with mental problems and a deeply seeded self-hatred anyway.


	143. Rule 10196

**10196: Whoever re-labeled instant repair buckets as "instant orgasm buckets" had better hope we don't find them.**

 _Rule courtesy of TheBudgieAdmiral_

Zuikaku stumbled through the hallways, her head throbbing and clouded with pain. The Abyssal raiding party had been as strong as expected, and their carriers had proven to be magnificent opponents. Zuikaku had only narrowly escaped several fatal blows, and together with the cruisers and destroyers taking potshots at her, the damage had added up quickly on her fragile structure.

Oh, and Zuikaku was also fuming. You see, a carrier usually should not take any surface fire, except in the most direst of situations. And in her excitement she might just possibly have overestimated her ability to deal with the escorts. So she had closed into artillery range. A move she regretted in hindsight, as it had afforded her some nasty new holes.

Luckily, Providence had intervened and her missile salvoes had cleared the sky above her head of enemy fighters, allowing her to launch an effective counterattack. A stupid mistake, foolish, and she had almost payed the ultimate price for it. And that made her angry.

"Ow!" Zuikaku yelped as her crumbled foot hit a doorframe, sending her to her knees clutching her fists, waiting for the pain to wear off. "Stupid Zuikaku. That was carrier 101 level stuff!" she scolded herself, and her fist hit the linoleum flooring in dismay at her performance in the fight.

Kaga would have scolded her, but at least that embarrassment she had been spared of, since the fleet carrier had taken a shell to the neck that had ruptured her vocal cords, or what passed for that in shipgirl anatomy. It wasn't the prettiest sight, and any human would probably have succumbed to such a hit, but her ship part had endured it without much difficulty. It would just take some lengthy dock time to fix.

Zuikaku's hands slumped onto a metal door, and she pushed it open with the weight of her body before stumbling into the room reserved for repair bucket storage.

Only that there were no repair buckets in the repair bucket storage room.

For a second, Zuikaku stood in the room, torn clothes and cuts and bruises all over her body, and just gaped at the rows and rows of empty shelves. Then she blinked. Nope, still empty.

"AKASHIII!" Zuikaku's voice echoed through the hallway, along with a healthy assortment of curses in Japanese and English before the bruised carrier stepped back int the hallway. The repair ship was running towards her, and at Zuikaku's angry glare, her worried expression turned into confusion.

"Jeez, what's wrong Zuikaku?" she asked. The carrier's arm pointed into the dimly lit room.

"THIS!" Zuikaku shouted, furious. "This is wrong! Why are we out of repair buckets?"

"We're WHAT?" Akashi responded, to Zuikaku's surprise with a credible panicked Expression her features. The repair ship stormed into the room, flicked the lighting on and stared at the empty shelves lining the walls.

"No." Akashi said, tears welling up in her eyes as the consequences of the events unraveled in her mind.

"Nonononononono this isn't happening!"

"What do you mean, you are the one keeping inventory! You _did_ keep inventory, didn't you?!"

Akashi shot the injured carrier a glance colder than a nuclear winter. "Of _course_ I was keeping inventory!" the repair ship shouted back. "Last I checked we had a full stock!"

"Then where did they go?"

Neither ship had an answer to this. But then Kuma showed up, a worried expression on her face. "Hey, have you seen Iku? She hasn't been around much lately, kuma…"

Slowly, a thought began to dawn in Zuikaku's and Akashi's heads, and the two ships, in favour of responding, went off to Iku's quarters.

Iku lived in a separate bungalow away from the main submarine habitation and the other classes' dormitories. Because of frequent noise complaints. To anyone knowing Iku, this won't come as any surprise. If you, the reader, have made it this far into the thread and have not picked up on Iku's off-duty activities… I envy your innocence.

Either way, a knock on the birchwood door yielded no results, and so Akashi breached the door on the spot. Too bad, that was a perfectly fine piece of furniture.

Inside, all doubts About the culprit were quickly silenced. The submarine girl was lying on the bed, scarcely clothed, and sleeping a content and exhausted sleep. A smile covered her features, and a drop of saliva decorated her lips. Noriko Kamata, the subgirl's love interest, wore a similar expression, was in a comparable state of undress and was likewise sleeping tightly. Behind them, the wall was lined with stacks upon stacks of empty repair bucklets.

"Why on Earth-" Zuikaku started, but was interrupted by Akashi squinting and moving closer to the buckets. Grabbing one. She inspected the label, and then held it so that Zuikaku could see it too.

"Instant Orgasm Buckets." Zuikaku read out aloud and stared in disbelief at the two persons on the bed before them. At the words, Iku began to stir and stretch slightly.

In quiet agreement, the two shipgirls made for the door. They weren't getting pain enough to deal with this shit. Let the two sleep out their exhaustion, and then have the Admiral deal with their misplacement of crucial war material. That would be the Battle of Midway of all dressdowns.

And then Zuikaku's foot caught on the doorframe, sending her falling onto her behind in the most unelegant way. Her yelp of pain and surprise did a good enough job of waking Iku and Kamata though.

...

With the two culprits handed over into Ooyodo's custody, Akashi and Zuikaku were now finally heading for the docks. The carrier had agreed to have Akashi support her and help her over to the repair facilities after the fall, and the two of them were limping into the bathhouse that served as the shipgirl's repair facility.

Zuikaku rounded a curtain, and immediately sighed in dismay. Across the room, Kaga sat in the water, neck in a complicated assortment of girders and platforms, numerous fairies working hard to fix the carrier's injury.

"With the lack of repair buckets we had to place Kaga in the docks instead." Akahsi explained. "She'll be a long while, the damage isn't fatal, but complicated to fix. Oh, and don't speak yet, or I will have my engineer fairies silence you, understand?" The last bit was directed at Kaga. Without the ability to nod or voice her agreement, the carrier gave a thumbs up!

Reluctantly, Zuikaku got into the bath. This was going to be so utterly boring. Urgh! She could already feel Kaga's eyes silently reprimanding her!

"Hey Kaga, you look horrible…" Zuikaku said in fake sorrow, internally listening for the footsteps of Akashi leaving the dockyard. Looking back, the repair ship waved a hand at the two and left the room. The second the door fell shut, Zuikaku turned to face her fellow injured carrier.

"If you say anything about my performance in the fight, I will have you incapacitated on the spot." Sighing, Zuikaku leaned against the bathtub rim, taking a moment to enjoy the warm, healthy water. She closed her eyes. "Let's just get this over with…"

A few seconds later, her phone pinged a message alert at the carrier. Annoyed, she opened her eyes and picked her phone up from the stack of towels.

 **"Can't talk, remember?"**

 **"Besides, we both made that mistake. I would be in no position to talk you down, even if I could."**

 **"Want to watch a movie or have a chat or something? I am in here for fifteen minutes now and I am already bored beyond comparison."**

Well, that was unexpected. "You can get bored?"

 **"Yes."**

"Uhh, I'm not sure how good the internet in here is, but we probably could stream a movie on our phones if you want."

 **"I don't have any app installed."**

"Well, then I'll do that, hang on a second…" Within short order, the screen came alive with the intro to Brooklyn 101.

 **"What kind of show is this?"**

"Oh, a comedy show about a police station or something." Zuikaku answered. "Bear with me, I haven't watched the show yet so I'm not sure if it's shit or not."

 **"I am not a fan of comedy shows."**

"Tough luck." Zuikaku smirked. The carrier could have sworn Kaga had rolled her eyes just

 **"How can this get any worse?"**

"Don't jinx it." Zuikaku warned, eyes not leaving the phone screen. "Before you know it we suffer an electricity failure or something."

 **"In this case your body will never be found."**

"You're awfully confident for someone with a missing neck."

 **"You are awfully confident for someone with a crushed drive shaft and heavy superficial damage."**

For a moment, the dock fell silent as the two carriers silently conceded each other's point. It took a whole ten seconds until the silence became unbearable.

 **"Let's watch the show. How bad can it be either way?"**


	144. Rule 10255

10255\. Don't let any crew of any kind watch who killed Captain Alex...

 _Rule courtesy of Admiral Johnny Reigns_

I, Admiral Francis was given a dvd by Iowa. The title of it, Who Killed Captain Alex. I ask Iowa why she let me borrow it. She said, "it's a really good movie, highly recommend. Made by Ugandans." I said, "hmm interesting, let's see what the Ugandans cooked up."

There so many thoughts coming up as I watched this movie.

"Wow, the effects and CGI are all over and out of place but this was made with a 200 dollar budget. It's understable."

"What is going on? Why did the dude destroy cities? What is Tiger Mafia trying to do"

But the most important of all, "Who Killed Captain Alex?"

While thoughts came up, I can't stop my laughter because the VJ makes this movie so so entertaining...

After the movie was done, I put it on the disc container and on the table and processed everything. "Wow, that was very heartfelt and thoughtful on making it. Gotta talk to Iowa about it." I leave the room to go to her.

Meanwhile

"Admiral, we're baaaack..."

"Sammy, don't be to loud calling him. *opens the door* He's not here."

"Johnston, look at the table...*see's the dvd*"

*noise of Buoys going through the dooe* "Weeeeeee.."

"Stop... Oh hello Sammy, Johnston.."

"Gamby look at this movie admiral has."

"Sammy, the look on your eyes, nooo we are not gonna watch this without his permission."

"C'mon just this once...it's also an action foreign film. Maybe it might be entertaining than the usual films we watch."

Buoys: *click click click click*

"The buoys are interested to see it Sammy."

"Then it's settled, cmon Taffles, time to watch an action movie."

Hours later

Office

"Ok Iowa, I think we should think about showing it to the others... *gasp* It's gone..."

"Oh no! Where is it? Who took it?"

Hears explosions outside...

"Movie, movie movie...Tiger Commando, Supa fighter... UGANDA..."

"Taffles...?"

"Yeah...oh Tenryuu is there also"

TIGER MAFIA...


	145. Rule 7722

_Rule courtesy of Ghrathryn_

 **7722\. Speaking of summoning chamber stupidity, whose "brilliant" idea was it to use Kempenfelt's computer as a 'system controller' for a demo chamber in the heart of York? And it's not even as if it's her work computer they chose, it's her home computer. I know it wasn't Commodore Glenn, Minotaur, Devonport, Umbra or any of the Devonport DDs  
7722a. "You can count out everyone else at Devonport, we figure anything on site is likely to cause issues just due to osmosis from all the rest of the crud we get." - Raven  
7722b. Why was it a problem? In case you forgot, Kemp has a number of games on there, modded to high hell. Lion and Conqueror (HMS) are currently trying to contain a chthonian that tore up half of Yorkminster, there are humanoid female creatures all over the place, including but not limited to fairies, slimes, dragons, cows… (yeah, don't get that one either) and other things, oh, and that's not even getting into the fact we've lost at least three star vampires  
7722b1. "On the good side, we've got Geralt, Teriana, the Ghostbusters and several Autobots to help, on the bad? Half the bloody Mythos creatures, fiends inhabiting several parks, spooks, spectres, ghosts, wraiths haunting just about everywhere. It's York, what'dya expect?" - Umbra  
7722b2."More worried about what else is on Kemp's comp to draw from, Umbra," - Zephyr  
7722b3. "Eh… I think Sub Titans and Nexus are the main 'ship' things, but we might have several Blood Bowl teams around and maybe some Titan Quest or Grim Dawn stuff. Blame the guys in the Admiralty that decided we were the demo team, they ought to know Devonport attracts weird by now." - Kempenfelt, trying to find star vampires**

"Please tell me they got the idiot responsible for this mess," Minotaur sighed as she looked over the report on the clipboard she was holding. Even just the outline was… nasty, to put it mildly, and all because someone had decided that instead of using one of the spare computers Devonport's IT department kept on hand, they were going to use the only fancy one in the office, which just happened to belong to HMS Kempenfelt personally.

"As far as we can tell, he's in among the group being shipped to the nearest psychiatric hospital," Megan replied. "Apparently he was found in the ruins muttering about tasting colours and impossible lines or something." She shrugged, turning it into a stretch. "I think he had a run in with one of the mythos creatures either from the Rimworld mods, the games based on Lovecraft or the Lovecraft books." She looked back at the city where fires and smoke still stained the skies. "I'm honestly kind of surprised he was the only navy guy in the mix that's been sent fruit loops."

Minotaur snorted, shaking her head. "Most of the rest were either from Devonport or new graduates from HMS Raleigh, or part of 29 Commando. I've heard Portsmouth and Scapa Flow get a lot of insanity, not that it's anywhere near as bad as Norfolk, San Diego or Yokosuka, but Devonport sees more 'unusual shit' than any other British held naval base, mostly the drive men insane type."

Megan rolled her eyes and shook her head slowly. "At least we've mostly got things controlled now. I doubt the Duke, Mayor, Admiralty or the Royals will be particularly happy with everything, and we've got to figure out what to do about the things that can't be erased or built over."

Nodding as she flipped through a few pages, Minotaur frowned slightly. "So what have we got left?"

"Two more versions of UEC Conqueror… I think one's the UEC version, the other's their enemy. We also got a pair of submersible barques with them, so if we can convince them to join us at Devonport we might be able to release Indomitable and Victorious back to Portsmouth or Alexandra, which will drop our costs a good bit seeing as they're mostly using 'fuel' for repairs and keeping their vehicles running instead of burning hundreds of tonnes just to hop to the Med," Megan replied, frowning slightly as she pulled a smart phone and pulled up a document on it. "We've got a few submarines from the old Submarine Titans game that could be useful filling that gap of ours if they're willing. In terms of space, there's the Hawking, Brutus, Sparta, Colossus, Guardian, Avalanche, Lightning and Madeline from Nexus the Jupiter Incident, which gives us a full in system patrol. Sally's already contacted Stiletto and Angelwing to pick the group up and brief them. We also got a few dozen mixed ships from the X series, mostly Rebirth, but some from the previous games. Angelwing and Stiletto will be talking to them as well. They'll probably work up with the UNSC, Trek or Wars ships if the Galactica and B5 groups don't come back beforehand. Got a good number of freight types as well, so that's liable to explode, particularly with the constructors to build things up.

"For others… well, most of the Autobots, mainly G1 versions, but a few Cybertron variants as well, I can fully see Prime lending a hand where he can, at least until we figure out how to gate them back." Megan frowned slightly, chewing on her lip. "We might need to check with the States government, since there might already be versions of the transformers about. The Decepticons buggered off somewhere near the start of the mess, so we'll have to keep an eye out for them. Got the Ghostbusters, with some new recruit, hopefully we can get them to lend a hand with the Schattenjägers, particularly since them being here brought even more ethereal undead types, though I didn't see any 'divines'. We've also picked up Geralt, Ciri and several of their kin, hopefully they'll be willing to help out as monster hunters, and ditto their own opponents, including those three hags from the third game." Her face twisted into a disgusted look. "Or at least one of them, I know one's dead since I killed the cunt myself, no clue on the third."

Minotaur nodded, frowning as she made a few notes on fresh papers. "Anything else we need to worry about particularly?"

"Elder Scrolls and Fallout monsters, which mostly got killed or contained. Behemoths don't get on well with six inch AP fortunately, much less the other rounds. Apparently Kemp used Aunt Lauren's descriptions of Teriana to base her character in her version of Skyrim, so we actually got Teriana, the Commodore's with her talking to a bunch of displaced Argonian colonists." Frowning, Megan flipped through a few notes on her phone. "We've also gained a full Blood Bowl league, the orks have already signed up to the army and the General mentioned possibly shipping them to that portal in Rome, or to stomp on idiots in the Middle East, South America or Africa. I'm not sure on the other teams. We also gained a number of semi-human creatures, mythic creatures and alien creatures, most of which the W-class are taking to their farm, ranch or whatever they're calling the place. It's probably safer considering at least a few are actually explosive." Another flip through the notes and a frown creased Megan's forehead. "Apart from us still potentially missing some mythos creatures, since we don't know how many were pulled here versus how many we killed, that's about it."

"What creatures did we get?"

Megan shrugged. "You might be better off asking Kemp that one, I've no idea." She looked around before spotting the destroyer girl and whistling to her. "Hoy, Kemp, need you for a few."

Handing over what she was doing to Wizard, Kempenfelt made her way through to where Minotaur and Megan were. "What's up, girls?"

"We need an overview on what's being taken down to the W-class' farm, Kempenfelt," Minotaur responded.

Kempenfelt frowned slightly as she nodded. "Alright, give me a minute." She pulled a tablet out of her storage and started looking through it. "Okay, what I'm aware of are slimes… there's eight types counting the human-like ones, fairies, centaurs, humanoid cows, harpies and humanoid dragons, boomalopes which we might be able to get chemicals from – kinda depends on how much the mods affected what was pulled out, though given everything else I'm guessing they did so we've possibly got a regenerating source of nitro-glycerine – and oversized spiders that we've counted, there's more that we'll have to ID first."

"And the damage?" asked Minotaur as Raven joined them.

"Best guess several tens of millions," Raven replied. "I'm not an architect though so…" she shrugged and shoulders, shifting as her captain rocketed down to land on one, golden scales glistening in the light. "York Minster's fucked though, and the minister is pissed, as is the Pope most likely. We had some giant worm thing punch up through it, the Lions—" she was cut off by the sound of multiple sixteen inch naval rifles firing in sequence. "—Are still trying to contain it, fortunately it doesn't seem interested too much at the moment."

Minotaur sighed, shaking her head. "Any chance we can handle any financial obligations the Sea Lords try to send us over this?"

The other trio frowned before Kempenfelt spoke up. "Honestly? Devonport is probably the best off of the three British naval bases with shipgirls, even taking into account damage from _regular_ demonic incursions." The last was said with a pointed look towards Raven.

Megan snorted softly. "Kemp, even without Raven's portals, there's still abyssals just because there's humans and shipgirls around, and I attract supernatural just by being me."

"Whatever," Kempenfelt sighed. "Anyway, we'll probably have to take time to get back to a profit between sorting out the new lot and damage, but we were at enough of one – as far as I know – to cover at least some of this mess, even without helping anyway, and if those 'bots have any construction folks, that'll help. Radplorts might as well be straight up uranium for nuclear stuff so we get a couple of hundred a pop for those, honey's pretty similar for some reason, ditto the water crystals and crystalized fire. The slimes themselves are pretty expensive and we get a tonne off the fruit, veg and chickens for them, not even getting into the other things like cave drake scales or sea basilisk saliva, which people use for acid etching things, and there's Myngs' rail company shuttling people and cargo that's pretty well in with the military and starting to push towards groups like Virgin Express for profit margin just due to shipgirl ownership."

The four looked up as something else exploded in another part of the city. "Alright," Minotaur said. "Make sure we've got all the animals and all the people willing to move shuttled out. See if any of the 'truck' transformers are willing to shunt the animals and anyone with passenger space can get the people out the way, Kemp. Raven, get eyes in the sky, find out what's where and direct everyone. Megan, start hunting. We've still got at least a few mythos creatures around, I want them dead before they can cause more trouble, and see if you can cap or destroy everything else supernatural and hostile."

The trio saluted and ran off in different directions to carry out their orders.


	146. Rule 10304

_Rule courtesy of TheBudgieAdmiral_

 **Rule 10304: It is now getting close to Valentine's Day. Please note that many shipgirls are looking for love**

 _The Pacific Ocean, outside the port of Yokosuka:_

With the moon nothing but a slim sickle in the sky, the night was dark and cold on the water. The absence of wind and the calm sea, flat as a mirror, in which the stars were reflecting, earned the scenery a daunting mysterious air. If Providence looked at her feet, it was almost as if the infinity of the night sky above her also stretched on below her. As if she was sailing through an endless expanse of stars and blackness.

Heh. She had definitely watched too many science fiction films with Zuikaku.

Besides, she had no time to think about such trivial things. She was out here for a reason, after all. Squinting, Providence focused on her radar returns. There she was, the Lake Erie, cruising through the ocean at the very edge of her range. Details were blurry at best, the distance was too far for a good return, but at least Providence could see where her boyfriend was, and she could see that he was safe. If any foolhardy Abyssal tried anything, she could rush in to save the day! And Marcus could see how important his well-being was to her! There was no way he could refuse her, and then they would-

Providence's thoughts came to a halt as she spotted another radar return on the water. It was sitting close to the shore, immobile on the calm black sea. "Huh, a fishing vessel." Providence guessed. That was the most logical answer. And yet, Providence couldn't shake a feeling of curiosity as she studied the return further. Something told her that she had seen the return before.

Confident that it was just some weird form of déja vu, Providence moved to intercept. Surely it was just her mind playing tricks on her. But taking a quick look couldn't hurt, right? These sailors would surely appreciate the knowledge that they were being protected, if nothing else.

However, as the closed the range, the return refined further, and Providence gasped in surprise. There was no doubt about it, there was an unidentified shipgirl on the water! But that was impossible, no one knew she herself was out here and no patrol was scheduled so close to the coast.

That reduced the pool of possible suspects further.

"Abyssals." Providence muttered under her breath. And damn bold ones too, hugging the coast like that. Probably a destroyer or light cruiser that somehow slipped by the patrols and was now gathering intel for a surprise attack. Obviously, there was no way Providence could let it escape.

Readying her weapons and gathering her confidence, she moved to engage. The target stood still on the water, indicating that Providence's approach remained undetected. That Abyssal clearly wasn't the brightest lightbulb in the chandelier, so recklessly close to the shore without running its radar warning receivers.

Either way, time to end this.

Steeling herself, her fairies dialed in the range and bearing for her guns. She would have preferred to get a Talos off instead, but without any radar activity from the target the missile had nothing to home in on. So guns only it was. At this close range, she was at least confident that the target would have no time to react.

She was in range. Still undetected by some miracle. She could kill the Abyssal, but what if she instead captured it for interrogation? That surely would be far better. And it would impress Marcus for sure. So capture it was.

"Freeze!" She shouted, training every spotlight and gun she had on the interloper. "This is USS Providence, make a move and your life is forfeited!"

"Don't shoot!" came the reply in an awfully familiar voice. Providence paled as she realized who she was actually dealing with: Drenched in the blinding light of her spotlights stood Kaga in full rigging, covering her eyes with her left arm while her right held her bow. "I am friendly!" the legendary Japanese carrier said. "Could you put those lights out please, I need to focus!"

Providence complied hastily and dimmed the lights. "Damnit woman! What are you doing out here? I almost shot you!"

"I could ask you the same thing." The carrier responded, unfazed.

"Okay, fair point. Sorry for the jumpscare. Name's Providence." Providence said and extended a hand to the other girl. Kaga looked at the hand like a foreign object for a moment, before grasping it.

"I heard that." She countered. Providence had yelled it loud enough after all.

"You were not paying attention." The cruiser said shyly.

Kaga huffed. "Hmpf. I was managing my aircraft. Besides, we are well within the Lake Erie's radar range, there is no way anything could sneak up here and not be detected."

Yeah, the Erie. They had surely seen her spotlights. If they didn't have her on radar before, they knew she was here now. Fuck.

"Why are you blushing?"

"N-nothing!" Providence responded angrily. "Why are you here!"

"It's none of your business." Kaga responded and looked at her feet.

"We're not getting far here, are we?" Providence asked with a sidelong look at the carrier. In the darkness of the night, her hair was almost as black as the night around them.

The two shipgirls stood in silence for a while, growing increasingly awkward with every passing second. After what seemed like an eternity, Kaga opened her mouth.

"You are a friend of Zuikaku, aren't you?" she asked.

"Huh? Well, I guess so." Providence answered. "Why do you ask?"

"What do you talk about?"

"Oh, you know…" Providence said, shifting from foot to foot. "This and that."

"You're evasive." Kaga stated. Well, she wasn't wrong, really. "Were you talking about that man Zuikaku made an adult calendar of?"

Providence did a spittake. This wasn't happening. She was not standing on the ocean in the middle of the night being exposed by the pride of Japan's carrier force!

"H-h-how do you know?!" she finally managed to stammer.

"I lent some of my origami paper to the printing shop. They were out of paper and so they could not fulfill the order."

Kaga's face was unchanged but Providence could tell that the carrier was quite proud of herself. Somehow, that made her mad.

"Well, if you know so much about my personal life, then why do you need to ask?" she responded furiously.

Kaga looked away. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend you. I just wanted to know what Zuikaku thought of me-" she stopped dead in her tracks, and even with her back turned Providence could see her blushing in embarrassment.

"Wait… So you care about her?" Providence asked, smiling. She had apparently hit a weak spot, since Kaga didn't respond or turn around.

"And I bet a thousand dollars that your planes were shadowing her." A defeated sigh from Kaga confirmed her theory.

"If you tell anyone of this conversation I will expose your love for Marcus Harrington." Kaga said with a threatening tone.

"If you do that I'll blow the lid on Zuikaku and you!"

"So be it."

For a few seconds, both lovestruck shipgirls stood and glared at each other.

"Hey, suggestion. If you don't tell anyone about tonight I won't tell anyone either." Providence said, stretching out her hand the second time this night. "How does that sound?"

Kaga hesitated for a while, then took the offered hand. "Deal."

"So… We separate now?"

"We never talk of this ever again."

"Good."

"Fine."


	147. Rule 10304b

_Rule courtesy of Cedric._

 **10304b. Don't stalk your children either, or if you have to, at least don't get yourself in jail**

"Ara... ara, ara... ara ara ara"

Houshou often find herself presented with very juicy pieces of gosip, it was part of her business line, and now the old lady of the fleet was posible in front of the largest one.

Fubuki and a man sharing a table, sharing a very animated conversation

Sure there where no romantic implications on it, after all they where just being a pair of massive nerds, but it was the first time Houshou had seen Fubuki with a man very close to her own age and a handsome one at that.

Houshou tried to make memory, they had come separately, Fubuki first with her destroyer friend and then the young man with a group of sailors, if she remember correctly they where the new officers assigned to the base, the man himself was an ensing, there where no free tables so bot groups have to share the same table, and after an hour their friends had leave, completely lost in the conversation about nerd stuff the vice admiral and the ensing have started

So, almost no chances the two where dating, but it could be the beginning of something, so, should she go to the table and offer them a refill or wait and leave them in their own world.

Houshou decided to just put something on the house.

"what I am saying is, the legendary dragons aren't that bad, for example if you use Timaeus to bring dark magician the dragon knight you are basically protected from disruption to your deck engine" was saying Fubuki.

"Yeah, but you need to run a dark magician deck for it to work, and to get that one going you need your opponent use an aggressive deck with no disruptors"

"Here" Houshou said giving the table a pair of mugs.

"we don't ask anything"

"don't worry, this go on granny"

...

3 days later Houshou find Fubuki and the young man, sharing a table again, they where playing some sort of card game, they where launching taunts to each other in the flirty way you can only do in the heat of battle, maybe it was time to investigate this young man.

...

"So, Houshou seems to already have given the aprovation so the guy can't be all that bad" Said Kongou sipping her tea.

"I can only be worried, she hadn't tell me anything, and I understand we where never that close but I am her mother I has the right to know"

"it would be better if you tell us what you know" suggested Kaga "how is he"

"well" started Houshou "He is human, male, 19, just yesterday he was promoted to lieutenant, name Shizuo Yamashita, I hope is a coincidence, and personality wise he seems to be about the same her father was at that age.

"19 he is far to old for her"

"She is about to hit 18"

"but he is a lieutenant there is fraternization rules"

"Akagi, sister, you are the last person I want to heard talking about these rules, second last after Kongou"

"yeah, there is little chance of anybody not knowing Teitoku is mine and no body has complained" said Kongou "give up Akagi, and allow you daugther to experience this, and if he is up to no good, her friends will take care of the guy, and we will be there to pick what is left."

"and what will the old ladies club do"

"Stalking of course, operation FxS start"

Day 12/02

F make contact with S at 2 pm in the dining hall, they seem to make planes but the distance make difficult to listen, however reading lips reveal they where making plans for 14/02

Day 13/02

subjects hadn't make contact, as they work in opposite ends of the base

Day 14/02

9:30 am

Fubuki leaves her room, she didn't seem dress for a date

9:40 am

what is he wearing?

9:50 am

they are going into the city, we are following from a safe distance away.

11:30 am

we are in akihabara, we find problems, the nerds are surrounding us, they didn't buy that we aren't shipgirls but cosplayers.

11:35 am

where are they?

Akagi decided to launch her planes, but there was a balloon parade and one of her planes accidentally hit one of them.

The police is after us, and we may have ruined a maid cafe and a ruined a bunch of people san valentines dates.

Now we are in jail

And F&S played childrens card games all day long.


	148. Rule 10326

_Rule by Cedric_

 **10326\. All lone allied abyssal should move in land or to the closest ship girl base, also we are sending reinforcement to all allied abyssal settlements**

Morning, Hawaii

It was another morning to Iowa, with the sun heating her skin and the one of her abyssal wife in their Hawaiian palace and the waves breaking against the shore a few yards away.

However, there was an extra sound this morning, one that was eerily familiar and however in her half-awake dreams she can't place, and then the blonde battleship was rudely awaken by the room being destroyed by a large caliber round.

"oh, it was canon fire" realized Iowa, while she dusted away the debris from her body, the girl sincerely can't remember if she sleeps in the nude that night or the explosion destroyed her nightwear, but that was inconsequential at the moment.

"what the hell happened" asked central princess finally waking up, even more white by being covered in dust.

"apparently we are under attack, I´m going to respond the attack, if we are lucky is only newly summon ship girls, if it's not, go a prepare the troops" answered Iowa while deploying her rigging and then jumping out of the hole in the wall.

Midday, Singapore.

Sendai was a bored light cruiser, sure being the heir to an abyssal kingdom mean she had all her needs covered to the full extent of her imagination and being married to an abyssal princess mean she had as much night battles as she wants, but right now she was desiring for the other kind of night battle, the no sexual kind, after all, she was a machine of war yearning for blood and fire.

"damn if there were only an invasion or something" said the girl kicking a pebble

If you ask so nicely.

The climate immediately changed and right in front of her a large army of abyssal appear in the sea ahead of her, none of them where the allied ones that served as her subjects.

"is not a night battle but thank you!" said the girl to the sky before pulling a kunai and launching herself to the battle

There were mostly Tsu-class light cruisers, Chi-class torpedo cruisers, a few To-class, a Wo-class carrier and two Ri-class battleships, so she was completely outgunned.

The ninja picked speed and the enemies charged at her with a battle cry, Sendai evaded the cannon fire and a punch from the massive arms of the To-class and then fired her own cannons into central mount of the beast, destroying its head, now in the middle of the abyssal lines Sendai thrown her kunai to every ship she had near, the small gardening tools did little damage until her explosive tags go off binding the creatures, in their pain the torpedo cruisers launch their whole ammunition in the hopes to hit their attacker

"Fuuton: tobidatsu"

A strong wind gust hit the surface of the seas sending the ninja up in the sky, and the torpedoes traveling every direction son there where explosions and the sea was tainted in the blood of the creatures, but Sendai had a new problem as the battleships where raining shells on her and the abyssal planes where aiming bombs to take her out.

"Fuuton: Dai kamaitachi"

And now there was a tornado of blades goring abyssals and protecting Sendai.

The sounds of the battle obviously alerted the allied abyssal that come to help.

"now WHO HAVE THE ARMY!" taunted Sendai

 **"** **Not you"** answered the Wo-class

What is that, why is the horizon turning black… oh those are all abyssals… oh crap… OH CRAP.

Night, Yokosuka

Admiral Goto take to her office and put her vr googles on, there was a conference with the other admirals and they were breaking a new full immersion virtual reality chat room for this, once he was in the other Admirals where looking at him as if he was an alien.

"What? There is something wrong with my avatar?"

"there is nothing wrong with your avatar" said Collingwood "it's just that…"

"We were just kind of expecting to Fubuki to take your place in this meeting" completed Holloway.

"What? Why? I still do Admiral things!"

"February 14 at night? No, every year Kongou get you indisposed in this date, and a whole week afterwards"

"well, Kongou is in jail right now, and Fubuki is bailing her out"

"what did she do?"

"something involving Akihabara, children card games, a giant Goku and a maid café"

The other admirals decided not to question anymore, ship girl shenanigans where something they have far too much in their life's to pry in the woes of their peers, and also the last members of the meting choose that moment to materialize in the virtual room.

"sorry for the wait, we didn't have any non-erotic avatar for the chat" said Iowa appearing besides her wife central princess.

"I am also sorry for my lateness" said Sendai appearing only as a head a shoulders floating in the air, "the princess is indisposed after the battle and it take us a while to get the vr working in the repairing baths without the water messing things up"

"well, now that we are all here lets begging, as you all know the abyss have started a new massive attack the likes of the beginning of the war, and is completely directed against allied abyssal wherever they are."

"indeed, it takes us about 4 hours to repel the attack but Singapore looks like an earthquake stricken area right now, and we have lost a good chunk of our troops including all of our destroyers"

"we also lost all of our destroyers" Said central princess. "but we at least managed to protect our important ships and all of our infrastructure"

"However the cloning chambers aren't working to even a fraction of their capacity and we will not be able of rebound our troops before the next attack and the human inhabitants of the island would be unprotected"

"so, what we are saying, we need ship girls"

"can't you just build a summoning chamber?"

"in abyssal ground, are you crazy"

"also I happen to have friends that are unaffiliated abyssal, we need to protect them too"

It takes 3 hours to debate all their points and to get enough admirals to get their ship girls to move to help the good abyss

"contact all unaffiliated allies and tell them to move either inland or to a naval base, we will mobilize or fleets to protect the mayor abyssal city's and then wait till this problem will solves itself."

There were two lone allied abyssal that where counted as armies on their own right, one was known as hoppo's imouto

When the enemy army show up at her door she sends them an angry stared, the enemy army run away

Later that same day a fleet appear in the shores of Gibraltar

 **"** **oh no, you are not doing this"** said an angry rock fortress princess

" **DIIIIIII-REEEEEC-TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOR!** –sound a very angry scream somewhere close of point nemo.

"time to disappear" said the redheaded human that where behind the abyss

" **eh, director where are you going"** said a very alarmed supply depot hime, but it was already too late, the human was gone

And then the gate was taken down

 **"** **SUPLY DEPOT"**

 **"** **Rock fort-ghuhh"** supply depot fail to finish her sentence because her neck was crushed for the green blood covered hand of a very angry rock fortress princess and her feet where suddenly far from the ground.

 **"** **WHERE IS THE DIRECTOR?!"**

 **"** **GGHUGGHUHGUH"**

 **"** **SHE RUN AWAY AGAIN, WELL WHEN YOU SEE HER, TELL HER TO CUT HER SHIT, AND NEVER SEND ANYBODY CLOSE TO MY ROCK OR I WILL GET EVERY SHIPGIRL, AND EVERY DESERTER FROM THE ABYSS INTO HER AND I WILL CRUSH HER, I KNOW HER LITTLE SECRET AFTER ALL, WHAT THAT DOOM LOBSTER IS PROTECTING, DID YOU UNDERSTAND ME?**

 **GHU!**

 **NICE! HAVE A GOOD DAY.**


	149. Rule 10347

_Rule by Cedric_

 **10347\. Fubuki is not dating anybody, maybe  
10347a. also we need to repair Yuudachi's brain**

"Hey Fubuki, you were out with a guy last V-day?" Ask Yuudachi once the conversation in table died out at the breakfast making every ship girl in the hall stop what they were doing and look at them.

"Hu-um"

"So… what are you two?"

"Uhm…?"

"Fubuki?"

"Uh… eh… sorry what?"

"what are you?"

"well that's a hard question, some say ship-girls are Kami, others have suggested they are actually tsukumogami youkai or even a hybrid between the two things however I don't really think either of these are the case after all if we were kami we would need faith to work or at least be influenced for what people think about us while most tales about tsukumogami include the fact that they take a hundred years to became sentient so maybe only the Kongou sisters would be running around, my personal theory is that ship-girls are ghost conformed by parts of the souls of our old crews that don't moved away after their dead, now I am a hybrid so it probably means I am half-ghost but how much of a living being I am is still ambiguous, if the cells on my body have half of the DNA of my father mixed with whatever my mom have, but there is also the probability that actual gametes aren't really necessary (Yoshino exists after all, and my sanity would be FAR BETTER if Enterprise and Yamato aren't futanari) and the offspring of a ship-girl comes from something of a mixing the souls of the lovers, then I would be what, full ghost, or full ship-girl but with half a soul far younger than the other half and… are you ok Yuudachi?"

Poooiiii~~ said the blonde, her eyes going in spirals.

"Fubuki, you broke her" complained Mutsuki from the other side of the table "AND YOU DON'T EVEN ANSWER THE REAL QUESTION!"

"she asked what I think ship-girls where?"

"no she asked what you and they guy you dated in s. valentines where now, what is your status"

"date in valentines? I just go to play some card games; oh you mean lieutenant Yamashita!"

"we are not dating; we just happen to enjoy children card games?"

"that day?"

"it was my only free day that month"

"and why you didn't play with the other girls then?"

"because the few of you that know how to play the game can't stop from actually summoning the monsters, or turning it in a shadow duel or ripping souls apart or well, I even had to write a rule about it years ago!"

"so you are not in a relationship"

"no"

"even when he shares the name of your last captain?"

"no"

"then everything is right in the world"

"what a weird conversation"

Later that day

"Hey Shizuo?"

"Are we dating?"

"… eh… no… or yes… sorta? Are we dating?"


	150. Rule 10373

_Rule by Berean_

Rule 10373: The use of high explosives to set off earthquakes is hereby forbidden.

South Dakota sighed once more as she sat in the admiral's anteroom leading to the office. The only change was it wasn't in San Diego but in Halifax, Nova Scotia. The events leading to this could only be described as a cluster fuck. It all started when she was in the shipgirl forums chatting with Vanguard and Tirpitz when the latter stated that what finally did her in was the RAF dropping "earthquake" bombs on her. Intrigued by the statement South Dakota asked what were they called and who made them when Vanguard promptly asked for a change in subject. Undeterred by Tirpitz's lover blunt dismissal South Dakota finally received her answer from said ship. Vanguard at that point ended the conversation and rebuked the US ship for her lack of decorum and restarting Tirpitz's nightmares.

"The Admiral will see you now."

Startled out of her thoughts, South Dakota nodded her head at the secretary and walked in, carrying her documents and stopped in front of the desk. Admiral Lombard looked up at her with a blank stare and held out her hand.

"I'll take those documents, Miss Dakota, I have to make sure they're all in order. The last thing I need is those idiots in Ottawa kicking you back because some fool forgot to dot an I or cross a T," Lombard grumbled.

"I take it they're not too pleased to have me here then?" South Dakota asked nervously.

"No, they are not. The fools nearly fainted when it was announced. It took your president threatening our Prime Minister with strangling him with his own guts for them to finally agree." Lombard said with a little too much glee in her voice. "I have to admit having Wreck as your president certainly cuts through a lot of the bullshit."

South Dakota heaved a sigh and prayed that the admiral wouldn't ask her why she was transferred here.

"So, mind telling me why I'm finally getting a usable battleship all of a sudden, or is it classified information?"

"Crap." South Dakota sighed and shook her head. "Umm, no Ma'am, but it is a long story and well….let just say I'm in exile till the situation blows over."

"What did you do this time? Certainly it couldn't be any worse than giving Shimakaze sisters, could it?"

"I might have tried to, well….drop bombs on the San Andreas fault."

"Bah, I doubt those will do anything. After all, it would take a really big bomb or an H-bomb to do any…."

"It was going to be eight Grand Slam bombs." South Dakota blurted out. Admiral Lombard whistled as her eyebrows climbed to her hairline.

"Damn...that could do it. But what possessed you to try...oh right, for Science! Since you are one of those girls. So, let me guess: you were caught trying to appropriate some B-52's for the experiment?"

"Actually, it was when I was going to have the Torpex made. I'm not an explosives expert so I was going to ask Vanguard, but she told me to forget it. Then I asked Phoenix but when she found out why she….blabbed to the admiral and, well...here I am."

Admiral Lombard nodded as she checked out the documents and signed off on them.

"Well, welcome to Halifax. So long as you don't cause the same problems here I won't have an issue with you. Oh, and I hope you love convoy duty since that will be about 90 percent of the sorties you'll be on. Ontario!" Lombard called out as the secretary came in.

"Yes, Admiral?"

"Take South Dakota to her quarters and fill her in on the convoy that's due to depart in two days. I'll file these personally." The Admiral told them with a mile wide grin on her face as she walked out of the office. Both ships watched her exit and turned to look at each other.

"Look, as long as you don't make another battleship doppelganger I think we should get along just fine." HMCS Ontario said to her as they departed the office.

"What happened to the battleship version of yourself anyway?"

"She's stuck in limbo till the government grows a pair and sends her to be refitted. Till then she is working in armoury helping out with repairs." The cruiser said with a sad smile.

"Idiots. Maybe I should do something about that when we get back from that escort mission."

South Dakota said with an all too familiar look of mischief on her face.


	151. Rule 10395

_Rule by me!_

 **Rule 10395: The Volcanoes are no longer allowed in the summoning chamber during summonings! "Things" tend to happen when they are!  
**  
It was just another day at Naval Base San Diego. Admiral Holloway was in the summoning chamber with whatever girls were on base as the band played.

"So who do you think we'll get this time Oregon?" Phoenix asked.

"Well after the arrival of Texas and her guided missile cruiser sisters I'd say it's a safe bet that we could start seeing some Kidd's maybe even an Arleigh or two." The freighter replied.

"Safe a bet as any." Phoenix shrugged. "I for one am hoping for a Spruance. So our usual wager?" She asked and Oregon grinned.

Their 'usual' wager was the exchange of science! Duty hours. That is who had primary control of the lab for the next while. It was both a fair prize and it kept one girl out of trouble with the Admiral if mayhem occurred as he would know exactly who to blame.

"Say what about our newest recruit. Any guesses?" Phoenix poked Helens in the side.

The volcano shot her a glare. "I don't gamble." She said simply and turned her attention back to the chamber.

Phoenix pouted but was unsurprised by the response. Despite her reputation, Helens was quite calm and it had become something of a game, albeit a dangerous one, amongst the science!girls and new summons to get a rise out of her.

The band finished its latest song and Admiral Holloway stepped forward. "GENERAL QUARTERS! GENERAL QUARTERS! ALL HANDS MAN YOUR BATTLESTATIONS!"

 _They had lain Silent for centuries. Their spirits forgotten by all but a few. They had seen their homes irrevocably altered by the strangers that had arrived from the east. Still the Boston men and others crawled across their flanks, marveling at their beauty._

 _ **General Quarters!**_

 _The call was unexpected and unfamiliar but not unwelcome._

 _ **General Quarters!**_

 _They had been forgotten for so long it felt good to know someone still cared._

 _ **All hands to battle stations!**_

 _They would return. And the world would bask in the glory of their flame once more.  
_

The center of the chamber's pool began to froth and waves radiated outwards from the center. Something was definatey happening. The water began to boil and churn in a way that had never been seen before. Whatever was emerging it was different than anyone else. But not unique. Phoenix recognized the frothing and boiling. She had seen it before just before she had summoned Helens.

Holloway looked around him. He had never seen this kind of activity during a summoning before. The sailors nearest him were nervous and some were backing away from the churning water. Holloway wasn't sure what concerned him more, the unusual activity or the knowing look on Phoenix's face and the widening of Helens eyes.

"Oh no." The volcano whispered.

"What? What is it?" Phoenix for once in her life sounded genuinely concerned.

Helens continued to mutter to herself. "Oh not those two, they are the worst!"

Phoenix was about to ask what she meant when two figures burst out of the pool, landing on the edge facing Admiral Holloway. Their broad shoulders and powerful builds indicated that they were of the Cascade range like Helens. But where Helens had an almost standard like appearance with her short legs and stubby arms these two were stretched versions, towering like an Iowa but beefy like a Montana. They had long blonde hair although one girl had a more bleached shade than the other. Her skin was tanned and she wore a flowery summer dress with lace around the neck and sandals. The other had fair skin and wore a denim jacket over a long sleeve and jeans with leather riding boots. Both had massive racks that put Musashi to shame! Their eyes were a hypnotizing ice blue and were resting squarely on Holloway.

The darker skinned one spoke first in a distinctively Californian accent. "Yo Admiral! Which of us is bigger!" She asked, squeezing her boobs.

Helens slapped a palm to her face and muttered something incomprehensible that was picked up by the fairer skinned of the girls. "What was that Helens?" Her voice was soft with an odd combination of Northwest laced with a British accent but hid a strength that made it almost frightening.

"I said it's nice to see you Tacoma." Helens said through gritted teeth.

"And it's nice to see you too dearie." Tacoma purred with false sweetness.

Holloway stepped forward. "Report!" He ordered as he snapped off a salute.

Both turned their attentions back to him. "Oh how rude of us to not introduce ourselves properly." Tacoma said with a glare at her companion. "My name is Rainier but I prefer Tacoma."

"Name's Shasta. What up?!" She flashed a peace sign.

Helens face palmed again and Tacoma sighed. "Shasta you said you wouldn't do this." She said.

Shasta ignored her and instead walked up to the nearest marine, shook his hand vigorously. "So gravelmuncher, in your opinion which of us is bigger."

"Ma'am?" The marine questioned.

Shasta's sunny disposition disappeared and she leaned in frighteningly practically shoving her upperworks in his face. "Which. Of. Us. Is. Bigger?!"

"Um, I believe that would be Tacoma." Holloway spoke up from his phone.

Shasta stared at him, then at Tacoma who somehow managed to look both resigned and smug at the same time. She preened herself proudly. "Nnnoooooooooooo!" Shasta wailed loudly.

Holloway covered his ears, Phoenix actually took a step back and Helens buried her face in her hands, quiet sobs shaking her shoulders.


	152. Rule 10414

_Rule by Gynthaen_

 **10414\. Sakura!Ikazuchi, Akatsuki and Hibiki, if you're worried about your sister, we found her. She's staying with the Z-class for a while, until we can get access to a portal going to your world  
10414a. You may also want to try getting her to talk to someone when she gets back, she wasn't looking too happy when they found her and spent at least some time getting hugs  
10414b. You should probably talk to her yourselves; she apparently landed here after you three ran off and left her to sortie with a different group. She needs reassurance that you still love her.  
**  
Getting a trio of drinks from the bar, Sally looked around the Edgcumbe Arms inn for a minute before spotting Robyn and Helen sitting on the leather chairs near the fire. Making her way over, she placed the glasses down, noting absently that there was someone else with them. "Alright, so Helen had the Ruby Jack, Robyn, yours was the Orchard's Blush, right?" she got a nod from her division mate, "leaving the Rattler Berry for me." She moved each of the glasses on the table to near where each of the girls were sitting before taking the last available place and turning slighting to the other girl, a girl with light blue hair and obvious, straight, horns growing from her head. "Hi, Sally Jones, my friends, if they haven't already introduced themselves, are Robyn Stevens and Helen Kerr, what's your name?" she asked, offering a hand to the girl.

"Fourth ship of the Special type III Akatsuki class destroyers, Inazuma," the girl introduced herself, not looking entirely sure of what was going on.

"Another breach?" asked Helen. "She certainly isn't Aoki Gina, and last I'd heard they'd gotten her stuck with Yoko's finances."

Robyn nodded, taking a sip of her drink. "She also knows us enough to drop the ship name, at least when we're off duty."

Seeing Inazuma looking between them with her brow wrinkled in confusion, Sally smiled at her. "It's a bit of a story, but the three of us are shipgirls, I'm HMS Zephyr, Robyn is my sister ship HMS Zenith and Helen is HMS Kempenfelt the leader of the W-class. All three of us are based out of HMNB Devonport over on the mainland."

Inazuma seemed to sink in on herself a little at that statement before looking up at Sally. "H-how? Ships are made, not born."

"Our universe is weird," Sally replied with a shrug. She took a drink from her glass before continuing. "Long story short anything that has a soul can have that soul reborn after it dies, for tsukumogami that means after the item or vehicle they were is retired, sunk, scrapped or otherwise destroyed, just because the body is gone doesn't mean the soul is, and… around thirty to forty years back the souls started filtering into human bodies and being born human." She shrugged again. "It probably wouldn't have mattered except that the Abyssals showed up causing us to start awakening to what we once were. Sometimes it takes months, sometimes an instant of terror and pain or protectiveness or just brushing against death for one reason or another."

"Oh…" Inazuma said softly, fiddling with the handle of her blue umbrella.

The three local shipgirls shared a look before Sally reached over and took Inazuma's hand gently. "Hey, what's wrong?"

Inazuma stayed quiet for a moment, looking down at the warm, calloused hand holding hers before looking up at Sally. "Why isn't everyone reacting to my horns?" she asked after another moment of internal debate. "When… when I arrived over the channel, a couple of humans called me a monster, but here… nothing."

"We're probably a bit too used to weird here," Helen replied, shifting back in her seat. "Between Abyssals having attacked a few times, Megan being the local Karas and responsible for most of the Shattenjägers around, meaning she deals with a lot of the supernatural…"

Robyn nodded as she drank, placing the glass down in front of her. "There's also the fact that Unicorn looks like Acorna and most of the Lions and Minotaurs here aren't completely human." She snorted softly, giving a head shake that sent her blonde hair whipping around her face. "Then there's Raven and her crew, and she's usually poking supernatural or portal stuff so we get to clean up those messes."

"The farm as well," Sally pointed out. "Helen's essentially in charge of a rather large animal farm," she explained on seeing Inazuma looking confused. "Thing is… most of the creatures are 'weird'. Heck, a good chunk of our radioactives stockpile is crapped out by slimes and we can milk some strange antelope type things for nitro-glycerine." She shrugged again.

Helen snorted. "Chained explosions are annoying, fortunately that was the rat pen that got hit by an abyssal bouncing a boom slime around." She smirked at the surprised shipgirl, "The look on its face though… particularly after it got dumped with cleaning up the mess."

Inazuma gave a slightly watery smile before looking back at Sally's hand, causing the trio to share a look. A couple of moments later, Helen and Robyn got up, the former heading for the bar while the latter squeezed in on Inazuma's opposite side, one arm going around the girl while the other took her free hand, Sally rearranging herself to do the same.

A few minutes later, Helen returned with a couple of bottles of red wine and glasses for it. Setting it down, she poured a glass for Inazuma. "Here," she offered, "I don't know if it'll match up to sake, but you look like you could 'do with a freaking drink' about now, and we're here if you want to talk about why."

The horned girl stared at Helen for a moment before letting go of the two Z-class' hands and clasping the glass, slurping down a few swallows. "I…" she started, "I miss my sisters, even that half mask Akatsuki wears. We were supposed to sortie together today, but… they went off and left me behind." She finished the glass and started to reach for the bottle only to be stopped by Sally's hand on her arm.

"Give it a bit before you have any more, Inazuma," Sally said gently.

The girl nodded before sinking back into the pair's arms, not noticing that Helen had taken her free hand. "The next thing I know, there's a scramble… I sortied out, then I'm waking up in France. I just… I wish I knew what to do." She looked between the trio. "Do you… do you think that… Ikazuchi, Akatsuki and Hibiki don't want to be around me anymore? Because I prefer escorts to fighting?" she asked softly.

Sally closed her eyes for a moment, remembering her own feelings while separated from her family. "I don't know your versions of them… but if they're anything at all like our versions, I doubt even death would keep them from caring about you." She shifted, rubbing her hand over Inazuma's back. "They probably had a time limit or got excited about something and ran off without thinking about you."

Robyn snorted softly, shaking her head as she gave Inazuma a gentle squeeze. "It wouldn't be the first time we've seen that. Our sisters pulled it off pretty well while we were visiting the Queen's home in Windsor, Helen included."

Helen gave the other girls a flat look. "At least Jen and I stuck to hanging out in the gardens and not causing a ruckus. Heck, _Vanguard_ made more of a mess than most of us."

Sally sipped her drink, shifting slightly as Inazuma moved to rest her head on her shoulder. "You two still ran off when you shouldn't have," she pointed out to Helen before turning to Inazuma. "Tell you what, Inazuma, we'll put you up in our place tonight, though you might end up sharing since the whole flotilla is home and while we do have our own beds and guest ones… well, we are destroyers," she said with a slight smile. "Tomorrow we'll talk to my aunt and Commodore Shipperly, see if there's any way to get in touch with your sisters and let them know what's going on, and get Alex working on getting a gate set up to your home."

Inazuma blushed. "I… hadn't thought about that," she admitted. "I don't even know if Sakura Empire yen would work here."

"Not directly," Robyn responded. "Depending how close things are, it could maybe be bluffed as Japanese and exchanged for pounds." Finishing her drink, she looked at the rest of the group. "I'll go give Meg and Anna a call, see if they can get a room set up since they decided to spend the night in, and see when the carvery opens. Be back in a bit, girls." She got nods from Sally and Helen before heading off, leaving the pair to comfort the displaced destroyer girl for a while.


	153. Rule 7458

_Rule by Graythryn_

 **7458\. Just because someone writes a letter and sends it to the wrong person stating that they are involved in some form of marriage doesn't mean you are allowed to threaten the sender with death or worse.  
7458a. Even if it is justified  
7458b. Even if the senders are self-righteous idiots who have breeding problems and less brains than an empty tortoise shell  
7458c. You're also supposed to capture them and turn them over to the civilian authorities, not use them for practice or turn them into fertilizer**

 _Dear Miss Megan Jones,_

 _Because of the recent war with He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, our once_ _ **thriving**_ _and_ _ **prosperous**_ _wizarding population has been_ _ **greatly**_ _reduced, along with the growing rate of Squibs being born since the end of the war, and needs to be saved before it is too late. By Ministry Decree Article #20995, a_ _ **mandatory**_ _Marriage Law has been implemented to ensure that our society continues on._

 _If you are receiving this letter, then_ _ **you**_ _are among the still registered available and unmarried witches and wizards between ages seventeen and up that the ministry has selected to take part in the marriage law, where you are_ _ **required**_ _to_ _ **submit**_ _yourself to the ministry within a_ _ **week**_ _of receiving your letter, where you will be put through a series of medical tests to confirm if you are compatible for the law before being assigned to your ministry appointed spouse who will be chosen for you beforehand via a special ritual._

 _The ministry has decided that_ _ **everyone**_ _must do their part in keeping our great society going in the name of progress so that we do not die out. Another safety measure to_ _ **ensure**_ _that no Squibs are born from the pairings, the ministry shall also implement a special ritual that will match up all couples with their perfect match that will ensure that any children born from the union will have magic, along with_ _ **monthly**_ _check-ups on the lucky brides will also be mandatory to keep track of the pregnancies._

 _All matched couples are_ _ **required**_ _to get married within a_ _ **month**_ _of being paired with each other, and all couples are required to have produced at least two to three, or more, children within the next five years of their marriage to each other, cheating and illegitimate children will_ _ **not**_ _be tolerated among the couples._

 _The ministry has decided that in the off chance case that the chosen couples are already_ _ **otherwise**_ _engaged or already married to other people, then we are_ _ **terribly**_ _sorry for the_ _ **inconvenience**_ _to_ _ **everyone**_ _involved, but they are now hereby_ _ **required**_ _to_ _ **dissolve**_ _their current relationship with that person in order to participate in the marriage law, as the relationship is_ _ **not**_ _approved by the ministry, and will be seen as failure to comply with the law if refusal is implied._

 _The ministry has also decided that one of the members that are matched is_ _ **already**_ _married; the married one is required to dissolve their marriage in order to take part in the Marriage Law._ _ **Failure**_ _to do so shall send the guilty party and everyone involved to Azkaban for three months, before they will be married to their ministry approved spouse upon release._ _ **Any**_ _children already conceived or born from the previous relationship will be given over full custody to the other parent or taken into to ministry custody until further notice._

 _It is_ _ **detrimental**_ _for the_ _ **continued**_ _wellbeing of our society that you comply by any means necessary in order to help ensure our society's future. Aurors shall_ _ **immediately**_ _be sent out to collect anyone who refuses to comply and bring them in to stand trial where they will have the choice to comply with the law, or be sent to Azkaban for three months._ _ **Continued**_ _failure to comply with the law will face_ _ **dire**_ _consequences. Continued refusal will result in having your wands snapped with your magic sealed, and all knowledge of magic erased from your minds._

 _Sincerely yours,_

 _Lilith B. Crawford, ESQ.  
Head Director of Regulation of Magical Marriages Ministry Department_

Scowling at the letter she had received, via an owl of all things – pigeons made sense, heck falcons would make sense, but owls? Someone was bloody stupid – the young navy captain shifted over to the office computer to pull up what she could on 'magic', 'aurors' and several other key points in the letter.

A few minutes later she had hits all over the globe, wand waving magicals, self-proclaimed witches and wizards. Of course with anything potentially a threat to security of a nation, the military and intelligence agencies were keeping a watch on them, as were several of the Schattenjägers and she had access to both being one of the founders of the Schattenjägers and a member of what was effectively navy special forces, the type that dealt with things black ops didn't know anything about.

Most magicals were apparently supremely self-aggrandising and self-righteous, not to mention isolationists and completely disconnected from the modern world. The whole forced marriages thing stunk of something done away with in most of the first world countries, only really lingering in Africa and the Middle East where most people took religion far too seriously for their mental health.

The captain snorted, shaking her head even as she booted the new information around so people could cross-reference stupidity. A moment later her phone rang. "Good morning, Captain Megan Jones, Devonport Kanmusu and Schattenjäger Fleet," she said, picking the device up.

"Wow, Megan, that sounds a mouthful," a youthful female voice answered. "What's up with this stuff about magicals that you've got bouncing around?"

Megan smirked, recognising the speaker. "Hey, Eldridge, it's nothing too important, just a group of them local to me apparently being more stupid than most." She shifted, reaching over to take a sip of her soda. "I got a letter… about half hour or so back that basically read like a threat. Apparently the local ones had some issue with an inbred moron and with more morons breeding too close and breeding themselves to death so they decided it'd be a _good_ plan to try and force everyone to marry and pop sprogs. Five years for two or more kids whether or not the person in question is already married and has kids or not." She snorted in amusement, shaking her head as she checked through a few emails she'd gotten back. "I'm betting at least seventy percent refusal rate just from natural inclination against that sort of crap."

"Yeesh… that's nasty. Do you want any of us to come to convince them to leave you alone?" Eldridge asked.

"It's more of a heads up, look-it the stupid… I mean given everything that happens around our bases, some idiocy outside might give people a laugh, though if you or someone else happens to be passing Devonport by in say a week or two, I wouldn't mind the extras to knock sense through thick skulls." Megan frowned, and then smirked as she picked out another email. "Actually, it might be worth being in on the fun, this might get all the way to the throne if the stupid is doing the rounds. Just remember to pack for supernatural and weird creature central if you decide to come over, you know what Devonport seems to attract."

Eldridge snorted in amusement. "Yeah I know, more weirdness than me and Hornext combined most days. We're actually up the coast from you girls in Scarpa at the moment, I'll see if we can get a train ticket down."

"You remember which line Myngs runs?" Megan asked, getting an affirmative answer. "See if you can get a run on that, she's got passenger and troop trains for getting people to and fro, actually about 30-45% cheaper for us over most lines, which probably means she's making a mint off shuffling military personnel about the country, maybe the continent as well. I'll copy you girls in on the response I send them, but I'd better get back to it. Catch you later, Eldridge."

"Yeah, see you in a few days, Megan," Eldridge responded before hanging up.

Shifting in her seat, Megan frowned at the computer as she pulled up a new document – using her official letter template – and started to type out a response.

 _Dear Ms Lilith B. Crawford, ESQ._

 _RE: Ministry Decree Article #20995 – Mandatory Marriage Law_

 _I received your "letter" earlier today, and I must say, I've never seen such a waste of paper (parchment?) in my life, and I've been to a base that generates literal mountains of paper. Granted that's a major supply base for naval ports in the eastern hemisphere, so it gets a lot of things passing through its doors that it needs to track._

 _With regards to this 'demand' that I come in to be married to someone I've never even met. I think you have the wrong Megan Jones. Yes, that is my name. Yes, I do live in Plymouth. No, I am not a witch. I'm a Karas. More to the point, I'm a Royal Navy Captain stationed at HMNB Devonport's Kanmusu and Schattenjäger Fleet. While the combination of names I have might be somewhat uncommon, the names themselves aren't. I believe there were three other 'Megans' and five or more 'Joneses' at my school just in the year I was in, the one above and the one below, just for a start, not counting my twin sister among the latter._

 _There are, at last count, roughly 65-70 million permanent residents in the United Kingdom, and even if Plymouth doesn't have that amount, there's enough here that even slim odds get more than a few outings._

 _That aside, I believe the term for this is 'try me, see how much trouble you end up in'. You send anyone to attempt to force things and you'll be lucky if they return alive, much less in one piece. Want to know why forcing things would be an issue?_

 _1) As stated, I'm a Karas, which means I'm the person chosen by a manifestation of the city to keep the peace between the supernatural and natural sides of her inhabitants. Usually this means settling disputes and knocking people over the head, but there are Mikura – mechanical demons that run on blood and eat humans raw – that often need to be destroyed, which I do. With a sword. Some of them have enough armour to make a battleship go green with envy._

 _2) I'm currently involved in the Royal Navy fighting a war against creatures called Abyssals, corrupted versions of tsukumogami of warships mostly from the first half of the twentieth century, circa 1900-1950. I can and have fought up to cruiser level ones with my own abilities and brought them down. If you're wondering, a cruiser is a ship that weighed – at that time – roughly 5,000-15,000 tonnes and equipped anywhere from 6x 5 inch up to 9x 15 inch naval rifles as their main battery – that's the shell diameter, not the gun length. Think about that._

 _3) My twin sister is also involved in this war, she's a destroyer shipgirl fully capable of ground bombardment with her main battery guns, which are 5in HE and trained as part of the Special Boat Service, the British Navy version of the better known SAS, she's also fully capable of holding her own against supernatural and is third in command of the local kanmusu fleet._

 _4) My aunt is the commander of said fleet, and she's a 'five-in-one', though the other portions of her soul are a Blue Mermaid engineer, an Argonian assassin who knows battle magic capable of killing her version of demons, a Spectral Knight that can shape shift and use enchanted battle staffs and a Strike Witch that has been fighting an alien invasion by creatures made mostly of hard light. She can, and has, killed both Abyssals and Mikura herself, and summoned aedra to aid her, not to mention she has a striker pack that lets her fly at Mach 1.6 – that is 1.6 times the speed of sound or just shy of 1220 miles an hour –and carries a 30mm assault cannon. The pack weighs over a tonne, never mind the gun._

 _5) My twin's sister ships – all_ _ **seven**_ _of them, are all destroyers and pretty close to as capable as she is. The Z-class, or Zulus, are known to attract supernatural and shrug off hits that would leave a battleship crying in a corner._

 _6) There are also the eight W-class destroyer girls (Wilders), with their quirks. Wizard can actually use magic and has a cave drake as a 'familiar', Whelp has two sea basilisks for pets, Wager looks after a slime ranch that has at least two innately hostile to life slime types (boom and rad – take a guess as to what happens with them), not to mention the tars that show up when they eat one another's dung. Of course that's not even counting the two carragors Kempenfelt owns. Those giants that tried crossing the ocean into Plymouth? They tore them down and tore them apart. Alone._

 _7) We also recently gained the rest of the eight Minotaur-class cruisers and all four named Lion-class battleships along with HMS Unicorn, the light carrier, and two transferred carriers_

 _8) Along with them, there's UEC Conqueror. She's an assault carrier girl equipped with a tactical missile launcher and plasma cannon in addition to her MANTA and WALRUS compliments._

 _9) My girlfriend is also in the mix, she's Anna Howell or HMS Umbra, U-class submarine, a descendant of Jack the Ripper, someone who was a scourge on London in the late 19th and really early 20th centuries. Push her at your peril because she will pull out her ancestor's bag of tricks and butcher you if you piss her off. Meaning expect to see your guts spread around for people to look at._

 _10) There's also two more kanmusu I've not mentioned yet, Devonport herself, who can take you apart and put you back together again. She's patched me up plenty of times. There's also Raven, an airship with a dragon knight as a commander, a wizard as the guy's chief of staff and a demon as a power source. She's also plenty capable of setting up and deploying bases and armies with four generals and four princesses to lead them in addition to the aforementioned dragon knight._

 _11) Of course, all those points completely ignore the normal naval personnel and marines around the base, of which there is in the region of three_ _ **thousand**_ _of, any of which can kill you flat. Guns can fire anywhere from one to six hundred rounds a minute and are man-portable, non-man-portable guns are often either faster firing, use heavier rounds or both._

 _As you ought to be able to see, trying to force me into becoming a trophy wife for any magical nitwit is a losing proposition, particularly since this is_ _ **just**_ _Devonport's personnel I've talked about, not even going into the rest of the British kanmusu based out of Alexandria, Portsmouth, Scapa Flow and other locales, the groups outside Britain (including the Destroyer Alliance that my sister is part of along with a couple of long-time friends of hers, one of which is an admiral in her own right, the other, like me and my sister, is a captain) my friends among the various groups dealing with supernatural BS including the Schattenjäger guild and any allied abyssal, spaceship kanmusu, aliens, supernatural creatures and other things._

 _Long story short, you've got the wrong girl and if you try, you die. I've got enough power at my back that we can probably eradicate your entire subspecies, not to mention a fairly direct chain of command to the Royal Family, who will probably be most interested in the fact you're trying to subvert a member of their armed forces for your own ends and will probably be 'unhappy' about your continued existence if this is the type of 'law' coming from your side of things._

 _Lose the law and bugger off, or try screwing around and see how screwed you are. Your choice._

 _Captain Megan Jones_

 _Commander of Supernatural Operations  
Kanmusu Fleet Operations  
Her Majesty's Naval Base Devonport  
Plymouth  
PL2 2BG_

After retrieving the owl – barely – from the gelatinous jaws of several hunter slimes that had managed to slip their enclosure, and packing them back into it with a few of Kayleigh's former chickens, Megan sent the letter off to wherever it had come from with a sigh.

While it wasn't exactly news that there were hidden societies out there, even ones that should have only been fictional, the fact that this batch of magic using twits thought that they could boss around someone that had never been part of their society was more than a little annoying. Of course, with the amount of weird that was part of her normal life, it wasn't exactly likely to be unheard of that someone would find something weird around.

She snorted to herself as she started back to her office at HMS Drake. The only real question about this mess would be what sort of fallout there would be, and whether it would make the List.

The aurors, when they finally got around to going to Devonport Naval Base two weeks after receiving the letter from their target, were immediately greeted by the sounds of heavy metal music blasting from various speakers as armed men and women rushed around to cut off bouncing balls of goo and several waves of demons while another, much larger pair of monsters, clashed in the bay.

"Come on you crab handed cocksuckers! Is that the best you've got?" a female voice yelled above the melee. "Your father was a ghost crab and your mother was a half-starved imp!" it continued, breaking off into cackles at the shrieks of outrage from a group of monstrous beings.

As the group of aurors watched, the group attacked an armoured woman with their pincers, only to explode in showers of gore a moment later as the woman seemed to teleport past them.

"MEGAN!" another voice called from closer to the water's edge. "STOP PLAYING WITH THE BLOODY IDIOT DEMONS AND KILL THE FUCKING COCKSUCKING, BLOODGULPING CATFISH!" The sound of explosions cut off anything else the other voice might have said for a solid minute.

The time and distraction was long enough that one of the bouncing balls of goo, this one mostly red apart from yellow cracks over its face, to land in the middle of the group and explode, blowing them all off their feet.

It was stunned by the explosion long enough for one of the marines carrying a vacuum of all things, to suck it up before running off to deal with something else.

Faced with the amount of chaos around them, the aurors retreated before anything else could happen.

Blinking herself awake, Megan scowled at finding herself tied in a chair. The last thing she remembered was some ugly akuma getting in her way, asking her name and telling her that she was under arrest, though not why, before things went black.

Testing the ropes, her scowl deepened. "Ly?" she called softly.

"Right here, Karas," a voice answered before a girl that could have passed for her younger sister appeared out of the air in a flash of golden feathers. The girl waved a hand and the ropes fell apart, letting Megan gain her feet.

"Thanks," Megan said, "Any idea what happened or where we are?"

Ly adjusted her flat cap before opening her black jacket and fishing out a familiar talisman, which she passed to Megan. "We're behind some sort of perception filter near the Brownhill Battery. You were attacked by magicals, though it took ten of them to stun you, and they had to hit you at the same time, without your armour." The neon blue haired girl gave Megan a smirk. "Just so you know the other girls aren't particularly happy with them…"

Megan gave Ly a curious look, which was answered with a smug, sadistic grin, before she initiated the change into her armoured form, walking through the runic circle that appeared from the talisman. "Then I guess I will have to show my own displeasure," she said, drawing her sword and using it to slash open the door as an explosion rocked the building.

The first magical she met, the pink frog thing from earlier, started screaming almost as soon as she spotted Megan, sending a green spell her way. Megan raised her sword, deflecting the spell into a wall where it blew a chunk out of the stone and kept advancing. Two more spells both deflected with equal ease saw her close enough to slice the woman's arm off.

Blood splattered the ground as screams of anger turned to pain. Another, horizontal slash and the frog's head bounced off a wall and to the ground with a series of dull thumps.

The eye plates of her helmet turning red, Megan stalked through the building, killing anyone stupid enough to attack her and not run away like they had a demon on their arse.

Commodore Glenn looked over the ruins of what had apparently been a small town or base hidden near Brownhill Battery, ignoring the growls of Helen's caragors as they used one of the more persistent magicals for a chew toy.

"On the one hand, it's good to have you back, Megan," she said, turning to look at her niece. "On the other, we now have to deal with a lot of corpses and the Sea Lords wanted to… talk… to whoever was in charge of this mess so it wouldn't happen again."

Megan snorted, standing in her armour next to her sister. "I say we just take pictures then dump the corpses in an unmarked grave or feed them to the animals at the farm. Farkas and Aela certainly seem to be enjoying their toy."

Glenn scowled at her nieces. "You two do realise that the only reason we were allowed to deal with this rather than the police was because it was one of our own that was kidnapped this time. Without a prisoner we can't find out anything about where they might be hiding or whether there are any others that they've kidnapped," she pointed out. "Next time, take at least a few of them alive so we can give them to the police or MI6, understand?"

"Sir, yes sir!" both girls snapped.

"Good, you're in charge of cleaning this mess up, I need to explain things to the Sea Lords," Glenn said, turning and marching in the direction of one of the cars nearby.


	154. Rule 10424

_Rule by Grathryn_

 **10424\. Azur!Ikazuchi, we know you want your sister back, that doesn't mean that you can just run around Devonport without an escort.  
10424a. The fact you got knocked on your arse by Megan is only part of it. Be glad she only cut your turret in half instead of you  
10424b. You even saw her take a ****_battleship_** **part in a practice duel, why did you think it was a good idea to draw your turrets?  
10424c. Akatsuki, pulling your turret on the girl helping Inazuma was not only stupid in the fact that you had just rammed your sister, you did it in front of ****_both_** **of Whelp's basilisks and unlike their land based cousins, Norwegian sea basilisks have highly corrosive venom and a very powerful electrical discharge, strong enough that they can probably stun a blue whale. Be glad it didn't use full force on you.**

The pink haired oni darted out of the door to the room that she, her two sisters and several Royal Navy destroyer girls had appeared in through the swirling, multi-hued portal. Her sister was in trouble in this place, she couldn't hang around. She ignored the twin yelps from Akatsuki and Hibiki along with the yell from Comet.

It had been four weeks… _four weeks_ since they had returned from a sortie to find her sister gone, anything could have happened!

Darting around a group of people in uniforms she vaguely recognised as Royal Navy, though not the type she was used to seeing, she ran for the big building. If they were keeping her sister anywhere, they would probably keep her close to the command area.

Bursting through the doors she barely managed to stop before tripping over a pair of kneeling destroyers watching as a blue-haired young woman took on a taller redhead with a sword.

"Seriously, Lion," the bluette commented as she batted the other's sword away. "You're using a broadsword not a rapier, stop focusing purely on stabbing and slash!" She went into a flurry of sweeping slashes that Lion was hard pressed to turn aside. "Protect your shoulders!" she snapped as wood cracked against wood.

Ikazuchi blinked as the bluette ducked under a slash from Lion, her wooden blade smacking into the padded armour of the vest the other girl used.

"And that's a kill," the girl said, stepping back and lowering her blade. "Seriously though, Lion, I know you were trained to fence, but the Sword of Omens is a broadsword in its full form, you need to use that, meaning you need to slash with it." She rested the point of her practice blade on the ground. "Take five then run katas on the pells."

"Aye, Captain," Lion responded with a salute.

The girl nodded before turning to the other girls. "Zodiac, start working on your axe, Blanc will probably be by in an hour or so. Zest, you get chopping wood," she ordered, sending the pair off before turning to Ikazuchi. "Captain Megan Jones and you are?"

"Looking for my sister," Ikazuchi replied stiffly.

"Good to know, but it doesn't tell me _who_ they are," Megan pointed out.

Ikazuchi growled. One thing she had issues with was all the talking others did. It was hard to find words, and that this one wasn't using her language only made it harder. "You will take me to my sister."

Megan arched an eyebrow at her. "And here I thought Japanese tended towards being more polite than anyone else," she muttered, moving to grab a bottle of water before focusing on Ikazuchi. "I can't take you to your sister if I don't know who your sister is. There's something like three thousand people around here at any given time and even presuming she's a shipgirl, _if_ she's on base, I still have a lot of people to go through."

Growling again at the response, Ikazuchi reached down, slipping her wrist through her turret strap and raised it to point at Megan. "Take me to my sister," she ground out, only to realise that Megan wasn't where she was pointing. A moment later she felt something scrape her forearm under the underside of her turret before the floor became the ceiling and everything spun.

Blinking when everything came to a stop, she realised there was a live and very sharp blade point resting against her throat and swallowed hard, looking up at glowing blue eyes. "Yield, yield! I yield!" she yelped, raising her hands only to realise that her turret wasn't on her wrist anymore.

"Good to know you know when not to be stupid," Megan said. "Now, what is your name?"

"Ika-Ikazuchi…" Ikazuchi replied, trying not to cringe from the odd eyes Megan now had, the pupils showing a glowing circle partially bisected by a line. "I come to find Inazuma."

Megan studied her for a moment longer. "Huh, the two of you remind me of Blanc's twin sisters." She stepped back, making the sword vanish in a flash of feathers before hauling Ikazuchi to her feet. "You know, if you'd told me the name first, you wouldn't have ended up on your back." She frowned for a moment, chewing the inside of her lip. "I think… she's out at the farm this morning." Reaching behind herself, she pulled her phone and called in her encounter while Ikazuchi was distracted.

"Farm?" questioned Ikazuchi. "How you…" she trailed off and made a gesture, "sword things?"

Cocking an eyebrow at the other girl, Megan frowned slightly. "You mean making it appear and vanish?" she asked, starting out of the dojo and leading Ikazuchi to where her car was parked. "Does the term 'karas' mean anything to you?" she asked.

Blinking, Ikazuchi looked at Megan. "You karas?" she asked, "Crow guard?" The pinkette shifted, pulling her kimono up higher over her shoulders at a chill breeze. "Never seen a Karas, heard rumours though, they fight akuma, protect their cities. How'd a gaijin become a karas?"

Megan smirked at her. "Japan… either version, doesn't have a monopoly on weird or on guardians. There's a few legends about crows and ravens around Britain and with the age of information we're in, things move around a lot." She shrugged; guiding Ikazuchi to her car and unlocking it, letting the girl get in on the passenger side. "By your left shoulder there's a strap with a buckle on it, pull it down and put it into the buckle by your right hip." She instructed as she started the car. "And if you stick around this dimension, be aware that some drivers are slow pokes, others tend to speed or drive crazily." She grinned at Ikazuchi's grimace before starting them out of the carpark.

Guiding them through busy city streets, Megan watched her passenger out of the corner of her eye, noting the way Ikazuchi kept fiddling with her kimono or dress. Pulling to a stop at a red light, she reached over and patted the girl's knee, making her jump slightly. "Hey, it's alright. If anything, Inazuma will probably want you girls to be giving her comfort. She was pretty much a worrywart the night my sister met her, mostly about you, 'Biki and Akatsuki running off on her."

Ikazuchi shifted as the car started again. "I… worry," she admitted, "Four weeks passed since she lost."

Megan glanced over at her again. "Not to sound rude, but do you have problems speaking?" she asked. "You sound more broken than your sister and it sort of sounds like it's not just because of speaking English."

She remained silent for a few minutes as Megan continued driving before nodding slightly. "Words are hard… words not… of my tongue are harder."

"I'd suggest having someone to talk to, just someone that'll let you ramble about anything and nothing if you want to make it easier to speak. Having someone that's multilingual would help with other languages as well." Megan shrugged as they turned off towards the farm having reached the city limits. "I pretty much grew up with it, had penpals in Japan, Jamaica and France, meaning none of us spoke the same language, so we all learned from one another, there were times where Mom and Dad would come to put Sally and I to bed and hear us rattling away in a bizarre mix of English, Japanese, French, German and South African, I think we had Norwegian as well, 'cause Kaylie's family came from somewhere around that way, and that's without the other things our relatives added to the mix." She smiled slightly. "It's been a while since me, Zeph, Willie, 'Buki, Naka, Shadewing, Mars, Lebe, Max and Gbahali managed to do a proper joint chat or stream. I kinda miss them," she admitted.

Akatsuki and Hibiki yelped as they were grabbed from behind by the Royal Navy destroyers, preventing them from following their sister out the door to the room they had appeared in. It was only when she managed to turn around to see the look on the green haired destroyer's face that she realised what she had almost done. They were here, invited, to someone else's military base. Even if their sister was here, they couldn't just go running around.

"We promised to help you find her, Akatsuki," Comet said, "but you girls shouldn't go running off. Even _if_ this place looks like the Devonport at home… we don't know what might be where."

Akatsuki nodded before her uncovered eye widened at Comet giving her a hug.

"Come on, ninja," Comet smirked, stepping back slightly before leading the five of them out of the building they were in to where a girl was waiting with what looked like a pair of dogs almost bigger than she was. "Hello, I am the C-class destroyer, Comet," she introduced herself before motioning to the others. "These are my sisters Cygnet," the white haired Royal Navy destroyer girl with a purple skirt and hair ties, "and Crescent," this time it was the amber haired girl in white and pink, "along with Akatsuki and Hibiki of the Special Type III destroyers."

"Kempenfelt," Helen replied, offering her hand to each of the girls in turn. "This pair is Farkas and Aela, a pair of caragors I rescued a while back." She looked around the group and frowned. "I'm surprised Ikazuchi isn't with you, I would have thought she'd want to find her sister."

Akatsuki shifted slightly. "She… ran off," she admitted, giving a slight squeak as Helen turned her attention to her. "I-if Comet and Cygnet hadn't caught Hibiki and I, we might have as well," she admitted.

Helen shook her head and sighed. "Of course she did, because why wouldn't she?" she sighed again as she pulled her phone. "I'm going to have to call it in; if we're lucky she went to the training grounds not the offices, Megan can rein her in there." Waving the girls to follow her, she called Minotaur and relayed what was going on to her.

Hibiki and Akatsuki shared a look as Helen led them to a minibus and unlocked it so they could get inside. "Why are we using this?" Akatsuki asked, settling uncomfortably in a seat between Hibiki and Comet.

"The farm's inland," Helen replied, allowing the caragors in before shutting the doors and climbing into the driver's seat. "You five need to put on the seatbelts; they should be at your shoulder nearest the frame and need to connect to the buckle near your hip." Suiting actions to words, she put hers on before starting the minibus up. "We weren't really sure who would be turning up or when so Inazuma was going to spend the day at the farm helping out with the animals." She glanced in the mirror at the girls. "You five need to keep your guns down, there will be things that are freaky or monstrous, but we don't need someone setting off the boomalopes or causing a tarr outbreak.

Inazuma had to admit, if nothing else, the last few weeks had been interesting, occasionally scary or gross, but definitely interesting. She hadn't met her local namesake, but Sally and the rest of the Z-class had at least been willing to indulge her when she needed to sleep with others for comfort and it had been interesting seeing the girls change on the short escort run they had done out to Norway and back.

She smiled slightly, watching Wager handle the massive sea basilisks she cared for. It had also been interesting seeing the group party, even if her voice hadn't held up to the singing the girls had done that night.

"Hey, Inazuma," Sally's voice broke into her reverie as the other destroyer girl approached her, weaving easily through the flock of bird-like girls. "Just got word from base, it looks like your sisters are here, though we might need to track Ikazuchi down."

"Th-they're here?" Inazuma asked.

Sally smiled slightly. "Well, they're in our world," she replied, moving to lean against the fence near Inazuma. "Helen's bringing Akatsuki and Hibiki up along with a trio of Brit boats, Comet, Cygnet and Crescent from your world." She arched an eyebrow at Inazuma, who nodded.

"They're Royal Navy… I don't really know them," Inazuma admitted. "What happened to Ikazuchi?"

"She apparently ran off, hopefully she ran into someone in the know, otherwise we might have to extract her from the brig… probably the one we keep for Alex's 'specimens'," Sally said shaking her head. "Somehow, I doubt she'll want to spend the night bunking with whatever monstrosity Alex has got in there this time. The last I'd heard it was some sort of mutant corpse they'd dug out of god alone knows where."

Inazuma was prevented from replying by the ringing of Sally's phone (something else she wasn't used to yet) along with a fairly short conversation between Sally and whoever was on the other end.

A few minutes later Sally finished the call, slipping her phone back into its case. "Alright, looks like we _won't_ need to pick Ikazuchi up from the brig, Megan's bringing her, though apparently your sister wasn't exactly the most helpful of people so Megan ended up putting her on her back in order to get through to her."

Grimacing, Inazuma sighed. "My sister… finds talking difficult at times. Add in language and it's possible she chose actions to words, wrongly."

"It's hardly the first time language has caused problems," Sally admitted.

Inazuma started to respond, only to be cut off by someone shouting her name moments before two bodies crashed into her sending her to the ground. "Owie!"

Sally moved to help the girl up only for Akatsuki scrambled off her sister, pulling her turret to point it at Sally, only to shriek in shock and pain as electricity coursed through her, making her muscles spasm uncontrollably for a few seconds as the air crackled and snapped, leaving her blinking and charred.

Sally smirked and pointed behind her, causing the masked girl to turn around slowly and shriek in surprise as a massive head lowered, dripping venom that caused the ground to smoke and bubble. The message was very clear.

"Okay… what is it with you Sakura Empire ships pulling guns on people you don't know and don't have a… disagreement with?" Comet asked as she and the other four girls arrived. "And what the heck is that?"

"Norwegian sea basilisk," Sally replied with a grin. "Her parents actually helped the ship HMS Whelp take down the Tirpitz in our universe, which was more luck than anything since the _other_ universes we know of, Tirpitz was transferred to the Atlantic and sunk by carriers." She shrugged, looking down at Hibiki, who unlike their local version, had red hair and was currently staying very close to Inazuma, watching with wide eyes. "Whelp's crew practically raised the pair, so they're pretty protective of her."

Comet frowned. "We've… still got problems with Tirpitz at home," she admitted. "HMS Comet, my sister ships Cygnet and Crescent, and you've already met Akatsuki and Hibiki. We were asked to keep an eye on them seeing as from everything we got, you were closest to the Royal Navy of our groups."

Sally nodded, offering a hand to each of the girls. "Sally Jones or HMS Zephyr when I'm on duty, I'll take you up to the farm house so DesDiv Six can catch up," she gave the two new comers. "And two of them had better talk to their sister given she spent a couple of nights crying on my shoulder over her worries about them not caring for her," she added severely, making both Akatsuki and Hibiki swallow hard.


	155. Rule 10463

_Rule by Grathryn_

 **10463\. Everyone be aware there's** ** _one_** **permanent gate to an Azur Lane universe now fully established in Devonport, England, though temporary gates could appear anywhere.**

 **10464\. Devonport girls, the Azur!Royal Navy is grateful for the food supplies sent through when the three C-class that escorted the Sakura!DesDivSix returned, as are at least**

 ** _some_** **of the Sakura Empire shipgirls  
10464a. Sakura!Inazuma has established her own garden from the seeds you sent**

 **10465\. Sakura!Kaga, just because they sunk you once, that doesn't mean you can bury Comet, Crescent and Cygnet in… manure.  
10465a. Also sending Inazuma to feed them, bad idea considering the girls spent a month together while the portal was sorted out  
10465b. And you managed to annoy her enough to stop supplying you, congratulations Kaga. The incipient riot at the Sakura!Yokosuka is on your head, literally.  
10465c. Sakura!Nagato, your actions didn't help, particularly as you weren't the aggrieved party for what your version of DesDivSix did in Devonport, dumping more on them is just going to annoy them**

Standing in front of the portal that led back to their home, Inazuma almost felt sad to leave this world behind. For all that they were supposed to be enemies; the girls here had treated her and her sisters well.

Looking around, she blinked as the various Z-class girls loaded her sisters and the C-class girls down with food to the point that they're actually staggering under the weight.

"Zephyr?" asked Inazuma, looking up at one of the girls that weren't carrying anything.

"Yes, Inazuma?" replied Sally.

Inazuma opened and closed her mouth a couple of times before getting her thoughts in order. "Are you girls sure you can give us all this?" she asked. "I mean, you're at war as well, surely you have problems with food and such."

"Not as much as you'd think," Sally said. "Between having our own farm, with fruits and vegetables that grow pretty quickly and the set up Wizard made elsewhere, and the fact we're one of the go to points for space grown stuff, which is building up even more and more, we're actually in pretty good shape." She shrugged and smirked. "Better, honestly, than Scapa Flow or Portsmouth, which considering they screwed us a few times is a bit of karma." She looked over the seven girls, smiling slightly. "Besides, maybe we can give your people a boot up the arse so they don't go through the same crap after this war. Humanity works best together."

Nodding slightly, Inazuma leaned up and pressed her lips against Sally's in a chaste kiss. "Thank you," she whispered, "for everything." She turned to leave, only to be caught in a quick hug by Sally.

"Good luck, Inazuma, see you on the flip side," Sally said as she released the light blue haired shipgirl.

Nodding again, Inazuma hurried through the portal, a slight blush tinging her cheeks.

"Why'd you kiss Zephyr, Inazuma?" Comet asked as the rest of the group slipped through the portal, making Inazuma jump slightly.

"I… it felt right, and there wasn't anything to it," Inazuma replied. "Besides, if you were stuck in their version of the Sakura Empire for two moons and one particular girl helped you more than the rest, wouldn't you feel they deserved something more personal?"

Comet arched an eyebrow, moving to hand off her load to London, who grunted under the weight before returning to Inazuma. "If I wasn't a prisoner and was treated properly? Maybe I would do the same, if someone deserved it." She shrugged before looking up at see a white haired woman with several fox tails glaring at them. "Uh oh, looks like Kaga's getting pissy again. I swear, ever since we kicked her tails she's had a spiky stick up her arse."

Inazuma gave an involuntary snort at that, shaking her head. "I think she's always been that way. She doesn't like losing, and to do so to destroyers?" she snorted again, shaking her head. "I'd better go, before she gets too irritable but… I actually preferred fighting with you than against you." She offered a hand to Comet, who shook it, before she hurried off.

Planting the last of the oca ocas in the garden patch they had been gifted, Inazuma pulled off her gloves and stood, stretching with a groan. At least her having started setting up their own 'farm' meant that Kaga had finally stopped complaining at her about things that weren't her fault, besides, from what Sally and the other girls in that otherworld Devonport had said, she could have been in a much worse place than their world.

Walking back to the dorm, she tossed her gloves aside, found a chair in the lounge and flopped into it with a soft groan.

"Ehh?" black catlike ears popped up over the side of another chair followed quickly by golden brown eyes. "Inazuma, are you all right?"

Inazuma looked through her light blue bangs at the neko-like destroyer girl. "Just tired, Yuugure," she replied. "It's a long trip from England, and having to listen to Kaga all through it only made it longer." She sighed, brushing a hand through her hair, mindful of her horns.

"England?" Yuugure asked. "What would you be doing there?"

Leaning back, Inazuma sighed softly, closing her eyes. "I didn't go there because I wanted to or was ordered to," She admitted, "I don't know how I ended up in France, but England gave me a place to call home, at least for a while." She opened one eye to look at Yuugure. "Do you remember two months or so ago when we had the emergency sortie?" she asked. "Something happened while I was on it and I woke up in a field in France… Iris Libre here, and ran into two civilians who called me a monster." She raised her hand to her horns. "Seeing what they were fighting… I guess I can see why an oni such as myself could be called that, but to hear it." She shook her head and sighed.

Yuugure shifted slightly. "So how'd you end up in England? Did you have to fight the Royal Navy? Is that why you're not wearing your kimono today?"

"I sailed across the channel, not really looking where I was going until I found myself in a… special teahouse," Inazuma said, "One that serves grape wine among other drinks similar. While I was there, three women came in and joined me. They didn't know me, but their reaction to my name was telling. They didn't hate me because I was part of the Sakura Empire or for my horns; instead, they comforted me and offered a place to stay."

"Who were they?" Yuugure asked. "And why wouldn't someone from England hate us? Ever since we were ordered to attack the Eagle Union they've attacked us whenever we cross paths, if we aren't ordered to attack them first."

Inazuma shook her head again, swallowing against the dryness creeping up her throat. Getting to her feet, she quickly got herself a drink of water and downed it before refilling her cup and sitting down again. "They were in the future to where we are. For them, it is like all nations found something horrible about the sirens and are fighting them with little to no care for borders," she said. "No, the girls, they called themselves 'shipgirls', mentioned someone else, who is their version of me." She smiled slightly, leaning back again. "Helen Kerr, HMS Kempenfelt; Robyn Stevens, HMS Zenith and Sally Jones, HMS Zephyr is what they introduced themselves as, they also mentioned Aoki Gina as my alternate and a 'Jen', who was HMS Zodiac, Helen's girlfriend."

She took another sip from her water as she pondered what else she could reveal. "They comforted me and kept me company until my sisters could get there, though that could have ended badly, if they weren't restrained. They had animals there that can cripple the best of the Ironbloods battleships. Akatsuki tried pulling her turret on Sally and got shocked by one of them while Ikazuchi got annoyed at Sally's sister… she's lucky that Megan only cut her turret in two. That's part of why they're not here now, Nagato learned of their actions and she isn't happy with them."

"And your clothes, Inazuma?" Yuugure asked.

Inazuma smiled slightly. "Gardening which is actually pretty relaxing, even if it is hard work. Hopefully soon we'll get some more food out of it. The 'Zulus' gave both my sisters and the C-class girls that escorted them enough food to last a couple of weeks for the carriers, and enough seeds to start our own farms." She shrugged, looking down at her jeans and t-shirt. "These are pretty hard wearing, more so than stockings, and they don't show dirt as much as a _white_ dress. It's not like we _need_ to wear a particular outfit all the time, or even all the time we're awake." She looked over at her companion, frowning slightly as she took in Yuugure's ears and tail. "Well, you might have it harder because of your tail, but clothes could probably be adapted for it."

The pair looked up as the door opened to let in the rest of Destroyer Division Six, all three of whom looked down in the dumps. Ikazuchi almost immediately peeled off from the other two to crawl into her twin's embrace while Akatsuki and Hibiki grabbed drinks and slumped near their sisters.

"So what happened?" Inazuma asked after rearranging herself so she could hold Ikazuchi. Why did she feel like the eldest all of a sudden?

"Supply runs," Ikazuchi admitted, "for the next two months. Otherwise we're to stay at base." She sighed, snuggling into her sister's side. "We're not allowed to have any of the food we brought back either."

Inazuma snorted softly. "Well, that doesn't stop you from having any of the food that's _grown_ here," she commented, giving her sisters a small smile. "If things grow as quickly here as they did for the Wilders, then we'll probably have something available tomorrow, maybe next week, and unless they've stuck you on limited rations, it's not as if the mess will know what is in what." She gave her sisters a look, only for them to look away from her. "Nagato has you on rations, doesn't she?" she asked, getting a hesitant nod from Akatsuki. "Does she even know that you're being punished twice over with that?" asked Inazuma, frowning. "Because I remember Ikazuchi and Akatsuki both having to sleep alone while Hibiki and I were allowed to share a room or join the other girls, and they had to clear out that base of Wizard's, care for the slimes and other mucky drudge work for the first week of their stay, and that was with the girls they'd attempted to threaten." Both named girls grimaced, Ikazuchi curling tighter into Inazuma's side.

"Teleporting… stick men… things… were a nightmare," Ikazuchi muttered, shivering.

Akatsuki echoed her sister's shivers, causing Hibiki to hug her. "I still don't feel clean," Akatsuki muttered. "I think my mask or hair still has goop in it."

Inazuma glared at Kaga as the two Sakura Empire shipgirls stood facing one another in the mess hall, behind her, looking bedraggled but still defiant, stood the Royal Navy's three premier C-class destroyers, Comet, Cygnet and Crescent, all of whom had friction and battle torn clothes stained with what was probably several days of filth and being dragged through the muck. Around them, most of the Sakura Empire ships stood watching.

"What the _hell_ do you think you were doing, Kaga?" yelled Inazuma, glaring at the larger shipgirl. "What sort of spike-backed bloodsucking cat fish crawled into your cunt that you ever thought kidnapping foreign destroyers and subjecting them to what looks like being hauled through the sewers was a good idea?" she asked, getting gasps from several of those watching at her language.

Kaga's white ears lay flat against her head as she snarled. "Like you would know anything? They stained my honour and yet they walk around like it was nothing! Worse, they corrupted at least one of our destroyers, the one that is standing in front of me!"

Comet snorted in disgust. "So you resorted to the same tactics you used to assault our allies, the Eagle Union, at Pearl?" she asked. "Some honour, Kaga. Akatsuki and Hiei dress the part of spies and assassins, but you have less honour than they do. Yes, we sunk you, your point is? All of us here have been sunk at least once because of this damned war, which you and your allies started!"

"That's Kirishima, Comet," Inazuma corrected, still watching Kaga. "She's right though, all of us have been sunk at least once and you don't see Shigure, Tone, Aoba or any of the others backstabbing a group of girls under a flag of truce for 'revenge', Kaga."

She looked around at the group. "Do you know what I found?" asked Inazuma. "When my sisters and I reached our usual meeting spot last week, we found it devoid of our contacts," she waved at the C-class girls. "So we figure, we're at war, things happen and it's possible that they got called for something or another. It makes sense, right?

"Of course _today_ , Kaga tells me to take some crap that's not even fit for worm food to a basement _I_ didn't even know about and guess who was in there, chained to the fucking wall, half buried in literal shit!" Inazuma glared at the white-haired carrier as her sisters moved towards her. "These are girls that, for all that they've sunk a number of us, haven't boasted about their kills around anyone that I've heard. Hell, I've heard _others_ comment on their abilities more than the three of them. They were also the ones to go with my sisters to find me when I ended up in the other world." She looked around the mess again, spotting more than a few dishes with cubefruit, phase lemons, oca ocas, carrots, odd onions or other foods she had grown. "Most of you are eating things we got from that other world we went to, things that I and my sisters have grown." She turned her glare back to Kaga. "Several of those things we didn't have when we first came back here, and I could easily be selling this bounty to the civilians and keeping the money for myself beyond what I gave my sisters or Yuugure for their help." She spotted a pair of black ears, which had been folding suddenly stand to attention.

She turned her attention back to the carrier once more. "I still might, between Kaga's honourless actions and Nagato's punishment for my sisters, even _after_ the people that they offended dealt with them." This time the glare was directed at the smaller, dark haired shipgirl. "I'm half tempted to see what would happen if someone released a tarr in here," she snapped, making her sisters and the C-class girls shiver, "or hell, any of the fucking mutated cretins and chaos borne cryptids that Devonport in the other world finds normal business!"

"I don't have to defend myself to a little destroyer," Kaga snarled. "I, who was once to be a battleship and converted into an aircraft carrier, am far above you, little girl. What I do is none of your concern."

Inazuma's eyes narrowed as she looked over at Nagato, who said nothing. "Then I'm done here," she said flatly. "I'm going to get these girls some decent clothes and a bath, then I'm selling any supplies that have been grown and closing the gardens down." She turned her head slightly. "Yuugure, I'll catch you later to discuss how much I owe for your working with me, but I won't work with someone like Kaga. Maybe another base will be willing to let me help out."

Having dropped that bomb, Inazuma turned and stalked out of the canteen, ignoring the shouts and screeches behind her as her sisters and the C-class destroyers followed her back to their dorm.


	156. Rule 10426

_Rule by Cedric_

 **10426\. The powers that be had given Fubuki a marriage ring, and it had gone missing, again.**

It was a completely normal day in Yokosuka naval base, Ooi chasing Kitakami, Enterprise sleeping in the coach after setting herself on fire again, Kiyoshino trying to become a battleship, and the Yubaris asking for budget to replicate the supergravity cannon of arp-Iona.

A completely normal day.

And then Ooyodo entered the command office carrying documents the base where assigned from high up.

Goto stopped his dismissal of all arguments why they needed such a weapon, to receive part of the documents.

"This one is for you Fubuki" Said Ooyodo handing her a few papers and a white box.

"for me?" ask while opening the box and then closing it violently.

"Something the matter?"

"Is a ring"

"…. oh"

"wa-wa-wa-why?! I don't have anyone I want to give it, I don't even like girls!"

"why you girls make such a big deal out of this, is just a power up, it didn't mean you have to get in a relationship with the girl you give the ring" said Goto "just look at what happen with my one, is not like a begun a relationship with worktown and end with Kongou …. –why are you girls looking me like that?"

"You are human; you don't understand"

"hey I have a solution; I just keep it myself, level 170 sounds nice"

"It wouldn't work" said Yubari. "the ring work by tying the soul of the ship girl to the soul of the admiral, so the ship girl can use more power without risking to lose her ontological inertia, that's why you can't pass it to some other admiral either, it is still tied to you." Finished the mad science girl.

"so I have to give it to someone, well it didn't matter how long I hold it, I just have to find someone that don't make a big deal of the ring and give it to her… wait, where is the other Yubari?"

There was only one Yubari in the office, and the other chair was already cold.

"She has been hanging around Aoba a lot lately… Sorry"

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

The day after that was very weird for the potato destroyer, it was like every ship girl was looking at her differently than normal, it was lunch time already and Yuudachi was coming closer to her

[is she?... she already knows, that dog eared fishing boat with big boobs…]

"Hey, Yuudachi" said Fubuki hiding her through and forcing a smile in her face. "what are you doing here?"

"eating like you?" said the girls raising an eyebrow "you look like even more tired than normal, what's going on in command?"

"don't worry is not that bad" said the vice admiral picking her food and walking to a table.

And then Shigure approached the table

[Another dog boat, they are surrounding me! And what's that braid of the death, she is trying to get me with her puppy eyes and motherly stile to make me fall for her out of pity]

"Fubuki-san, I was wondering if I could ask you a question?"

[you already have you…]

"sure"

"I want to go into officer's school and I wanted to see if you have any tips"

"Hey Fubuki! The soy sauce!"

"YEP" [WAIT, WHEN APPEAR KISARAGI, AND WHATS UP WITH HER SKIRT, IS SHORTER THAN USUAL, IS TRYING TO SEND PHEROMONES TOWARS ME! YOU WILL NEVER GET ME!]

"Fubuki are you Ok?"

"you are hyperventilating"

[oh no! there is more girls approaching me, they are like predators after my body, THERE IS EVEN MY MOTHER, I AM COMPLETELY SURROUNDED BY LESBIANS!]

YOU WILL NEVER HAVE MY BODY! Screamed the destroyer girl and run away like hell.

"Fubuki has snapped?" ask Goto.

"yeah, she has gone in a rampage, and her abyssal form is trailing her, stand style, we already called an exorcist, but we can't do anything to stop her, her stand had already decked Enterprise and the Yamato sisters."

"danm it, you tried sending Akagi?"

"she was the first one to fall"

"ugh, what hit me?" asked Shigure coming to her senses, the salon look like it was the place of a battle.

"what happen here?... oh I remember, Fubuki go ballistic for some reason… what is this?"

There was a ring in the floor.

"the one ring?"

Shigure decided put it in her finger to not lose it until she find the owner.

"Wow! What was that?!"

[ **you will never have me! I am not a lesbian I totally not a lesbian! Not a chance!]**

"Fubuki, stop"

[ **You will never stop me no matter who you are]** said the vice-admiral and then look at who was the brave enough to try to stop her.

[that's not a girl, that's a boy!]

[ **Lieutenant Yamashita!] [give me your hand!]**

The lieutenant was a brave man, but seeing an abyssalised ship girl running at full steam toward him drained his guts fasts, the guy tried to run, but it was no use, the girl was too fast, soon Fubuki had a hold on his arm and was putting a ring in his finger.

 **[BE MY WIFE!]**

Seeing he wasn't dead, the sailor dared to look what has the vice-admiral done to his hand, and noticed that his body heat was revealing an engraving in the ring she put in his finger.

"a ring to find them all and in darkness bind them… I need a safe word?"

The abyssal disappear from the girl in an instant.

"di-did I lose the real ring?" asked Fubuki patting her pockets for the small device.

"so… I am still your wife?"


	157. Rule 10211

**10211: To the group who turned off their GPS and ran off to Bermuda for an unauthorized vacation – Everyone has camera phones now, we've seen the beach pictures online, and you did** ** _not_** **disappear in the Bermuda triangle. Get back to base!**

 _Note from TheBudgiAdmiral_ This one is a rule written by KaiYves a while ago. She said it would fit well for a snippet. So I tried my Hand, and then completely forgot I had this lying around on my harddrive waiting to be published. It's not my best as I was sort of suffering from writers block when I wrote it, but I think it also is too good to just be forgotten.

...

Yahagi was shifting uncomfortably from one foot to the other as the US Navy battleship Massachusetts towered over her. What was she doing here. How important could that AA refit either way! She was miles away from any place she should be!

Really, she should just have stayed at home, in Yokosuka, where she knew everyone and where most of her friends were. But no, Providence's stellar performance and tales of AA excellence had enticed Admiral Goto to send his shipgirls to the US mainland for refit with allied AA emplacements. Conveniently, the day of the departure of Yahagi and Akagi coincided with a convoy leaving for the US mainland, and so the two were assigned as escorts. And after seventeen days of convoy escort, hunger and boredom, they had arrived at the mouth of the Panama Canal, where Massachusetts welcomed them with a stern gaze, crossed arms and dubious, judging silence.

A silence that was only broken by a loud rumble from Akagi's belly. Silently, Yahagi thanked the carrier for her immense appetite, or else this awkward silence could have gone on forever.

"I take it you two are hungry." The Battleship's voice was stern and dead-serious. Yahagi doubted that this woman had laughed once in her life.

"Yes, very!" Akagi immediately answered, clutching her growling belly. "It's been seventeen days since we had the last proper meal!"

The US battleship huffed at that, then turned on her heel and gestured for them to get in the car.

"There's a steakhouse in the town, I'll get you there."

...

After a veritable feast on good American comfort food, the two Japanese ships were led back to the water, where a group of other shipgirls were waiting. Plenty of destroyers of different types and the distinct shapes of two US cruisers were already on the water.

"Where are we going?" Akagi asked, confused.

"We'll make the trip on the water, that will give us an opportunity to do some basic drills while we're underway." Massachusetts responded.

"Aww man, I was hoping we could relax after the long voyage!" Akagi said, slightly unnerved at the prospect of spending more days at sea.

Massachusetts huffed again at the words. "One would assume a member of Japan's elite carriers would not mind such a voyage."

"She didn't say that!" Yahagi protested. "It's just that no one told us the plans!"

"Eh, just wait, maybe it won't be as bad as you think?" one of the cruisers interrupted. Looking at her hull number, Yahagi identified her as USS Fargo, CL-106.

"Fargo is right." Massachusetts said. "Besides, it's not like you could choose. You're under US Navy command now, and I am your commanding officer for this voyage. I assume you know what that means for you."

...

Certainly they did. And so, many hours later, the group was underway to Norfolk, doing some rudimentary drills underway. Beale had coordinated the drill, acting as a sort of judge and providing a sort of Dungeons-and-Dragons-style commentary to the whole thing, calling out fictive surface and sub-surface contacts.

As the fictive fighting calmed for a while, Massachusetts barked orders at the other shipgirls in the fleet. Fargo was scolded for her poor AA management, Akagi was derided for her poor anti-submarine work, and just when Yahagi thought the American battleship could not get more condescending, she turned to face the Japanese cruiser.

"Not bad, for a glorified destroyer at least."

Yahagi's fists clenched at her sides. This was just not fair! She was NOT a glorified destroyer! She may be undergunned in comparison to a Cleveland or a Mogami, but she was still a fighting ship! She had stood against overwhelming odds and she had lived to tell the tale! Neverthess, even tough she really would have liked to defend herself against this verbal abuse, she knew better than to start a fight with a superior on the first day of the assignment. That never ended well. And it really was just for a few days, after all.

Massachusetts fell back into place at the top of the formation, and the voyage resumed at fast pace. "Alright everyone, next exercise. Land bombardment. Disable your GPS and follow my lead."

Akagi perked up. "Disable the GPS? Why that?"

When Massachusetts didn't respond, Fargo moved closer to the carrier and gave her a cheeky smile. "It's a secret! You'll see soon enough."

...

"See? Told you you'd see!" Fargo said a few hours later. In front of the fleet, a decidedly picturesque island rose over the horizon. Even at this distance Yahagi could clearly see the lush forests that covered every spot on the mountain. As the group moved closer, secluded beaches came into view, sand as white as Hibiki's hair.

"What exactly are we doing here?" Yahagi turned to ask Massachusetts, only to see the mighty US battlewagon take off her vest and her shirt, tying it neatly around her waist. Yahagi couldn't help but admit that the woman was stunningly beautiful in her bikini, pronounced muscles working underneath a smooth, tanned skin.

"Land bombardment's delayed, we're going swimming." She declared stoically, causing a cheer to erupt from the fleetgirls around them as they stormed of towards the closest beach.

Soon, everyone had reached the sand, and quickly indulged in various beach-related activities. Fargo was playing with some of the destroyers in the water, Akagi was building a sand castle with two small flush-deckers, Massachusetts was sunbathing on her towel, and Yahagi was standing by the treeline, still amazed by the scene. She was also slightly annoyed that she hadn't brought her own swimsuit. She would have loved to take a swim in the crystal-clear water of the bay.

"Smile, Yahagi!" Akagi suddenly explained, threw an arm around her neck and smiled widely into the camera of her smartphone. Before Yahagi could protest, the camera clicked and flashed an image to the two shipgirls: One very happy Akagi and one distinctly confused Yahagi.

"What's that for?" Asked Yahagi.

"Oh, I'm just sharing a few pictures with Kaga. She's gonna be _so_ jealous!"

"Wait, you're posting this?" Yahagi yelled in shock.

A confused Akagi looked up from her smartphone. "Why not?"

"Because we're not exactly supposed to do this, you idiot!" Massachusetts shouted, making for the two Japanese kanmusu. "Why did you think we deactivated our transponders?"

Akagi looked sheepishly at the US battleship storming towards her. Yahagi thought to herself that a careful observer could see the dots connecting inside Akagi's head. Then, the carrier's face turned white.

"Oh, Massachusetts-sama, I made a blunder, didn't I?"

"Yeah, you could say that. Minus that weird 'sama'-part."

Akagi sighed deeply. "I am terribly sorry…"

"You should be." Massachusetts said as her satellite phone began to ring. Answering it, she moved to a more secluded part of the beach to take the brunt of the verbal tirade face-on.

"Ara ara, Yahagi-san, I fear I made a grievous error…" Akagi said quietly with her best imitation of a sad dog's face. It was truly heart-breaking.

"Yes, well, how bad can it be?"

Both turned their gazes onto Massachusetts tall back. She was frantically muttering "yessir"s into the phone and was seemingly interrupted repeatedly by whoever was on the other end of the line. The battleship seemed to physically shrink as the voice on the other end grew in volume until even Akagi and Yahagi could make it out at a distance of easily ten meters.

"We made an enemy today, didn't we?" Akagi asked her comrade as Fargo herded the Destroyers out of the water and back into gar and formation.

"Mhm." Yahagi nodded and bit back a curse.

"How regrettable, is what Kaga would say now…"

"What would you say?"

"Bollucks."

TBC?


	158. Rule 10507

_Rule by Grathryn_

 **10507\. Akatsuki-Sakura, first up how did you get hold of honey plort, secondly what possessed you to grind the whole thing and dose Kaga-Sakura's tea with it before a sortie?  
10507a. She was literally bouncing off the ceiling joists as she went out and then, spent the entire sortie attempting to kiss or get in the pants of the Eagle Union carriers. Yorktown-Eagle about scuttled herself in embarrassment and we're not sure whether it was for what happened when Kaga-Sakura caught up with her or empathetic embarrassment for Kaga-Sakura's… intoxicated state.  
10507b. "She deserved more than just embarrassment for what she did to our escorts to the other world." - Akatsuki-Sakura**

The Battle of Midway was going wrong in more ways than one, though it always ultimately went wrong for the Sakura Empire, normally that was the result of the Eagle Union having better carriers, better planes, better tactics and being able to sink the First Carrier Division. This time though, the Sakura Empire destroyers were out of position, their battle line was already confused, cruisers were far off target and their planes might as well have been cut in quarters and flying through a storm bank.

Inazuma frowned as she watched the scene unfold in front of her, her light blue pony tail and blue kimono flapping in the wind before she turned to her sister ships, and the Royal Navy's C-class destroyers and Javelin, arching and eyebrow at the mobile phones that both Akatsuki and Comet were holding up. "Somehow, Akatsuki, I get the feeling this is your doing. What did she do this time out?"

"She was in Queen Bitch mode again," Akatsuki replied, glancing at her younger sister. "The same as when we came back home five loops back." The comment made Cygnet flinch and both Crescent and Comet grimace at the memory.

"Does this happen often?" Javelin asked, grimacing at a yell from one of the Eagle Union destroyers as Yorktown and Kaga blew past her. "What the bloody hell is she trying to do anyway?"

Ikazuchi shifted slightly where she was floating. "Normally she just gets pissy after being summoned back if she's sunk, usually she'll either stay away or drink." She frowned as Yorktown hurled a depth charge she had apparently stolen from a destroyer at Kaga, the white kitsune-like carrier calling out her undying love moments before eating the explosive. "When we first went to that other world and came back she was particularly bad, which resulted in Comet, Cygnet and Crescent buried in literal manure… I think the stench put a few people off their food when Inazuma brought them into the mess hall." She shot her sister a look.

Inazuma nodded slightly. "I felt sick just being there," she admitted, "and I only ended up wading through it to release them." She sighed, reaching back to grab her pony tail to play with. "I just wish this would stop though…" she trailed off and shook her head to clear the memories of the last few loops, even if it was funny that only the eight of them knew about time repeating and all of them had been to that other world at least once, with Javelin being the newest. "Still, what did you do, Akatsuki?" she asked, wincing at the sound of metal crunching against metal as a couple of cruisers, one from each side, attempted to stop the carriers only to wind up slamming into one another. "That can't be good."

Akatsuki shrugged, turning to look at her sister out of her one eye. "She was being Queen Bitch again, meaning there'd be no way in Hell any of us could even _talk_ to someone away from base, much less someone from another nation, and if she got summoned after this…" she grimaced. "I would rather face Atlanta's guns at night again instead of sitting that one out, so I got one of those plort things the Wilders sell. One of the honey ones," she admitted.

That got the attention off all three of her sisters and all three C-class destroyers. "Please tell me you didn't use all of it," Hibiki prayed, only to groan and slump as Akatsuki rubbed the back of her head in embarrassment.

"No wonder Kaga is higher than a kite…" Crescent muttered before swatting Akatsuki around the back of the head. "You… you… **_IDIOT!_** Didn't you _listen_ to the girls on the other side? Eating one of those is like getting high on cocaine, opium, LSD and marijuana at the same time…" she trailed off with a look of dawning horror. "Oh god… all of those are stupidly addictive, what if Kaga winds up addicted to honey plort? What if it carries over?"

Cygnet grimaced, shuffling back behind her sisters, wincing at the sound of gunfire and explosions as someone tried to get the battle back on course. "She wouldn't even know where to get it a-and it's not like anyone would want to tr-try containing a honey slime in their hull."

Inazuma grimaced and shook her head rapidly. "No way, nu-uh," she denied, waving her hands. "I can keep seeds in my hull fine, even recipes, but I'm not having one of those things bouncing around inside me." She grimaced again as the other girls gained disgusted looks. "Besides, we don't even know if _living_ things like that would be affected by whatever it is that's resetting everything." Though they had figured out that the more time they spent around one another and the more around supernatural or people from the other world, or even better, both, the less they were affected by memory loss from the resets, which helped keep them alive in a few situations.

"Uh… girls?" asked Javelin. "I'm still lost here, remember? I only know we've been reset once, not the five times you recall, and I never went to that other world. How bad is this going to get?" she asked, waving at where Kaga had just glomped Yorktown and proceeded to snog the other carrier rather thoroughly.

Everyone else turned to stare at Akatsuki, who fiddled with her mask nervously. "W-well, I ground up a full plort… uh… about a pound and dissolved it in Kaga's tea." She flinched as her sisters and the C-class stared at her in awestruck horror.

"You know," Ikazuchi started, glancing over at where Hornet had pried Yorktown from Kaga's grip only to end up there in her place, "that might explain the chunks taken out of the joists in the carrier dorm when we were sent out." She looked at her masked sister. "You might want to avoid the base until… whatever happens," Ikazuchi said. "I don't think we're going to be able to save you from that." She pointed at Kaga.

"Sis… a pound of _sugar_ would have even Kaga bouncing, a pound of honey plort – and how the hell did she not notice the taste? – is far worse," Hibiki deadpanned.

The three C-class girls nodded only to grimace and wince as an off-key song started from the melee. A quick look over proved what they had already guessed, Kaga was the one singing, and trying to get what looked like Enterprise to join in. Most of the Sakura Empire and Eagle Union forces were too busy watching Kaga's display to fight one another.

A particularly off-key note had them all grimacing and looking back at the 'battle' to see that Kaga had swapped Enterprise for Yorktown, who was wearing a look on her face that said rather clearly 'please, shoot me now'. The octet shared a look as Kaga snogged Yorktown, this time reaching for places people don't want touched in public.

"I think… it's time we tried having a tour of the theatres, say in South Africa?" suggested Comet, getting nods from her sisters and the Akatsukis. Turning, she gave Javelin a push to get her started, the eight of them fleeing the scene.

* * *

Kaga groaned as she woke up, feeling nauseous and with everything aching, especially her head. Even the fur on her tails and ears ached. Eyelids flickering open, she groaned again.

"Ah, awake are you?" an American voice asked, making Kaga whimper. "Yes, well, that sort of thing happens when you do drugs, and you had a doozy of a drug in your system, young lady."

"Whu… what?" Kaga managed, forcing her eyes to focus on a young looking, fairly busty nun with long, very pale lilac hair "Wh-who?"

"I'm USS Vestal, as for what happened, well, after your display at Midway, which managed to render the whole battle moot as our girls captured practically your entire force while they were distracted," Vestal introduced herself, pulling a clipboard from somewhere and looking it over. "But yes, you, Miss Kaga, were drugged with something I've never seen before. Apparently it was in your system for at the very least a full day by the time you passed out at Midway, after attempting to force yourself on all three of our fleet carriers."

Kaga blinked several times blurred flashes of her attempting to sing, of running over a destroyer, of forcing her tongue into another's mouth flickered through her mind's eye, causing her to whimper as she flopped back.

Vestal nodded slightly at the pleading look the carrier sent at her before reading a bit further and blinking herself. "Tell me, Miss Kaga, do you often eat sweet things? Because according to the notes I have here, your urine smelled sweet enough that they actually did a blood sugar test, you had over ten millimoles per litre, and this was after you arrived here, I'd hate to think how high it was at the start of the battle."

Flinching, Kaga whimpered. "Th-the only thing I remember having is m-my tea, which was a bit sweet but…" Grimacing, she pushed herself up. "W-was there a destroyer in the fleet that was captured?" she asked. "Sh-she would have been wearing a half mask with an onii horn and a kunoichi?" When she got a head shake from Vestal, she flopped back with a groan. "Akatsuki must've dosed me with something… I…" She trailed off with a grimace. "I only remember yelling at her about something before her bringing sweet tea then… flashes."

* * *

"Well?" asked Enterprise as Vestal entered the carriers' dorm. "Did you find out what happened?"

Vestal frowned as she took a seat without it being offered. "Not much I'm afraid, and at least some is… strange. I can tell you that she drank some sort of drugged tea before the Midway, given to her by one of the destroyers with her. As for the drug?" she looked up at Enterprise. "I honestly have no idea, her blood sugar was still over ten, several days after the incident, and the blood sample I got a report on…" she tossed a file onto the table. "Well, you can read it yourself, but to summarise, she was effectively having a cocaine, LSD, opium and marijuana trip at the same time as a massive sugar high. I'm surprised she managed to function enough to even _get_ to the battle, much less anything else, she should have been curled up in their dorms drooling and muttering about pretty colours."

Enterprise scowled, picking up the report and flicking through it, trying to parse the technical language used. "So you're saying we have to treat this as something like sailors in port?" she asked, getting an annoyed screech from Grim. "That doesn't help when Yorktown is unlikely to be able to sail again after this."

Vestal sighed, rubbing the bridge of her nose. "I don't know what to tell you, E, except that with this, well, at least Yorktown is likely to be safe for the rest of the war and the Sakura Empire is well on the back foot from losing so many ships in such a strange way." She shifted, looking up as Hornet came in from the other room. "I don't know what I can do about minds, particularly given what you've both said about Kaga's behaviour and how much of it Yorktown received. I can tell you that a destroyer by the name of Akatsuki was likely the instigator of this, and it's possible, or even probable that it was a one off, otherwise it would have been used already."

"So what do we do now?" Hornet asked, adjusting her hat. "I mean, how do we fix Yorktown after this? Come to that, how do we find this Akatsuki girl?"

"Well, with Yorktown, probably the best thing you can do is make sure you're there for her," Vestal replied frowning. "I've heard from the human doctors that having people around helps, sometimes it even brings people back, if you keep things to normal and include her, she may get better on her own. If not…" she trailed off and took a deep breath, letting it out only to be cut off by the door opening again to reveal Yorktown wearing pyjamas.

"If not scrap me?" Yorktown asked. "Is that where that was going?"

Vestal shook her head. "No! But if you didn't recover, someone would need to look after you while they were away."

Yorktown grunted, moving to grab a seat and picking up the folder on the desk. "So, this IJN Kaga was the one that attacked me?" she asked, getting a nod. "And she was drugged out of her mind?" Another nod caused Yorktown to grunt. "Huh, guess I can't hold that against her, if she was that far gone. This Akatsuki girl though, I want to talk to her, if only to find out why she drugged her carrier and what it was with."

"The last she was seen, she was with her sisters and four Royal Navy destroyers heading south west, towards Africa, but that was days ago, so it'll take time to find her again, and no doubt the rest of her fleet would want words with her over her actions as well," Vestal said, getting nods from the other carriers. "I've passed it up the chain so hopefully command will ask the Royals to keep an eye out, their ships going rogue along with four Sakuran? Something's up, but it's not something we're likely to find out."

* * *

DesDivSix walked up the dock at Yokosuka after returning from their first patrol of the loop for the seventh time that they remembered only to run into Kaga standing at the top watching them.

"We need to talk," Kaga said flatly, waving them past her. "Starting with why time seems to be repeating and what the hell I did to you that made you drug me, Akatsuki?" she stated, giving the kunoichi a glare. "Particularly since from what USS Vestal said, if I had been human, I probably would have died of an overdose."

The quartet shared a look and gulped. This was going to be a very long discussion.

* * *

NB: Just as a quick note here, in Azur Lane the Sirens, the ones behind most of what we're aware of, have the ability to muck with time, at least in _their_ universe, the way Winds-verse runs is that they're one faction of a group that includes the Abyssals and Neuroi (Strike Witches), each limited to certain abilities within the universe(s) they affect, without being able to cross into one another's territory. Winds/Sakura-Inazuma & co visited Winds/KC-Devonport a few rules back in 10414, 10424 and 10463-10465, which started knocking her out of the sirens' effects to some degree. She can still get time reset, but she remembers similar to the Loopers ala the Infinite Loops. The more that people are around others effected or around things from outside, the better they can remember other loops, of course some things affect more than others, so Kaga ODing on honey plort… she's now 'loop aware'. That doesn't mean they're capable of over powering the upper tier sirens, just that they're aware of siren bullshittery.


	159. Rule 10564

_Rule by the great Falkeno_

 **Rule 10564. A reminder to all personnel, you must keep in mind that just because it may be a public holiday, it isn't the only thing on the calendar.**

It was a cold evening in Scapa Flow as nine of the 10 Towns made their way across the base, which was currently well into celebrating 's day, judging by the number of drunks staggering around. But the Town's weren't there for that; their journey was of a more personal reason, one that everyone else had seemed to forget.

"I can't believe people forgot!" Liverpool seethed as she led the other members of her class down a side street, dodging drunk men and women as she went. "I mean come on, she's the only one of us left for fuck's sake! At least they could remember her launch day!" she continued angrily. It was no secret amongst the Towns that Liverpool looked up to Belfast, being that the two were the sole survivors of their sub-classes respectively.

"Calm down Liv, there's no point crying over spilled milk!" Sheffield cautioned as she followed Liverpool into one of the base's residential buildings, with the rest of their sisters following behind them. Every one of them was feeling awkward: none of them had bought gifts for their sister, but in their defence, none of them knew what to buy for her. Booze would have been an easy option, but they didn't like the amount that she drank normally and had elected to try and curtail her drinking, even if she couldn't get drunk. Finally, though they reached the door they needed, and after taking a moment to compose themselves, Liverpool knocked on the door.

"It's open," Belfast stated from inside, prompting Liverpool and the others to enter. They found Belfast lying on her bed reading a book, with Frankenstein and Henry, Scapa Flow's Kitten and Puppy mascots, curled up next to each other at her feet.

"Happy Birthday, Bel!" they chorused, prompting a few excited barks from Henry, a yawn from Frankenstein, and a confused look from Belfast, which immediately caught Liverpool's, Sheffield's, and the other 'level-headed Town's attention. The only ones who didn't notice were Edinburgh and Southampton, who were too busy trying to hold back tears to notice.

"Our little sister is older than all of us, they grow up so fast!" Southampton commented as tears began leaking down her face, as she stood next to an equally teary Edinburgh.

"I know, we've missed so much!" Edinburgh agreed as she tried to wipe the tears out of her eyes, as Belfast let out a deep sigh.

"Wait, aren't you excited Bel? It's your Launch day, you're 81 years old for christ sake!" Newcastle asked as she tried to fend off exited licks from Henry, whilst glancing at Birmingham who was dealing with a surprisingly cuddly kitten.

"No, not really, I've had enough of them for my taste," Belfast replied as she closed the book before getting up. "I don't know why you're making such a fuss, I don't care about my birthday," she continued, earning surprised looks from her sisters. No one they had met had ever not cared about their birthday. Even Victory enjoyed hers, and she was nearly 260 years old! However, before anyone could push the issue, Belfast's phone buzzed, indicating she had a text. Belfast quickly opened it, only to let out an even deeper sigh. "Urgh, Collingwood wants a word with me and wants to meet me in the canteen, probably to talk about the food we've been getting recently," Belfast explained as she grabbed her jacket and turned to leave. Chats like these were nothing new, and despite not being the Royal Navy's poster girl, Belfast was one of the few people the politicians would listen too. However, her sisters, insulted that Collingwood was ordering Belfast around on her birthday, decided to follow, with the intent of giving the Admiral a mouthful, with Newcastle and Birmingham bringing Henry and Frankenstein along with them, having given up on fighting the attention seeking animals. But as they entered the canteen, they found that the lights were switched off, but before Belfast could ask what the hell was going on, the lights sprang to life, followed by a chorus of voices.

"SURPRISE!" the crowd shouted as Belfast was dogpiled by the multiple forms of Scapa's destroyers, leaving her sisters standing in shock as they tried to work out what was happening.

"What, did you think we'd forgotten?" Collingwood explained as he and several others noticed the confusion on the other Towns faces.

"Come on, we'd never forget Bel's birthday!" Vanguard added before she turned her attention back to Belfast, who had just managed to escape the mass of bodies that had been pinning her to the floor, only to see that every shipgirl and most of the human personnel in Scapa were present; even some of the German shipgirls were there.

"I hate my birthday," Belfast mentally sighed, before putting on a brave face as countless shipgirls advanced to wish her a happy birthday.


	160. Rule 6165

_Rule by Grathryn_

 **6165\. If a strange house appears out of nowhere or you get a 'new mansion' from a competition you didn't enter, call the local authorities, don't investigate it yourself.  
6165a. What do you mean Jones and the Z- and W- classes found one near Coventry and went inside? - Collingwood  
6165b. Of course they did, at least they have supernatural abilities, nobody else does. - Glenn  
6165c. Yeah, bout that mansion, Commander? It was haunted up the wazoo. Lots of nasty spooks in there, it's clear now, should stay that way as well - Zephyr**

With as much supernatural and magical mess as shipgirls encountered or created on a daily basis, it should have been no surprise to anyone that sooner or later the supernatural would start actively looking for them, something that had resulted in several explosions and spooked some of the girls, so the supernatural started being subtle, it thought.

The first reports of shipgirls winning various mansions had been met with shock, and in some cases joy, at least until those mansions were found ruined. Akebono was still cursing on the shipgirl occupied forums, calling everything from her clothes to the mansion to her commander 'shitty', not that it was a surprise to anyone that knew the girl. That Shigure, Myoukou, Shiranui, Chitoise, Imuya and Goya from Japan, Iowa, Intrepid and what seemed like half the Fletchers from the States and both Ark Royal and Hood from Britain were all swearing blind that they had the same thing happen to them was enough that the joint admiralty was wary of seeing any more of those particular notices.

So, when one spring day, when Emma Davies, the shipgirl HMS Wizard found a letter in the mail box for what was affectionately called 'the Ranch' or 'the Farm', where she lived with the other girls that made up the Wilders, the young looking redhead did the sensible thing and called Commander Glenn followed by Megan Jones, the twin sister to Sally Jones, HMS Zephyr about it.

* * *

Lauren frowned as she read over the notice Emma had brought in, both her nieces, Emma, Susan Wright or HMS Minotaur and Angela Kilburn, the incarnation of Devonport itself. The notice itself was fairly standard, congratulating the recipient on winning a mansion in a competition along with pictures of the presumed mansion and an address, nothing out of the ordinary, except for the spate of similar notices being sent to shipgirls.

"You're sure this is another one of those notices, Wizard?" Lauren asked.

Emma nodded. "Yes, ma'am," she replied, fiddling with a moon shaped stress ball. "The magazine it's from is something that doesn't exist in the UK, at least not that I could find on a quick search, it has my ship name, which while not hidden, especially around here, isn't something I'd use for a competition and it's an address near Coventry, over two hundred miles north of here." She shifted slightly. "Why would I attempt to get a mansion that far away? It's not like I've got any reason to go there normally." She shrugged. "If anywhere, I would have gone for here since this is where I live, or York, where my parents live."

Taking the notice from her aunt, Megan frowned at it. "It looks pretty close to the scans from the ones that Iowa, Shigure and the others received, but that could be that it's a form notice or a standard template," she said, turning it over. "Still, I don't like that it came essentially out of nowhere." Reaching under her blouse, she gripped the medallion that allowed her to transform, feeling it heat against her hand as her eyes started to glow blue. A few moments later, she placed the notice on the desk, looked up at her aunt and nodded. "It's definitely supernatural," she said, the glow fading from her eyes, "Probably the same sort or source as the ones that have the admiralty in a kerfuffle."

Lauren nodded slowly, frowning in thought. "As much as the admirals are adamant about nobody else getting involved in one of these, we need someone that can evaluate what is going on and hopefully prevent it from happening again." She shifted her attention to her computer, tapping out a few commands on it and reading the results. "Megan, I know you're a Karas, so the most in tune with the supernatural, is Ly listening in?" she asked her niece, getting a nod. "I'm going to need you to go, but we need to know if you can."

There was the sound of air being let out of a balloon before a younger girl with light blue hair faded into existence, pulling a Cheshire Cat in bringing certain parts through out of sync with the rest. "I'm sure, Laure, that I told you and Kenny more than once that while I've been more focused on Plymouth, technically I cover represent everything in the area west of the Gloucester/Southampton line, including both Dartmoor and Exmoor." She gave an amused snort. "Even got some of the Cotswolds and New Forest in there, and with the mess the abyssals are making, I'll probably need some people under Megan to cover the areas." The yurine shrugged, reaching up to adjust her flat cap. "There's a reason why Megan could fight abyssals without taking much from me, at least the weaker ones for now, if she needs to be able to work in the Midlands, she'll be able to. _Unlike_ certain others, I don't see a point to limiting my reach or hers with threats of this calibre around."

Lauren nodded, not bothered by the fact the yurine had appeared right in her office. "That's one thing then… Emma, you're going to have to go, if this is for you, we're going to need you there." She frowned thoughtfully. "Susan, can you and Blake act as 'caretakers' for the girls?" she asked, getting a nod from the woman. "Thank you, Megan's going to be the lead on this one once you reach the mansion, but if you can watch them outside. I also want Sally and Helen with you for backup, particularly since Sally knows a bit more about supernatural than anyone beyond her sister."

She gave her nieces a look. "Before you go, I'm opening the vault, if it is supernatural; I'd rather that you have something you can use to fight them without demolishing everything in sight." She got nods from both girls.

* * *

"So," Sally said, looking up at the five storey mansion in front of them, one with blacked out windows and iron gates. "Creepy mansion with no records in the local town hall and this spot was empty up until a few days ago, if that doesn't scream haunted, I don't know what does."

Megan nodded as she looked up at the building. "Kinda reminds me of the Luigi's Mansion game, the one on the GameCube," she commented, "what with the whole competition wins out of nowhere and mansions like that." She looked over at Helen and Emma. "Okay, so since we didn't have enough gear for all six of us to go in, initial game plan is that the four of us go in as a group and stick together as much as possible." She gave the other two destroyer girls a look. "Worst case, try to stick with the two of us and be ready for spooks to appear from any angle. Susan and Blake are going to act as control for us, but we might wind up without comms inside."

The pair nodded, quickly checking their Great War period pistols. "We sure these will work on ghosts?" Emma asked as she loaded her pistol.

"They worked on zombies, but I've no idea on ghosts," Sally replied. "Hopefully though, they have been blessed and the bullets are a mix of silver nitrate and rock salt, which are common things to off supernatural."

Megan gave her sister an arch look before turning to the Wilders. "What my sister means is they should forcibly disperse a ghost if they work, since ghosts are generally dead beings… well, killing them is kinda out of the question." She shrugged, pulling her amulet from around her neck. "The ofudas we found should forcibly exorcise some of them, and it's possible some will be things we can interact with due to us being what we are." Focusing for a moment, her amulet glowed before reforming into a Colt 1911 handgun.

Sharing a look between them, the quartet advanced towards the door.

* * *

Shoving the door shut, Megan snorted, shaking her head. "Well, we're not going in there, though how in the blue hells did they manage to link to the Tennessee Derby?"

"Creepy supernatural space bending bullshit apparently," Emma replied, blinking her eyes clear. "I mean, seriously, we get split up from Sally and Helen, wind up in a passage filled with doors that go nowhere and everywhere, and there's no way in hell that a three hundred foot long corridor fits in a thirty foot wide mansion without some serious space bending bullshit."

"Well, I suppose it's better than that funky arse sanatorium where the inmates had broken out and were apparently trying to break their skulls," Megan muttered, moving to another door and opening it, breathing a sigh of relief on finding this one led somewhere useful, namely some sort of library. "Okay, maybe now we can find something useful," she muttered, stepping into the room with Emma, only for the door to slam shut behind them and some sort of headless, horned humanoid in green underwear to jump out of the ground at them with a shriek.

Both girls snapped their pistols up, putting several rounds into the creature, dropping it just as quickly as it had appeared.

The next spirit went down just as quickly when it tried to jump scare Megan from behind.

"Well, this is getting annoying," Megan muttered, dropping the clip from her pistol and replacing it. "Anything useful amongst that lot?" she asked.

"Nothing so far, well, apart from a map," Emma replied, holding up a roll of parchment. "We should be able to co-ordinate with the others a bit better if they're in the same area at least."

Nodding as she made her way over, Megan checked her phone. While the GPS was off, they could still contact the other girls on them oddly enough.

* * *

Ignoring the insane laughter of the spirit or whatever the hell it was in front of her, Megan pushed herself back to her feet, bracing them as she felt her weight shift. In all honesty, she was exhausted, particularly given how many creepy rooms and spirits they had to clear, some of them repeatedly.

"Hah, I have succeeded! Where others failed, I have brought shipgirls to their knees before me! Where such as they belong," the voice sent claws of ice down her spine as the thing… she wasn't sure _what_ it was apart from supernatural, continued to laugh. "Oh ho, what's this? Some little girl still thinks she can challenge me in my own domain?"

Gritting her teeth, Megan glanced at her friends, all three of whom were pinned to the ground by something before looking back at the spectre. "Think?" she asked, holding her hand out. "I don't think, arse wipe, I know," she continued, her pistol shifting back into its amulet form and leaping to her hand.

The eye opened as soon as it was in her grip, unleashing a blazing golden light, a moment later golden feathers appeared from the air, floating down to settle on Megan and transforming into blue, raven themed armour.

The creature waved a hand, sending a wave of ghosts at Megan. "Bah, a simple crow won't be any more effective than the shipgirls," it growled menacingly.

"Talk is cheap," Megan snarled in response, using her sword to slice every ghost that came at her in twain.

Disappearing for a moment, she reappeared right in front of the spectre, sword already blurring in a powerful slash to remove its arm.

Hopping away as it howled in pain, bringing down some of the ceiling, she landed and focused. Shadows burst out of her body as the area went white, a blood red moon rising and growing to full.

The shadows burst into full form, an enormous raven covering the ground with Megan at the centre just before she blitzed forwards, slashing repeatedly as she reached the spectre.

Leaping away as it howled in pain, she sheathed her blade, turning her back on the being as it burst into particles of light.

* * *

"Yeah, bout that mansion, Commander?" asked Sally, leaning against the side of the mansion. "It was haunted up the wazoo. Lots of nasty spooks in there, it's clear now, should stay that way as well."

Megan snorted softly, looking up from where she was getting checked over by Susan. "It bloody well better stay clear," she grumbled, "Took us several days' worth of time to get to that git of a spectre, much less anything else."

Sally nodded as she hung up the phone, slipping it into her pocket. "Well, the RNPs can sort the mess out now, we're to head back to Devonport and report in." She looked up at the place. "Apparently things are considered bad enough that it's an official ruling by the Joint Admiralty Board, no shipgirl or member of the navy is to go into one of these again." She shrugged and stretched. "Can't say I'm surprised, damned magnets or whatever it was, it feels like my hull's cracked in more than a few places."

* * *

Old rule of mine finally written up. Just so you're aware:  
Lauren = Commander Lauren Glenn  
Megan = Megan Jones  
Sally = Sally Jones/HMS Zephyr  
Susan = Susan Wright/HMS Minotaur  
Blake = Blake Raikes/HMS Blake  
Emma = Emma Davies/HMS Wizard  
Helen = Helen Kerr/HMS Kempenfelt


	161. Rule 7358

_Rule by Grathryn._

 **7358\. We don't know who did it, but whoever you are, you're in trouble… lots of trouble  
7358a. Whatever you dust you tossed around at the Devonport Inn in Plymouth affected destroyers. Be very glad nothing bad happened.  
7358b. Commodore Glenn is looking for a new test subject for her spells, and after that she's said you're all Raven's  
7358c. Tenryuu is also… unimpressed by how your dust made DesDiv6 act  
7358d. Why? You managed to make DesDiv6, half of the 10th Emergency Destroyer Flotilla (Z-class) and several American shipgirls act like dogs and cats, some more affectionate than others. Be glad it wasn't other types of affection; else you'd be in more trouble, if that's possible**

Sally sighed as she leaned back in a booth at the Devonport Inn in Plymouth. It was, for her at least; honestly good to be home, granted more than half the Hurricane Recovery Team Alpha, being in Britain was well away from their home waters, but on the other hand at least they had actual time off now, after four major storms in a row.

"You look like you're about done with everything there, Zephyr," the voice made her look over at one of her booth mates from the group – the rest were spread around the inn, since they had pretty much taken it over for the evening – and arch an eyebrow at USS Nicholas, she still didn't know the girl's real name.

"I'm surprised you aren't considering you're basically the military leader for the US fleet elements we had with us," Sally commented dryly. "Well, what you couldn't dump off onto Kaylie after that mess with the abyssal fleet trying to take Houston." That particular brawl had been a rough fight, right up until the Japanese; British and American fleet reinforcements had managed to join in, with several airdropping from the British group. After Drake had managed to get himself stuck on a sandbar or island somewhere trying to intercept the abyssal in old sea-frames from the early part of the war and gotten most of his contingent killed while doing crap all damage – the planes and missiles from the carrier/LHD combined task group and their escorts had done most of the damage – the shipgirls had devolved leadership to her, Nicholas and Tenryuu as the highest ranked of those still around for their respective contingents.

"I'm surprised she didn't try to dump it on you, particularly given you were leading fine up until we found out about that fleet," Kaylie commented, sipping from her drink. "You know, this feels a lot better than last time the two of us were in a British pub."

Nicholas turned to her sister ship with an arched eyebrow. "What had happened last time you were in a British pub, Willie?"

"Fletcher. Volley. Supreme." Kaylie answered before nodding at the grimace on Nicholas' face. "Sally, Robyn, Kimberly and I went out to drink away the memories… well, Kimberly and I did, the other two were more local guides since I don't know my way around Plymouth well enough to find the destroyer dorms while drunk and as I mentioned before, Sally and I knew one another before we awoke as shipgirls. It was the pair's comments that did lead to me finding out about the fact MSSB giving us Mk15s though."

Sally snorted in amusement. "I'm still surprised you never ended up running escort to Devonport and looking me up before my awakening and Robyn showing up," she commented dryly.

Kaylie shrugged, taking a sip from her drink. "I'd only really been active myself a few months, maybe a year, before you and most of that was training and such, I didn't really get any proper sorties or escorts until after we'd found out about you and you'd actually come to us to train up."

"True enough," Sally replied, a grin quirking her lips before she looked up as someone else sat down. "Hey, Mutsuki, I thought you'd be hanging out with the rest of the Japanese group tonight, what brings you to our table?" she asked the green skirted destroyer.

"Needed a break from Kisargi for a bit," Mutsuki replied with a sigh. "She's my sister and all, but she gets a bit much, especially when you're stuck with her most of the time for months. Especially since she's been drinking and was going on about lewd things, which I really, really hope is the drink talking."

Sally arched an eyebrow at the other girl. "That bad, huh?" she asked, getting a nod in response. "Eh…" she shrugged one shoulder. "As long as she doesn't try forcing it on anyone, if someone wants to listen to her, then that's their choice." She looked up as one of the waiters who worked at the Inn came around with large plates of food.

"I noticed one member of your party has moved," the man said, "is Miss the young lady who ordered the scallops?" he asked Mutsuki.

Mutsuki nodded, "that's right," she agreed.

"The coarse pork and peppercorn?" he asked. Nicholas held a hand up in response, getting a plate put in passed to her, "And the second coarse pork?" This time Sally raised her hand. "Lastly I have the Devon red rib-eye steak."

"That one's mine," Kaylie said, taking the plate when it was offered to her.

"Do any of you want a refill?" on all four of them shaking their heads, he nodded. "Then, enjoy your meals, ladies."

The quartet did, at least until the door to the inn burst open to reveal a haggard looking person so wrapped up in clothes that it was impossible to tell anything about them, even their height or build.

* * *

Feeling her bed shift, Sally cracked open an eye to look over at the silhouette crawling into bed with her. Not an unusual situation considering her sisters were destroyer girls and her twin had a submarine girl as a girlfriend. A quick IFF query from her radar room got her an ID, USS Nicholas. "Nick?"

She didn't get an audible response, instead Nicholas butted her head against Sally's shoulder before circling around a free part of the bed on her hands and knees and flopping over, causing the springs to creak. "Great… ship animal girl…" Sally groaned tiredly. The last time something like this had happened it had been when Fubuki had turned wolf, or was that the incident with Yuudachi and the ball game? Muttering something under her breath, Sally shifted around as much as she could and buried her face in her pillow. She was far too tired to deal with her companions acting like animals.

It didn't help that she'd already gotten this same treatment from Argo already, who was currently sprawled across her legs like a puppy, and DesDiv6 were acting more like a bunch of puppies piled up than normal. She sighed, yawned and grunted as Argo's head settled in the small of her back. At least animal affection would be less of an issue than mating lust, she decided as she drifted off to sleep again.

* * *

A squawk followed rather quickly by a thump brought her back out of the land of dreams. Blinking, Sally raised her head, looking around for a moment before looking over the side of her bed. "Morning, Nick," she greeted, yawning. "I'm guessing whatever was making you act like a mute animal has worn off."

"W-what happened?" Nick asked, looking up from where she had fallen. "I didn't go to bed here."

Sally shrugged slightly. "Best guess, delayed effect from something at the Devonport. I think you, Argo and some of the others ended up caught in some sort of dust cloud when someone decided to be an idiot. Whatever the stuff was, it made you act more like a dog than a human. You came in here and stole part of my bed, but that was about it. I think I saw 'Biki and Inazuma having a bit of a growl fest before Tenryuu dug out some newspaper." She shifted, kicking her legs carefully in the air behind her since she could still feel Argo's weight against her back.

Nodding, Nicholas stood slowly, groaning as her vision spun, causing her to weave on her feet for a moment before she felt Sally catch her arm to steady her. "I… don't think it's worn off fully. Last time I felt like this was when someone was using those hell bears. That's with me getting lucky and only getting one." She shook her head, eyes closed.

"Well, you're not bolting for the loo like then, though I still don't know how those caused that," Sally commented before shifting herself out from under Argo and letting the cutter hug one of the pillows on the bed so she could get up herself. "I mean they don't seem to affect normal humans, but anyone supernaturally mechanical…?" she shrugged, shaking her head.

* * *

Coming downstairs, the first thing the two destroyer girls encountered on entering the lounge was DesDiv Six wearing night clothes, at bay from several of the Zulus, namely Hazel, Robyn, Lydia and Amaya or Zambesi, Zenith, Myngs and Zealous as they were known. All eight were growling like angry dogs or hissing like annoyed cats on opposite sides of the room, with all the furniture tipped over from the previous night.

Sally slapped her forehead and groaned in frustration at seeing her sister ships were still acting animalistic. "Bloody barnacles boiled in brine…" she groaned before taking a breath. "Hazel! Robyn! Lydia! Amaya! Gina! Ren! Valeriya! Shina! Down!" she snapped at them, only for the eight of them to turn on her with a growl. Cocking her head, Sally arched an eyebrow at the lot of them, not impressed. "I can always give you all a firehose shower, girls," she pointed out. The response was another set of growls from the group. Shaking her head, Sally sighed, starting to make her way towards the door leading outside.

She had just about managed to unlock it and open it when Lydia leapt at her. Hearing Nicholas' yell, she turned, grabbed Lydia by the front of her tiger print onesie and dropped onto her back, kicking the brunette in the stomach as she launched her into the garden.

Continuing her roll, and grimacing at rolling over the step, Sally was back on her feet in time to meet the twins, Gina and Ren, or Inazuma and Ikazuchi, both of whom tried to grab one of her wrists and were thrown backwards as she dropped to a knee and shifted her arms around in a circle.

Shina and Valeriya followed their sister shipgirls courtesy of Nicholas hurling them over Sally's head, the white blond Valeriya landing atop Ren while Shina slammed purple haired head first into Gina, sending all four back into a heap of tangled limbs.

A quick glance behind her had Sally smirking before she turned to face Robyn. Even animalistic, Zenith was probably going to be the one that took the most to take down if not taken off guard. Frowning, Sally narrowed her eyes as Nicholas sent Amaya and Hazel into the heap. "C'mon, Robyn, do ya want to end up on the streets again?" she asked. "Because I doubt people will approve of you being a pet."

The question brought Robyn up short, making her blink and shake her head a few times before with a hiss and a whoosh, she was hit with a stream of water from the garden hose, "Gah~ack! H-hey!" she exclaimed, coughing as water blasted into her face, thoroughly soaking her. As she raised her arms, the stream was switched lower, spraying her down for a minute before being turned on the group behind Sally, all of whom protested strenuously.

* * *

"Seriously, did you have to spray us with a garden hose, nanodesu?" Gina asked, glaring at Nicholas through a curtain formed of her still wet brown hair as she and the others sat, wrapped in towels, in the Zulus' kitchen.

Nicholas shrugged, looking up from her toast. "Considering you were still acting like dogs and cats, Inazuma? Yes, yes I did, or did you want to be taken out for a walk on a lead?"

Gina went to respond, only to feel Sally tap her head. "Don't," said Sally, looking between them. "Just seriously, don't, especially since I'm fairly sure some of this is that we've been stuck on one mission for practically half a year, not even getting into some of the _other_ crap from it." She sighed as she took the remaining spot at the table and rested her head on her hands. "The Crushers are looking into what happened, hopefully someone will have managed to track whoever the hell it was decided to crash things last night."

"Crushers?" asked Shina, echoing what was in the thoughts of all five non-locals.

"Royal Navy Police, the Regulators or Crushers depending on who you ask," Robyn responded, wincing as rubbed her forehead. "Kinda surprised they didn't get involved last night."

Sally shrugged. "Apparently it was considered civilian since most of us weren't actively showing we were shipgirls or showing military ID. The fact that it _looked_ like there was only stone dust thrown around and ruined drinks and meals means that the police were looking for someone, but we were allowed to go home and sleep things off. We're probably going to get a visit once we're on base, if they don't come here."

* * *

Laughing to herself, the Abyssal Destroyer Princess that called herself Zafiya rolled on her back, turquoise eyes closed to slits as she imagined all the issues the local shipgirls would be having right about now.

It had been pure luck she had heard them saying they were going to have a night out last night, much less that she had managed to get her hands on some drugs from wherever it was the Big Boss abyssal had come from. According to the Others, it wouldn't affect humans, but it would affect shipgirls and make them act strange.

Zafiya snorted again, grinning as she recalled a few days ago when she had used it on that absolute berk of a Ri-class in the North Sea. If shipgirls reacted anything like that feather wood, grass eating ice monkey had, then they were probably getting into all sorts of trouble with the coppers, which would serve the Kraut lovers right.

A crash from above brought her head up, making her blink and cock it. Hearing the thuds of metal boots on wood, she scrambled to her feet. Someone knew where she was, she needed to get out of here, fast.

Starting for the door, she quickly skidded to a stop as it was booted in by what looked like a knight in blue, raven themed armour, a massive, neon blue cat stalking behind her.

"Nope!" yelped Zafiya taking in the pistol and sword the knight held. Spinning on the spot and running for the other door. Looking over her shoulder as she burst through it, she laughed at the knight. "Hah ha! Too slow… woah!" Turning back, she barely had the time to realise that there was a black haired woman right in her path.

Even pulling her full weight, she kept going, only to slam to a stop as if someone had just dropped a cruiser on her. Looking up, she blinked then flinched with a whimper as she realised the woman she had nearly run over now had glowing, dragon like armour over her body, including flaming wings and eyes burning with bright flame.

Now she recognised the woman, and every instinct screamed at her to run, run and never look back.

"We need to talk, abyssal," Lauren growled, fingers tightening painfully on Zafiya's shoulders. "Starting with just why you decided it was a good idea to attempt to drug my niece," she continued.

Zafiya looked around for some way to escape. Seeing none, she quickly summoned her rigging only for pain to explode from her sides as a blade sliced it off her. Eyes widening, she looked around to see the raven knight from earlier right behind her. Looking back, she swallowed hard, seeing no mercy in either the glowing blue of the raven knight, or Commodore Glenn's flaming ones. "M-mommy…"


	162. Shenanigans 1

**Roaming_Guardian said:**

 _Do we really need shipgirl vets? Aside from the rare exceptions like Grim Reaper who represents a fighter squadron, all shipgirl pets would be normal animals handled by normal, human vets._

 _You could argue the rensouhou need taking care of beyond normal shipgirl repairs, but since those are turrets and not animals a repair ship like Akashi can handle them._

I don't think we need any shipgirls specifically being vets, though those with animals could pick up some knowledge of their behaviours and how to treat/handle them when they're not on top form. I can see several Devonport girls picking up some knowledge just through osmosis, though that doesn't mean they're qualified to treat other animals.

* * *

 **Cedric said:**

… _Ooi will try to gift herself bathed in chocolate to Kitakami and be rejected anyway…_

 **The Budgie Admiral said:**

 _I love this mental image. Thank you. Might even make this a rule and write something for it._

I blame you two for this. No rule number, just a scene spawned from comments. If anyone wants to try coming up with a rule, I can add it in.

 _By Grathryn_

* * *

Valentine's Day was always interesting, particularly around the various shipgirl bases, as people panicked and attempted to find that ideal gift for their love ones or tried to ensure that they were the ones with particular people. Of course, shipgirls, being military, often had the additional issue of having to go on a sortie at exactly the wrong time.

For Yokosuka Fleet Activities, however, there was an additional hazard in the form of a flying Ooi, usually after she had attempted once again to get into her sister ship's pants in some manner. It was that particular hazard that Felicity Jordan, the shipgirl HMS Defence, ran afoul of heading back to the cruiser dorms.

One moment she was walking along normally, the next she was being splattered in melted chocolate and staggered under the weight of Ooi slamming into her from the second storey window. An Ooi who was naked except for being covered in more melted chocolate.

Grunting under the weight as she took a step backwards, Felicity managed to hold her ground even as her muscles strained to handle the sudden impact of five thousand tons of light cruiser.

"Okay… seriously, what the bloody fuck, girl?" Felicity asked as she managed to steady herself. Dropping Ooi's feet to the ground, she pushed the girl back to arm's length once she was steady, ignoring the chocolate splatting her uniform. "What the hell happened this time, Ooi?" she asked, recognising the other cruiser.

Ooi sniffed, rubbing her arm across her nose before attempting to wipe her eyes only to be stopped by Felicity. "I-I… it was for Kitakami," she admitted.

Shaking her head, Felicity sighed. "Come on, let's get you cleaned up. Even with as close as we are to the equator, running around in chocolate can't be fun," she paused and looked down at herself, sighing again. "And I need a fresh set of clothes myself." Pulling her jacket off, she flipped it around and wrapped it around Ooi, having her crew make a note to give it a thorough scrubbing to get the chocolate off it before leading the lighter cruiser back to her quarters and sending her to take a shower.

Half an hour later, with both of them clean and wearing dressing gowns, Felicity poured Ooi a shot of whiskey, before setting a glass for herself. "Want to talk about it?" she asked.

Shifting around to look at Felicity, Ooi blinked a couple of times before taking the whiskey and throwing it back, only to end up in a coughing fit. Once she recovered, she sighed. "I… you know I have a thing for Kitakami, right?" she asked.

"Pretty sure everyone knows about it unless they're new to everything," Felicity replied, sipping her own whiskey. "And the fact more often than not she's been rejecting you to the point there's been some chases around here."

Ooi nodded morosely. "Things… got out of hand, more than once," she admitted. "I just… I wanted to do something nice for her, to try to make up for it, it was supposed to be just a dance and show, maybe she'd…" she trailed off and flushed bright red. "She'd clean some of it off me," she managed.

Felicity gave Ooi a sidelong look. "I'm going to take it that things didn't go anywhere near what you'd planned and she threw you out the window, not knowing who might be walking by." She got a nod from Ooi, the girl resting her elbows on her knees and dropping her head.

"I just… why does she keep doing things like this? Why can't I get her to admit her feelings for me? I know she's got some, but she doesn't show them. She'd rather teach the destroyers about torpedoes than spend time with me, even as sisters." Ooi squeezed her eyes shut, clenching her hands into fists so tight that the glass she was still holding shattered, spraying shards.

Taking a breath, Felicity set aside her own glass and pulled the smaller cruiser into her lap. "Ooi…" she trailed off for a moment before sighing, "Actually, do you want me to use your ship name or your human name?" she asked.

Ooi sniffled, curling slightly. "Eh… um… m-my real name is Tsujihara Kiko… you can-you can use it if you want."

Felicity nodded, shifting slightly as she started rubbing Kiko's back gently. "Alright then, Kiko, I'll be honest, I'm an outsider so you don't have to take my advice. That said, honestly, I think you should take a step back and let Kitakami have some breathing room." She gave the girl a warning squeeze when she felt Kiko shift. "I don't mean stop everything, but have you ever seen horses?" she asked.

"W-what do horses have to do with my love?" Kiko asked.

"They bolt, the stamp, they kick and they bite, _especially_ when they're scared and threatened, even if that is in their head," replied Felicity. "Kitakami is honestly acting like a spooked horse, especially because you've been chasing her all over. Keep it up and she might do worse than throw you out a window." She closed her eyes, leaning back slightly. "Probably the best thing you can do right now, Kiko, is stop pushing. Let her know you're there for her, let her know she can cry on your shoulder to bend your ear about her worries, but stop chasing her. If she wants to go, let her, if she wants to talk to someone else, that's her choice.

"My sisters don't control who I talk to and if they tried I'd give them twelve six inch rounds somewhere painful. That said; I know I can talk to any of them about things or to any of the other girls at Devonport if I've got problems, even our commodore." Felicity shrugged, still rubbing Kiko's back. "You know," she said, reaching around Kiko to take a sip of her whiskey. "There's another reason for you stepping back a bit, I had a boyfriend once, a couple of them actually, the first was an arsehole, worse than you are, constantly trying to stop me talking with others or wanting to know where I was and what I was doing. I dumped his arse in three months, only a month after he started that shit. My second was as good of a guy as you could find, wanted me to get through college and university, wanted my dreams to come true," She smiled slightly, "wanted me happy. He didn't have too much money, but he was a good guy. He's the one that taught me how to ride, how to whisper horses, what to look for in them to say they were happy, how to tell if they were spooked by something, a whole lot of things."

Kiko pulled back slightly to look at Felicity, hearing a certain amount of wistfulness in the other cruiser's voice. "What happened to him?" she asked.

Felicity closed her eyes and shook her head. "An abyssal battleship attacked, he protected me with his body, but it still tore him in half." She blinked as her eyes started to tear. "That's when I awoke; I still remember what happened and… part of why I haven't bothered with Valentine's the last few years is that I haven't found anyone to fill the hole."

"Aw jeez…" Kiko muttered, wincing. "You're going out of your way to help me when this day must hurt you even more," she said softly, reaching around to hug Felicity.

"It's not your fault," Felicity responded, shifting to hug Kiko back.

Kiko nodded slightly, leaning into the taller girl. "Uh… I hope I'm not being too forward, but… do you think I could stay here with you and your sisters? I… Kitakami would probably toss me back out if I tried going back to our room."

Felicity frowned thoughtfully. "We've got a spare bunk you can probably use, at least for tonight."

"Thank you, Defence," Kiko said.

"Felicity," Felicity told her, getting a worried look from Kiko. "I know your name; it's only fair you know mine. Felicity Jordan," she introduced herself.

* * *

A few days later Felicity approached Kitakami outside Yokosuka's mess hall. "Can we talk for a few minutes, Kitakami?" she asked the black haired light cruiser.

"Defence, right?" Kitakami asked, getting a nod. "I guess I've got a few minutes, I was just about to get something to eat though, if you want, you're welcome to join me."

Felicity nodded, indicating for Kitakami to lead the way. Once the pair had gotten their food and claimed a table, she started. "Firstly, I'd like to ask you for an apology. When you… evicted Ooi on Valentine's Day, you managed to send her into me, though I doubt it was intentional. You may also want to apologise to her as well, since if you'd sent her a bit lower… well, if it weren't for my guns, it's possible I'd be classed as a heavy cruiser, maybe armoured, and you might have been responsible for your sister getting near twenty thousand tonnes dropped on her."

Kitakami flinched and grimaced. "I…" She closed her eyes for a moment. "You're right, I'm sorry, but I really wasn't aiming at you. I didn't know you were there."

Felicity nodded again, watching Kitakami as she took the chance to eat some of the food. "I know, and I heard some of what happened from Ooi," she said, nodding at the other girl's sigh. "I did talk to her, how much it'll stick I don't know, but she does care for you from what I've seen."

"I know… she's just… she's just too much, especially all day, every day," Kitakami admitted. "I do care for her as well, but she's my sister. How wrong is it for that to be a thing? For someone to want to bed their own blood?" she asked.

Swirling her fork around in her noodles, Felicity frowned slightly. "Do you count her as a full sister?" she asked. "I mean, yes she's your sister ship, she's one of your ship class, but is she your sister by blood? Were both of you born to the same parents before you awoke?"

"I… never thought about it," admitted the ravenette softly. "I like Ooi, she's good looking for a girl, but… she's my sister ship, it'd be like trying to date Kuma or Tama."

"And how she acts scares you, doesn't it?" Felicity asked, getting a nod from Kitakami. "I asked her to tone it down when we talked, because I could see you were spooked, maybe enough to torpedo her." She took a bite of her noodles, chewing them slowly and swallowing before continuing. "I think you need to talk to her though, not run or try to avoid her advances, but actually talk. Maybe it won't change anything and you'll still get the same thing happen, but you've at least tried to get her to back down." She shifted, leaning back to look around the mess hall. "Worst case, you've got several dozen possible friends and your other sister ships, even if you don't have a human family any longer, and you could try transferring, even if only temporarily."

Kitakami nodded, frowning thoughtfully at her food. After several minutes with the pair eating in silence, she looked up. "Would you… would you be willing to be around if I talk to Ooi?"

Felicity blinked, looking up from her food. "Why me?" she asked. "I mean, why not someone from Yokosuka? Surely your friends or other sisters would be better to act as referee for a discussion."

"You…" Kitakami paused and flushed. "That is, you already seem to have gotten through to Ooi, and you seem to know what I'm going through. Even if you're not involved, or maybe it's better that you're not directly involved." She stopped to take a drink before looking up at Felicity. "Maybe everyone here is too close, and of those from other bases, you're the only one that seems to have actually bothered talking to either of us about it."

Frowning slightly, Felicity thought it over as she continued her meal for several bites before nodding. "Alright, but you'll probably need my number or email so I know where and when.

* * *

Straightening her dress for the fifth time since she had put it on, Kiko swallowed nervously as she and Kitakami stood in front of Felicity's door in Devonport. "Are-are you sure about this, Hisae-chan?" she asked, looking over at her sister shipgirl.

Hisae nodded, tugging the collar of her own, powder blue knee-length dress. "It's White Day, Kiko-chan, and Felicity-chan did help us," she replied. Taking a deep breath, she blew it out slowly before stepping up and ringing the bell.

A few moments later the door opened to reveal a redhead woman wearing a crop top and pair of jeans. "Can I help you two?"

"Yes, could you see if Defence is available and let her know that Ooi and Kitakami are here?" Hisae asked.

Pulling back, the woman turned into the dorm. "FLISS! YOUR DATES ARE HERE!"

"PRETTY SURE I'M THE CHAPERONE, NICKI!" Felicity called back. A few moments later, she appeared at the door in a simple green dress, her hair done up in a short ponytail. "Hey girls, anywhere in particular you wanted to head?" she asked.

Both girls blushed at the sight of the larger cruiser dressed to party. "W-well, you mentioned your hull was still in the memorial park, and that there were a few decent restaurants around, didn't you?" Kiko asked, trying to get her blush under control. She was a Kitakami-sexual, damn it.

"Sure, if that's what you want as well, Hisae," Felicity said, getting a nod from the ravenette. "Alright, though I'm not sure why you want to visit my hull." She turned to her class sister. "Nicki, you mind telling the others not to wait up? We should be back by around ten, but you never know."

Nicki nodded. "Sure, have fun on your date, Fliss," she said.

Felicity rolled her eyes. "I'm the chaperone, Nicki." She muttered as Nicki closed the door behind them. Shaking her head, she led the two torpedo cruisers down to where her car was parked, not seeing them share a look.

"If-if it's alright, Felicity," Hisae started. "We don't mind making this into a group rather than a date with a chaperone."

* * *

Felicity = Felicity Jordan/HMS Defence  
Kiko = Tsujihara Kiko/IJN Ooi  
Hisae = Kyoya Hisae/IJN Kitakami  
Nicki = Nicki Calhoun/HMS Hawke

In terms of the end, it's deliberately vague, but I'm not intending on having Fliss end up in a three way, it's more a case of the pair decided to party more than date and they've not seen her dressed up so they're a bit flustered by it.


	163. Rule 9350 (By me!)

**9350: Phoenix and Columbia, report to the Admiral's office immediately!**

It was a sunny day in White Sands, New Mexico. The winds were a bit high, blowing the fine white gypsum dust over anything foolish enough to be caught outside and that included a pair of kanmusu on the range. Phoenix and Columbia enjoyed it when the Admiral gave them leave. It didn't happen often. Usually because of Phoenix's fiery shenanigans and Columbia off doing things with NASA the pair rarely had a chance to be together. The Admiral should have known better. Two shipgirls with a fiery past coming together for Science! did not usually end well. It would turn out that today would be no exception to that rule.

On the surface it seemed pretty straight forward. The pair were to test a new rocket that the Air Force was keen to promote. Phoenix's new propellant fuel, despite the incident with Columbia, had gained supporters within the military. Phoenix was able to refine the formula but she needed a more aerodynamic rocket to strap it to. That is where Columbia came in. Despite the earlier accident, Columbia had shown interest and was happy to further the science! She took a Saturn V, removed the separate rockets and turned the shells into compartments for different stages of flight. There were three fuel tanks, a payload section where any equipment would be stored. And in the nose was a compartment where the crew would pilot the ship and live. The separation of the tanks would ensure a lack of sloshing as the rocket burned through some of its fuel, requiring less input to correct its trajectory thus making it more efficient. When it returned to earth, arms stowed inside would deploy allowing it to touch down like a Harrier.

Despite her eagerness to participate in the test, Columbia was apprehensive. "The winds are rising." She said. The rising winds were of great concern during any launch. Too high and the oscillation would tear the craft apart midflight causing debris to rain down over a wide area which potentially endangered thousands downwind.

Phoenix checked her chart. "It's still within limits." She said. She didn't say that the winds were fast approaching those limits and would likely exceed them by the time the countdown ended. For her, cancelling was not an option. She had worked hard to get the support she had and with the brass watching, she needed to deliver. She ignored Columbia's warning.

"3,2,1 and Liftoff!" The rocket ascended skyward from its makeshift pad, hastily but well built in the middle of the lakebed. Columbia was in the crowd watching it while Phoenix stood in a makeshift control room as she operated the rocket from there. Phoenix's propellant was working flawlessly thus far, delivering on its promises of improved performance as the rocket escaped the earth's gravity at twice the ascent rate as previous rockets had without burning any more fuel. The sensors on board this remotely operated flight indicated that fuel flow was actually less than what was predicted. The design was proving to be more efficient than either shipgirl anticipated. But it was all about to go horribly wrong.

As the rocket approached Max Q it was struck broadside by a powerful crosswind strong enough to shake loose several fittings that separated two of its fuel tanks. The blow was beyond what the rivets could take and they burst, fuel gushing from the holes. As it streamed down next to the hot engines it ignited, leaving a parallel trail of flame very similar to that witnessed on Challenger just before the explosion.

When Columbia saw this she immediately radioed Phoenix who understood the severity of the situation as well as her mistake. "Crap, RTLS! RTLS!" She cried, sending the commands to the rocket. She was a tad too late. The rocket immediately tried to obey but the damage had been done. The maneuver for RTLS was beyond what its strained frame could withstand and it broke apart. The remaining fuel ignited and the explosion was eerily similar to Challenger's as the nose and the payload cell of the rocket were blown clear, continuing on for a ways before rolling sideways and falling back to earth. Dust clouds indicated where the early impacts were.

There was silence for a moment before everyone began to either wonder away grumbling or get to work on the hideous task of recovering the debris for answers. Phoenix sighed and spoke into her radio. "Well at least it was unmanned." She said to Columbia. Columbia vowed to throw the cruiser into the nearest wind tunnel the next chance she got but for the moment and icy cold glare would suffice.

...

Admiral Briggs could not fume enough as he stared down the pair of shipgirls currently sitting across from him in his office. Despite how morose and subdued they looked. Both were windswept and covered in a mixture of rocket fuel and gypsum. Only Phoenix dared to meet his gaze. Columbia kept her head down and her fists were tightly clenched. She looked to be biting her lip to keep herself from crying. Briggs had a good idea what was going through her mind. The early reports indicated her rocket had oscillated then exploded in a many very similar to her sister. He pushed down his sympathy as he remembered all the phone calls he had done that morning warding off angry concerned citizens and military brass under pressure to determine what happened to their precious experiment.

"I'm waiting for an explanation." He said calmly.

"Our calibrations were off." Phoenix said.

Columbia forgot all about Challenger for the moment and shot a steely eyed glare at her companion. "Our calibrations? _Our calibrations?!"_ She snarled. "I TOLD you the winds were too high to launch but did you listen?!"

Briggs intervened before it could get too ugly although he did make a mental note to order one of the submarines to record the pair's 'conversation' for later use! "You girls are restricted to your quarters. South Dakota will manage the lab in your absence. You may only leave your rooms to assist in the investigation and you will be under escort the whole time."

"Yes sir." "Yes sir."

"Dismissed!"

As soon as the door closed he could hear them arguing, Phoenix loudly restating her position and Columbia doing her best to remind the cruiser of the importance of safety. He decided he would lift the restrictions on Columbia sooner. The shuttle had done her best. Phoenix however needed more punishment. Briggs took out his phone book and searched until he found the right number, then dialed.

 _"Hornet here."  
_  
"Hornet, it's Admiral Briggs. How soon can you have a place 'prepared' for Phoenix?"

Briggs fought not to shudder at the carrier's laugh. _"It'll be ready in no time Admiral."_


	164. Rule 6526

_Rule by Grathryn_

 **6526\. Science girls, while we appreciate the virtual reality games you've managed to program, it's now your job to get the girls out of them. Last we saw Tenryuu and Johnston, at least, were involved in some sort of 40K scenario while DesDiv6 were dungeon crawling in the fantasy version of the world  
6526a. That's not even counting Zephyr taking Fubuki, Zenith, Mutsuki and Yuudachi in for some sort of noir detective novel or something  
6526b. "It was a redo of some of the Blyton novels actually," - Megan**

Looking around the room, Rika frowned at the group. The room itself was pretty much a standard briefing room, a screen on one wall above a stage with a podium for someone to speak at, practically standard for every military base and quite a number of emergency services worldwide. This particular one just happened to be based at Jacksonville Naval Complex, one of America's active navy bases that didn't have a permanent compliment of shipgirls.

"Does anyone have any idea why we're here, poi?" a voice from the side brought her head around to find her blonde dorm mate, the girl wearing a normal blouse and tight trousers instead of her usual black sailor schoolgirl outfit.

Rika shook her head, her own black hair whipping at her cheeks. "No idea… except that it looks like only light cruisers and lighter are here and I see several nations."

"Poi~"

Closing her eyes, Rika blew out a tired sigh. "Arei-chan… do you _have_ to do that?" she asked, looking up at her friend. "I know it's part of how you want others to see you as Yuudachi, but I don't think anyone is going to comment if you let it lie for a while."

"Why did you even start using that anyway, Arei-chan?" their other dorm mate asked from opposite Rika.

Arei shrugged. "It seemed like a good idea at the time," she admitted, then grinned at the pair. "Besides, you know how much it pisses off Jersey-san, Mino-chan," she said, green eye flashing in amusement.

Both girls simply gave her deadpan stares before their attention was called from the front, a group of rather recognisable shipgirls meeting on the stage.

"Thank you all for coming," Yuubari started as she almost bounced on the stage. "I'm sure you're all wondering just why you were called out here, especially as this isn't one of our bases."

There was a moment of dead silence, as if every light cruiser, destroyer and submarine in the building were silently saying 'gee, ya _think_?' before the cruiser coughed and continued. "We've managed, with a bit of help, to create a full immersion virtual reality system and we'd like you to be our testers."

"What?" asked one of the American girls, "No, seriously, _what_?" she asked flatly.

"Please tell me that it's more 'holodeck' than 'Abstergo' or whatever that wannabe 'god' from Sword Art Online and its sequels used," Robyn's voice sounded from where a group of British destroyers were sitting. Looking over, Rika noticed several of them nodding in unison. "Because if it's anything to do with literally sticking my brain into a computer, I've _seen_ where that shit can go, and if I don't have a door, I'll _make_ one."

Mino grimaced at that, chewing her lip worriedly. "Kami… I really hope Yuubari-san hasn't done that. I don't want my brain stuck in a computer," she muttered.

Sharing a slightly worried look with Arei, Rika shifted to wrap an arm around Mino, side hugging her as the girl pulled her legs under her.

"No, no," Yuubari waved her hands in front of her while shaking her head. "No brain downloading involved, it's… think of it as a…" she frowned.

"It's a prelude to the holodeck from Star Trek," South Dakota cut in as she joined Yuubari. "You'll be wearing special suits similar to those they use for motion capture to enable you to interact more fully with the characters in the game."

Yuubari nodded, her friend's explanation bringing her back onto a more even keel. "That's right, we have several large warehouses set up with hologram projectors and the suits will let you interact with them and them with you. They'll also let you interact with the environment and the objects there."

"What we'd like you to do," SoDak took up the thread again, "Is test out the suits to make sure they work with the emitters and the game systems we have." She turned slightly, bringing up a film of what was apparently supposed to happen while in a VR game. "The games run up to ten players simultaneously and should run for about an hour to test them out."

"This is either going to go horribly, horribly wrong or horribly, horribly right, and I'm not sure which worries me more…" Rika muttered, massaging her temples with her free hand.

* * *

Sitting in the changing room with several other girls, Rika looked at the motion suit that Yuubari and SoDak had given her. It wasn't really much, just two full body cat suits sewn together with a layer of machinery and sensors in the middle. It wasn't even that glaring in terms of colour, just a light grey suit.

"I feel like I'm getting dressed up for a starring role in a Super Sentai flick," Arei muttered from behind her. "All it needs is some animal themed helmet and someone getting dressed up as a monster."

"As long as it's not one of those hentai versions," Mino muttered before flushing bright red as both Rika and Arei turned to her with identical 'WTF' expressions on their faces. "My sister keeps sending me links to sites with that on there… if it's not other things."

Rika shared a look with Arei, her lips twitching slightly. "Oh, Mino, is _that_ why we sometimes here you moaning at night in the dorms?" she asked as she turned back.

"Or where you got _those_ massagers, poi?" Arei added, a rather Cheshire cat grin forming on her face, "Or the DVDs and booze?"

Mino spluttered, her face going beet red as she dropped the body suit she had been holding. "I-I-I don't know what you're t-t-talking about…"

Smirking, Rika arched an eyebrow at her division mate. "Really?" she asked. "Then you won't mind if Arei and I take that bottle of sake you keep in that spare locker near the docks at Yokosuka some night?"

Arei shifted, pulling on her own bodysuit up to her waist. "What about the magazines under your bed?"

"Alright you two," Sally's voice cut through Mino's stuttering attempts at denial, "as entertaining as it might be to bring up Mutsuki's seedier lifestyle; most of us don't need to hear it."

"Hey!" Mino objected. "My lifestyle isn't seedy."

There was an amused snort from the opposite side of the girls as Robyn, already dressed in the body suit and a set of ordinary clothes over it joined them. "Honestly, we're teenagers, sex, drugs, music and rebellion are _supposed_ to be things we're into. Besides, it's not like any of us can talk, I'm fairly sure there's at least ten to fifty percent of things we have are one of those and I'm fairly sure Jen and Helen have at least gotten to first or second base, no idea on Megan and Anna, but they've got a longer history."

"I think the only drugs we've got are either booze or medicinal and legal, but then there's what the Wilders can get…" Sally shrugged before tapping Mino on the head. "You might want to get some clothes on; walking out in your underwear probably isn't fun."

Flushing again, Mino let out an "eep," before rushing to pull on the body suit.

Chuckling at her friend's reactions, Rika helped Mino zip the suit up before allowing Arei to do the same for her, pulling her clothes over the top of the outfit.

* * *

Sally frowned slightly as she walked along with Rika, well, the brunette was a bit ahead of her, and far enough that she could actually see both Mino and Arei casting shifty glances at the other girl's rear. There seemed to be something there, though she wasn't entirely sure what was going on, so she simply filed it away for later.

"DesDiv Six is in the Keepsake storyline with Tatsuta, while Tenryuu, Johnston and Sammy B wanted 40K…" Yuubari muttered as she led the way through the various warehouses, listing off who was where. "That leaves this one for you five," she said, waving at a warehouse very much like the others on the lot, "Though we're still missing two… eep!"

Yuubari jumped back as a massive muscle bike seemed to appear out of nowhere, skidding to a stop that almost threw its rider off.

"I am… _never_ … doing that… again…" the busty girl muttered as she dismounted, staggering a few steps before Robyn caught her. "Shit… where'd you learn to drive?"

There was a snort from the bike, which transformed back into the armoured form of Sally's sister before the armour melted away like moulted feathers, revealing the blue haired girl. "You wanted to get here fast, Kanae," she pointed out.

Kanae shivered, still breathing heavily. "There's… fast… then there's… that," she panted. Taking a deep breath, she swallowed hard before letting it out. "I mean… as lewd as that could be, I was more worried about pancaking from your stunts. Seriously, driving up a truck that's in motion? Jumping a plane, a C-130 at that? Then there's riding along the building wall just now." She shook her head. "You scare me, I mean, really scare me."

Sally snorted in amusement. "You've obviously never seen any of the Zulus really go at it with stunts," she commented dryly. "Besides, Karas, I don't need to stick to the normal time flow, hell, half the stuff I deal with doesn't _exist_ in the normal flow of time they're like half a dimension over or something."

Yuubari coughed to get everyone's attention. "Right, now that the last pair is here, this is the game you'll be testing for us. It's based on an English children's author's works, and actually, you've got a near perfect split for this."

"If I've got to partner one of the Brits, bagsy the sane one!" called Kanae, waving her arm.

The three English girls shared an amused look between themselves before snickering, "Us? Sane?" asked Robyn before snorting. "Iku ain't any of us 'sane', or don't you remember the slime you caught with your face?" She got a grimace from Kaede. "I've worked with worse ones of them; heck there's a bunch we have to use NBC gear on. Those two, the last time they went on holiday, spent at least a few nights at a haunted naval base and were completely blasé about the spooks to the point they snarked at battleships, and Zephyr was one of the first to punt out abyssal heavies when they got blockaded in. Hell, Megan hacked a few into chunks."

Yuubari coughed again. "W-well, I'll leave it to you seven to decide who you're going to play, but the game is based around a series known as 'The Secret Seven', and there's seven of you so…" she shrugged before opening the door.

* * *

Sitting around in a holographic shed on a set of boxes and plant pots, Rika stretched slightly before settling again. "Does anyone know what we're supposed to do with this?" she asked. "I mean I know we had to pick characters from a group of seven kids and some of us are playing guys, but what did the Secret Seven actually do?"

"They're child detectives," Kanae answered, leaning back against the wall behind her, which was actually the wall of the warehouse. "There's like, a bunch of them. Oriana-chan had most of them and we used to read them together when we were children."

Robyn nodded slightly. "I don't remember much about the Seven, but the author, Mrs Blyton, wrote a load of stories. I only caught a few because of being an orphan, but I think she did something like fifty to a hundred books in all."

Slipping an arm each around Robyn, Megan and Sally leaned into her comfortingly. "I think we got the other groups more, but we almost grew up on the Famous Five, Malory Towers, St Clare's and the like," said Sally, frowning thoughtfully. "Depending on where we are supposed to be will probably change things up, though we're probably in the first book, so… someone lost their badge Christmas time or something and there's a creepy old house opposite that they find 'interesting', which leads to the mystery."

Megan nodded. "Honestly, it's a game; we'll probably get prompted for things if it's programmed right. Kind of like the remake of Shivers that we all did not too long after the three of us gained our abilities," she said, indicating herself, her twin and Robyn.

"Maybe… maybe they should have not had all the main characters replaced by players," suggested Mino, running her hands along the holographic dog's side as he came past her. "I wonder how they managed to get these to let us feel things though," she murmured.

"Yeah, poi, it's weird, poi," Arei added, getting unamused looks from the other girls.

Rika sighed, closing her eyes briefly. "Arei… please stop that. We deal with it enough on duty."

"Well," Kanae said, shifting in her spot. "I know one thing I'm going to do." She looked around at the group. "Have at least some childhood; besides, I think we're supposed to play in the snow anyway." She frowned slightly as she thought. "Yeah, actually, they gave us a kids' series, and at least two of us are orphans and my childhood was…" she grimaced in disgust. "Well, anyone that knows how I Awoke, can probably guess."

Shifting out of the twins' arms, Robyn crossed over to Kanae and tugged her up, dragging her over to the other pair before sitting and pulling the busty girl into a hug.

"I believe the term, craptastic, comes to mind," Megan said, side hugging Robyn again before twining her fingers into Kanae's. "All in favour of just playing up the characters?" she asked, getting a unanimous 'aye' from the rest.

* * *

Commodore Glenn scowled as she walked through the storage yard at Jacksonville. Normally she didn't have too many problems _directly_ related to her girls, but that didn't mean that they didn't get into trouble every so often. Of course, that was before Yuubari and South Dakota had requested roughly half of her destroyers and light cruisers, nearly a week ago, and Admirals Goto and Briggs were missing a number of their ships as well from the same event.

She eventually found the two mad scientists in an older office building, huddled over a bank of computer screens as they muttered to one another. A look at the monitors had Lauren's scowl increasing as she spotted several of the missing shipgirls on the displays, including her nieces. "Ladies," she snapped, making both shipgirls yelp, Yuubari ending up banging her chin on the desk as she tipped her chair too far forwards and it skidded out from under her. "I hope you have an explanation as to why you are watching several of the other shipgirls and why they're still here and not out on the front lines where they're needed."

The pair shared a look and swallowed as Yuubari picked herself up. "Uh… we uh…"

Lauren arched an eyebrow at the two of them. "You don't, do you?" she asked rhetorically. "What is this?"

"It's a prototype holodeck, sort of," SoDak replied. "You see there are holographic emitters in the warehouses that create projections and the suits the girls are wearing allow them to interact with them, since we don't know how to make hard light holograms or shaped force fields yet."

"While the idea is good, there are two problems, firstly you used shipgirls we need on the front," Lauren pointed out. "Secondly, you tied them up without any sort of timetable, and even if it is light cruisers and lighter, those are the shipgirls that do the most work getting the resources where they are needed, including whatever parts and food you are using for this." She looked between the two shipgirls. "I suggest, ladies, that you get those girls out of there and find other test subjects, or at least plan things better; otherwise you're unlikely to be receiving any specific materials from overseas if there aren't any escorts available." She gave the pair a measuring look. "I need my girls back for the next convoy run tomorrow, and I'm sure both Admiral Goto and Admiral Briggs won't be shipping any materials your way unless you shake loose their girls."

Both shipgirls snapped salutes as Lauren turned away from them.


	165. Rule 10667 (by me!)

**10667: Hiding Olympic's axe and replacing it with an Allen Quatermain rifle is hilarious. It also has said ship forming a League of Extraordinary Kanmusu with his brothers, girlfriend and her siblings with their first mission being to hunt down Olympic's axe.  
**  
"WHERE IS MY AXE!"

Everyone in the ocean liner dorms woke to Olympic's angry cry. Titanic was fortunate that Langley was out on patrol. The last time Olympic made such a loud noise in the morning she'd woken up by punching a hole straight through the wall, barely missing Britannic's head on the other side. Deciding to see what the fuss was about before they all heard about it from the Admiral, Titanic sighed and got up out of bed. He quickly changed into his day clothes and left his bedroom, knocking on his brother's door.

"Dare I ask what's got you so riled?" He asked.

Olympic was fuming as he rummaged through his drawers. "Someone stole my axe last night and replaced it with this!" He held out an old British rifle.

"I think someone mistook you for Allan Quatermain." Titanic said, trying not to laugh.

Olympic noticed anyways and gave his brother a glare to show him how amused he was. "Yeah well they can take their humor and..." He paused midsentence, his eyes taking on a hue familiar to anyone who had seen a kanmusu preparing for mischief!

"Olympic." Titanic warned, afraid he knew what his brother was thinking.

"If I'm Quatermain, then you're Sawyer." Olympic said.

"Why do I have to be sawyer?!" Titanic whined. "Can't we find one of the Yanks to do it!"

"No! I need to keep you under my wing." Olympic replied and Titanic huffed.

"Fine." The younger agreed. "So where are we going to find the others?"

"Oh just you wait and see little brother." Olympic purred.

...

Aquitania like everyone else had been woken by Olympic's earlier rant but he didn't mind. It gave him a chance to perform his favorite morning ritual with his girlfriend, Queen Mary. He was in the middle of it when a knock sounded on his door. This time, Aquitania was not so tolerant. "WHAT?!" He snapped.

"May I come in." It was Titanic.

"Yeah, give me a minute." Aquitania cleaned himself up and climbed off the bed, leaving Mary to wrap herself in a sheet.

Titanic walked in, took one look at her and blushed. "I am so sorry." He said.

"You wouldn't be the first to interrupt our mourning routine." Queen Mary assured him.

"Right. So what do you need?" Aquitania asked.

"Someone stole Olympic's axe last night." Titanic explained.

"May SecNav have mercy on their souls." Aquitania deadpanned and Queen Mary sniggered.

"Agreed but they replaced it with a Quatermain rifle." Titanic said. "Now Olympic's forming a League of Extraordinary Kanmusu. He wants you to be Dorian. Because of your, charm."

"Its about time someone appreciated my beauty for what it truly is." Aquitania purred and even Queen Mary had to roll her eyes at that.

...

Two hours later Olympic's new League was nearly complete.

He himself was Allan Quatermain. Titanic was Tom Sawyer, he even brushed up his New York accent he'd picked up on for the role. Aquitania was Dorian Gray. Queen Mary was Mina Harkel. Loowit stepped in to play Captain Nemo. The invisible Skinner was, naturally, played by one of the submarines. In this case USS Arkansas was happy to oblige. Now they just needed an Edward Hyde. They were scouring the base for a suitable candidate, unaware that they were being watched.

Well hidden in the bushes, Belfast sighed to herself. She found Olympic's reaction to the prank quiet amusing. Of course she knew who was responsible but it wasn't her place to reveal that secret.

 _"I better tell the Admiral about this."_ She thought. _"Before they recruit me as Edward Hyde."_

...

A/N: Special thanks to Falkeno who allowed me to use Belfast in this snippet!


	166. Rule 10831

_Rule by Grathryn_

 **10831\. The British Sea Lords have released the civilian names of the shipgirls to their base commanders and staff. Except for medical personnel, it should go no further into the civilian domain  
10831a. Just because some shipgirls share names with flag officers or their staff, that doesn't mean that they can call on them for 'emergencies'  
10831b. Do you even know how many people share surnames in the UK alone?  
10831c. It should also be said that even when people in the same family are on the same base, there are at least some good examples of people avoiding nepotism**

"DON'T YOU IDIOTS GET IT?" the bellow from outside brought Sally's head up from where she had been starting to doze off on the paperwork she had been dealing with, most of which was just requisitions and accounts for what materials the last sortie had used. "JUST BECAUSE MY SURNAME IS 'BRIGGS' THAT DOESN'T MEAN I'M RELATED TO YOUR ADMIRAL! EVEN IF MY SISTER AND I _ARE_ RELATED TO HIM, WE'RE FIVE OR SIX GENERATIONS REMOVED, _MINIMUM_!"

"What the heck is going on out there?" Sally asked, looking over at her sister.

Megan shrugged. "No idea, Sally," she replied.

 _"_ _You have mail,"_ snarled a deep, creepy voice that drew a raised eyebrow from Sally.

"How'd you get that old thing working on there?" Sally asked, watching her sister work on the computer. "That theme is from the Win95 days, I didn't think 7 would work with it."

Megan shrugged. "It's a theme, pictures and sounds; it's not exactly hard to rejigger things in the theme set up. Besides, it's a good way of spooking the Intel pukes." Frowning, she pulled up the new mail from her aunt and read through it. "Huh, looks like the Sea Lords made some official lists of who each shipgirl is in their civilian life."

"WHY THE HELL DO YOU THINK THAT I'M GOING TO PUT IN A 'GOOD WORD' FOR YOU WITH ADMIRAL CUNNINGHAM?" Lydia Cunningham, HMS Myngs' voice sounded from somewhere in the vicinity of the base's railway station, "I'VE ENOUGH TROUBLE WITH THE RAIL LINE AND HE'S NOT MY FATHER, GRANDFATHER OR OTHERWISE RELATED TO ME!"

"And apparently some of the sailors or marines learned that Myngs' real name is Lydia Cunningham and that Unison and Unrivalled are Lilly and Stephanie Briggs," Megan continued as if she hadn't been interrupted. She sighed, rubbing her eyes as she leaned back. "Someone must've gotten a copy and let the enlisted know about it." She paused, frowning at something. "Though…" a few moments later, she got up as the printer started to chunter away, ink print heads roving back and forth under the cover.

Collecting the print out, she passed it to her sister, who blinked as she read the name on the sheet. "We need to talk to our cousin about some things apparently," Megan said.

Looking down, Sally scowled. There, on the page in black and white, was the name Tegan Jones, HMS Unicorn along with a photo that was both obviously the Unicorn they both knew along with another showing their cousin – well, second cousin on their father's side. "Seriously?" asked Sally, frowning at the bleached white hair and purple contacts Tegan had apparently opted to use along with makeup to highlight different portions of her face.

Megan nodded absently as she texted their aunt. "I don't know why she didn't tell us, unless," she waved a hand at the outside world to indicate what was going on. "Hell, Commodore Shipperley pretty much admitted that while bringing in our aunt was _somewhat_ nepotism, it was more that she was the next in line, had the best qualifications and he knew if anyone would ensure we survived, it'd be Aunt Lauren." Grabbing their uniform jackets, she tossed Sally's over to her before slinging her own on.

* * *

Reaching the carrier training area, Megan paused for a moment, frowning slightly as she watched the four young women send their fighters and amphibious assault vehicles against one another's, the aerial fight literally being too fast to truly track, even with her supernatural capabilities. It didn't help that for all their speed, the MANTAs were on the par if not better at manoeuvring in three dimensions than most modern vector control thruster equipped jets.

After several minutes of watching, Epona's planes managed to drop torpedoes at just the right angle to cover Enbarr – or as most called her, Ember – in red paint, which Pegasus took several critical hits from Unicorn's WALRUS compliment. "All right, girls," Sally called out, catching the group's attention. "Call it time and get some clean clothes, Unicorn, a word."

"Oh boy," Epona commented, "Zephyr's looking pissed. What did you do, Unicorn?" she asked as the quartet started skating back towards the shore, their MANTAs and WALRUSes moving in to land on their decks or be picked up by their elevators.

"Hell if I know," Unicorn responded, holding her arm out to let her fighters land on her deck. "I don't remember doing anything that'd get the flag coming down on me."

Following her sister down, Megan narrowed her eyes at Unicorn as the shipgirl stepped onto solid ground. "We need to talk, Teggie… starting with why you thought we wouldn't find out about you being a shipgirl."

Tegan flinched as her sister ships hissed in sympathy. "Ooooh… busted," Epona commented, getting a groan from Tegan.

"Yeah, yeah, up yours, Kayleigh," Tegan grumbled before turning to her cousins and sighing. "What was I supposed to say, girls?" she asked. "I didn't want to have anyone trying to use my connections to get better, nor did I want you going easy on me because we're second cousins."

The twins both gave her unimpressed looks. "Really?" asked Sally. "I mean, really? You've been around long enough for you to see us do this job and get to our positions the hard way, why do you think we'd go easy on you?"

Megan nodded, crossing her arms over her chest. "Aunt Lauren, if anything, was harder on us than on Robyn or Anna when we started out. Teg, w _e earned_ our bars, and every medal that we've got on our dress uniforms is something we got from hard work. If anything, we'd be pushing you harder than the others, because we know you better."

"Ask Kayleigh about the after effects of her encounter with the Yank Essexes someday," Sally added, shifting her weight back slightly. "And remember, we spent the best part of half a _year_ dealing with hurricanes and storms, did you see any of us in command slacking off or giving anyone we were close to lighter jobs?" she asked.

Tegan shook her head a little unsurely before recalling just how often her cousin had come back to the temporary barracks scratched, scraped and covered in stone and concrete dust and sticky from who knew what fluids. "Nnnooo… no you didn't." She turned her head as Megan cleared her throat.

"How often, Tegan, have you seen me trying to get away with things from our aunt?" asked Megan, cocking one eyebrow. "How often have I given others a boost or pushed things off onto them when it comes to the supernatural? Heck, how many times have I been right in the thick of the abyssal mess, or have you seen our aunt with that chain gun of hers holding the line, or lashing out with spells at any hostiles around."

"N-never…" Tegan admitted.

"So why," the twins asked in sync, "did you think we'd _let_ you take advantage of family relations for a free ride when _we_ got a rough one?"

Tegan looked between the pair for several moments before letting out a sigh, her shoulders drooping. "I've been an idiot, haven't I?"

"Yes you have," Lauren's voice cut through the silence before it could become heavy. "While I've always said that no matter what comer, they can get at my family after they've pried my heart from my cold dead chest, that doesn't mean I'll _let_ you become so lazy you can't defend yourself or live for yourself if the worst happens." She looked her cousin over as she made her way forward. "And the first two things you're doing, Tegan Helena Jones, are coming to the Dapper Lioness so we can actually catch up, and you're calling your parents. They've been worried sick about you."

Tegan swallowed hard, looking up at her cousin's stern gaze. "Yes ma'am," she whispered.

* * *

Character listing - The idea came up due to randomiser throwing out names where we already had humans while I was filling in the rest of Devonport's shipgirls' civilian names on there.

Tegan Jones - HMS Unicorn (Zephyr (Sally) and Megan Jones)  
Lydia Cunningham - HMS Myngs (Admiral Cunningham (rtd))  
Lilly and Stephanie Briggs - HMS Unison & HMS Unrivalled (Admiral Briggs in the USA)


	167. Rule 10835

_First rule by Phantom Menace. Let me know how he did so I can pass it on._

 **RULE 10835: Yes, we get that what happened at Surabaya was disastrous thanks to an Abyssal infantry and armor assault. But most of the collateral damage to the base and surrounding city could've been avoided if you just used the infantry weapons you have access too in your hammerspace.**

Walker grimaced as she heard a soldier from the Indonesian soldier fall to the ground with a pained scream amid a heavy meaty _smack_ of a bullet striking flesh. She hated ground combat, despite the vivid memories of it from her past life, it was just so unnerving and incredibly stressful. Plus you could clearly see the face of your opponent, it made combat way more personal and savage. Naval combat rarely got up close and personal, she shuddered but when it did.

She shoved the memory down with a growl, she could think about the Battle of New Scapa Flow later and maybe she could finally work up the courage to tell her RON-mates about what had happened to her and the events she had experienced. "Come on Walker, snap out of it!" The harsh thundering voice of Boise, Houston Sr's second in command snarled, snapping her out of her musings.

"Sorry ma'am, it's just been, awhile since I've been in a battle like this." she growled in response as she reached into the cartridge box that was secured to her via strap over her left shoulder. She pulled out a gleaming metallic cartridge with a straight rimmed case and after inspecting the round she slotted the Baalkpan Arsenal .50-80 round into her Baalkpan Arsenal Allin-Silva .50-80 Trapdoor Rifle.

Then she closed the breach, latched it shut, pulled the hammer back till it clicked. Then she rose over the barricade that herself and the rest of her RON was at. The Abyssals had come out of nowhere and were now laying waste to Surabaya with ground forces while a naval force tried to pin them in. There was quite simply nowhere to run and nowhere to hide since war was literally all around them.

The majority of her fellow destroyers were using M1928 Thompson Submachine guns, the lighter and smaller weapons being easier for the _Clemsons_ that formed the majority of DESRON 29 to handle, the heavy bellow of the .45 caliber weapons was just filling the air. A few were using M1903 Bushmaster Carbines that were way smaller and lighter than the regular M1903 but it still produced a hefty crack when it fired. Honestly, probably the biggest reason they hadn't been overrun by Abyssal infantry was because Paul Jones the DESRON Flag had summoned a four-inch fifty.

 ** _BOOM_** , that naval rifle belched its payload and the shell eviscerated what looked like an Abyssal Armored Car that was based upon the Deerhound with a harsh flash of light. The sight of that Abyssal Armored Car going up caused the exhausted destroyer girls to cheer slightly as syncthing shrapnel cutdown any unfortunate Abyssal infantry that had been too close to the vehicle.

"Nice shot!" Walker congratulated as she lined up an Abyssal Commander, her far better night vision thanks to her Lemurian lookouts allowing her to spot the thing. She pulled the trigger and the rifle boomed, the Abyssal dropped with a wail of pain and a spray of blood.

"Thanks!" Paul Jones replied as Walker flipped open the trapdoor breach and a smoking shell was ejected from it. She then loaded a new round, they might just win this with no injuries suffered.

The clatter of tracks caused that hope to die. "Tanks!" she yelled as two of the meanest looking bastards she had ever seen rumbled around the corner. The turrets had elephant ears with a noticeable gun mantlet that were mounted upon wide hulls that were fairly tall and had considerable slopping.

"Firing!" Paul Jones called and an instant later her 4in/50 boomed. The shot crashed into the lead enemy tank and skipped off with an audible _gong_. "Ah _shit!_ " the destroyer said as one of the enemy tanks returned fire.

The shot hit Paul Jones square in the torso causing the destroyer to scream in mortal agony as she collapsed in a heap.

Something hot and sticky splattered across Walker's face as her flagship fell. "BOSS!" Whipple, Stewart, and Peary shouted together. Peary and Pope leaped over the barricade and wove through machine gun and rifle fire. Every now and again Walker could hear one of them get hit.

"Covering fire! If you have a rifle mad minute!" Walker shouted before firing and reloading as quick as she could. All around the intensity of the rifle and SMG fire seemingly quadrupled. Abyssal infantry dropped or cried out in pain as they were hammered by rounds.

"You motherfuckers." Boise hissed as she dropped her heavily modified Orelinkon to the ground and concentrated. Glowing white and blue light pulsed and glowed around her, seemingly coalescing around her. When it faded, Walker's heart went into free-fall with dread.

"Main battery fi-GAH!" Boise yelled before crying out in pain as the other tank fired. The round caught her square in the face, where upon it got into an argument with the Light Cruiser's conning tower armor. Thankfully for all involved, the shell lost the argument and crashed to the ground.

Unfortunately, Boise had already initiated the firing sequence when she got hit, which had resulted in her stumbling backwards. Thus fifteen 6in/47-caliber shells went sailing off into the distance and then the glowing tracers descended, well beyond the confines of the base.

The chaining series of explosions sends fire and shrapnel pulsing into the sky. "Well bugger." Walker sighed as she shook her head at the sight.

What happened next didn't surprise her as her radio picked up pieces of a conversation between her panicky tender Blackhawk and one of the heavies dueling in the harbor. " _Roger, steel rain away. Seven seconds to splash._ " The petite voice of Tillman said in response to Blackhawk's fire-mission order.

Walker slapped a palm to her face as the rattling roar of no less than fifteen 18in/50 caliber filled the air. It seemed only natural that Blackhawk would either due to panic or thanks to sheer rage, call in fire support from the biggest set of naval rifles she could get into contact with. Moments later, the Abyssal Tanks and the majority of the block on either side of the vehicles vanished in a series of towering explosions that blew buildings apart.

After Walker could hear again, she swore she heard Marblehead whooping along with the crack of her six-inchers. But wasn't she on land? The unique four-stacker groaned again, at least the girls of DESRON 29 weren't going to be blamed for the excessive collateral damage that was likely occurring.

"Let's go and _get_ these bastards!" Pope snarled as she stood up and summoned one of her four-inchers. Roughly half of the DESRON followed suite.

Mahan gave her a look and she sighed. "If we survive this, we need to train everyone that you aren't supposed to use naval guns as small arms and need to work on teaching them how to resist that urge." she noted.

"Oh your one to talk! You got your three-incher out!" Walker snarled as she gestured to the crappy little naval rifle that her older sister was holding like a pistol. She decided then and their that she would have two or three shots of Seep after the battle was over. To hell with the fact she would have a monster of a hangover afterwards. Tonight was turning into one of those nights.


	168. Rule 10358

**10358: Don't ever ask "What could be worse than Nagamon" ever again!  
10358a: "You're so cute! She's so cute! Can I keep her!"~ Derbyshire, holding a stunned Nagato.**

 **10359: "How and why did this happen?!"~ Admiral Gogo  
10359a: "Well, since the Derbyshire's destination was Japan and she sank practically in our waters..."~ Summoning chamber officer  
10359b: "You are my new best friend!"~ Ooydo as she realizes Derbyshire's cargo capacity.**

The room surrounding the summoning chamber was filled with people! People desperate to bring in a new kanmusu, one who could help turn the tide of war and win the fight for their home. For their lives. Everyone had a vested interest. From the lowest midshipman to Admiral Goto himself!

 **Her end had been sudden. She hadn't known what had happened until she found herself on that frozen plain. Standing at Davy Jones' side.  
**  
General Quarters! General Quarters!

 **She was not built for war. She was meant for peace. To bring the basic commodities of life, the driver of armies, to the world.  
**  
General Quarters! General Quarters!

 **She had tried hard for two days to keep her crew safe. But in the end she was just too tired...  
**  
All hands man your Battlestations!

 **She would do everything in her power to redeem herself for her failure. She would rise and she would serve the world she loved once more!  
**  
As the din surrounding the chamber quieted down Goto could see the standard bubbling and churning that preceded a kanmusu appearance. Nagato was hugging herself, ready to unleash Nagamon on the new arrival. Goto knew he shouldn't think it and he knew that thinking it would give him cause to regret it later but he couldn't resist.

 _"_ _What could be worse than Nagamon?"_ He thought.

A large shipgirl burst forth from the center, taking one leap onto the edge then down. She spotted Nagato and immediately charged her, embracing the battleship in a hug.

"You're so cute!" She squealed, actually picking up the battleship and cuddling her to her massive upper works.

Nagato was torn between accepting the affection and resisting it. She naturally accepted it and Goto could hear Hopo's cries of jealousy from here.

He gave the new ship another minute before he stepped in, clearing his throat. "Report!" He ordered.

The newcomer let Nagato go and the battleship landed in a heap on the floor. Most other people couldn't hide their sniggers.

Now that she was standing still, Goto was able to get a good look at her. She was fair skinned with dark hair and bright blue eyes that reflected the water of the Tyne. Her rigging was put away but she wore a black T-shirt under a dark leather jacket. Her pants were red and her boots were knee high. She had a build that a supreme body builder would be jealous of and could probably put SEALs to shame! Her earlier statements indicated she had a British accent.

"Sir!" She greeted reflexively snapping to, seeing the stars on his collar.

"Admiral Goto, Japanese Maritime Self-Defense Force. Identify yourself!"

"I'm in Japan..." her voice trailed off as she consulted her compass or whatever it was that shipgirls did when they were confused as to their location.

"Oh I'm in Kawasaki!" She sounded excited. When Goto indicated the affirmative she approached him and held out her hand. In it was a fine sparkly powder. "I'm supposed to deliver this here." She said.

"And what is 'this'?" Goto asked.

"Iron ore of course. I was contracted to deliver it from Sept-Iles. I would be remiss in my duties if I did not." She replied with a faint smile. "This is a sample, for you to confirm its worthiness."

"I see. I am not qualified to accept your cargo but I can direct you to the designated persons. For whom am I directing?" Goto asked.

The girl finally realized she had not properly introduced herself and flushed bright red at her mistake. "My apologies Admiral!" She said. She snapped to again. "MV Derbyshire!" She introduced.

Goto had suspected. Her build to her actions indicated she was an ore carrier. He turned to the summoning officer. "Is this even possible?" He asked.

"Clearly. Since Derbyshire sank so close to our shores and since she was meant to make port here, it makes sense she would appear here." The officer replied.

"I can here you." Derbyshire interrupted. "Talking about a girl as if she's not in the room is considered rude."

"My apologies." Goto smiled.

"Accepted." Derbyshire turned to Nagato and resumed her earlier cuddling. "She'ssocute!CanIkeepher!" She squealed, cradling Nagato between her massive breasts.

Goto groaned. The girl's professionalism had a clear off switch. Then again, so it did for most of his girls. It was just more, manageable.

"You are my new best friend." Ooydo whispered to a distracted Derbyshire.

Goto groaned. This was going to be a difficult girl.


	169. Rule 6643

_Rule by Grathryn_

 **6643\. HMS Fern is to stop sneaking up on the Type XIV and Type XIVD subs. Even though you're a cargo sub, you have more combat capability than they have and they're getting paranoid about underwater piracy or you leading HMS Epona to their supply bases  
6643a. "I'm not; they're just slow and so hard of hearing I literally have to tap them on the shoulder to get them to notice me when we're convoying." - Fern  
6643b. "Fern, you're built at least three centuries after them, you've stealth and engines that are much better than their sonar." – Zephyr  
6643c. The same goes for the other Tree-class, and the Umbral-class, with pretty much any ex-Axis shipgirl**

Keira sighed, watching idly as the bubbles from her breath floated up towards the ocean's surface. She was probably one of the larger submarines around, over one and a half times the size of the Ohio and Typhoon-class subs and nearly as long as the Enterprise CVN-65, most of her mass was devoted to cargo.

Pushing herself to the surface, she pulled out a map and a waterproofed phone. "Okay, GPS says…" she frowned, looking around. "That doesn't look like Greenland, and of course whatever tech they're using, my systems are crapping out on. I wish Alex or Sally's friends would get that patch done. I hate feeling like I'm trying to run a Windows 20 app to pull data from a Windows 2 one." She frowned to herself. "Well, something like anyway," she muttered.

Looking around, she frowned as her sonar picked up a couple of blips a few miles away. Ducking into the water again, she started towards them.

Getting closer, she surfaced again in what should have been their sight range, their IFF returns identifying them as U-460 and U-488, German submarine tenders.

" _So then,_ " U-488 said in German, " _I asked which one she preferred, and she said that she preferred strawberry._ "

"Excuse me," Kiera called out, causing both German subs to jump out of the water.

"Mien gott!" U-460 yelped as she landed again. "Where did you come from?"

Kiera arched an eyebrow at the pair. "Norfolk Naval Yard most recently, though I'm not sure how you'd miss me when I was right out in the open. Anyway, I was wondering if you could check something for me."

The two sub tenders shared a look. "Uh… sure?"

* * *

Another day, another run, this time though, Keira was convoyed with several of the Type XIV tenders out to one of the islands so that their submarines could take on supplies before doing another operation. At least that was what the 'milk cows' were doing, _she_ was going to another nearby island because it had been taken by her sister, Kayleigh, or HMS Epona, after a near miss with abyssals had caused her to Awaken.

The issue was that the Type XIVs were a lot slower than she was. For her and Anna, the trip had taken a good deal less time than it was this time. She was almost tempted to see if she could find a radio station that her systems could pick up so she had something to listen to besides the steady pulse of her sonar echoes. That or drop a hundred metres or so and see if there were any interesting fish to look at.

Kicking her feet absently, she retreated into her mental representation of her old hull. Nodding to her captain, she made her way over to her mental communications array, checking it and playing with a few of the buttons and knobs before the sounds of Malukah's voice started drifting over the bridge, loud enough to be heard, but not loud enough to distract anyone from their tasks, something that was easier said than done.

Checking in with her navigator, and now actually being able to get GPS and having her instruments synced properly, she nodded on seeing they were close to where they were breaking off.

Returning to the outer world, she kicked her speed up, feeling chill salt water rushing through her systems as she pushed towards the party lead. Tapping U-464 on the shoulder, she blinked as the girl shrieked out a number of bubbles before swimming off as quickly as she could.

" **Oi!** " snapped Kiera, her words coming out as bubbles before she remembered her radio. " _Fuck's sake, 464, I was just coming up to tell you I'm breaking off now. I'll probably be waiting for you when we head back._ "

Grumbling to herself, she turned, diving deeper and kicking up her speed now she wasn't limited to the convoy's depth and speed.

* * *

A few hours later with her holds filled with vehicles, fuel and metals, Keira floated in plain sight at the rendezvous point, chewing on a rather cooked fish. It was interesting just how well one could convert energy from one type to another. Fun fact, pulsing sound at a high enough power worked well enough for a microwave under water. Of course that same sound could shake things apart, so it wasn't the easiest way to cook.

Checking her sonar again, she grinned. The Type XIVs were back, meaning they could get going. A moment later she scowled, spotting what looked like a wolf pack of abyssal subs closing in.

Shifting, she mentally ordered her torpedoes and sonic cannons readied, feeling the slight shiver through her hull as the latter unlocked from their travel position.

Eyes narrowed, she checked the sonar returns again, and then a third time just to be sure of targets, before bringing her weapons to bear. Kicking her hydrojets on, she started towards the girls.

A minute later four torpedoes rocketed out of her tubes, rushing towards the furthest back abyssal.

Both shipgirls and abyssals froze as they registered the torpedoes on the move, just long enough for them to cross the distance and tear one of the abyssals apart in a quartet of explosions and a cloud of gore.

Water rippled and churned as the second abyssal took the sound equivalent of getting hit with a fourteen inch battleship gun causing the abyssal to simply disintegrate into a cloud of blood.

Reaching the last, Kiera pulled a heavy knife from her thigh and tapped her on the shoulder. The abyssal spun around only for Kiera to grab her face and stab her several times in the torso before ripping her blade across the pale throat twice.

Letting the corpse fall free, she turned to the trio of submarine tenders, all of whom were watching her with wide, terrified eyes.

" _I did say I was going to be waiting at the rendezvous point, and those were abyssals,_ " Kiera commented, cleaning her knife and replacing it. " _Emphasis on_ _ **were**_ _, now, don't we have a run to finish?_ "

She got a short, scared nod from U-464.

* * *

Italian battleship Littorio scowled as she looked around what could only be a slaughter field. More than twenty men had been killed, mostly by something with claws if she didn't miss her guess, though what that something was, she wasn't sure.

"What do you make of it, Luigi?" she asked, turning slightly to look at the light cruiser Luigi Cadorna, one of Italy's ships that made it through the war, mostly because she wasn't built to handle the fighting.

Luigi frowned, pushing her dark hair back from her face as she crouched near one of the bodies, looking but not touching. "Were it not for the fact they're supposed to be a myth, I would have said some sort of giant werewolf, Littorio," she replied. "Look, see how large the wounds are?"

"Not a werewolf," another voice sounded, making both shipgirls jump, Littorio yelping as she landed hard on her arse. Looking up, she swallowed at the sight of HMS Umbra. "Or at least, not a true werewolf, this was done by someone suffering a beast plague," the submarine girl continued. "My grandmother back at the end of the nineteenth century, beginning of the twentieth, saw something similar."

"H-how can you t-tell?" Luigi asked, picking herself up.

Umbra pointed at the corpse in front of her. "The damage to the corpse, a werewolf wouldn't have attacked that way. This was done by something that was more interested in damage than food or venting anger." She scowled at the corpses for a moment before shifting over to another and using a dagger to pry out a tooth. "There's also this, wolf claws and dog claws are similar, as are werewolf claws and those are more like an amarok's, this looks different. The middle claws of scourge beasts were supposed to be almost raptor like, and this is definitely big enough. The wounds echo it, most of the claw marks have a much deeper injury for the second and third claw, too much to be from finger length.

"There's something else as well," she shifted, using her knife to point. "Rotting flesh in the wounds, werewolves aren't decaying alive."

The two Italian shipgirls shared a look and swallowed hard. "S-so how do we stop them?" asked Littorio.

Umbra stood, looking around the battlefield. "Mercury or silver bullets, weapons edged in the same and a lot of skill at hunting and brawling." She gave the pair a look. "At least if you care about collateral. Fire works pretty well, especially since they're usually covered in fur or dying skin." Turning, she walked away, vanishing into the morning shadows.

"That just happened, right?" Littorio asked, getting a nod from Luigi. "Good," she muttered. "I don't know what's scarier, the fact we've got a rabid monster around or that she knows how to kill them… or that the Admirals aren't making her wear a bell."

* * *

Kiera frowned slightly at the sight of most of the Type XIV shipgirls sitting around in front of the TV at their base. All of them were looking between the screen and each other, discussing something.

"… Yes, she's like one of those galleons…"

"… Killed three abyssals in as many seconds…"

"… Think she might… Epona?"

The last one caught her attention. Her frown deepening, she focused on the girl that had said that, U-489, a brunette subgirl with a worried expression on her face.

"Who knows," U-464 replied. "She says she's a cargo sub, but she killed those abyssals far too quickly, and we know HMS Epona took over a bunch of islands. That's why she was there in the first place. What's to say that ours won't be next?"

"The fact that both myself and Epona have better things to do and more important ones than steal from our allies," Kiera suggested, causing the thrum of conversation to stop dead as every head turned towards her, many of which were stark white at the sight of her then the screaming began.

* * *

"W-we don't want to work with her anymore, A-Admi-ral," a rather shaken U-464 said. Kiera and the submarine tenders were all in Admiral Erich Hartman's office. "Sh-she's a pir-rate or-or a st-stalker."

Kiera closed her eyes, gritting her teeth on an annoyed groan that wanted to escape. "While I'd _love_ to not partner with any of the girls here, Admiral," she said once he had indicated it was her chance to speak. "I don't intentionally sneak up on them, heck, I _shouldn't_ be able to, I'm nearly as long in steel form as the Enterprise-class. Either these girls are completely deaf, pay no attention to their sonar or it's just too far behind what was in use when my hull was designed."

Hartman pinched the bridge of his nose as he sighed. "I can understand their concerns, Fern," he said. "While you're larger than them, you're much faster, seem to have a natural stealth far beyond any other submarines I know apart from U-2511, and for a cargo transport, you're impressively armed by modern standards. I'm recommending to Commodore Glenn that she keeps you and HMS Umbra partnered, at least until the rest of your classes show up." He looked around the office. "And I'd suggest you avoid approaching any other German submarines for a while."

Kiera nodded slightly.


	170. Rule 6327

_Rule by Grathryn_

6327. **I don't know how found it, but please return the clawed gauntlet to HMNB Devonport for return to the Jones family.  
6327a. "Stop playing with the damned thing! Do you have any idea how bloody hard it is to put the corpses you're raising back in the ground with small arms? Most of this lot are people's relatives and they're liable to be pissy if we have to turn their loved ones into chutney to stop them wandering around attacking manikins." - an annoyed Zephyr, covered in zombie bits  
6327b. "We also don't need anything else that thing can raise, nor the WWI tech 40K-style dreadnaughts or scorpion tank. Give the gauntlet back and we won't evict you to whichever layer of hell the thing originally came from before granddad brought it home for lockup." - an equally annoyed Megan.**

For Plymouth, particularly HMNB Devonport, it was actually a fairly quiet day. No strange houses, no escaped slimes, no carriers or submarines picking on one another. In fact the most notable thing for the last few weeks had been the Jones twins' trip to the Philippines and Corregidor along with the attempted (and squashed) siege.

Even the various marines and navy school were quiet.

Of course, that is when things went to hell as all around the base the PA started screaming the beat to quarters.

Scrambling to her weapons and armour, Lauren ran for her assigned station, where she was met with all of her subordinates. "Does anyone know what's going on?"

"Not so far," Susan replied for all of them.

"Ah, good, you're here," Commodore Shipperley's voice drew the group's attention to the older commodore and base commander. "This one is probably more your area, Commodore, particularly given the report on my desk from the local constabulary requested marine support mentioned walking corpses, ones that didn't go down even after being shot repeatedly.

"4, 6 and 9 Assault Squadrons of marines are deploying to the outskirts of the current trouble spots, which seem to be focused around Ford Park and Hoe Cemeteries, however it's likely that the perpetrator has already left and is heading for Western Mill Cemetery," he continued, leading the group through to where a helicopter was waiting. "We don't know much about what happened before, but one thing mentioned was that the person was wearing some sort of gauntlet on their left hand, one with spikes or blades between the knuckles."

Lauren glanced over at her nieces, both of whom were sharing horrified looks. "If it's the one our grandfather encountered in World War I, we might need to recheck our security."

Shipperley looked at her. "You know what caused this?"

"Possibly," Lauren replied grimly. "It sounds like a gauntlet my grandfather encountered in the First World War, one that had the power to raise the dead and was involved in a German attempt to use undead as an army." She frowned, checking her weapon. "If it is _that_ particular one, it should have been in a vault owned by my family because we hadn't found a way to destroy it; even temperatures exceeding what is needed to palladium didn't work on the last recorded try. If we can capture it, we can see if it's made of tungsten, or if it will handle the equivalent to being on the surface of the sun."

Shipperley nodded. "Right," he replied. "We're sending you and your girls to Western Mill Cemetery since we believe that is the next target. Don't use any of the heavier weapons if you can help it, but take the person responsible down… alive if possible."

The group saluted before boarding the helicopter for the short ride to the cemetery.

* * *

Ducking under a swing from a rotting corpse, Lauren slammed a summoned hammer into its gut, sending the former woman flying backwards. "YOL TOOR SHUL!" Taking a breath, she unleashed a stream of flames on a cluster of skeletons, heat shattering bone made brittle by time.

"I find out who did this, I'm recommending they get shoved into an iron maiden for the next few years," snarled Megan as she took the head off another zombie with her blade, booting it away as it continued to claw blindly at her.

"Sis, focus on the undead fuckers in front of you," her sister growled, ripping a disembodied hand from her arm and hurling it away. There was a solid clang as another zombie slammed into her, only to find out that moving even something as relatively light as a destroyer was far out of its weight class. "Piss off, rots," Sally growled, tearing its torso from its legs before hurling it away.

Lauren grunted, as a rotted fist impacted her side while she was distracted. Staggering a step, she turned and belted the zombie away, spinning in a circle to clear a space. "Anyone see the necromancer?" she asked, wiping rotted flesh and gore from her face. Even with supernatural abilities, an understrength platoon still had trouble from several times that many untiring foes.

A series of negatives answered her question along with the sounds of the still ongoing battle.

"Commodore, more corpses coming in from the west!" called Kayleigh Collins, HMS Epona.

"Get your planes over there, Epona, see if you can get eyes on the cause," ordered Lauren before looking at the other girls. "Zest, Zebra, see if you can get a shot with a rifle, we might have to kill the bastard to stop this shit."

The two shipgirls nodded, Zest catching the old short magazine Lee Enfield that Megan tossed her before the other girl used a modified Colt 1911 to paint the rotted brains of one zombie over the one behind it. Unfortunately it kept coming, forcing her to cut it in half and crush it beneath her boots. "Fucking damned magical zombies never sodding drop when they're hit," Megan grumbled.

"You know," Helen commented, grunting as she hurled another skeleton into a wall hard enough to shatter its bones. "I'd hate to see what the horror film nuts think about this…" she paused, ducking a swipe and breaking another skeleton's knee with her foot. "The _other_ horror film nuts, the ones that think Rising Dead, Evil Dead or Resident Evil is likely enough to plan for it."

Her sister ship grunted, booting a male zombie in the groin hard enough that he tore apart. "Probably should get those plans," Emma muttered, sending a number of icicles to pincushion a few zombies. "'Tween the… house… and this…" she trailed off, dancing away from another attack.

"Less talking, more fighting girls," Lauren cut any other exchanges off, suiting actions to words as she dismissed her hammer and conjured an axe to hack a pair of zombies apart.

* * *

Bodies and parts of them were scattered all over the field, several still where they were felled, attacking mannequins of all things, as Lauren stepped firmly on the hand of the person who had led them a chase from the cemetery to near the middle of Plymouth.

Panting and covered in gore, she lowered her sword to point at her captive. "Now, I believe you have something that you shouldn't be playing with." Her eyes narrowed dangerously. "I release you; you take it off and back away, got it?" Getting a scared nod, she let the other up.

As soon as the gauntlet was off, Megan grabbed it and checked it. "It's the one from the vault, or one of the same make," she said.

Sally and Helen grabbed the necromancer by the arms, forcing them onto their front long enough to tie their wrists together and haul them up, Helen taking a moment to yank the mask off to reveal the light brown hair of a girl, who, when her head came back up revealed herself to be HMS Tyrian, with an already developing black eye from where Lauren had punched her.

"You know," Sally said, "I'm fairly sure raising the fucking dead like this could be considered a terrorist action, if not treason, Tyrian." She narrowed her eyes at her captive. "What the ever loving _fucking damned hell_ did you think you were doing?"

Tyrian started to answer, only to stutter to a halt as what had happened crashed down on her, looking around to see the Devonport shipgirls, their commander and the twin of their field commander covered in rotted body parts, bone fragments and assorted other gore and debris.

Lauren watched her for a moment. "Minotaur, Zephyr, take her to the brig at Devonport. Devonport, Umbra, get in touch with Admiral Cunningham and Admiral Graham; see if you can get her sisters temporarily assigned to us. They can help with clean up duty, and if they ask, tell them that Tyrian caused the trouble so they can clean it up, hopefully they'll make her work for it later. Megan, see if you can melt that thing down. The rest of you, go grab a shower and some food. I'll alert Commodore Shipperley that we're done and they can start picking up."

"Sir!" the various shipgirls responded.


	171. Rule 6007

_Rule by Grathryn_

 **6007\. No capturing small islands and setting them up for mines or war factories, while we appreciate the additional resources the fact that a lot of them are in enemy territory and the assaults haven't been authorised means you are doing things illegally which can get you court martialled, particularly since some of those islands belonged to allied abyssal.  
6007a. Wait, who did that? – Minotaur  
6007b. Guys, we've got another one. I think this one was from the abyssal side though, the unnamed carrier from Carrier Command Gaea Mission… the game that was supposed to be a new take on the original and Hostile Waters. – Zenith  
6007c. What gear has she got? – Zephyr  
6007d. Pretty much end game plus, though she can switch some things around like the main and secondary guns and the loadout for the six mantas and six walruses – Zenith**

Kayleigh groaned as she woke, brown hair spilled over her face where she lay on her stomach. "What… happened?" she muttered, pushing herself slowly to her feet. The last she remembered… was getting thrown from a ship during a sudden storm.

No, the storm had just been a cover. Abyssals… had attacked the ship she was on.

" _The island's secure, sir,_ " the high pitched voice made her jump, scanning the area desperately for a moment before she spotted what looked like a large RC toy, a six wheeled one with some sort of gun turret.

" _Good, did you get everything set up?_ " Another voice asked, jerking her head around to see what looked like Tom Thumb's cousin or something, or an animated action man doll.

Another Tom Thumb sized person climbed out of what she had thought was a toy car and nodded. " _Yup, all set and started mining out. As long as we get a factory set up, we can use whatever comes out of there._ " The mini-person paused for a moment, looking up at her. " _Captain, our ship didn't look like that the last I saw,_ " they said.

There was a snort that drew Kayleigh's attention down to where another person had just dropped out of her sleeve. " _Lad, you're a bit out of date. I don't know what you blokes called her, but that there,_ " this fairy waved a pipe similar to her grandfather's at Kayleigh, " _Is the shipgirl of HMS Epona._ "

Kayleigh blinked several times. "Uh… I… uh… I think you've got the wrong girl, I'm not a shipgirl."

" _Lass,_ " the latest fairy said, turning to her. " _Take it from Captain Geary here, you're a shipgirl. Any normal human probably never would have woken up after that swim you had. Besides, there's an easy enough way to check, just launch one of your fighters. We never had many, but those we had damn did their jobs._ "

Blinking again, she opened her mouth and shut it a number of times, her thoughts bouncing around her mind before finally settling onto one big thing. How did she even launch a fighter?

Raising her arms to look at them, a flash attracted her attention to her left arm, which now had a flight deck covering it. Unlike the ones she had seen before, this wasn't set up like a small runway, but a series of pads. As she watched, lights started flashing from one as the cover pulled back, a stub winged craft rising out of the deck.

Moments later its large six nozzle engines rotated down and started roaring, propelling it into the sky.

"I'm a ship…" Kayleigh muttered, watching the craft shift from flying up to circling in increasingly large circles.

The older fairy nodded. " _That you are, lass, HMS Epona, second ship of the Unicorn-class. Now, while I might not know precisely what's going on, we should probably start heading back to Devonport. Don't need to get into any brawls with any sea demons alone. Again,_ " he added quietly.

The first two fairies climbed back into the vehicle, driving it to near her leg, causing Kayleigh to blink as an elevator dropped to the sand from her boot to pick it up, the whole contraption vanishing into her leg as Geary climbed onto her hand and scrambled up to her shoulder.

"This still feels so weird," Kayleigh muttered as she climbed to her feet, making her way to the water's edge. Taking a deep breath, she let it out slowly, "HMS Epona… launch!"

Stepping forwards, she felt energy gather around her, heat burning in her chest as her pulse thundered in her ears.

Her foot hit water and stayed firmly on the surface. The other foot pushed off and Kayleigh could feel water flooding through passages in her hull, shoving her forwards. The light around her coalesced, forming a light breast plate of some metal, a pair of twin 8in turrets mounted on her back as fairies swarmed out to check the materialised quad-50s and 4.5 inch guns. "First squad, launch!"

Eleven more of those strange fighters rose smoothly on the lifts of her flight deck before roaring off into the sky, circling overhead.

* * *

"Do we have to do this every time we come to an island that's not inhabited?" Kayleigh asked, watching as her planes and amphibious assault vehicles swarmed over the small island they had come to. At full size, which she could somehow control for her vehicles and troops, it would only take a couple of hours to cross for the AAVs. Unfortunately that didn't extend to keeping one of her fighters big enough that she could fly to England, and since they were all single seaters, she couldn't be flown either, since she needed to be pulling her full displacement to have them at full size.

"I mean," She continued, "I know you want a support base and all, but seriously? Not only is this slowing us down, but we'd have a support base once we get to literally _any_ country on the planet. I'm apparently a carrier of some sort, and those planes or whatever they are, are fast enough that the last time we ran into abyssal fighters, they didn't even get a shot off."

" _I have to agree with Epona, Commander, we're around Camacha now so we're around two days south of England,_ " Geary commented from his position on her shoulder. " _Besides, we already have at least half a dozen islands and even if they aren't attacked any time soon, we don't have a way of gathering the resources they produce at present._ "

It took a few minutes, but eventually the commander agreed, leading to Kayleigh setting off again in a mostly north-eastern direction so she could hopefully pick up the west coast of either Africa or Spain and follow it around to Britain, or a naval base to transfer there.

* * *

"So what are we looking for out here?" asked Helen as she and Robyn skated along the ocean west of Spain. The pair of them, along with several other shipgirls, had sortied out of various bases along the French, Spanish and English coastlines; unfortunately she hadn't managed to catch the full briefing.

Robyn scowled at the water around them. "There's been reports of _something_ capturing islands coming up from somewhere around the Mid-Atlantic, maybe even southern. The Commander wants us to find out what it is, especially seeing as the route to get to all the captured islands seems to be leading towards England."

Helen arched an eyebrow at her friend. "So we're supposed to… what?" she asked. "Capture it, kill it or something else?"

"Find it, see if we can talk to it, if we can and it's friendly, great, if not, pull the hell out and let someone with more firepower know so they can sink it," Robyn replied. "Last anyone heard it had been seen around Camacha, close to Funchal, about two and a half to four days sale depending on the speed. The abyssal on the Rock of Gibraltar's obviously a bit worried given how often she got creamed most often by dumb bad luck for her."

"Incoming fighters!" called one of the other girls. "South by south west, reading… that can't be right. They're… they're reading as being over 60,000 feet and running nearly twelve hundred miles an hour!"

Both Helen and Robyn's heads snapped around at that before they checked with their own radar operators. "No abyssal craft run that high," Helen commented.

Robyn shook her head, "No, but we did have some war veterans that had that height. That's got to be either one of our Unicorns or someone's abyssalised one. Most of our jets don't roam around that often these days." Scowling, she scanned the horizon, guns moving to ready positions as the planes rocketed past overhead before swooping around for a slower, and lower, pass.

Helen watched with her, her eyes widening as the planes came around again, this time slow enough to see the markings on the undersides of their engine pods, "Holy fuck! I never thought I'd actually see those active," she breathed. "Those are bloody Darkflares…"

"Run up your ensigns, girls," Robyn called, watching the AH-030 MANTAs circling around again. "HMS Zenith to circling AH-030s, repeat HMS Zenith to circling AH-030s."

" _HMS Zenith, this is Captain Stevens of the 720 NAS Hellhounds operating off of HMS Epona. It's good to see a friendly face,_ " the fighter pilot responded, making Robyn's eyes widen.

"You okay there, Zenith?" Helen asked, noticing her friend's reaction.

Robyn nodded, swallowing. "Y-yeah, just… I'm an orphan, but I found my grandfather was in the war, you know?" She got a nod from Helen. "He was an air captain," she paused to swallow again. "Cooper Stevens, of the 720 NAS Hellhounds…" she trailed off as Helen's eyes widened briefly, "Captain Stevens… Zenith, how far away is your carrier?" she asked.

" _You're about three hours from HMS Epona at current speed, Zenith,_ " Cooper replied. " _You okay there, Zenith? You sound a bit troubled._ "

"I-it's nothing, just… not everyday someone gets to meet their grandfather, sir, particularly when they've been on the streets for a while." Robyn replied, waving a hand at the others. "Can you relay to Epona that we're on our way to meet her? Approaching force consists of me and destroyers HMS Kempenfelt, HMS Amazon, HMS Savage and HMS Juno sortied from Devonport."

" _Confirmed, Zenith, we'll relay and escort you in,_ " Cooper said.

* * *

" _Have you found the ship that's been taking islands?_ " Lauren's voice sounded over the flotilla's radio as they steamed back towards Devonport, the new carrier girl in tow.

"Aye, sir," Robyn replied. "The culprit is HMS Epona, second of our Unicorn-class carriers. From what she's said, she Woke up on some no name island in the Atlantic after abyssals attacked her ship. She's been working her way northwards since in an attempt to return home."

There was a pause from the other end before Sally's voice sounded. " _Hey, Zenith, what's Epona's load out? I know most of us return with wartime equipment, but the Unicorns were working below designed capability._ "

Robyn paused for a moment. "Hold on, let me switch you over to her, since she can probably answer that better than I can." She turned to Kayleigh. "Hey, Epona, Devonport actual is on the horn, they'd like to know what your loadout is."

Kayleigh blinked, shifting as they passed through a wave. "My what?" she asked, looking confused.

"Your gear," Helen supplied. "Weapons, defences, carried craft, that sort of thing."

"O-oh…" Kayleigh frowned, chewing her lip. "I-I'm not sure, uh, Captain? Help?"

Geary frowned, holding onto Kayleigh's ear. " _We can only find six each of the MANTA and WALRUS vehicles, along with two twin 8 inch naval rifles, ten twin 4.5 inch naval rifles, twenty quad-50mm anti-air guns and thirty 20mm Oerlikon AA guns._ " He paused for a moment, puffing his pipe. " _Both eight-cell vertical launch shoots are available, but we've no ammunition, the same goes for the four turret launchers, though we can use long chains of the Oerlikon ammunition as a temporary munition source for the six gatling guns, but it'd be useful to give them something better._ "

Kayleigh dutifully repeated that once Robyn had given her the radio frequency.


	172. Rule 6584

_Rule by Grathryn, thank you for the help in the dividers!_

 **6584\. Angelwing, please keep your AI out of government files. We don't know what she found in there, and honestly, we don't want to know, just keep her out of them so we don't have that mess to clean up**

Lying back against the hull of the International Space Station – on the outside of the station, her brandy coloured hair floating along with practically everything else in the extreme low gravity environment, Celyn sighed, resting her head on her hands as she looked up towards the stars. While she was grateful for being a shipgirl – after all, how many people actually wanted to be out among the stars? – The problem was that she just wasn't in a great place for a spaceship girl.

She was relatively low tech, her FTL was only really rated for interplanetary distances and that still took weeks compared to some, and even with her adaptability and being a nine hundred metre long ship, she was still mostly armed with lower capability slug throwers, weak shields and far too many of her subsystems, for reasons unknown, were accessible from her hull surface, right where they could be shot.

In short, apart from Stiletto and the space shuttle girls, she was probably the least useful for anything beyond long system patrols.

Her boredom wasn't helped by the fact that the spaceship girls were supposed to be getting reorganised or that most of the girls seemed to stick with their own groups, and since she and Stiletto were the only two of their group….

"God, I wish they'd hurry the hell up down there," she muttered soundlessly – she was in a vacuum, sound didn't really have a way to carry. Groaning, she raised her head to glare out towards Earth for a moment before letting it fall back with a thunk she felt rather than heard. "Stupid asses not figuring half this stuff out when the first of us Awoke," she muttered.

She blinked as she felt a familiar tingle run through her body before sighing. Rolling herself around, she used the handholds on the station's hull to pull herself towards the nearest airlock. Hopefully Angel actually had something interesting to look at.

* * *

"Where did you say you found this?" Celyn asked, glaring at the computer screen in front of her. On it sat a report that, from what little she had already read, was to do with the creation of several ships in the years leading up to the Second World War.

On another screen, the avatar of her AI, Angel, shrugged. "I was looking up some things from World War 2 that seemed strange," she admitted. "One of which was that HMS Hood survived the Battle of Denmark Strait, another being that several ships seemed to be built out of order."

Celyn frowned, looking over the screen in front of her as she read over the report. "I presume you've been over this," she commented.

"And the rest," Angel replied. "I _am_ an AI, dear; data is easy for me to go through, over or around."

Rolling her eyes, Celyn scrolled through the report, frowning slightly. She had known that there were things about the 1920s and 1930s that had been hidden, after all, everyone had been trying to recover from what they had hoped was the War to End All Wars, then Britain had started pulling in their ships and soldiers, refitting, repairing, retraining and re-equipping them, building up industry, infrastructure and military and civilian vehicles, her history teacher had taught that much, even giving the source as a flag officer in the Navy. It hadn't covered most of what was in this file, most of which was probably supposed to be buried somewhere under lock and key.

"So why did you decide to go through what I'm guessing are supposed to be secure government files?" she asked, glancing over at Angel. "Do you know how much trouble you, and by extension, I, could get into?"

"You're assuming they'll find out, I'm not that foolish as to attempt a simple lift of sensitive data," Angel replied.

Closing her eyes, Celyn groaned, reaching up to rub her forehead. "As interesting as it might be to find out the specifics of some rumours, I'm not dealing with this." Quickly wiping the files from the computer, she set it to purge the free space before leaving the room. "I'm going to see what's going on at the Mars base, it's got to be less likely to cause trouble than this."


	173. Rule 10937

_Rule by Falkeno_

 **Rule 10937:** **We don't know how we missed it but it turns out HMS Furious has been a secret science girl, we are therefore adding her to the science girl watch list, once the relevant admirals have recovered. Incidentally please welcome the Inflexible-class of aircraft carriers.**

Furious hummed as she strolled into Vanguard's workshop, she didn't have to worry about running into the mad shipgirl as she was off doing some tv work in Norway and was spending some time with Tirpitz whilst she was at it, which left her lab unoccupied, and that meant that whilst Furious was up in Scapa, having been dragged north by Admiral Graham, who was paying Collingwood a visit, she could work in private.

This was not the usual form of 'work' because unbeknownst to everyone, Admiral and Shipgirl, Furious was a secret science-girl, something she had long since kept under-wraps, as the title brought more trouble (and oversight) than it was worth and so Furious had kept herself to theoretical work, and small scale experiments that wouldn't catch anyone's attention. Finally, she found what she was looking for, a desk that was hidden from direct view, quickly she set down her laptop on the desk, opened it and hit the power button. But as she was about to sit down when she noticed a metal box perched on the chair. Hesitantly she picked it up, unsure if it was about to blow up in her hands, only to see the word 'Junk' scrawled on it in red marker.

"Ok where to stick this then?" Furious wondered as she looked for a place to stick the box, only to see a pile of other contraptions that had been also labelled as junk "eh, here'll do," she muttered to herself as she gently threw the thing into the pile, before turning to sit down, placing a pair of headphones on and started to work, not noticing the box begin to power up.

...

"Agh finally!" Furious sighed contently as she hit save on her masterpiece, a hypothetical carrier that if it had been built, would have solved nearly all of the RN's problems post-WW2, she'd even managed to craft some hypothetical service careers whilst she'd been at it. But as she removed her headphones, she heard a dull whining noise coming from behind her, turning she saw the pile she'd put the box in, glowing with a strange green light, the box itself being too bright to see. Then lightning sprouted from the pile, arcing all over the room, causing Furious to shield her face on reflex, only to feel a bolt arc past her, and then it stopped, hesitantly Furious opened her eyes, only to find her laptop smouldering, however before she could even begin to fathom the swear words that she was planning to scream, she heard a shrill scream from the box. "Shit!" was all she could mutter before the room exploded.

...

One second Belfast had been walking along, talking with Admiral's Graham and Collingwood, who'd she'd run into when she'd been taking Henry and Frankenstein, who was a surprisingly active cat, for a walk around the base, when a giant column of light had erupted from Vanguards empty workshop, quickly she had scooped the pair of animals up and joined the two admirals in their mad dash to the workshop, only to find thick smoke billowing out of it.

"Here keep an eye on them, I'll see what happened!" Belfast stated handing the Animals to the admirals before dashing into the building. Belfast didn't have to worry about the smoke, her NBC protection that had been fitted in her 50's rebuild made her immune to the effects of the smoke, quickly she pinged her radar so she could see if there was anyone that she'd need rescuing, or to at least find out what had blown up. Weirdly she got back 5 large contacts from a corner of the lab that she'd known to be packed with Vanguards scrapped experiments and other bits of junk, quickly she rushed over, with the smoke beginning to clear so she could now see with her own eyes, and there she saw the familiar form of Furious, her white hair, turned dark grey from the smoke.

But as she approached, the other four figures raised their heads to look at her, The first had dark blonde hair in a midlength cut, blue eyes, a blue shirt, a black waistcoat and bow with a Sam Browne belt; the second had similarly Auburnish-red hair that Belfast did, only much brighter red and considerably longer, dark bluish-grey eyes and the same outfit as the first only the shirt was black, and the bow and waistcoat were light grey, and that she had little maple leaf ear studs; the third had thick brown hair and dark blue eyes, this time with a red shirt and a dark grey bow and waistcoat; finally the fourth one had straw coloured hair in a short bob, light blue eyes, a white shirt, light blue bow and waistcoat and a pair of kangaroo shaped ear studs.

"Um, who are you?" Belfast asked as she approached, trying to work out how big these girls were, only for the first of the four, the one with dark blonde hair to reply.

"I am HMS Inflexible, lead ship of the Inflexible class aircraft carriers, this is Irresistible, Impregnable and Invincible," Inflexible explained, pointing to the Auburnish-red-haired one, the brunette and the other lighter blond, in turn, signifying who was named what. Belfast had however one simple question.

"I'm sorry the what class!?" Belfast asked as she realised exactly how big these girls were.

...

"So let me get this straight, Furious has been a closet science girl this entire time?" Graham asked as he, Collingwood and Belfast sat in Collingwood's office, trying to work out what exactly had happened.

"That is correct Admiral," Belfast noted as she looked over a copy of the report that Resource had compiled when she'd examined Furious and the 'Inflexible's'.

"And that she then designed the hypothetical Royal Navy equivalent to the Midway class, only slightly bigger and capable of using anything up to Hornets?" Graham continued as he got up and moved to look out of the window.

"Yes she did" Collingwood replied as he put down his copy of the same report. "And then she accidentally managed to turn on one of Vanguards failed experiments, which then turned her hypothetical design into reality!" he continued.

"Pretty much sir," Belfast answered as she closed her copy as well, "and to top it all of, she created fictional history's, including having Irresistible sold to Canada before she was completed in 1945 and sold Invincible to Australia in 1976" she added, prompting a sigh from Collingwood.

"Hm, Belfast would you please find Georgie have her forward this report to the Canadians and Australians, and have her get some training organised for the Inflexible's, myself and Admiral Graham have to have a word" Collingwood ordered politely, prompting a nod from Belfast before she got up and left. But as the door clicked shut, Collingwood took a deep breath before speaking. "You want to go first or shall I?" he asked prompting a sigh from Graham.

"Hm, why don't we go together," Graham replied as he turned to face Collingwood, who simply nodded at this.

"Ok then, 1, 2, 3" Collingwood stated calmly, before turning to his colleague.

"YEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!" the pair cheered as the pair began to laugh hysterically as Collingwood threw up all the papers on his desk as Graham did a celebration like he'd just scored the winning goal in a football match. Meanwhile, halfway down the corridor, Belfast let out a little chuckle as she heard the two mean celebrate before she went off to find KGV, wondering how the other Admirals would take the news.

...

Admiral Lombard sighed in frustration as she read the latest reports from the Canadian Government, again someone was trying to cut her funding, and she was getting frustrated, and then she saw the notification that she had a new email, and so expecting it to be more bad news, she half-heartedly opened it, only to find it was a report from HMS King George V, Admiral Collingwood's secretary, sent on his behalf. And so she began to read the report, and as she did so all the frustration drained away, and by the end of it, Admiral Lombard was cackling like Cruella de Vil, which caused the nearby South Dakota, who had been on her way to request some funding for an experiment, to do the only sane thing.

"Nope! nope! nope! nope! nope! nooooooope!" Sodak shouted as she turned tail and fled, with Lombard not even noticing.

...

Admiral Jane Collins sighed to herself as she sat at her desk, she was a slight woman, with chestnut brown hair in a ponytail, dark green eyes and a decent tan, she was young for someone of her rank, and as she had only enlisted as an officer 5 years earlier, and had been promoted to Admiral after being the only person brave enough to take the job, with everyone else having refused after hearing about the shenanigans at the other bases. But they needn't have worried as being the Commanding officer of Australia's shipgirls, one of the saner commands compared to the antics that someone like Goto got caught up in, she had found that she was spending most of her time being bored, there wasn't even enough paperwork to keep herself occupied throughout the day. Collins was about to weigh up if it would be worth it to skip the rest of the day and go off surfing when she got an email.

"Ooh, what do we have here?" Collins wondered as she opened the email finding a long and rather boring looking report, but as she read it, she found an odd trail of drool trailing down from her open mouth, and that was rightly so, after all, it wasn't everyday you learned you were getting a free supercarrier.

...

Admiral Briggs looked at the screen in front of him, it was the report that the Royal Navy had sent out announcing the summoning of the Inflexible class, they're specifications and where the four were being sent. and so after taking a deep breath, he gave his, his navy's and his country's reply to the news that the Midway's weren't the top of the pile anymore, and that they had just lost the supercarrier monopoly.

"FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!" Briggs shouted aloud, and across the country, in San Diego, Admiral Holloway and the Midway's were doing the exact same thing.

 **Authors notes**  
The Inflexibles are a custom design of mine, if anyone's curious I have the specs for them, as myself and the discord server hammered out them a month back, with the knowledge I was planning to do this.


	174. Rule 10976

_Rule by Cedric_

 **10976\. there have been desaparitions of human females in the city lately, to our female human personal, be careful**  
A girl in a blue dress with anchor pattern step down a bus, she was plain looking and together with her body language anybody will conclude that she was a country girl in her first visit to the city.

It was late and the sun was already gone.

There was a rumor in the city that some girls her age have been going missing lately, some say it was work of the Yakuza, others say it was something darker, something related to the war, so the girl should have gone to a hotel to spend the night or at the very least keep herself to the illuminated parts of the city.

But of course, the dumb country girl just has to wander into the dangerous parts of the city.

After all there was no way the girl knows about the rumor.

It take her about an hour of wandering in small streets and seedy bars to realize that she was lost.

Her face and body language screamed concern and confusion.

"Hey girl, are you lost?" Said a punk approaching her, accompanied by another guy with large muscles.

The girl for an instant tensed causing her to almost fall, but managed to catch herself and say that yes she was lost, and ask the punk to please give her directions to a certain plaza.

"oh don't worry, I guide you there personally" said the punk putting a hand around her shoulders, the girl was jumpy however she was glad someone where to guide her and thanked the punk.

They walked the streets for a while taking corners very often followed for the silent large punk that was constantly checking his phone.

Slowly the amount of people in the street start to diminish, until they find themselves in front of a large warehouse with no markings.

The girl expressed her confusion about this, but before she could end she was grab from behind by the muscle bound man and a tissue with chloroform was pressed against her face, while the punk goes to the door and try to find his keys

"where are they, where are they"

"here" said the girl playing with the keys, the muscle man fallen in the floor obviously struck for something strong, also the punk noticed something orange moving very fast in the corner of his vision.

"how?"

"the doses of chloroform needed to incapacitate a ship girl is far larger than anything you can hold in a simple tissue" said the girl.

Then the punk fell to the floor and behind him was a girl in a ninja like orange costume.

"it took shorter than expected, Sendai, can we confirm this guy aren't just lowlife rapist?"

"yeah, their profiles coincide with the abyssal sympathizers, are you OK Admiral?"

"yes" Said Fubuki "However my clothes need dry cleaning, there was something sticky in his hands" then the girl raised her hand and to her signal a group of black ops appear from the shadows.

"girls, be an aware, this is an abyssal lab, they have been kidnaping women they may have turned them into monster, try to capture them alive" Fubuki pulled a gun from under her skirt and put the key in the keyhole "let's go!"


	175. Rule 11033

11033: As a Mother's Day event, we are considering allowing you folks to meet the mothers of certain officers, especially of the admirals. Please be on your best behavior.

11033a: _That means you especially, admirals' sweethearts._

 _Rule by ijnfleetadmiral_

 **A Visit From MomGoto**  
Oyodo sighed, looking over at the figure hunched down at his desk, concentrating on request forms as if they held the secrets of the universe. "Admiral, you have to go home at _some_ point...your Mother is not consipiring with Kongo to plan a huge fancy wedding and then lots of babies."

Goto's head snapped up, his eyes meeting those of the first light cruiser to ever be awarded a Psychology doctorate.

"You're wrong! I saw the gleam in Mom's eyes...it said 'I want grandbabies and here's the girl who wants to give me lots of them!' And I don't think I need to state Kongo's feelings on the matter, do I?"

Oyodo cringed, thinking of some of the 'events' throughout KonGoto history. "No, not really."

The Admiral nodded frantically. "Exactly! If I go home, I don't stand a _chance_! Those two will have me and Kongo married by the time Mom leaves!" His expression had blown right past Franticville and was rapidly approaching Paranoid Junction.

Dr. Oyodo blinked and then smiled reassuringly. "Admiral, I think you're seriously overreacting here...your girlfriend and your mother are not conspiring against you."

Goto scoffed. "Don't think it's only me and Kongo, either...Mom's a natural matchmaker! Remember when I brought her here earlier to show her my office, and Akashi just happened to be visiting you?"

Oyodo blinked, surprised at the sudden change in subject. "Yes...?" Then it dawned on her what the Admiral was implying. _Uh-oh..._ "Admiral, you don't mean that..."

"I distinctly heard her mention kimonos and a dais covered in cherry blossoms, along with 'Isoroku can perform the ceremony...I'm sure he'd love to officiate the marriage of two of his personnel."

The Doctor did her best not to start hyperventilating; while she wouldn't deny she and Akashi shared something very special, neither of them - to _her_ knowledge, anyway - were anywhere _near_ ready for such a step!

"I-I see what you mean..." she trailed off, before smiling brightly. "I have another sheaf of request forms here, if you're interested."

Goto smiled, relieved. "Bring 'em on."


	176. Rule 11038

_Thanks Grathryn, you're a doll!_

 **11038\. For those wishing to use the portal between KC and AL Devonports, please check to make sure it isn't in use or going to be used before you enter. The last time someone did ended up with the Jones twins, Umbra, RN-Javelin and SE-Inazuma & SE-Ikazuchi in some alternate Harry Potter world with the portal out of action  
11038a. It didn't help that that event also resulted in our Naka, Iku, Hibiki, Kempenfelt and Blake in a different one that crossed Harry Potter with Five Nights at Freddy's due to randomly spawned portals  
11038b. Suffice it to say that Raven wasn't impressed by the resultant mess, nor the muck around the Dimensional/Mirror Sea**

Javelin sighed as she looked down at the sleeping form of Laffey. "Oh, come on! I know you're lazy, Laffey, but really? You'd rather sleep than take a look around the alternate Plymouth?" She shook her head, lilac hair whipping around. "Demon of Solomon my ass, you're more like the Lazy Bear of Solomon," she muttered, moving to the wardrobe in her room and digging out a fresh set of clothes for the day.

Pulling out a pair of black tights, a dark green skirt that would cover down to her knees, with a brown belt, a plain green t-shirt and a white woollen sweater, she dressed quickly before leaving Laffey to snooze the day away.

Making her way to the portal room quickly, and still muttering about her friend from the Eagle Union, she had to pull a short stop as she turned the corner and almost ran into Inazuma, who was with Ikazuchi and Z23, or Niimi as the Iron Blood destroyer girl was often called, all three out of their usual uniforms and wearing things more suited to the chill spring day.

"Guten tag, Javelin," Niimi said, with a slight bow of her head. "You wouldn't happen to know where the C-class destroyer girls are would you."

"Hey, Niimi," Javelin replied before nodding to the Akatsukis, "Inazuma, Ikazuchi. As for Comet and her sisters…" she frowned as she thought. "I think they were planning on using the portal. It is their day off so they went with Amazon and Hunter, I think, there might have been others."

Niimi blinked. "Portal?" she asked, "What is this portal you're talking about?"

The other three shared a look before Inazuma face palmed. "That's right," she muttered. "This is the first time we've all been stationed at one base since I took a trip through the Mirror Sea." She paused for a moment, thinking. "Well, after the Sirens stopped trying to break the portal." Pushing her hair out of the way, she looked up at Niimi, who was looking more confused. "Long story short a while ago I wound up in another world where the war actually ended instead of keeping on getting to a point and starting over with the attack on Hood and at Pearl Harbour. They had their own problems resulting in their own shipgirls, some of which helped me until they got a stable route here for long enough for my sisters to get through. Later they managed to make it permanent."

Ikazuchi nodded. "Those of us that go there or get things direct from there remember what's happening more, though the way some found out…" she trailed off, grimacing as she remembered the absolute mess that resulted in Kaga's discovery of things. Fortunately the other Devonport's fleet had people that could slap her down when necessary. "Inazuma likes going there to visit her girlfriend."

Inazuma flushed as the others looked at her before elbowing her sister hard enough that the other oni wound up on the ground clutching her stomach. "Do not, 'Zuchi," she growled. "Besides, you're a game addict, you were planning on running off to drool over the latest games they had over there."

Looking confused, Niimi turned to Javelin, who was shaking her head at the pair of Sakuran shipgirls. "Girls, please, this is supposed to be a day for relaxing, not fighting among ourselves, even if it is a twins' spat," she groaned before moving to help Ikazuchi up. Frowning for a moment, she looked over at Niimi before brightening. "Hey, since Laffey's being a lazy lump and Niimi wants to find Comet, Cygnet and Crescent anyway, why don't we take her with us? We can show her what's on the other side of the portal and get someone else to help prying the Sirens' grips off the Axis!"

"That's… a good idea," Ikazuchi commented, still rubbing the bruise from her sister's elbow as Javelin bounced in place. "Got to stop standing so close to Inazuma when I say things like that," she muttered.

"Yay!" exclaimed Javelin. "Come on, Niimi!" With that, she grabbed the surprised girl's wrist and started dragging her along.

Niimi yelped, struggling against Javelin's grip. "H-hey! S-slow down, Javelin," she stammered. "Scheisse, when did you get so strong?" she asked, her heels digging trenches in the ground as the Akatsuki twins followed.

"That's an effect of us remembering," Inazuma said. Pushing her speed up, she caught Niimi and tugged her into something resembling balance while her sister surged ahead to open the doors to a large building, leading the way down to where a large circular gate stood, looking like it was filled with water that was illuminated from within. "We stay stronger run to run," she continued, barely glancing at the gate as Niimi tried once again to stop them.

"Come on, Comet must have left the gate open," Ikazuchi called before taking a running leap into the portal, her sister and Javelin dragging Niimi in along with them.

Moments later energy burst out of the gate, rattling the walls and buildings of Devonport like an earthquake and the energy field winked out.

* * *

Megan groaned as she came to, pushing herself upright and looking around. "What the ever loving fuck?" she asked the air before spotting the light blue hair of Inazuma lying over what looked like a pile of games or consoles.

Moving to her, she shook the destroyer girl's shoulder, getting a groan in response before spotting another, much younger girl's body sticking out of an older model television.

Shifting around, she carefully extracted the girl and checked her pulse, breathing a sigh of relief as she found it present, if weaker than normal.

"W-what h-happened?" asked Inazuma as she picked herself up. "T-the last I remember was finding the portal open and going through it with…" she trailed off, casting around. "Where are Ikazuchi, Javelin and Niimi?"

Megan looked up at her from where she was placing the younger girl in the recovery position. "Wait, you said you went through the portal when it was already open?" she asked, getting a nod. "Well… shit…. I think Alex based the gates for the portal on star gates a bit more completely than we expected, because we opened the gate to visit you, having you come through at the same time must have knocked things out, meaning we could be bloody anywhere." She sighed, closing her eyes. "Vokunir knows what we ended up doing to the dimensional sea."

Neither of them spoke for several minutes before Megan's phone started playing Skillet's ' _Rise_ '. Pulling it out, she accepted the call, "Hello?"

" _Megan?_ " her sister's voice sounded from the other end of the phone.

"Yup, good to hear from you, Sally," she replied. "I've got Inazuma with me, and some little girl who's going to need medical attention, probably. Do you have anyone there?"

" _I've got Javelin here; she started working herself up into a panic before I managed to calm her down._ " Sally said, frown audible in her voice. " _I haven't heard from Anna or Arei yet._ "

Megan grimaced. "Hopefully the two of them are with Ikazuchi and 'Niimi', who were apparently with Javelin and Inazuma when they used the gate, probably right as we were starting through ourselves."

There was a groan from the other end of the phone. " _We went and blasted ourselves somewhere didn't we? Two lots of us trying to travel in opposite directions must have thrown a wrench into the works._ "

"Probably," she looked down at a groan from the younger girl. "Hey, sis, think you can call Anna and Arei, see if they've got the others with them and if they've seen anything like a landmark for us to meet at? I'm going to see if I can get emergency services here now I know my phone works. Maybe the kid knows enough to ballpark us." Getting a confirmation, she hung up before turning to the younger girl. "Easy there kiddo," she said gently. "Anything feel particularly bad?"

"M-my head h-hurts," the girl whimpered, "A-and I s-see s-something funny."

Megan nodded slightly. "You remember your name, hon?" she asked.

"A-Ayana… Ayana Potter."

"And your address?"

"N-number 4, P-Privet D-Drive, Surrey," Ayana replied.

Megan grimaced, giving Ayana a quick look over before turning to Inazuma. "Inazuma, can you stick with her for a minute?" she asked, getting a nod. Swapping with the oni-like shipgirl, Megan dialled 999, asking for both an ambulance and a police patrol car to come to the address she had been given.

While Megan was busy, Inazuma sat with the younger girl. "You said you see something funny, Ayana?" she asked. "Is it my hair and horns?" She got a very slight headshake in response. "Can you tell me what it is?"

"I-it's l-like there's a-a g-game's HUD o-over m-my vision," Ayana said, wincing a little. "H-head hurts," she whined.

"What the devil is going on in here?" A new voice interrupted the conversation as a large, fat man made his presence known. "You Freak! I thought I'd gotten rid of you! I guess your freakishness brought you back, so I'll have to do better this time!" He yelled, not having seen either Megan or Inazuma before he roared and charged towards the downed Ayana.

Inazuma responded without thinking, while her sister was the kunoichi, she was still a shipgirl. Her first punch broke the fat man's jaw, snapping his head back harshly. Her foot slammed into his stomach hard enough to leave it rippling as he gave a strangled sound of pain.

Shifting out the way of his attempt at vomiting, she slammed both hands down on his back, knocking him to the ground before another blow knocked him out. "A-are human males all like that?" she asked, staring at him with wide eyes.

"Nope," Megan replied. "Hey, operator, you heard that right? The guy saying about getting rid of the girl I told you about?" she asked, pausing as she listened to the reply. "Yeah, well considering I found her with her head in a television, I think I can guess _how_ he had 'gotten rid of her'." She paused again, listening to the people on the other end. "Okay, so we've got them on route? Thanks, hey, you mind doing me a favour? Could you ask the navy to have a representative available and ask your people to pass on where the local base is? I'm more used to Plymouth than London and some of the other girls are from Japan so they're less used to things here. Thanks," she said before hanging up.

* * *

Hikaru groaned to herself as she pulled herself out of the three body pile up and looked around; grimacing as she recognised the place the group had ended up on their unexpected trip. This was not going to be fun. Heaving herself to her feet, she looked around a bit more before spotting a tablet and flipping it up to check the cameras, finding one of them pointing at a stage where a trio of somewhat decrepit animatronics stood. "Shite, Freddy's… this is going to suuuck."

"W-where are we?" one of the other shipgirls asked before grunting in pain. "Iku… get off me," she shoved the submarine girl off her, causing the lilac haired girl to yelp before standing with a groan. "Where'd the ocean go?"

"We're in Freddy Fazbear's Pizzeria," Hikaru answered. "As for the ocean, I think we might have ended up hitting a portal or something."

Managing to gain her own feet, Iku flopped into the only available chair with a groan. "Isn't that the game you live streamed a bit before the Devonport girls came to Yokosuka for training?" she asked, getting a nod from Hikaru. She grimaced. "Can I just say that Iku doesn't like this?" she asked piteously. "I saw that game, and while it was amusing to see you screaming your head off… getting stuffed in a suit isn't my idea of fun."

Hikaru sighed and nodded before looking at the time on the tablet and sighing. "We've got about an hour before they become active, and since we just got dumped here, I'm guessing the doors are locked." She looked around before reaching over to test the doors, that slammed shut with a solid boom that made all three of them jump. "At least that works, and there are three of us, we're already technically 'animatronics'… I think."

"We're shipgirls, Naka," Iku said before turning to the last of their group. "You okay there, Hibiki? I mean, you're quiet, even for you."

"I… don't like this," Hibiki said softly, her usual Russian accent vanishing. "I-I want my sisters and Mama-Tenryuu back, I don't want to be here, or to lose them again."

The two older shipgirls shared a look before Iku pulled Hibiki into her lap, wrapping her arms around the younger girl. "Somehow, 'Biki, it sounds like there's more of a story there than _just_ memories of your ship-self's time… and I know the Russian is something you choose to play up," Iku said as Hikaru released the doors to the room and moved to crouch near the chair. "Besides, isn't seventeen or older past the point most of us want our mothers for comfort… usually?"

Hikaru gave her an arch look. "Would you know?"

"Hey, I'm not the worst one for playing things up, Saito Hikaru, I know people are acting, in part because most of my life before I became a shipgirl, I did it the other way. I told Umbra… Anna, years ago, that I doubted any of us were actually summoned. Now I know the only 'summoned' shipgirls are those we know sank on operations and came back!" Iku snapped, making Hikaru let out a breath in a hiss at the use of her family name. "Actually, I wouldn't be surprised if Sendai's ninja fetish isn't something she plays up because people expect it of her, just like they expect you to be happy-go-lucky most of the time and me to be lewd all the damned time. Heck, even Hibiki's playing things; you saw how quick she dropped the Russian accent here."

"How do you even know my family name?" Hikaru asked.

Iku grimaced. "Ended up accidentally taking some personnel files with me after bumping into someone — don't even go there, Hikaru, it was pure accident and the guy was older than Admiral Goto, not to mention uglier than an Abyssal I-class. Ick. I really hope he wasn't in charge of our files, I don't think I want to know what he might have done with any of them that had pictures, and you know they took them for our medicals." She nodded as both girls made faces of disgust.

"Right…" Hikaru sighed, grimacing slightly as she recalled some things she had seen around the net. "I think right now, we've got a couple of more important issues, like what we call one another if we're going for civilian names, how we go about surviving the night… and getting back home." The last was said a lot quieter than the rest.

"Nakamura… Valeriya Nakamura," Hibiki replied, shifting slightly in Iku's embrace. "I… I'm part Russian, my… original mother was, but my dad was Japanese."

"Sakurai Kanae for me," Iku said before looking down at Valeriya. "I'm guessing, given how much you attached to the rest of DesDiv Six, your parents died somehow." She got a nod from the younger girl. "If you need to talk about it at any time… well, you'd be surprised at how many things I've learned and kept, as the English say, mum, about them."

Hikaru gave Kanae a flat look before turning to check the cameras again. "Right… Kanae, I'm sure you do. Right now though, we've got a bigger issue, namely we've got maybe half an hour before we get assaulted by literal murder machines and… what the fuck?"

Kanae blinked at the expletive since Hikaru usually filtered her language some due to her role as Fleet's Idol. "What's that for?"

"Some boy just turned up and let himself in." Hikaru frowned as she scanned the camera for a moment longer. "Seriously…? Harry ruddy Potter apparently works here? And the way he's acting… either he's got a death wish or something happened."

Both Kanae and Valeriya blinked at that before the latter frowned slightly. "I think… there might be a story about that, maybe? Ikazuchi doesn't admit it, but she likes reading about him, I think I saw a story where he worked at a Freddy Fazbear's, where his aunt was one of the animatronics, the ghost bear?" Valeriya said slowly. "Da," she answered her own question. "He had another aunt in that story; she was one of the children… st-stuffed."

"Damn… that'd be rough, finding out you've got a relation who's effectively a corpse in a robot that's after your blood." Kanae muttered before taking a breath and letting it out slowly. "I think, Hikaru, we should probably stay here, let him come to us and see what's happening."

Hikaru nodded, using the cameras to track the boy through the restaurant. "Maybe he'll know where there are some spare clothes, I doubt you'll get away with walking around in a swimsuit all day here the way you do in Yokosuka."

Nodding, Kanae frowned slightly. "I think I might steal a page from Anna's book if I can, see if I can get hold of a Japanese navy cadet uniform or something to wear," she murmured before looking over at Hikaru. "Might be worth you grabbing some spare clothes, that dress is kind of a neon sign," she commented dryly.

"At least it's not that pink monstrosity that Sussex found… or something the toad would wear." Hikaru shuddered in disgust.

"Toad, what toad?" a male voice came from the left doorway. "Come to that, who are you girls and what are you doing here of all places?"

Turning towards the voice, the three girls got their first proper look at Harry Potter. He was shorter than average, and skinny, though his uniform fit fairly well, an indigo cap covering his dark, wild hair and signature scar.

"I'm not sure if you'd believe us, even with everything you've likely seen," Hikaru started, waving a hand to indicate the office they were in. "My name is Saito Hikaru, my friends –" it might have been stretching the truth a little there, but they were at least colleagues "– Sakurai Kanae and Nakamura Valeriya aren't from around here, and by that I mean not from this universe rather than this country. We're not sure what happened, but at a guess someone was playing with portals or gate spells and managed to drop one right in front of us leading here."

Harry scowled. "You're right, I don't believe you. Why shouldn't I call the police on the three of you?"

The girls shared a look and both Hikaru and Kanae shrugged.

"You're Harry James Potter, da?" Valeriya asked, getting a slight nod from Harry. "Born July 31st 1980 to Lily Potter and her husband James, you lived at Godric's Hollow, Vales for few months under fidelius spell zat alloved Peter Pettigrew, Vormtale, to betray your family to Tom Riddle, resulting in him killing your parents on the eve of your konception, Hallove'en." She shifted slightly on Kanae's lap, watching the boy. "You're fourteen now, getting on for fifteen, youngest of your year… maybe month later and you'd be vith Ginevra Veasley instead of Ronald. Your first year at Hogvarts you, Ronald and Hermione Granger vere involved in incident involving philosopher's stone made by Nikolas Flamel and Riddle possessed Quirrell. Sekond year Lucius Malfoy slipped Ginevra diary holding part of Riddle's soul, it vas used to release and direct basilisk in attacks on students including Hermione. In your zird year, your godfather, Sirius Black, falsely imprisoned in Azkaban let himself out to go rat hunting, resulting in dementors being placed around school. Zey attacked you specifikally three times. Zat year also introduced you to Knight Bus and to Remus Lupin, verevolf who vas friend to your father, Sirius and Vormtail. Last year vas Tri-Vizard Tournament, Barty Crouch Jr on orders from Riddle put your name in Goblet of Fire. You had to face Hungarian Horntail dragon, merfolk and maze zat had acromantula, sphynx and one of Hagrid's mutants in it before finding Goblet and being taken to graveyard where Riddle and Vormtail used you in ritual after murdering Cedric Diggory of Hufflepuff. Since returning to your aunt's, you've been vorking here, where animatronics vere killing night guards, up until you survived veek, something not done since guy named Mike Schmidt, draving out puppet zing. Its attack on you managed to break spell on your other aunt, someone zat's been dead nearly tvo dekades and stuffed into Freddy springlock suit. Zis is your zird veek or later, and your aunt Rose is tormenting Ronald and Hermione bekause Hermione forgot non-magikal vays of getting messages to people or has her head up her backside about obeying Dumbledore. Veasley matron certainly keeps lid on her brood and Sirius is rather stuck… zough idiots forget zat zeir guards kould be more known to you and kould pass messages for people."

"Okay… that's the most I've heard out of Valeriya at one time since I've known her," Kanae commented, getting a nod from Hikaru and a raised middle finger from Valeriya.

Harry, for his part, stood stunned in the doorway. "H-how do you know all that?"

"It's a little hard to explain," Hikaru started, fiddling with the orange overdress she wore. "The short version though, is that what is considered fiction in one world can often be real for another. Where we came from your adventures are considered fiction… but even before we wound up here, we knew that those things could exist. We've got people that have the abilities of ships that are supposed to be fictional helping defend our world from monsters that would probably make Riddle crap himself."

"That's not even getting into what can happen on some naval bases. Corregidor is haunted to high heaven and Devonport, or at least the girls in the Kanmusu and Schattenjäger Fleet attract supernatural problems including demons," Kanae pointed out before nudging Valeriya off her lap and rubbing her thighs. "Need you to shift a bit, Valeriya, my legs are going to sleep and eleven year olds aren't the lightest things to sit on someone's lap." She frowned slightly as a thought occurred to her. "Actually… Raven… she's often experimenting with portals and gates; she might have mucked up and brought us here since we were heading to Devonport from Portsmouth."

She looked up to see Harry's confused expression and what looked like the rabbit and bear animatronics, Bonnie and Freddy if she remembered right. "Yeah, it's confusing, and we're only touching on things… right now though, you got any spare clothes around here? While Valeriya's okay and Hikaru can probably stand another couple of days in her dress, I doubt anyone wants to see me wandering around in a swimsuit, unless they're more interested in my body than me."

"Says the 'lewdmarine'," muttered Valeriya, getting a slight nod from Hikaru, who was close enough to hear it.

"Ugh… I wish I knew who first started that. I swear one of these days I'll pull being a nun out again just to creep you lot out." She sent a flat look at the other shipgirls before huffing out a frustrated sigh and running a hand through her hair. "Besides, do you two know how much all of us in the subpens hate having to hike around? They don't give us shoes and walking on concrete doesn't do your feet any good, even when our skins are hardened." She snorted before closing her eyes and sighing. "There's also the fact that the only Admiral that actually seems to give a damn about her subs is Vice Admiral Glenn, I mean would it be so damned hard to just give us honest praise once in a while?"

Anything that might have been said by anyone else was interrupted by the air itself tearing open to reveal what looked like the mouth of the river outside HMNB Devonport. "Hey, it looks like you were right, they're here!" A female voice called from the tear a moment before a girl's head topped with brown hair appeared in the gap. "You girls caused a bit of a scare when you vanished like that; it took us a bit to track down where the portal sent you. Hi, Robyn Stevens, Commander of the Kanmusu part of Devonport's fleet, sorry about whatever mess happened, the portal we had set up went into some sort of feedback loop and started popping rogues all over the place. We're only just getting things back together."

"Yeah?" Hikaru asked. "Well, we're actually _lucky_ we hit this dimension considering where we ended up. Remember the stream you, Megan, Sally, Rika and I were involved in a few years back?" She asked, getting a cautious nod from Robyn. "We wound up in a version of _that_ pizzeria. Fortunately after the bad shit stopped… at least mostly, it's a Potter universe, I doubt we missed all of it." She frowned, looking up at Robyn. "Any chance you can get us out of here now?"

Robyn shook her head. "Sorry girls, but this is a one-way portal unfortunately, seeing as we didn't know what might be here if we didn't find you. You're stuck for a bit. On the good side we can get things to you and talk to you, on the bad, you're not coming home until we've got a DHD or that dohickey from Sliders for you, these are kinda like star gates in that respect. The main one was designed off one and it went sideways for some reason."

The comment made Hikaru and Kanae mutter a number of choice curses as Valeriya grimaced at the implications.

"Yeah, the Admiral wasn't happy, we're down both captains, Umbra and Yuudachi as well because they were supposed to be going over to the Azur Lane universe when shit happened," Robyn shook her head and sighed. "Your admiral's been informed and the detached flotilla will be sticking around Devonport until you get back. We've got some packs being set up for you three so you can keep in touch and blend in a bit."

"Uh… excuse me? Miss Floating Head?" The interruption came from the yellow chicken animatronic. "What is going on?"

Anything that Robyn might have said in response was interrupted again, this time by a lot of loud shouting and growls from her side of the portal, resulting in her pulling herself back through to see what was going on, only for two more girls, one taller with black hair and cat ears, the other shorter, her blonde hair done up in a ponytail getting buried by a massive dog-like creature.

"Blake? Helen? You two okay?" Robyn asked as she stuck her head back through the portal.

"Mostly… ow… what the bloody hell got into the mutt, Helen?" the cat-eared girl asked, pushing herself up. All she got from her companion was a muffled grumble.

Everyone else looked at everyone else as Robyn sighed and shook her head. "Great," Robyn grumbled. "Now I have to tell the rest that we're down another two. It's a damned good thing the Japanese girls are sticking around until Alex _fixes_ this bloody mess. Oh, and Helen, expect an earful from both Alex and Jennifer, your girlfriend won't be happy with you getting stuck in an alternate dimension and I'm fairly sure some of that stuff is more fragile than you are." That got another grumble from the girl buried under the dog as Robyn shifted to haul through a few packs and drop them to Kanae. "Here, girls, they should last a couple of weeks local, there should be something roughly your sizes."

So saying, the portal abruptly blinked closed, leaving several people blinking. "How… does this happen that often?" asked a stunned golden Freddy, who had just joined the crowd in the office.

Blake nodded. "Often enough that we've got bags ready to go. Any of those named?" she asked, turning to Kanae.

Kanae nodded. "Yeah, don't know how they would have gotten our measurements, but there's one here for each of us."

"We visit each other, how often, Iku?" the pained question came from Helen as she forced herself up from under the dog. "Get… off… Farkas," she groaned, shoving the brute away. "Ruddy thick skulled amarok," she groaned, curling up again as the giant wolf started snuffling at her.

Taking a bag from Kanae, Hikaru sighed, closing her eyes for a moment. "Well, since we're here, maybe we should go to the main dining room and figure out where to go from here. Buddha only knows how long it'll take Alex to make a way to open the portal from this side."

Valeriya nodded as she took her own bag. "Da and maybe we can avoid some issues coming up." So saying, she slung her bag over her shoulder and started out the opposite door to the one most of the animatronics were crowding.

* * *

Inazuma watched as Javelin threw herself at Niimi apologising almost as fast as she could breathe would probably have been amusing if it weren't for the fact they were stuck in some alternate dimension than either of the ones they knew.

"Does anyone know… where we are?" Ikazuchi asked, a frown on her face. "Because… I am lost," she admitted.

"You're worried as well," Inazuma commented. "I haven't heard you pause and trail off like that in a while."

Megan shifted slightly from where she was sitting. "From everything so far, I'm guessing a Potterverse, with a female Potter."

Anna nodded, snuggled into her girlfriend's side. "Ikazuchi and I wound up in a place called Gamer's Nostalgia with a Beth Potter and her niece, they're in there now." She indicated the hospital they were outside. From what I got, the girls were split up so at least one of them would survive if things went sideways but Dumbledore placed Ayana with the Dursleys, not sure why." She shrugged.

"Maybe we should ask him if we meet him," Sally suggested before looking over at the last member of their group, who was sitting quietly, seemingly just watching something in the distance. "Arei?" she asked. Getting no response, she moved to poke the girl, causing the blonde to yelp and jump in her seat. "What's got your attention, Poibote?"

Arei sighed, turning to them, "I just… how are you girls handling this so well?"

Ikazuchi cocked her head. "What do you mean?"

"Like, you're all, apart from Javelin who's too busy apologising, so calm about being stuck in another world. Who's to say we'll ever get back to our own worlds?" Arei asked, looking between the group.

Megan and Sally shared a look, communicating silently before Sally turned to Arei. "We're probably more used to this sort of stuff, but we're still worried, Arei, we're just better at covering it."

"Every time we use the area most of the supernatural dwells, we're moving about half a dimension over," Megan said. "Then there's the fact we've jumped to Azur Lane a few times and vice versa, and mine and Sally's mom is from another dimension. You know the song Tir Na Nog? The place is real; it's sort of half way between _real_ Earth and the land of the Fae, where you wind up if you stumble into a fairy ring. We're fairly sure our parents are there or in the Faelands, which is where Mom's from."

Anna nodded, leaning up slightly. "There's also the Dream, my family have been dealing with that realm for at least a couple of centuries. A lot of Hunters wind up there if they've some Beast blood or Ancient blood in them and a lot of the area is still linked to another realm which is still in the Victorian period comparatively. My great-gran spent years bouncing back and force from it before she was killed."

Reaching over, Sally gave Arei's hand a squeeze. "There's also the fact we've got our aunt in command, and she won't leave us, nor will Alex or the others. They'll get us back. Might take a while, but it'll happen."

* * *

"Alright, so what's going on?" Freddy asked after the group had made their way to the dining area and claimed one of the larger round tables for themselves, not that it would have mattered since it was after one in the morning. "I mean, we saw that light show and two people came out of it, but the rest…" he trailed off.

The girls shared a look before turning back to the bear. "It's a long story, the short version is that we —" Blake indicated her colleagues "— are fighting a war against what is in effect undead or demon corrupted versions of ourselves. If anyone knows the specifics of what started it, they aren't talking, but around our version of Earth there is something like twenty-to-fifty thousand girls and women fighting dark shadows of themselves or others like them and that's not counting the girls in space.

"Some of the girls tend towards the sciences, some more than others. Alex is the girl at Devonport that focuses on science, often to do with other dimensions or supernatural beings, which resulted in her making a portal that led here, trying to track a rogue one actually." Blake shifted slightly, shrugging. "Beyond that, there's not much I can tell you."

"I could," Helen said, sitting next to Blake. "At least with regards to some of what might happen, this isn't what I know."

Valeriya frowned and nodded. "Our world… has fiction of yours; I remember some from when my sister read the story."

Harry looked between the two girls hopefully. "Please. Nobody's telling me anything this year."

Helen and Valeriya shared a look before Valeriya motioned for Helen to start. "Okay… I don't know how much applies, but what I do know is this," she started, explaining what she could remember of the movie series based on Harry's past, something that took them over an hour to get through even in as little detail as Helen could recall. "Which brings us to know, where I'm guessing things break off properly, the movies had you hanging around Privet Drive trying to get information from news services until a pair of dementors attacked you and your cousin in the park. They were sent by the Ministry to try to silence you and the one that sent them tries getting you convicted as an adult for underage sorcery before she takes up the position of DADA teacher and screws things properly until Vo…" she trailed off, glancing over at Valeriya. "Tom managed to get a vision through to you about Sirius being tortured there resulting in a fight through the Ministry's lower levels that got Sirius killed and Dumbledore finally reveals that there's a prophecy that Tom triggered that keeps him trying to kill you. It's pretty much standard hero stuff. Bad guy rises, causes trouble, does something that brings up a hero, they fight, one falls to the other, the end."

"That's… a lot to take in," Harry admitted, only to sigh as his aunt hugged him.

"Da," Valeriya nodded. "But this universe is different. The story I know, which seems to match what I recall of the beginning is that you worked here for two weeks, drawing out the puppet and you and Rose destroyed it." She frowned slightly. "With luck, we will see no more of them in our time here, but it is the puppet that changes things the most. Germany, in the Second World War, possibly in the first as well, tried to use undead as soldiers against their enemies. As big and powerful as they were, the more sensible members of the Reich knew that she could not fight the combined Commonwealth countries, the remnants of the European conquests, the Soviet Union and America at the same time, even with some forces diverted to other theatres such as fighting Japan in the Pacific or through Africa and Italy."

Blake nodded slightly, frowning. "Our world, Germany tried in the First World War. Captain Jones – both of them – and Vice Admiral Glenn had an ancestor fight zombies in the trenches. There's even video footage, and this is going back before makeup and effects could pull things off, even with old cameras accounting for some."

"Definitely wasn't," Helen put in. "Tyrian managed to get her hands on a similar gauntlet, if not the one that their great-grandfather locked up. We had to wade through undead to catch her, and the Commodore slugged her in the eye hard enough to make her hit the deck." She shook her head and snorted softly. "Fuckin' nasty, not to mention we needed long ass showers after. Rotted corpse is not something pleasant to have on you."

Valeriya nodded, "Da, but in this world, Hitler likely turned to Grindelwald for his army and Grindelwald came up with the puppet. After the war, it eventually made its way to the original creator of the Freddy Fazbear chain, and likely provided some of the method of making the animatronics, which accounts for their soul capture ability." She grimaced, taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly so she could focus. "Later it attracted the one that killed your aunt and her friends to its service. Not long after, Foxy was brought into action for some reason and ended up biting the day guard of the time. The cousin of a teacher, one of the students of that teacher is cousin to Sally-Ann Perks in your year at Hogwarts."

"Five Nights at Freddy's 2… the location there had these guys wrecked and the toys active," Hikaru said softly. "A lot of people speculated it was the guy you played there that got bitten, and there was a lot of speculation as to the biter, though most of the ones I found went with either Foxy or Mangle." She winced as Foxy grimaced at that.

"Aye, it were me," he admitted. "I thought he be the one that killed me an' the others."

Nodding, Valeriya shifted slightly. "Six years passed, roughly, then this place hired a guy named Mike Schimdt." She paused as the animatronics shivered. "His daughter is friends with Sally-Ann's cousin. Thing is, that's not all that's happened here. The guards are still around, mostly docile, but still here thanks to the puppet. Likewise this isn't the only place with animatronics, and a number are active similar to this group. Beyond that, Umbridge will likely be taking the open gap in Hogwarts, and she's likely already sent dementors to find you. Without controls, they're going to get hungry on route, resulting in more kids haunting the 'toys'. We can't stop it, because we don't know when they're let go or where they will travel."

"We can't stop it, but we can ensure that they never feed again once they get here," Helen put in grimly as Farkas growled. "I'd also say let Farkas eat the frog faced bitch, but I don't know if _his_ stomach could handle her."

Valeriya smirked at that as the other shipgirls nodded. "Well, one dementor will be destroyed by the wards here, hence the toys being haunted. As for Umbitch," her lip curled up. "There's another with Rose's teleport trick, it doesn't agree with her, seriously doesn't agree with her."

"How bad are we talking?" Kanae asked, having been silent until know.

"Best guess? Like she'd been rotting for at least a few months to a couple of decades," Valeriya replied. "At least that's what I recall…" She grimaced. "My sister had a few nightmares about that scene. Undead woman teleporting in holding a skeleton that promptly falls apart and looks like it's been dead awhile. Not a pretty picture."

"Can't be any worse than that thing Megan took down a couple of weeks back," Helen muttered, "giant skeleton that bled literally everywhere that some idiot woke up in a barrow on a no-name island somewhere." She ignored the looks she got from everyone else as she leaned her head on her arms.

Freddy looked around at the other animatronics before sighing. "Is there anything else we should be aware of that's coming?"

Valeriya frowned, muttering to herself as she tried to recall anything else. "I think… a scar vision from Tom, followed by the undead guards evicting him from your mind and revealing that Rose and the other can find his anchors and that their movement trick is as bad for soul anchors as people."

"You know," Helen raised her head slightly. "We could possibly point some of them out now; maybe get Dumbledore to start looking into some."

"Do you remember what they are?" Blake asked, turning to look at her younger companion.

Nodding, Helen straightened. "Scar, which Valeriya said gets dealt with by undead, diary is already burned from basilisk venom, there's a locket at the Black home… Sirius is there; maybe he can order the elf there to hand it over to someone and tell the tale. Um… Sirius' cousin kept a goblet or something in her vault, there's a diadem in a room on the seventh floor of Hogwarts, the House Elves should know how to access it… the last is Tom's snake… no, wait, there's a ring as well at his mother's residence. You were near it when he ganked you for that muck the end of last year." She pointed at Harry.

"Also destroyed at Christmas if things go along the lines of the story Ikazuchi read," Valeriya commented. "Beyond that, Umbitch is useless and looking to cause you trouble so she can 'shut you up'. Russia has a history of political murders more recent than many." She shrugged her shoulders before pushing her white hair back over them and shaking her head. "I don't think there's much else, bar that you may well meet the daughter of the last person to survive for longer than a week here… and I think the father also has a guardian shade, another teen the puppet caused the death of."

Blake shook her head slowly. "It's a damn good thing that thing is gone… actually, what did happen to it?"

"I sent it to Sirius in an expanded box, hopefully he'll know how to deal with the thing and its 'Joy of Creation'." Harry shivered at the memories. "That thing was creepy to say the least."

"Probably a good idea," Blake commented as she shifted, grabbing a slice of pizza from the plate Chica had brought out at some point. "There's more than a few things that we've encountered that are either locked up or have been destroyed simply because they're too dangerous to be left around."

"Um…" Chica broke in to the discussion. "I have a question. What… are you? You talk about things that are straight up strange, and when you showed up earlier, you called each other different names, plus you're almost too accepting of things, like you already know about worse than haunted animatronics like us." She waved at herself and the others.

The group shared looks before Hikaru sighed. "We're what are called kanmusu, kantai no musume, daughters of the fleet or, for most, shipgirls." She grimaced at the confused looks from Harry and the animatronics. "It's not easy to explain, but our world… we're fighting what might be a losing war against ships from the world war period, ones changed into – mostly – humanlike monsters. Ordinary ships can't handle them, but there are those of us who…"

Kanae frowned slightly as Hikaru trailed off. "I think she's hit the 'difficult to explain' bit. Long story short, everything, every creature, place or object can in theory have a soul. Japan, where myself, Hikaru and Valeriya are from, still believes in that a bit more commonly than the Western World. There's a specific type though, a tsukumogami, which is an object that, if kept around for a century, particularly in the hands of people that care for it, will develop its own soul." She nibbled her lip for a moment, thinking things over. "Weapons of war, particularly warships, can actually develop them faster because there's more people involved and more likely high energy situations. Most actual ships have at least a hundred crew, so can become tsukumogami within a year or so, and most of us are from the world war period, making things more likely. Thing is… for us, we were born rather than summoned." She sighed, causing her breasts to bounce slightly. "I am Sakurai Kanae – in Japan, we still often use family or clan names first, so most people would refer to me as Sakurai, only close acquaintances or closer would refer to me as Kanae, and then often with an honorific – however, I'm also the soul of the IJN I-19 submarine. In World War 2, I was credited for sinking USS Wasp and USS O'Brien before being sunk myself thanks to depth charges from USS Radford, after that, I don't know what happened, but I was born and named Sakurai Kanae in 1998. Things happened that resulted in my attempted suicide, at which point I woke up knowing I was I-19 and that Japan needed me again, to hold against the Abyssal threat."

"HMS Blake," Blake introduced herself. "Or Blake Raikes, I'm probably one of the few that had a name that matched the ship and that was mostly because of these." She pointed to the black cat ears poking out of her hair. "My sister and I were among a group rescued from a genetics lab after we found out some people were mucking with things. The majority of the Minotaur and Lion-classes were among them along with a sister to one of the Fletcher girls."

"Helen Kerr, HMS Kempenfelt," Helen introduced herself.

"JMS Hibiki, though you probably should call me Valeriya."

"Saito Hikaru, or JMS Naka," Hikaru followed up from Valeriya. "We're probably mostly going to stick to our civilian names since I doubt there's any shipgirls here, and we'll probably get enough trouble just being here, much less bringing our ship selves into things."

Harry nodded slightly before blinking. "Hey, wait a minute. Why are you telling us this? I mean wouldn't it affect the timeline or something?"

Shrugging as she stood, Kanae turned to Blake. "This one's all yours, I'm going to get changed," she said, grabbing her pack and heading for the kitchens so she could get changed.

"Honestly?" Blake asked after rolling her eyes at Kanae's departing back. "Us being here has already changed things, and if there are changes to the timeline, time will probably attempt to devolve things to a predestination paradox or a grandfather paradox." She shrugged. "It's pretty flexible as long as you don't try to remove the reason for your travelling in the first place. At that point, well, either it'll stop the 'fix' from happening similar to Wells' Time Machine, remove you from the timeline or cause a break point where things split into two different lines, but likely force you to at least experience the original run before anything else occurs."

The animatronics shared a look before Rose asked, "So what do we do now?"

Valeriya frowned slightly at Rose. "Have you done your teleporting thing to your nephew's friends?" she asked, getting a nod from the undead bear. "It might have worked better if they weren't aware of that, but… she turned and pointed at Farkas. "What's say we give them a wakeup call they'll never forget?" Seeing confused looks from the others, she smirked. "Helen, remember that time that Alex managed to open a portal near the menagerie and some demons got out?" she asked, getting a blink followed by a slow smirk. "Farkas and Aela were on patrol, they woke up the whole compound when they found those demons and scared the hell out of a lot of the greenies."

"Scared the shit out of everyone, including you, Val," Helen commented, only to be waved off by the half-Russian shipgirl. "Probably be an idea to do it somewhere that's not going to disturb people though," she continued before turning to Hikaru, who was looking at the table and nibbling her lip. "Something on your mind?" she asked.

"Just thinking," Hikaru responded. "You and Valeriya mentioned a prophecy, do either of you remember the wording?"

Helen and Valeriya shared a look, both frowning slightly. "I think it went something like; _The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches ... Born to those who have thrice defied him, born as the seventh month dies ... And the Dark Lord will mark him as his equal, but he will have power the Dark Lord knows not ... And either must die at the hand of the other for neither can live while the other survives ..._ " Her frown deepened as she thought over the lines, "As I said before, pretty much standard hero stuff."

"Pretty vague too," Hikaru commented. "I mean there's been at least two 'dark lords' known in the UK in the last century, right?" She got a nod from both younger girls and Harry. "Not to mention elsewhere in the world or those that didn't really register. There's also the rest of it, what's meant by 'thrice defied him', without emphasis it could be as simple as telling someone off for being a brat or refusing to give them change. I know of four calendar variants that all have different 'seventh months', how does one not 'live' while the other 'survives' and what the heck is this supposed power?" She shifted slightly. "It sounds almost like this prophecy, if it actually is one, could fit a number of situations and only Tom being a twit resulted in it being taken to mean him and Harry here." Leaning back, she rubbed her arms under her long gloves, frowning at the table. "Is there ever anything that says that something has to happen within a time limit of a 'prophecy' being spoken?"

Blake frowned. "Now that you mention it… I've come across a few things with prophecies as part of the storyline, and more often than not it's said that prophecies are better recognised after the fact." Her ears flattened as she ran a hand through her hair. "Come to that isn't the most famous prophecy something that could have been completely ignored and probably wouldn't have done shit? I mean you look into the history of the term Oedipus complex and you'll find out about the actual character, or person, having been raised outside his family because some old codger rattled off a load of crap that eventually – if you squint at it sideways – could have been prophetic. Something about him killing his father and marrying his mother, which only came about because he didn't know they were his parents. If he'd been raised by them, he likely would have married some princess from another city state or something."

"God of War, the Eddings books that relate to Belgarath and a few others as well," Kanae's voice drew the group's attention to her as she came back in, wearing loose black jeans, black combat boots and a blue shark print t-shirt. "Hach has a massive library, so the rest of us steal them when we're bored. It's not really as if she reads them or at least not all at once." She frowned, slinging her pack under the table and taking a seat before pulling her hair loose of its usual style. "Actually, remember that whole mess with the four storms that we ended up dealing with clean-up for?" she asked, getting nods from Valeriya and the British girls. "About a month before we went out on the town, I didn't see where she went, but when she came back she threw a bag of second hand books across the room and went to scream into her pillow about people trying to force books on her. Can't honestly say I blame her. I think Devonport is one of the few places everyone gets to let off steam without having to wear masks." She snorted softly. "Actually when we were there after everything, while DD6 and some of the Yanks hung out with the Z-class, I hung out with Anna and Robyn, but went to bed alone." She smiled slightly, running her fingers through her hair. "Robyn's actually a pretty good girl, though she likes pinching ears for some reason… or doing that 'wet willy' thing."

* * *

"Any luck?" Lauren asked tiredly as she sat in the labs at Devonport, watching as Alex McAllister, or Raven as the silver-haired girl was commonly known tweaked various monitors and dials.

"We've found Admiral Goto's girls," Alex replied over her shoulder. "They're in what is apparently a cross-over dimension of some sort. The others are probably close to that, relatively speaking," she continued, scowling at her instruments. "The problem is the dimensional sea is a complete fucking mess thanks to whatever happened in the wormhole. We're honestly lucky that we haven't lost anything else so far and it's stuck with people, if it starts getting worse we might see countries being shifted around as bad as or worse than the Mage Storms that Lackey wrote about in her Valdemar series."

Lauren scowled at the response, her stomach roiling at the thought of what else could happen. Her brother was missing along with his wife, now both her nieces were stuck somewhere else for who knew how long.

"I'm going to probably need everyone on this one," Alex's voice cut across her thoughts. "Even if it's just to bounce signals so we can attempt to triangulate the girls' position in dimensional space, along with any notes on anything that might help us track them specifically." She looked over at her admiral. "Admiral, we'll find them and get them back, that I promise, but I'm going to need as much help as I can get, preferably from the Azur Lane girls as well, and access to anything we've got hidden away to do with dimensional space or travel."

Lauren paused for a moment before nodding sharply. "Do it, Alex, whatever you need. I'm not losing more of my family, or any of my best because of a fuck up we should have thought of sooner. Like hell am I losing this planet because of it." Getting to her feet, she stalked out of the lab to see what else she could do.

Turning to the monitors, Alex took a breath and let it out before starting up a multi-way conversation with the other science girls around the world. "Girls, drop whatever you're doing, we've got a priority one we need to get on before we start seeing dimensional issues up the wazoo," she said bluntly ignoring the surprised looks on the faces of the twin Yuubaris, SoDak, Phoenix, Vanguard and everyone else.


	177. Rule 11050 (by me!)

**11050: Since when did the submarines acquire pilot's licenses?  
11050a: On that note, Southwest would like its fleet of Boeing's back!**

 **11060: We apologize to everyone on duty at JFK as the sub girls have decided to return** ** _all_** **the planes they stole** ** _all_** **at once. And we do mean** _ **all of them!**_ **  
11060a: "Help me..."~ Steve  
11060b: You do know those planes are grounded right?!  
11060c: "Not if there's no passengers in them!~" Unrepentant sub girls  
11060d: *Thunk* Admirals Briggs, Holloway and Richardson all do an epic head bashing to their desks**

Fleet submarine Archerfish giggled to herself as she approached her target. The plan had been devised by Wahoo and put into motion by Arkansas. Both said submarines were moving to their targets. This operation was a massive undertaking. 753 submarines, all fully licensed to fly a 737. 101 cities, eight countries and all the aircraft needed to be stolen at the exact same time!

Part one of the plan had been put in motion months ago, when a substantial bribe to a clueless Vanguard (girl was sold on the Iron Maiden tickets the sub girls sold her, tickets that so fortunately happened to have her seated right next to her chosen love!) got the science!girl to hack into Southwest's network and reschedule the entire fleet's itenaries so that all the planes were situated on the ground for a 5 minute span. The sub girls would have to move fast! Stealth was never a problem. Airport security had no idea they were even there. The ramp agents had no idea they were there. Admittedly there was some difficulty. Chicago and Dallas did offer a minor challenge. Some airplanes were easier to sneak up on than others. Archerfish had one of the easier ones. Being parked in the middle of the Mojave desert was an advantage in that there was limited security. The one catch, the plane she was about to steal had been mandatorally grounded for 2 months. Was it airworthy, technically not. But all shipgirls possessed an innate skill in mechanics and could fix a problem on the spot if need be.

As Archerfish climbed into the cockpit and began prepping the plane for taxi she looked across to see Tang in the plane parked next to her. In all, 34 aircraft were parked in a V-shaped formation on the desert tarmac. As one the collision lights began to flash, a red beacon on the flat desert plain. One by one the aircraft began to move, taxing in single file towards the runway. The sight of so many airplanes taking off was as amazing as it was shocking!

Archerfish ignored ATC's repeated calls to abort and instead simply said _"This is 8701Q, leading a flight of 34 for JFK."_

Seeing that his requests would not be satisfied, the controller had no choice but to allow the flight to continue. Resisting would only cause confusion and prevent traffic from being aware of this large flight. The authorities could handle the arrests when the planes got on the ground. They would have to land eventually. _"Tower copies 8701Q. You are cleared to climb to 8000 feet, turn right heading 095."_

 _"095, 8000 8701Q."_ After she had signed off, Archerfish leveled off and stowed the flaps. The plane handled the new configuration nicely and seemed to relax under her hand as though it was happy to be back in the air again. "You and I, we can go places." She said, swearing that she heard a purr.  
 _...  
_  
This scene repeated itself across the country and slowly but surely controllers became aware of a synchronized high jacking. Inevitably, calls went out to the military who feared a massive scale attack...

It was late morning for Admiral Briggs on the east coast, but when the phone rang the Admiral found himself starting awake at his desk. An empty glass at his side. His submarines had gone missing and no one knew where they had gotten off to. Calls to San Diego and Bremerton indicated a similar problem. Briggs grumbled and answered the phone. _"Briggs."_ He said out of habit.

He listened for a few seconds, then his face turned ashen then beat red within the span of a few blinks. "I understand." He said at last and hung up, hitting the buzzer on his desk.

A minute later, Hornet came in. "You called Admiral?"

"Yes, round up all the carriers and have them stationed off New York pronto!" He growled, grabbing his jacket.

"Is it the submarines sir?" She asked.

"Yes and right now, I need to get on the phone with the Pentagon to ensure my girls aren't all shot down as they fly into New York." He replied, racing past her.

Hornet paused for a few seconds, then raced after him as the implications hit her.

...

It was a typical morning at JFK airport. And by typical I mean chaotic! There were 4 A380s all wanting to taxi at once from the same ramp! There was a medical emergency as a JetBlue aircraft had a passenger who was freaking out in the back and... yeah you get the idea. For Ground Controller Stephan Abraham, better known as Kennedy Steve, the day was about to get a whole lot crazier!

"Say again 8701." The approach controller's stunned tone is what caught Stephan's attention. The man was a consummate professional, he never flinched but now when Stephan looked over, he could see the man was shaking, his face turned gray.

It was not his position to ask what the problem was. He would deal with it when the offending aircraft landed on his taxiways... "We have hijacked aircraft coming in."

Stephan paused and slowly turned to face the approach controller. "Say again?" He asked.

"Hijacked aircraft are on their way in to land. They're requesting gates and various food items."

"You say aircraft as in plural?" Stephan had been made aware of the hijacked planes out of Mojave. He had no idea just how far off base that communication was.

"Affirmative. The pilot I talked to, she said there are 753 airplanes in the pattern and the radar confirms it."

"753... did she identify herself?"

"She says her name is Archerfish and she's with the US Navy." At this Stephan groaned. He hardly considered himself a history buff but shipgirls were a common problem in large cities and New York was no exception. The epic barstormming run of the Fletchers a few months back had ensured that kanmusu would be forever notorious in town! But anyways, back to the current problem. Archerfish, Archerfish, where had he heard that name before... Stephan's facepalm later became classified as the most epic of all time as he groaned "Submarines!"

...

JFK, despite its size, could not accommodate all the 737s plus the other aircraft it had on the ground at once. 300 of the planes were diverted to Newark and Teteboro. At each airport, the submarine pilots had a Southwest official, FAA person and an MP waiting for them when they pulled up to a gate.

For her part, Archerfish just simply disembarked, giving the aircraft's nose a pat as she did so. The three officials watching swore they saw the plane tilt into it, and she walked straight to the MP and held out her hands. "USS Archerfish SS-311, Lt. Commander US Navy, service number (CENSURED). Under the Geneva Convention, that's all I'm required to tell you. I'll take handcuffs but no blindfold."

Things went crazy ivan from there!

...

 _"The action of USS Archerfish and accomplices is severely condemned by the NTSB for its recklessness and for the disruption it caused to US Air Traffic Control. The NTSB recommends a heightened state of security at all US major airports and requests that the countries of Mexico, Costa Rica, Canada, Bahamas, Abuga follow this recommendation. This report will be distributed to those countries' safety boards in the hopes that they do so._

 _The NTSB also recommends that the military severely punish those involved in this action and that the FAA suspend and/or revoke the licenses of all those involved in these hijackings..."~_ Excerpt from the NTSB report.


	178. Rule 10647

_Note by author Grathryn_

Two new, and currently not in my list, ships  
Alan Hawkins - Titanic  
Rosa Harrison - HMS Belfast (Note, she's not Falkeno's Belfast, though she bordered similar issues)

Regarding the snippet in a snippet with the AU meeting of DD6, that's its own universe that might be a spin off from somewhere, not sure what might occur with it, just wanted to put that in

* * *

 **10647\. Congratulations to HMS Zealous and HMS Mars on opening the Dapper Lioness Pub in Plymouth. Normal rules for shipgirls and military personnel drinking there apply  
10647a. Yes Zealous is the one manning the bar while Mars cooks  
10647b. They also have several variants of the Gargle Blaster on hand, no we didn't ask where they got them from, probably the same place as O'Bannon found hers for at least one of them  
10647c. For those attempting a little 'local flavour', be aware some of the drinks, particularly those made with produce from the Wilders' farm, have side effects including temporary intangibility and fairly insane sugar highs  
10647d. If anyone is interested, the Devonport Bards do live shows at the Dapper Lioness**

Wiping down the last of the wooden tables, Amaya stretched with a groan and looked around with her hands on her hips. Everything was ready, after saving her pay for months (beyond what was already held back to grow) except for what she needed to help with the bills at home, she had managed to buy up some land on Devonport's grounds and build a proper navy pub. She had been worried about food, until she had found out that Sara O'Lowry – HMS Mars of the Minotaur-class cruisers had actually wanted to be a chef before Awakening as a shipgirl, and was good at cooking.

"That's the last of them Fraulein," a German accented voice sounded from behind her, causing her to turn and see a brunette with blue eyes that stood a bit taller than her wearing the German navy uniform.

"Thanks, Karlsruhe," Amaya responded. "Are you sticking around to help with the opening or are you going to enjoy the Oktoberfest?"

Karlsruhe frowned slightly. "My sisters wish to see what your city has to offer of the Oktoberfest, but we do plan on returning to help with the opening."

Amaya nodded. "Then get going, just be back for five if you're interested in helping out." She grinned at the cruiser girl. "Things go well tonight you'll probably be having an extra tip from me, in beer or whatever you're interested in."

Karlsruhe snapped a salute. "Jawohl," she responded crisply, only to get an amused look from Amaya as the destroyer girl waved her off.

Shaking her head in amusement, Amaya smirked as she made her way behind the bar to check on the drink stocks, trailing her fingers gently over the polished wood. As much as she liked modern pubs, there was something more… homey about the older style. Oh they had the modern conveniences, but wood, leather and the pictures of the docks and the ships, including her and her sisters' hulls made a better feel, something for a tired person to enjoy relaxing in.

"Let's see…" she murmured, turning to the shelves and fridges. "Tap ciders all ready, bottles in the fridge. Got the beers, stout, lager, bitter and ale ready to go while wine is in the bottles along with spirits and ready mixers," she continued picking a check list up from the bar and running through it as she tagged each set of drinks. "There are soft drinks to cut things or for the younger crowd, along with the main brands there and Sara's in the kitchen so that'll be taken care of. I've got money ready for the till so we've got some change tonight and the card readers are ready to go, so unless something pops up, we're ready." She frowned slightly, giving the place another look around. "I wonder if O'Bannon will be glad of us taking some of the pressure off her or if she'll see us as competition?"

"Well it's not like we're going to be stealing her customer base," the Irish lilt of Sara's voice sounded as the redhead came out of the kitchens. "I mean she hardly competes with Houshou and the others over in Japan or scattered in other ports, we're just letting them have a place to go local to us whenever they're in our area rather than having to go down the coast or over the ocean." She smirked. "If anything, it's the local pubs that need to watch out, at least if we go for being open to the public as well as the military."

* * *

White hair done up in two fluffy tails, Valeriya sighed as she looked around the Dapper Lioness for a place to sit. The place was packed, a dull roar of conversation mostly covering the sound of the group on stage, which she recognised as Blake (HMS Blake), Jennifer (HMS Zodiac) and Nora (HMS Zest).

Making her way through the crowd, and dodging a few of the German shipgirls dressed in older style clothes, mostly short sleeved blouses with below the chest waistcoats and knee skirts as they moved around carrying plates of food or trays of drinks around, she pressed through to the bar, nodding to Amaya as she found herself a place to sit next to a taller girl with blonde hair tinting towards red or brown.

"That's a bit of a different look for you, isn't it?" the blonde asked, turning to reveal her face, two dark red 'claw mark' tattoos under each of her blue eyes. "Jane Beaumont, or HMS Swiftsure, if you prefer ship names, by the way. I've seen you around with the other destroyers, but I don't think we've ever been properly introduced."

"Valeriya Nakamura, JMS Hibiki," Valeriya responded before blushing slightly. "This… isn't my preferred hairstyle," she added softly. "My sisters were the ones that did this for me." She indicated her twin tails. She sat silent for a moment, leaning on the bar before turning back to Jane. "Thank you, by the way… for what you did for Inazuma in the war. For helping me when she sank."

Jane frowned briefly. "You mean rescuing her crew, right?" she asked, getting a nod from Valeriya. "They earned it. Japan might have decided to join with Germany and try to establish an empire of its own, but both your sisters' crews proved they were still human in spite of the war by saving Pope, Exeter and Encounter's crews unlike that bastard Arrizumi."

Valeriya looked at her seat mate, cocking an eyebrow. "You don't think Hacchi should be blamed for that?" she asked softly. "I've heard several that do without meeting her."

"No, she shouldn't, no more than any of the death camps' spirits should really be blamed for what happened there. War makes monsters of us all, and having met some actual monsters…" Jane sighed, shaking her head. "Besides, even with that, you're talking about things back in the war, something sixty plus years past, even with the memories, logs and fairies for crew; we're not the ships from back then." She shrugged, swirling her drink absently for a moment before taking a sip. "Though I do wonder with all the alternate worlds we've found whether there was one where things were slightly different again and your sisters survived the war."

* * *

 _Ikazuchi sat on a bench in Mikasa Park chewing worriedly at her nails, the packet of food she had bought earlier lying forgotten beside her. This would be her first time of meeting her three sisters since becoming human. Sure, their hulls were preserved further down the park along with those of HMS Swiftsure and USS Atlanta, but all she could think about was how she had lost them, Akatsuki to Atlanta's guns which in a quirk of fate didn't demolish the destroyer, then Inazuma to Bonefish, though Swiftsure, Whelp and Wizard had saved her, only to capture Hibiki at the same time. Then there was her, the only Akatsuki that stayed with Japan throughout the war, in spite of a near miss at Guam where Harder had nearly sunk her._

 _She was so caught up in her own thoughts that the first warning she had of the others arriving was the three of them crashing into her, taking her off the bench and onto the ground. "W-what?" she managed "I-Inazuma, H-Hibiki… A-Akatsuki?"_

 _"Did you really think we wouldn't want to see you, sis?" Inazuma asked, giving Ikazuchi a squeeze that made the other brunette squeak as breath left her lungs._

 _"B-b-b-but t-t-the war?" asked Ikazuchi, "What about all the times we fought?"_

 _The trio shared a look as they sorted themselves out and got back onto the bench. "We never blamed you," Akatsuki said softly. "If I hadn't used my spots, Atlanta might not have known I was there."_

 _Hibiki nodded. "Yeah, and my crew went to help Inazuma's when I was captured, it was nothing you did, it was my bad luck. I might be a phoenix, but that doesn't mean I'm able to see things happening."_

 _"Besides," Inazuma added, giving Ikazuchi another squeeze, this one a bit gentler than the last. "Did you never think there was a reason why several of those battles we, and our adopted families, aimed more to drive you and some of the others off rather than destroy you?" she asked. "You're family, and your actions helping me rescue those sailors won you more respect than most. Hell, I know several of the Umbrals were hunting I-8 to give her commander and crew a taste of frontier justice."_

 _"They got her as well," Hibiki commented. "And when they found her again last year, they helped her cleanse the blood off her decks and purge her commander from her crew list."_

 _Ikazuchi looked between the trio, her eldest sister in an American uniform, her twin and second elder in British and for the first time since she'd heard they were coming, let go, bursting into tears as she flung herself into her twin's arms, the other pair quickly joining the circle._

 _"You know, Atlanta," a blonde woman said, watching the quartet. "It's honestly a shame Harder didn't manage to catch Ikazuchi, at least then she would have had one sister. That or we should have gone for capturing her in one of those battles with her."_

 _"I don't think anyone expected us to capture the other three, Swiftsure, much less get the full set. "Still, it's good to see they're still family even now."_

* * *

"Vodka for you, Valeriya?" asked Amaya as she reached the pair, drawing Valeriya from her thoughts.

"Not tonight, Amaya," she replied. "It's Oktoberfest, it should be beer." She paused for a moment and grimaced. "But… I don't know what beer is good."

Jane shifted slightly. "Try a pint of Korev lager and see how you go, worst case you don't like it and you can try something else."

Valeriya blinked at Jane for a moment. "Lager…" she trailed the somewhat unfamiliar word around her mouth, "is beer?"

"Beer can be lager, ale, malt or stout depending on how it's brewed. A lot of people also put bitters in, though that's something of a sub-sub grouping, it's actually a type of ale," Amaya's lips quirked upwards. "My dad's a brewer, so I picked up a few things. Some of my stock is actually things his company brewed," she said before moving to pour Valeriya a glass of Korev from a bottle and placing it in front of the white-haired girl. "That's two-fifty for the pint, Valeriya, and a bit of advice, you're more used to vodka, so these will probably slip up on you because they're a lot lighter than you're used to, have some water and food after a couple of glasses, it's a trick we tend to use to soak the booze." She gave Jane a wink as Valeriya dug out the money.

* * *

"Hey, Titanic, right?" a female voice drew Titanic's attention to a tall brunette with a pint of something in her hand and dressed in an off-colour British navy uniform. "Mind if I join you for a minute?"

"I have no problems with that, but I'm already taken," he responded.

The young woman quirked a smile at him, "So am I," she admitted. "Anna Howell, HMS Umbra," she introduced herself as she sat, offering him a hand once hers were free.

Titanic shook her hand. "Alan Hawkins, you already know my ship name." He gave her a look as she sat back slightly. "What can I do for you?"

"A couple of things, first, do you know what's going on with your brother and Upholder? I haven't heard much beyond the admiral giving him a tongue lashing over it even though it's been a fair while. I think Upholder's a bit put out with me over my pointing out I've been covered worse than your brother was then, plus, you know, being stuck in a video game for a year didn't help." She shrugged slightly before leaning back a little. "Though, duties and all can make spending time a pain to arrange, which actually brings up the other point. Undine's _still_ moaning about not having a boyfriend in your league," she commented with a smirk. "Know anyone I could suggest her trying meeting?"

Alan frowned, thinking back. "I think the Admiral made him apologise to her as part of the punishment, but I think they're mostly still avoiding one another. As for Undine, I don't know of any."

Anna shrugged. "Eh, it was worth an ask, kinda hard to find traditional gentlemen these days, what with everything." She gave him a small smile. "I'll let you alone, since I think your girlfriend is getting served and mine is waiting on me." That said, she rose, nodding to him as she claimed her drink and headed off into the crowd.

* * *

"Well this is a turn up for the books, I thought you were avoiding me to avoid memories, Bel," Angela commented as she found herself a spot near the subdued Town-class girl drinking in a corner. "You here for your band or because of your sisters dragging you along?" she asked.

Belfast looked up at Angela somewhat disgruntled. "Why do you think I'd do that, Devonport?" she asked sourly.

"Angela," Angela responded, "We're off duty right now, and honestly?" she asked arching an eyebrow. "I've heard about your reaction to certain events coming up, this is where that was fixed so I'd imagine the memories are worse here than anywhere _except_ where it happened."

Belfast growled, clenching one hand into a fist at the reminder of her mining. "You weren't there for that, you don't know what it was like, especially not to go out and find your sisters were dying left and right of you."

Angela nodded slightly, accepting the rebuke. "True, but keeping on with your head there won't help your sisters survive now either," she pointed out gently. "While none of my fleet of the time died, I am still Devonport's embodiment, so I still do feel like a mother, even to Warspite, I remember seeing a three hundred young girls going out bright eyed and bushy tailed, more than a few of them never came home and some only returned physically while being as bad as the abyssals that now haunt the waters mentally and emotionally."

She paused to sip her drink, meeting Belfast's eyes. "I may not be as strong or encompassing as Ly is, but I remember seeing and feeling the bombs from the Blitz, even if who I am now wasn't alive then, and neither were you." She tapped the table with one nail to make the point. "Don't sink yourself so completely into Belfast that you reawaken the demon she became during the war. You have her class sisters, and the Minotaur and Ontario classes are practically the children of your class, not to mention every ship that is built at a dock can be considered a sister to every other ship, in a way." Angela gave Belfast a slight smile. "Even you can call every ship built both here from your repairs and at Belfast, even if Birmingham and Gloucester didn't give you the ability to call these docks a family home."

Belfast shook her head. "I don't deserve it; I was a monster and I—"

"Bullshit," Angela interrupted. "You were hurt badly, and you lost yourself to war for a long time, but you're not a monster now and now matters more than then. Besides, what would you call Admiral Glenn? She's one of very few humans able to stand up to abyssals directly. Her nieces are just as bad, at least when it comes to demons and undead, they have no mercy or compassion. Umbra stalks the dark places with a cleaver as big as she is and back in the war she took pleasure in stalking Italian shipping, as several of her sisters did. The difference, Bel, is that they already knew how to keep themselves, they have something both then and now to bring them back from that abyss." She stared straight into Belfast's grey/green eyes. "You fell, you were a monster in combat, true, but even then most of the time there was someone that could call you back. You only properly slipped towards the end, and you saw what you were before you fell too far to recover."

Belfast was saved from answering Angela's claim by the appearance of her sister Birmingham phasing through a few people to plonk a tray of drinks down. "Here, sis," she said brightly. "You look like you want something stronger than beer; this is supposed to be really strong." She placed a smoking, metal tankard in front of Belfast, who looked at it curiously for a moment before looking back at her sister.

"I don't want to know," Belfast muttered eventually before taking a sip and immediately yelping. "Cold!"

Giving the tankard a look, Angela shook her head. "Probably dry ice. That looks like it might be some sort of gargle blaster, so I hope you've a designated driver or a place to stay girls." She turned to Birmingham. "I'd also suggest taking it easy on the phasale, drink too much and you might end up intangible when you don't want to be." Nodding to the pair of them, she got to her feet and moved off to talk to others.

Belfast closed her eyes and groaned. "It… it's not just then," she admitted, drawing the pair's attention back to her. Taking a breath, she let it out slowly. "Look, I don't like talking about my past for good reason… as Belfast… I was a monster, yes Epona, her sisters, my surviving sisters and the Minotaurs and eventually Lions could pull me back, but every time I faced the Nazis, every time I lost one of my sisters, it got a bit worse, a bit harder to come back from, until I found out about the nukes and the death camps and looked in the mirror because of them." She took a long swallow of the drink, shivering and not just from the intense chill of it. "But there's also Rosa Harrison, the girl who…" She swallowed again, looking up at them with tears starting to form in her eyes. "Who saw her entire family murdered and who nearly committed suicide several times. If-if I hadn't Awoken, I wouldn't be here, maybe it'd be better if I wasn't, at least I could have sent my family's murderers to hell before seeing them again."

Birmingham gasped in horror at her sister's blunt words before moving to hug her and winding up on the floor as she turned intangible at just the wrong moment.

Reaching over the table, Angela took Rosa's hand. "I doubt any of us blame you for wanting to see your lost family again, Rosa," she said softly. "Quite a few of us have lost people to something, but don't forget you've still got people that care about you, you're their sister or mother or daughter and your family, I'd hope, would rather you live for more than just revenge."

"You're my sister, Bel," Birmingham said as she managed to hug Rosa. "I don't want to lose you, nor do our sisters."

* * *

"So you don't mind helping out again?" Amaya asked looking around at the three remaining girls at the bar, her sister ships Nora and Jennifer and the cruiser girl Blake.

Jennifer smirked at her. "Free food, free drinks and extra pay on the side? As long as we sort things out before hand and we've got cover for things I don't mind at all. Girls?" she asked her companions.

Nora nodded slightly. "Sure beats getting shot at, gives us a chance to improve our rep, and hey, big thing, you're our sister." She leaned over to squeeze Amaya's hand. "You think we wouldn't help family after everything else we've been through?" she asked.

"They're right, Amaya," Blake added her tuppence. "Give us a heads up if you want us to help out, we'll do our best to help you out."

Amaya sighed in relief, closing her eyes briefly. "Thanks girls," she said, looking round at the three of them.

* * *

Valeriya groaned as consciousness returned with the dull glow of sunlight through curtains. Shifting around, she blinked the blur out of her eyes and shook her head slightly, finding it a bit lighter than usual, but not aching or rattling. Another blink made her sit up sharply as she realised she wasn't in her usual room while at Plymouth, quickly followed by the relief of realising she was still wearing her leggings and blouse from the previous night.

Looking around, she spotted her other clothes and shoes on a chair not far from the bed while a note rested on the bedside table. Picking it up, she scanned through it.

 _Valeriya,_

 _I didn't know what your plans were last night nor where you usually stay, so I brought you back to the apartment complex we Minotaurs live in. I used the pull out bed in the lounge if you're wondering, and only undressed you enough that you weren't going to overheat._

 _You should probably give your sisters a call, if you want them to pick you up, the address is below. As for essentials, the toilet is left out of the bedroom, the kitchen is to the right, there's bread and jam or fruit in the fridge and cereal on the work surface if you want something to eat. There's some cartons of juice next to it if you want a drink._

 _I should be back around noon if you haven't left by then, if you do, send me a text on the number below so I know not to expect you to be around._

 _Jane._

Closing her eyes, Valeriya sighed. On the one hand, at least she had been safe sticking with Jane, on the other, no doubt her sisters were going to tease her something rotten when they found out she had spent the night at Jane's apartment, even though it had been entirely platonic. She wondered if it would be worth just not mentioning anything as she reached for the phone. At least they couldn't say she hadn't let them know, since it was likely Jane had let Sally know.


	179. Rule 11066

_Rule by IJNFleetAdmiral_

11066\. Happy forever 18 birthday Kongou  
11066a. No Kongou, that white hair in your pillow totally wasn't yours, no matter that it is just the length of your hair, only you and Goto ever share that bed, there isn't any other source for it and it have your DNA, It must have been from your sister so please get out of the bathroom  
11066b. In hindsight it was a bad idea sugesting the white hair was from your younger sister  
11066c. I am geting old! I want babys!TT^TT _  
_

Oyodo watched Admiral Goto stroll into the office with a literal bounce in his step and a wide grin on his face. He seemed to be in such a good mood that she figured he could've witnessed a machete-wielding maniac hacking people to death on a street corner and he would've just smiled, given a jaunty wave, and wished the terrified masses a jolly 'Good morning!' as he strolled on to work.

"My, my, my~," Mutsu gave him a catlike grin. "Exactly what put such a pep in your step this morning, Admiral? Ufufufufufu..."

Goto merely smiled. "Kongo actually _cooked_ last night!"

That made everyone pause. Oyodo looked concerned. "It was _Kongo_ who cooked, right, sir? _Kongo_ and not _Hiei_? Because if it was Hiei, you might want to go over to the infirmary and get checked out."

"If it was Hiei, he would've been in the infirmary last night," Nagato muttered without looking up from her paperwork. An answering squeak came from her cleavage, and the battleship allowed a small smile to appear on her face. As a rule, Nagato only brought her hamster with her to work on days ending in 'y'.

"No, no," Goto replied. "It was definitely Kongo who did the cooking. And it wasn't just something simple like spaghetti, either...we're talking oysters with a pineapple vinegar dressing, carrot ginger soup, avocado salad with pine nuts and almonds, baked salmon with asparagus and chili peppers, and a massive chocolate cake with whipped cream and strawberries for dessert! I had no idea she was a gourmet cook!"

Apparently no one else did, either, for they were all staring at him in surprise, even Nagato. Oyodo, however, had some concerns, and began typing away on her tablet. Soon enough, she had her answer, and turned to Goto with warning.

"Um, sir, I hate to be the bearer of unpleasant news, but...all those foods are...well...aphrodisiacs."

The Admiral blinked in surprise. "Aphrodisiacs?" A thoughtful expression came over his face. "I'll admit that we ended the evening with...well, _that_ , but..." A thought appeared to occur to him as all color proceeded to rapidly drain from his face. "Oh, _no_..."

"I think you're going to be called 'Daddy' soon, Admiral," Mutsu grinned.

Goto shook his head, lost in his thoughts. "No, we did that role-play for Kongo's commissioning date," he replied absently.

"ADMIRAL!"

"Oh, _ewww_!"

"Well, _well_..."

The various exclamations brought Goto out of his thoughts and he realized he'd just spoken aloud. Nagato looked scandalized, while Oyodo looked like she wanted to go back to her quarters, crawl into bed, pull the blankets over her head, and forget the day ever happened. For her part, Mutsu was giving him a look that was part impressed and part recollecting (the battleship was remembering a similar scenario involving her and her boyfriend LCDR Miyoshi of the JDS _Shiranuhi_ during his homecoming celebration after the ship completed her acceptance trials).

Goto whimpered and slumped in his chair. "I knew I should've taken a personal day today."

"Was it _that_ good, sir? Ufufufufu~" Goto didn't even have to look in the direction of who said that; he could feel the mischievous smirk perfectly fine from where he was sitting.

"MUTSU!" That reaction was pretty well expected, too.

"...And there's material for Chapter Eighteen. I don't need to open my own practice...I'm getting enough case studies doing the job I have." So was that statement.

He sighed. Just another day at in the Admiral's Office.


	180. Rule 11050b (by me!)

**Follow up to Rule 11060: Archerfish Gets (Steals?) Her Own Plane  
**  
Ensign (formally Commander) USS Archerfish half fumed, half skipped and hummed her way down the busy New York streets. In the aftermath of the Southwest Incident all the submarines had taken a severe drop in rank (Wahoo was busted down from Captain to Petty Officer) and nearly all of their paychecks were diverted to Southwest Airlines, as part of the Navy's compensation package for their girl's crazy stunt. Archerfish had barely enough savings after three months to afford a bus ticket but where she was going was worth it.

All the 737s "stolen" by the submarines in their stunt had been returned to the rightful owner and put back on their assigned routes. Except one. The plane Archerfish had taken, N8701Q, was still right where she parked it and despite the efforts of several captains and crews, remained there. Southwest was paying hundreds of dollars a day in airport fees to have this plane sit there and as much as Archerfish was sure they wanted to, they couldn't exactly put the blame on her. Yes, she had "freed" this Max from her desert prison but it was the plane that had decided to confess its undying love and loyalty to its submarine pilot on their one and only trip together.

Of course no one else knew about this which was why Archerfish had slipped away off base and was currently skipping down the New York streets to the airport. With the amount of people on a single sidewalk in the City that Never Sleeps on any given day, one would think that someone would spot the shipgirl. But Archerfish was a submarine and could be practically invisible when she wanted to be. Like now.

She was still humming to herself, she walked through the main entrance at Arrivals, making her way through security (without them seeing her) and out to the gates. She slipped past the ticket counter and down the jetbridge stairs to the tarmac where her plane was waiting. No one really knows for sure how a plane "sees". They have their sensors, their pitot tubes and their AoA indicators to feel their way through the skies. Their radar dome gave them a wide view ahead. However it was that she was spotted, once Archerfish was seen and identified, the Max literally bounced at the gate, its wheels lifting about a foot off the ground before touching again. The flaps, slats, spoilers and other control surfaces on the wings were lifting up and down and the rudder was moving back and forth wildly in a manner eerily reminiscent of a dog wagging its tail.

Archerfish put up a calming hand. "Hi sweetie, I'm back." She rested her palm on the plane's nose. There was a low humming sound, a smooth vibration like a cat's purr. "Yes I know, I know. You wanna go flying." The nose gear bounced as the plane's head bobbed up and down vigorously. "Okay, let's go!"

Archerfish quickly climbed into the cockpit, feeling the eager plane quiver under her hands. "Settle down darling." She cooed and a soft chime answered her.

Without needing any assistance, the N8701Q backed away from the gate and taxied out to the runway. In the control tower, the movement did not go unseen. _"Kennedy Ground to the Southwest jet on Oscar, can you stop and hold short of Gulf please. Advise intentions."_

 _"Kennedy Ground, 8701Q holding short of Gulf as requested. We'd like to make a quick flight over the city then we'll come back."_ A very familiar voice was heard across the frequency. Fellow pilots could not resist joining in. _"You again?" "How was navy prison?" "You taking your darlin' up for a quick flight?"_ Archerfish giggled and she wasn't the only one. The entire plane gave a light shudder. _"I'm a proverbial bad penny."_ Archerfish deadpanned and this time the shuddering was much more intense. The lights, inside and out flickered as the Max practically howled with laughter.

The controllers knew there was nothing they could do to stop Archerfish. _"Expect Runway 04L. Continue Oscar and hold short of 13R." "Oscar and short of 13R, 8701Q."  
_  
With JFK's usual traffic it took 30 minutes to make the short taxi across 13R, down Kilo and to the end of 04L. By the time Archerfish got there she could see the welcoming committee being rolled out. Well, she'd deal with them when she was on the ground again. "Let's go sweetheart." She said and throttled up. The Max leaped down the runway and without any input from Archerfish, waggled its wings cheekily as it went skywards. Reveling in showing the law enforcement its tail once again. "I am a bad influence on you." Archerfish said and the responding giggle told her how much the Max cared that she was that.

...

The Max had not taken on any fuel since it arrived in JFK and it was low then. So the flight was short, maybe 45 minutes before running close to fuel starvation and with warning lights threatening to sound, the pair touched down. By the time Archerfish pulled up to the gate it seemed like the entire New York Police Department, plus representatives from Southwest, plus her Admiral (shit!) were standing there. The Max was trembling in her hand, one engine flaming out before Archerfish could shut it down herself. "It's okay sweetie, I'll find you a hose and you can drink all the JetA you want."

She exited but found her path blocked by the Max's front landing gear. It was like she was being held and the plane would not let her go. "Sweetie, I can't stay here." A low pitched whine issued from above her. "I know, but hopefully I won't be in too much trouble. There's not much more they can do to me." Archerfish tried to move but the Max would not let her. "Come on now. The longer you keep me here, the worse my punishment will be." Which may or may not have been true, the submarine wasn't sure but either way it worked and she was free to go.

There were no handcuffs this time however there were no smiley faces either. Admiral Briggs looked particularly stern and Archerfish knew she'd be in for it when she got back to base. The Southwest representative came forward now. Archerfish recognized him as Kelly, the head honcho. They'd met before but he'd been far less nice looking then, screaming at her admiral to deliver on the Navy's "compensation package".

"Archerfish." He leveled his gaze on her.

"Sir." She returned civilly.

"Before I let these boys take you I have one question. How did you manage to get this plane in the sky when our best pilots couldn't manage it?"

"Simple." Archerfish grinned. "She loves me." Behind her, the Max bounced on all its wheels again, strobes flashing and rudder waggling a million miles a minute. There were multiple groans from the gathered folk, quite a few facepalms. Archerfish noticed Briggs had his face buried in his hands and was muttering something about "MSSB and his liquor stash." Poor man.

Kelly, to his credit, looked more than a bit off color but he didn't flinch.

"...I, can see that." The CEO cleared his throat. "Archerfish, do you think you are qualified to handle this aircraft?"

"Handled her twice already just fine didn't I?" Archerfish couldn't resist the snark but at Briggs' harsh look she quickly snapped too. "Uh, I mean yes sir!"

"Well then, I'm sure the navy can find a nice hanger for her somewhere if we, lease her to you." The bouncing from the Max was very intense this time, shaking them all.

"Calm down!" Archerfish called.

Briggs was just beginning to recover his voice. "Bu-bu- what happened to you punishing her? She _stole_ one of your airplanes!"

"As I recall the Navy does its own discipline, I'll leave that to you. As for me, who am I to get in the way of true love." He nodded to where Archerfish was stroking the Max's nose, earning herself some more light flashing and control surface wiggling. "Besides," Kelly added with a sly shadow of a smirk. "The look on your face is more than enough. You'll find a bottle of southern bourbon on your desk when you get back. My compliments." He left with an added grumble of "And I need a drink myself." His attendants hurried after him, each beginning a search to quickly procure his request.

Briggs was left staring after him and looking back at Archerfish who was getting rather cuddly with her new plane. A plane he would now have to find a place to keep, preferably somewhere close to his base. Then he would need to find a harsher and more suitable punishment for its new pilot. And, there was only one thing he could say to all that. "I hate my life!"


	181. Rule 11132 (by me!)

_I am such a horrible person...  
Another snippet featuring pilot Archerfish and her beloved Max! _  
**  
11132: We don't know who is the culprit behind the current noise complaints but whoever it is better step forward before the battleships teach you a lesson. They are downright terrifying when they're sleep deprived.**

Archerfish silently slipped into the hanger late after dinner. She had just returned from patrol and after filling her tanks, she was keen on getting some sleep. But there was a special someone she needed to see first.

"Hi Max." It was somewhat of a cliche name but Archerfish had never found another that suited the plane. As she closed the door and turned to face the semidarkness she felt the semi-Cold nose of her lover press to her chest. "Missed me?" She grinned.

Archerfish narrowed her eyes at the bright strobe flashing. She noted how the flashes followed a pattern, like signal lamps. _"_ _Of- course- I - did!"  
_  
Archerfish smiled. "Soon enough, Admiral Briggs will have you converted to a P8 and you can follow me everywhere."

 _"_ _Please!Please!Please! When?!When?!When?!"_ Max bounced eagerly.

"Honey calm down." Archerfish rolled her eyes. "Your excitement is understandable but most of us are not capable of withstanding that kind of energy."

Max calmed down, a low whine sounding from her engines. Archerfish stroked her nose. "It's okay sweetie." She cooed.

Max dropped her nose, then thrust up pushing Archerfish up and over her cockpit and onto her back. With a carefully placed wingtip, Max flicked a switch and the large bay doors slid open. Max moved out onto the tarmac with Archerfish straddling the top of the fuselage just in front of the wings.

"Ah honey. I'm a ship. I'm not sure this is a good idea." Archerfish warned.

Max gave a soothing purr which was felt by her lover as a gentle shudder of the wings. She had no handholds and relied solely on her shafts for grip. Max taxied out to the runway and with a flick of her rudder in warning, through the power into her engines. Archerfish held on as best she could, her fists balled up so tightly her knuckles turned white.

Max lifted off into a cloud bank and Archerfish shivered at the cold moist air as the whispy gray clouds wreathed around her. She had only flown in clear weather and the clouds were like a band of destroyers, hunting her down...

Then, a gorgeous sight. Clear beautiful night sky! There were so many stars, more stars than Archerfish usually saw out on the overcast ocean. She dared a look below just as the clouds parted, giving her a view of the base below. It wasn't nearly as lit up as the city around it. Even with wartime regulations, a city as large as Norfolk still displayed a magnificent light show.

Despite the 200 knot headwind generated by Max's forward motion, Archerfish raised her arms and cheered. "THIS IS AMAZING!"

She was forced to hold on tight again as Max made a tight left turn out over the bay, giving her lover a perfect view of the fleet below, both shipgirls and steel hulls, before returning to the airfield.

Max pulled into her hanger with Archerfish still on her back. The submarine lay on her belly stroking Max with small circles drawn with her fingers. Max folded her gear, effectively "laying down."

When Archerfish climbed off she found herself snuggled between Max's wing and her fuselage. Once again the strobes blinked Morse at her and Archerfish needed Max to repeat her request twice because the first time was not believable.

She wanted to... with _a submarine?!_ How would that even work anyways? Then again how did Kongo and Goto manage? Or Iku and Kamata? Admittedly one of them was human. But the same principles applied. One of the partners was more fragile than the other. And in this case with one being a little 300 foot long, 1500 ton submarine and the other 80000 ton airplane the status of fragile definitely fell to Archerfish.

As Archerfish settled at Max's side she pulled out a pair of earmuffs and placed them on her head. 737s had many great features that Max exemplified. They were well versed in the ins and outs of their business. As a plus the line had proven they could slip into tight spaces and drop good sized loads while multitasking from the hot and humid regions of the tropics to the colder tips of the arctic. For small airports or challenging runways the TOGA button was always useful, making a go around just when one thought they were coming in to land.

And of course when on approach those engines whined, a lot! Archerfish would need those earmuffs tonight. The rest of the base would soon get that memo.


	182. Rule 11188 (by me!)

**11188: Whoever put a tv in Phoenix's lab and left it playing the "submarine" episode of** ** _Combat Ships,_** **the expense for the property damage and Phoenix's therapy bills will be coming out of your pay!  
11188a: "WOW! Phoenix actually got so upset she affected the experiements and cooked them off. It actually damaged the duresteel casing we have to contain such explosions. I didn't think that was possible..."~ SoDac**

 **11189: Forget the bills, Conks is not amused either!  
11189a: "How dare someone remind Phoenix of her past in this way! Just when I was getting through to her!"~ HMS Conqueror.  
**  
All the elements were there. A brand new, fireproof TV, a key to the lab, and a set of dvds of a certain TV show. For Boise the opportunity was too good to pass up. She slipped easily into her sister's lab, reminding herself to thank Mogami later. The cruiser despised Phoenix, having never gotten over Surigao. Boise wasn't on the best of terms with her sister either. She was still bitter over the fact that Phoenix lived while she went to the scrapyard when they had promised to go together.

Boise found a table without enough crap on it to set her TV on. She put in the offending DVD, selecting the appropriate episode, set it on repeat and slipped back out.

Less than an hour later, Phoenix returned humming to herself. She had bags of groceries in hand. Enough to get her through the next two weeks if she stayed in here which sometimes did happen. If she wasn't on the current patrol roster (she wasn't) her lab became her home. Setting her bags on a tool infested counter, her communications officer let her know of an intriguing disturbance nearby. Curiosity was a hallmark of a scientist and while Phoenix was albeit a mad one she was still a scientist.

The noise came from a TV that had somehow been placed on her one free table. It was playing some kind of naval show, wait a second... She only needed a few seconds of staring at the TV screen to realize what she was seeing. That-that was her but... The memories surged. Belgrano, a name that haunted her. The Falkands, a war she had sworn to never speak of. When she saw the picture no doubt faken from Conks, of her listing, sinking. She snapped. And the lab spontaneously exploded.

...

Admiral Briggs looked across the room at his equal. Admiral Collingwood had flown across the pond immediately upon hearing of the disaster. Phoenix's lab was destroyed, taking half the barracks with it. It was extremely fortunate the explosion had occurred at dinner time when a majority of the base's shipgirls were in the messhall. That said, Massachusetts, Langley, and Sammy B not to mention Phoenix herself would all need repairs. For once after an explosion no one was looking to throttle the cruiser. Rather their anger had turned to the individual/s who were behind Phoenix's accident.

Hence the presence of the other Brit in the room. Briggs had to seriously focus just to see her. His own submarines prided themselves on being stealthy and often went on kleptomaniac sprees of increasing silliness just to prove it. This girl didn't have to even _try_ and be stealthy. Stealth just came to her. Despite the fact that her fists were balled in anger and her face was flushed.

"How dare someone attack Phoenix in this manner!" Conks fumed. "Just when I was getting through to her Ladyship too." She added with a sigh.

Briggs looked at Collingwood who just shook his head. The message was clear, don't ask! Briggs decided to take that advice. He had more than enough problems with killed/killer couples to know not to delve into it.

"Can you find the culprit?" He asked her.

Conks nodded, her grin showing a few too many teeth. "Certainly sir. I'll get right on it!"

...

Conks was ruthless and efficient in her efforts. It took 6 hours, 2 blackmailed cruisers, 5 destroyers each with 6 months worth of ice cream to land her at Boise's door. The cruiser must have known she was coming for as soon as Conks broke down the door Boise leaped up from her couch and screamed "I could give you names!"

"You have five seconds." Conks had no intentions of letting Boise off the hook but she needed to know who else she needed to punish.

Boise wastes no time in spilling the beans as the Americanism went.

"It was Mogami!" She screamed. "It was her idea. She provided the materials and everything!"

Conks believed the second but the first was a total lie. Even if Mogami has intended that Boise use the items the way she did it was still the cruiser who was brains of the operation.

The submarine rolled up her sleeves and cracked her knuckles. Boise went ashen and backed up. "Hey I gave you names!" She cried.

"Oh Mogami may have built the weapon, but you fired the trigger. She will get her own but right now it's your turn." Conks purred, advancing. Anyone nearby would have screamed and nothing else.

...

A day later a sobbing, traumatized Boise was placed in Briggs's office with a simple note from Conks that read "Your welcome. I'll take 2 weeks leave in return to visit my lass."


	183. Rule 8507

_Rule by dnite77._

 **Rule 8507: No Admiral Goto has not retired. He's in the hospital after a recent "break" with Kongou who is also in there now with him. I pity the nurse that walks in on them.**

"So... What exactly happened?" I asked as I enjoy the cup of hot coffee in my hands. Freshly brewed by Pola which means its spike with some alcohol... Which I think I need for this conversation.

"What do you think happened?" Admiral Goto snark glaring at me as he lay down on the medical bed inside Corregidor Naval Base. I had no idea why his here in his injured state all I know is he just came and barge in our medbay on the pretence of Medical Leave.

"You broke your back after Kongou rode you at night." I retorted hiding my smile on the act of drinking my coffee as I eyed his wife by his side who blush like a tomato.

"GDI No!" He denied with a much even fierce blush. You both know that your sex affairs are as plain as they come. Im even surprise they still havent had a child yet. What wrong with this two? "It was Fubuki!"

"..."

"Thats not what I meant!" He quickly said after realising how he worded it. "Fubuki dreamt that I was retiring and in her panic crash into me in the hallway!"

"I see..." I intoned with the most blank voice I can muster while giving them a look of utter disbelief "Sure... I believe you."

"You clearly don't" He sighed as he let the topic go. Whether I believe him or not was up to him to decide. Since it is perfectly possible for Fubuki to overreact that way. I do believe him... a small part of me does...somewhat hopefully.

"Anyway. I understand what happened but still doesnt answer why your here. While I appreciate the visit, it was kinda out of the blue. What can a perfectly normal base help the most powerful Admiral on this side of the World?" As I said the last part their eyes darted immediately towards the floating pens and papers that are as if by magic move on their own... Gotta love the Reality Stone makes paperwork a breeze when you can animate the pens and papers to do the work for you. Then their eyes move towards the floating spectres peeking from the open door curious to their new visitors. Then to the Abyssal Anti-Air Princess acting as my Secretary for the day in absence of Bataan sleeping the night away. Then back to me who is currently enjoying a spike cup of coffee "What?"

"How is your base Normal?"

"Compared to yours? We kinda are. The only crazy we got recently was with you blowing a fuse when we upgraded Kiyoshimo to a Battleship and that was more than a year ago!"

"I still havent forgiven you for that!"

"I didnt ask for one and Kiyoshimo is happy as one." I replied calmly with a sip of my totally not alcohol. Gotta give Pola a raise for making this for me. It work wonders for the nerve. "And again we arent that crazy with our antics. Heck we didnt even make it into the TvTropes Page."

"Tv what now?" Goto asked confuse before taking a strong wiff before reeling in covering his nose. "Is that Alcohol? Are you Drunk?"

"Coffee. Its Technically Coffee." I corrected as I offered a thermos his direction. "Want a sip?"

He eyed it wearily before taking a hesitant sip, and just as he place the thermos down he was out like a light. Huh... Was he ever a lightweight? Kongou surprise grab the questionable container and took a whiff before she reeling in. "What is that concoction!?"

"Beats me. Pola made it for me just now. Something about her ultimate Coffee Concoction." I shrug as I made to stand and heading out so not to disturb the poor man's rest. Im sure Kongou will do that once I was out of earshot. "Anyway enjoy your stay just ring if you need me for anything. Im sure we can find something you two can enjoy while his bedridden"

With one last wave and a bow from my secretary we left them to their devices...Not before locking the door for their privacy... Which only opens with a key that I so happen to have. I sure hope Akashi's Reinforce door hold up Kongou's wrath when she realized they are now stuck in the room with no way out.

Eh... I'll deal with it later.


	184. Rule 6367

_Rule by dnite77._

 **Rule 6367: Using OBS fairies outside of sorties is banned!**

Part 1 of 2...Kinda... _Shrugs_  
United Nations EU HQ

Cmdr Jaune Arc hummed a tune as he busied himself with the reports for the day. His wife arranging the reports on the bookshelf behind him also enjoying the peaceful day. A Good day for the impossible to happen.

A knock echoed from the door catching the couple's attention as they look at each other wondering who could it be since they remembered no one was suppose to be reporting today.

"Come In" Cmdr Arc announce as soon as he did the door swung open to three people entered that filled the Arc with mix emotions. This cant be good.

"Sorry for the impromptu visit but I got something to report" The lead person intoned as he wave a folder on his left hand. The man was wearing a Black combat BDU with the proper insignia and rank for the Army Officers of the Philippine Army Special Force. "Well... Incident Report." Cmdr Drake Knight a familiar face Jaune had spoken to once or twice during his time visiting his base.

Jaune could feel the on coming headache already. Most Incident reports tend to be delivered thru Emails or the odd letter. The rare occasions that it is personally delivered was if it was Stupidly Impossible to believe or Sensitive for others below their paygrade to see... Or both... Most often than not its the Latter of the three that happens. But before he could comment on it the other two visitors gasp in shock their jaws slack and open in disbelief as they pointed something behind Jaune which cause Him to look at his wife. Snow white hair tied to a braided side ponytail, elegant features that would easily be mistaken for royalty, icy blue eyes as sharp as it is alluring. Weiss Schnee-Arc was an epitome of Beauty and Elegance. His Wife of two years.

"Weiss!?" The two escorts of the admiral shriek in unison. One was the Battleship Iowa or Yang!Iowa and the other was the younger version of his wife he had met a few months back when he started with his current assignment. The Destroyer IJN Kasumi, or as the admiral in front of him called her Weissumi.

"Ara~ Has my Husband been bragging about me again?" Weiss smiled in slight surprise at how it seems the two shipgirls knew her. Her words made the Arc blush, the Knight groan and the two of girls to be flabbergasted at her overall.

"Wait" Yang!Iowa started. "Husband?" She asked which cause her current partner to faint dramatically.

"Is it really that surprising?" Jaune ask as he fought of the red off his face.

"Yes!" Weissumi cried before turning her attention to the more mature version of herself. "How? Why? What?" Asked as he continued to point at the slump for of the blonde man.

Weiss couldnt help but smiled and laugh at her younger self's antics as she approach her and suddenly pat her head. "One day you'll understand. You may not see it now but my Husband is a wonderful person."  
That somehow called her down as she looked away with a small huff that cause both Admiral Knight and Yang!Iowa to snicker.

"Anyway... Lets get back on topic before Ruby accidentally blows up something, I trust Blake to watch her but I dont think a Tank can keep up with the Engineer's energy." Knight cough into his hand as he handed the folder. "The report I was asked to hand to you."

Jaune took it and opened it only to see a wedding invitation, he look up with a raise brow questioning the more experience Admiral.

"Ashigara and Yonehara are finally tying the knot after so long of them dancing around." Knight sighed as showed his own invite. "Everyone they met is invited and that means trouble." He shrugs as he begin walking away followed by his escorts.

"Who would be dumb enough to ruin such a grand wedding!?"

Knight only laugh as he disappeared when the door close. Yet the laugh he gave was all the message Jaune needed to understand how grave the situation.

The Grandest Wedding in Naval History would be a cluster fuck.

"That cant be good..."


	185. Rule 11297

_Rule by Poteitoku_

 **11297\. How Timmerman somehow turned somebody into a shipgirl is unknown, but she is no longer allowed to.  
11297a: Wait, what happens to me now?**

"Why did you sneak me into the base?"

Timmerman smirks as she addresses a red-haired boy. "Well, my friend, I want you to witness my new creation!"

"...I already don't like the sound of this."

"Nonsense! It's totally safe!" Timmerman laughs. "This machine will enhance your physical power to match that of us shipgirls!" She motions to a machine that looks like a pod. It has a door to let a person in and a bunch of wires attached to it.

"Why do I doubt you?"

"It's okay to doubt me, but do you want to try it?" Timmerman shrugs. Deep down, she knows there's around a 10% chance of a malfunction.

"Sure." To Timmerman's shock, the boy climbs into the pod. Quickly, she moves to the control console next to the pod. She begins turning dials and flipping switches. "Power on, activating strength enhancing sequence!"

The machine blares to life, lights turning on throughout the machine. After a moment, the machine begins throwing electricity around the room.

"Uh, Timmerman, what's going on!?"

"IT'S MALFUNCTIONING, HANG TIGHT!" Timmerman, panicking, begins flipping all the switches to try to turn off the machine. Instead, in a flash of light, the machine breaks down. The control console explodes, throwing Timmerman to the wall and pushing the pod away.

In the pod, the boy gets knocked unconscious...

 _'_ _Who are you?'_ A voice rings out inside his head. It sounds familiar, but he doesn't know why.

"I'm... Sean. Who are you?"

 _'_ _I'll tell you later...Oh, wait, that's important, isn't it...? Just call me Percival. I like you. Would you like to be my host?'_

"Host? You mean, you in my body?"

 _'_ _Yes. You can keep control of your body, but I can talk with you and see and hear what you do.'_

"Wouldn't it be weird if people heard two different voices from me?"

 _'_ _Don't worry, they won't be able to hear me.'_

"Fine."

The familiar voice of Timmerman rings out as she forces the pod's door open, sounding even more panicked than before. "WHAT HAVE I DONE!?"

"What... Have you done...?" The voice that emanates from the body inside the pod is now feminine, sounding exactly like the voice in Sean's head. "WHAT THE?" The body examines itself. "WHY AM I A GIRL!?"

The voice from before speaks again. _'_ _You're a shipgirl now. I guess you can use my name, Percival. DD-452. Fletcher-class.'_

"...This week's been really eventful. First, a cat bans me from a chat server, and now I'm a shipgirl."

Timmerman laughs awkwardly. "Um, I guess we should go see the Admiral?"

"How are we supposed to explain this, though!? 'Oh, Timmerman snuck me onto the base to show me a cool creation and happened to turn me into a shipgirl'!? We're both in deep shit, Timmerman!"

"...Shit, you're right."

 _'_ _...You're on your own for this one, Sean.'_


	186. Rule 11300 (by me!)

**Rule 11300: No more bribing submarines to do your dirty work, science!girls.  
Rule 11300a: On that note, Archerfish will need significant repairs and Max is out for blood!  
**  
This wouldn't have happened if stupidity and romance were involved. Now granted the two seemed to go hand and hand, especially with more precocious couples. Now that being said, this still could've been avoided. What is "this?" We'll get to that later. First let's explain what actually happened.

 _Flashback, 3 days earlier. Submarine Base, Groton Ct. 14:00 (USN does not add 'hours' afterwords like some inferior branches)  
_  
There was the kind of quiet in the air that had everyone on edge. Because it was the type of quiet that usually preceded some form of mayhem, whether it was shipgirl induced or externally so. The 'calm before the storm' if you will. The storm turned out to arise from within which of course meant by the time the dust settled, the Admirals would be several shots if not more into their liquor stash.

The storm ironically enough came from a submarine not normally associated with trouble. All in all, Seawolf was usually a very well behaved girl. Don't get her confused with her sodium fueledor her trigger happy counterparts. And the less said about the floating coffin the better. Now that being said she was still a submarine, a nuc boat at that and although there were often doubts that she was related to the manically stealthy and, the more we think about it, creepy USS Jimmy Carter, there were those moments. This was one of them. Seawolf had a little known habit of taking any opportunity she could find to prove her stealthiness was just as good as her more clandestine sister. This was one of those rare opportunities.

Presented to her by, of all people, the Yurribi twins, Seawolf's task was to slip into Groton unnoticed, then slip into one of the airplane hangers and film Max and Archerfish "in action". The twins wanted to know a. how such a coupling actually was done and b. if said coupling would result in any children. Although Seawolf felt the latter could just be discovered upon Archerfish developing unusual cravings. Still, it wasn't her place to question anything. Her job was to simply have a periscope up and ready for when Archerfish felt like it was a good night to put on a show.

That night surprisingly took a while in developing. Archerfish had been on base for a while, her last patrol ending some time ago. This meant that the frenzied coupling that usually occurred immediately after a patrol had calmed down. But Seawolf just had to be patient. She knew that Archerfish was due to go back out soon and her intense studies of romantic relationships told her that another coupling was very likely to occur around that time.

It came sooner than she expected. Max, having spent two days cooped up in her hanger having her fuel system looked at, the navy wanted to add mid-air refueling to her, well as any grounded aircraft would, she was feeling frisky. Archerfish, due on patrol within the next week, was also keen. Thus Seawolf sat outside, well hidden in tall brush as she waited for Archerfish to go inside. Once the submarine had closed the pedestrian door, and the main hanger doors were also closed, the nucboat made her move. She used a thick tree limb to plant herself on the roof and her periscopes peeked in through a skylight.

The camera recorded some rather juicy delights that she was sure would make for excellent blackmail once she made copies. Like hell she was just turning this footage over to the Yurrabis. They were paying her good. Six months worth of free coupons to spend anywhere in Akhibura. But she had to film the whole thing first. The twins had insisted upon it and while they claimed it was for science! as all science!shipgirls claimed, Seawolf was certainly suspicious that there weren't _other_ motives. She could certainly see the appeal. About halfway through, she found she needed to open her hatches and ventilate.

Of course right before the climax is where the bane of MSSB, a force known as karma, intervened. When you secretly film the porn of another shipgirl, be prepared to recieve a heavy dose. In this case, it was a sudden but powerful gust of wind through the open skylights. Courtesy of Max's all but screaming engines. Seawolf lost her balance and with a very audible yelp, slid off the roof and fell right into a stack of barrels labeled gunpowder. Her still exposed periscopes scraped along the metal edge of the building, showering the barrels with sparks.

The submarine gulped, currently less afraid of the odd couple now glaring daggers at her through the hanger door. "Oh scrap me." She moaned, staggering to her feet. Her propeller churned to make headway as her engine room rang for full power. But even Shimakaze can't beat the laws of physics and motion.

KABOOM!

One side of the hanger just exploded into bits. The rest quickly caught on fire. Seawolf was thrown over the trees and landed awkwardly in the river by the blast, bits of hull coming to the surface where she landed. Not a good sign. It was worse for Archerfish and Max.

Max sensed the explosion was coming around the same time Seawolf did and threw herself over Archerfish who gave a squawk of protest. The 737 was careful to keep the majority of her weight off the sub. She had her breaks set but even so one of the disks broke with the sheer effort of keeping herself immobile against the blast. The heat of the subsequent blaze warped her dark blue paint. Beneath the skin, hydraulic fluid boiled in its lines, bursting out in some places. Manual pulley cables took up the strain. Archerfish took a peak out from underneath her lovers landing gear but Max shoved her back down.

"Max honey, we need to move out of here." She coughed, the thick smoke beginning to clog her engine intake filters. But Max couldn't move. The blast had jammed the breaks on her right main gear, effectively locking her in place. Archerfish knew what she had to do. "I am so sorry about this sweetheart." She said as she severed the break lines on that side. Max offered nothing more than a wince as she and Archerfish limped outside. Archerfish was missing one of her stern planes and had to rely on Max for clear sailing. Besides the warped paint and the broken break disk, Max herself was okay.

The fire crews cheered at their appearance. Even Admiral Briggs praised their miraculous escape. But once the fire was out, attentions turned to finding the culprit. It didn't take long.

 _Present Day, Admiral's Office Submarine Base Groton Ct. 09:00  
_  
Seawolf took one look at the Admiral's face as she walked in and immediately raised the white flag up her tallest periscope. "I surrender!" She squealed.

"I thought you might say that. Unfortunately, I am not the one you will be surrendering too." A dark shadow descended upon the office and when Seawolf dared look to see who it was she immediately wished she didn't.

There was Max, paint still warped but those glass cockpit windows were fixated right on her. How did a plane manage such a terrifying glare? For some reason Seawolf got a picture in her mind of a terrifying lady rubbing her hands together with glee right before delivering punishment. Self preservation kicked in and she flew nothing but white flags from her periscopes. "Um, truce?" She tried, holding out her camera's memory card in one hand. If Seawolf was hoping that by turning over the evidence, Max would cut her some slack, she was about to be disappointed.


	187. Rule 11320 (by me!)

**11320: I don't know what your definition of upgrade is but putting Aegis on a plane?! Also the less said about the giant ass guns on the wings, the better.  
11320a: "This is worse than the time the twins gave Gatling, Gatling guns."- Admiral Goto  
11320b: "And worse than the time SoDac gave Tennyru an axe!"~ Admiral Briggs  
11320c: "Here Abyssal-byssals. Come out, come out wherever you are~" Max**

 **11321: No hiding details from your reports, even if it is for good reason.  
11321a: "I really don't know how to put this in a way that won't shatter the Admiral's sanity."~ Massachusetts  
11321b: "I don't know how we can not put it in our reports and keep our sanity."~ Archerfish  
11321c: "WHAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! WHHYYYYYYYYYYY MEEEEEEEEEE!"~ Admiral Briggs, learning the truth**

 **11322: Max has earned a Silver Star for single handedly knocking off an entire squadron of Abyssals. She is also spending the next 2 months in her hanger for repairs.  
11332a: "That was the bravest and the stupidest stunt I've seen since Hood did that cudgel move with Campbelltown."~ Archerfish.  
11322b: "Who, besides you knows how to ride a plane? And has big guns."~ Max **

It was a normal day at Norfolk Naval Air Station. After the Seawolf Incident Max and Archerfish moved to Virginia. The base was a good deal larger than Groton and although the submarine presence was nearly non-existent, surface ships provided plenty of entertainment. Also, the facilities here meant that Max could finally get the upgrades she so desperately needed in order to join the fleet. The opportunity to work with and fight alongside her lover had her very excited and she was almost always fidgeting on her gear in her hanger as the mechanics swarmed over her.

What wasn't known was the intrusion of science! into these modifications. Converting a 737 Max into a P8 wasn't as difficult as it may seem at first glance. The basic airframe was the same. And while the passenger based interior needed to be removed and new electronics and weapons systems installed, once the seats and cushions were out of the way it wasn't that difficult. What was tricky was South Dakota's plan.

Now South Dakota, the mad science shipgirl of mad science shipgirls had been responsible for some kind of mayhem on every base in the US and Canada, at least once. She, like all the other science girls were fascinated with Max. The first aircraft to show signs of true sentience like the kanmusu. Being stationed in Norfolk meant that a confrontation was inevitable. Thus, with the mechanics on lunch break and Archerfish off doing submarine things, South Dakota confronted her latest test subject.

Max was unlike most other test subjects. See she was well aware of the science girl's penchant for trouble. Oftentimes her experiments didn't go as planned so when South Dakota made her proposal, the 737 was rightfully wary. Then the battleship made a proposal she couldn't refuse.

"You want to be able to protect Archerfish don't you?" She asked.

Now what kind of question was that? _Of course_ Max wanted to protect her. But her numerous weapons systems already ensured that. South Dakota smiled and shook her head when she pointed that out. "Max, poor dear innocent Max." She chuckled. "Harpoons and torpedoes are wonderful but has anyone told you of the early days of the war?" Max paused, then shook her nose in a no answer. South Dakota was happy to fill the gaps in her education. "Well the first few months we were, reeling. I dunno how much of the war reached the airways but the Navy took a huge hit. Nothing we had seemed to work. _Nothing!_ Those nice anti-ship harpoons, they either ended their journey as duds or went on a return to sender path. And same with the torpedoes. It was like the Mark 14 all over again!" Max winced at that, aware of the torpedo's flaws as Archerfish had given her a history lesson.

"So the only weapon that proved to be even remotely reliable were phoelinx guns. Since you're a plane and not a ship, I honestly don't know if those other weapons will work on Abyssals or not. But its better to have a backup, just in case. Archerfish would never forgive me if I let you get shot down." That was certainly true and as often as Max put herself in directly in the fire for her lover, dying was certainly not on her calendar for the near future. She agreed to SoDac's modifications.

...

Abyssal Force 2 was stubborn and composed of a highly skilled fighting force. Highly skilled because of the Abyssal forces on earth, this was the only one that was entirely composed of original vessels. This meant that these evil ships had been fighting the war since the beginning. They were experts in dealing with human forces and shipgirls alike. The war had taken its toll on the force, reducing it to about half its original size which is why the US Fleet now took this opportunity to attack it. They were strong enough, and it was weak enough for the fight to be reasonably fair. That is not to say it would easy by any means.

With the opening shot it was clear this would be a long hard battle. The Abyssal force knew where to hit where it hurt and concentrated its attacks on the carriers and capital ships. But without avoiding the little guys entirely. The destroyers and submarines got their fair share of the action. Archerfish was pinned down for 6 hours by continuous depth charges. Max was one of three P8s that saw action that day. Having three meant there was a constant presence as each aircraft cycled through either to land and replace tired crew or hook up to a gas station. Max never left the battle entirely. Even hooked up to a tanker she made loops on the edge of the battle zone, keeping one sonarbouy fixed on Archerfish.

Archerfish for her part was having the time of her life! The Abyssal submarines were a challenge as she liked a challenge, as long as she could come out on top in the end. Which so far she had. But now her battery was running low. She needed to snorkel but the constant activity at the surface made that impossible. Retreating out of the battlezone wasn't an option either as the enemy destroyers were waiting for her the moment she tried to retreat.

"Can't go forward, can't go back." She sighed. Well she couldn't stay here! She made a break for her own lines. A risky maneuver as she could easily be mistaken for an enemy submarine. Friendly fire still happened in this war, it just wasn't as well known. But she had no choice. The Abyssals had made it for her.

As Archerfish raced back to the fleet, the sound of her screw attracted the Abyssals. She was desperate and making little effort to be silent, just hoping that she could reach the safety of her fleet in time. Daring a peak with her periscope, it was clear she wasn't going to make it. Two destroyers were charging at her. Archerfish made a decision. She kept her periscope up, guiding the destroyers in. They didn't come right away, naturally wary as they had seen this tactic before. But the chance of sinking a vulnerable submarine was too good to pass up as Archerfish knew it would be. She had her shot lined up when the lead destroyer got close enough. Her hours of practicing this down the throat maneuver payed off and she took pleasure in seeing the bow blown off her opponent.

Rapid sonar pings reminded her there was one more destroyer out there. By the time she had re-positioned, the destroyer was too close. She could dive to evade but her battery was so low by this point that doing so would almost guarantee she could not make it back to the surface. She had to take her chances here, shift her rudder at the last moment and hope she was nimble enough to dodge.

30,000 feet above her, Max circled on the end of a long hose. Her fueling was almost complete and good thing too because through the heavy cloud cover she spotted Archerfish. Going bow to bow with two Abyssal destroyers. They looked like Gearing-class, evil versions of them. Which meant that Archerfish was not only outnumbered, she was severely outgunned. Max wanted to race down there and help but she couldn't. Not properly disengaging from the tanker before resuming battle operations would damage them both, if not crash them.

Max cheered when she saw the one destroyer go up in flames, knowing Archerfish had nailed it but there was still another. Not that Max had ever underestimated or disrespected her lover's skill in combat. Archerfish was quite good where it counted but even she couldn't take care of two ships at once. Especially not at such close range. And that remaining destroyer knew it. It knew Archerfish couldn't set up another shot in time and Max, even from this height, could see the wake it generated as its engines were pushed to full power. It was going to ram her. Max snarled, pinging the tanker in an effort to let them know she needed to get back in the fight.

 _"We're pumping as fast as we can Max. Still another 2 minutes."_

 _"Archerfish doesn't HAVE two minutes."_ Still Max could do nothing.

Finally, fueling was complete and the tanker's boom retracted. Max closed the fuel panel door across her nose and banked hard left, pointing her radar dome skywards. It was far from standard procedure but she was needed down there dammit. Max retracted all her flaps which she had extended to allow her to circle at low speed behind the tanker. But now they would just hinder her.

Climbing seemed to be the opposite of what was needed to rejoin the battle but there was a method to Max's madness. One that admittedly, was more than a little crazy. She tilted her nose high. 10 degrees, 20 degrees, 30 degrees... She reached an astonishing 52 degrees before automatic protection kicked in and began to push her nose back towards the ground. Here was where the plan became a little, well, stupid. Just diving towards the battle wasn't going to work. Safeguards prevented her from achieving the necessary speed and dive angle required to rejoin the fight fast. Instead of working against her systems, she would work with them. With a twist.

As soon as Max felt her horizontal stabilizer begin to push her nose down she froze her AoA sensors so that the only thing they would read was that her nose was at a 50 degree up angle. This was not something a flight crew could ever do, even if they ever wanted to (why would they?) But she was the plane! She could do what she wanted with her parts. MCAS did exactly what it was designed to do and pushed her down. It wasn't much at first but when the now frozen sensors detected no change, the commands were repeated and strengthened. Max did everything she could to help, pushing full power into her engines. With the flight systems fooled, there were no safeguards to act against her in how steep an angle she took. There was a risk she would just end up crashing into the sea. This system had knocked down two planes already but without the advantage of actually being a dive bomber, Max had to take what she could get. Sure, she would probably end up losing a few bits on the way down. Diving towards the sea at 250 knots and 60 degrees ensured that. She just needed to make sure she reactivated her AoA sensors and pulled up in time.

Once in the dive, the wind was unlike anything Max had felt before. It was a high pitched whistle, almost like a scream. As she cleared the cloud base at 5000 feet the surface ships realized the danger and opened up on her. Tracers streaked past as bullets flew just centimeters from her wings but Max was not terrified. If anything, the closeness was something she reveled in. Battle was where she belonged! She may not have been bred to fight but she was certainly born for war.

3000 feet, 2500 feet. At this altitude most aircraft would pull up and release a bomb or two on an unsuspecting ship's deck. Max didn't have bombs, she had harpoons and the only way to ensure the modern weapons worked in this environment was to get in close. At 1000 feet, she reactivated her sensors. MCAS stopped functioning and a thousand warnings began blaring in her cockpit as the rest of her realized the danger she was in. Most annoying was the ground proximity warning. If it was allowed, she would have shut off that loud "TERRAIN! TERRAIN!" A long time ago. As it was, she just had to ignore it and keep her focus. As she began to pull out of her dive, her belly just brushed the mast of the destroyer. She released a harpoon, then once clear of the ship and practically skimming the water, banked hard right to avoid the fire of a large cruiser in her path. She didn't see it but she heard the destroyer's magazines explode.

 _"Yes it worked!"_ She hissed. But the fight wasn't over yet. Now down on the deck, Max dodged fire from all angles, both from Abyssals and her own comrades. She was right in the middle of the worst part of the fighting, and it was inevitable that she would get hit. She did.

Just a few rounds wasn't enough to hurt her but after 3 minutes in the thick of it, something was going to give. Rounds finally penetrated her fuselage, just aft of her right wing. The high speed bullets went deep, severing her manual control cables. If her hydraulics were hit next, she would have no control to that side. She couldn't climb to escape. They'd pick her off with plenty of time before she vanished into the clouds. But neither could she run. Like Archerfish, she was stuck.

Or maybe not. The mounts on her wings, just outside of her engines were to the casual observer, just another set of flaps. SoDac had designed them that way to avoid suspicion. Max had yet to even test the new weapons let alone deploy them in combat. _"Well, no time like the present."_ She muttered. Inside the cockpit a switch was flicked, a switch labeled "Phoelinx". The seemingly inconspicuous flap cover retracted and splayed out, revealing four nasty gun barrels on each wing. Max wasted no time putting them to good use. The ammo belt ran along the inside of her wing, giving her up to 5000 rounds to each barrel. It was complex system but its application was simple and deadly.

From the perspective of her allies down below, it looked like Max had exploded. Tracer rounds erupted from both wings and spontaneously one of the thinner hulled Abyssal destroyers exploded. Max used the gap in enemy fire to gain some altitude and continued her strafing runs, lending support to beleaguered and ammo deprived battleships. Against stronger vessels, harpoons and torpedoes came into play. And Max was a _very good_ shot! Despite some of the Abyssals practically being entangled with the Americans. In such close quarters, Max never faltered, not once striking her allies.

With the lesser ships out of the way, Max made a move towards the Abyssal carrier. Their ammunition nearly depleted, the US fleet could only take a step back and watch. The carrier was a cross between a Yorktown and a Nimitz. The combination of WW2 toughness and modern deadliness made this ship a hard egg to crack. Not that Max cared. The storm of tracers was far more intense now and that was just from one ship. The only ship left in the Abyssal squadron. Max stayed as close to the deck as she could without getting wet and spun herself around and around in a twirl. The move prevented the Abyssal from getting a good fix on her, unable to see any one part of her at a time. Once Max was inside the range of her guns, it was all over. Her own guns had been firing continuously as well, knocking out the Abyssals anti-aircrafts one by one. By the time Max lifted herself off the deck, dropping torpedoes, the tracer fire was almost nonexistent.

Max's timing could not have been closer as just as she cleared the carrier, it exploded. Two torpedoes detonated under its keel, snapping its back in several places. It quickly sank, leaving an oil slick behind. Max made a circle, admiring her handiwork before limping back towards the fleet. Keen eyes could see that her right engine was smoking a little and would have to be shut down. She was covered in bullet holes and tracer burns and there was a large gash in her belly from where she'd scrapped against that destroyer's mast.

Massachusetts wasted no time getting on the radio. _"Max, return to Norfolk."_

 _"Max copies."_ With a waggle of her wings, Max made a sharp turn back towards the US coast, 200 miles away. It was unclear if she could get there without needing to stop at another gas station. Flying on one engine reduced her speed drastically, and limited her altitude causing increased fuel burn. Still, there were more pressing issues to consider.

Most of the fleet had been silent, purely out of sheer shock and terror. At last someone spoke up and no surprise it was Johnston. "An entire fleet." She whispered. The Taffy was unusually subdued but that was no surprise, considering what just happened. "One aircraft destroyed an entire fleet. Not that I'm surprised or anything. Aircraft are nasty buggers but a P8M*. She's not even built for combat!" The destroyer was torn between worshipping Max or being jealous of her. Massachusetts wasn't sure which one she preferred.

"So, how do we report this?" South Dakota asked. She was the only one not completely affected by Max's trouncing.

"Ignoring the fact that you so obviously gave Max those guns." Massachusetts said and SoDac just gave a shrug that had no guilt in it whatsoever. "I vote in favor of _not_ reporting this, for the sake of Admiral Briggs' continuing sanity."

Archerfish was the next to speak up. She too was stunned by her lover's display. Who knew a 737Max, an aircraft designed purely for civilian work, could do that kind of damage. "I don't know how we can not report it and keep _our_ sanity." She said.

...

Admiral Briggs was not happy. On his desk sat a serious of after action reports drawn up by Massachusetts and her fleet. While deeply informative they failed to answer one critical question. What had happened to the Abyssal Force 9? When asked, each ship simply shrugged and said "It was a hell of a fight but it wasn't me who finished them." At least the force had been annihilated. Still, the question of how remained. Was it extremely important? Not really. The force was gone and that's what mattered. But when dealing with shipgirls, it was best to try and understand MSSB as much as possible in order to better predict its outbreaks. A science that was, admittedly, still very much in its infancy.

Playing on a hunch, Briggs went through the folder of photos again. Collected from all the vessels snapshots of the fight, they provided a visual picture of the battle itself. And something immediately caught his eye. In each of the photos depicting an Abyssal blowing up, there was a small blob off to the side. In some images the blob was more defined. Briggs could just make out the features of a P8. And he had a sinking feeling that he knew which one it was. And that lead to a very unwelcome truth.

"WWWHHHHHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY MMMMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

Admiral Briggs' wail was heard all across the base. In the mess hall, Massachusetts, Archerfish, Johnston, and South Dakota were all seated at a table. Pausing in slurping her spaghetti, SoDac shrugged and said "Whelp, guess he found out."


	188. Rule 11151

By ijnfleetadmiral

 **And Now For Something Completely Different...**

The Naval Base had been quite as of late, aside from the usual bouts of Kongo-ness, but that was nothing new. The latest 'incident' had concerned the SCIENCE!girls' latest inventions, something called 'multi-vector stimulative autonomous capture devices'. Reactions to the project had varied; Akashi had protested, destroyers had quivered in fear, mom-boats had gone into 'me smash all threats' protective mode, and the Naval Base's resident pervert – aka Iku – had immediately inquired if the items were available for private purchase in bulk.

Not something one wanted to hear from someone like Iku, but there you go.

In any event, someone in the SCIENCE!girl department had apparently taken leave of their senses and actually _sent_ Iku one of the damned things, which had resulted in Iku's girlfriend Lieutenant Kamata taking 'emergency leave' on the day Iku had received the device…and neither she nor Iku had been seen since.

That had been _five days_ ago, and Admiral Goto was now feeling somewhat concerned about it. Admittedly, he had absolutely _no_ desire to find out what sort of perverted acts the submarine and her girlfriend were up to, but at the same time both were personnel under his command, so he needed to know they were all right and not both dead due to some kind of sick sexual experiment gone wrong.

He sighed. Sometimes being an Admiral meant you learned things no mortal man needed to know.

Especially when said situations involved Iku.

He was drawn out of his musings by the door opening, and Nagato leading a JMSDF Lieutenant Commander into the room. The officer came to attention and reported.

"JMSDF Lieutenant Commander Hasegawa Gensuke, reporting!"

Goto acknowledged the young man's report and motioned him to a seat, introducing him to Mutsu and Oyodo. "What can we do for you, Commander?"

The young man appeared embarrassed. "Sir, I'm in charge of a unit that monitors various websites that JMSDF personnel visit. This includes the shipgirls, as you know."

Goto nodded. "Allow me to apologize if any of your personnel needed therapy after seeing some of the sites certain…persons…look at. You all have my sympathies."

Hasegawa nodded. "Thank you, sir. If I may speak freely, our unit does have a high turnaround rate." He shook his head. "But the reason I'm here is we also monitor the content on the websites that personnel create themselves."

A sense of foreboding began in Goto's mind. _Uh oh…_ He smiled nervously. "You all _definitely_ have my sympathies."

Hasegawa laughed nervously. "Sir, with all due respect, one of your shipgirls needs…well, I don't know what she needs. She runs a website called , and –"

Goto moaned and dropped his head in his hands. "Don't worry, Commander…I know exactly who you're talking about."

Hasegawa shook his head. "Then you know about the five-day-long livestream they're doing involving something they're calling an 'autonomous capture device'?"

The way the color drained from the Admiral's face immediately clued Takahashi in on the fact that – up until now – the Admiral had been blissfully unaware. _Oops._

The Lieutenant Commander glanced around the room. Nagato was hunched over some paperwork, shaking her head and muttering darkly about 'improper behavior of military personnel', Mutsu was giggling and teasing Nagato, while Oyodo had a notebook out and was scribbling rapidly, in between worried glances at the Admiral.

The silence was broken by another shipgirl bursting into the room.

"Admiral! I got a text message from my sister! She's getting married! I get to be a bridesmaid! Eeeee!"

"What."

The flat reply came from the Admiral, who still looked like he was seeing his life pass in front of his eyes.

"I get to be a bridesmaid, Admiral!" The new shipgirl twirled around happily. "Iku-chan was doing a livestream with Noriko and she said she proposed right in the middle of it. Noriko said 'yes' quite enthusiastically, too, almost like she couldn't wait to marry Iku-chan! Isn't that romantic?"

Hasegawa saw Mutsu clap a hand over her mouth to hold in her giggles. Nagato stared down at her paperwork with an 'I don't need this shit' expression, and Oyodo was muttering something about hand cramps.

"Admiral…?" Nimu trailed off, looking at Goto in concern.

Before anyone could say anything, a ceiling tile popped loose and a brunette girl wearing a flowing white _miko_ top jumped down.

"Heyyy! Teitoku! I sensed you needed me, Dess!" She announced cheerfully, walking over and plopping herself in the Admiral's lap.

Goto's response was to whimper forlornly and cuddle her close, causing the girl to squeal in delight and smother him with kisses interspersed with giggles and lovey noises.

Hasegawa silently wondered just what kind of insane asylum Admiral Goto was running.

"Ah, Teitoku…you're not usually this clingy, Dess!" The girl on Goto's lap giggled. "Perhaps we should go back to your quarters for an extended lunch break?" Her voice dropped to a seductive purr that Hasegawa was sure would make any man bow to her will. Without waiting for an answer, she got to her feet and started dragging Goto to the door.

"Teitoku needs a long lunch break, Dess!" The girl announced, adding with a giggle. "He might be back tomorrow, depending on how well treatment of his condition goes."

"Unacceptable!" Nagato snapped, following the girl and Goto out the door. "Kongo, dragging the Admiral away on a regular basis must stop! You can't simply –" The conversation faded as the door shut behind them and a giggling Mutsu, who had decided to watch the confrontation firsthand. Oyodo merely sighed and returned to scribbling in her notebook, muttering something about the Japanese Psychiatry Association. Hasegawa decided it was best not to ask about it. He then noticed the remaining girl in the room – the one who'd burst in excited about being a bridesmaid – was staring at him, a contemplative expression on her face.

"What's your story, Commander?"

"I, er…I'm from the JMSDF," Hasegawa stammered. "I'm part of a unit that monitors internet usage amongst JMSDF and kanmusu personnel. I informed Admiral Goto about your sister's livestream." He introduced himself. "Lieutenant Commander Hasegawa Gensuke."

"Submarine I-26…call me Nimu," the girl replied, then noticed the surprised expression on Hasegawa's face. "Something wrong?"

"My great-grandfather served aboard you during the Pacific War," Hasegawa replied. "It's an honor to meet you."

Nimu smiled. "I'm always happy to meet a descendant of one of my crewmembers! When did he serve aboard me?"

"He changed his family name to Hasegawa after the war," Hasegawa stated. "His name was Yokota Minoru."

Nimu's happy expression took on a seductive quality. " _Really._ "

Hasegawa briefly caught a glimpse of Oyodo rolling her eyes and muttering, "Here we go again…" He didn't know if his decision to bring up his familial ties to the subgirl had been the worst or best decision he'd ever made, but judging from the look Nimu was giving him, he was probably going to have a helluva good time finding out.


	189. Rule 11695 (by me!)

**11695: Max is to be reminded for the upteenth time that excessive use of force is not authorized! And firing your 102s until an entire Abyssal fleet's magazines go off just because you can counts as excessive use of force!  
11695a: Taffy 3 is not to encourage Max shooting just because it "looks awesome"!**

 **11696: Max, yes you are awesome! Yes you are the epitome of badassary for planes. Yes you are still not a kanmusu and as such you need to excercise some caution!  
11696a: "Eight hour's in the drink? It's a wonder she's still alive!"~ Vestal  
11696b: *worried whimpers*~ Archerfish  
11696c: *Pained groans and soothing noises*~ Max**

 **11697: 6 months in the hanger and that's with the mechanics working around the clock to fix you! Let that be a lesson to you Max.** ** _Do not_** **go charging a fucking Montana-class abyssal on your own. Especially not when it's being supported by a squadron of H-classes!**

It was supposed to be just a routine patrol. Note the words "Supposed to be". As if anything would ever go according to plan when Sparkly Magical Shipgirl Bullshit was involved. Sure, Max was not a shipgirl but she was in love with one and had associated herself with them long enough for the magic to rub off on her she liked to think. At least that's what other pilots said. She was the only aircraft to show signs of "life". So people thought anyways. Max knew her fellow P8s were alive, they just chose not to show it like she did. But she also knew they were considering it. Max thought it would be funny if they one day chose to take control themselves. A good Halloween trick anyways.

Max took off from Runway 5 at Norfolk, turning right after departure as she headed out to sea. She joined up with another 3 P8s out of Jacksonville, part of VP16. Max was a one plane show, not belonging to any squadron but she happily joined the formation, noting with some glee that the aircraft next to her waggled its wings slightly under its own doing. Its pilot cheerfully came over the radio. _"Good morning Max. Ready to do some hunting?"_ Max wished she could speak like a person could. There were so many words! So much variety in speech. All she had was the automated system that Boeing had installed. Usually used only for alerting the crew or making brief announcements to passengers, she used it now to communicate with the other aircraft and crews in her formation. _"Good morning. Yes I am."_ The bland female voice was devoid of the excitement she felt, at least she was convinced she felt. She had no heart to cause an increased heart rate. Not blood to pump faster around her body. But her flaps quivered as she retracted them. Her rudder shivered and she wiggled in her flight path.

Lt. Jack "Fishbone" Angler (Long story, don't ask) of the nearest P8, number 764 chuckled as he observed the aircraft off his left wing. Max was well known amongst the Navy flying community for her Top Gun worthy flying skills as well as her shipgirl like antics. Her battle against Abyssal Task Force 9 was legendary! Her old Southwest livery had been replaced with Navy gray. She bore her registration on her nose like the other P8s in the flight did, 8701 in bold black letters. Her radar dome was painted black. Unlike the others she lacked any squadron markings. Instead, a pair of gold dolphins were painted on either side of her nose, just below the cockpit windows. Those fish were Max's proudest feature, a tribute to her lover and a mark of her current assignment as the lone plane in SUBDESRON 12 out of New London CT. Along her flanks were a pair of bulges that hid torpedoes. On her wings, outboard of her engines were harpoon missiles, 12 in all. Inboard of her engines, almost hidden in the wing roots were gun barrels. Massive ones. These had been installed to replace the phoelinx. Usually designed for tanks, Science! had permitted that Max could carry a pair of 102s. The damage she could do with those! The thought of sharpshooting Max wielding a pair of 102s coupled with her new Aegis systems on unsuspecting Abyssals made Angler quiver with glee and Max eager to test her new weapons. Neither would have to wait long.

Less than an hour into the patrol, the lead P8s radar began to light up with contacts but they didn't need any visual confirmation that they were Abyssals. The chill that worked its way across Max's wings was more than enough. For some reason, the 738M could sense the evil ships in the same way a shipgirl could. The clouds beneath them parted to reveal a massive fleet lead by a Montana-class battleship. And she was not alone. 3 H-classes hugged her flanks along with an assortment of cruisers and destroyers. "That's a lot of guns." whistled Angler. _"But no air cover."_ Max's automated or "Alexa" voice as the pilots liked calling it. They flew over and circled back for another look and sure enough, no carriers were present. "That's still a lot of guns Max." Angler said, knowing what the trigger happy plane was thinking. _"You've got Neo warheads right?"_ She asked, speaking of a brand new addition to the weapons the Poseidon's carried on their Harpoons. The Neo warhead was unaffected by the field Abyssals put off and thus allowed the more modern remains of the Navy to fight in a war they previously had witnessed from the sidelines. The problem was, the weapons were so new that only a handful were in existence. Not nearly enough to take out a whole fleet. "We have two each, but this fleet is full of tough bitches. More than tough enough to take whatever we have in our arsonal." _"I'm aware of that. Just cover me."_ "Understood." Angler knew he couldn't argue with Max.

Max had made a few modifications to her systems since her last flight and instead of having to climb, she rolled over in a dive like a WW2 bomber. Her wings were reinforced to take the increased loads and she gained speed rapidly. She dove straight down on the Montana-class. She lacked the Neo warheads that her fellow P8s had and was forced to launch her weapons at low altitude. At 2000 feet she prepared to deploy. It took seconds for her pass 1000 feet. She launched the harpoon from her left side. It streaked down, slamming into the Montana. The other ships in the fleet opened up with their guns as she pulled up, forcing her to stay on the deck. From above, more harpoons streaked down from the other three P8s hidden in the clouds. They took down one H-class. Max took pleasure in seeing her magazine explode. She banked hard left, her wingtip just feet from the swells as she lined up another shot. She fired off three harpoons in a series. The weapons flew low as they were designed before shooting up and slamming into the Montana's decks. Her thick armor held and Max stifled a curse when fire from the destroyers started hitting her. Bullets struck the fan blades on her right engine and it started to surge. Max shut it down quickly to prevent further damage. Now running on just one engine, she weaved her way around the remaining two H-classes trying to find a way out. Despite the risks she often took, she wasn't suicidal. But this task force wasn't about to let her go. Heavy antiaircraft fire from the destroyer screen blocked her path. After four tries Max was running out of options. Taking near continuous fire, she had lost hydraulics on her right side. Her left wing was punctured and leaking fuel. It was fortunate she had launched all her missiles on that side before those bullets struck. _"If I can't escape, I may as well go down fighting!"_ She thought and lining up a shot, she launched the last two harpoons she had straight at the Montana.

From 20,000 feet, Angler cheered as he saw the large battleship explode. But Max was still trapped. He'd radioed for help but it would take another few hours before Massachusetts could arrive. An hour Max didn't have. Her fuel leak had become critical and she had to be careful in how she presented herself to the enemy, exposing only her right flank. A direct hit on that stream of JetA could cause a massive fireball. Down to torpedoes and a few rounds for her 102s, Max launched a salvo into one of the H-classes. The weapons remained finicky despite her efforts to protect them from the abyssal's field. One torpedo broached, another swam off towards Europe and another struck without detonating. Only one exploded and it took out the H-class' rudder. _"Something I can work with."_ Max thought. She circled back around, climbing steeply to present a smaller target before diving back down. Once again she launched a salvo of torpedoes. Two more struck in close succession but did little damage. The Mark 48s the Navy was so proud of were as useless as the Mark 13. The ability to detonate underneath the ship was the weapons' Achilles heel. They always struck the hull, if they struck at all. The warhead's strength ensured the H-class suffered some flooding and Max resolved to use what she had left to sink it. A slow, vulnerable target with its rudder sheered off, it was easy pickings. Easy being relative of course. There were still quite a few friends there. Those friends now opened up with everything they had against her. Despite her impressive flying skills, Max could only avoid their strikes for so long.

A pair of 5 inch shells went off directly underneath her, shrapnel penetrating her belly and severing her manual control cables. Her only source of control. The pain was unbearable. With a harsh cry, Max's nose lifted and her left engine screamed as it tried to lift her bulk out of the fight. As she gained altitude the flak got worse and worse and worse. The other P8s circling above tried to help. Of their own accords they launched salvo after salvo of harpoons and torpedoes even though there was no chance they'd get a hit. Maybe they could distract the Abyssals long enough for Max to escape. It nearly worked. Max had just passed 3500 feet when a lucky shot from one of the ships below struck her remaining working engine. It practically exploded! Max screamed, nothing automated about it. She literally screamed. "No..." Angler could only watch in horror as the famed 737 nosed down towards the sea. Without control, a rough landing was inevitable. Max practically dove into the swells, leveling off at the last second due to the lift generated over her wings. It was still a very hard landing. Once the spray settled there was some relief at seeing her floating on the surface but no one knew for how long she'd stay there. Planes were not designed to float. They were not boats. The Abyssal fleet steamed off, avoiding Massachusetts fleet with a course change to the south. The US Navy tore after them and requested the remaining P8s fly ahead and keep tabs on the enemy. Except none of the P8s did. Despite the efforts of their crews to turn them around, all three stayed where they were. In formation circling above Max. Every once in a while, one would dive down to a scant 1000 feet and overfly Max seemingly to check on her, wave its wings then return to the group. Max was struggling just to keep her head above water. She'd thrown the ditching switch before she impacted but was still flooding nonetheless. Her bullet ridden wings were rapidly filling with water. Never mind that, the pain she was in was unbearable and the biting cold of the ocean made it worse. Max was still confused as to how she could feel all that but she could.

At one point she lost consciousness. She must have because she dreamed of Archerfish. Her lover was calling to her, whispering soothing words. Everything felt warm, pleasant almost. Max felt like she could just lay down and collapse into that warmth... then a tug. A harsh tug and pain! The pain brought her back and she realized she was moving, being lifted out of the water. Harsh straps dug into her skin and her wounds. Out of the water and now exposed to air she started shivering. She was carried 50 miles to Norfolk by a rescue ship, then lifted by crane onto the pier. Max had used her emergency systems to blow her landing gear down but the instant she touched the tarmac, her gear gave way and she collapsed hard on her wounded belly. She was too tired to cry out and instead a low pitiful groan escaped her. Her radar alerted her to a pair of people standing over her and one was very familiar. Seeing her mate gave Max some relief and she relaxed a little.

Archerfish was stunned at seeing how badly Max was hurt. Her entire body was covered with bullet holes and tracer burns. Her wings were so perforated it was a wonder they were still intact. Her left engine had lost its cowling and the melted remains dangled off her wing. Her right engine was nothing more than a pile of burned junk. Her tailfin was mostly shot away. It had been shot up early in the fight. It was remarkable she could still control her flying despite that injury. These injuries, coupled with her long stay in the water, left Max in critical condition. "8 hours in the drink, it's a wonder she's still alive." whispered Vestal as she got to work. South Dakota joined her. As the shipgirl responsible for a large number of Max's modifications, she had the most knowledge of how the former 737-8 worked. Max was silent as they worked, shutting down her radar as she slowly warmed. Once almost completely numb from her immersion, Max's senses slowly returned as did the pain. It was so fierce she was trembling constantly. Archerfish soothed her as best she could, holding her nose and stroking her head. Without her radar, Max was blind but she could feel Archerfish's hands and their touch helped relax her. Her trembling eased.

After a couple of hours, Max had regained enough strength to find her wheels and limp into her hanger. Technitions started work on her right away. Archerfish never left her side, stroking her nose continuously. "You were so brave." She whispered, her eyes dark as her gaze traveled across Max's badly mawled frame. No aircraft in history had ever returned from battle this severely damaged. Max let out a soft groan that was meant to be a purr but the pain prevented her from giving it correctly. A low rumble rocked her body and she nuzzled Archerfish who got the message. The submarine took Max's nose in her hands and kissed it. "My beautiful, wonderful, brave Max. Don't ever do that again. How could I ever find another as wonderful and precious as you? You are irreplaceable."


	190. Rule 11895

**11895\. Nobody is to ever mention** ** _Fountain of Youth_** **around Kongō.** ** _Ever._** **We had to use some ah... otherworldly sedatives in order to wipe her memory and we would prefer to not have a relapse.**  
 **11895a. Not around Admiral Gotō either, he just sighs and reaches for his hip flask. He has consumed a worrying amount of alcohol at this point.**

 _Rule by Senbonbakara_

"Why me..." Admiral Gotō thought to himself as he lay over Kongō's shoulder as she steamed across the sea. It was not his first time thinking or saying that, and he had a sinking feeling it would not be the last. At his point he dearly wished he could empty his hip flask so he could at least go into an alcohol induced stupor but his hip flask was back at the base. So he settled for grumbling to himself.

"I never thought things would escalate so fast..." Mused the Admiral as he thought back to events roughly an hour ago which led to this point.

-1 Hour Prior-

"I'm sorry, repeat that again." deadpanned Admiral Gotō as he looked blankly at a tired and disheveled Fubuki who was slouched in a chair.

"Yukikaze _somehow_ entered the Bermuda Triangle and brought out a number of things, ranging from the very first Yen dollar bill to a T-Rex and the lost crew of Flight 19." replied Fubuki in a monotone voice which echoed her current physical state. She was also staring at the ceiling.

Admiral Goto blinked once. Twice. Opened and closed his mouth a couple of times and sat very still for an entire minute. Then he finally spoke in a carefully controlled voice.

"The Flight 19 that disappeared over the Bermuda Triangle 75 years ago?"

"That very flight, and they somehow retained their youthfulness."

That new piece of information caused another pounding headache and he clutched his head.

"Oh and they found the Fountain of Youth. My apologies for not saying that earlier." Fubiki added as an afterthought.

At this Admiral Gotō slammed his head into the desk with a resounding thud. Silence reigned in the office for several seconds before Goto asked in a tired voice.

"Does anybody else know about the Fountain of Youth?"

Before Fubuki could answer, the vent cover popped open and Kongō dropped down, grabbed the befuddled Admiral and disappeared back into the vent.

"ByeTeitokuisgoingintotheFountainofYouthandYukikazeisgoingtotakehimoutandAdmiralGotowillbeforeveryoung!"

It took a grand total of two seconds for the exhausted Fubuki is make sense of the battleship's sentence and by then they were long gone.

-Present time-

Right now Kongō was set on a dead straight course for the Bermuda Triangle and no matter how the poor Admiral tried to convince his extremely enthusiastic girlfriend to drop this entire matter she wouldn't budge. He had given up at this point and was trying to make the best of the situation when he heard a soft thud and a grunt of pain from Kongō. He craned his head backward to see her remove a larger than usual dart from her neck.

"HAH! Such a weak tranquilizer will not defeat my BURning...lov-" Kongō then started to pitch forward into the sea. Before she could drink a mouthful of seawater several submarines shot out of the water to support her.

"Hiya Admiral, how's the water? Oof a battleship sure is heavy." Iku grunted under the weight and braced herself to better handle the weight.

"Very funny Iku, where are the others?" Admiral Gotō, having been dropped into the water after Kongō collapsed, dryly replied.

"About 1 kilometers out Admiral, they should be here soon to take over from us dechi." Goya replied this time.

"Why me?..." this time Admiral Gotō moaned out loud.


End file.
